The New Shadow

[gandalf85]

I agree with the ambiguous "Many years" instead of specifically dating the text, since Tolkien never seemed to come to a satisfactory date which makes sense. I only have a few comments:

1) I am currently taking "Intro to Anglo Saxon" from Signum University, so grammar has been on the brain lately. NS-SL-02.5 and NS-SL-03 do not form a complete sentence with subject and predicate; instead, it has a subject and then several dependent clauses.

NS-SL-02.5 <moved from below {Since his son, Berelach,}After his last visit he had gone away again in April.> Saelon, who formerly came only when Berelach NS-SL-03 [who had] been his old friend was with Borlas, but had been most attentive when he was in Emyn Arnen. {Always in to talk or bring news, or run any service he could}>

"Saelon" being the subject and the three bits starting with "who" and "but" being dependent clauses. I think we have to remove the "but". I also think we should keep the next sentence since Tolkien never rejected it:

NS-SL-02.5 <moved from below {Since his son, Berelach,}After his last visit he had gone away again in April.> Saelon, who formerly came only when Berelach NS-SL-03 [who had] been his old friend was with Borlas, {but} had been most attentive when he was in Emyn Arnen. He was {A}always in to talk or bring news, or run any service he could.> >

2) In the end we talk about the source "we have". I'm not sure if we have used "we" or "us" to refer to a modern audience like this, but I actually like it, especially when used at the very end of the narrative. I also think it works nicely with the ending Arcus had suggested for the last chapter (which contains "us"); I think we should use it at the very end here, after a line break:

NS-SL-09 <Appendix A Here ends this tale, as it has come to us {from the South}; and {with the passing of Evenstar} no more is said in this book of the days of old.>