Silmarillion Parody

[Urwen]

And Urwen said, her head held high
I cry my love of Maeglin
I've cried for love

And Urwen said, her head held high
I die for love of Maeglin
I'll die for love

[Huinesoron]

Originally Posted by Urwen

And Urwen said, her head held high
I cry my love of Maeglin
I've cried for love

And Urwen said, her head held high
I die for love of Maeglin
I'll die for love

The Downers gathered in the parody thread
Save for one who posted early:
She spoke of Ondolindë,
Of Gondolin the bright.
She claimed that Tolkien's villain
Was a hero after all
And though he tried to murder
He did not deserve to fall.

Maeglin was the name she spoke of often.

And Urwen said, her head held high:
"I post for love of Maeglin
My crime is love."

The first response: hS, with book in hand:
"He tried to stab young Earendil,
And that only because he
Failed to throw him off a cliff.
He kidnapped Turgon's daughter
But his strength was far too weak
To fend off Tuor's prowess -
He deserved to take that leap!

A court would judge him guilty in a heartbeat."

And Urwen said, her head held high:
"I stand by love of Maeglin
I'm proud to love."

... I'm gonna get carried away by this.

hS

[Urwen]

And so it happened.

[SETTING: After Dagor Dagorath]

EOL
*sips tea*
Why, you're finally here. Wanna talk?

TURIN:
Talk about what?

EOL:
They hail you as a hero, don't you know? They sing praises to you, who drove your sword into Morgoth's black heart. Serves him right, that sucker, ha! And yet, they all overlook my contribution to the whole thing....

TURIN:
*frowns*
What are you talking about?

EOL:
I made your sword, you know? It was the finest piece of work I've ever created. There was another just like it. Its sibling, you know. Then it was taken from me by....someone I wish I could wipe out from my memory. Still, your contribution help me quell my bitterness about that....incident.

[enter Nellas, clearly displeased at the view]

NELLAS:
*frowns*
Stay away from my husband, spouse-killer!

TURIN:
*stands up*
It's okay, it really is.

NELLAS:
No, it's not. He is only trying to corrupt you.

TURIN:
*wry grin*
Ah, the irony. In the past, it was me who corrupted others.

NELLAS:
That was Morgoth's influence.

TURIN:
If I had stayed with you, none of that would have happened, so some of the blame lies with me.
*suddenly notices that his sword is no longer there*

EOL:
It served its purpose in slaying Morgoth, so now I'm taking it back. Thank you.

TURIN:
Meh, I am better off without it. Shall we?

*Turin and Nellas wander off together, as the scene fades to black*

[Urwen]

Guide to Successful Relationship by Phary, Eol, Maeglin and Turin Turambar

It's recommended that you follow these guidelines

1. Your love interest must be a relative, preferably a close one, but a distant one will do the trick too.
2. She must be unwilling to a large degree
3. She must be of nobility
4. She must have a child that you can slay (optional)
5. If you ever beget a child with her, it is necessary that you should slay him/her when he/she comes of age
6. If she is espoused to another, kill them too.
7. If there is someone else who shows an interest in your girl, you must at least try to kill them in the most painful manner possible. Succeeding is recommended, but not necessary.
8. If the rival for your girl's affections is stronger than you, then you will undoubtedly die, but you must throw in one last act of defiance before this happens.
9. You must perform a highly elaborate suicide (optional)

[Urwen]

I present to you.......

The Lolmarillion

Where every rational thought goes to die a painful death

(Just as 80 % of the characters had).