Barrow-Downs Birthday Party at the Fields of Cormallen

[Birdland]

(Pioseniel wins! "The Producers" was correctomundo! Just pick a prize off the Bee-Dubya's gift table. Hmmmm, not much left except the 1978 LoTR action figures. Seems we're not the only larcenous party-goers here...)
Everything had gone wrong with the beautiful plan, since that horrible hobbit-child Primrose had so unexpectedly appeared in the darkness. ("Wait a minute", thinks Birdie, "I usually think hobbit-children are absolutely adorable! What's going on here?")

C.7.A. is crouched over a sodden, dog-eared margin-scribbled copy of "The Silm", crooning "my precious, my precious" under her breath. "Ya know," thinks Birdie, "I really should try reading that someday, and find out what all the fuss is about."

Pioseniel, whistling nonchalantly, as if she wasn't the one to come up with this cock-a-mamie scheme in the first place, has grabbed a bottle of vin ordinaire and is wandering off with Veritas, perhaps to seek the truth.

And where is the REG? "In my pocketess?" Birdie pulls out some lint, 47 ticket stubs to LoTR:FoTR, a book of matches from the Prancing Pony, and a cheap gold Elven ring that she flips into the bushes. No REG.

In the fishing net? She rummages around, but it has disappeared from the supposedly "safe place", but all that remains is some bones and scales.

All she knows is that Mithadan is looking decidedly mithed...errr...miffed. "I better make like a Balrog and fly", thinks Birdie. Suddenly a whimpering Balrog with bloody stumps where his wings were runs by. Another not-so-good sign.

Suddenly, all REG heck breaks loose! A mysterious, thundering, red-headed who's-it looms above the party-goers, covering the fields in a not-so-nice cloud of doom and destruction.

"I have reclaimed what was mine!!!!"

[Sindacuion]

Sindacuion looks at Durazor. "You're Disney?! Uh oh.. Where is this world going to? A lunatic making childrens cartoons! What next?"
Sind feels the need for intelligent company and goes in search for Zifnab..

[Frodo Baggins]

Oh and I'm not intelligent company???!!!! FINE!!!!!! [img]smilies/tongue.gif[/img]

[Sindacuion]

Who was talking about you not being intelligent? [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

[Durazor]

Yes, IM DISNEY, Im brainwashing young children like u Sind (Yes, even such mentally unstable) and turning them into my army of zombie servants FOR MY EVIL PLANS, WICKED, YES, UTTERLY WICKED, TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!! and perhaps even the galaxy and the Netherlands, who knows! Wait! HOLD ON! Who called me insane?... Err... Ehm, mustard?...

[ May 23, 2002: Message edited by: Durazor ]

[Durazor]

Sind? is that long poem underneath your far shorter post's perhaps supposed to make u actually look intelligent, like you are actually posting something? [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

(BTW, u want some mustard?) [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

[Sindacuion]

No thanks.. No mustard without pork!! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

[Sindacuion]

Sindacuion gives Durazor the jar of mustard. "Uh oh.. No thanks.." Sind leaves to search for Estelyn. "She would sure lighten up the party.." As no Estelyn is seen, he goes to greet Zifnab. "How are you, carpet man? [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img] " After a long discussion about the ins and outs of quantum mechanics, Sind is very thirsty. He heads for the buffet table, but he is halted by Durazor. "Are you sure you don't want any mustard?" "No thanks.." he replies and goes to the buffet table. He fills his glass with wine and retires to his tree. HE climbs it up and gets out his FotR. "Now, where was I.."

[Durazor]

"R u really, really, absolutely sure u don't want any mustard? I mean, REALLY? Just like that, like u don't want any at all? Or r u just pulling my leg, or paw, or whatever? So... No mustard 4 u then?"

"Alright..."

Durazor takes a seat at the buffet table and looks for some hobbits to smeer some mustard on. "Can't believe somebody doesn't want any mustard, hmm, I wonder, maybe Thali would want some?" While thinking such deep thoughts (believe me, 4 a Gnoll thats very deep thinking) Durazor sees a hobbit passing by. "Hey, ain't that Frodo?! Yummm!!" [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

[Sindacuion]

Sindacuion glares at Durazor, drooling after a Hobbit. "Erhm.. Is there something you haven't mentioned me?" [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

[Child of the 7th Age]

Child, Birdland, and Piosenniel raced out of the confines of the cave and stood in amazement. Everywhere they looked there were ashes and doom. The party pavillion was wrapped in a circlet of dark cloud and shadow.

Giant birds, black and red with long evil beaks, skirted dangerously low overhead, making harsh, raucous sounds. They swooped down intermittently onto the site where the party had taken place just a few minutes before.

But where, oh where, was everyone now? Where were Frodo and Samwise and his sweet little girl? What had happened to the spinning Galadriel? The tables, the food, the half tipsy guests? Even the carts filled with supplies and provisions.

It was difficult to see anything, but Birdland strained her eyes. She surveyed the scene with utter amazement and a surprising sense of detachment and calm. As the senior member of the trio of conspirators, she seemed to have an instinctive understanding of what had occurred.

For the first time in her entire existence, Birdland was unable to come up with a joke. She whispered softly to Child: "I'm not sure if there's anything left."

"What do you mean?," Child replied, "Nothing left. Those are my friends down there. Even that dreadful Mithadan. There has to be something left! We're already dead, so we can't be killed. Dead bodies don't just fly away."

Birdland and Piosenniel nodded slowly to each other. They at least understood.

Birdland gently explained to Child who seemed to be near the point of tears: "She,....she did it. She of the flying red hair who claimed to control the REG. Perhaps, for once in her life, she was not lying. And it might be possible, it just might be possible to sweep away everyone attending the party into an alternative universe, perhaps the universe where Sauron still rules."

"So what do we do now? I may live on the Barrow-downs, but I do not want to have that nasty Sauron as a neighbor. He was quite miserable to Frodo and Sam." moaned Child.

Birdland queried, "I can still see some possibilities. We, the three of us, could go retrieve the REG and either attmept to reprogram it or thrust it into the void."

"Also, there may have been some inhabitants of the Downs who weren't at the party, who were off posting on the boards. If some of them returned, they could help us search for that REG. And look, down below!"

A few miserable survivors were crawling out from under the dark cloud which had been the party pavillion. Vaguely, Child made out the form of Mithadan who appeared to be hobbling along on one leg. Who was that beside him? Perhaps Frodo Baggins and Rose? And look, her own pony was coming up the hill.

Child looked straight at Piosenniel and Birdland, "You two are the smart ones. Now tell me what should we do next?"

[ May 23, 2002: Message edited by: Child of the 7th Age ]

[Rose Cotton]

After reviving Frodo, Rose goes to help Sam and Primrose.

[Samwise]

*Primrose and Sam sit on the bank of the Anduin next to a destroyed barrel. Both are breathing laboriously.*
Prim: How do you like that? Goes storming off without so much as a 'thank you'!

Sam: Well, Tiny Rose, he was awfully upset.

Stacey: *Running up* What happened to you two? *Looks at the three barrels, one in peices, quizzically* Mithidan's back there yelling, and everythings--well, weird. "

Sam: *Shakes his head* I'm not really sure, Miss Stacey, this just has been one odd party.

Stacey: *Frowns and helps the two up* Well, let's at least go find Frodo. The last I saw he was awake.....

[Losthuniel]

Celeaewn is woken by blue rain on her fave and, a wild figre in a black cloak sceaming " i have come to reclaim what is mine!" celeaewen swore under her breath as many lound flashes, bangs, etc, followed thius announcement. then, suddenly a good deal of the people at the party dissapeared. Celeaewen swore again " i KNEW i shouldnt have touched that wire." Celeaewen tried vainly to collect her thoughts, but all she could peice together was that she had been playing with the pretty green wire, whenb someone had rudely innnterupted her by slapping her on the neck with a big heavy stick. beyond that, there was very little, propbably due tot the fact that her tender elvish brain had been totally overloaded. since there was nothing for her to do, and since the dissaperance of many partygoers did not bother her overmuch, she decided to get even with the ruder person who had inttereupted her tampering. being still slightly frazzled, she charged up to the hill where everyone else was heading, to give somebody what for.

[Mithadan]

Mithadan swiftly marshalled such guests as he could find who were not being guarded by the dragons. He explained the situation quickly. The Princess, a disgruntled member who wished for a return of the "Old Times" before the Movie had come out, had seized control of the REG and used it to capture many of the 'newbies'. The REG (Random Events Generator), normally a harmless plaything used to create humorous situations in RPGs, had become very powerful and dangerous. He had last seen it in the bar just before Piosenniel, Birdland and Child of the Seventh Age had assaulted him. The three, normally upstanding members of the Downs, had somehow become convinced he was evil, likely due to the effects of the REG. The REG, a simple black box with 4 buttons, must be destroyed, or the red-haired one would forever dominate the Downs.

Looking up, he spied Pio, Birdie and Child and ran toward them. To his surprise, they seized rocks and branches and raised them as he approached. "Ladies," he said. "We have a problem."

"Darn right," responded Birdland. "And if you come any closer, you'll have a big problem!"

He shook his head. "You don't understand. The Princess has seized control of the REG and greatly increased its power. It is very dangerous and must be destroyed. Do you have it?"

"If we did, you'd be the last person we'd give it to," replied Piosenniel swinging a branch at Mith's head. Mithadan ducked (after two years at the Downs, he has become very good at ducking) and stepped back holding his hands open and raised up.

"Listen," he began. "Its me! Mithadan! Child, you recall when I supported your controversial thread? And Birdland, I helped you identify your rare set of LoTR! And Piosenniel... uh, hi, pleased to meet you. Anyway, reprogrammed, the REG can generate virtually anything [a pun wraith appears and hands Mith a citation before disappearing in a puff of noxious smoke]. You name it. A troop of hill trolls, anything."

Behind him, a troop of hill trolls appear, weilding clubs and knives. With a roar, they advance upon the group of Barrow-Downers who turn quickly and run.

"Puff, puff, I think I dropped it over here somewhere," cried Piosenniel.

[Losthuniel]

Celeaewn sblushed, as mithidan babbled on about increasing power in the REG.
"umm Mithiadan, i think i know why the REG is doing that, and its not scary people in black cloaks..." Celeaewn described her little, ah, grudge against the REG, and the events that came after

[ May 23, 2002: Message edited by: Losthuniel ]

[Samwise]

*Stacey, Sam, and Primrose come running in upon this*
Stacey: Yike! It's gotten worse!!

Sam: If only I had thought to bring my Barrow-blade.....

Primrose: *Grins* Ha! But at least I brought my bow!! *Gets on her knee and begins spearing hill trolls as they go by*

[VanimaEdhel]

Menelduliniel comes back in.

I am here! And I am a bit more sober! Miss me? What are we discussing? Intelligence? "Well, the way I be seeing it, you're going to be needing someone of intelligence for this mission ... quest ... thing ..."...heehee: couldn't help it! But we all know that I am the symbol of intelligence, me being an Elf and all!

Menelduliniel bows, then goes and gets herself a pint of ale ("This, my friend...is a pint." "They come in pints? I'm getting one!"), since she has not yet had any!

[VanimaEdhel]

Yay! We're on page eleven! Go us! Let's see how far we can get!

Everyone come join the celebration!

Menelduliniel picks up the hem of her flowing gown and dances to the music with joy at the eleventh page.

[Samwise]

Sam: *Runs up* erm....Miss Vanima, if you'll look on the last page, you'll see things're in a bit of an uproar. I think you'd best hide! *Runs off to find Frodo*

[VanimaEdhel]

Menelduliniel stands on top of a table (hey: I'm still a LITTLE drunk!) and says quite loudly:

What have I to fear? I am an Elf! Muahahahaha!

Well: gotta go out to dinner then to my concert, so back to the pond with my character! Nice seeing y'all!

[Frodo Baggins]

a troll picks up Frodo by the coat-tail


"EEEEEP!! HELP!!!!! Leggo! let go! SAM!! GAladiriel!! Rose!!!! someone????

[Child of the 7th Age]

Child put down the long branch she had been waving in order to club Mithadan over the head.

Her own brain was splitting. Half of it was advising her to advance with her comrades and do away with the Barrow administrators.
The other half was saying this couldn't be real. She had never had any particular grudge against them before, so the whole thing was quite strange.

It was as if something nasty was leading her on which she was powerless to halt. For the first time in her quiet and uneventful life, Child began to understand some of the problems cousin Frodo had talked about on his Ring quest. And this was only one little REG. She swore, if she got out of this mess alive, she'd never call Frodo a "chump" again, even behind his back.

Things were certainly in an uproar, but at least the situation seemed better than Birdland had feared. Most of the party site was battered and broken, but still in this universe.

More and more frightened guests came crawling out from under the overturned tables and fallen trees. She looked around--Stacey, Sam, Rose, Primula, Celeaewen, Frodo and Mennelduliniel were all in sight. The ones who had disappeared did seem to be newbies along with a few of those daft Legolas fangirls.

If it had only been the fangirls, Child probably would have advised forgetting the whole thing and letting them remain imprisoned for the next 200 years. However, you can't desert newbies. They tend to be very vulnerable, to say nothing of the fact that she had been a newbie not so very long ago.

There did seem to be one other problem. A few of the party guests were so inebriated that they didn't realize the music and dancing had stopped, and that the Barrow-downers were in a desperate situation. These few individuals were still attempting to initiate festivities and finish up the remaining pints of ale. Rose was going around trying to sober them up explaining the gravity of he current situation.

Thank goodness, the alternate universe Sauron was nowhere in sight. But there was one contingent of hill-trolls who looked rather threatening. It was obviously important to destroy the REG. She hoped Piosenniel could remember where it was. Even with her splitting head, she sensed that a enraged Mithadan would probably be better to deal with than an alternate universe Sauron.

"OH NO, hey, Hill-troll, you put Mr. Frodo down." Child begins beating the troll with her much battered mailbags that were still emblazoned with the insignia of the Shire messenger service.

[ May 23, 2002: Message edited by: Child of the 7th Age ]

[Mithadan]

Mithadan listened carefully to Celeaewn as he ran from the Trolls. An errant arrow whizzed by his ear as Primrose valiantly assaulted them. "You played with the wiring? Then the Princess may only be a contruct," he panted. "For that matter you all might be constructs. Maybe only I am real. Or maybe I'm an illusion also. If a tree falls in the woods... Forget it. Either way, we still have to find the REG. Everyone! On the count of 3, split up and go in different directions. 1...2...3!"

The group abruptly split up and the Trolls, dim witted beasts that they were, ran afoul of each other with the entire troop tripping and stumbling into a writhing pile. From above, a mighty voice boomed out, "Pigpile!" Chrysophylax plummeted down to crash atop the troop of Trolls. The dragon turned a golden eye towards Mithadan and winked. Mith pulled out his dictaphone and recorded, "Note to self, thank Kuruharan for bringing the dragon."

He turned and ran back to Primrose, who had just nocked an arrow and was taking aim at Chrysophylax. He snatched the bow from her hands. "Never annoy a live dragon, dear," he said. "Now, the REG..."

[Samwise]

Sam: Mister Frodo!!!!!

Primrose: Not a problem, Papa! *With much speed, whips several arrows one at a time out of her quiver and very soon the hill troll looks like a pincushion. It stands a moment, still holding Frodo, then both fall to the ground.

Sam: *Running forward after he's sure his daughter has stopped shooting* Mister Frodo! Please tell me you're all right! Please, Mister Frodo!

[Samwise]

Primrose: All right, NOW I'm mad!!
*Runs after the administrator, jumps on his back and yells in his ear.*
Sir, for your information I was aiming at the trolls underneath, and for another, that bow was a gift from my "uncle" Legolas, so you'd best give it back right now, as I know you've got other buisness to attend to, and you don't want to see me MAD!!

Stacey: *Behind a tree, and who has had all of one conversation with Mithidan before, sees all of this and bangs her head against the tree* Aw, Primrose, no....

[Frodo Baggins]

OOPH!! OW! Frodo is on hi back, not fully concious ...........sam?................................

[Child of the 7th Age]

Child finds a small container of water and rushes it over to Sam. "Here, here, give this to Frodo. He looks really dreadful." Hands Samwise the water.

[Samwise]

Sam: Mister Frodo! Please wake up! Everythin's all crazy like, and Primrose just... [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img] ai, I think we're gonna get kicked out of the Barrowdowns....

[Samwise]

Sam: Thank you so much, Miss...erm, c'n I just call you Child? I have such trouble with names....

[Frodo Baggins]

Oohhhh.... Sam??? Speaking of the hammer and the anvil....
och!'

[Samwise]

Sam: *sighs with relief* Oh, Mister Frodo, you're okay!

*hears Primrose yelling: "And another thing, Mister Mithidan...!"

Sam: Oh, Mister Frodo, I'm afraid this is goodbye. [img]smilies/frown.gif[/img]

[Gimli Son Of Gloin]

Gimli drains his 254th mug.

[Samwise]

Stacey: *Wondering what to do next*......

[Child of the 7th Age]

Child again moans: "Oh, dear, there are still partygoers roaming the site who have had one too many, and don't realize the grave situation we are in." Child goes to help Rose make a large pot of black coffee in hopes of sobering them up.

"And, oh Samwise, 'Child' is fine."

[ May 23, 2002: Message edited by: Child of the 7th Age ]

[Samwise]

Stacey:*Seeing Sam and Frodo, runs over* Need a hand?

[Mithadan]

"Please, Primrose, I'll give you back the bow, just don't point it at anyone," says Mithadan, while wondering if the site's liability insurance is paid up.

Mithadan turns to his 3 kidnappers. "Which one of you had the REG last," he asked. Child and Piosenniel turned to look at Birdland, who was scratching in the dirt with the toe of her shoe. Mithadan clears his throat and taps his foot impatiently. Behind them in the party field several orcs have discovered the Barrow-Wight's tent. This does not bode well...

"Well I had it by those bushes, there," said Birdland as she pointed to the West. "Then we walked that way back towards the river and it was gone..."

[ May 23, 2002: Message edited by: Mithadan ]

[Samwise]

Primrose: Thank you, sir. *Drops off his back* Now, what can we do to help? *Notices her father and Stacey running over*

[Losthuniel]

Celaewne joins the conference between Mithidan, Birdlan and Poisenniel. "welll, i was playing with it behind that rock there. and i assure you, sir Mithidan that i am very much alive. i can tell because currently, i am wondering if we will get out of this alive." she spied the orcs goig for the Barrowwight's tent. " o crap. this is not good. all i have are daggers. butthats beside the point the question is, where is that blasted REG? Mithidan, since you seem ti be , the er, leader of sorts, perhaps you could inform us of how exactly are we going to get out of this alive? we must find the newbies! my friends are caught in some starnge alternayte univers, no doubt, and we have to do something! though that fangirls-in-a-cage-clause is not so bad" Celeaewen continued in this rather jumbled train of thought for some time before noticing that her elders were glaring at her.she shut up rather quickly, and tried to listen attentivly as they continued their concil, in a much more organized fashion.

[Belin]

Belin hasn't had anything to drink so far, so she's as clearheaded as she ever is. She eyes the fearful apparition, considers her options, and decides, useless as ever, that her best course of action is to cower, as abjectly as possible, and hope she won't be noticed. She could be easily overlooked, it happens all the time. Right. She looks around to see if perhaps there's some kind of bush she could hide under.

THe princess's cry of "There is no wisdom that they can learn; they are incapable! They exchange instant message addresses and engage in senseless quests. They speak of homework and teachers and MOVIE CHARACTERS! Join with me. We will use the REG to restore this site to its former greatness!" is still echoing through the fields. Belin's search for a hiding place becomes more fervent; she begins to feel that she has been making rather a nuisance of herself in the chat room lately.

Ah! Here we are! The West side of the fields. Belin carefully crawls under a holly bush, wincing but silent. There's something behind her,something small and hard. Her heart leaps. If this is the REG.. If this is it....

No, no, drat it all, it's just a stupid, useless bag of gold. She decides to stick to cowering; it's more in her line.