Everything I need to know I learned from LOTR

[purplefluffychainsaw]

1) If you have blonde hair, color changing eyes, good archery skills, can speak pretty elvish phrases, are graceful, and wear tight pants, you will always have a mob of teenyboppers chasing you.

Really? I'm settled then. Well, I'm not really all that graceful, but the rest I've got sorted. But that screws what I was going to say:

1) Grow your hair long, dye it blonde, get some false pointy ears and a bow. You'll ne'er need goo lookee for a girl e'er again.

But I still have:

2) When in the middle of the wilderness, and or a battle don't worry about your hair. 'Specially if it's long and blonde. ((Really? I wish.))


3) If you are under **Checks height scale** about 5" and don't posses pretty jewellry then you are automatically comedy relief.

4) don't worry about that great big army. Gandalf/Aragorn/the elves will come and help you.

5) (related to above) BUT they won't come until most of YOUR army is dead.

6) million to one chances *always* come through

7) Never walk into a flood. (Pay attention all you Nazgul at the back there!)

8) the elves can cure *anything*, even death **cougharagorncough**

9) Don't trust a slimy miget more then your best friend. Even if he has been through what you're going through.

10) Just becuase the elves say it doesn't mean it is true elvish.

Hmmm... That be all I can think of for now. But I'll be back! Oh!

11) Listen to the elves. Usually they know what they're doing. Yes, Isildur, that means you too.