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#1 | |
King's Writer
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,716
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Aman and Mortal Men
This is the first draft of the chapter Aman and Mortal Men in the part The Black Years.
There is no Basic Text in this chapter and I will give source information for each part that is used. They are mostly from The Akallabęth in Sil77 and Aman and Mortal Men from HoME 10, MT, Text XI. The markings are: BY-HL-zz for Black Years, Head-Lines, marking all headlines for the chapters in this part. AMM-SL-zz for Aman and Mortal Men, Story-Line, to document all changes that construct the main text. AMM-HA-zz for Aman and Mortal Men, History of the Akallabęth, to document all reconstruction to the original text. I will normally not comment on these. Some conventions of my writing: Normal Text is from the text that is mentioned in the source information of each insert. Bold Text = source information, comments and remarks {example} = text that should be deleted [example] = normalised text, normally only used for general changes <source example> = additions with source information example = text inserted for grammatical or metrical reason /example/ = outline expansion Normally if an inserted text includes the beginning of a new § these is indicated by a missing “>” at the end of the § and a missing “<” at the beginning of the next. Quote:
BY-HL-13: As will be seen this chapter is a kind of collection, but this title seems fitting. AMM-SL-01: We start with a long passage from the Akallabęth telling of the development of the desire of the Númenorens and the reaction of the Valar. AMM-HA-04: In the following passage I tried to use ’thus’ and ’thy’, but I am open to changes, since I am not surfe the us I made is correct. BY-HL-14 & AMM-SL-02: Here we change to text Aman. But I don’t think we should use the title, therefore I replaced it by this editorial addition. AMM-SL-03: The reference of ‘thus’ is removed with the new place of the text and we have to remove some of the essay character. AMM-SL-04, AMM-SL-05: We avoided specifying the length of the Valian Year. So we have to be ambiguous here as well. Respectfully Findegil |
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#2 | |
Quentingolmo
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 525
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I agree to all of the changes, but for AMM-SL-03 the editing is awkward, and I would simplify it thus:
Quote:
As a side note, when laying out your drafts to me earlier, you originally included more material after the inserted Aman essay. Why the choice to end the chapter here instead? Last edited by ArcusCalion; 05-30-2018 at 06:01 PM. |
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#3 |
King's Writer
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,716
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AAM-SL-02 : Agreed.
Sorry I am not aware what I proposed differently. There ia no more of the Aman essay. And what follows in the Akallabeth is used in the next chapter. Respectfully Findegil |
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#4 |
Quentingolmo
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 525
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Ah ok I must have misunderstood. My bad!
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#5 |
Wight
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 121
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Why is Arda changed to Earth in AMM-HA-03 and AMM-HA-06 ? I looked in the "general changes" thread and could not find it. Other than that, I don't have any comments.
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#6 |
Quentingolmo
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 525
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Those edits mark where Christopher Tolkien changed the text of the Akallabeth from what Tolkien originally wrote for the version in the published Silmarillion. They're given in HoME XII, the section 'History of the Akallabeth.' We are simply restoring the text to Tolkien's original. That's what every marker with an -HA- in it is for.
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#7 |
Wight
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 121
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OK, got it.
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