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Old 03-18-2019, 05:23 PM   #18
Aiwendil
Late Istar
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 2,148
Aiwendil has been trapped in the Barrow!
I got off to a good start but then got bogged down with some other things. I think I'll post the comments I have so far, which mainly address the easier early parts.

I think I prefer my selection of LQ vs. AAm (see my post above) as the basic text paragraph by paragraph. For much of the chapter, AAm is the fuller (and later, I believe) text, so taking LQ as the basis throughout means breaking it up with a lot of insertions from AAm. I think it’s better to take full sections from AAm. So, for instance, I would be inclined to start the chapter with AAm section 30, rather than start with LQ section 18, only to switch to AAm after a few sentences.

CE-SL-01: This addition is not needed if we take up the emendation (as indeed we must) from AAm* (given in the notes on AAm), where the change was apparently specifically made to remove Melkor’s creation of the Balrogs:

We must similarly take up the emendation from AAm* in the following section.

Thus, my text:

Quote:
CE-01 <AAm {§30} For one thousand years of the Trees the Valar dwelt in bliss in Valinor beyond the Mountains of Aman, and . . . but should wait for a time of awakening that yet should be.> CE-01.1<AAm* But Melkor dwelt in Utumno, and he did not sleep, but watched and laboured; and whatsoever good Yavanna worked in the lands he undid if he could, and the evil things that he had perverted walked far abroad, and the dark and slumbering woods were haunted by monsters and shapes of dread. And in Utumno he multiplied the race of the evil spirits that followed him, the Úmaiar, of whom the chief were those demons whom the Elves afterwards named the Balrogath. But they did not yet come forth from the gates of Utumno because of their fear of Oromë.>
<AAm{§31} Now Oromë dearly loved all the works of Yavanna, . . . he would often come also to Middle-earth, and there go a-hunting under the stars.> CE-01.2 <AAm* He had great love of horses and of hounds, but all beasts were in his thought, and he hunted only the monsters and fell creatures of Melkor. If he descried them afar or his great hounds got wind of them, then his white horse, Nahar, shone like silver as it ran through the shadows, and the sleeping earth trembled at the beat of his golden hooves. And at the mort Oromë would blow his great horn, until the mountains shook,> <AAm and things of evil fled away; but Melkor . . . giving battle only to those of little strength, tormenting the weak,> CE-01.3 <AAm* and trusting ever to his slaves to do his evil work.> <AAm Yet ever his dominion spread southward over Middle-earth, for even as Oromë passed the servants of Melkor would gather again; and the Earth was full of shadows and deceit.>
CE-EX-03: I’m not sure I agree that this needs to be added to explicitly motivate the council. It would make sense to add it if by changing from AAm to LQ here, we somehow missed out on a similar explanation from LQ, but that’s not the case; LQ has a section telling the same stuff, essentially, as in AAm sections 30-31, and then moves on to the council without comment (the motivation being implied, I think). A very minor point, and certainly not one I feel strongly about, but in general I prefer not to break up the texts without good reason.

CE-EX-04: There’s probably a lot to say about the Cuivienyarna, but first I should repeat that I agree in principle that it would be good to include it. I would not that I prefer a slightly different placement for it, where I think it is less disruptive to the text. My version has here:

Quote:
{§19} And Varda said naught,. . . but in the North in the Elder Days Men called them the Burning Briar: {quoth Pengolod}.>
CE-03 <AAm {§37} In that hour, it is said, . . .
{§38} In the changes of the world. . . and the sound of water falling over stone.>
At this point the Cuivenyarna would be inserted
<AAm{§39} Long the Quendi dwelt . . . no other living things that spoke or sang.
In other words, I would place the Cuivienyarna after AAm sections 37 and 38, which allows those paragraphs to form a complete thought before diverting our attention to the legend. One might, I suppose, object to the slight atemporality of mentioning that the first sound the Elves heard was the sound of water before the Cuivienyarna tells that they awaken, but that atemporality is there anyway since the very first sentence of the Cuivienyarna returns to the time “when their first bodies were being made”.

I’d also note, and this is a small and very minor point, that I see no reason to import the first sentence from LQ section 20 to replace the beginning of AAm section 37; as in my version, I prefer to use sections 37-38 of AAm in their entirety.

Now we come to the hard question of the status of the Cuivienyarna. I think the evidence shows that Tolkien did not intend this to be (necessarily) the “real” story of the awakening of the Elves, in all its details. He noted on the typescript itself:

Quote:
Actually written (in style and simple notions) to be a surviving Elvish "fairytale" or child's tale, mingled with counting-lore.
Then there’s the footnote attached to the statement that the Elvish words for “one”, “two” and “three” came from the names of Imin, Tata, and Enil:

Quote:
The Eldarin words referred to are Min, Atta (or Tata), Nel. The reverse is probably historical. The Three had no names until they had developed language, and were given (or took) names after they had devised numerals (or at least the first twelve).
Which shows that he considered at least some details of the legend to be likely “untrue”. And finally, the story is referred to both in its title and in “Quendi and Eldar” as a legend. That doesn’t mean it’s not “true”, of course, but it does mean that Tolkien is not telling us that it’s true.

All of which is to say that I have a nagging feeling that we must insert something to set the legend apart as just that, and I’m not sure that including the title is enough. I would suggest that we might use Tolkien’s own note from the typescript as an additional subtitle:

Quote:
CE-EX-04 <Q&E
The legend of the Awaking of the Quendi
(Cuivienyarna)
<Q&E note to Cuivienyarna[A] surviving Elvish "fairytale" or child's tale, mingled with counting-lore>
While their first bodies were being made ...
CE-SL-06, -07: I wonder if it’s not better simply to remove this bit rather than make this editorial addition:

Quote:
Now the Quendi loved all of Arda that they had yet seen, and green things that grew and later the sun of summer were their delight; but nonetheless they were ever moved most in heart by the Stars[.]{, and the hours of twilight in clear weather, at 'morrowdim' and at 'even-dim', were the times of their greatest joy. For in those hours in the spring of the year they had first awakened to life in Arda.} But the Lindar, above all the other Quendi, from their beginning were most in love with water, and sang before they could speak.>
CE-EX-06 - CE-EX-23: As a general comment, I think the MT material here and following feels very jarring and out of place. These texts are very much Tolkien, in his own voice, commenting on his story and world, and inserting large parts of this into the story itself feels like a bit of an abuse of those texts to me. It would be different if the MT texts in question provided critical components of the narrative, but mostly they just explain and contemplate the narrative.

If the decision is to keep this material, I think ArcusCalion’s suggestion of making it a separate section with its own sub-heading is a good one, but I think it will need a lot more work. My vote would be not to include it here. Perhaps if a coherent and self-sufficient text can be made of it, it could be separated and put elsewhere, for instance as an appendix?
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