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Old 05-23-2004, 09:00 PM   #2841
Nimrothiel
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White Tree

Ah yes, the "Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch;" one of my personal favorites. Hmmm, this will probably be a shorter and slightly incorrect version, but I can't resist.

Aragorn: "Bring out the 'User's Guide to the Holy Hand Grenade of Aman.'"

Gandalf (as he brings forth the grenade and instruction booklet) : "Pies Iesu Domine, dorme eis requiem."

Aragorn: "Proceed to read the instructions."

Gandalf: "Hold forth thy Holy Hand Grenade of Aman, and pull the Holy pin. Proceed to count to three. Thou shalt not count no more and no less than three, but three only. Two thou shalt not count, unless thou proceedeth directly onto three. Five is right out. The number three being counted, and the number counted being three, throw thy Holy Hand Grenade of Aman and thy foe shall snuff it."

Aragorn: "Right." *pulls pin* "One...two...five!"

Hama: "Three, sir!"

Aragorn: "I mean three!"

*throws grenade at a squadron of orcs; who promptly blow up*

Narrator: "And so the way was cleared for the king to proceed to the aid of Rohan. And there was much rejoicing."

All: "Hooray."

Huh, I guess it wasn't that short.
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Old 05-24-2004, 03:41 PM   #2842
Mad Baggins
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Sam: Is that rope? Aww...but I wanted a dagger...what can you use stupid rope for?
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Old 05-24-2004, 09:01 PM   #2843
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Pipe

Sam: "Pippin, keep that sword away from me..."
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Old 05-25-2004, 04:18 AM   #2844
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While the others were incredulous at their gifts, Sam was staring in wonder at his...
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Old 05-25-2004, 06:32 AM   #2845
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Eomer of the Rohirrim is a guest at the Prancing Pony.Eomer of the Rohirrim is a guest at the Prancing Pony.
Pippin knew that he had despoiled the water in Galadriel's mirror, but he wondered if she knew. Look in his eyes.... he is saying "Please blame Sam!"
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Old 05-25-2004, 01:11 PM   #2846
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Tolkien

Galadriel: Now Sam, you get a choice: this rope, or a box of dirt.

Sam:
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Old 05-25-2004, 03:25 PM   #2847
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Merry/Pippin/Galadriel: Woah! Sam's feet are purple!

Sam: I knew they'd notice eventually.
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Old 05-27-2004, 05:44 AM   #2848
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Eye

Sam: I hope the Lady Galadriel doesn't notice I'm staring at her lovely dress. I want to touch it, George. It looks like rabbit's fur, George.

Pippin: Lennie... I mean, Sam... leggo of the Lady Galadriel!
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Old 05-28-2004, 02:36 AM   #2849
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Silmaril

Sam: Lady Galadriel, you walk around barefooted?
Pippin: Don't look now, but a snake is approaching her...
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Old 05-28-2004, 10:32 AM   #2850
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White Tree

Sam: "Wow, I wonder where she gets her nails done; that's the best pedicure I've ever seen. And coming from a hobbit that's saying a lot!"
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Old 05-28-2004, 11:40 AM   #2851
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Gal- No Sam, you're not old enough for a knife.

Sam- B-but Merry and Pippin have knives!

Gal- If Merry and Pippin jumped off a bridge, would you?

Sam- Maybe...
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Old 05-28-2004, 01:15 PM   #2852
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Galadriel: Now Sam, because you have been a naughty boy you get this box of dirt.

Sam: But I only stood on your toes once!

Galadriel: But it hurt!
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Old 05-28-2004, 03:56 PM   #2853
Mad Baggins
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http://www.ninecompanions.net/galler..._urukhai_2.jpg

And Larry the Uruk wins by a helm!
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Old 05-28-2004, 05:54 PM   #2854
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White-Hand

*Uruks are playing hopscotch* "Oooh, you're cheating, I'll tell Saruman on you!"
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Old 05-28-2004, 06:03 PM   #2855
Firefoot
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Firefoot has been trapped in the Barrow!
front Uruk: It's so dry out here, maybe we should do a rain dance.
*Uruks do rain dance*
right Uruk: Is it working? Is it working?
*rain dance not working*
*back Uruk waves scythe at the heavens*:Come on, rain already!
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Old 05-28-2004, 06:51 PM   #2856
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Tolkien

You shall die in the name of- Hey look, I found a silver penny!
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Old 05-29-2004, 04:55 AM   #2857
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The Uruks perfect their version of 'Wild Dance' in the hope of repeating it's success and winning next year's Eurovision.
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Old 05-31-2004, 09:04 AM   #2858
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The Eye

Its Uruk-Mania! Yes you too can be part of the action, line up to get beheaded by our lovely assistants Uglutz and Glaruk, or if you really want to have some fun you can choose to be run down by a band of rampaging Uruk-Hai!
$17.00 for admission
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Old 05-31-2004, 10:26 AM   #2859
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Pipe

front uruk: Not maggoty bread again!!!
Right uruk: Waaaaaaaaahhhhhh i want real food!
left uruk: I think i saw a dog running over here!
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Old 06-01-2004, 06:52 AM   #2860
Eomer of the Rohirrim
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Boots

The sack of the little village stopped abruptly when Henry the Uruk heard the jingle of the approaching ice-cream van.
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Old 06-01-2004, 03:13 PM   #2861
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... the Uruk-hai are perfecting Riverdance.....
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Old 06-03-2004, 09:44 AM   #2862
Maeggaladiel
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THe mighty Uruk-hai, the fearless terrors of Middle Earth...

Uruks: AAAHHHH! A BEEEEE!!!!
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Old 06-03-2004, 06:19 PM   #2863
Nimrothiel
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White Tree

*"Aaaah! A bee!!"* Roflmao!

All I can think of is having "We are the Champions" playing in the background; maybe have the Uruk with the "Olympic torch" show up: "Hey, you were supposed to wait for me!" Yeah, pretty lame, hah?
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Old 06-04-2004, 02:02 PM   #2864
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This makes me think of a Gatorade or Sprite commercial.I'm expecting to see the uruks sweat little red or blue beads of sweat and hear them sing "Anything you can do, I can do better" song. I'm strange, I know.

Vuelve
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Old 06-05-2004, 09:06 PM   #2865
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The Eye



Gandalf: The board is set, soon the pieces will be in motion
Merry: checkmate!
Pippin: *grumbling* I hate chess!
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Old 06-05-2004, 09:11 PM   #2866
Morsul the Dark
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1420!

Aragorn: Did you see that?
Legalas: Yeah I didn't know Gandalf could break dance
Gandalf: That's right Theoden, you just got served!
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Old 06-06-2004, 12:06 PM   #2867
Sirithheruwen
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Gandalf: I need a hug...
Aragorn and Legolas: Just back away slowly...
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Old 06-06-2004, 01:16 PM   #2868
Nimrothiel
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White Tree

Gandalf and Co. are frozen in shock as Theoden has chosen this moment to enter the hall with Elrond, both wearing purple dresses purloined from Arwen's wardrobe and wearing heavy make-up; topped off by feathered hats and large brightly colored handbags.

Wow, sometimes I really do scare myself. Oh and Vuelve, I thought your post was quite good.
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Old 06-08-2004, 06:23 AM   #2869
Evisse the Blue
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Sorry guys, but I saw this pic and couldn't resist!

Gandalf: Grieve not, dear friends, for I am back!
Aragorn(forced smile) :Hey, that's nice. (mutters): Should have made sure you were dead!
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Old 06-08-2004, 07:41 AM   #2870
Aredhel Ar-Feiniel
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Aragorn: Hi, Im Aragorn from BBC's what not to wear, and Gandalf stormcrow, we have been secretly filming you for the past two weeks!!
Gandalf: Oh ho! very funny.
Aragorn: Heres a check for 2000 pounds to spend on clothes, all you have to do is turn your wardrobe over to me..
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Old 06-09-2004, 12:45 PM   #2871
Feared Half-Elf
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For the first Gandalf pic...

Gandalf: *Sings* I believe I can fly...

For the second...

Aragorn: Exactly how much did you say you'd drunk?
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Old 06-10-2004, 09:13 PM   #2872
Nimrothiel
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White Tree

Gandalf: "Shay, have you tried the beer at the 'Leaky Car--Caurd--C-thingy?'"

Aragorn: "No, can't say as I have."

Gandalf: "Oh...it'sh quite good."

Aragorn: "I'll bet." (thinking: "Good Lord, he must have drunk the pub dry!")

Gandalf: "No, really, you should try it shometime."

Aragorn: "Right, if I'm ever in the neighborhood I'll stop by. Now, why don't you go take a cold shower and I'll make a pot or two of coffee?"
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Old 06-11-2004, 01:17 AM   #2873
Nilpaurion Felagund
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Narya

Gift-giving picture:

Sam(mutters): Hmph! She has pink toenails. I wish I had pink toenails...

Uruk-Hai picture:

Saruman's spring cleaning.

First Gandalf picture:

Gandalf: Can I drop my arms now? It's really heavy.

Aragorn: Not until you tell me where Andril is.

Second Gandalf picture:

Aragorn: That's better, isn't it? *pinches Gandalf in the leg*
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I intend to copy this sig forever - so far so good...
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Old 06-11-2004, 04:07 AM   #2874
Hama Of The Riddermark
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Second Gandalf Picture:

The one about the hobbit and the mumak never failed to get Gandalf to laugh.


First Gandalf picture:

You know...Jacskon's taking his sweet time making this scene...
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Old 06-15-2004, 10:43 AM   #2875
Elennar Starfire
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Silmaril

First Gandalf Pic-

Gandy: I am a seagull!

Second-

Gandy: *trips over robe*

Aragorn: *laughs*
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Old 06-15-2004, 08:49 PM   #2876
Esgallhugwen
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White Tree

Gandalf: Ho Ho Ho
Aragorn: Why does he always have to play into the Santa thing whenever little kids are around?
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Old 06-16-2004, 09:09 PM   #2877
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Gandalf: " You stabbed me! Why!

Aragorn: "Because you started filling everyone's heads with this 'Heir to the Throne of Gondor' nonsense, and now I have to be crowned King AND their making me wash my hair for the ceremony!"


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Old 06-17-2004, 04:53 AM   #2878
Quirkette
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Silmaril

Gandalf: That Pippin is such a fool!

Aragorn: Oh come on, you don't really mean that!

Gandalf: No really, all the stupid things he's done since he...snort..since he joined us...

Aragorn: Oh come on, he's just a little naive, that's all.

Gandalf: Naive! He's such a FOOL! Remember when he said...gasp...when he said back in Rivendale?

A and G: "So where are we going?" (Both burst out laughing)

Aragorn: That's nothing. You should heard him when I said we didn't have time for...snort...for another breakfast!

Gandalf: Aw, stop, I'll wet myself!
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Old 06-17-2004, 02:43 PM   #2879
Arwen Evenstar
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Pipe

First Gandalf pic

(Titanic scene)

Gandy: I`m flying, Aragorn! I`m flying!

Second Gandalf pic

Gandalf: (moaning) Aragorn! I`m warning you don`t eat the soup!
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Old 06-21-2004, 02:38 PM   #2880
Morsul the Dark
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Morsul the Dark has been trapped in the Barrow!
Gandalf: Wow is that Arwen's window?!
Aragorn: Yep
G: no wonder your always happy
A: Yep!
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