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Old 05-04-2002, 10:35 PM   #1
Merendis
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Sting Merendis's list of misused homophones

Apart from the normal most annoying misused homophones (bye/by, their/there
, you're/your) that are found daily on the chat, there are several misused homophones that change the meaning of a sentence and often make it humorous. Here is a list of some of my favorites

1.Manwe would rain over arda
2.Burn someone at a steak
3.That was when my hair was died
4.I'm an Honor Role Student
5. no legolas was aloud to come
6.Yes, Im the forth one.(in response
to "are you a powderpuff girl?")
7.It makes no since what so ever
8. Hippo Birdie Two Ewes, Hippo Birdie Two Ewes, Hippo Birdie Deer Kate, Hippo Birdie
9. You can't sow us a banner, can you?
10. I hate egg roles

A special thanks to the one who started it all and contributed two to the list, you're a stud.....or should i say, your a stud?

[ May 19, 2002: Message edited by: Merendis ]

[ May 22, 2002: Message edited by: Merendis ]
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Merendis Mthe Mmariner's Mwife

Riding one day in the forest of the Westlands he saw a woman, whose dark hair flowed in the wind, and about her was a green cloak...and he knew her for Erendis...then suddenly he knew in himself the love that he bore her, and he felt the emptiness of his days.
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Old 05-08-2002, 05:58 PM   #2
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I aim to please Merendis. [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

You awl no your glad that you don't type like me, but bear with me, because sometimes I am write!

*guffaws*
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Old 06-10-2002, 06:25 AM   #3
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Estelyn Telcontar is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.Estelyn Telcontar is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.
Silmaril

Here is some rather dubious praise of one of our revered site ops:

"Sharkey never seizes to amaze me."
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'Mercy!' cried Gandalf. 'If the giving of information is to be the cure of your inquisitiveness, I shall spend all the rest of my days in answering you. What more do you want to know?' 'The whole history of Middle-earth...'
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Old 06-10-2002, 01:27 PM   #4
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<Makaila> ILL BE AT HMOME IN A PHEW SECS!

[ June 10, 2002: Message edited by: burrahobbit ]
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Old 06-10-2002, 03:54 PM   #5
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* Alkaldaiel knocks on merrys door "is your house for sail?"
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Merendis Mthe Mmariner's Mwife

Riding one day in the forest of the Westlands he saw a woman, whose dark hair flowed in the wind, and about her was a green cloak...and he knew her for Erendis...then suddenly he knew in himself the love that he bore her, and he felt the emptiness of his days.
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Old 06-10-2002, 06:12 PM   #6
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Sting

This is great;

Where's the light?

Where's the lite?


That gotta be my favorite right there.


Tis one's pretty good;

I have might!

I have mites!
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Old 06-11-2002, 12:32 AM   #7
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Silmaril

I love this one:
A person describes her/himself as "bareable"!! [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]
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'Mercy!' cried Gandalf. 'If the giving of information is to be the cure of your inquisitiveness, I shall spend all the rest of my days in answering you. What more do you want to know?' 'The whole history of Middle-earth...'
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Old 06-11-2002, 05:42 PM   #8
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<font color="#ff00ff" face="arial">You inspired me:

Don't walk around with bare feet, you could hurt yourself.

Don't walk around with bear feet, you might step on the cat.

[ June 11, 2002: Message edited by: Gimli Son Of Gloin ]

[ June 11, 2002: Message edited by: Gimli Son Of Gloin ]
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Old 06-12-2002, 05:47 PM   #9
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I want to download the whole oh brother where art though soundtrack
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Merendis Mthe Mmariner's Mwife

Riding one day in the forest of the Westlands he saw a woman, whose dark hair flowed in the wind, and about her was a green cloak...and he knew her for Erendis...then suddenly he knew in himself the love that he bore her, and he felt the emptiness of his days.
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Old 06-30-2002, 05:32 PM   #10
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"us level 1 subordinates cannot undue "
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Merendis Mthe Mmariner's Mwife

Riding one day in the forest of the Westlands he saw a woman, whose dark hair flowed in the wind, and about her was a green cloak...and he knew her for Erendis...then suddenly he knew in himself the love that he bore her, and he felt the emptiness of his days.
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Old 07-28-2002, 01:11 AM   #11
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&lt;Maltataliel&gt; dont cri Arinya, hi!
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Old 07-28-2002, 02:04 AM   #12
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Silmaril

. . . . .

Sorry... I just know a lot of people who misspell things often, so I... Agh, I don't know how to say it without sounding preachy... I know misspellings are annoying (because they are, after a time..), but isn't the conversation value more important than the spelling?

(Is bombarded with responses verifying that these people typically say things along the lines of, "LeGoLaS, u R so HOT!!!!")

All right, all right, point taken... @___@
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Merry shrugged his shoulders. “It could be a love triangle. Like about a week ago, I was in love with Angela AND Estella, but then I decided to break it off with Angela…” He sighed dreamily, but Pippin lifted an eyebrow. “Angela thought your name was Timothy,” he pointed out innocently, and Merry glared at him. “It could happen to anybody…” - Excerpt from my "Three Blind Spies" story (see fanfic section)
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Old 07-28-2002, 07:48 PM   #13
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Silmaril

Talking Hawk, the point is, it's funny! Lets see if I can think of any.

Luke at that! That is won grate bearow-downs tee shirt.
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Old 07-29-2002, 05:06 PM   #14
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Estelyn Telcontar is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.Estelyn Telcontar is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.
Silmaril

Here are two homophones that showed up on forum posts:

I'm too sexy for my close.

Suddenly M____ uddered a strange word.

[img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]
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Old 08-05-2002, 03:49 PM   #15
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&lt;Aragorn_Isildur&gt; Ala|OSH, your a real star...
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Old 08-06-2002, 04:57 PM   #16
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Silmaril

some more...

knew you wood
Whoa is me
someone should right a story...
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'Mercy!' cried Gandalf. 'If the giving of information is to be the cure of your inquisitiveness, I shall spend all the rest of my days in answering you. What more do you want to know?' 'The whole history of Middle-earth...'
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Old 08-07-2002, 01:15 PM   #17
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&lt;{Legolas}&gt; I do ride bear back
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Old 08-07-2002, 04:52 PM   #18
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Silmaril

Frodo: I will take the ring to Mordor! Though... I do not know the weigh.

Beren: For little price do Elven-kings sell their daughters; for gyms, and things made by craft.
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.................William Wordsworth
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Old 08-07-2002, 08:55 PM   #19
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&lt;Pippin&gt; i'm gona be bissy, if any one cares
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Old 08-08-2002, 07:00 AM   #20
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Sting

Reminds me of the Molesworth books by Geoffrey Willans and Ronald Searle:

Quote:
A chiz is a swiz or a swindle as any fule kno
Quote:
This is grabber who is head of the skool captane of everything and winner of the mrs joyful prize for rafia work. His pater is very rich and hav a super rolls (hem hem)
Quote:
this is gillibrand on the high diving board...his pater is a general so he is not very brany
Not that there are any misused homophones in there, but they're funny nonetheless.

Come to think of it, when I was sixteen and studying for my 'A' levels, my English Literature teacher had to explain to the entire class the difference between "it's" and "its". Most of the essays that she'd just marked had mixed up the two, which was hardly surprising, since no-one had seen fit to tell us about it before. Another triumph for the Ministry of Edukashun.
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Old 08-08-2002, 01:57 PM   #21
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Silmaril

Those were in a BOOK??! [img]smilies/eek.gif[/img]
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.................William Wordsworth
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Old 08-08-2002, 03:16 PM   #22
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Quote:
Those were in a BOOK??!
Down With Skool, by Geoffrey Willans; illustrations by Ronald Searle. The mis-spellings are intentional, as the dreadful saga of St. Custard's, which includes the dark epic The Revolt of the Prunes, is related by the prep-school anti-hero, Nigel Molesworth. The author was a former schoolmaster.

Another classic, this time from Back in the Jug Agane, is:
Quote:
i draw a collossal Angle A and make it equal to Angle B. Gloat. Gloat. Wot does it matter if it is half the size? pythagoras could make an elephant equal to a flea...
[ August 08, 2002: Message edited by: Squatter of Amon Rudh ]
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Old 08-09-2002, 02:51 PM   #23
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woe peeple axuly rite leyek that. thates's' weerd.
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Old 08-09-2002, 03:13 PM   #24
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Silmaril

yeah, thast's rily weerd.

Okay, this isn't a homophone, but it's close enough:

Me- "She wetted the rag..." Wetted is not a word, right?
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Old 08-09-2002, 03:35 PM   #25
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Quote:
Me- "She wetted the rag..." Wetted is not a word, right?
Sorry if I've missed the point (it occurs that you may already have realised the following), but yes, 'wetted' is a word. So's 'whetted', for that matter.

Quote:
woe peeple axuly rite leyek that. thates's' weerd.
It's done for comic effect. Since I laughed like a drain throughout the books it must have worked.
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Old 08-09-2002, 06:06 PM   #26
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*chubby runs to kates secret layer

&lt;Legolas_me&gt; Because i have to deliver the wring
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Old 08-09-2002, 07:50 PM   #27
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Quote:
Sorry if I've missed the point (it occurs that you may already have realised the following), but yes, 'wetted' is a word. So's 'whetted', for that matter.
I knew about 'whetted,' but I always thought the past tense of 'wet' was just 'wet.' Like, "so-and-so wet the bed..." sorry to use that example, but it's all I could think of.
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Old 08-10-2002, 07:22 AM   #28
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It's a rare usage. Look here for more details.
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Old 08-11-2002, 08:06 PM   #29
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I get really annoyed when people say alot instead of a lot.
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Old 08-12-2002, 09:56 AM   #30
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Pipe

No lie, at about 4am the other morning -

"I luked for the Star Wars pic, but couldn't find it"
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Old 08-14-2002, 04:06 PM   #31
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"ill be your best friend if you do"

Now there's an offer no-one could refuse.
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Old 08-14-2002, 04:14 PM   #32
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Silmaril

Stephanos, that's hilarious! BTW, and don't strangle me, why is your screenname now Rimbaud?

*Sigh* The blessfully ingerant beeings who type these things...
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Old 08-15-2002, 06:22 PM   #33
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<Pippin> DO THE PEANUT BETTER JELLY WITH A BACE BALL BAT

<Anoronwen> Prouncing ponny?

Lhunithil kisses Legless 'Rest in piece and blah-blah-blah'

<Lhunithil> i can listen hole day to Metallica
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Old 08-15-2002, 07:29 PM   #34
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*points out she mentioned in the chat about putting that rest in piece here...*

Anyhow- can't remember who said this one:

'Why is the White Bot never on?'
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Old 08-17-2002, 12:25 PM   #35
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&lt;burrahobbit&gt; im glad their not here
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Old 08-17-2002, 02:55 PM   #36
Estelyn Telcontar
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Silmaril

Here are a couple of gems from the forum:

I'm rather knew to this.

A Hobbit lasses tail.
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Old 08-19-2002, 09:13 PM   #37
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Silmaril

This is probably more of a spelling error..but hey [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

*Lomelindi huggles her book she barrowed (borrowed) from her neighbor

Hehe a real B-Der [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]
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Old 08-19-2002, 10:16 PM   #38
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Silmaril

Haha! Esty, I saw the tail one... hee!

I wish I could think of some that I've seen around lately...

oh, okay, here's one from my friend:

"I love u Chad (Chad= another friend... inside joke) and ill see u at the fare."
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Old 08-21-2002, 06:07 PM   #39
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&lt;Mith&gt; there's a fowl voice in the air
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Old 08-21-2002, 06:19 PM   #40
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How much would could a would chuck chuck if a would chuck could chuck would
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