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Old 12-06-2009, 11:55 PM   #13441
Loslote
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Restaurant owner: No face, no soul, no service.

OR:

*two minutes earlier* Nazgul: And for my third wish, fairy godmother, I want - Random person: That's it, I'm calling Security!
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Old 12-07-2009, 12:09 AM   #13442
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Cop: No ticket.
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Old 12-07-2009, 12:14 AM   #13443
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Cops: Sir please come with us.

Nazgul: I would like a double cheeseburger with some of Aragorn's hair on the side.

Cops: Sir come with us now or we will have to use force.

Nazgul: Also add in some Peter Jackson brains with a side of movie elf.

The cops then drag the Nazgul away for ordering nonsense from a parked car.
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Old 12-07-2009, 04:34 AM   #13444
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Police arrest suspect over attempted jewellery store robbery.
Or
The Nazgul was sentenced to five-hundred hours of community service and fined two thousand silver pieces after pleading guilty to -Five counts of flying on a fell beast while under the influence -two counts of public indecency and -one count of misuse of a Morgul blade.
Or
Nazgul arrested after breaching a restraining order held against him by Mr. Baggins
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Old 12-07-2009, 06:10 AM   #13445
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Inziladun is a guest of Galadriel in Lothlˇrien.Inziladun is a guest of Galadriel in Lothlˇrien.Inziladun is a guest of Galadriel in Lothlˇrien.Inziladun is a guest of Galadriel in Lothlˇrien.Inziladun is a guest of Galadriel in Lothlˇrien.
Nazgűl: 'No, no! To Mordor you will take me!'
Officer: 'Nice try, pal. Everyone knows Mordor's a country club prison. You're going to Lˇrien to do Community Service as Groundskeeper.'
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Old 12-07-2009, 01:52 PM   #13446
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The Nazgul's "black breath" is ancient speech for the breath of a really drunk Nazgul

Cop: Your BAC was 19 times the legal limit! It's a miracle you're not dead.

Nazgul: *hic* Now there's irony for you! *hic*
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Old 12-07-2009, 02:58 PM   #13447
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Thumbs up

Nazgul: Look over there!

Police1: We're not falling for that one again!

Police2: Yeah, your 8 friends might have got away with it. But, fool me seven times or whatever...

OR

Police man left: Look, your novelty watch doesn't even tell the time. And it's big and impractical!

Police man right: Awww! But's its SO COOL!
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Old 12-07-2009, 04:17 PM   #13448
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Thumbs up

The winner so far is Loslote, with:

"No face, no soul, no service."

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Old 12-11-2009, 08:37 PM   #13449
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Nazgul: Before you haul me off, roll the new pic!



Pippin's most important contribution to the War of the Ring...being Merry's pillow.
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Old 12-11-2009, 08:41 PM   #13450
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Pippin: Hey, look, Merry! It's Santa!

Merry: No, silly, it's Dumbledore!

Gandalf: Who spiked the punch?!
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Old 12-11-2009, 08:46 PM   #13451
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Inziladun is a guest of Galadriel in Lothlˇrien.Inziladun is a guest of Galadriel in Lothlˇrien.Inziladun is a guest of Galadriel in Lothlˇrien.Inziladun is a guest of Galadriel in Lothlˇrien.Inziladun is a guest of Galadriel in Lothlˇrien.
Merry discreetly tried to warn Pippin of the Boa Constrictor round his neck.
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Old 12-12-2009, 12:34 PM   #13452
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Pippin wins the Ale vs Weed Halucination Contest whilst squinting at Gandalf the Pink on his Big Pink Pig
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Old 12-12-2009, 01:36 PM   #13453
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Merry to Pippin: "Wow, way to go, Pip. I see
not everything about hobbits is half man-size!"
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Walking To Rivendell and beyond 12,555 miles passed Nt./Day 5: Pass the beacon on Nardol, the 'Fire Hill.'
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Old 12-12-2009, 02:01 PM   #13454
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Thumbs up

Pippin was slowly coming around to the fact that Merry wasn't, after all, a qualified doctor.

Pippin: You said you were listening to my heart beat...

Merry: Um... Hobbit hearts are in the shoulder?
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Old 01-08-2010, 10:00 PM   #13455
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Pipe Ahhhh, it's been too long :D

Being under the influence helped Merry and Pippin handle the ghastly sight of Gandalf...UNCLOAKED!!
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Old 01-08-2010, 10:53 PM   #13456
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Merry drunkenly tries to sneak a taste of Pippin's pipe.
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Old 01-09-2010, 09:09 AM   #13457
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E÷nwŰ is a guest of Elrond in Rivendell.E÷nwŰ is a guest of Elrond in Rivendell.E÷nwŰ is a guest of Elrond in Rivendell.
Pippin tries to do his warg impression.
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Old 01-09-2010, 09:40 AM   #13458
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Shield

We've all done it: drink, smoke, end up lost in an underground Dwarven mine. You're not young forever.
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Old 01-09-2010, 07:01 PM   #13459
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Merry and Pippin was so drunk that they did not notice "Sketchy Hand" running off with the pipe.
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Old 01-09-2010, 07:06 PM   #13460
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Merry and Pippin also attended Bostonmoot.
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Comme une Útoile amarante Comme un papillon de nuit C'est la lumiŔre qui m'attire La flamme qui m'Úblouit
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Old 01-10-2010, 12:27 PM   #13461
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Pipe

There's never a wrong time for quoting The Princess Bride, & when you're half-baked it might actually be one of the best times do so...

Pippin: "Mawwaige...Mawwaige is what bwings us togethew today..."
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Old 01-10-2010, 07:23 PM   #13462
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Sorry . . .

but it has to be done.

Pippin: "I don't care how much you smoke, Merry, nor how much I drink. The image of Gandalf uncloaking is burned into my mind forever."

Merry: "I think I'm going to be ill. By the way, whose hand is that?"
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Old 01-10-2010, 07:29 PM   #13463
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Merry: I think we need a new picture.

Pippin: Oh, I don't know. I like this one. I'm in it.

Me: Too bad, Pippin.

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Old 01-10-2010, 07:32 PM   #13464
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Thumbs up

The Witch King refused to acknowledge the fact that he'd picked up a torch instead of a sword.

OR

WK: OH! ME SIR! ME SIR! I KNOW! I KNOW! I KNOW!!
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THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

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Old 01-10-2010, 07:33 PM   #13465
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Nazgul: My fire sword is better then yours!!
or

The upgraded lightsaber of fire!

or

Nazgul: The Shire's this way!!

Other Nazgul: Uh...no...that's up....

Nazgul: I knew I shouldn't have had those Brownies that were especially made in the South Farthing.....next time we order from Isengard!! Ooooo!! Look!! Butterfly!!
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Old 01-10-2010, 07:37 PM   #13466
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Nazgul: This is demeaning!

Sauron: Nonsense! The Lady of Liberty is honored.

Nazgul: Lady?? Of Liberty??? Why me? Faramir would make much more sense...
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Old 01-10-2010, 08:11 PM   #13467
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The forces of Evil could never, ever create anything new, only produce pale mockeries.... even of national symbols. You knew things were bad when Sauron erected a "Statue of Liberty" in Nurnen harbour.
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Old 01-10-2010, 08:26 PM   #13468
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DM: "YOU CAN'T USE A LIGHTSABER! IT'S NOT EVEN THE RIGHT SYSTEM!!"

WK's player: "I see no light saber. That would be a copyright infringement. I see a psionic spear-blade."
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Old 01-10-2010, 08:27 PM   #13469
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Inziladun is a guest of Galadriel in Lothlˇrien.Inziladun is a guest of Galadriel in Lothlˇrien.Inziladun is a guest of Galadriel in Lothlˇrien.Inziladun is a guest of Galadriel in Lothlˇrien.Inziladun is a guest of Galadriel in Lothlˇrien.
His lord Sauron was jealous, so the Witch-king vowed this would be his last advertising spot for Greyhame's Goodenough Goblin-sparklers.
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Old 01-10-2010, 08:35 PM   #13470
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Sting

For some reason, The Witch King's candy floss just wasn't selling.

OR

WK: What was that thing Sauron said about putting your finger in a plug socket? I think it was DO IT. So I'll just AAAAAAGH!!!

OR EVEN...

WK: Who did this to my sword? Is this your idea of a joke? These things aren't cheap, y'know!
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Old 01-10-2010, 08:39 PM   #13471
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WK: Hey, Ben Franklin did it!

Sauron: That was with a kite. And it didn't go so well for him, either.

WK: Well, this is Middle Earth, so I'm sure it'll be --

Sauron: Even worse?

WK: Yup.
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Old 01-11-2010, 12:47 PM   #13472
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Wow! These Ronson lighters are cool.
Now if someone would just invent cigarettes or cigars
instead of those hobbit pipes.
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Walking To Rivendell and beyond 12,555 miles passed Nt./Day 5: Pass the beacon on Nardol, the 'Fire Hill.'
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Old 01-12-2010, 06:58 PM   #13473
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Anchorman: Today, we've switched out the Witch King of Angmar's regular decaf blend of coffee with Ork brand Red Kafeen Kristuls! Let's see if he notices.

WK: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUHG!
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Old 01-17-2010, 06:17 PM   #13474
Parmastahir
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Parmastahir has just left Hobbiton.
Camping out on Mt. Doom

WK: "Crap!"

Tries again.

WK: "Double CRAP!!"

Tries a final time.

WK: "I GIVE UP!!! Someone make me a s'more!!!!"
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Old 01-19-2010, 06:35 AM   #13475
Rune Son of Bjarne
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Originally "Lord of the Rings" took place during the Olympics.
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Old 01-20-2010, 09:06 PM   #13476
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Dark-Eye

The tenth Slipknot member.
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Old 02-21-2010, 10:32 PM   #13477
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WK: Noooooooooooooo!!!! I will burn you all before another picture is put up!!




The ORIGINAL cast of "Lost"
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Old 02-21-2010, 10:48 PM   #13478
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Inziladun is a guest of Galadriel in Lothlˇrien.Inziladun is a guest of Galadriel in Lothlˇrien.Inziladun is a guest of Galadriel in Lothlˇrien.Inziladun is a guest of Galadriel in Lothlˇrien.Inziladun is a guest of Galadriel in Lothlˇrien.
Sam: 'That's right Mr. Frodo! We'll give them singing chipmunks what for!'
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Old 02-22-2010, 12:04 AM   #13479
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Frodo: Why didn't anyone tell me my hair looked like that??
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Old 02-22-2010, 03:39 PM   #13480
E÷nwŰ
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E÷nwŰ is a guest of Elrond in Rivendell.E÷nwŰ is a guest of Elrond in Rivendell.E÷nwŰ is a guest of Elrond in Rivendell.
The obligatory

To the Hobbits' dismay, Gandalf uncloaks yet again.
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