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Old 01-24-2003, 02:43 PM   #1
Coral
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Sting 50 Reasons LOTR sucks

50 Reasons LOTR Sucks!! Read if you dare! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
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Old 01-24-2003, 02:50 PM   #2
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Sting

That was ok light humour.
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Old 01-24-2003, 03:30 PM   #3
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that was okay. but obviosly the people who wrote that didn't do any research b/c half of those things can be explained from reading the books.
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Old 01-24-2003, 03:34 PM   #4
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I personally think that those people aren't even literate [img]smilies/mad.gif[/img]
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Old 01-24-2003, 04:49 PM   #5
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That's only funny because these people obviously haven't read the books or even watched the movie particularly well. Especially the Homage or Thefts...hello? Could it be vice-versa? I wonder if these people even know there's a book.

::stares at computer screen for a moment, then begins to laugh, choke, and retch at the same time.::

I...I quote:

Quote:
As bad as the Lucasfilm leaks were last year, the filmmakers of The Two Towers already have the novelization out in paperback. I've seen it at Barnes & Noble already. As if we needed any less of a reason to go see it.
That has got to be the most ridiculous, funniest, and most sickening thing I've read in a while. These people don't have all their oars in the water. I pity them. Sort of.

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Old 01-24-2003, 05:10 PM   #6
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That's possibly the least informed list I've ever read in my life. I almost pity those guys. Almost.

But then, what's the point of people like that, except to entertain? [img]smilies/tongue.gif[/img]
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Old 01-24-2003, 05:12 PM   #7
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Do they even know that it was based on a book???
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Old 01-24-2003, 06:38 PM   #8
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Just stupid. These are incredibly stupid reasons. Anyone who has read the books or seen the movie would know better.

Quote:
#12, return of the living dead

Frodo and co. are stabbed by the Ringwraiths, then are fine again.
If the person who watched this paid any attention to the movie, they would notice that the Ringwraiths stabbed PILLOWS. Hmph. Sorry that I am being rather hostile about this, but HONESTLY people.

(Don't get md at me, PLEASE.)

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Old 01-24-2003, 08:44 PM   #9
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Oh god, Your taking it seriously? It was a joke, I can't believe you don't get that [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]
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Old 01-24-2003, 09:00 PM   #10
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* breathes deep, will not get mad in the mayham section,will not get mad in the mayham section, ok, i'm fine* [img]smilies/cool.gif[/img]

about the whole racist thing, I was was listening to the two towers being read ( no, I'm not illiterate) and I realized Tolkien did hint about blacks in his books, they came with the oliphant.
* reads apology and feels slightly better*
there's more I could lecture on of course, but you all already know it, so I'll spare you [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

[ January 24, 2003: Message edited by: Maylin ]
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Old 01-24-2003, 09:23 PM   #11
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Pipe

I haven't read them all. I honestly couldn't be bothered after the first few, since they are quite dreadful.

Quote:
Oh god, Your taking it seriously? It was a joke, I can't believe you don't get that
Yes, I thought that after reading the one about the Hobbits being alive after the Ringwraiths supposedly stabbed them in Bree. After all, that must be a joke ... unless the people who posted this were totally lacking in the brain department ...

But then it's not really a joke to accuse the filmmakers of racsim (or to do so in a pathetic attempt to make a joke), is it? [img]smilies/frown.gif[/img]
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Old 01-24-2003, 09:34 PM   #12
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Aw, geez, Saucepan Man, I thought it was hilarious (so very obviously tongue-in-cheek that it's quite comical that so many took it seriously which compounded the joke for me) until you said that. Now I feel all guilty. You're right, of course. Racism is not a joking matter and I feel bad that I didn't even notice it until you pointed it out.

Now that you've effectively rained on my parade, you're not going to tell me that hobbits aren't real, are you? [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]
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Old 01-25-2003, 06:36 AM   #13
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Sting

I too am surprised at how many people did not realise it was a joke. Whoever wrote it probably likes The Lord of the Rings, at least a little bit.
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Old 01-25-2003, 07:09 AM   #14
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Sting

Or not. Read the "Apology" at the end. Even then he is putting it down.

Personnaly, I thought that the bit about the Fellowship never going to the loo was wonderful. i had always wondered at this myself. Would Legolas stand for going behind a bush? [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

However, this ---> [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img] <--- is my overall impression of that artical, though perhaps with a little of this ---> [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] <--- and a little of this ---> [img]smilies/eek.gif[/img] <---.

I to pity them.

Also, I think that though racism is a very serious topic, it was whoever wrote that, the critics, that bring it up. They make the racism, not Tolkien or Peter Jackson.

Like the idea of Hobbits stepping in cowpats!

[ January 25, 2003: Message edited by: eleanor_niphredil ]
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Old 01-25-2003, 07:24 AM   #15
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Sting

i take it the writer hasnt actually heard of tolkien.

*fumes for a few weeks*

i lost count of the number of times i yelled and swore at the writer during reading [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

especially the outrageous presumption that peter stole practically the whole movie from a bunch of 80's movies, when the book was brought out about 30 years earlier.

oh, and the elrond thing? considering hugo weaving played both him and agent smith, im not at all surprised that there are similarities

and one last thing: Liv Tyler played ARWEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! learn.
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Old 01-25-2003, 07:31 AM   #16
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oh, and uh... interesting review of The Two Towers.
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Old 01-25-2003, 07:54 AM   #17
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*Wiping tears from my eyes* Oh, I'm dying. That was absolutely hilarious. I haven't laughed that hard in ages. Granted, some of them didn't work if you had watched the movies more than a few times or read the books once, but still.

Quote:
Liv Tyler's character is shown holding off nine supernatural beings, even though she is clearly a woman
How can you take it seriously after reading that?

I thought it was hilarious, and piled up into one pile all the ridiculous criticisms of any good movie I've ever heard. (while adding just enough of the absurd to make sure it is taken as a joke) And I like his "apology"

Quote:
...I have an Associate Degree, so my opinion is worth more than yours. I'm sorry if this offends you, but it is simply a fact of life
How many times have you heard this (maybe in different words) spewing from the mouth of some self-important jerk who (apparently) spent his college years drunk and insensate on his dorm room floor? I know I've heard it a time or two.

Gentle readers, please do not get upset at this article. It is merely a joke, and should be taken as such. This is a parody of all the self-important people who criticise a thing before taking the time to understand it. It is all the more potent because it comes from such a masterwork as LotR.
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Old 01-25-2003, 08:15 AM   #18
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Silmaril

i thought some bits of it were moderately funny. what made me laugh though, was people taking it seriously!
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Old 01-25-2003, 08:18 AM   #19
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Quote:
Millions of copies of the LOTR DVD have thick black bars at the bottom and top of the screen throughout the film. Didn't anyone catch this? You know what happens at the end, in the extreme foreground and extreme upper sky? Neither do I. Bush league, guys.
Obviously a joke, or I thought so anyway. He's making fun of widescreen format for Pete's sake! [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]
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Old 01-25-2003, 08:44 AM   #20
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Sting

I like the cowpats and the Loo one, nothing else. The Two Towers review was weak from my point of view also.
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Old 01-25-2003, 08:58 AM   #21
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Okay this has to end,

Quote:
Greed.

Hollywood can't make a movie these days without crapping out a sequel the next year to squeeze more money out of the sheep. Guess what; there's ANOTHER LOTR movie coming this Christmas. Gee, I wonder what will bring Rocky out of retirement this time?
Well I did not took him serious afther this one.

Quote:
Speaking of Orcs...

The Orcs were obviously stolen from PC game maker Blizzard and its Warcraft series. Too bad Blizzard is apparently too scared to sue New Line over it.
I know this serie of games, but the races are actualy a rip of from Tolkien and Warhammer, so who's ripping of who?

I could post many more, but that would drive me insane.

Greetings,

Anuion
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Old 01-25-2003, 09:10 AM   #22
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dear peaceloving fellow's,

Would it be possible if Little old me would get the e-mail adres of this nice fellow so I could kindly [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img] .................................................. ...................................KCIK THE CRAP OUT OF HIS SORRY *** ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

[img]smilies/mad.gif[/img]

Greetings,

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Old 01-25-2003, 10:11 AM   #23
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I get angry when I read crap like this. I think that the people who wrote it know very well what they are writing about but they just want to get attention. One can't be so stupid to think stuff like they do.
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Old 01-25-2003, 10:31 AM   #24
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!!!!READ BEFORE YOU POST!!!!

You know, every one of you people who are angrily posting that this "reviewer" doesn't know what he's talking about are guilty of the very same thing. You have very obviously only skimmed the "review" or came immediately back here to reply before you finished reading it.

This was a JOKE. Say it with me, folks. JOKE. The fact that you're taking it so seriously is only provong the point of the person who wrote it. I found it funny at first that so many took it seriously - now you're just making me sad.

Coral - did you ever think you were going to start something so controversial when you posted that link? Who knew sharing something comical would lead to such uninformed anger? Sheesh!
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Old 01-25-2003, 11:26 AM   #25
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joke

hardy har har
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'The Hobbit' 1st impressions: 1. Thorin is hot... Oh god, I fancy a dwarf. 2. Thranduil is hotter. 3. Is that... Figwit! 4. Does Elijah Wood never age?
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Old 01-25-2003, 11:32 AM   #26
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Sting

You have to admit though, it's not completly obvious, well, it wasn't to me, it only slowly dawned on me once I realised how lightly the rest of you were taking it. I, unfortunately, can't read sarcasm.
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Old 01-25-2003, 11:33 AM   #27
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Sting

Homage or Rip-off:

What's the name of George Lucas' green moon with the weird teddy bears in 'Return of the Jedi'? If you answered Endor, you are correct! Have a complimentary mint for a prize...

And now, for three mints...what's the Quenya word for Middle-earth? If you said Endor, you are right again!

Hmmm...in-ter-est-ing
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Old 01-25-2003, 12:14 PM   #28
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Silmaril

Even if it wasnt a joke i still find it funny, espesially:
Quote:
Liv Tyler's immortal elf volunteers to give up her eternal life for a single romance with a human man. Could any man really be that well endowed? I find it unlikely.
but, some of them were annoying. I hope it was a joke,if it wasnt, poor guy, he is gonna be skinned alive! Does anyone know who wrote this? find out for sure if it is or isnt (because after reading his apologie i myself am not sure), or get him to look at this thread, and have a laugh at us.
[img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]
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Old 01-25-2003, 12:23 PM   #29
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Sting

If you want the dude's email: mailto:davidwong@pointlesswasteoftime.comdavidwong@pointlesswasteoftime.com</A>
And, I started this thread because I knew most of you would take it seriously. Therefore, making me laugh [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] Haha, see?

[ January 25, 2003: Message edited by: Coral ]

[ January 25, 2003: Message edited by: Coral ]
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Old 01-25-2003, 12:29 PM   #30
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ooohhh, that's evil, very very evil. [img]smilies/eek.gif[/img]
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Old 01-25-2003, 02:57 PM   #31
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Sting

More devious than anything. your a born orc, Coral!
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Old 01-25-2003, 03:05 PM   #32
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Wait, this is a joke, right???? They claimed someone was stolen from Harry Potter!!!! NOOOOO!!!!!! INSULT!!!! Never...insult.....Lord of the Rings. Not to mention, LotR was first...

That site was a joke...I hope...
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Old 01-25-2003, 03:18 PM   #33
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I e-mailed the person who owned the site (may have been a mistake though) though I was very polite about it. I actually hope he replies with hate mail, insulting me, and calling me an idiot, because I want to respond "What defines an idiot? I sure don't think a studen in middle school doing AP college physics is the definition." and then go into a nice, confusing explanation of life.

Yes, I am insane, yes, I enjoy hate mail. I pity the poor fellow. For someone who thinnks he is so smart and above the rest of the world, it is sad to know that he hasn't heard of Tolkien...
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Old 01-25-2003, 05:05 PM   #34
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Eye

Wow, if I didn't know that site was a joke, I would be fuming at this quote, not laughing:
Quote:
I guess this movie takes place in a world where rings magically change sizes on their own.
Just for the record, it does.
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Old 01-25-2003, 05:11 PM   #35
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Well, this thread has gone from funny to disturbing.

I have never seen sarcasm drip so heavily from my computer screen. Maybe some unwitting Downers machines' don't have that function.....
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Old 01-25-2003, 05:32 PM   #36
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okay, that was funny/annoying. The one i laughed hardest at was this one:
Quote:
If you watch closely during the Inn scene, Frodo and his crew are shown getting stabbed by the Ring Wraiths. Then, five seconds later, they are fine again. Note to the director: try proofreading your movie before you release it to the public.
HA HA HA!!! I hope that they arent TOO ignorant and that they know what really happened. if not, that is UNBELIEVABLY SAD!!! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]
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Old 01-25-2003, 05:34 PM   #37
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Me EVIL? Nah...*evil grin* If he does e-mail you back, post it here. Should be interesting...but I don't think he would after hundreds of other fans already complained [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]
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Old 01-25-2003, 06:44 PM   #38
Lady Of Light
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I want to hit something really badly. If that was a joke, I'm not laughing. Whoever wrote that ought to realize that:

1: LOTR is a book. A BOOK I TELL YOU!!! THE THING WITH PAGES THAT YOU READ THAT YOU DON'T JUST STARE AT AND THE PLOT IS TOLD AND THERE ARE DEEPER MOTIVATIONS AND.... ok, I'm calm.

2: It has thousands of pages. TTT is not a sequel. It is a continuation of the greatest book of the 20th century.

3: Dwarves are awesome and are by no means expendable.

Thank you, I have said my part. This angered me. ::sigh::
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Old 01-25-2003, 06:59 PM   #39
Blue Elf
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Well, if he responds, his e-mail will probably have the same tone I did. Mock politeness...I'm sure without meaning to, my e-mail dripped with annoyance...

I don't think it was a joke though, no one would have taken it that far.
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Old 01-25-2003, 09:40 PM   #40
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I didn't sense much sarcasm, just ignorance, and I know sarcasm. I am the Queen of Sarcasm. Honestly, the thing about the novelization threw me--if it was a joke, then it went right over my head. I think that he could've made it quite a bit funnier, not to mention that the bit about racism was in very poor taste (not to mention being unoriginal.)

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