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Old 06-19-2018, 11:36 AM   #1
ArcusCalion
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Silmaril Gondor and the Heirs of Anárion

This is the first draft of the chapter Gondor and the Heirs of Anárion.

This chapter is a thoroughly mixed bag of sources, and so there is no base text. Because of this, I have marked every instance of any text used, so as to be easy to follow.

The markings are:
FY-HL-xx for all the headlines for the Fading Years.
GHA-SL-xx for all expansions and changes to the narrative.

Some conventions of my writing:

Bold Text = source information, comments and remarks
{example} = text that should be deleted
[example] = normalized text, normally only used for general changes, as well as changes which are a part of replacement that is not grammatical.
Underlined Text = text changed for grammatical reasons in the process of combining and inserting and removing.
<source example> = additions with source information
...... = This section of the paragraph is unchanged from the source.

Quote:
FY-HL-05 < GONDOR AND THE HEIRS OF ANÁRION>

GHA-SL-01 <Appendix A Atanatar Alcarin son of Hyarmendacil lived in great splendor, so that .... the civil war of the Kin-strife, in which great loss and ruin was caused and never fully repaired.>
GHA-SL-02 <HoME 12: TY4 The western Periannath, now for the most part mingled together, {move}moved westward from the region of Amon Sûl (Weathertop), and {begin}began to make small settlements among the {remnants of the} peoples of the {old} North-kingdom. Their chief settlement was on and about the Hill of Bree.>
GHA-SL-03 <Appendix A It was in the beginning of the reign of Malvegil of Arthedain that evil came to Arnor. For at that time ..... seeing hope in their disunion, while Gondor was strong. GHA-SL-04 <Appendix A [Footnote: After Malvegil, the Kings at Fornost again claimed lordship over the whole of Arnor, and took names with the prefix ar(a) in token of this.]>
In the days of Argeleb son of Malvegil, since no descendants ..... but he was slain in battle with Rhudaur and Angmar.
Arveleg son of Argeleb, with the help of Cardolan and Lindon, ..... It is said that at this time Rivendell was besieged.
A great host came out of Angmar in 1409, and crossing the river ..... or took refuge in the Forest behind.
It is said that Angmar was for a time subdued .... and dwelt beside the Gladden, becoming a riverside people of fishers.> GHA-SL-05 <HoME 12: TY4 Others of the Stoors {move}moved north and west and {join}joined with the Harfoots and Fallohides.>

GHA-SL-06 <Making of Appendix A Narmacil and Calmacil were like their father Atanatar lovers of ease; but Minalcar elder son of Calmacil was a man of great force after the manner of his great-grandsire Hyarmendacil, whom he revered. Already at the end of Atanatar's reign his voice was listened to in the councils of the realm; and in 1240 Narmacil, wishing to be relieved of cares of state, gave him the new office and title of Carma-cundo 'Helm-guardian', that is in terms of Gondor Crown-lieutenant or Regent. Thereafter he was virtually king, though he acted in the names of Narmacil and Calmacil, save in matters of war and defense over which he had complete authority. His reign is thus usually dated from 1240, though he was not crowned in the name of Rómendacil until 1304 after the death of his father.> GHA-SL-07 <Appendix A {Minalcar, son of Calmacil, was a man of great vigor, and in 1240 Narmacil, to rid himself of all cares, made him Regent of the realm. From that time onwards he governed Gondor in the name of the kings until he succeeded his father.} His chief concern was with the Northmen. GHA-SL-08 <Cirion & Eorl These Northmen were descendants of the same race of Men as those who in the First Age passed into the West of Middle-earth and became the allies of the Eldar in their wars with Morgoth. [Footnote: The Northmen appear to have been most nearly akin to the third and greatest of the peoples of the Elf-friends, ruled by the House of Hador.] They were therefore from afar off kinsmen of the Dúnedain or Númenóreans, and there was great friendship between them and the people of Gondor. They were in fact a bulwark of Gondor, keeping its northern and eastern frontiers from invasion; though that was not fully realized by the Kings until the bulwark was weakened and at last destroyed.>
These had increased greatly in the peace brought by the power of Gondor. ...... mostly over the plain between the Inland Sea and the Ash Mountains.
In the days of Narmacil I their attacks began again, ...... He then took the name of Rómendacil.
On his return Rómendacil fortified the west shore of Anduin ...... he took many of them into his service and gave to some high rank in his armies.
Rómendacil showed especial favor to Vidugavia, who had aided ..... and he married Vidumavi, daughter of Vidugavia. It was some years before he returned. GHA-SL-09 <Making of Appendix A Rómendacil gave his consent to the marriage. He could not forbid it or refuse to recognize it without earning the enmity of Vidugavia. Indeed all the Northmen would have been angered, and those in his service would have been no longer to be trusted. He therefore waited in patience until 1260, and then he recalled Valacar, saying that it was now time that he took part in the councils of the realm and the command of its armies. Valacar returned to Gondor with his wife and children; and with them came a household of noble men and women of the North. They were welcomed, and at that time all seemed well. Nonetheless in this marriage lay the seeds of the first great evil that befell Gondor: the civil war of the Kin-strife, which brought loss and ruin upon the realm that was never fully repaired.
Valacar gave to his son the name Eldacar, for public use in Gondor; and his wife bore herself wisely and endeared herself to all those who knew her. She learned well the speech and manners of Gondor, and was willing to be called by the name Galadwen, a rendering of her Northern name into the Sindarin tongue. She was a fair and noble lady of high courage, which she imparted to her children; but though she lived to a great age, as such was reckoned among her people, she died in {1344 [in one copy >} 1332{]}. Then the heart of Rómendacil grew heavy, foreboding the troubles that were to come. He had now long been crowned king, and the end of his reign and life were drawing nearer.> {From this marriage came later the war of the Kin-strife.}
For the high men of Gondor already looked askance at the Northmen among them; .... who though he was now called Eldacar, had been born in an alien country and was named in his youth Vinitharya, GHA-SL-10 <Making of Appendix A [Footnote: This, it is said, bore much the same meaning as Rómendacil.]> a name of his mother's people. GHA-SL-11 <Making of Appendix A 'Vinitharya is his right name,' they said. 'Let him go back to the land where it belongs!'>
Therefore when Eldacar succeeded his father ..... and the palantír was lost in the waters.
But Eldacar eluded his enemies, and came to the North, ..... and of the great havens of Pelargir and Umbar.
Castamir had not long sat upon the throne ...... purposed to remove the king's seat to Pelargir.
Thus he had been king only ten years, when Eldacar, ..... people of the fleets they held out long at Pelargir.
When they had gathered there all the force that they could .... and the region of South Gondor became a debatable land between the Corsairs and the Kings.

The loss of Umbar was grievous to Gondor, not only because ..... and the memorial of his humiliation was thrown down.

After the return of Eldacar the blood of the kingly house .... were replenished by great numbers that came from Rhovanion.
This mingling did not at first hasten the waning ...... king for fifty-eight years, of which ten were spent in exile.[b]>
GHA-SL-12 <HoME 12: TY4 {A}At this time, a host of Periannath migrated from Bree westward, and crossed the River Baranduin (Brandywine). The land beyond, between the Baranduin and Emyn Beraid, had been a demesne of the Kings of Arnor, where they had both chases and rich farms; but they were now untended and falling into wilderness. The king Argeleb II therefore allowed the Periannath to settle there, for they were good husbandmen. They became his subjects in name but were virtually independent and ruled by their own chieftains. Their numbers were swelled by Stoors that came up from southern Eriador and entered the land from the south and dwelt mostly near to the Baranduin. This land the Periannath or Halflings called 'The Shire'. Shire-reckoning began with the crossing of the Baranduin GHA-SL-13 {in this year}.>

The second and greatest evil came upon Gondor ..... Then for weariness and fewness of men the watch on the borders of Mordor ceased and the fortresses that guarded the passes were unmanned. GHA-SL-14 <ORP {the forts on the borders of Mordor were deserted, and} Minas Ithil was emptied of its people; and evil entered again into the Black Land secretly, and the ashes of Gorgoroth were stirred as by a cold wind, for dark shapes gathered there. It is said that these were indeed the Úlairi, whom Sauron called the Nazgûl, the Nine Ringwraiths that had long remained hidden, but returned now to prepare the ways of their Master, for he had begun to grow again.>
Later it was noted that these things happened ..... the opening of Mordor was what he chiefly desired.
When King Telemnar died the White Tree of Minas Anor ..... fled from the plague into Ithilien or to the western dales were willing to return.
Tarondor, coming young to the throne, had the longest reign ..... Gondor Umbar was again lost, and fell into the hands of the Men of the Harad.>
GHA-SL-15 <Appendix A In the days of Argeleb II the plague came into Eriador ...... Rhudaur entered into the deserted mounds and dwelt there.
It is said that the mounds of Tyrn Gorthad, as the Barrowdowns ...... last prince of Cardolan, who fell in the war of 1409.>
GHA-SL-16 <Cirion & Eorl (C&E) The waning of the Northmen of Rhovanion began with the Great Plague, which appeared there in the winter of the year 1635 and soon spread to Gondor. In Gondor the mortality was great especially among those who dwelt in cities. It was greater in Rhovanion, for though its people lived mostly in the open and had no great cities, the Plague came with a cold winter when horses and men were driven into shelter and their low wooden houses and stables were thronged; moreover they were little skilled in the arts of healing and medicine, of which much was still known in Gondor, preserved from the wisdom of Númenor. When the Plague passed it is said that more than half of the foil of Rhovanion had perished, and of their horses also. They were slow to recover; but their weakness was not tested for a long time. No doubt the people further east had been equally afflicted, so that the enemies of Gondor came chiefly from the south or over sea.>

FY-HL-06 The Northmen and the Wainriders

GHA-SL-17 <Appendix A The third evil was the invasion of the Wainriders, which sapped the waning strength of Gondor ..... they made a sudden assault upon Gondor, GHA-SL-18 <C&E and the Northmen bore the brunt of the first assaults. King Narmacil II took a great army north into the plains south of Mirkwood, .... [Footnote: The escape of the army of Gondor from total destruction ..... for the time to compete their conquest of Rhovanion.]
As for the Northmen, a few, it is said, fled over the Celduin ..... Most of the Northmen were reduced to servitude, and all their former lands were occupied by the Wainriders.> {King Narmacil II was slain in battle with them beyond Anduin in 1856.} The people of eastern and southern Rhovanion were enslaved; and the frontiers of Gondor were for that time withdrawn to the Anduin and the Emyn Muil. At this time it is thought that the Ringwraiths re-entered Mordor.>
GHA-SL-20 <C&E
But at length, King Calimehtar, son of Narmacil II, being free from other dangers, ..... ‘Fly east not north, folk of Sauron! See, the homes you stole are in flames!’ For there was a great smoke going up.
The revolt planned and assisted by Marhwini ...... before the great assault in which the line of its kings came near to its end.
Nonetheless the alliance of Calimehtar and Marhwini ...... but for which the return of the King would have been in vain.

In the meanwhile the Wainriders licked their wounds, ..... and an attack was prepared that should be made at the same time from north and south.
Little or nothing, of course, was known of these designs ..... Gondor unprepared, though its strength was less than it needed.
Ondoher was aware that his southern enemies were preparing ...... both of age to bear arms: Artamir the elder, and Faramir some three years younger.
News of the oncoming of the enemy reached Pelargir ..... before in the Battle of the Plains and in the victory of Calimehtar on the Dagorlad.
But it was not so. The Wainriders had mustered a great host ...... and to send word to Minohtar, Captain of the Right Wing behind GHA-SL-21 <based on the end notes and the King’s sister-son>, to cover his left flank as swiftly as he could, when the chariots and horsemen crashed into his disordered line. Of the confusion of the disaster that followed few clear reports were ever brought to Gondor.
Ondoher was utterly unprepared to meet a charge ..... many others westward into the Dead Marshes.
Minohtar took command. He was a man both valiant and warwise. ..... disaster of the Morannon and of the position of the retreating Northern Army.
When the main host of the Wainriders advanced to the attack ...... invasion and occupation of Gondor. If that were so, they were deceived.
The Wainriders came on in little order, still exultant and singing songs ..... Before them it ran on through a deep cutting.>
GHA-SL-22 <C&E Notes on the continuation
{men}Men of the Éothéod fought with Ondoher. {; and also that} Ondoher's second son Faramir was ordered to remain in Minas Tirith as regent, for it was not permitted by the law that both his sons should go into battle at the same time GHA-SL-23 {(a similar observation is made earlier in the narrative, p.305)}. But Faramir did not do so; be went to the war in disguise, and was slain. GHA-SL-24 {The writing is here almost impossible to decipher, but it seems that} Faramir joined the Éothéod and was caught with a party of them as they retreated towards the Dead Marshes. The leader of the Éothéod GHA-SL-25 {(whose name is indecipherable after the first element Marh-)} came to their rescue, but Faramir died in his arms, and it was only when he searched his body that he found tokens that showed that he was the Prince. The leader of the Éothéod then went to join Minohtar at the head of the North Road in Ithilien, who at that very moment was giving an order for a message to be taken to the Prince in Minas Tirith, who was now the King. It was then that the leader of the Éothéod gave him the news that the Prince had gone disguised to the battle, and had been slain.>
GHA-SL-26 <C&E Notes on the continuation
{they}The Wainriders were not long held up by the rearguard defence of Minohtar. {The Wainriders}They poured relentlessly into Ithilien, and late on the thirteenth day of Cermië they overwhelmed Minohtar, who was slain by an arrow. GHA-SL-27 {He is here said to have been King Ondoher's sister-son.} His men carried him out of the fray, and all that remained of the rearguard fled southwards to find Adrahil. The chief commander of the Wainriders then called a halt to the advance, and held a feast.>
GHA-SL-28 <Appendix A
But Eärnil, Captain of the Southern Army, .... who fled before him perished in the Dead Marshes.>
GHA-SL-29 <Appendix A
{Calimehtar, son of Narmacil II, helped by a revolt in Rhovanion, avenged his father with a great victory over the Easterlings upon Dagorlad in 1899, and for a while the peril was averted.} It was in the reign of Araphant in the North and of Ondoher son of Calimehtar in the South that the two kingdoms ..... for Angmar renewed its attack upon Arthedain at the same time as the Wainriders reappeared in great force.>
GHA-SL-30 <Battles of the Fords of Isen (BFI) Appendix (ii)
In ancient days the southern and eastern bounds of the North Kingdom had been the Greyflood; ...... In the days of the Kings it was GHA-SL-31 {part of the realm of Gondor, but it was} of little concern to {them}the realm of Gondor, except for the patrolling .... but less than most, since they dwelt apart and had few dealings with other men.>
FY-HL-05: This headline fits best for this chapter, since the bulk of it is concerned with the three trials of the Kingdom of Gondor: the Kinstrife, the Great Plague, and the Wainrider Invasions.

GHA-SL-01: We start off with Appendix A setting the stage for Gondor in its glory with Atanatar Alcarin's rule.

GHA-SL-02: This from the older draft of the Tale of Years details the movements of the Hobbits westward, and their settling at Bree. This was the only textual version of this I could find, so I think it is worth including. This is also the only place I figured I could place it, since it belongs here chronologically. I updated the tenses to reflect the rest of the chapter.

GHA-SL-03: Here we turn to Arnor breifly. This is the chronological time to discuss this, as we want to allow the entire leadup to, and the duration of the Kinstrife to be a continuous narrative.

GHA-SL-04: This footnote was given during the list of kings, but I thought it was worth including.

GHA-SL-05: One more Tale of Years addition about the movements of the Hobbits.

GHA-SL-06: Here we return to the Gondor narrative. This version from an earlier draft of Appendix A is much much longer and more detailed than the final version, so I used this instead.

GHA-SL-07: We return to Appendix A, removing the much shorter account of which we have just replaced.

GHA-SL-08: This seems like the right place to introduce the Northmen, and the best introduction of them that we have is in the Cirion and Eorl chapter of Unfinished Tales. After that addition, we return to Appendix A.

GHA-SL-09: This is again from an earlier draft of Appendix A. The story of the marriage and Romendacil's thoughts on it are much expanded in this version, and so I decided to use it instead of the final Appendix A account.

GHA-SL-10: This is a tidbit from an earlier draft not given in the final version.

GHA-SL-11: This is also a tidbit not given in the final version.

GHA-SL-12: This addition from the Tale of Years is the only text I could find (apart from some difficult bits in the drafts for Appendix F or the Prologue of LotR) that details the founding of the Shire. Therefore I think this works well here. I placed this here since we need to mention the creation of the Shire before we describe the Great Plague, which mentions it.

GHA-SL-13: Since this is no longer the Tale of Years, I removed this phrase.

GHA-SL-14: This account in Of the Rings of Power has some new details that I thought were worth including.

GHA-SL-15: Here we describe the effect of the Plague on Arnor, and the fall of Cardolan.

GHA-SL-16: Here we take an addition from the Cirion and Eorl chapter of UT in order to describe the effects of the Plague on the Northmen in order to set the stage for the next story.

FY-HL-06: This title is self-explanatory. It fits with the material we were discussing. I used it as a subheading instead of another chapter because I want this chapter to have all three of the evils of Gondor in it, and this one is the last evil, so it makes sense to have it be a subheading under the Gondor chapter.

GHA-SL-17: Here we use Appendix A to introduce us to the narrative as the third evil of Gondor.

GHA-SL-18: This account of the death of Narmacil II is much more detailed than the brief sentence in Appendix A.

GHA-SL-19: Here we return briefly to Appendix A in order to move the narrative forward and mention some small details.

GHA-SL-20: Now we begin the narrative of The Northmen and the Wainriders from the UT chapter Cirion and Eorl.

GHA-SL-21: This addition is based on the endnotes, where it is remarked that Minohtar is the king's sister-son. I could not figure out how to work it into the final paragraph, so I placed the information here at his introduction.

GHA-SL-22: Here we begin to work out the notes on the continuation of the story. Most of my changes are simply to turn CT's commentary into a narrative.

GHA-SL-23: comment of CT removed.

GHA-SL-24: comment of CT removed.

GHA-SL-25: comment of CT removed (it is sad that we have no name for the general, but it cannot be helped).

GHA-SL-26: This is a continuation of the notes.

GHA-SL-27: This was what I based 21 on.

GHA-SL-28: Since the narrative ends before the story finishes, we must return to the much shorter account in Appendix A.

GHA-SL-29: I know this addition belongs chronologically before the Wainrider attack, but I think it fits better afterwards, as we can look back and see the attacks on Arnor and Gondor occurring at the same time. Plus, now that the action is over, we can turn back to more mundane matters.

GHA-SL-30: This addition is from the second appendix to The Battles for the Fords of Isen, and details the ownership of Gondor over the lands near Dunland. This also introduces the Dunlandings into the narrative, which allows us to use them later on without much explanation.

GHA-SL-31: In other places it says that Enedwaith was not owned by anyone, and so I changed this to reflect that.

Another difficult chapter, but I think more straightforward than last one. It's very action-packed, and one of the longer chapters by far. Enjoy!
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Old 06-22-2018, 02:58 PM   #2
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Sorry for the long delay, but real life had some time consuming demands in the last few days.

First of all I have to say that this editing makes a very good read. I agree to most of the editing’s. But as always there are some exceptions, as before often additions:

GHA-SL-08.5: I think that after the end of the long insert of GHA-SL-08 the ‘These’ of the next sentence has lost its proper reference. The text as it stands is understandable, but it does not flow rightly while reading. I suggest to replace it with The Northman.

GHA-SL-11.2 & GHA-SL-11.4: We tell in this chapter (beside other things) the history of the war between the rebels of Umbar and Gondor that followed from the kin-strife. And in this there was in ‘interlude’ with Aldamir slain in battle with Harad and Umbar and Vinyarion gaining himself the name Hyarmendacil II, which I think we should add here:
Quote:
… Eldacar lived to his two hundred and thirty-fifth year, and was king for fifty-eight years, of which ten were spent in exile.>
GHA-SL-11.2<HoME 12: Heirs of Elendil{He}Aldamir was the second son and third child of {Eldakar}[Eldacar].{ His elder brother Ornendil was slain in the wars of the Kin-strife (1446). Aldamir}. In the year 1540 he fell in battle with the rebelling kings of Harad allied with the rebels of Umbar.> GHA-SL-11.4<HoME 12: Heirs of Elendil{He later (1551)}Vinyarion the son of Aldamir took the name {Hyarmendakil}[Hyarmendacil] II in the year 1551, after a great victory over Harad in vengeance for his father.>
GHA-SL-12<HoME 12: TY4 {A}At this time, a host of Periannath …
GHA-SL-13.2: We have a bit more about the raid of the Corsair in which Minardil was slain and I think we should add it (see below for the text).
Beside that I think we can be sure that ‘Minardil, son of Eldacar’ is a slip of the pen. It is nowhere said that Vinyarion (Hyarmendacil II) died childless, while such feature is in all other cases commented on even in the very short Appendix A. For reasons of safety I would simply make no statement here at all.

GHA-SL-16: As Northmen were the first to feel the impact of the plague, (the text says that the plague came out of the east). Which means that it had been first in Rhovanion. Therefore I think this passage must be placed a bit earlier. I know that you used it as a knid of introduction for the Wainraider subchapter, but that does not seem necessary to me, since we have introduce the Northmen already in this chapter and told news about them at some points. I would incorporate it here:
Quote:
The second and greatest evil came upon Gondor in the reign of Telemnar, the twenty-sixth king, whose father Minardil GHA-SL-13.2{, son of Eldacar, }was slain at Pelargir by the Corsairs of Umbar. (GHA-SL-13.4 {They were led by Angamaitë and Sangahyando, the great-grandsons of Castamir.}<HoME 12: Heirs of Elendil The rebels of Umbar had never ceased to make war on Gondor since the death of Kastamir, attacking its ships and raiding its coast at every opportunity. They had however become much mixed in blood through admission of Men of Harad, and only their chieftains, descendants of {Kastamir}[Castamir], were of Númenorean race. Learning through spies that Minardil was at Pelargir, suspecting no peril since the crushing of Harad and Umbar by his father, Angomaitë and {Sangahyanda}[Sangahyando], leaders of the Corsairs of Umbar, great-grandsons of {Kastamir}[Castamir], made a raid up Anduin, slew the king, ravaged Pelargir and the coasts, and escaped with great booty.>) GHA-SL-13.6<HoME 12: Heirs of Elendil Telemnar immediately began to fit out a fleet for the reduction of Umbar.
> Soon after a deadly plague came with dark winds out of the East. GHA-SL-16b<C&E The waning of the Northmen of Rhovanion began with the Great Plague, which appeared there in the winter of the year 1635 and soon spread to Gondor. In Gondor the mortality was great especially among those who dwelt in cities. It was greater in Rhovanion, for though its people lived mostly in the open and had no great cities, the Plague came with a cold winter when horses and men were driven into shelter and their low wooden houses and stables were thronged; moreover they were little skilled in the arts of healing and medicine, of which much was still known in Gondor, preserved from the wisdom of Númenor. When the Plague passed it is said that more than half of the foil of Rhovanion had perished, and of their horses also. They were slow to recover; but their weakness was not tested for a long time. No doubt the people further east had been equally afflicted, so that the enemies of Gondor came chiefly from the south or over sea.
>{The King}In Gondor King Telemnar and all his children died, …
GHA-SL-25: It is unfortunate, that we can within our rules not name Marh-…, since unnamed we tell nothing about him even so the known element of the name makes him a near kin of Marhwini father of Forthwini, so probably a grandson.

GHA-SL-29: Would this not be better placed between the victory of Calimethar and Marhwini and the new assault on Gondor in which Ondoher died? I know that you preferd to have this after the action, but the foretelling for the northern Kingdom is not prevented by your placement and in the new position another attack from the Wainraiders is anyhow expectable.
Quote:
…but for which the return of the King would have been in vain.

GHA-SL-29b<Appendix A {Calimehtar, son of Narmacil II, helped by a revolt in Rhovanion, avenged his father with a great victory over the Easterlings upon Dagorlad in 1899, and for a while the peril was averted.} It was in the reign of Araphant in the North and of Ondoher son of Calimehtar in the South that the two kingdoms again took counsel together after long silence and estrangement. For at last they perceived that some single power and will was directing the assault from many quarters upon the survivors of Númenor. It was at that time that Arvedui heir of Araphant wedded Fíriel daughter of Ondoher (1940). But neither kingdom was able to send help to the other; for Angmar renewed its attack upon Arthedain at the same time as the Wainriders reappeared in great force.>
In the meanwhile the Wainriders licked their wounds, …?
GHA-SL-30: This as well seems a bit out of place. Since it covers the historical background of the Dunlandings in looking back over a greater time frame, I don’t feel the need to place it chronologically absolutely correct. Therefore I would rather use it in combination with the ride of Eorl and the Eótheód coming to Rohan, since at that point the Dunlandings start to play a role in the narrative. Or to look at it in a broader sense: When Gondor gave a part of its territory to someone else it makes a lot of sense to look what sway they had over all the territory they claimed, instead of doing it here without any connection to the surrounding narratives. (Okay, I do not know with what you open the next chapter, but if it has a connection to this, I would have expected that you would use this at the opening of that chapter and not here.)

Respectfully
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Old 06-22-2018, 08:46 PM   #3
ArcusCalion
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No worries Fin, real life must always take precedence!

GHA-SL-08.5: Agreed

GHA-SL-11.2/11.4: Agreed, good finds!

GHA-SL-13.2/13.4/13,6: Agreed, awesome finds! You just missed the first {Kastamir}[Castamir], and also {Angomaitë}[Angamaitë]. I would also remove the parentheses around GHA-SL-13.4. Since we made the addition so much longer, we don't need them.

GHA-SL-16b: Agreed.

GHA-SL-25: I agree, it is very unfortunate. However, there is nothing we can do.

GHA-SL-29b: Agreed, this works fine.

GHA-SL-30: I see what you mean, I've been having similar doubts. I found a better place for it to fit in the chapter The House of Eorl. Therefore I agree to remove it from here.

Thank you for these suggestions Fin, they are all excellent!

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Old 06-23-2018, 10:38 AM   #4
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Reading The Heirs of Elendil for the discussion of the next chapter, I found this addition:
Quote:
When King Telemnar died the White Tree of Minas Anor also withered and died. GHA-SL-14.5<Heires of Elendil {They were descended, father to son, from} Hurin, Steward to King Minardil, {who had }laboured greatly for the ordering of the realm in the disastrous days of the plague, when King Telemnar died within two years of the slaying of King Minardil by the Corsairs. From that time on the kings usually chose their steward from this family, though a son did not necessarily succeed a father.>{But} Tarondor, {his }nephew of King Telemnar, who succeeded him, replanted a seedling in the citadel. ...
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Old 06-23-2018, 11:31 AM   #5
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GHA-SL-14.5: Agreed, once again, great find! I was not as thorough as I thought with my examination of the Heirs of Elendil text clearly!
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Old 07-14-2018, 12:04 AM   #6
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After we decided to add in the bits from the Prologue to LotR about the Finding of the Ring, I think we should take as much of the Prologue as possible. Therefore I have tried to find the best places for all of it to fit. Here is where I placed some of it, in a replacement of GHA-SL-12:
Quote:
GHA-SL-12b LotR Prologue About this time legend among the Hobbits first becomes history with a reckoning of years. For it was in the one thousand six hundred and first year of the Third Age that the Fallohide brothers, Marcho and Blanco, set out from Bree; and having obtained permission from the high king at Fornost, they crossed the brown river Baranduin with a great following of Hobbits. They passed over the Bridge of Stonebows, that had been built in the days of the power of the North Kingdom, and they took all the land beyond to dwell in, between the river and the Far Downs. All that was demanded of them was that they should keep the Great Bridge in repair, and all other bridges and roads, speed the king's messengers, and acknowledge his lordship.
Thus began the Shire-reckoning, for the year of the crossing of the Brandywine (as the Hobbits turned the name) became Year One of the Shire, and all later dates were reckoned from it. At once the western Hobbits fell in love with their new land, and they remained there, and soon passed once more out of the history of Men and of Elves. While there was still a king they were in name his subjects, but they were, in fact, ruled by their own chieftains and meddled not at all with events in the world outside.>
GHA-SL-12.1 <HoME 12: TY4
The land beyond the Brandywine, between the Baranduin and Emyn Beraid, had been a demesne of the Kings of Arnor, where they had both chases and rich farms; but they were now untended and falling into wilderness. The king Argeleb II therefore allowed the Periannath to settle there, for they were good husbandmen. {They became his subjects in name but were virtually independent and ruled by their own chieftains.} Their numbers were swelled by Stoors that came up from southern Eriador and entered the land from the south and dwelt mostly near to the Baranduin.>
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Old 07-15-2018, 08:02 AM   #7
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Agreed, very nicely integrated.

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Old 01-09-2019, 02:41 PM   #8
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I copy this post from gandalf85, because I think this is where it should have been:
Quote:
Originally Posted by gandalf85 View Post
This chapter turned out great. First, some minor grammatical issues:

1) In the paragraph starting "A great host came out of Angmar..." there is a missing period:

Quote:
and the Dúnedain that remained there were slain or fled west Cardolan was ravaged.
There should be a period after "west".

2)
Quote:
He was not only one of those nearest by blood to the crown, but be had the greatest following of all the rebels
"be" should be "he".

3)
Quote:
In such time as he had Minohtar raising his own banner
There is a missing comma before "raising".

4) After GHA-SL-23:

Quote:
be went to the war in disguise, and was slain.
"be" should be "he".

I have a few suggestions/questions:

1) In the paragraph following GHA-SL-08, this is redundant:

Quote:
since they were the nearest in kin of lesser Men to the Dúnedain (being for the most part descendants of those peoples from whom the Edain of old had come)
GHA-SL-08 already establishes the Northmen as Edain and kinsmen of the men of the Dunedain. I propose just removing the section in the quote above. In addition,
in GHA-SL-08 it states that the Northmen "were in fact a bulwark of Gondor, keeping its northern and eastern frontiers from invasion; though that was not fully realized by the Kings until the bulwark was weakened and at last destroyed." The next paragraph says the men of Gondor "gave them wide lands beyond Anduin south of Greenwood the Great, to be a defense against men of the East." This seems contradictory: they were given the lands explicitly to be a defense against men of the East, but it was not realized that they kept the frontiers free from invasion? Maybe it was not fully realized how important of a bulwark they were. If that's the interpretation we are going with, I propose the following re-ordering:

Quote:
GHA-SL-08b <C&E These Northmen were descendants of the same race of Men as those who in the First Age passed into the West of Middle-earth and became the allies of the Eldar in their wars with Morgoth. [Footnote: The Northmen appear to have been most nearly akin to the third and greatest of the peoples of the Elf-friends, ruled by the House of Hador.] They were therefore from afar off kinsmen of the Dúnedain or Númenóreans, and there was great friendship between them and the people of Gondor. {They were in fact a bulwark of Gondor, keeping its northern and eastern frontiers from invasion; though that was not fully realized by the Kings until the bulwark was weakened and at last destroyed.}>
{These}The Northmen had increased greatly in the peace brought by the power of Gondor. The kings showed them favor, GHA-SL-08.1{since they were the nearest in kin of lesser Men to the Dúnedain (being for the most part descendants of those peoples from whom the Edain of old had come)}; and they gave them wide lands beyond Anduin south of Greenwood the Great, to be a defense against men of the East. For in the past the attacks of the Easterlings had come mostly over the plain between the Inland Sea and the Ash Mountains. GHA-SL-08.2 <C&E They were in fact a bulwark of Gondor, keeping its northern and eastern frontiers from invasion; though that was not fully realized by the Kings until the bulwark was weakened and at last destroyed.>
2) Before GHA-SL-14 it says "Then for weariness and fewness of men the watch on the borders of Mordor ceased and the fortresses that guarded the passes were unmanned. " But in the first paragraph it says the watch upon Mordor was already neglected before the death of Atanatar: "The waning of Gondor had already begun before he died, and was doubtless observed by its enemies. The watch upon Mordor was neglected." Is this a contradiction? Or am I missing something?

3) The addition of GHA-SL-14.5 is a great find but it feels slightly out of place. The phrase "King Telemnar died" is repeated twice in close succession and slightly after the paragraph which starts with the death of King Telemnar and his family. I propose this ordering:

Quote:
GHA-SL-13.5 {The King}In Gondor King Telemnar <Moved from GHA-SL-14.5 died within two years of the slaying of King Minardil by the Corsairs.> {and} And all his children died, and great numbers of the people of Gondor, especially those that lived in Osgiliath. <Moved from GHA-SL-14.5 Húrin, Steward to King Minardil, {who had} labored greatly for the ordering of the realm in the disastrous days of the plague{, when King Telemnar died within two years of the slaying of King Minardil by the Corsairs}. From that time on the kings usually chose their steward from this family, though a son did not necessarily succeed a father.> Then for weariness and fewness of men...
Then the later paragraph which previously had GHA-SL-14.5 becomes:

Quote:
When King Telemnar died the White Tree of Minas Anor also withered and died. But Tarondor, his nephew, who succeeded him, replanted a seedling in the citadel...
This flows more naturally to me.

4) Regarding the addition of GHA-SL-21 :

Quote:
Ondoher had only time to turn and face the assault with his right flank close to the Morannon, and to send word to Minohtar, Captain of the Right Wing behind GHA-SL-21 <based on the end notes and the King’s sister-son>, to cover his left flank as swiftly as he could, when the chariots and horsemen crashed into his disordered line.
Should "behind" be after GHA-SL-21 ?

5) I think the paragraph starting with GHA-SL-22 feels abrupt and out of place. I think it should be moved to after "When the main host of the Wainriders advanced to the attack it was then two hours after noon ... half a mile beyond the point where it turned east to the Watch-towers of the Morannon." The sentence starting "Men of the Eothed fought with Ondoher." still feels abrupt but I can't see an easy way to fix that. However, by moving the paragraph starting with GHA-SL-22 the section about the Wainriders flows smoother:
Quote:
The Wainriders came on in little order, still exultant and singing songs of victory, seeing as yet no signs of any defenders to oppose them, until they found that the road into Gondor tamed south into a narrow land of trees under the shadow of the dark Ephel Dúath, where an army could march, or ride, in good order only down a great highway. Before them it ran on through a deep cutting.>
GHA-SL-26 <C&E Notes on the continuation {they}[The Wainriders] were not long held up by the rearguard defence of Minohtar. {The Wainriders}[They] poured relentlessly into Ithilien, and late on the thirteenth day of Cermië they overwhelmed Minohtar, who was slain by an arrow. GHA-SL-27 {He is here said to have been King Ondoher's sister-son.} His men carried him out of the fray, and all that remained of the rearguard fled southwards to find Adrahil. The chief commander of the Wainriders then called a halt to the advance, and held a feast.>
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Old 01-09-2019, 02:42 PM   #9
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Grammatical issues: Thanks for spoting these.

Suggestions/questions:
1) Yes, we thought that the importance of that protection was not fully understood. I agree to the reordering.

2) ‘neglected’ does not mean that it was fully stopped. The meanings I found are ‘uncared-for’; ‘bedraggled’. While ‘cased’ and ‘unmanned’ suggest the final end guarding Mordor. At least that is how I saw these quotes. That why I don’t see a contradiction but step by step degeneration.

3) Agreed, very nice final result, but the editing should be a bit easier in this way:
Quote:
GHA-SL-13.5{The King and}<{when}In Gondor King Telemnar died within two years of the slaying of King Minardil by the Corsairs.> And all his children died, and great numbers of the people of Gondor, especially those that lived in Osgiliath. GHA-SL-14.5b<Heires of Elendil {They were descended, father to son, from} Hurin, Steward to King Minardil, {who had }laboured greatly for the ordering of the realm in the disastrous days of the plague{, when King Telemnar died within two years of the slaying of King Minardil by the Corsairs}. From that time on the kings usually chose their steward from this family, though a son did not necessarily succeed a father.> Then for weariness and fewness of men ...
4) I see your concerns, what about this:
Quote:
... Ondoher had only time to turn and face the assault with his right flank close to the Morannon, and to send word to Minohtar, GHA-SL-21b<based on the end notes the King’s sister-son,> Captain of the Right Wing behind, to cover his left flank as swiftly as he could, when the chariots and horsemen crashed into his disordered line. ...
5) Agreed.

Maybe we should as well move GHA-SL-29 and GHA-SL-30, since as they stand they are separating to connected narratives. I would move GHA-SL-29 to this place:
Quote:
In the meanwhile the Wainriders licked their wounds, and plotted their revenge. ... and an attack was prepared that should be made at the same time from north and south.
Little or nothing, of course, was known of these designs and movements in Gondor. ... But Gondor could do no more at that time than gather and train as great an army as it could find or afford. Thus when the assault came at last it did not find Gondor unprepared, though its strength was less than it needed.
GHA-SL-29b<Appendix A {Calimehtar, son of Narmacil II, helped by a revolt in Rhovanion, avenged his father with a great victory over the Easterlings upon Dagorlad in 1899, and for a while the peril was averted.} It was in the reign of Araphant in the North and of Ondoher son of Calimehtar in the South that the two kingdoms again took counsel together after long silence and estrangement. For at last they perceived that some single power and will was directing the assault from many quarters upon the survivors of Númenor. It was at that time that Arvedui heir of Araphant wedded Fíriel daughter of Ondoher (1940). But neither kingdom was able to send help to the other; for Angmar renewed its attack upon Arthedain at the same time as the Wainriders reappeared in great force.>
Ondoher was aware that his southern enemies were preparing for war, and he had the wisdom to divide his forces into a northern army and a southern. ...
And GHA-SL-30 should be put some where nearer to the greate plague, since that is mentioned at the end of the text. What about placing it directly before the sub heading FY-HL-06 The Northmen and the Wainriders?

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Old 01-09-2019, 06:04 PM   #10
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2) OK, a step by step degeneration makes sense.

3) Looks good.

4) That works.

5) I agree to where you moved GHA-SL-29. Moving GHA-SL-30 right before the subheading FY-HL-06 The Northmen and the Wainriders makes sense to me.

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Old 01-10-2019, 11:05 AM   #11
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Sorry for the late response. All of these changes look great to me, thank you once again for the astute analysis gandalf!
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