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Old 06-25-2018, 08:56 PM   #1
ArcusCalion
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Silmaril The Ride of Eorl

This is the first draft of the chapter The Ride of Eorl.

This chapter is a thoroughly mixed bag of sources, and so there is no base text. Because of this, I have marked every instance of any text used, so as to be easy to follow.

The markings are:
FY-HL-xx for all the headlines for the Fading Years.
RE-SL-xx for all expansions and changes to the narrative.

Some conventions of my writing:

Bold Text = source information, comments and remarks
{example} = text that should be deleted
[example] = normalized text, normally only used for general changes, as well as changes which are a part of replacement that is not grammatical.
Underlined Text = text changed for grammatical reasons in the process of combining and inserting and removing.
<source example> = additions with source information
...... = This section of the paragraph is unchanged from the source.

Quote:
FY-HL-10 <THE RIDE OF EORL>

RE-SL-01 <Appendix A Eorl the Young was lord of the Men of Éothéod. RE-SL-02 <Appendix A He was so named because he succeeded his father in youth and remained yellow-haired and ruddy to the end of his days.> That land lay near the sources of Anduin, between the furthest ranges ..... and were again somewhat straitened in the land of their home.>
RE-SL-03 <Appendix A
Many lords and warriors, and many fair and valiant women, are named in the songs of Rohan ..... There was no great love between Éothéod and the Dwarves.
Léod was the name of Eorl's father. He was ..... then only two and forty years old, and his son a youth of sixteen.
Eorl vowed that he would avenge ..... you shall surrender your freedom to me until your life's end.’
Then Eorl mounted him, and Felaróf submitted; .... must have brought their sire from West over Sea.>
RE-SL-04 <Ride of Eorl
While the Éothéod still dwelt in their former home they were well-known to Gondor ...... which from its junction with Greylin they called Langflood.
Messengers still passed between Gondor and the Éothéod .... and in like manner some eight hundred miles to Minas Tirith.
The Chronicle of Cirion and Eorl reports no events ...... may be made out to have been of this sort.
The wide lands south of Mirkwood, from the Brown Lands ...... opportunity for manning the line of Anduin north of the Emyn Muil.
RE-SL-05 <GC Appendix C The river Celebrant (Silverlode) was within the borders of the realm of Lórien, and the effective bounds ..... Parth Celebrant was applied in Gondor; hence its use in defining the ancient northern boundary.>
Cirion became Steward of Gondor in the year 2489. RE-SL-06 <Appendix A He was watchful and wary, but the reach of Gondor had grown short, and he could do little more than defend his borders, while his enemies (or the power that moved them) prepared strokes against him that he could not hinder.> The menace from the North was ever in his mind, and he gave much thought to ways that might .... too many of his scouts never returned.
It was thus not until the winter of the year 2509 was past ..... war they made up in numbers, so far as could be guessed.
RE-SL-07 <Appendix A In the two thousand five hundred and tenth year of the Third Age a RE-SL-08 {new peril threatened Gondor. A} great host of wild men from the North-east swept over Rhovanion and coming down out of the Brown-lands crossed the Anduin on rafts. At the same time by chance or design the Orcs (who at that time before their war with the Dwarves were in great strength) made a descent from the Mountains. The invaders overran Calenardhon, and RE-SL-09 {Cirion, Steward of Gondor, sent north for help; for there had been long friendship between the Men of Anduin's Vale and the people of Gondor. But} in the valley of the River men were now few and scattered, and slow to render such aid as they could.>
In this peril Cirion's thought turned at last in desperation to the Éothéod, ..... Hallas his son he left in command at Minas Tirith.
The first pair of messengers left on the tenth day of Súlimë; ..... that he could scarce speak his message to Eorl.
It was then the twenty-fifth day of Súlimë. Eorl took counsel ..... Borondir's hand in token of the promise.
Eorl at once summoned his council of Elders, ..... must risk all or draw back and break his promise.
At last the whole host was assembled; and only .... over the river and flowed over the land before them.
Eorl did not halt. ‘Ride on!’ he commanded. ‘There .... held back from battle by a river-mist?’
As they drew nearer they saw that the white mist ..... were guarded as it were by white walls of secrecy.
‘The Lady of the Golden Wood is on our side, it seems,’ said Borondir.
‘Maybe,’ said Eorl. ‘But at least I will trust .... I had more need of secrecy and speed.’
Then Felaróf sprang forward, and all the host behind ..... speed beyond hope. [Footnote: In nine days they had .... since they expected battle as soon as they reached the Undeeps.]
RE-SL-10 <Appendix A Thus he came to the battle of the Field of Celebrant, ..... and the Riders hunted them over the plains of Calenardhon.>

FY-HL-11 Cirion and Eorl

RE-SL-11 <C&E The Halifirien was the highest of the beacons, and like Eilenach, ...... as if he expected to hear the echo of a great voice that called from far away and long ago.
The name Halifirien meant in the language of the Rohirrim ..... it was not permitted that any fort or beacon should be set upon Amon Anwar.

RE-SL-12 {In the days of Cirion the Steward there came a great assault by the Balchoth, who allied with Orcs crossed the Anduin into the Wold and began the conquest of Calenardhon. From this deadly peril, which would have brought ruin upon Gondor, the coming of Eorl the Young and the Rohirrim rescued the realm.}
When the war of the Balchoth was over men wondered ..... Cirion turned to Eorl and said, to men's wonder:
‘Farewell now, Eorl, son of Léod. I will return ..... and then we will take counsel together.’
‘I will come,’ Eorl answered; and so they parted.
As soon as Cirion came to Minas Tirith he summoned ...... made ready for his meeting with the Lord of the Riders.’
In due time Cirion set out with Hallas his son and the Lord of Dol Amroth, ..... none have used it since I came here with my father.’
Then Cirion led Eorl into the trees and the others ...... crown of the Hill was green, as if the year were still in Lótessë.
At the foot of the stair there was a small shelf ..... on the first step of the stair he broke the silence, saying in a low but clear voice:
‘I will now declare what I have resolved, with the authority ..... But the same bond shall be laid also on the people of Gondor.’
Then Eorl stood up, but remained for some time silent. For he was ..... they would have room beyond hope, and yet be far from the shadows of Mirkwood.
Yet beyond wisdom and policy both Cirion and Eorl were moved ...... on whom sat the majesty of the Kings of Men of long ago.
At last, when Eorl had swiftly passed all these things ...... with an oath that shall not be forgotten.’
‘Then let us go now to the high place,’ said Cirion, ‘and before these witnesses take such oaths as seem fitting.’

Then Cirion went up the stair with Eorl and the others ...... Then he said to Cirion: ‘Is this then a tomb? But what great man of old lies here?’
‘Have you not read the letters?’ said Cirion.
‘I have,’ said the Prince, RE-SL-13 {[Footnote: The Lord of Dol Amroth had this title. It was given to his ancestors by Elendil, with whom they had kinship. They were a family of the Faithful who had sailed from Númenor before the Downfall and had settled in the land of Belfalas, between the mouths of Ringló and Gilrain, with a stronghold upon the high promontory of Dol Amroth (named after the last King of Lórien).]} ‘and therefore I wonder; for the letters are ...... lambë, amdo, lambë, but there is no tomb for Elendil, nor has any man since his day dared to use that name.’ [Footnote: The letters were (L • ND • L): Elendil's name without vowel marks, which he used as a badge, and a device upon his seal.]
‘Nonetheless this is his tomb,’ said Cirion; ‘and from it ..... solemnity to ourselves and to our heirs upon either side.’
Then all those present stood a while ..... according to the customs of your people.’
Eorl then stood forth, and taking his spear ..... This he said in the tongue of the Éothéod, which in the Common Speech is interpreted: [Footnote: Though imperfectly; for it was in ancient terms and made in the forms of verse and high speech that were used by the Rohirrim, in which Eorl had great skill.]

'Hear now all peoples who bow not to the Shadow ...... Shadow fall upon them and they become accursed.'

Then Eorl sheathed his sword and bowed and went back to his captains.
Cirion then made answer. Standing to his full height ...... he lifted up his voice and said in Quenya:

Vanda sina termaruva Elenna-nórëo alcar enyalien ar Elendil Vorondo voronwë. Nai tiruvantes i hárar mahalmassen mi Númen ar i Eru i or ilyë mahalmar eä tennoio.

And again he said the Common Speech:

This oath shall stand in memory of the glory of the Land of the Star, and of the faith of Elendil the Faithful, in the keeping of those who sit upon the thrones of the West and of the One who is above all thrones forever.

Such an oath had not been heard in Middle-earth since Elendil himself had sworn alliance with Gil-galad King of the Eldar. [Footnote: And was not used again until King Elessar ...... sufficient to hallow the place where it was spoken.]
When all was done and shadows of evening were falling Cirion ..... Éothéod and the Steward of Gondor.
The bounds of the realm of Eorl were to be: in the West ..... between the rivers Angren and Adorn. [Footnote: These names are given in Sindarin according to the usage of Gondor; but many of them were named anew by the Éothéod, being alterations of the older names to fit their own tongue, or translations of them, or names of their own making. RE-SL-14 {In the narrative of The Lord of the Rings the}The names in the language of the Rohirrim are mostly used. Thus Angren = Isen; Angrenost = Isengard; Fangorn (which is also used) = Entwood; Onodló = Entwash; Glanhír = Mering Stream (both mean ‘boundary stream’).]
In all these regions Gondor still retained ..... were the tilled lands of the people of the fortress.
It was agreed also that the Great Road which had formerly run through Anórien and Calenardhon to RE-SL-15 {Athrad Angren}[Ethraid Engrin] (the Fords of Isen), ..... to the Fords of Isen be in the care of the Éothéod.
By this pact only a small part of the Wood of Anwar, ..... and the Wood the Firienholt.
In later times the day of the Oath-taking was reckoned ..... but by the Éothéod themselves. [Footnote: Their proper form was Rochand and Rochír-rim, and ...... Thus arose the names Rohan and Rohirrim RE-SL-16 {as used in The Lord of the Rings}.]
The day after the Oath-taking Cirion and Eorl embraced ..... Let us part now in hope! Have I your leave?’
‘Indeed you have my leave,’ said Cirion, ‘since I see now ..... were not put into my mouth in vain. We will part then in hope.’
After the manner of the Chronicles no doubt much of what ..... the noblest of the Stewards of Gondor.>
RE-SL-17 <Appendix A
{and they sent}And Eorl sent north for their wives and children and their goods and sealed in that land. They named it anew the Mark of the Riders, and they called themselves the Eorlingas RE-SL-18 {; but in Gondor their land was called Rohan, and its people the Rohirrim (that is, the Horse-lords)}. Thus Eorl became the first King of the Mark, and he chose for his dwelling a green hill before the feet of the White Mountains that we're the south-wall of his land. There the Rohirrim lived afterwards as free men under their own kings and laws, but in perpetual alliance with Gondor.>
RE-SL-19 <C&E
But when {this was done, and} Eorl had returned to the North to bring back all his people to their new dwelling, ..... who named it in their own tongue Halifirien, the Holy Mount.>
RE-SL-20 <Dwarves and Men
With regard to Middle Men {Faramir}the Men of Gondor spoke mainly of the Rohirrim, the only people of this sort well-known in Gondor in his time, and attributed to them actual direct descent from the Folk of Hador in the First Age. This was a general belief in Gondor at that time, {(61)} and was held to explain (to the comfort of Númenórean pride) the surrender of so large a part of the Kingdom to the people of Eorl.>
FY-HL-10: This title fit best for the whole chapter, as the whole chapter discusses the Ride and its fallout.

RE-SL-01: We open with the Appendix A portion talking about Eorl. For this opening portion, I mixed up the presentation of the text of Appendix A to fit a more chronological order, since now that we're inserting so much story, it flows better like this.

RE-SL-02: Here I added a detail from his entry in the list of kings not given elsewhere.

RE-SL-03: Here I jump ahead in Appendix A in order to keep things chronologically better and improve the flow of the storytelling.

RE-SL-04: Here we switch to the Ride of Eorl text from UT.

RE-SL-05: This addition from Appendix C of Galadriel and Celeborn seems to fit best here. I think its worth including because it describes Lorien and Gondor's borders, and since both are involved in the coming story, I think it works best. I think it fits well here since we are already talking about borders. Afterwards we return to the RoE narrative.

RE-SL-06: This little bit from Appendix A has new information not in the longer text.

RE-SL-07: This little paragraph of Appendix A has some good transition elements which are absent from the longer narrative.

RE-SL-08: I removed this to avoid redundancy with the longer narrative.

RE-SL-09: Same as 08.

RE-SL-10: Since the long narrative ends there, the short description of the battle from Appendix A will have to do.

FY-HL-11: Here we switch to the Cirion and Eorl narrative.

RE-SL-12: This summarizes the events we have just related, so it needs to go.

RE-SL-13: We have used this footnote in the text of the Sauron Defeated chapter of the Black Years, so I removed it here to avoid redundancy.

RE-SL-14: I removed a reference to LotR.

RE-SL-15: At every other occurrence of the name, it is given in the plural form, and every single occurrence of the English name it is also int the plural, so I changed the name to match.

RE-SL-16: I removed a reference to LotR.

RE-SL-17: Appendix A describes the initial settling of Rohan better than the C&E text, so I inserted the description here.

RE-SL-18: This information has already been discussed at length above, so I removed it.

RE-SL-19: Here we give the end of the Cirion and Eorl text, and describe the final resting place of Elendil.

RE-SL-20: This final addition is the last unused bit of the Middle Men discussion from Dwarves and Men, and I think it is worth including here. I changed the reference to Faramir for obvious reasons.

Last edited by ArcusCalion; 06-25-2018 at 09:29 PM.
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Old 06-26-2018, 10:23 AM   #2
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A good chapter. To everything I do not comment I agree.

RE-SL-07 to RE-SL-10: I think the main part of these adition has to come later. It is told that: the messengers of Cirion ‘ would have to go through Calenardhon and over the Undeeps, AND THEN through lands already watched and patrolled by the Balchoth’ (emphasis added). This means Calenardhon and the Undeeps were still under the control of Gondor when the messengers were send. Therefore I would edit the text here thus:
Quote:
… so far as could be guessed.
RE-SL-07b<Appendix A In the two thousand five hundred and tenth year of the Third Age a RE-SL-08b{new peril threatened Gondor. A great host of wild men from the North-east swept over Rhovanion and coming down out of the Brown-lands crossed the Anduin on rafts. At the same time by chance or design the Orcs (who at that time before their war with the Dwarves were in great strength) made a descent from the Mountains. The invaders overran Calenardhon, and}RE-SL-09b Cirion{, Steward of Gondor,} sent north for help; for there had been long friendship between the Men of Anduin's Vale and the people of Gondor. But in the valley of the River men were now few and scattered, and slow to render such aid as they could.>
In this peril Cirion's thought turned at last in desperation to the Éothéod, …
And later I would change RE-SL-10 to read:
Quote:
… It was the morning of the fifteenth day of Víressë, and they had come there at a speed beyond hope.[Footnote tot the text: In nine days they had covered more than five hundred miles in a direct line, probably more than six hundred as they rode. Though there were no great natural obstacles on the east side of Anduin, much of the land was now desolate, and roads or horse-paths running southward were lost or little used; only for short periods were they able to ride at speed, and they needed also to husband their own strength and their horses’, since they expected battle as soon as they reached the Undeeps.]>
RE-SL-10b<Appendix A A great host of wild men from the North-east had swept over Rhovanion and coming down out of the Brown-lands crossed the Anduin on rafts. At the same time by chance or design the Orcs (who at that time before their war with the Dwarves were in great strength) made a descent from the Mountains. The invaders overran CalenardhonRE-SL-10.2{, and Cirion, Steward of Gondor, sent north for help; for there had been long friendship between the Men of Anduin's Vale and the people of Gondor. But in the valley of the River men were now few and scattered, and slow to render such aid as they could. At last tidings came to Eorl of the need of Gondor, and late though it seemed, he set out with a great host of riders}.
Thus {he}Eorl came to the battle of the Field of Celebrant, for that was the name of the green land that lay between Silverlode and Limlight. …
RE-SL-13: Even so it is a repetition; I think we should include the first sentence of the footnote as a reminder.

RE-SL-20: You miss ‘in his time’, which must be changed:
Quote:
RE-SL-20<Dwarves and Men With regard to Middle Men {Faramir}the Men of Gondor spoke mainly of the Rohirrim, the only people of this sort well-known in Gondor {in his}at that time, and attributed to them actual direct descent from the Folk of Hador in the First Age. This was a general belief in Gondor{ at that time},{(61)} and was held to explain (to the comfort of Númenórean pride) the surrender of so large a part of the Kingdom to the people of Eorl.>
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Old 06-26-2018, 11:49 AM   #3
ArcusCalion
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RE-SL-07/08/09: I agree with your reasoning, but I think to include the last sentence is redundant, since the same information is repeated in the next paragraph.Therefore, I think we should remove the entire addition of 07 to the place where you moved it, at the end, exactly as you edited it in 10b The only thing is that we need to change all the verb tenses in that paragraph to the past perfect, the 'had swept', 'had crossed', 'had made,' and 'had overrun'. This way we follow your logic, but avoid redundancy.

I agree to the rest.

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Old 06-26-2018, 12:26 PM   #4
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RE-SL-07b: I don't think it is the same. Cirion first tries to get help from the peoples still lingering in the lower vales of Anduin, but they are few and reluctant to help. than ha sends for help to Eotheod. At least that is how I read the text of Appendix A.

RE-SL-10b: Agreed.

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Old 06-26-2018, 12:42 PM   #5
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07b: You are right, I misread. We will stick with your version.
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