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Old 06-14-2018, 11:30 AM   #1
ArcusCalion
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The Disaster of the Gladden Fields

This is the first draft of the chapter The Disaster of the Gladden Fields.

Our basis text is that of The Disaster of the Gladden Fields from Unfinished Tales, but I have marked every instance of the text used, so as to be easy to follow.

The markings are:
FY-HL-xx for all the headlines for the Fading Years. FY-HL-01 is the very title: The Fading Years which I used in the Prelude thread.
DGF-SL-xx for all expansions and changes to the narrative.

Some conventions of my writing:

Bold Text = source information, comments and remarks
{example} = text that should be deleted
[example] = normalized text, normally only used for general changes, as well as changes which are a part of replacement that is not grammatical.
Underlined Text = text changed for grammatical reasons in the process of combining and inserting and removing.
<source example> = additions with source information
...... = This section of the paragraph is unchanged from the source.

Quote:
FY-HL-01 <Disaster of the Gladden Fields THE DISASTER OF THE GLADDEN FIELDS>

DGF-SL-01 <Of the Rings of Power Thus began the Third Age of the World, after the Eldest Days and the Black Years; and there was still hope ..... for after Elendil’s day the two kindreds became estranged. DGF-SL-02 <Galadriel and Celeborn: Amroth {but he}Amdír was slain in the Battle of Dagorlad and most of his company with him. Amroth, his son, became king [of Lórien].> DGF-SL-03 <Galadriel and Celeborn Appendix B Thranduil {his}[Oropher’s] son survived, but when the war ended and Sauron was slain (as it seemed) he led back home barely a third of the army that had marched to war.>
The Ruling Ring passed out of the knowledge even of the Wise in that age; ....... , and there planted the White Tree in memory of his brother Anárion.>
DGF-SL-04 <The Disaster of the Gladden Fields {After the fall of Sauron, Isildur, the son and heir of Elendil, returned to Gondor.} There he assumed the Elendilmir as King of Arnor, and proclaimed his sovereign lordship over all the Dúnedain in the North and in the South; for he was a man of great pride and vigor. He remained for a year in Gondor, restoring its order and defining its bounds; DGF-SL-05 {[Footnote: As is related in the Tale of Cirion and Eorl, drawing on older histories, now mostly lost, for its account of the events that led to the Oath of Eorl and the alliance of Gondor with the Rohirrim.]} but the greater part of the army of Arnor returned to Eriador by the Númenórean road from the Fords of Isen to Fornost.>

FY-HL-03 <Cirion and Eorl The Tradition of Isildur>

[b]DGF-SL-06 <Tradition of Isildur {It is said that when Isildur returned from the War of the Last Alliance he remained for a time in Gondor, ordering the realm and instructing Meneldil his nephew, before he himself departed to take up the kingship of Arnor.} With Meneldil DGF-SL-07 <moved from below in The Disaster of the Gladden Fields [Footnote: Meneldil was the nephew of Isildur, son of Isildur's younger brother Anárion, slain in the siege of Barad-dûr. Isildur had established Meneldil as King of Gondor. He was a man of courtesy, but farseeing, and he did not reveal his thoughts. He was in fact well-pleased by the [impending] departure of Isildur and his sons, and hoped that affairs in the North would keep them long occupied.]> and a company of trusted friends he made a journey about the borders of all the lands to which Gondor laid claim; ..... Let no man disturb its silence and peace, unless he be an heir of Elendil.’
They made a stone stair from the fringe of the woods up to the crown of the hill; ...... and reveal to him the secrets of the realm and other matters that he should know.>

FY-HL-03.5 ********

DGF-SL-08 <Disaster of the Gladden Fields When he at last felt free to return to his own realm {he}[Isildur] was in haste, and he wished to go first to Imladris; ..... and had marched that way to the war with men of eastern Arnor in the company of Elrond.
It was a long journey, but the only other way, west and then north to the road-meeting in Arnor, and then east to Imladris, was far longer. [Footnote: Three hundred leagues and more DGF-SL-09 {[i.e., by the route which Isildur intended to take]}, and for the most part without made roads; ..... eight leagues in all.] As swift, maybe, for mounted men, but he had no horses fit for riding; [Footnote: The Númenóreans in their own land possessed horses, which they esteemed DGF-SL-10 {[see the ‘Description of Númenor,’ p.177]}. But they did not use them in war; .... On the march each man carried with him two days' provisions (other than the ‘need-wallet’ mentioned in the text DGF-SL-11 {[pp. 288-89]}; the rest, and other baggage, ..... they would not allow any man to ride them. Of these they had only ten.]
So it was, as is told in the legends of later days, ...... expecting to reach Imladris in forty days, by mid-Narbeleth, ere winter drew nigh in the North. At the Eastgate of the Bridge on a bright morning Meneldil DGF-SL-12 moved above {[Footnote: Meneldil was the nephew of Isildur, son of Isildur's younger brother Anárion, slain in the siege of Barad-dûr. Isildur had established Meneldil as King of Gondor. He was a man of courtesy, but farseeing, and he did not reveal his thoughts. He was in fact well-pleased by the departure of Isildur and his sons, and hoped that affairs in the North would keep them long occupied.]} bade him farewell. ‘Go now with good speed, and may the Sun of your setting out not cease to shine on your road!’
With Isildur went his three sons, Elendur, Aratan, and Ciryon, DGF-SL-13 [Footnote: All three had fought in the War of the Alliance, but Aratan an Ciryon had not been in the invasion of Mordor and the siege of Barad-dûr, for Isildur had sent them to man his fortress of Minas Ithil, lest Sauron should escape Gil galad and Elendil and seek to force away through Cirith Dúath (later called Cirith Ungol) and take vengeance on the Dúnedain before he was overcome. Elendur, Isildur's heir and dear to him, had accompanied his father throughout the war (save the last challenge upon Orodruin) and he was in Isildur's full confidence.] and his Guard of two hundred knights and soldiers, ...... to gain the ancient paths of the Silvan Elves that ran near the eaves of the Forest.
So it came to pass that late in the afternoon of the thirtieth day ...... marching along a path that led to Thranduil’s realm, [Footnote: DGF-SL-14 {Long before the War of the Alliance,}[As has been said,] Oropher, King of the Silvan Elves east of Anduin {, being disturbed by rumours of the rising power of Sauron, had left their ancient dwellings about Amon Lanc, across the river from their kin in Lórien. Three times he had moved northwards, and at the end of the Second Age he} dwelt in the western glens of the Emyn Duir, and his numerous people lived and roamed in the woods and vales westward as far as Anduin, north of the ancient Dwarf-Road (Men-i-Naugrim). {He had joined the Alliance, but was slain in the assault upon the Gates of Mordor.} Thranduil his son had returned with the remnant of the army of the Silvan Elves in the year before Isildur's march.
The Emyn Duir (Dark Mountains) were a group of high hills in the north-east of the Forest, so called because dense fir-woods grew upon their slopes; but they were not yet of evil name. In later days when the shadow of Sauron spread through Greenwood the Great, and changed its name from Eryn Galen to DGF-SL-15 {Taur-nu-Fuin}[Taur-e-Ndaedelos] (translated Mirkwood), the Emyn Duir became a haunt of many of his most evil creatures, and were called Emyn-nu-Fuin, the Mountains of Mirkwood.] as it then was. ..... below which the descent into the valley-bottom was gentler.
Suddenly as the sun plunged into cloud they heard .... A shadow of foreboding fell upon his heart.
‘The vengeance of Sauron lives on, though he may be dead’, .... said Elendur; for he was in his father's confidence.
The Orcs were now drawing near. Isildur turned to his esquire: ..... Then Ohtar knelt and kissed his hand, and the two young men fled down into the dark valley.
If the keen-eyed Orcs marked their flight they took no heed. ..... little harmed, unshaken, behind piles of fallen Orcs.
It seemed to Isildur that the enemy was withdrawing ...... who were most often dismayed when their prey could turn and bite.
But he was mistaken. There was not only cunning in the attack, ..... Isildur had all too few archers for his need. [Footnote: No more than twenty, it is said; for no such need had been expected.] He halted.
There was a pause, though the most keen-eyed among the Dúnedain ..... creatures and command them to obey you? Is it then of no avail?’
‘Alas, it is not, senya. I cannot use it. I dread the pain .... It should go to the Keepers of the Three.’
At that moment there came a sudden blast of horns, ...... Aratan mortally wounded in an attempt to rescue him.
Elendur, not yet harmed, sought Isildur. ..... thinking an Orc had crept behind.
‘My King,’ said Elendur, ‘Ciryon is dead ..... even at the cost of abandoning your men and me!’
‘King's son,’ said Isildur, ‘I knew that I must do so; ...... Elendur kissed him. ‘Go! Go now!’ he said.
Isildur turned west, and drawing up the Ring ..... drawing a hood over his head, vanished into the night.
Of what befell the Dúnedain only this was later known: ..... Elessar was according to the records of the Dúnedain the descendant in the thirty eighth degree of Elendur's brother Valandil. So long was it before he was avenged.]

Now of Isildur it is told that he was in great pain ..... rough and pathless, with many traps for wandering feet.
So it was that he came at last to the banks of Anduin ...... Isildur, second King of all the Dúnedain, lord of Arnor and Gondor, and in that age of the World the last.>
FY-HL-02: This title, I think, is pretty self-explanatory. The bulk of the story is about this disaster, and so I think the title is fitting.

DGF-SL-01: This picks up where the story left off at the end of last chapter, and is the perfect opening for the Third Age narrative.

DGF-SL-02: This detail should be included here, since it is important later on that we know that Amroth is king of Lorien. I added in [of Lórien] because the sentence as it stood in its original context was already referencing it, but in this context we need to be specific.

DGF-SL-03: This information too is needed here, since later in the narrative there is reference to the return of Thranduil's army to the forest.

DGF-SL-04: This sets the stage for the narrative going forward, and has more details than the account in Of the Rings of Power.

DGF-SL-05: I removed this footnote, since I have pulled this narrative into the main story immediately following, and thus this footnote is now incorrect. I suppose we could argue that The Tale of Cirion and Eorl is an in-universe document and thus is being referenced, so if anyone feels strongly that it should be kept, I suppose there is an argument for that.

FY-HL-03: The following insert is from this narrative, so I think we can take the title as well.

DGF-SL-06: Here we transition to the Tradition of Isildur text. I removed the first sentence because it is a summary of what we have just said.

DGF-SL-07: I moved this footnote from Disaster of the Gladden Fields to here, because in that narrative it was used at the first occurrence of the name Meneldil. However, in our narrative, this here is the first occurrence of the name Meneldil. I marked the place where it is removed later on.

FY-HL-03.5: Since we have reached the end of the Tradition of Isildur narrative, I think we need to separate it from the rest of the chapter thus.

DGF-SL-08: Here we return to The Disaster of the Gladden Fields text. The 'he' has lost its reference, so I changed it to Isildur.

DGF-SL-09: comment of Christopher Tolkien removed.

DGF-SL-10: comment of Christopher Tolkien removed.

DGF-SL-11: comment of Christopher Tolkien removed.

DGF-SL-12: This just marks where I removed the footnote which I moved above.

DGF-SL-13: This marker is for the footnote that Fin used in his draft of Sauron Defeated. We may here discuss if it is better to move this to that chapter.

DGF-SL-14: The changes made to this footnote stem from the fact that we used most of it in the earlier chapters when talking about Oropher's movements. I have kept some of the information here, but only what is needed to give context to the footnote.

DGF-SL-15: This is a name update. Tolkien changed the elvish name of Mirkwood.

The rest of the story remains as is until the end, excluding The Sources of the Legend of Isildur's death which I placed in Volume III.
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Old 06-14-2018, 04:01 PM   #2
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Everythnig I do not comment on I agree to. And I promis it is not to much I comment on.

FY-HL-01: This was used twice. I suppose the title 'Of the Disaster of the Gladden Fields' was to be marked by FY-HL-02.

DGF-SL-01: I think we have to do something on this paragraph. 'and for long the White Tree of the Eldar flowered in the courts of the Kings of Men, for the seedling which he had saved Isildur planted in the citadel of Anor in memory of his brother, ere he departed' is clearly out of sequence. We probabaly would need a bit more of mixing of the source texts we us.

LA-SL-16: I think still that the paragraph 'The Ruling Ring passed ... White Tree in memory of his brother Anárion.' should be moved at least in part to the last chapter in The Black Years. As it stands now we jump backward and forward and even reperat facts. I am aware that this is ture in part as well for the original text Of the Rings of Power and the Third Age, but our additions increase the distance between the repeations and the strong feeling of more repeation.

DGF-SL-07 & DGF-SL-12: What about spliting this note? I would use the genological first part at the first mentioning of Meneldil and from 'He was a man of ...' at its original place.

DGF-SL-13 & LA-SL-03: I am still for using this in the chronlogical right possition. That of course does not mean that we should remove the foot note here completly. The first sentence should stay here and even a part of teh second could be repeated. The info abou Elendur should stay here.

DGF-SL-14: Here only the author's part of the note was taken. But thus teh follwoing information is lost: 'the ancient Forest Road that led down from the Pass of Imladris and crossed Anduin by a bridge (that had been enlarged and strengthened for the passage of the armies of the Alliance), and so over the eastern valley into the Greenwood. The Anduin could not be bridged at any lower point; for a few miles below the Forest Road the land fell steeply and the river became very swift, until it reached the great basin of the Gladden Fields. Beyond the Fields it quickened again, and was then a great flood fed by many streams, of which the names are forgotten save those of the larger: the Gladden (Sîr Ninglor), Silverlode (Celebrant), and Limlight (Limlaith).' I am not sure where, but we should find a place for this.

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Old 06-14-2018, 05:05 PM   #3
ArcusCalion
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FY-HL-01: Yes, the first one is just listing the source, my bad.

DGF-SL-01: I am not sure what parts do not work. Is this enough of a change?
Quote:
DGF-SL-01 <Of the Rings of Power Thus began the Third Age of the World, after the Eldest Days and the Black Years; and there was still hope in that time and the memory of mirth, and for long the White Tree of the Eldar flowered in the courts of the Kings of Men DGF-SL-01.5 {, for the seedling which he had saved Isildur planted in the citadel of Anor in memory of his brother, ere he departed from Gondor}. The servants of Sauron ....
The first sentence besides the part that I removed is in reference to the entire Third Age, as this is the opening line. With the repeated bit about the White Tree removed, is this enough?

LA-SL-16: Here is my proposal to edit this in the sequence you prefer. For Sauron Defeated I would leave it as you had it, but change the initial 'For' to a 'But' to make it flow better. I also still think that LA-SL-17 should not be included, since it is repeating the information. As for this chapter, I would edit it now thus:
Quote:
The Ruling Ring passed out of the knowledge even of the Wise in that age; yet it was not unmade. For Isildur DGF-SL-03.5 {would not surrender it to Elrond and Círdan who stood by. They counselled him to cast it into the fire of Orodruin nigh at hand, in which it had been forged, so that it should perish, and the power of Sauron be forever diminished, and he should remain only as a shadow of malice in the wilderness. But Isildur refused this counsel, saying: ‘This I will have as were-gild for my father's death, and my brothers. Was it not I that dealt the Enemy his death-blow?' And the Ring that he held seemed to him exceedingly fair to look on; and he would not suffer it to be destroyed. Taking}took it {therefore}and he returned at first to Minas Anor, and there planted the White Tree in memory of his brother Anárion.>
I would also remove the paragraph break between this and the DGF-SL-04 addition. Does this work?

DGF-SL-07/12: Agreed, this is great.

DGF-SL-13/LA-SL-13: Agreed. I would propose a minor edit to each:
Quote:
LA-SL-13 <The Disaster of the Gladden Fields, Note 11 Isildur {had} sent {them}his sons Aratan and Ciryon to man his fortress of Minas Ithil, lest Sauron should escape Gil galad and Elendil and seek to force away through Cirith Dúath (later called Cirith Ungol) and take vengeance on the Dúnedain before he was overcome.>
and for this chapter:
Quote:
DGF-SL-13 [Footnote: All three had fought in the War of the Alliance, but Aratan an Ciryon had not been in the invasion of Mordor and the siege of Barad-dûr {, for Isildur had sent them to man his fortress of Minas Ithil, lest Sauron should escape Gil galad and Elendil and seek to force away through Cirith Dúath (later called Cirith Ungol) and take vengeance on the Dúnedain before he was overcome}. Elendur, Isildur's heir and dear to him, had accompanied his father throughout the war (save the last challenge upon Orodruin) and he was in Isildur's full confidence.]
Does this work?

DGF-SL-14: Good catch. I think we can insert that information here like so:
Quote:
... and changed its name from Eryn Galen to DGF-SL-15 {Taur-nu-Fuin}[Taur-e-Ndaedelos] (translated Mirkwood), the Emyn Duir became a haunt of many of his most evil creatures, and were called Emyn-nu-Fuin, the Mountains of Mirkwood.
DGF-SL-16 <further on in Note 14 The Men-i-Naugrim was the ancient Forest Road that led down from the Pass of Imladris and crossed Anduin by a bridge (that had been enlarged and strengthened for the passage of the armies of the Alliance), and so over the eastern valley into the Greenwood. The Anduin could not be bridged at any lower point; for a few miles below the Forest Road the land fell steeply and the river became very swift, until it reached the great basin of the Gladden Fields. Beyond the Fields it quickened again, and was then a great flood fed by many streams, of which the names are forgotten save those of the larger: the Gladden (Sîr Ninglor), Silverlode (Celebrant), and Limlight (Limlaith).>]
Dpes this work?
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Old 06-15-2018, 04:48 PM   #4
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DGF-SL-01: Yes that would works, because it refers to the entire Third Age. I would probably have removed the reference to the white tree completely. But it is okay as it is, so it does not do the trick fully for me (see last point in this post).

LA-SL-16, LA-SL-17 & DGF-SL-03.5: Agreed.

LA-SL-13 & DGF-SL-13: Yes, that works for me.

DGF-SL-16: Okay.

I am still not completely satisfied with the structure in this chapter. This might sound a bit radical, but what about this:
Quote:
FY-HL-01<Of the Rings of Power and the Third Age
The Fading Years
>TFY-01<Of the Rings of Power and the Third Age {Those}These were the Fading Years, ... arose in Mirkwood again.>FY-HL-02b<Cirion and Eorl
The Tradition of Isildur
> DGF-SL-01 <Of the Rings of Power Thus began the Third Age of the World, … for after Elendil’s day the two kindreds became estranged. DGF-SL-02 <GC Amroth {but he}Amdír was slain in the Battle of Dagorlad and most of his company with him. Amroth, his son, became king [of Lórien].> DGF-SL-03 <GC Appendix B Thranduil {his}Oropher’s son survived, but when the war ended and Sauron was slain (as it seemed) he led back home barely a third of the army that had marched to war.>
The Ruling Ring passed out of the knowledge even of the Wise in that age; yet it was not unmade. For Isildur DGF-SL-03.5{would not surrender it to Elrond and Círdan who stood by. They counselled him to cast it into the fire of Orodruin nigh at hand, in which it had been forged, so that it should perish, and the power of Sauron be forever diminished, and he should remain only as a shadow of malice in the wilderness. But Isildur refused this counsel, saying: ‘This I will have as were-gild for my father's death, and my brothers. Was it not I that dealt the Enemy his death-blow?' And the Ring that he held seemed to him exceedingly fair to look on; and he would not suffer it to be destroyed. Taking}took it {therefore}and he returned at first to Minas Anor, and there planted the White Tree in memory of his brother Anárion.> DGF-SL-04 <The Disaster of the Gladden Fields {After the fall of Sauron, Isildur, the son and heir of Elendil, returned to Gondor.} There he assumed the Elendilmir as King of Arnor, and proclaimed his sovereign lordship over all the Dúnedain in the North and in the South; for he was a man of great pride and vigor. He remained for a year in Gondor, restoring its order and defining its boundsDFG-SL-04.5<moved from below and instructing Meneldil his nephew>DGF-SL-07b<moved from below from The Disaster of the Gladden Fields [Footnote to the text: Meneldil was the {nephew of Isildur, }son of Isildur's younger brother Anárion, slain in the siege of Barad-dûr. Isildur had established Meneldil as King of Gondor.]>; DGF-SL-05{[Footnote: As is related in the Tale of Cirion and Eorl, drawing on older histories, now mostly lost, for its account of the events that led to the Oath of Eorl and the alliance of Gondor with the Rohirrim.]} but the greater part of the army of Arnor returned to Eriador by the Númenórean road from the Fords of Isen to Fornost.>
GF-SL-06<ToI {It is said that when Isildur returned from the War of the Last Alliance he remained for a time in Gondor, ordering the realm and instructing Meneldil his nephew, before he himself departed to take up the kingship of Arnor.} With Meneldil and a company of trusted friends … unless he be an heir of Elendil.’
They made a stone stair … and other matters that he should know.>FY-HL-03b <Disaster of the Gladden Fields
Of the Disaster of the Gladden Fields
> DGF-SL-08<Disaster of the Gladden Fields When he at last felt free to return to his own realm {he}Isildur was in haste, and he wished to go first to Imladris; for he had left his wife and youngest son there, and he had moreover an urgent need for the counsel of Elrond. …
I lifted The Tradition of Isildur to one level higher and used it for the entire story of Isildurs time in Gondor.
Beside that I added DGF-SL-04.5 and moved DGF-SL-07b to this now first occurrence of Meneldil. Since here he is already named a nephew of Isildur, I changed the note accordingly.

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Old 06-16-2018, 01:59 PM   #5
ArcusCalion
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So are you suggesting that the chapter be called The Tradition of Isildur with The Disaster of the Gladden Fields switching places to become the sub-heading? Or are you saying that they should be separate chapters? If you are saying that they should become separate chapters, then I do not agree. The resulting chapter: The Tradition of Isildur would be far too short, rivaling even our chapter Of the Five Wizards. I think that this makes it somewhat unlikely, and I see no real need to present it in this oddly truncated state. May I ask why you feel the need to rearrange so strongly?
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Old 06-17-2018, 02:04 PM   #6
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I suggested exactlly the spliting into 2 seperate entitties.

But I can understand your concerns. But in that case I would still say that 'The Tradition of Isildur' is the better title for a combined chapter.

The impulse to combine the chapters was fact that at the beginning of 'The Tradition of Isildur' has a very similar passage to that from 'The Rings of Power' that we used directly before. The real important change that I wanted, is DGF-SL-04.5.

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Old 06-17-2018, 03:14 PM   #7
ArcusCalion
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Very well, I will agree to switch the chapter name and the sub-heading, and keep your changes.
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