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Old 06-17-2004, 03:00 PM   #121
Arwen Evenstar
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A winged-warg? I don`t see why not! After all, balrogs have wings and I will do fighting on my part for anyone who denies it.
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Old 06-17-2004, 03:32 PM   #122
The Squatter of Amon Rûdh
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Pipe A fascinating discovery

Thank you all for your most cordial welcome. As a humble student in the lore of Wargs, I can only echo the off-the-record words of Pengolodh the Wise of Gondolin: "Let none, whether Elf or Man or indeterminate squishy thing, be held in awe. For the mighty Warg, noblest of Eru's creatures, hath taught us how unworthy are we of any such honour."

Your story is one to harrow up the doughtiest soul, Diamond, and it is not the only account that exists of the meetings betwixt Warg and human in the chances of the world. Recently I had occasion to visit a shop that deals in rare and antiquarian books, for I was in search of a copy of Professor S. Bickerstaff's watershed treatise, A Paleontological History of the Wargish Species (Ottle University Press, 1873). Since there are only eight known copies in existence, I held scant hope of laying hands on my prize; but in glancing through a disorderly collection of writings on Wargish matters, I was fortunate enough to discover the extremely rare A Conversational Dictionary of the Wargish Tongue by Major C.E.V. Forbes-Clithering, M.C., the noted Victorian adventurer. I'm sure that you will share my joy and excitement that this copy had belonged to none other than the Major himself, and that within the weighty tome I found what appears to be an account of his celebrated discovery of the Greater Sub-continental Hirsuit Warg.

This earth-shattering event, from which the field of Warg studies is still recovering, occurred while Major Forbes-Clithering was serving with the Seventeenth Bengal Lancers, in which he held a commission from 1868 to 1874. He and several other officers had organised a tiger-hunting party, and had established their hide in a clearing that bore the distinct signs of habitation by a large carnivore; but what began as a simple hunting trip was soon to catapult these men into the public eye with breathtaking force. Major Forbes-Clithering takes up the tale.

"Having awaited our quarry for some six hours, we had begun to consider the removal of our hide to another clearing some four and a half miles to the north-east. No sooner had we had reached a consensus, however, than our attention was diverted by the distinctive sounds of a large animal in the brush at the edge of the clearing. Believing this to be the rogue Bengal which was our principal game, Lieutenant Fitzmorris and I aimed our rifles at some undergrowth, in which we had noticed the signs of movement. At that moment it burst forth upon us, snatching up the goat and devouring it in a single snap of its prodigious jaws. This beast was greater by far than any tiger yet recorded; swathed about with thick, sleek hair of astounding length. Its eyes burned with a feral intelligence that caused us all to imagine that at any moment it might speak to us and bid us depart from its domain.

Indeed, the creature had divined our presence. Our treetop hides were no more a mystery to this lord of the jungle than had we been standing directly before it. Lieutenant Fitzmorris, who had marked himself out to me on prior occasions as a man of limited foresight, fired directly at its head at a distance of not more than twenty-five yards, and yet his shot had no visible effect. Instead, rearing upon its majestic hind legs, the creature, which can only have been of the genus Vulpus Nobilis Sapiens, slashed through the bole of that mighty tree with one blow of its great talons, causing the men who were at that time hiding within it to fall to their deaths. Lieutenant Fitzmorris it picked up and flung against my own tree, treading his broken body into the earth where it fell in evident contempt. Then it stared directly into my eyes, and I seemed to hear words as though spoken from far away:

'Do not wander in our domain with such toys as these; for only harm will befall those who seek to pursue the Wargs into their hidden fastnesses. The great cat you seek has displeased us and is dead. We have no use for its body, which you may do with as you will: it lies to the south, at the borders of our country.'

I stood as one palsied, unable to speak. I lowered my rifle in something akin to awe, while majestically the great Warg turned and strode back into the jungle. I have never seen before or since a sight of such awesome grandeur as I was vouchsafed that day in Bengal; nor would I trust my life again to such a tenuous thread of goodwill as then preserved me from destruction. I have heard it said that of all creatures, Man alone has the power of speech; and yet I swear that on that day I encountered a being that surpasses us in wisdom and spirit as completely as it does in strength and speed. Since that day I have hunted for pleasure no more, so deeply was I impressed."
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Old 06-17-2004, 04:13 PM   #123
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Question A burning question

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A hearty welcome to yet another distinguished Downer at the Appreciation Thread.
*bows* Thank you, kind sir. I am honored to enter the discussion halls of such august and devoted Warg scholars. I am amazed at the travels undertaken and tomes searched for information about the species -- my own discovery was fortuitous, a matter of being in the right alley at the right time.


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That was a most unusual tale Diamond, insofar as it is unusual to hear about the treasuries of Wargs in tales these days.
Indeed. I feel it is an aspect of Warg culture largely overlooked, and 'tis a shame. The Wargs, while not greedy by nature, could appreciate the finer things in life as well as bones dripping with fresh marrow. Would it not be fascinating to stroll the halls of a Warg Museum, wherein all the ancient writings and artefacts of Wargdom are preserved in a place of honor? Why, methinks even Kum-bat-kûl himself would not object to a part of his treasure on display, though that is only conjecture, never having met the esteemed fellow myself.


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To meet someone who has fought a Warg though, well that just boggles the mind. I hope he realises how lucky he is to be alive and to have such tales and wisdom (for knowledge of the ways of Wargs is wisdom).
Alas, his debauched and disheveled state leads me to suspect the horrors of being taken to town by a Warg has had a more lasting effect on him than the mercy shown afterwards. Yet, he still tells his tale to any who will listen, as was Kum-bat-kûl's wish, so that's something.

But this leads me to a question: I am somewhat suspicious of one aspect of the Hunter's tale. That being, that Kum-bat-kûl himself still lives. Is there a known precedent for immortal Wargs? Surely, they are mystical beasts, but I have not heard of them being a deathless race before. I wonder if the Hunter did not simply encounter a descendant of Kum-bat-kûl? I can only wonder, though, since he was adamant that it was the Great One himself, and I was in no position to question him at the moment. It is intriguing, though, to be sure.
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Old 06-18-2004, 07:48 AM   #124
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Boots

We touched on the subject of Warg mortality earlier in the thread, though we came to no concrete conclusions. Some suppose that Wargs are actually lesser Ainur. Feel free to start this discussion again if it interests you Diamond I am sure you will find many willing contributors!

Squatter, I have indeed heard of this major you speak of. Indeed, I think I may be related to him. Perhaps that is where the lust for knowledge of Wargs comes from. A fine fellow he was, I hear...

And Arwen, so nice to see that you are taking an interest in the Appreciation Thread. Please do stick around. I am sure you will be a changed person after experiencing these astounding tales. Perhaps you have seen a Warg with your own eyes! Please share the story if you have.

I did type up my Khand-story but for some reason I wasn't allowed to post it and I lost about 40 minutes of my life that I will never get back. Ah! the Downs, tis a wise, but at times cruel, lover.

Try again, try again...
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Old 06-18-2004, 07:59 AM   #125
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Boots Joy pierces the shadow...

...or 'The only thing that ever happened in Khand.'


Not every place in Middle-earth was the scene of some tumultuous battle. There were actually many quiet, relatively-trouble free areas, and Khand was certainly one of them. Boasting large green fields and a few pleasant rivers, it was quite surprising that so few people lived there. Perhaps it was because Khand had a reputation for being dull. It was (and still is) a common saying in Middle-earth when you are offered something unexciting; "Aye, settle doon. It's Khand."

But maybe not. Perhaps it was the ever-present threat of Mordor which loomed rather too close for comfort. However, Mordor was not particularly strong at this point. Gangamel, an Uruk who marshalled the troops, had pulled all his forces together to defend the pass at Minas Morgul. This was in preparation for the expected assault led by the Elves, Eagles and Ents of Elrond Halfelven. Elrond was currently using Khand as a station for his remaining people.

The rest of Middle-earth was being dominated by a bewilderingly large army marshalled by Gorgomoth, the rebel Uruk and Lord of Moria. Not since the heyday of Morgoth had Middle-earth been under such threat. Finally the war between Elrond and Gangamel kicked off and nearly all the forces of Elrond were slaughtered in Minas Morgul. Gangamel was victorious, if you can call it that, because he now had barely any defence whatsoever. A comical example of this is when he pulled his troops back from the Shire to help Mordor, leaving only three Orcs to fight a huge Red Army away in the North.

So Khand remained the only place for the fair folk of Middle-earth to dwell in, and that would only be for a matter of weeks, as Gorgomoth was determined. Elrond was defeated (or so he believed) so he did what he thought was best; he organised the most dynamic party he could. Now, let's not pretend that this was the greatest party ever. Middle-earth had seen many grander occasions than this. However, it was still a very excellent attempt at a great party, considering the time constraints they were under and the impending death which faced them. The people had a great time. Bands such as The Flaming Lips and Yeah Yeah Yeahs rocked Middle-earth to its very core, and there were even appearances by Terry Wogan, Rolf Harris and Roberto Carlos da Silva for the Elves to appreciate. The importance of the party cannot be ignored. This was a single solid gesture of defiance to evil. It was a celebration of goodness at the very door of wickedness. As Andrew WK might say; "You can't kill the party, long live the party!"

Still, the end of the fun neared, and with many Elves sleeping or under the influence of some foreign weed (supplied by Wayne Coyne, who had been visiting the Hobbits) the Wargs finally appeared. Now, these were true Wargs. Let us not forget that evil Wargs were still fighting for Gorgomoth. Alas! such is the way of the Warg. The Elves were surprised to see the Wargs, probably believing that they had all been killed or seduced by evil. Yet the Wargs had survived, and now they would save the Elves. They brought them over the Sea and into the West, and while doing so they counselled the Valar and suggested that Middle-earth needed salvation.

What happened next is a tale in itself (though admittedly nowhere near the epic standard of the War of Wrath). The symbolic significance of the Party in Khand however, carries a strong message of defiance and rejection in the face of despair.
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Old 06-18-2004, 12:01 PM   #126
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My, my. That is by far the uncanniest tale I've yet come across, Eomer. Not the least because I had no idea the Flaming Lips and Yeah Yeah Yeahs have been around that long. It just goes to show what varied knowledge can be gained from speaking of Wargs. I salute Elrond's wise handling of such a dire situation. After all, you have to fight for your right to party.

As far as Wargish immortality having already been discussed, I'm crushed to realize that my memory is that bad, as I did endeavor to read all posts. Well, since no definite conclusion has yet been reached, perhaps I will take some time to do some deep, scholarly research into the subject and get back to you with my findings. I will probably need expensive liquor to aid in my studies, but no price is too high to pay to learn more about the great and glorious Warg.
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Old 06-19-2004, 03:26 PM   #127
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Boots

Indeed, Diamond, some of the best times you will ever have in your life centre around Wargs and alcohol. In fact, when the two are combined hectic results ensue. I will never forget my 12-day stint in the Warg section of the Brussels library with only 4 large bottles of 1854 French Brandy for company. Strange times!

With regards to how our modern-day pop stars and entertainers found themselves in Khand, I am not obliged to explain that situation.
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Old 06-21-2004, 03:00 PM   #128
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Recently a Warg passed within ten feet of me! I was in my own backyard, sitting on the grass and reading, when I heard a rustling of leaves. I saw what I believe to be the same black winged Warg I saw before, and another one, which I believe to be its mate. They had landed on branches in a tree in my backyard, and the branches were quite strained to hold the weight of the massive beasts. I bowed in awe and terror, the Wargs let out a soft growl and departed. I believe this means these Wargs are living in my own neigborhood! This pair could be the only one around, which is likekly, or they could be part of a larger group in my area. I will keep a lookout for this pair and others. I will attempt to look more deeply into Warg lore to see how common it is to find black, winged, pairs.
Welcome, Squatter, Arwen, and Diamond! We are always happy when another joins us to share their knowledge or tales of the Warg.
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Old 06-21-2004, 05:07 PM   #129
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The Eye

I feel I should begin to take part in this discussion, since I believe that I am an actual owner of a Warg, disguised as a congenial-looking mutt.

My Warg shows an intolerable dislike for travelers who trespass on my lands. If not for a strong chain, many a solicitor would have shed blood on the concrete of my front square. Even so, the average person will attempt to convince me of thier wares from as far away as across the lane.

In regards to the posts before me, I must confess to never seeing wings appear on my Warg, but you can rest assured I will keep a sharp eye out.
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Old 06-22-2004, 08:23 AM   #130
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Boots

Most fascinating Fingolfin. It must indeed have been a mighty tree which supported the weight of two great Wargs. Perhaps you should investigate your neighbourhood further in order to see these Wargs again. But be careful, remember. Wargs are highly dangerous, if magnificent, creatures.

I remember a particular occasion in my early life which suggested the full terror of Wargs. Once as a child I witnessed a Warg track down and commit a single elderly woman to death. Employing the acid, barbs, tact and strychnine granted to it by a truly cruel God, it had gutted, dissected and pickled the woman within minutes. The pieces were swiftly jarred and sold to the Russians and the Warg proudly attached the woman's eyes to its secondary mandibles in an effort to increase his standing in Heaven and Hell. Some Wargs cannot comprehend their power as they have no minds, this is as a consequence of one of the first Wargs in the world dabbling in necro-science and attempting to interfere in the affairs of the angels. Robbed of any real sentience, these Wargs can feel only the pain and upset of others and are driven by this.

Saraphim, so nice of you to join us here at the Appreciation Thread! It is very interesting to hear of a domesticated Warg. I knew that such Wargs were in existence but rarely have I been confronted with one. It is, of course, worth remembering that the Warg is far more powerful than your family may realise. If you wake up one morning to find your home the victim of an unexplained rampage, do not be surprised. Wargs can be temperamental creatures. Perhaps this has already happened to you?
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Old 06-25-2004, 03:15 PM   #131
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White Tree

I saw them again! Not only did I once again sight the two Wargs I saw before, I saw two others! They were not so close to me this time. They flew around in the sky above me before landing in the tree in my neighbor's yard. There were the two that I saw before, one, the first one I ever saw, was black, with eyes of the same color, and a grey marking, shaped like a many-pointed star on its forehead. Its mate was also black, with no markings and green eyes. The other two Wargs were dark grey, both with brown eyes, the first with a brown patch around its right eye, the second with a black marking shaped sort of like a sword blade pointing to the right on its forehead. They stayed in the tree for about ten minutes, but I don't think they noticed me. Eventually they flew away in the direction of a large local park with woods and a prairie. I believe this is where this group lives. The group could be could actually be quite large!

Saraphim, welcome to our community of Warg lovers! Careful with that Warg you have, it strikes me as strange that a Warg would disguise itself as a common dog. It could be a dangerous renegade.
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Old 06-25-2004, 03:38 PM   #132
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The Eye

My warg is currently only two meters away, sleeping soundly.

This may well be a facade, since a moment ago I caught her on the kitchen table drinking my coffee.

Indeed, Eomer. Often my kinsfolk and I will wake to the little warg chewing on things: clothes, footwear, furniture, carpet, cats, books. My copy of The Lays of Beleriand will never be the same.

I fear this may be only a hint of things to come, however, and I hope to be out of the house when the caffiene kicks in.
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Old 06-26-2004, 11:47 AM   #133
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Boots

Strange happenings and strange experiences for some of our friends. I am both saddened but yet relieved that I have not had close personal contact with a Warg. My three experiences of seeing a Warg have never once involved direct contact betwixt Warg and myself.

I'm trying to work on a tale regarding the Rhun Hills. Now, I'm sure we are all aware of the legends surrounding the ancient power of the Rhun Hills. Yet almost no-one recognises that it concerns Wargs very closely. It is a tale of violence, bloodshed and magic. I have no idea when it will be ready for postage. Also my study is still in a mess after the incident with the Spider Monkey, so this can only delay my work.

Fingolfin, I fear for your safety if you investigate these Winged Wargs further. If, as you suspect, there is a large group of them then they could cause frightful carnage in your area. It is a tricky situation no doubt, because why on earth would you want to hesitate to further experience Wargs? A double-edged sword of a situation I fear.
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Old 06-30-2004, 05:51 AM   #134
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Boots

It has been several days since Fingolfin has posted on the thread. I fear he went searching for the Winged Wargs and suffered the consequences. Say it ain't so!
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Old 07-01-2004, 06:07 AM   #135
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Boots The mystery of the Rhun Hills

There are few place-names in Middle-earth which chill the blood, but to those in the know, the Rhun Hills are of especial mystery. This fear has passed into legend, and most folk, whether Hobbits of the Shire or Men of Gondor, do not know the truth about the Hills. All they know is that it is a place to dread. Of those few who know the truth, Elrond of Rivendell is one who has ventured to tell the tale.

He told me that there was once a tribe of Wargs who lived in the Rhun Hills, back in the day when Men could walk freely in those lands. These were noble majestic Wargs, probably around twenty of them, and they made alliance with the Rulers of Gondor. Gondor was at that time plotting an assault upon Mordor and valued the help of the Wargs. Little did the Wargs know that they were about to be used as pawns in the great game of War.

The Wargs were stationed on the outskirts of Mordor, ready to attack the forces of Sauron who were massed. They thought that the Men were in hiding nearby and waited upon the signal, which was to be a beacon away in the West. They saw the beacon light up and jumped out of their place of hiding, only to be met with the grim realisation that the Men had abandoned them; they were nowhere to be seen. A group of around fourteen Wargs were about to be assailed by Sauron's huge army.

The Wargs put up an amazing fight, but it could not last. Orc upon Orc fell before the fury of the Wargs but there were too many, swarming around the Wargs like ants. And there were Balrogs and Evil Ents, who could not be contained, and one by one, the Wargs fell, destroyed.

The King of Gondor had planned this. He had hit two birds with one stone, so to speak. The Wargs had put a sizeable dent in Sauron's army. Hundreds and hundreds of Orcs had been eliminated. Sauron's army was not huge so he was unable to attack Gondor for many years after this. Also, Gondor was all set to take the Rhun Hills, and the treasures which apparently lay within.

They made their expedition about a month after the slaughter of the Wargs. A large representation of Gondor's might went to take the Hills. They travelled through the fair, yet strange, country becoming more anxious as they went on, for the sights were unusual in the Rhun Hills. They heard or saw no Wargs, a deathly silence was everywhere. Until they came to a great river which ran through the Hills. The Men were drawn to it, and they saw an awful thing; the river flowed with blood. In that hour, a thick mist swept over the Hills. The Men, all twelve thousand of them, were never seen again.


*as told by an unnamed Elf from Rivendell*

-point- *Elrond discovered this from the birds of the area*
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Old 07-06-2004, 11:40 AM   #136
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Sting

Don't worry Eomer! After a fruitless search for the winged Wargs I had a lot of distractions which I will not discuss, which made me unable to post.

Your story of the Rhun Hills was quite electrifying! The Wargs' spirits probably used their magic against the Men of Gondor. They undoubtedly met a horrible death.
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Old 07-06-2004, 12:11 PM   #137
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Well, I'm back.
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Old 07-09-2004, 05:10 AM   #138
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Boots

Fingolfin, it is good to see my fears were in vain. At the same time though it is disappointing for you that you couldn't meet the Winged Wargs. Ah well, I'm sure the time will come, someday.

Samwise, a quite ridiculous post as I am fully aware that you are, in fact, away again. You could never resist the use of random Gamgee quotes could you?
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Old 07-09-2004, 09:41 AM   #139
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Sting

Ok, I have just one question. In the Hobbit, the Wargs seem to have their own language when they are surrounding the tree that the Dwarves and Hobbit and Wizard are in, and are talking in it. Why do they look like dumb killing machines in the movie? and why isn't there a mention of their alleged smarts in LotR?
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Old 07-09-2004, 09:43 AM   #140
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As for winged wargs, why not? That'd be a cool ride for a warg rider.
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Old 07-10-2004, 11:53 AM   #141
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One of the Nine, so nice of you to join us here at the Appreciation Thread.

Regarding languages, it is widely believed that Wargs spoke many languages, due to their immense capacity for learning.

Regarding the movie-Wargs, they were the single biggest mistake and act of disrespect in the entire trilogy. Compared to the movie-Wargs, movie-Pelennor fields was majestic. There was actually a website which is now closed (unfortunately) which listed everything wrong with the movie-Wargs. I believe the final count was in between 650-660.
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Old 07-10-2004, 10:21 PM   #142
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<Walks up late to the conversation, carrying a poor, sick, bloodied Warg in his arms...>

Sorry I am late oh Lord Eomer! I recieved notice of this thread and immediately ran to be by your side, however, I was waylaid upon the road! A rather foolish old man thought it would be funny to throw pinecones at Phillipo here and myself as we rode unaware under a pine tree...

After a brief halt to lick our wounds, we continued valiantly on to this great warg-moot!

Alas! For once again we were attacked as we journeyed southwards... cruel, tall men, looking somewhat like yourself hacked at us! It was only through the cunning and strength of Phillipo here that we were able to fight our way through to you.

I Osse, lord of storms, pledge to thee!
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Old 07-11-2004, 12:18 PM   #143
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Erm is there a vet (possibly one whose youth was marred by Lycanthropy and therefore has chosen this unusual specialism) in the house? And is there a sanctuary for elderly and maimed wargs somewhere in ME? Like the home for dragons in Ankh Morpork?
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Old 07-11-2004, 01:32 PM   #144
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Hail and well met Osse and Mithalwen! So wonderful to have more subscribers to the Appreciation Thread.

Osse, your tale startles me, yet as I consider the long and unhappy history betwixt Wargs and Men, it merely follows a familiar pattern. Suffice to say, Phillipo is not the first Warg to be attacked by humans, and you are not the first person to be attacked by other Men for supporting a Warg. It is such a cruel world in which we live. Yet, all is not lost. I am honoured to recieve your pledge, and I only urge you to appreciate Wargs such as we here do.

Mithalwen, you touch upon a subject not yet discussed at the Thread. What of the aged Wargs? In which ways do they weaken with the years? As for maimed Wargs, I am of the belief that Wargs have amazing regenerative powers of healing and thus do not remain maimed for long. Is there a Man left alive who is skilled enough to treat a Warg? I don't know.
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Old 07-12-2004, 06:21 PM   #145
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eomer of the Rohirrim
One of the Nine, so nice of you to join us here at the Appreciation Thread.

Regarding languages, it is widely believed that Wargs spoke many languages, due to their immense capacity for learning.
Hmm... that leaves some open thought for me. Thanks!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eomer of the Rohirrim
Regarding the movie-Wargs, they were the single biggest mistake and act of disrespect in the entire trilogy. Compared to the movie-Wargs, movie-Pelennor fields was majestic. There was actually a website which is now closed (unfortunately) which listed everything wrong with the movie-Wargs. I believe the final count was in between 650-660.
Yeah, they definately got a lot wrong about wargs, not to mention the whole movie!
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Old 07-12-2004, 07:12 PM   #146
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O, Eomer of the Mighty Thread (and hair)! Alas, alack, too long has it been since I have driven my forceful hand into the beauteous mess that is this most noble of threads. But, anon I come again! With tales and tells, with lous and lays, to reminisce of the grand circumstance of wargdom!

Here, my friends, are some Fun!Facts! of Warg History.

- During the Third Age of Middle Earth, while Sauron kept himself in Mordor to muster his forces, an Warg League Baseball team, the "Gorgoroth Berserkers", embarked on a winning streak that has never been matched since in the annals of Middle Earth competitive inter-species sporting, defeating such favorites as the Osgiliath Sentries, the Lorien Rangers, the Rivendell Titans, the Harad Mumakil, and the Edoras Riders to finish both the 1348 and 1349 seasons undefeated, with a cumulative record of 263-0-3.

- It is said that when Luthien Tinuviel died, the whole world went into morning. This is true even for the Wargs -- over 6,000 Wargs held lit candles and arranged themselves at the Morannon to spell out the message "WE MIS U LUTHEN", which was said to have been visible by Eru himself. A Warg songwriter by the name of "Grrrrrrargh" composed a ballad to Luthien that was so haunting, it is still in use today as a drinking song in the halls of Rivendell.

- Many know the tale of Beren and Luthien, but few know that Beren's cousin Earl married an Warg-maiden named Snrlaa. Earl and Srnlaa moved to a suburb of Minas Tirith after their marriage and raised five children, living in married bliss for over 50 years.

- Until the unfortunate incident involving a hobbit and great Elf warrior, the tower of Cirith Ungol was a shelter for abused and neglected Gondorian wives seeking shelter from their husbands, as well as Faramirs and Boromirs seeking shelter from Abuser!Denethors. Ruffff, Warg-steed of Gorbag, who operated the Cirith Ungol shelter out of his own personal funds, said that the work was the "The most rewardin' work me and me lads could eva dream a' havin." (Translated 'loosely' from Wargspeak).

- There is a Warg living six miles south of Mount Doom, named Grufflesmuk, who can cross one eye independently of the other, and can point his eyes off in separate directions. It's really freaky, you totally need to see it. (Ref: John Ronald Ruel Tolkien, Forgotten/Lost/Misplaced/Ignored/Silly Letter #987.2, February 29, 1952)

- Though Saruman took the credit, the Warg named Ruglnkurf attempted to patent a method that he had invented of reducing emissions and increasing efficiency in Saruman's pits of industry. Though Ruglnkurf was never officially credited, his methods are still in use today at most modern steel mills and foundries.

- At the end of the Seocnd Age, as the Last Alliance fought against the host of Sauron, one group of Wargs, after convincing their riders to accompany them, attempted to make peace with the Elves besieging them. As Isildur sliced the ring from Sauron's finger, a few scant miles away Warg, Orc, and Elf alike were merrily drinking and carousing, playing games and leering indecently at Elf- and Warg-maiden alike. After the war, the Wargs who desired peace attempted to live in Rivendell, but found that the job market couldn't support such immigration and that rent was too high.

- The record for "Most Foes Slain In A Single Battle" is held by an Warg named Mishwak, in the Four-Hundred And Ninth Battle of the Westfold, with 212 opponents to fall before his sword. Both the Mouth of Sauron and a representative of the Steward of Gondor were on hand to award Mishwak with a plaque recognizing his efforts and the severed head of the record-breaking 197th kill, bronzed, which he almost devoured at the after-party reception. Commented Mishwak, "This, this right here -- this is proof that no matter where you come from, anyone has what it takes to be the best. This is for all the Wargs watching at home who thought they could never amount to anything!"

- Uthmrfff, in addition to being a skilled commander of the Warg Legions in the Siege of Minas Tirith, was also a pioneer in the fields of radioactive chemistry and X-ray research. Tragically, it was only due to Uthmrfff's studies of radioactivity that we now know of its dangers, and Uthmrfff himself was so afflicted by the radiation from all the samples he had handled that he contracted numerous cancerous tumors all over his body, the largest one - on the top side of his head - estimated to weigh over 15 pounds. He said that he would not elect to have it removed, to serve as a reminder to all of the unquenchable Warg spirit and thirst for knowledge.
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Old 07-12-2004, 07:27 PM   #147
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Are wargs just really big Wolves?
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Old 07-13-2004, 07:48 AM   #148
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Nirvana II, so nice of you to come here to the Appreciation Thread to discover more about Wargs. Albeit, you have some reading to catch up on! Wargs and Wolves are like stones and Elves (a Wargish version of our phrase "Chalk and Cheese"). Though their bodies are usually similar in proportion, Wargs are far larger in size. The average Warg is also around 670 times mightier than the average Wolf. Blessed with a divine wit and marvellous conversational skills, Wargs are also far more pleasant to be around (when they are friendly).

Kransha, truly wonderful to have you return to us! My, my, those outlandish facts were a delight to discover (not to mention hilarious) and they will no doubt be shared in many a pub throughout the lands tonight, and indeed any other night.

My particular favourite was the revelation that Wargs and Elves and Orcs indulged in alcohol and merrymaking during the Last Alliance. It is an oft overlooked attribute of Wargs that they are extremely roguish and thoroughly enjoy the more *ahem* salacious aspects of life.

This is the main reason why the prudish 'Gondorian Families United' marched in protest of Wargs in the year 458 of the Fourth Age, demanding the imprisonment of all Wargs of 'low moral standards'. Needless to say, the protest group were duly devoured by the unimpressed Wargs of Anfalas.
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Old 07-13-2004, 09:07 AM   #149
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but..wargs...are evil most of the time right?
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Old 07-13-2004, 09:25 AM   #150
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Ok, I have learned a LOT about how you people veiw wargs, but I still think Tolkien wanted them to look dumb in LotR, because nowhere does it say that they have their own language/languages, and nowhere does it say that they have any wit at all! Yet, in the Hobbit, they talk and obviously that does take some wit. It's like their demeaned in LotR.
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Old 07-13-2004, 05:28 PM   #151
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Nirvana II, Wargs are, in fact, highly susceptible to persuasion by the powers of evil. A common trait of the mighty, unfortunately.

One of the Nine, The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings were translations of manuscripts written by Hobbits. Hobbits actually knew very little about Wargs, thus you cannot take their word for it.
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Old 07-14-2004, 11:50 AM   #152
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eomer of the Rohirrim
One of the Nine, The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings were translations of manuscripts written by Hobbits. Hobbits actually knew very little about Wargs, thus you cannot take their word for it.
Well, looking back at the book, I can see where you're right. If the book were written by the Wargs point of view, I think it would be so different, it would almost be another book. Although it would be rather facinating to see the Wargs point of view... *goes off and attempts to start writing, and then comes back to the computer and gives up*
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Old 07-14-2004, 05:36 PM   #153
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You learn quickly One of the Nine that Wargs should be (in a perfect world) the very pinnacle of human fascination.

Although I have a feeling that few True Wargs took part in the War of the Ring, and that it was only the Wargs who had turned to Evil who fought.
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Old 07-14-2004, 06:17 PM   #154
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eomer of the Rohirrim
Mithalwen, you touch upon a subject not yet discussed at the Thread. What of the aged Wargs? In which ways do they weaken with the years?
Funny you should ask. In my ongoing quest to answer the question, "Are Wargs Immortal?" I have recently been traveling the world over, searching dark alleyways, old libraries, rock concerts, and fishing festivals, for clues to the natural life span of the Warg.

Due to the Warg's often dangerous and sometimes evil lifestyles, many die in ferocious battles before getting a chance to live to a Ripe Old Age. And most of the old tales focus on such Wargs; the deviants, the adventurers, the war-lords, and the tragic heros. Therefore, it is quite difficult to read up on the ones who go quietly in their sleep (if they indeed die without the help of blade or tooth or TNT). But I endeavored to do so, and here are my findings:

1.
In modern days, Wargs are extremely rarely seen. This fact has been established by many of our resident Warg Enthusiasts. I have discovered that the reason for this dwindling of such a magnificent species is none other than that they have lost the Warg-Wives.

Yes. I was in Mongolia at the time I learned this, rooting through an archeological dig in a cave once believed to be inhabited by Mongolian Warg-Rats (a derisive term for the local Wargs, who are considerably smaller than your average Warg. However they are just as, if not moreso, ferocious than other Wargs. So I would not call them that to their faces.) I found an ancient document which I spent many days translating from the Ancient Wargish. I have the first stanza done, and it goes thusly:

Where have all the Warg-Wives gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the Warg-Wives gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the Warg-Wives gone?
Damned if I know. Anyone?
When will we ever learn?
When will we ever learn?


Needless to say, I was tickled pink to have come across one of the only known documents of Angsty Warg Poetry. But before I go off making broad, definitive statements about the status of Warg-Wives, I should point out that it is unclear whether or not this was a widespread occurance. This may simply have been an event particular to the Wargs of the Mongolian plains, or the pack which lived in that one cave, or maybe the Warg who wrote the poem had been married lots of times. It is hard to say. I just know that the poor fellow was depressed, because some other documents found nearby contained such heartfelt laments as I Can't Get No Red Meat 'r Nuthin', I Howl When the Moon Isn't Even Full and I Wanna Be Domesticated.

Frightening to see a Warg fall so low. But I hear those Mongolian winters are nasty.

In summation of Point 1, the reason you have had such trouble sighting Wargs may be simply because they have little in common with rabbits, these days.

2.
If we speculate that the Wargs haven't got no satisfaction for a really long time, we would then have to formulate an explanation for why there are any left at all. Ruling out reproduction leaves only one obvious answer: Long or Infinite Life Spans. But which is it?

3.
After my Mongolian Adventure, I took my private jet to the Canary Islands in pursuit of a rumor that told of a Wargish Retirement home, where old Wargs sit on the front porch under afgans and reminisce about the Good Ol' Days. This would surely be conclusive evidence that Wargs age naturally (and therefore die naturally) so it was with great anticipation that I advanced upon the Islands. However, when I got there I found that it had all been a hoax and I ended up on the front page of the Canary Singer as their "Cuckoo of the Month". Needless to say, this ruffled my feathers.

4.
Regrouping, I went to Hawai'i and drank wine coolers with a Swedish Surfer Dude name Sven.

Er.

Actually, I went to Hawai'i with the express purpose of looking up Kakua Wakaka, the leading Polynesian Warg Enthusiast. I had heard from a sympathetic Canarian that K.W. houses a modest yet enthusiastic collection of little known Warg Tales, and I figured that even if that information proved futile I would at least be in Hawai'i!

As it turned out, however, K.W. and his Warg Library do exist. He graciously allowed me to pour over his documents, wine cooler in hand, and there I discovered the Single Most Fascinating Fact about Wargs that has, I believe, been shared on this thread to date!!!!!

It is a tale called Encyclopedia Brown and the Origin of Wargs and I will share it just as soon as I finish transcribing it from the ancient Polynesian Wargish.
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Old 07-14-2004, 06:32 PM   #155
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I hope no one mind if I randomly interlope again but, as the Poet Laureate of these forums (proclaimed by some, not all) I felt it my duty to compose a ballad to rival those of my mighty mentor and yours, something of a Warg. So, I conclude that the tale of Beren and Luthien, a stirring story indeed, was in fact gleaned from another tale, one involving a wise Warg of Morannon. So, without further ado.

The Lay of Rärmfurmf of Morannon & Mithwen of Lothlorien

A Warg there lived at Morannon who lay each day upon the rocks
Reclining most resplendantly, considering each paradox.
Of nature and philosophy considered he each postulate,
His jaws a-snapping, tongue a-lapping, and his head would occilate.

Tremendous was his knowledge, an unending cornucopia.
He read each volume, great and small, despite his slight myopia.
Consulted he the books of yore, from Orodruin to Barad-dur.
Of things bizarre from lands afar, including the rare Harad Stoor.

Upon his head, 'neath beady eyes, some spectacles were neatly perched
As sat he on the jagged earth, as sun and moon above him lurched.
Immobile, without motion for a century he held that spot.
Despite the cold, the blist'ry wind, the eerie nights and sunlight hot.

Scorched he was, and frozen too, for never would he move an inch.
Regardless of his brother's taunts and all the foulest orcish stench.
Just at his side, piled skyward high, a stack of every book he'd skimmed.
And on his face, marks of that stood, a drooping nose and eyes red-rimmed.

At last, one day, a saturday, the twentieth of December.
His brethren sought him out and said, "You're but a dying ember!"
"If you stay here yet one more year you'll be naught but a pile of bones,"
"With no sound left to comfort you save all your cousins saddened moans."

Suddenly then, he looked at them, and shifted from his stool.
"You're right," he said, "I'll soon be dead. I'm nothing but a fool."
"I've lingered here so long, so long, I've read so much!" He bleated.
And with peep, that Warg did weep, and to his cave retreated.

The next day came, both bright and lame, and his unhappy kin.
They rapped concernedly upon the door of his tepee, and he swiftly let them in.
"How have you been," they said to him, "since from your perch you ran?"
He answered not, they said "Fear not! We have a cunning plan."

"You've got a lot of smarts, that's true, but we've a good position"
"For you to fill, you lucky Bill, it's a good proposition."
"The army's the thing, to put step in your swing, and your shame shall be lifted."
"You dashing pup, we've signed you up! Good lad, you've been conscripted!"

The warg was most confused at but nodded through the speech duration.
When they were finally complete, they dragged him to the nearest station.
“This bonnie lad,” said that Warg’s dad, “he wants to be enlisted.”
“I’m not quite sure,” the bookwarg said, but all his kin insisted.

So in the army he was now, a military fellow
Whose breast did blaze with medals raised, his belly never yellow.
But that Warg was not all content, he moped and sobbed and moaned
For he still mist his learning and the lit’rature he’d owned.

But, as time passed, his fervor grew, and marched he each new day.
Whene’er a fight reared up its head, he soon would join the fray.
And with a smile upon his lips, a grin upon his muzzle,
He’d bravely fight, and then, that night, much Warg-draught would he guzzle.

And then, one cold and stormy night, the Warg-troops, in disguise,
Did happen on a band of Elves, and, taken by surprise,
Were captured by the troop of folk who knew not who they were.
The wargs did mope and had no hope that they’d not lose their fur.

One elf, though, took pity on them, and spoke then to her kin.
“It would be a most horrible thing,” she said, “a veritable sin”
“To slay or hurt these innocent beasts, they know not what their fault.”
“So now I say, send them on their way,” and the company did halt.

This maid was light that lit the night, a woman pure and fair.
Her eyes were blue as ocean pools and sunlight filled her hair.
She wore garb neat, from head to feet, which glowed a radiant blue.
She was so perfect; it was thought she must’ve been Ainu.

Heeding the word of the Elven maid, most beautiful and regal,
They freed the Wargs in captivity, and gave them draught illegal.
The Wargs departed, fleeing quick, back to Morannon.
But told they were to go back in force, their masters said “Anon!”

So, angered in verve, but ready to serve, the Warg-troop hurried back,
And found the elves who’d captured them asleep on that same track.
There was a battle, very brief, which ended without blood.
But plenty of mess, I must confess, as they rolled in the mud.

The Wargs, they say, then took the day and all the Elves were taken.
They were thrown down, and there were bound, and thought themelves forsaken.
But, he who this song talks about looked down on them with pity.
He felt for them in this dark place, so terrible and gritty.

The prisoner elves were taken off to the great Dark Lord’s hideout.
He was so pleased, he burned his knees. His messenger did ride out
And greeted he the victory-ous army coming hither.
With long tirades and some parades, he halted all the dither.

Before Sauron the elves were thrown. He jeered for quite a time.
And then he said, “Ye should be dead, you filthy Elvish slime!”
“Warg guards, most honored by my hand, I have a great solution.”
“Take every elf to the weapon shelf, and prep for execution.”

Suddenly, through our Hero-Warg, a pang of pity shot.
From all these elves, a day ago, more pity had he got.
Without a thought, for good or naught, he stepped before the Eye.
He said with grace and a brave face, “I shall not let them die!”

“They spared my life, and many more, they are good folk and kind.”
“And I feel that I must help them when they are in a bind.”
“So Lord so Dark, please hear me, Hark! Accept my humble plea.”
“If you have heart, release their part, and give the elves to me.”

Though the Dark Lord was by this soured, the plea had touched his soul.
He was no heartless wretch or fiend, no rat or mouse or mole.
His eye was great, but in that state, his heart he could not see it.
So with a sigh, and a blink of his eye, he rose and said, “So be it!”

The Elven maid who our Hero saved was unbound and arose.
She sprinted to our Wargy friend and, in most flashy prose
Outpoured her thanks to him, her friend, but ended that with this.
Upon his wet and dirty snout, she planted a small kiss.

Without warning he got the thing, and, though he hadn’t earned it.
He turned to her with bristling fur, and readily returned it!
And set they were, with gold and myrrh, to be a bride and groom.
Without delay, the very next day, they married ‘neath Mount Doom.

They lived in happiness extreme for many merry years
Inhaling grog and rum and ale and several orcish beers.
On Gorgoroth, in a shack they lived, with their bouncy boy baby
Until one day, as the storytellers say, their cousins came for tea.

They asked him then, “So, laddy Ben, are you really happy, son?”
“With all your mad adventuring are you really truly done?”
“What of you’re learning, all your books, what of your myths and lore?”
“Has all that been forgotten now and do you want no more?”

He looked at them most happily and straightaway did say.
“The greatest piece of knowledge known I learned upon that day.”
“For all my reading, all my trips, it surely was to end.”
“Because I needed but one thing, and that thing was a friend.”
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Last edited by Kransha; 07-15-2004 at 05:43 AM.
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Old 07-14-2004, 11:14 PM   #156
Diamond18
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Question Elf/Warg Slash?

I think that was possibly the most disturbing post I have ever read on this thread. I guess Mithwen of Lothlorien wins the prize for being the most enthusiastic Warg enthusiast ever.
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Old 07-15-2004, 12:25 PM   #157
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Mithalwen is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Mithalwen is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Mithalwen is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Mithalwen is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
I would just like to clarify that Mithwen of Lothlorien is absolutely no relation ..... and, Diamond, as to where have all the Warg-wives gone? - The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind....
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Old 07-15-2004, 12:44 PM   #158
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Pardon my lack of anything interesting to say, but I have been left near-speechless by Kransha's poem.

More! More! You are the Poet Laureate of the world!

Please Diamond, though Mithalwen seems to know where to find this fact you speak of, I do not! Share as soon as you can, friend!
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Old 07-15-2004, 03:03 PM   #159
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White Tree The Warg and Warg Rider Appreciation Forum?

I have been thinking. Our community here has grown so large that mayhaps we could have our own forum! The Proboards forums are nice and they are also free. I'm not sure how you get one but I could look into it.

I still have not found the Wargs! After days of searcing I have only found one thing: A single Warg footprint.
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Old 07-15-2004, 04:49 PM   #160
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A nice idea Fingolfin, but I don't think it would work. It would be typical if, once we set up the forum, everyone started ignoring it! Plus, we're doing very well here and we all have a strong bond with barrowdowns.com. Word gets around anyway. I'm sure that, before long, all the Warg enthusiasts will have descended upon us here.

You saw a Warg footprint eh? They are massive aren't they!? Everyone knows that Wargs are large, but you still get a shock when you actually see their size. I once stumbled upon what I believed was a Warg tail! It must have been cut off in a tumultuous battle with another Warg (for surely no other creature could cause such harm to a Warg). 6 feet long it was, amazing...
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