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Old 06-26-2018, 12:40 PM   #1
ArcusCalion
Shade of Carn Dûm
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 389
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Silmaril The House of Eorl

This is the first draft of the chapter The House of Eorl.

This chapter is a thoroughly mixed bag of sources, and so there is no base text. Because of this, I have marked every instance of any text used, so as to be easy to follow.

The markings are:
FY-HL-xx for all the headlines for the Fading Years.
HE-SL-xx for all expansions and changes to the narrative.

Some conventions of my writing:

Bold Text = source information, comments and remarks
{example} = text that should be deleted
[example] = normalized text, normally only used for general changes, as well as changes which are a part of replacement that is not grammatical.
Underlined Text = text changed for grammatical reasons in the process of combining and inserting and removing.
<source example> = additions with source information
...... = This section of the paragraph is unchanged from the source.

Quote:
FY-HL-12 <THE HOUSE OF EORL>

HE-SL-01 <BFI Appendix (ii) The Rohirrim at once began the settlement of HE-SL-02 {this region}[Rohan], though during the reign of Eorl their eastern bounds along the Emyn Muil and Anduin were still under attack. HE-SL-03 <Appendix A Eorl fell in battle in the Wold, and the first mound was raised. Felaróf was laid there also. Brego HE-SL-04 {- He} drove the enemy out of the Wold, and Rohan was not attacked again for many years. In 2569 he completed the great hall of Meduseld. At the feast his son Baldor vowed that he would tread 'the Paths of the Dead' and did not return. Brego died of grief the next year.> HE-SL-05 <The Marshals of the Mark {There}At Aldburg in the Folde Eorl had his house; it passed after Brego son of Eorl removed to Edoras into the hands of Eofor, third son of Brego, from whom Éomund, father of Éomer, claimed descent.>
HE-SL-06 <BFI Appendix (ii)
In ancient days the southern and eastern bounds of {the North Kingdom}Arnor had been the Greyflood; the western bounds of {the South Kingdom}Gondor was the Isen. To the land between (the Enedwaith or ‘middle region’) few Númenóreans had ever come, and none had settled there. In the days of the Kings it was HE-SL-07 {part of the realm of Gondor, but it was} of little concern to {them}the realm of Gondor, except for the patrolling and upkeep of the great Royal Road. This went ...... against any incursion from the ‘Wild Lands.’
But during the Watchful Peace (from 2063 to 2460) the people ..... Dunlendings drifted steadily and unchecked over the Isen.>
HE-SL-08 <Appendix A
Aldor the Old {- He} was Brego's second son. He became known as the Old, since he lived to a great age, and was king for 75 years. In his time the Rohirrim increased, and drove out or subdued the last of the Dunlendish people that lingered east of Isen HE-SL-09 <BFI Appendix (ii) and the Fords of Isen were guarded>. Harrowdale and other mountain-valleys were settled. Of the next three kings little is said, for Rohan had peace and prospered in their time.>
HE-SL-10 <BFI Appendix (ii)
{But under Brego and Aldor the Dunlendings were rooted out again and driven away beyond the Isen, and the Fords of Isen were guarded.} Thus the Rohirrim earned the hatred of the Dunlendings, which was not appeased until the return of the King, then far off in the future. Whenever the Rohirrim were weak or in trouble the Dunlendings renewed their attacks.
No alliance of peoples was ever more faithfully kept on both sides ...... amidst their cares the Stewards had forgotten the Tower, though they held the keys.
Yet the western frontier and the line of the Isen ...... latter days of the Stewards, that protection would not long avail.
So it proved. In the reign of King Déor (2699 to 2718) the Rohirrim ...... this was maintained until the great invasions of 2758.>

HE-SL-11 <Appendix A
Of the Kings of the Mark between Eorl and Théoden .... but called him to his councils; and he came when it pleased him.
To one of these councils Freca rode with many men, ...... and men laughed at that, for Freca was wide in the belt.
Then Freca fell in a rage and reviled the king, and said ..... king and his council have matters of moment to consider.’
When the council was over, Helm stood up and laid ...... far outnumbered them, and they drew back.
‘Now, Dunlending,’ said the king, ‘you have only Helm ..... that he fell back stunned, and died soon after.
Helm then proclaimed Freca's son and near kin the king's enemies; and they fled, for at once Helm sent many men riding to the west marches.

HE-SL-12 <Appendix A In the days of Beren, the nineteenth Steward, an even greater peril HE-SL-13 [than the Balchoth] came upon Gondor. Three great fleets, long prepared, came up from Umbar and the Harad, and assailed the coasts of Gondor in great force; and the enemy made many landings, even as far north as the mouth of the Isen.> {Four years later (2758) great troubles came to Rohan, and no help could be sent from Gondor, for three fleets of the Corsairs attacked it and there was war on all its coasts.} At the same time Rohan was again invaded from the East, and the Dunlendings seeing their chance came over the Isen and down from Isengard. It was soon known that Wulf was their leader. They were in great force, for they were joined by enemies of Gondor that landed in the mouths of Lefnui and Isen.
The Rohirrim were defeated and their land was overrun; ..... Helm's son fell, last of all, defending the doors.
Soon afterwards the Long Winter began, and Rohan ..... gathering to take him or kill him they fled away down the Coomb.
One night men heard the horn blowing, but Helm ...... would walk among the foes of Rohan and kill men with fear.
Soon after the winter broke. Then Fréaláf, son of Hild, Helm's sister, ...... by the roads both east and west of the mountains. HE-SL-14 <Appendix A {But}[For] in Gondor south of the mountains things were less evil, .... and when he succeeded his father (2763) Gondor began to recover its strength.> Thus, Before the year (2759) was ended the Dunlendings were driven out, even from Isengard; and then Fréaláf became king.
Helm was brought from the Hornburg and laid .... When Fréaláf died a new line of mounds was begun.

The Rohirrim were grievously reduced by war ..... That tower no enemy had been able to harm or to enter. HE-SL-15 <BFI Appendix (ii) {the}The Rohirrim returned to their policy of guarding the Fords of Isen, as the most vulnerable point in their western frontier.>
In this way Saruman began to behave as a lord of Men; ..... Isengard was in the hands of a strong friend. HE-SL-16 <BFI Appendix (ii) There can be little doubt that Saruman made his offer in good faith, .... either aiming at encircling Gondor or at invading Eriador.> {A friend he long seemed, and maybe in the beginning he was one in truth.} Though afterwards there was little doubt in men's minds that Saruman went ..... from all who hated Gondor and Rohan, whether Men or other creatures more evil.> HE-SL-17 <BFI Appendix (ii) {and yet the}The Rohirrim, though they later had warnings of his growing malice toward them, continued to put their main strength in the west at the Fords, until Saruman in open war showed them that the Fords were small protection without Isengard and still less against it.>
FY-HL-12: This chapter name seems to fit best, since we discuss the majority of the kings of Rohan here, or at least the most important ones.

HE-SL-01: I used this piece from the appendix to the Battles of the Fords of Isen, since it relates the trouble on the borders in which Eorl died. It also leads in directly from the end of the last chapter.

HE-SL-02: This needs to be changed since we need to be clear on what we are referencing.

HE-SL-03: Here I included information from Eorl's entry in the list of Kings of Rohan. This information is given nowhere else.

HE-SL-04: I did the same thing as I did when I discussed Vorondil, the successor of Mardil. I took the name (which is a headline in the original) and removed the paragraph and sentence openers in order to construct a sentence. I hope the editing is clear. We here discuss the ill-fated Baldor and his father's building of Meduseld.

HE-SL-05: This text is from a footnote to Marshals of the Mark, the appendix to The Battles of the Fords of Isen. The underlined text is actually the text which the footnote is added to, so i simply moved it into the footnote text. I think it is important to use this here instead of later on.

HE-SL-06: Here is where I moved the paragraph I had used previously, that Fin wisely advised be moved to a later place. Because of its shift, I changed the vague North and South Kingdom names to their proper names, so that there is no confusion.

HE-SL-07: This needs to change to fit all the other texts on the matter.

HE-SL-08: Here we go to the next entry in the kings of Rohan, edited to work as a narrative.

HE-SL-09: This is the only bit of information from the shorter BFI Appendix account that is missing from the Appendix A narrative.

HE-SL-10: Here we switch to the BFI Appendix, removing the summary of what we have just related. We have the introduction of the Dunlandings and king Deor, and set the stage for the conflict with Helm.

HE-SL-11: Here we switch back to the Appendix A narrative. This is the story of Helm and his struggles.

HE-SL-12: This is from the Stewards narrative of Appendix A, but it is relevant here, so I have moved it in order to form a singular narrative.

HE-SL-13: Since we have moved it, the antecedent to this phrase has been lost, so we must supply it. When we return to the Rohan narrative, some brief redundancy must be eliminated.

HE-SL-14: Here we again bring in the Stewards narrative to create a complete picture, with some light editing to make it flow well.

HE-SL-15: A detail from the BFI Appendix which is worth including.

HE-SL-16: These motivations of Saruman are not given elsewhere and are worth including.

HE-SL-17: This is another detail worth giving, as it sets the stage for the later narrative of the Battle of the Fords.
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Old 06-27-2018, 10:31 AM   #2
Findegil
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Join Date: Jul 2002
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The chapter seems straightforward. I have not much comment on:
HE-SL-09 & HE-SL-10: I think we should mix these additions a bit more.
Quote:
HE-SL-08<Appendix A Aldor the Old {- He} was Brego's second son. He became known as the Old, since he lived to a great age, and was king for 75 years. In his time the Rohirrim increased, and drove out or subdued the last of the Dunlendish people that lingered east of Isen HE-SL-09<BFI Appendix (ii) and the Fords of Isen were guarded>. Harrowdale and other mountain-valleys were settled. HE-SL-9.5<BFI Appendix (ii){But under Brego and Aldor the Dunlendings were rooted out again and driven away beyond the Isen, and the Fords of Isen were guarded.} Thus the Rohirrim earned the hatred of the Dunlendings, which was not appeased until the return of the King, then far off in the future. Whenever the Rohirrim were weak or in trouble the Dunlendings renewed their attacks.
>Of the next three kings little is said, for Rohan had peace and prospered in their time.>
HE-SL-10b<BFI Appendix (ii) No alliance of peoples was ever more faithfully kept …
Respectfully
Findegil

Last edited by Findegil; 06-27-2018 at 10:34 AM.
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Old 06-27-2018, 02:56 PM   #3
ArcusCalion
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Join Date: Aug 2017
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Agreed.
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