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11-13-2003, 05:31 PM
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#1 |
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La Belle Dame sans Merci
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: perpetual uncertainty
Posts: 5,956
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Alternative Endings
I have far too much fun tormenting those pitiful souls who 'don't have time' to finish the books and ask for the ending...
In my Trilogy class (yes... a class on the Lord of the Rings... *I'm so lucky*), some of us have read the books (in my case, multiple times), and some of us have not. Our grades are significantly lowered if we give away important things to the 'First Timers', so my buddy and I decided to flat out lie to the people who ask us to give things away. Or we tell half-lies. When asked who Bombadil is (before reaching his chapters), we answered that Bombadil is the Witch King (and then proceeded to argue our point and convince some of the more gullible that it's true). When asked if Gimli dies, I said "What do you think? Of course he dies. Nobody can fight thousands upon thousands of orcs multiple times and live! Legolas and Gimli both die in the last battle." When asked if Frodo does ever throw the Ring into Mount Doom, I said "No... but Sam pushes him in, so it doesn't matter anyway." The point of this thread? What do you all do when people ask about things that 'haven't happened yet'? Try not to generate a list. Explain your actions a little. Fea
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11-14-2003, 02:21 PM
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#2 |
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Shade of Carn Dūm
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Somewhere Else
Posts: 439
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I would love to have a trilogy class, but I don't...although I do have people asking for RotK spoilers when they haven't read the books...I particularly like telling people that whilst Frodo sails off to the undying lands, the ship sinks and they all die. Amazing how many people fall for that...*shakes head*
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Prevent Merry-abuse today! Join the S.A.M. (That's the Save-A-Merry foundation) Rivendell brought to you by the long lost sister of the guy who be short. |
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11-14-2003, 03:57 PM
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#3 |
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Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Gondor
Posts: 516
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My mom won't stop asking me what happens in RotK! She hasn't read any of the books, just seen the movies. She asked me if Frodo dies, because 'that elf woman'(Galadriel) said the quest would claim Frodo's life. I wouldn't answer her, so she said, 'Or maybe it means it will claim his life as in making him like Gollum!' So I ducked my head down and said, 'I guess it could mean that,' trying to confuse her. I think she thinks he's going to die, and I'm not saying anything to discourage that thought [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] But she keeps wanting to know stuff! I can not give away spoilers like that!!
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Will Turner: "This is either madness or brilliance." Jack Sparrow: "It's remarkable how often those two traits coincide." ~ Pirates of the Caribbean |
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11-14-2003, 04:13 PM
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#4 |
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Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: The World That Never Was
Posts: 1,312
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I always tell Leggie-boppers that Legolas dies in RotK. It's really funny how badly they fall for this; one girl actually burst into tears. [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img] I'm so mean.
Abedithon le, ~*~Aranel~*~
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The Hitchhiking Ghost |
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11-14-2003, 06:09 PM
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#5 |
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Shade of Carn Dūm
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Somewhere Else
Posts: 439
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Ah, I love when the leggy-boppers cry when you tell them Legolas dies in RotK...*chuckles* [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img]
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Prevent Merry-abuse today! Join the S.A.M. (That's the Save-A-Merry foundation) Rivendell brought to you by the long lost sister of the guy who be short. |
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11-14-2003, 06:36 PM
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#6 |
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Shade of Carn Dūm
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: in the cookie jar
Posts: 256
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One of my fellow-Legolas-obsessors asked if he died in the Last Battle. I told her that he didn't because Eowyn, after dumping Aragorn, falls madly in love with him and saves his life by stealing one of the wraith's flying steed thingies and sweeping him out of the way just before Sauron tries to stab him. Then Legolas and Eowyn share a passionate kiss while flying over the war-ravaged lands and escape to the undying lands because Frodo fails (Sam betrays him and makes a deal with gollum to murder him because they want the Ring) but know that they won't be safe forever because Sauron thinks that Legolas stole the ring and vows to kill him and so it ends up being a huge romantic tragedy... Explanation for my actions? Just watching my friend freak out and have a nervous breakdown and cry all over her Legolas posters... The shock of finding out Legolas gets a girlfriend and then dies only comes in her worst nightmares. Sometimes I think I can be really sadistic...
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"Let me handle this, I'm British." ~hitchhikers guide |
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11-15-2003, 08:20 PM
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#7 |
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Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: A place worse then Mordor........School!
Posts: 1,075
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I have a couple of friends who want to be spoiled as well. When asked who dies I told them that one of the hobbits dies.
In a way it's a riddle because a hobbit DOES die (Gollum). But most normal people wouldn't make the connection. The thing is, they decided to try reading the book. But instead of actually reading it they've skimmed it for anything that looks like a death. Therefore they are pinning over the death of Pippin after he loses consiousness under the troll. [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img]
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"There's nothing you can do, Harry... nothing... he's gone."-Remus Lupin "The closer we are to danger, the further we are from harm."-Pippin (now how can you argue with that logic?) |
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11-15-2003, 09:35 PM
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#8 | |
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Wight
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Bag End... On Frodo's laptop. Shhhh! Don't tell!
Posts: 240
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Quote:
A couple of my friends tried to "read" it, too. Meaning they skipped to the last pages of the book (before the appendecies) and read a bit. So now they know that Frodo "goes on his boat" and "sails away" ...That's about it, though. I like to play with their minds, sometimes. And this thread is giving me good ideas...
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"I did not see the Balrog until I saw the film! He was -- it was -- just a yellow tennis ball on top of a pole for me to shout at. I felt like screaming 'You shall not bounce!'" ~Sir Ian McKellen October 20, 2005 - 1st Annual Golden Ring Marathon! Spread the Word! |
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11-16-2003, 05:29 PM
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#9 |
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La Belle Dame sans Merci
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: perpetual uncertainty
Posts: 5,956
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I did it again... tormenting more people. Somebody asked me if any main characters die in the Last Battle, so I told them. I claimed that a very large number of main characters kick the bucket. And it's true. I just allowed the people to think that the ones who go were Frodo, Sam, Gimli, Legolas, and Arwen, rather than Denathor, et. al. Muahahahahaha [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img] . I'm really quite mean.
Fea
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11-17-2003, 06:12 AM
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#10 |
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Auspicious Wraith
Join Date: May 2002
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 4,992
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My mother was getting a bit suspicious of Sam when she was reading the book. She thought he was being a bit too nice to Frodo.
So I told her that Sam does indeed turn character, murder Frodo, claim the Ring, become the New Dark Lord, come close to enslaving the entire world, but Frodo is avenged by Merry, who kills Sam and becomes King of Middle Earth. (Pippin having been killed in battle with Sauron) Needless to say, she didn't believe me!
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Los Ingobernables de Harlond |
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11-17-2003, 02:21 PM
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#11 |
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Haunting Spirit
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Thangorodrim
Posts: 59
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i have to admit i consorted the obvious yet absurd.... i told my friend that Smeagol ate Frodo's Ring when he tried to bite his finger off... i was a bit bored at the time [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]
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Walking to Rivendell: 130 miles. tiring it is too precious.... |
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11-17-2003, 02:55 PM
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Wight
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: England
Posts: 201
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i told a gullible girl at school that i couldn't wait to see how they worked in teh death of gimli.
she believed me, she's stupid- she once believed that indians had their eyes removed for money because they were poor and sent them to the western world for people who want eye transplants...she even asked whether you could choose the colour... [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]
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no one in particular |
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11-17-2003, 03:37 PM
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#13 |
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Shade of Carn Dūm
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Imladris
Posts: 288
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Lol; my brother kept asking me if Gandalf was really dead. I said yes, but he kept saying, "I don't believe you." When TTT came out, he said, "Ha! I was right." He's such a jerk; he does that for everything. If he had never seen the sky during the day, and if you told him (at night) that it was green, he'd say, "I don't believe you." When he sees that the sky is blue during the day, he'll say, "Ha! I was right." [img]smilies/mad.gif[/img] [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]
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"Walrus?! Will you quit makin' up imaginary animals?!!" ~ Sarge; Red vs. Blue |
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11-18-2003, 05:42 PM
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#14 |
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La Belle Dame sans Merci
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: perpetual uncertainty
Posts: 5,956
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Hehehe! I had "I love seeing the Leggy-boppers cry when you tell them he dies" quoted in my profile and a friend of mine (who hasn't read the books) read it. Then asked about it. Now she thinks that Legolas dies. It's a lot easier to lie online than face to face... Muahahaha [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img] So then, I walked into Chemistry this morning and heard her telling some more friends that Legolas dies. Haha. Spread the word... Legolas kicks the bucket. The reactions are funny. I just thought of something: wouldn't it be funny if Legolas actually, literally, kicked a bucket in RotK? Haha. Cheers,
Fea
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11-18-2003, 11:35 PM
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#15 | |
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Shade of Carn Dūm
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Somewhere Else
Posts: 439
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Quote:
I once told someone online that Frodo falls in Mount Doom, after losing his finger. Sam then kills Gollum, then because of lack of food, and love for Frodo, he threw himself in Mt. Doom. Then the rest of the fellowship came looking for them, Aragorn at the lead, but Sauron took up his armoured form once more and slew Aragorn. Merry died trying to protect Eowyn from the witchking, and Pippin was the only one who got back to the Shire safely. Afterwards, he couldn't take living without his best bud, and cousin, and eventually sailed off to the Undying Lands. Arwen killed herself, Legolas got bloodily decapitated. Gimli made it through unscathed. Elrond disowned Arwen after her death, and Elladan and Elrohir became kings... and...they actually fell for every single little bit of it. *shakes head* It's too easy. Especially on-line. *chuckles* [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img]
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Prevent Merry-abuse today! Join the S.A.M. (That's the Save-A-Merry foundation) Rivendell brought to you by the long lost sister of the guy who be short. |
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11-19-2003, 12:34 AM
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Scion of The Faithful
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: The brink, where hope and despair are akin. [The Philippines]
Posts: 5,430
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By the way, it is a common misconcepion(in here, at least...) that Gollum will jump after the Ring after Frodo throws it in. I tell them that Frodo will jump into Mt. Doom, because he was a geologist, and he wanted to collect lava samples from the only active volcano in Middle Earth. Now who'd be dumb enough to believe me... Later days! [img]smilies/cool.gif[/img] ->Elenrod
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フェンリス鴨 (Fenrisu Kamo) The plot, cut, defeated. I intend to copy this sig forever - so far so good...
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11-19-2003, 08:11 AM
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#17 |
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Pile O'Bones
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Buckland
Posts: 15
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ha! i remember in ttt when aragorn falls off the cliff EVERYONE thought he died.... goodtimes... they were all like "he DIED?!"... those poor viggo fans... im just like "yup!!" hurrah he dies!!... next eowyn and arwen both die of a briken heart and frodo dispairs and ends up giving away the ring..." and on and on and on... daaaang! they all fell for it hook, line, and sinker!
needless to say they were very mad at me later on in the movie when they found out it wasn't true....
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Merry;) |
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11-21-2003, 08:49 PM
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#18 |
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Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Nowhere...now here
Posts: 1,049
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I wish I could find a leggy-bopper who has not read the books! I only know one, and she started reading them right after she saw FotR, so I have no chance of fooling her. Though I could say I've heard rumours of how the movie will be different from the books, and that Legolas will die...Nevermind, she comes here, so she would find out that I lied. (She's Orlando's Top Fangirl here.)
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Don't let me die! |
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11-21-2003, 11:06 PM
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#19 | |
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Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: As with the flygja
Posts: 1,612
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I'm cursed with those pestering questions. But, my all time favorite is this:
someone asks me: "how does Frodo destroy the ring in the end? Does Gollum die?" The Ka's response: "Well, actually he doesn't really destory it. He looses it in a gambling match on mt. Doom with gollum. Yes, gollum dies, because he slipped into the crack of it. Then surprisenly, (this is my favorite part. when i tell them this their eyes light up! [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img] ) The ring right before gollum falls into mt. doom breaks in half! one half goes with gollum into mt.doom and the other half frodo swallows to save middle-earth. And that's why he's forced to leave middle-earth in the end of the book." Yeah, i know. Just say it. I'm a cruel hearted spirit. But, hey, these people try to get out of reading the book anyway. Might as well make them feel the regret when they talk to someone who's actually read it. [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img] Quote:
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Vinur, vinur skilur tś meg? Veitst tś ongan loyniveg? Hevur tś reikaš lķka sum eg, ķ endaleysu tokuni? |
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11-22-2003, 06:07 PM
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#20 |
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La Belle Dame sans Merci
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: perpetual uncertainty
Posts: 5,956
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Well, my friend (who saw the profile) is in multiple classes with me. After I told her that Legolas dies, she decided that she didn't want to see the movie and told other Leggy-boppers not to bother going (they only see it for him anyways...), but here's the funny part:
I was sitting in my class reading the Wallstreet Journal's Classroom Edition when I hear vaguely: "So... what do you think of the ending of the Lord of the Rings?" "Uh... which part?" "The part where Legolas dies!" "What are you talking about? Legolas doesn't die! Who told you that?" *all of the Leggy-boppers plus the one who set them straight then turn on me* "FEA! (real name replaced [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img] ) I can't believe you told us he dies!!! What were you thinking??????" Me: *laughing uncontrollably* "But it was sooooo easy!!!" Needless to say, I was shunned for the next two hours... that is until lunch, when they all decided that I could be forgiven. Haha. It was too easy... and so fun. All the Tolkienites in my school knew what I had done, but I forgot to tell "Mary" to keep them in the dark. It's only fair that if they refuse to read the best books of the Millenium, that they should be continually misled on the ending of them. Giving it away is cheating! Fea
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11-23-2003, 11:05 AM
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#21 |
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Shadowed Prince
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Thulcandra
Posts: 2,496
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My friend Alice asked me why it was called the Return of the King. I said because Aragorn bacame king. She look surprised and said "Aragorn becomes king? Of where?" I saw the chance to do some inventing and took it:
"Yeah, didn't you guess? Aragorn is actually half mermaid, he goes to the sea and gets all the fish t join the war. The eagles fly the fish to Mt. Doom where they release them into the lava, so that the fish can watch over Frodo and Sam." She actually believed me until her common sense kicked in (approximately 6 seconds). |
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11-23-2003, 11:21 AM
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#22 |
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Deathless Sun
Join Date: May 2003
Location: The Royal Suite in the Halls of Mandos
Posts: 2,609
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Haha! That is absolutely wonderful! There are quite a few snotty cheerleader-types at my school who are too lazy to read the books, so they ask me about the ending. Let's just say, I've told one person that Frodo and Sam die halfway in Mordor, Gollum gets the Ring, but Aragorn captures him, becomes extremely bad, dumps Arwen, who commits suicide by jumping off a cliff, marries Eowyn (who by now is also bad), kills Theoden and Eomer, defeats Sauron, and takes over all of Middle-earth with Legolas and Gimli as his right-hand Men (or Elf and Dwarf, whatever!), Merry and Pippin as his jesters, and Gandalf as his court magician.
Let's just say, that snotty cheerleader-type, actually believed me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Then, she saw The Two Towers, and came back and started insulting me with a vengeance. I just told her that if she was stupid enough to believe what I had told her, then she deserved it!
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But Melkor also was there, and he came to the house of Fėanor, and there he slew Finwė King of the Noldor before his doors, and spilled the first blood in the Blessed Realm; for Finwė alone had not fled from the horror of the Dark. |
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11-23-2003, 01:57 PM
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Shade of Carn Dūm
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Up a tree somewhere in Caras Galadhon...or England
Posts: 364
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But yeah, I might have convinced someone Leggy dies, but I don't know. We were all sitting at a table and my friend asked me...I said they all survived I think...yeah...but another friend didn't hear me, and when she asked me I said Leggy died. But my first friend is the kind of person who will reveal any dastardly plots on friends rather than go along with them...grrr [img]smilies/mad.gif[/img]
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'"Forweg can lead you no longer; for he is dead...I slew him...I will govern this fellowship now, or leave it." "As it was when he joined us, so it is again. He kills to make room."' |
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11-26-2003, 12:14 PM
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#24 |
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Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Nowhere...now here
Posts: 1,049
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A friend asked me if Frodo dies in RotK, and I told her yes, he does, because he becomes evil and takes the ring and Sam has to push him into Mt. Doom. She got tears in her eyes, and I felt a little bad about lying, so I told her I lied and Frodo doesn't die, but she didn't believe me. She still thinks Frodo dies! It was fun... [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img] Gotta find someone else who hasn't read the books!
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Don't let me die! |
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11-26-2003, 12:55 PM
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#25 | |
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Haunted Halfling
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: an uncounted length of steps--floating between air molecules
Posts: 844
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Cheers, Lyta P.S. I haven't found any other hobbit-fanciers in my area! They're all on about Legolas and Aragorn--every one of them! Oh well! At least my husband isn't! His favorites are Gandalf and Gollum...
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she laid herself to rest upon Cerin Amroth; and there is her green grave, until the world is changed, and all the days of her life are utterly forgotten by men that come after, and elanor and niphredil bloom no more east of the Sea. |
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11-27-2003, 12:24 PM
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#26 |
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Shadowed Prince
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Thulcandra
Posts: 2,496
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Oh, I have fun with a non-reading friend. He gets really confused, and I've given him so many alternate ending he doesn't know what's what. Poor guy.
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11-27-2003, 12:46 PM
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#27 |
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La Belle Dame sans Merci
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: perpetual uncertainty
Posts: 5,956
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I met a new one! Sort of. I just heard about her in one of those "I can NOT believe she does that" story sort of ways. This girl... She's never read the books, she's seen only one of the movies, and yet she has a lifesize cardboard Legolas in her bedroom and used the word *shudder* "Arwen" in her e-mail address! The girl I was talking to at the time had never heard the term Leggy-bopper, so she got a good laugh.
Happy Turkey-day. God Bless the old English for persecuting the Pilgrims out of their country and into The New World. Cheers- Fea [ 2:49 PM November 27, 2003: Message edited by: Feanor of the Peredhil ]
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peace
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11-30-2003, 12:21 PM
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#28 | |
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Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Nowhere...now here
Posts: 1,049
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Quote:
Tell a Leggybopper this joke: What is the yucky stuff between oliphaunt's toes? Slow elves! Then tell her Legolas is stepped on by an oliphaunt. [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img] He was trying to save Pippin from being stepped on, so he ran to push Pippin out of the way, but in the process got stepped on himself. *squish* (add the sound effects for added fun) [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img] [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img] [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img]
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Don't let me die! |
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11-30-2003, 12:39 PM
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#29 |
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La Belle Dame sans Merci
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: perpetual uncertainty
Posts: 5,956
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EEK! This thread seems to have gone off topic (partly my own fault, what with all my Leggy-bopper tormenting stories...). Back to sharing alternate endings before our wonderfully kind, caring, humorous, and pitying mods get mad and close my thread!
Here's a new ending: As Frodo and Sam near Mount Doom, they are robbed by Gollum. He, of course, stole their bags in hopes of finding the Ring. Sadly, he doesn't get it, but he does take all of Frodo and Sam's food, so they begin to starve. It gets to the point where they are crawling through a bunch of boulders when they give up. The eagles show up on Gandalf's orders (the orders being "Get them and bring them to Mount Doom"), however Gandalf had a slight headcold, so Gwaihir heard the orders as "Get them and fling them into Mount Doom." He happily obliges and that is the end of Frodo Ring-bearer, Samwise Gardening-Body-Guard, and the Ring of Doom. Fea
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