Ask a stupid question - Page 5 - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Hookbill the Goomba · 09-20-2006, 02:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Volo

Q: Why don't the Winged Beasts fly away from the Nazgul?

A: The Nazgul's metal boots were welded to the Beast's skin.

Q: Did Sauron ever really need the Ring or was he just trying to get a new career in Jewellery making?

The Elf-warrior · 09-21-2006, 04:03 PM

Quote:

Q: Did Sauron ever really need the Ring or was he just trying to get a new career in Jewellery making?

A: He needed it to disguise the weld on his ring finger.

Who was Saruman?

Morsul the Dark · 09-21-2006, 04:43 PM

Saruman

Shady
And
Really
Unhappy
Mean
Annoying
Nerd

Saruman is a neerd who was such a big fan of gandalf he copied him and then became leader of the local D&D club

Why does Leglas love his hair

Rikae · 09-21-2006, 05:36 PM

Why does Legolas love his hair?

It conceals the bizarre tattoo he got on his scalp as youthful elf (in his early 200's).

Why are hobbits afraid of the water?

Farael · 09-21-2006, 09:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rikae

Why are hobbits afraid of the water?

They are Nazghul in disguise.

Why are the Nazghul afraid of water?
(yes, I'm stealing from you Rikae, hope you don't mind)

Hookbill the Goomba · 09-22-2006, 12:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Farael

Why are the Nazghul afraid of water?

They are Hobbits in disguise.

Q: Why did Tom Bombadill sing all the time?

Volo · 09-22-2006, 05:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

Q: Why did Tom Bombadill sing all the time?

A: He was afraid of being suffocated.

Q: Why did Meduseld have a golden roof?

elronds_daughter · 09-22-2006, 09:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Volo

Q: Why did Meduseld have a golden roof?

Because platinum was too expensive.

Q: Why did Aragorn use several different aliases?

Kitanna · 09-22-2006, 09:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elronds_daughter

Q: Why did Aragorn use several different aliases?

A: He was wanted for tax fraud all across Middle-Earth.

Why didn't anyone ride donkeys in Middle-Earth?

Morsul the Dark · 09-22-2006, 06:53 PM

thy did The Black steeds were actually donkeys

Where do hobbits come from?

HerenIstarion · 09-22-2006, 07:00 PM

Q. Where do hobbits come from?

A. Ah, the story here is almost as it is with fairies - hobbits come from hobbies. Each time a human takes up new hobby, somewhere out there hobbit pops out of the air into existence. Unfortunately, they die the same way - each time a human abandons a hobby, a hobbit dissapears with a plop... alas...

Q. Always wondered, what are real means of waking up drunken goblins, leaving aside elves singing?

The Elf-warrior · 09-22-2006, 09:11 PM

Quote:

Q. Always wondered, what are real means of waking up drunken goblins, leaving aside elves singing?

A: Calling them an upstart or an isosceles triangle is quite effective. If that doesn't work, try pulling their legs.

Are there tomatoes in Middle-earth?

HerenIstarion · 09-22-2006, 10:14 PM

Q. Are there tomatoes in Middle-earth?

Not any more. There were some brought from Numenor, but most were eaten up by the Last Alliance during Great Siege, and the last one has been squashed at Sauron's face by joint effort of Elendil and Isildur (you see, weapons broken et al, they have had nothing more suitable handy). In memory of the event (as he was lucky and noone destroyed his Precious), Sauron has chosen Single Red Squashed Tomato for a badge. But orkses are uncultured and uneducated folk, never coming to know particulars of vegetable-growing, so they've thought it was Single Red Eye.

Q. There are some things money can't buy. What is for everything else in ME?

The Elf-warrior · 09-23-2006, 09:35 AM

Quote:

Q. There are some things money can't buy. What is for everything else in ME?

Brute force.

Who is the Necromancer?

elronds_daughter · 09-23-2006, 02:46 PM

Who is the Necromancer?

Allison DuBois.

Q: Why was Sauron embodied as a huge eye?

Hookbill the Goomba · 09-23-2006, 02:53 PM

Quote:

Q: Why was Sauron embodied as a huge eye?

A: He wasn't. He was embodied as a full grown man. Yet he had a strange eye desease that made his eye super huge and full of fire.

Q: Who did Trebeard like better? Merry, or Pippin?

elronds_daughter · 09-23-2006, 02:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hookbill

Q: Who did Treebeard like better? Merry, or Pippin?

A: Merry, of course. Now if he could only find someone named Christmas, he'd be set.

Which brings me to a question...
Q: Did Ents ever look like Christmas trees?

Volo · 09-23-2006, 03:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

Q: Who did Trebeard like better? Merry, or Pippin?

A: Really hard to compare... Merry was rather sweet, but gave a nasty bitter aftertaste which Treebeard didn't like. Pippin on the other hand was chewy and tasteless, though he contained a lot of calcium and with red ent-drought had a nice subtle taste. Treebeard would prefer to eat both of them again.

Q: Why did Roäc have a bald spot?

elronds_daughter · 09-23-2006, 03:02 PM

Uh-oh...cross-post...

Naria · 09-23-2006, 04:02 PM

Daughter you technically had your post up first, so it's your question next. If you have an answer for Volo's...that seems to work the best. Then put your question up again.

or whatevers

The Sixth Wizard · 09-23-2006, 06:34 PM

Why did Roäc have a bald spot?

He wanted to emulate the American Bald Eagle, ignorant of the fact that they aren't actually bald.

And...

Q: Did Ents ever look like Christmas trees?

A: Yes. In fact, that's where the Entwives went. You see, many of Santa's elves rebelled against their master after Christmas went missing, and swore a deadly oath to regain Christmas from whomsoever took it from them (incidentally it was the Grinch), and Santa did not have enough elves to go around. So he enslaved the Entwife populace and stuck 'presents' underneath them, and cut them down to make all his wooden toys. Mean old person.

Why didn't the Valar just forgive the Noldor after Feanor died and killed off Morgoth earlier?

The Elf-warrior · 09-23-2006, 10:40 PM

Q: Why didn't the Valar just forgive the Noldor after Feanor died and killed off Morgoth earlier?

A: Because they were waiting for Venus to come.

Q: Who can stand against both Sauron and Saruman?

Gil-Galad · 09-24-2006, 02:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Elf-warrior

[B]
Q: Who can stand against both Sauron and Saruman?

A: Why, Johnny the Stinky Balrog of course!!

Q: Why did the Mumak cross the Harad-Road?

elronds_daughter · 09-24-2006, 07:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gil-Galad

Q: Why did the Mumak cross the Harad-Road?

A: Because someone was pulling on its ear. It didn't want to go, but it didn't have a choice! Poor thing.

Q: What was it with the Haradrim and face-paint?

Farael · 09-25-2006, 09:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elronds_daughter

Q: What was it with the Haradrim and face-paint?

A: Not everyone can afford good make-up! And they had to cover that BAD acne somehow.

Q: howcome Ents, living for thousands of years and always drinking Ent draughts did not grow to unfathomable heights? (after all, if Merry and Pippin grew noticeably after only a few drinks, what could a few ages of drinking do to an Ent?)

Volo · 09-25-2006, 10:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Farael

Q: howcome Ents, living for thousands of years and always drinking Ent draughts did not grow to unfathomable heights? (after all, if Merry and Pippin grew noticeably after only a few drinks, what could a few ages of drinking do to an Ent?)

A: In reality Ents hate the flavour of Ent draught and spit it out when noone is looking.

Q: Why did Turin kill himself?

elronds_daughter · 09-26-2006, 08:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Volo

Q: Why did Turin kill himself?

A: He didn't. He hired a stunt double to do it for him.

Q: How'd Gandalf go from being "the Grey" to being "the White" again?

Brinniel · 09-26-2006, 02:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elronds_daughter

Q: How'd Gandalf go from being "the Grey" to being "the White" again?

A: One word: bleach

Q: Why did Pippin look into the palantir?

Farael · 09-26-2006, 10:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brinniel

Q: Why did Pippin look into the palantir?

A: 'cos he wanted to use it to see why in Eru's name the chicken crossed the road.

Q: Why is there no mention of female orcs?

Volo · 09-27-2006, 11:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Farael

Q: Why is there no mention of female orcs?

A: Yes there is! They are called Dwarves...

Q: What was the One Ring really made of?

Hookbill the Goomba · 09-27-2006, 11:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Volo

Q: What was the One Ring really made of?

A; 10,000 year old Chocolate.

Q: Why did Feanor burst into flames when he died?

elronds_daughter · 09-27-2006, 03:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

Q: Why did Feanor burst into flames when he died?

A: A balrog was hiding under his skin.

Q: How did they know when all the ages ended?

HerenIstarion · 09-27-2006, 03:46 PM

Q. How did they know when all the ages ended?

A. Big counter in the sky went to zero and stopped there

Q. Were there schools in the Shire?

Nogrod · 09-27-2006, 04:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HerenIstarion

Q. Were there schools in the Shire?

A: Thinking about the seemingly high literacy among the Hobbits, there must have been. And how else would one be able to explain the generous free time the adults seem to have had in Shire if the kids were not some elsewhere most of the day?

Q: Was there ever an uprising, or a popular dissatisfaction, against the reign of Aragorn in the Shire?

doom_hammer · 09-28-2006, 02:43 AM

A:i guess there would be after all they didnt get to vote on it

Q: what would a half elf halk man be called

Thinlómien · 09-28-2006, 03:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by doom_hammer

Q: what would a half elf halk man be called

A: Agent Smith.

Q: Why didn't Frodo marry?

doom_hammer · 09-28-2006, 03:11 AM

orignally posted by Thinlomien
Q: Why didn't Frodo marry?

A: he had a love affiar with sam

Q:why dont they use guns

Hookbill the Goomba · 09-28-2006, 07:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by doom_hammer

Q:why dont they use guns

A: They were SO last age!

Q: What did Denethor really keep in the Tower?

elronds_daughter · 09-28-2006, 09:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

Q: What did Denethor really keep in the Tower?

A: A harem! Either that or a demented ex-girlfriend. I can't remember which.

Q: Did balrogs have wings?

Rikae · 09-28-2006, 12:47 PM

Did Balrogs have wings?

They did, until Pippin and Denethor cut them off and ate them.

Did the river folk have beards?

09-21-2006, 04:43 PM	#163
Morsul the Dark Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 3,502	Saruman Shady And Really Unhappy Mean Annoying Nerd Saruman is a neerd who was such a big fan of gandalf he copied him and then became leader of the local D&D club Why does Leglas love his hair __________________ Morsul the Resurrected

09-22-2006, 06:53 PM	#170
Morsul the Dark Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 3,502	thy did The Black steeds were actually donkeys Where do hobbits come from? __________________ Morsul the Resurrected

09-22-2006, 07:00 PM	#171
HerenIstarion Deadnight Chanter Join Date: Sep 2000 Posts: 4,301	Q. Where do hobbits come from? A. Ah, the story here is almost as it is with fairies - hobbits come from hobbies. Each time a human takes up new hobby, somewhere out there hobbit pops out of the air into existence. Unfortunately, they die the same way - each time a human abandons a hobby, a hobbit dissapears with a plop... alas... Q. *Always wondered, what are* real means of waking up drunken goblins, leaving aside elves singing?** __________________ Egroeg Ihkhsal - Would you believe in the love at first sight? - Yes I'm certain that it happens all the time!

09-22-2006, 10:14 PM	#173
HerenIstarion Deadnight Chanter Join Date: Sep 2000 Posts: 4,301	Q. Are there tomatoes in Middle-earth? Not any more. There were some brought from Numenor, but most were eaten up by the Last Alliance during Great Siege, and the last one has been squashed at Sauron's face by joint effort of Elendil and Isildur (you see, weapons broken et al, they have had nothing more suitable handy). In memory of the event (as he was lucky and noone destroyed his Precious), Sauron has chosen Single Red Squashed Tomato for a badge. But orkses are uncultured and uneducated folk, never coming to know particulars of vegetable-growing, so they've thought it was Single Red Eye. Q. There are some things money can't buy. What is for everything else in ME? __________________ Egroeg Ihkhsal - Would you believe in the love at first sight? - Yes I'm certain that it happens all the time!

09-23-2006, 02:46 PM	#175
elronds_daughter Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: May 2004 Location: Between the fortune cookie and the post-its. Posts: 740	Who is the Necromancer? Allison DuBois. Q: Why was Sauron embodied as a huge eye? __________________ I'd like to be the king of all Londinium and wear a shiny hat.

09-21-2006, 05:36 PM	#164
Rikae Mellifluous Maia Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: A glade open to the stars, deep in Nan Elmoth Posts: 3,533	Why does Legolas love his hair? It conceals the bizarre tattoo he got on his scalp as youthful elf (in his early 200's). Why are hobbits afraid of the water?

09-23-2006, 03:02 PM	#179
elronds_daughter Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: May 2004 Location: Between the fortune cookie and the post-its. Posts: 740	Uh-oh...cross-post... __________________ I'd like to be the king of all Londinium and wear a shiny hat.

09-23-2006, 04:02 PM	#180
Naria Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 501	Daughter you technically had your post up first, so it's your question next. If you have an answer for Volo's...that seems to work the best. Then put your question up again. or whatevers __________________ MONEY Anyone who says it doesn't buy happiness.....is probably broke.

09-23-2006, 06:34 PM	#181
The Sixth Wizard Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Stuck under a rock in Valinor with Ar-Pharazon. Posts: 495	Why did Roäc have a bald spot? He wanted to emulate the American Bald Eagle, ignorant of the fact that they aren't actually bald. And... Q: Did Ents ever look like Christmas trees? A: Yes. In fact, that's where the Entwives went. You see, many of Santa's elves rebelled against their master after Christmas went missing, and swore a deadly oath to regain Christmas from whomsoever took it from them (incidentally it was the Grinch), and Santa did not have enough elves to go around. So he enslaved the Entwife populace and stuck 'presents' underneath them, and cut them down to make all his wooden toys. Mean old person. Why didn't the Valar just forgive the Noldor after Feanor died and killed off Morgoth earlier?

09-23-2006, 10:40 PM	#182
The Elf-warrior Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Virginia. Posts: 952	Q: Why didn't the Valar just forgive the Noldor after Feanor died and killed off Morgoth earlier? A: Because they were waiting for Venus to come. Q: Who can stand against both Sauron and Saruman? __________________ Fenris Wolf: WW LXXX.

09-27-2006, 03:46 PM	#193
HerenIstarion Deadnight Chanter Join Date: Sep 2000 Posts: 4,301	Q. How did they know when all the ages ended? A. Big counter in the sky went to zero and stopped there Q. Were there schools in the Shire? __________________ Egroeg Ihkhsal - Would you believe in the love at first sight? - Yes I'm certain that it happens all the time!

09-28-2006, 02:43 AM	#195
doom_hammer Haunting Spirit Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 73	Q: Was there ever an uprising, or a popular dissatisfaction, against the reign of Ara A:i guess there would be after all they didnt get to vote on it Q: what would a half elf halk man be called

09-28-2006, 03:11 AM	#197
doom_hammer Haunting Spirit Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 73	orignally posted by Thinlomien Q: Why didn't Frodo marry? A: he had a love affiar with sam Q:why dont they use guns

09-28-2006, 12:47 PM	#200
Rikae Mellifluous Maia Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: A glade open to the stars, deep in Nan Elmoth Posts: 3,533	Did Balrogs have wings? They did, until Pippin and Denethor cut them off and ate them. Did the river folk have beards?

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