Tolkien puns

[red]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Wight
Posts: 165</TD><TD><img src=http://bestanimations.com/Science/Biology/DNA/DNA-02.gif WIDTH=60 HEIGHT=60></TD></TR></TABLE>
Ok, folks! Put on your silly hats! Let's see how many Tolkien or Middle Earth puns we can come up with to keep ourselves laughing!

Here's one to get us started. Care of our own Underhill...

Elrond Hubbard. &lt;groan&gt; <img src=wink.gif ALT="">

-réd

<blockquote><font size=2>

"He was as noble and as fair in face as an elf-lord, as strong as a warrior, as wise as a wizard, as venerable as a king of dwarves, and as kind as summer."</p>

-A Short Rest, The Hobbit</p></blockquote></p>

[The Barrow-Wight]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Wraith of Angmar
Posts: 1851</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: Tolkien puns

Beorn to be Wild

The Barrow-Wight (RKittle)
<font size="2">I usually haunt http://www.barrowdowns.comThe Barrow-Downs</a> and The Barrow-Downs http://www.barrowdowns.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgiMiddle-Earth Discussion Board</a>.</p>

[Mister Underhill]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Shade of Carn Dûm
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Re: Tolkien puns

You can't have Elrond Hubbard without Dunedianetics and Sci-Ent-ology.

&quot;That dwarf is a Thorin in my side!&quot;

&quot;I do not Dain to reply.&quot;

Let me think on this some more....


</p>

[The Barrow-Wight]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Wraith of Angmar
Posts: 1852</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: Tolkien puns

Battlefield Middle-Earth

The Barrow-Wight (RKittle)
<font size="2">I usually haunt http://www.barrowdowns.comThe Barrow-Downs</a> and The Barrow-Downs http://www.barrowdowns.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgiMiddle-Earth Discussion Board</a>.</p>

[red]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Wight
Posts: 166</TD><TD><img src=http://bestanimations.com/Science/Biology/DNA/DNA-02.gif WIDTH=60 HEIGHT=60></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: Tolkien puns

What are you Tolkien about?

I wasn't Tolkien to you!

Then who were you Tolkien to?

<blockquote><font size=2>

"He was as noble and as fair in face as an elf-lord, as strong as a warrior, as wise as a wizard, as venerable as a king of dwarves, and as kind as summer."</p>

-A Short Rest, The Hobbit</p></blockquote></p>

[Zoe]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Wight
Posts: 198</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: Tolkien puns

I can only come up with one:

A Wight Christmas.

(how appropriate for this board, hey? <img src=wink.gif ALT=""> )

</p>

[The Barrow-Wight]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Wraith of Angmar
Posts: 1853</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: Tolkien puns

Good one, Zoe!

Between a Roäc and a Bard place.

The Barrow-Wight (RKittle)
<font size="2">I usually haunt http://www.barrowdowns.comThe Barrow-Downs</a> and The Barrow-Downs http://www.barrowdowns.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgiMiddle-Earth Discussion Board</a>.</p>

[Mister Underhill]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Shade of Carn Dûm
Posts: 414</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: Tolkien puns

Háma and cheese sandwich.

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of Curunír. That's what I always say.


</p>

[The Barrow-Wight]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Wraith of Angmar
Posts: 1854</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: Tolkien puns

A pound of Curunir sounds like a heap of trouble to me.

I always read the Faramir's Almanac to find the best weather when I ride in the Tuor de France. Sindar-ella greets me at the finish line.

The Barrow-Wight (RKittle)
<font size="2">I usually haunt http://www.barrowdowns.comThe Barrow-Downs</a> and The Barrow-Downs http://www.barrowdowns.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgiMiddle-Earth Discussion Board</a>.</p>Edited by: <A HREF=http://www.barrowdowns.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_profile&u=00000002>RKittle</A>&nbsp; <IMG SRC=http://www.barrowdowns.com/images/oneringicon.gif BORDER=0 WIDTH=10 HEIGHT=10> at: 2/10/01 10:10:24 pm

[enep]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Shade of Carn Dûm
Posts: 284</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Puns!

How about a Water-Melian? <img src=devil.gif ALT=":evil">

That's terrible, I know. To get that evil pun out of your mind, here's a Shakespeare one:

&quot;There is something rotten in the state of Denethor's.&quot;

- enep</p>Edited by: <A HREF=http://www.barrowdowns.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_profile&u=00000041>enep</A> at: 2/10/01 11:06:10 pm

[red]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Wight
Posts: 167</TD><TD><img src=http://bestanimations.com/Science/Biology/DNA/DNA-02.gif WIDTH=60 HEIGHT=60></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: Puns!

Some of these are real groaners, I know. <img src=biggrin.gif ALT=""> Almost all are Underhill's, but I threw in one as well.

Lawyer to his assitant: &quot;Could you get me the Phial of Galadriel?&quot;

Húrin my seat!

Tuor better than one.

HoME, HoME on the ranger!
Where the Dior and the Atani play.

With a Grishnákh, paddy-wack, give a dog a bone... this old man came rolling HoME!

Egg-Nauglamír

Glóin injury.

-réd




<blockquote><font size=2>

"He was as noble and as fair in face as an elf-lord, as strong as a warrior, as wise as a wizard, as venerable as a king of dwarves, and as kind as summer."</p>

-A Short Rest, The Hobbit</p></blockquote></p>

[enep]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Shade of Carn Dûm
Posts: 285</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
More Puns!

Ah! I got another Shakespeare one.

&quot;Neither Boromir, nor of the Lindar be.&quot;

And another:

&quot;And the rest is the Shire.&quot;

And an actual quote from King Lear:

&quot;Poor Tom's a-cold.&quot; <img src=wink.gif ALT="">

And two other, non-Shakespeare ones:

&quot;Pass us the Grond!&quot;

&quot;The Baggins did it!&quot;



- enep</p>Edited by: <A HREF=http://www.barrowdowns.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_profile&u=00000041>enep</A> at: 2/10/01 11:22:10 pm

[HerenIstarion]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Ghost-Prince of Cardolan
Posts: 598</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: More Puns!

Ted Sandyman (or his father) mocking Bilbo's comversation with Smaug;

'I come from under the mill, and under the mills and over the mills my paths led.'

<a href=http://www.geocities.com/gl_century/HerenIstarion.html>HerenIstarion</a></p>

[Voronwe]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Wight
Posts: 142</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: More Puns!

I'm Balin out.



-Voronwë
<font size="2">"For Aldarion had become enamoured of the Great Sea, and of a ship riding there alone without sight of land, borne by the winds with foam at its throat to coasts and havens unguessed; and that love and desire never left him until his life's end."</p>

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Pile o' Bones
Posts: 12</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: More Puns!

Didn't Elves Presley sing a song entitled, &quot;Return to Sindar&quot;?

</p>

[Balin999]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Wight
Posts: 218</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: More Puns!

ha! i got one!


&quot;You can't charge a Took by it's cover&quot;

Behold the King of Moria!</p>

[Balin999]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Wight
Posts: 219</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: More Puns!

hell no sorry


&quot;you can't judge a Took by its cover&quot;

there you go...


Behold the King of Moria!</p>

[Balin999]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Wight
Posts: 220</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: More Puns!

another one


There are plenty more pebbles on Belfalas and fish in the Nurnen.

Behold the King of Moria!</p>

[HerenIstarion]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Ghost-Prince of Cardolan
Posts: 610</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: More Puns!

Sauron Lennon:

'all you need is ring, (sha-la-la-la-la) all you need is ring (sha-la-la-la-la) all you need is ring, ring, ring, ring is all you need'

<a href=http://www.geocities.com/gl_century/HerenIstarion.html>HerenIstarion</a></p>

[The Barrow-Wight]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Wraith of Angmar
Posts: 1856</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: More Puns!

I'm not an English professor, but the last two were not puns.

pun is defined as: A play on words which have the same sound but different meanings; an expression in which two different applications of a word present an odd or ludicrous idea; a kind of quibble or equivalent.

Shockingling low-class example:
Fingolfin's favorite Beatle was Ringil Star.

The Barrow-Wight (RKittle)
<font size="2">I usually haunt http://www.barrowdowns.comThe Barrow-Downs</a> and The Barrow-Downs http://www.barrowdowns.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgiMiddle-Earth Discussion Board</a>.</p>Edited by: <A HREF=http://www.barrowdowns.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_profile&u=00000002>RKittle</A>&nbsp; <IMG SRC=http://www.barrowdowns.com/images/oneringicon.gif BORDER=0 WIDTH=10 HEIGHT=10> at: 2/11/01 7:09:52 pm

[HerenIstarion]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Ghost-Prince of Cardolan
Posts: 618</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: More Puns!

thanks, BW, I had no clear idea of hte meaning of the word and I was too lazy to look it up at a dictionary. So pun is what I call &quot;calambur&quot;. I'll be more attentive from now on <img src=smile.gif ALT="">

<a href=http://www.geocities.com/gl_century/HerenIstarion.html>HerenIstarion</a></p>

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Pile o' Bones
Posts: 13</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: More Puns!

One of my favorite TV shows when I was growing up was &quot;Gil-galad's Island&quot;. (Bad one, I know.)
Here's another...
Hasufel? I has...and it don' feel good man!

</p>

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Newly Deceased
Posts: 4</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: More Puns!

Put down your Baggins, stay a while.

Tolkien fans UNITE!!! <a href=http://pub53.ezboard.com/bmiddleearth87846>Middle Earth</a>--the ultimate Tolkien RPG

<img src=http://www.angelfire.com/rpg/beatlesdarkwars/lotr.gif>

Proud member of <a href= http://pub28.ezboard.com/blugburz>Lugburz</a>.</p>

[Balin999]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Wight
Posts: 221</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: More Puns!

'Road Pippin' ... the new song played by the red hot chili peppers

Behold the King of Moria!</p>

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Pile o' Bones
Posts: 16</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: More Puns!

&quot;They say smoking is a very bad Hobbit!&quot;, said the Troll to the Orc. &quot;And 2nd hand Smaug is even worse for the lungs.&quot; The Orc just shrugged his shoulders and replied, &quot;Yeah. I'll quit someday.&quot; Yet he kept on dragon away on his Orc-pipe.

</p>Edited by: <A HREF=http://www.barrowdowns.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_profile&u=00000126>eledhgil </A> at: 2/12/01 9:48:12 pm

[Balin999]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Wight
Posts: 224</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: More Puns!

Bloodhound Gang: The Ballad of Isildur's Bane
Dean Martin: That's Amoria



Behold the King of Moria!</p>

[draggonklaw]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Newly Deceased
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Re: More Puns!

Good one Balin999!
(PS: Eledhgil has changed his name to Draggonklaw)

</p>Edited by: <A HREF=http://www.barrowdowns.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_profile&u=00000071>draggonk law</A> at: 2/13/01 5:26:14 pm

[Gwaihir the Windlord]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Essence of Darkness
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Re: More Puns!

I can come up with but this feeble offering.

'Is it too sweet? Well here, try a Sauron.'

</p>

[draggonklaw]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Newly Deceased
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Re: More Puns!

&quot;Honey, this ring I now give you is a Tolkien of my love for you!&quot; (It's one of the nine!)

</p>Edited by: <A HREF=http://www.barrowdowns.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_profile&u=00000071>draggonk law</A> at: 2/14/01 12:26:51 am

[Odysseus819]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Haunting Spirit
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Re: More Puns!

Morgoth's favorite classic movie: &quot;Grond Illusion&quot;

</p>

[draggonklaw]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Pile o' Bones
Posts: 14</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: More Puns!

Gandalf's favorite movie...
Ghan-buri-Ghan with the wind.

</p>

[draggonklaw]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Pile o' Bones
Posts: 16</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: More Puns!

Here's another one...
What do you call someone who never cleans their room?
A Shelob!

</p>

[burrahobbit]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Hidden Spirit
Posts: 620</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: More Puns!

Goldilocks and the Three Bears.

What's a burrahobbit got to do with my pocket, anyways?</p>

[as eowyn]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Haunting Spirit
Posts: 95</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
More Puns

How about

The Fattest dwarf fell into the river in Mirkwood does that make him a Dive Bombur?

And if he put on the ring would that make him a Stealth Bombur?

And if he's angry he's a Mad Bombur.

Where is your Dwalin place?

Don't get all touchy Fili

Mordor he wrote

Q:Which member of the nine walkers was handicaped?
A:Legolas

How was the dullest?
Bore-o-mir

Ok those were pretty lame but I had to try <img src=smile.gif ALT="">


</p>

[The Barrow-Wight]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Wraith of Angmar
Posts: 1876</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: More Puns

Actually, those were all great (or as great as puns can be). Mordor he wrote cracked me up. Remember how all of Mrs. Fletcher's friends and neighbors all ended up getting murdered over the run of the series? Just like being friends or neighbors with Sauron. Murder She Wrote was obviously allegorical of the Dark Land and its evil ruler. <img src=smile.gif ALT="">

The Barrow-Wight (RKittle)
<font size="2">I usually haunt http://www.barrowdowns.comThe Barrow-Downs</a> and The Barrow-Downs http://www.barrowdowns.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgiMiddle-Earth Discussion Board</a>.</p>

[KayQy]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Haunting Spirit
Posts: 87</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: More Puns

It's always got to be about you, doesn't it? What about ME?
Sorry, I'm not usually this s-elfish.
<img src=smile.gif ALT="">

But tell me, who are you, alone, yourself and nameless?</p>

[burrahobbit]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Hidden Spirit
Posts: 645</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: Tolkien puns

A song to Beren: I Wanna Hold Your Hand (But Can't)

What's a burrahobbit got to do with my pocket, anyways?</p>

[Zoe]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Shade of Carn Dûm
Posts: 277</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Re: Tolkien puns

Inspired by my breakfast this morning:
<blockquote>Quote:<hr> Thingol: Go your way therefore! Bring me in your hand a jar of Vegemite from Morgoth's kitchen cupboard; and then, if she will, Luthien may set her hand in yours.

Beren: For little price do Elven-kings sell their daughters: for gems, and things made by Kraft.<hr></blockquote>
(If you don't know what Vegemite is, or get the pun, you need to come to Australia.)



</p>

[Evenspire]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Pile o' Bones
Posts: 11</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Puns away!


He's all gollum and doom

Sam as always

Santa's a Merry old elf

Help me Elrond-a, help, help me Elrond-a


</p>

[Evenspire]

<font face="Verdana"><table><TR><TD><FONT SIZE="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Pile o' Bones
Posts: 12</TD><TD></TD></TR></TABLE>
Pun intended


Lawrence Welch and his orc-hestra

Call the Orc-an Man

Gimli another beer

What's good for the goose is good for the Gaffer

And I'll get your little dog Frodo too!!!


</p>