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Old 10-06-2005, 04:06 PM   #81
Fordim Hedgethistle
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Greetings all and thanks to Perky for letting me in on this neat looking game.

It will be a few days (I'm sorry) before I can get the bio and first post done. Here in Canada (the greatest land in the world) we're gearing up for the Real Thanksgiving so I'll be busy with family stuff all weekend.

I just wanted to pop in, though, to suggest to Eorl of Rohan and dancing spawn that we make sure our characters are all chained very close together (so we can interact easily!). As our soon-to-be-in-deep-trouble captain Aman has declared that there are two men at each oar, then two of us could be chained side by side, with the remaining one just in front or behind.

It might also make sense to have some reason for the three of us to be more interactive with one another than the rest of the slaves -- perhaps we share a language or dialect that the others do not, so we can speak together more easily???????
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Old 10-06-2005, 05:45 PM   #82
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Welcome aboard the Ráca, Kath, Dunwen, and Thinlómien! I look forward to sailing with you!

Now to answer you questions, Thinlómien.
Quote:
How long does a gondorian soldier schooling take?
Um, I really don't know. Perhaps you and the other soldiers can decide upon a good time.
Quote:
Is my character just a row soldier (as I suppose)? If so, is it preferable that he's quite young?
Forgive me if I am completely misunderstanding the term "row soldier". The Ráca doesn't have oars, so your soldier wouldn't do any rowing. She's a three-masted frigate, with a single stripe of gold (yellow), red, and black painted on her at where more or less each deck is at.
Quote:
And for the first post: where do I start; will I write about him in the ship or ashore?
Either. He could be doing some last minute preparations aboard the Ráca (all major preparations were taken care of earlier before the other ships), or he could be one of the bored sailors that's wandering the piers. And don't worry, the only punishment he'll receive is some extra chores.

Just feel free to ask if you have any more questions.
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Old 10-06-2005, 07:05 PM   #83
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Fordim: Your appearance has just ruined my day. I can't show off if there's anyone better than me. Just joking, of course, and welcome aboard! Spawn and I have exchanged frequent PMs, considering that, and our locations are as follows : Ferethor on the left side of the ship, second row, Spawn's mysterious and nameless character (as of yet) on the right side, two-three rows back. We thought it would be nice to make them a bit far, so that we wouldn't stretch reality too far, and need not make up any past history (hey, two slaves chained together, and they don't know each other?). Past histories between two roleplayers eventually get muddled and stuff, and so, yeah. Not only that, I don't want to make interreactions easy - but then, of course, it is just my opinion, and us three slaves have to work it all out together through PM. I am wondering, by the way, exactly what you are. A slave? A slave commander? If your character's personality is 'bossy' as I think I understood your sentence, I'm sure there'd be a lot of conflict between Ferethor and your character. Ferethor, having been a captain in Gondor, of course thinks that he knows best in everything. But then, conflict is always good - in roleplay, of course. Looking forward to working with you.

Spawn: So, our prediction that there'd be three slaves at each oar was wrong. Ignore that part about my last PM, and with the new arrival, we have another factor, so we'd better consult with Fordim as well. We haven't gone very far in our planning, though, so we have almost nothing to fill him in that I haven't already mentioned in this post. How is your character shaping?
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Old 10-06-2005, 08:08 PM   #84
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Goodness, Eorl, don't you have enough conflict wit hthe slave master himself? You started off with a crash and a bang with all that. (By the way, I personally think that your first post was really, really good...I would have given you a rep, but Perky posted it for you. )

By the by...I hope you three (Fordim, Eorl, and Spawn) don't mind if I make a suggestion. I was thinking when Pio announced that Fordim would be coming if he could be the acknowledged leader of the slaves that Fordim's character could actually come into the same ship as Spawn and Eorl were in at the beginning of the RPG. Place him conveniently somewhere within the ship, and start fresh.

Just a suggestion.

Oh, Thin! I think it would be quite exciting if you were one of the errant sailors or soldiers on shore! I'd like to see Alcarillo yell at someone...I can't really see it in my mind. He's always been very nice.

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Old 10-06-2005, 09:04 PM   #85
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Yay, someone liked my post!

Quote:
Goodness, Eorl, don't you have enough conflict wit hthe slave master himself?
Yeah, but I like all kinds of conflicts. Internal conflicts, external conflicts, social status conflicts, personal differences of opinion conflicts, they are the most fun to write, don't you think? Although, now that I think about it, Ferethor wouldn't be too pleased at the position I am putting him in. I'm giving Ferethor a decidedly good and totally unreasonable reason to hate Spawn's character, which I won't tell yet - it's a secret, but you will know it by and by. Of course, Ferethor will be constantly bickering over Fordim over the leadership of slaves, too. Can't wait.

Quote:
I was thinking when Pio announced that Fordim would be coming if he could be the acknowledged leader of the slaves that Fordim's character could actually come into the same ship as Spawn and Eorl were in at the beginning of the RPG. Place him conveniently somewhere within the ship, and start fresh.
Yep, Folwren, I think your suggestion has merit - though it would be Fordim who decides this, I guess. Can you elucidate, though?
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Old 10-06-2005, 09:33 PM   #86
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Alrighty then Eorl and Spawn, somewhat further apart our characters shall be.

I'm not sure I'm getting the gist of your suggestion Folwren: that my character (whomever he may be) is first brought aboard the vessel at the game's beginning? Not so sure I like that idea for my own idea of the game -- as I have already confessed to Pio, I have watched Ben Hur so many times that I have fallen in love with the idea of Slave Prince. For this to work, my guy will need to have been a slave on that ship for long enough to win the respect and confidence of the other slaves. If I bring him onto the ship at the very beginning, then the game (for me) will be about establishing dominance (which isn't really interesting to me), when what I really would like to explore is the conflict between the slaves and their masters.

So unless this really does ruffle too many feathers I would like to stick with my original conception of my guy as a lifelong slave who is considered a leader by the other slaves from the outset. Now, that having been said, I very much agree with Eorl: conflict is the fuel of a good RPG, so if he thinks that his character would like to challenge mine, then that's all for the good. In the end, however, I would like to see the slaves working together toward their common good -- and against their masters.

(Yeah, Aman I'm looking at you...be afraid, be very afraid...no wimpy love stories this time around m'girl.... There's gonna be some hurt this time.... heh heh heh *Fordim wishes again for an evil smilie*)
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Old 10-07-2005, 08:00 AM   #87
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Quote:
Originally posted by Fordim:
So unless this really does ruffle too many feathers I would like to stick with my original conception of my guy as a lifelong slave who is considered a leader by the other slaves from the outset.
Goodness no, man. It was just a suggestion that I only threw out there for thought. It's not like it's my character or anything. If I really had anything to do with it, then I might be a little more adimant about having it my way, but it's not. It's all yours to do what you like with. So no ruffled feathers at all.

Don't have any more time for comments.

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Old 10-07-2005, 08:47 AM   #88
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Fordim & Eorl, I was thinking that a slave sitting next to my character dies thus giving my character an opportunity to move to sit on the right side of the bench so he can see a glimpe of sky and sea from the oar hole (is that a proper term? If not, could someone tell me a more appropriate one, please?). Maybe Fordim's character can be placed to sit next to mine so we three don't have to know each other right when the game starts but we are close enough to communicate.

Aman, two men per oar is perfect.
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Old 10-07-2005, 11:29 AM   #89
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Quote:
(Yeah, Aman I'm looking at you...be afraid, be very afraid...no wimpy love stories this time around m'girl....
Well, bearing in mind that it's an all-male cast, and the numerous debates surrounding such possibilities (or impossibilities maybe) in ME, then I rather doubt it, yes

Oh...oh dear. There is something very odd about sitting here watching my slaves conspiring before my very eyes. Rather depressing. Ho hum. And bearing in mind that I can already forsee the possibility of personality clashes with Azaryan, and certainly it looks unlikely that Rakin and Sangalazin are ever going to be doting best buddies...now add a bunch of unruly slaves? Foils, and to think I thought I'd broken your spirits. Whippings for all! I thought the slave commander would be the crew man in charge of the slaves, the master of the slaves, rather than a slave himself? That was how I had imagined a slave commander would be...
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Old 10-07-2005, 12:25 PM   #90
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Originally Posted by Amanaduial the archer
I thought the slave commander would be the crew man in charge of the slaves, the master of the slaves, rather than a slave himself? That was how I had imagined a slave commander would be...
Well, the original description of the part was a bit vague on this point, and I have to admit that spending a game wearing a loincloth, screaming at slaves and hitting them with a heavy piece of wood did not have a lot of appeal to me. A rebellious and powerful slave, on the other hand, holds a lot more appeal. I floated two possible 'takes' on the character by Pio and Perky and they said that a slave commander who was himself a slave was fine by them.

This has historical precedence, actually. Slaveowners have always allowed some slaves to rise 'above' their fellows to act as foremen: it was a way of maintaining control by giving them some hope -- do as you are told, and you can have some benefits; rebel and you'll be chained to that oar forever...

So now perhaps I'm getting a new take on my character: perhaps someone in this 'in-between' space???

Spawn: I like your idea of having the game begin with my guy being moved into the 'seat' next to your guy. If you want to go ahead and begin your post (as mine will take a few days to work out, at least) then perhaps you could end it with your character moving into the better seat and wondering who will join him. Then my post will be about the events that lead to my character being chained there.

EDIT

I'm really liking this idea of my character as being a slave who has been 'elevated' at some point. Right now I'm thinking that he will be someone who has been a slave all his life, but who has some special talent which 'won' the masters' favour, allowing him a respite from the slave hold. He would have used his greater freedom to help the other slaves as much as possible (smuggling them bits of food etc) but something's happened (he was caught planning a slave revolt?) that has got him back in chains... This would explain why the other slaves look up to him, but it would give Eorl's character Ferethor yet another reason to resent my own, insofar as it would be easy to see my guy as a patsy to the masters.

One thing's for sure, Aman's going to have to watch her back
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Old 10-07-2005, 01:07 PM   #91
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Amanaduial the archer
Ho hum. And bearing in mind that I can already forsee the possibility of personality clashes with Azaryan, and certainly it looks unlikely that Rakin and Sangalazin are ever going to be doting best buddies...
You can't get on with the proud warrior or the debauched fop? Quel horreur...what sort of Lord are you after? You Corsair ruffians can't be choosers...

It always struck me, incidentally, that Aragorn would have made rather a good Corsair. I wonder if he ever served on a ship in disguise before his expedition...
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Old 10-07-2005, 02:23 PM   #92
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1420!

Fordim's new persona:




The slave driver of the Corsair Xebec leered down at his galley slaves, coiled whip in hand, and bellowed, "I've got some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you'll be getting double rations tonight!" The murmuring of the surprised slaves as they struggled with their oars was interrupted by the slave driver. "The bad news is that this afternoon Sangalazin’s Easterling wants to learn to water-ski."


Off topic . . . will not happen again . . .


~*~ Pio
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Old 10-07-2005, 02:54 PM   #93
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Just checking in It seems y'all are really cracking things in Just let me know on the thread if you need my help. Bolding my name helps! hehe Busy times! Must depart!


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Old 10-07-2005, 04:05 PM   #94
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Silmaril

'Debauched fop', eh? Lol, why is it that that phrase makes me smile? Something to do with Dorian Gray I think...it's how Sangalazin strikes me in a way, weirdly mixed with Fagin from Oliver Twist. Do not meddle in the affairs of Aman, for her mind is peculiar, and she will have you chained to an oar for the next year.

Hee hee.

Quote:
One thing's for sure, Aman's going to have to watch her back
Oh, poor Rakin. He's not all bad...but just bear in mind who has the power on the ship, Master Hedgethistle, and that deception is a life-honed skill of Monsieur le Corsair...

EDIT: Sorry, just a query so I know what sort of place I should maybe be positioning my first post: what is the order of the Lords of Umbars' posts? Sangalazin, then Azaryan? Or t'other way around with an intervening space of time between them? Just...wondering...
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Old 10-07-2005, 05:53 PM   #95
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I'm thinking along the lines that would give Ferethor reason to hate everyone he knows, and most that he does not know. Tell me if this storyline does not fit with your character or anything.

Ferethor hates Hedge's character for a captain's pet, he hates Aman's character because Ferethor tried to kill him once (a scar at the wrist to remind him), and eventually got only his lieutenant beaten to death and him alive (he feels REALLY bad about this, as he was the one who thought it up and talked Lieutenant Linvail into it, the only person he knew on the ship), Spawn's character because he was the one who took Linvail's place at the oars (This is unrealistic, but perfectly admissible, as he keeps reminding Ferethor of Linvail), he hates the row-soldier as he put it because he was the one who whipped him to shreds on his first post, etc.

Would this be all right?
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Old 10-07-2005, 06:50 PM   #96
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Shield

Just checking in. I've been awful quiet and negecting of my corsair underlings.

Quote:
"Sorry, just a query so I know what sort of place I should maybe be positioning my first post: what is the order of the Lords of Umbars' posts? Sangalazin, then Azaryan? Or t'other way around with an intervening space of time between them? Just...wondering...
I'm pretty sure it's Sangalazin, then Azaryan. How much is in between the post...I dunno, maybe thirty minutes, maybe less? Perky can be decisive about that.

Quote:
"And bearing in mind that I can already forsee the possibility of personality clashes with Azaryan, and certainly it looks unlikely that Rakin and Sangalazin are ever going to be doting best buddies...now add a bunch of unruly slaves?
Hee. Poor Aman the plots to slit her throat. And by consequence, mine. As for clashes with Azaryan, expect a lot of...constructive criticism for Rakin.

Also? I leave the thread for a week and the mod is posting pictures from Ben-Hur? This game is gonna be absolutely nuts. I can't wait.
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Old 10-07-2005, 08:38 PM   #97
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Nuts for you Corsairs, looks like. Golly. This is going to be more violent than the orcs in Red Flows the Sirannon.

It's definitely going to be very much fun.

About how long, do people suppose, 'till we start?

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Old 10-07-2005, 11:08 PM   #98
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Sooner the better, I think. But Perky should give us the exact date.
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Old 10-08-2005, 12:18 AM   #99
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Folwren

Do you want to name your ship?
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Old 10-08-2005, 02:37 AM   #100
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Thank you, allies and enemies, for the warm welcome. I look forward to serving under Captain Alcarillo.


Before I post my bio/first post, I have a question: Would Gondor issue any kind of uniform to its common soldiers (perhaps a plain helmet with noseguard and a black padded jerkin with a cheap yet tasteful rendition of the White Tree and Stars ), or do we wear our civilian clothes?
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Old 10-08-2005, 03:49 AM   #101
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eorl
[...] Spawn's character because he was the one who took Linvail's place at the oars
Hmm, I thought that the next fellow would have just died because of the poor conditions. But I can change it if you want a reason to hate my character (I named him Jagar, btw).
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Old 10-08-2005, 06:08 AM   #102
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Hi PERKY I asked Alcarillo this but he wasn't sure so I'll try you instead. What I would like to know is what exactly the role of a soldier on board will be. Because are we there to help with the running of the ship or is there a separate crew for that?
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Old 10-08-2005, 06:28 AM   #103
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Esau, (Yes, it's my nickname for Dsau, or Dancing spawn of ungoliant), Jagar? A nice name. Has the feel of 'jagged edges' or 'haggard' or some such, a nice, coarse-like name that fits the background of your character - I think. Again, it is just my idea, it is not final, and certainly not required - if you don't like it, poof! and there you go, I can change it to fit your needs.
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Old 10-08-2005, 07:52 AM   #104
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Quote:
Asked by Pio:
Folwren

Do you want to name your ship?
Yes, actually, I do want to name my ship. I haven't thought it much yet, though. I'll consider it soon.

I also wanted to name my sword, but that's more difficult, because I know what I want its name to mean, but I don't know any languages of ME other than English. Anyone I can call on for help?

Quote:
Asked by Kath:
Hi PERKY I asked Alcarillo this but he wasn't sure so I'll try you instead. What I would like to know is what exactly the role of a soldier on board will be. Because are we there to help with the running of the ship or is there a separate crew for that?
I hope I don't seem presumptuous about attempting to answer this before Perky, but I'm going to through in my two cents of thought, whatever it's worth.

With the expedition being only two or so weeks long (that is the time period Pio said the game would time, right?), the soldiers would probably not learn how to do the sailors work because, as you suggested, there is already most of the ship's crew. And...the captain probably doesn't want a bunch of land lubbers working his sails anyway and embarrassing him in front of the entire fleet. The soldiers themselves would probably take part in all the watches, of course, and just patrol the deck, mainly.

There's my two cents. Do what you want with it.

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Old 10-08-2005, 08:31 AM   #105
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Folwren - Do you have the Sil? If so, there's an appendix in the back with several Elvish stems that can be strung together to make names (my copy does, anyway...). If not, Ardalambion is a great language site with word lists in several languages.

I'm getting really excited for this game. All you Corsairs, the planning looks great. Can't wait to see how that develops. I think this is going to be a great game - lots of great writers, both new and old.
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Old 10-08-2005, 08:46 AM   #106
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eorl of Rohan
Esau, (Yes, it's my nickname for Dsau, or Dancing spawn of ungoliant)
Not only did I change gender but now I'm the son of Isaac and Rebekah?
Quote:
Jagar? A nice name. Has the feel of 'jagged edges' or 'haggard' or some such, a nice, coarse-like name that fits the background of your character - I think. Again, it is just my idea, it is not final, and certainly not required - if you don't like it, poof! and there you go, I can change it to fit your needs.
Thanks!

No problem, I'm leaving his death kind of open so you can do what you wish.

Aman, I'm finishing my first post and I've written it in a way that the ship is moving (somewhere, not necessarily to Gondor). Should the ship be (still/ already) in the harbor? I can change it if you want.
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Old 10-08-2005, 12:07 PM   #107
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Leaf

I have been informed that a row soldier is simply an ordinary soldier. So, to answer Thinlómien's question:
Quote:
Is my character just a row soldier (as I suppose)? If so, is it preferable that he's quite young?
I suppose he would be younger than the more experienced officers. But you can make your character a higher ranking officer, if you'd like. However, I don't think an officer would be wandering the docks. Leave that to the new recruits.
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Old 10-08-2005, 04:43 PM   #108
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Leaf

I hope it isn't out of place to suggest this link for Seafaring and schooner vocabulary . Just so everyone 's rowing to the same starboard.

You wouldn't want to end up rowing around in circles now, would you?
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Old 10-08-2005, 06:31 PM   #109
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Er, Esau, you're a girl?
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Old 10-08-2005, 07:54 PM   #110
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Leaf A Second Question's Answer!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dunwen
Would Gondor issue any kind of uniform to its common soldiers (perhaps a plain helmet with noseguard and a black padded jerkin with a cheap yet tasteful rendition of the White Tree and Stars ), or do we wear our civilian clothes?
In all the nautical movies and pictures and cross-sections I've seen (quite alot in the past few days), the soldiers are in uniform. So yes, I would say that the soldiers would wear some sort of uniform at most if not all times, in varying degrees of battle-readiness; i.e., fancy armor for battles, that black padded jerkin you mentioned for patrolling the ship, other sorts of soldiers' clothing for rest and relaxation, etc.
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Old 10-09-2005, 01:23 AM   #111
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Er. In my character bio, I said 'the blue and silver of Gondorian Guards', not knowing the color or indeed anything of the Gondor unifom, so, if anyone knows any better, tell me and I'll change it.
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Old 10-09-2005, 01:32 AM   #112
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Dunwen's Character Description

Please see post #121 on the following page - Character Bio moved there for ease of transfer to the Discussion Thread.

~*~ Pio

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Old 10-09-2005, 02:08 AM   #113
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Note on colors:

White on blue would most likely represent the troops of Dol Amroth.

White on black, especially the White Tree wtih its seven stars on a field of sable, are the colors for Gondor.
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Old 10-09-2005, 07:39 AM   #114
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Silmaril

Quote:
Ferethor hates Hedge's character for a captain's pet, he hates Aman's character because Ferethor tried to kill him once (a scar at the wrist to remind him), and eventually got only his lieutenant beaten to death and him alive (he feels REALLY bad about this, as he was the one who thought it up and talked Lieutenant Linvail into it, the only person he knew on the ship), Spawn's character because he was the one who took Linvail's place at the oars (This is unrealistic, but perfectly admissible, as he keeps reminding Ferethor of Linvail), he hates the row-soldier as he put it because he was the one who whipped him to shreds on his first post, etc.
I'm sorry, could you just clarify this: you wish my character to have tried to kill yours, or vice versa? 'Cos believe me, if Rakin had tried, you'd have a helluva lot more to remind you than a wee scar on your wrist. Also, I don't quite understand the part about the Lieutenant? However, by all means hate Rakin - you're perfectly justified, having had a life of slavery and all that jazz; besides, everyone else seems to.

Spawn - sure, that's fine. Hiriel and Anguiriel have written their posts with the ship in motion, I believe, so that'll fit in just fine.

Fordim - is your character going to come onto Fame and Fortune at the beginning of the game, or would you prefer him to already be on? I mean, why not start off the game for the corsairs for a nice wee coastal village raid and take a few prisoners? Failing that, to stick with your idea of him having been a 'high-ranking' slave in a previous posting (for lack of a better word), we could meet with another ship and take him on board? Just one thing though: if he had been caught trying to stir up rebellion amongst other slaves on another ship, my guess is that he would have long since relinquished his hold on this life, and certainly wouldn't be passed on to plague another ship and another captain - unless we're getting into confused and complex-imicated ideas of wider ranging plots against Rakin, destroying his ship and ruining his reputation in the process. Which, y'know, pardon me if I'm becoming paranoid, but bearing in mind the current disposition towards Rakin... However, I think this would be a little unlikely bearing in mind that Azaryan and Sangalazin are travelling on the ship - it is unlikely in the extreme that another corsair captain would put the Lords of Umbar in danger like that. So maybe if you were to think up another 'crime' that has had your character so unceremoniously shunted from his priveleged position on another ship onto mine? Be as creative as you like - Rakin doesn't have to know at the beginning - but inciting slave rebellion would probably have led only to death. Maybe he was otherwise involved with an unruly gang of slaves, but as he is otherwise a 'good slave' and held the position of slave commander on his previous ship, he was not punished by death and so has simply been moved, so as to be away from the negative influence of his fellows. Doncha know. I don't know, whatever works for you, just an idea.
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Old 10-09-2005, 10:01 AM   #115
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PLACED ON DISCUSSION THREAD ~*~ PIO


Quote:
Er, Esau, you're a girl?
Most definitely.

Well, here we go...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Character Description Form:

1.) Have you ever played in an RPG at the Barrow Downs? No.

2.) How many RPG’s on the Barrow Downs are you currently involved in? None.

3.) Have you posted in The Green Dragon Inn – Yes.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

dancing spawn of ungoliant's character


NAME: Jagar

AGE: 26

RACE: Men (Haradrim)

GENDER: Male

WEAPONS: A piece of rope.

APPEARANCE: As a Southron Jagar's complexion is dark and he has brown or almost black eyes. His hair is short, curly, ragged and as dark as his eyes. Jagar is scrawny but tall. Some say that there would be Numenorean blood in his line but most think it's just a mere story Jagar's tribe's women cherish. The only feature that could be Numenorean origin is his height. He is worn and sweat has hardened his clothes. He sits a couple rows behind Ferethor on the right side of an aisle between the slaves.

PERSONALITY/STRENGTHS/WEAKNESSES: Jagar has been aboard only a few months but the horrible conditions are taking their toll on him and sometimes he seems slightly mad. He talks to himself, hums and acts indifferently. He tries to deny the reality and escape into his imagination by seeking consolation from nature and songs. Jagar is confused because he begins to realize how much his tribe's culture contradicts with his own values.

Jagar is independent and he'd like to be alone but it's quite impossible considering he is in chains with hundreds of other slaves. Therefore he isn't very talkative but he's not hostile either.

HISTORY: Jagar was a member of a large and powerful tribe. He travelled to the sea as a boy and fell in love with the local lifestyle. When Jagar grew up he left to the coast to live on his own.


__________________________________


dancing spawn of ungoliant's post

The hot air below deck smelled of sweat and blood. Jagar gasped and felt his heartbeat pounding in his throat. A man sitting next to him had collapsed onto the oar unable to force his tortured body to work any longer. Although it was gruesome, the sight made him chuckle. The limp body of the man swung to-and-fro with every pull making him look like a puppet and making rowing even harder. Was he dead? No, not yet. "Will be soon", Jagar mumbled to himself. "Isn't this something! Great ships with crimson sails, wasn't that what you wanted to see?" a little voice jeered inside his head.

When Jagar was a mere boy, he had travelled north to the coast with his father to inspect their tribe's lands. He had seen proud ships setting off from the harbours, the sun dazzling on foaming waves and screaming flocks of seabirds that circled above docks waiting the fishermen to clean their catch. As time passed, Jagar didn't forsake the sight of the glimmering sea and he longed for the freedom that the life on the coast breathed. Getting captured was not part of the plan.

During these months aboard Jagar had learnt that by keeping up with the pace and holding your tongue you could keep the whip away. The man sitting next to him had done neither. Rankling wounds run across his back making his remaining clothes sticky with matter. Jagar thought of his family. They had kept slaves, too, people from scattered and weak tribes who had chosen thralldom over death.

A whip of lash whizzed past Jagar's ear hitting the man next to him on the back and spattering blood drops around. The poor man moaned hoarsely as a new wound ripped the old scars open and coloured his ragged shirt carmine red. There was a time when this sight would have made Jagar feel sick but now he just stared forward squeezing the oar. The man was detached from his chains and dragged away. A few rows from Jagar another man was being beaten for dropping his oar.

Jagar moved quickly to the seat beside the oar hole and breathed the salty air. Finally he could see a glimpse of the swelling sea and boundless sky. How free the seagulls were! He wanted to wring their necks, shoot them down, so they couldn't fly around the cursed ship as though mocking him. No, he wanted to be one of them and ride with the breeze that blew from the vast ocean and hailed a new dawn. But here Jagar was chained in a ship and going to war against Gondor.

Harad was an enemy of Gondor as was Umbar. Jagar had learnt that long ago. If he was a free man, he would have gone to war gladly but not like this, not as a thrall trapped in an Umbarian ship. They made slaves row under pain of torment and death, but if he ever reached Gondor, what would the battle be but torment and death? Maybe he would die pathetically as an old man holding an oar after wasting his years rowing Numenorean lords from war to war. They would just throw him overboard for the sport of different sea creatures and keep conquering the world. This thought made him chuckle again. But why would he have been so eager to go to war against Gondor? He had no personal reason to hate that land. Jagar tried to reminisce an old song his mother had used to sing but the words escaped from his mind. Something about wind and horizon...


___________________________________


And now, what do I need to change? Typos, weird expressions, mistakes? Pio and Eorl have helped me really much already with all this but tell me if there's something you don't like. I'll be away next fortnight so I can't make the changes myself, though.
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Old 10-09-2005, 10:14 AM   #116
Fordim Hedgethistle
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Aman: points well taken about my character's -- name: Chakka -- having been caught stirring up rebellion. And good suggestions about how to begin.

I now have a bio and history for Chakka but the first post remains to be done. I had thought that it would begin with Chakka aboard the Fame and Fortune already and enjoying a more privileged position abovedecks: personal bodyguard to Rakin. He's a slave still, but Rakin bought him for protection (Chakka is a, shall we say, very intimidating guy).

The first post will probably detail how he is caught trying to escape and thus sent to the oars as punishment. It will also describe how he was trying to free the other slaves but the Corsairs don't know this, so they won't realise that he is trying to foment rebellion. This way he escapes the gallows but gains the respect and gratitude of most of the other slaves. Does this make sense?

At any event, hope this meshes with other people's ideas -- I shall have the post done by the Wednesday deadline.
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Old 10-09-2005, 02:39 PM   #117
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White Tree

Quote:
Note on colors:
White on blue would most likely represent the troops of Dol Amroth.

White on black, especially the White Tree wtih its seven stars on a field of sable, are the colors for Gondor.
Pio, should I edit my character description? Since Nimir grew up west of the Ethir Anduin, in (I thought) Lebinnin, I expected he would be recruited by the Gondorians rather than the 'Amrothians'. But this can be easily adjusted...I mean, we're all against the Corsiars, right?

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Old 10-09-2005, 02:54 PM   #118
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Oh, sorry! I wasn't very clear, was I?

The soldiers on Alcarillo's ship should be in service to the King of Gondor - so their uniforms, insignias should be the traditional white on sable.

In reference to Eorl of Rohan - the colors mentioned in his post for the Gondorian guards need to be changed, as white on blue (or silver-white on blue) were the traditional colors for the Lord of Dol Amroth.

So, no changes needed, Dunwen

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Old 10-09-2005, 03:55 PM   #119
Amanaduial the archer
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Quote:
The first post will probably detail how he is caught trying to escape and thus sent to the oars as punishment.
Hmm. Would you be detailing the actual escape attempt? If so, would you mind having one of the other crew members catching you at it and, say Rakin is otherwise engaged (with the two Lords above deck) and therefore not to be disturbed, have a high standing crew member (say the Quartermaster or Boatswain) order him to be sent (flogged (?) and) sent to the oars, to be dealt with by the Captain later. I would just rather be the first to use Rakin, so I can get my feet with him - would that be ok, if you didn't have Rakin directly participating in your post yet?
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Old 10-09-2005, 11:31 PM   #120
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Kath wrote:

Quote:
So looking at your bio Dunwen you are going to be the odd person out, having come from a different background. Different ages will be fine I'm sure. So Thinlomien, you want for you and me to be knights who became friends due to going through training together? Looks like Dunwen has chosen a speciality - archery right? So should we pick one or just be all round good soldiers?

Yep, it looks like I'm going to be the commoner -- oh well, it's a dirty job but somebody's got to do it The main reason I picked a bow and arrows for my main weapon is only because my character wouldn't have the social status or money for a sword and armour at his age.

Kath , it would still be easy for us soldiers on the Raca to interact if you & Thinlomien want to be knights or officers. Cramped ship...maybe you two are in my chain of command... We could even have met at camp in Lossarnach if you had been assigned as officers while I was in training there. Maybe my company is a new one and you two were assigned to it? Just pondering! I think my first post leaves enough room for you two to decide if you know me or not before the game starts.
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