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Old 09-23-2005, 03:27 PM   #7521
Gurthang
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Sauron does his best impression of Galadriel when she gets too excited. (ie. Mirror of Galadriel from movie.)

OR

This is Sauron's twin. Sauron's the bad one, in case you didn't know.

OR

Sauron has some major buck teeth.

OR

Sauron: "Oh, look, a lever! I wonder what it does?" *pulls lever* *gets electrocuted*

OR

101 Ways To Defeat a Dark Lord
#37- attach him to an arc welder.
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Old 09-23-2005, 03:47 PM   #7522
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Voiceover: Taking over Middle Earth. Just one more thing you can't do whilst being electrocuted.
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Old 09-23-2005, 04:15 PM   #7523
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The Maitre D'...

"And finally, monsieur, a wafer-thin mint."
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Solus... I'm eating chicken again.
I ate chicken yesterday and the
day before... will I be eating
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Old 09-23-2005, 04:47 PM   #7524
THE Ka
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It was a well known, but amazingly well kept secret that sauron was known to taking to life-like mall christmas decor to boost holiday season support...


~ Aesthete
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Hevur tú reikað líka sum eg,
í endaleysu tokuni?
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Old 09-23-2005, 05:45 PM   #7525
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Frodo: *sigh* He ate the phial...again
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'But Melkor also was there, and he came to the house of Fëanor, and there he slew Finwë King of the Noldor before his doors, and spilled the first blood in the Blessed Realm; for Finwë alone had not fled from the horror of the Dark.'
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Old 09-23-2005, 05:53 PM   #7526
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Pipe

Sauron had his fingers cut off in the midst of pulling splinters out of him.
(that would explain the tweezers in his left hand...)
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Old 09-23-2005, 06:58 PM   #7527
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1420!

Are those feline or canine facial features?
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Old 09-23-2005, 06:59 PM   #7528
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Sauron? Yes, that is what they used to call me, Sauron the black. I am Sauron the White, and I come back to you now at the turn of the tide.
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Old 09-23-2005, 11:29 PM   #7529
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(Pippin with a pale of water)

Pippin: Wonder what happens when I do this. *throws water on Sauron*

Sauron: I'm melting... melting..... MELTING!!!!!!
(little orcs run out around the now melting Sauron singing HI HO the witch is dead the wicked wicked witch is dead)
Sauron lets out a final cry as he turns into a rainbow lollipop.

Pippin: Hey look Merry a pretty lollipop. Wanna lick?

----------OR----------------

Sauron runs out of dark tower singing and dancing.

Sauron: Ebony and Ivory live together in perfect harmony.......
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Old 09-24-2005, 12:46 AM   #7530
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Leaf

Sauron spent too long on the sun-bed.

OR

Sauron the black, uncloaked.
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Old 09-24-2005, 09:21 AM   #7531
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Morsul the Dark has been trapped in the Barrow!
I don't know why but this came to mind(wonder what froid would say...)

Sauron: Behold I am the great Sauron
Beavis(yes random):Really cool but I am the Great Cornholio
S:But Im better
B: Do you have TP?
S:.....uh....no
B:Than you su-- for I am the great cornholioooooooooo

or(another less random one)

Sauron:Let me get this straight Gandalf glows and all of a sudden he's mighty...but if i glow im dieing....dude thats messed up
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Old 09-24-2005, 09:28 AM   #7532
The Perky Ent
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Silmaril

After killing Sauron, the men of Gondor turned him into Pelagir's first human lighthouse
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'But Melkor also was there, and he came to the house of Fëanor, and there he slew Finwë King of the Noldor before his doors, and spilled the first blood in the Blessed Realm; for Finwë alone had not fled from the horror of the Dark.'
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Old 09-24-2005, 09:43 AM   #7533
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Sauron: What? What do you mean this set isn't for the Dragonball Z live-action movie try-outs?

---------
Later
---------

Sauron: How could I not get the part? How?! I can do the glowy effects thing without the need for expensive visuals! *weeps*
Elrond: It's okay...you'll get other jobs...
Sauron: Easy for you to say, Agent Elrond....*muttering* jerk...
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Old 09-24-2005, 11:48 AM   #7534
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Eye

Emperor Palpatine: If you will not turn, then you will be destroyed!
Frodo: Noooooooooo!!! *incoherent gargling* Help me Sauron, please!
Darth Sauron: *hesitates, grabs Palpatine*
ZZZZZZAAAPPPPPP!!!!!
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Old 09-24-2005, 11:55 AM   #7535
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going off of arcticstorm:

Frodo: But you're evil.

Sauron: I know that!! I mean at the turn of the tide for my victory!!! Can't you all get that through your heads!?!?!? What? Did you think I'd turn into Gandalf and help defeat myself!?!? Sheez!!!
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Old 09-24-2005, 11:59 AM   #7536
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
So this is why you should never smoke, kids.
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THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...
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Old 09-24-2005, 02:03 PM   #7537
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Shield Excuse the gamer-nerdiness...

"Curse you and your Mirror Shield!"


(Anyone who gets this is my new best friend.)
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Old 09-24-2005, 02:05 PM   #7538
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Silmaril

As one of the most powerful of the Maiar, Sauron's hickups were much more lethal!
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'But Melkor also was there, and he came to the house of Fëanor, and there he slew Finwë King of the Noldor before his doors, and spilled the first blood in the Blessed Realm; for Finwë alone had not fled from the horror of the Dark.'
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Old 09-24-2005, 02:21 PM   #7539
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Thumbs up

And from the bowels of Sauron bursts forth a new picture!



Ring wraiths: RUN AWAY! Fury bunny rabbit!

OR

R-Ws: Run Away! Gandalf the Grey! Uncloaked!

Or yet!

The Ring wraiths were not happy with the service at Burger King!

Or further,

Witch King: Who put jam on my seat?
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Old 09-24-2005, 02:27 PM   #7540
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Here's a twist

Witch-King: We found our way to Rivendell!! Yes!!

Ring Wraiths: Hurray for MapQuest!!!!

*meanwhil in Rivendell*

Arwen: Father!! The Black Riders crossed the Fords!!!

Aragorn: I knew I should have gone instead of her!!

Gandalf: That surprised me so much, I think I'm going to uncloak!!

Elrond: I hate MapQuest!!!

Legolas: Hey!! Look!! Aragron's here!! And the Black Riders are coming!! And Gandalf's uncloaking!!! And Elrond hates MapQuest!!!

Everyone:
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Last edited by Glirdan; 09-24-2005 at 03:07 PM.
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Old 09-24-2005, 02:48 PM   #7541
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Boots

Invisible minstrels:

Bravely the bold Ringwraiths
Rode forth from Mordor...
They were not afraid to die,
O the brave Ringwraiths
They were not at all afraid to be killed in ways...
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Old 09-24-2005, 03:36 PM   #7542
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Leaf

Witch King: Attack! Attack! Oh! Wait! Catastrophe!

Khamûl: What is it?

Witch King: I left the iron on! We'll have to turn back!

Or

W-k *to Eowyn*:Come not between the Nazgul and his pray! Hay! Come back here I'm not finished!
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once.
THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

Last edited by Hookbill the Goomba; 09-24-2005 at 03:39 PM.
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Old 09-24-2005, 03:36 PM   #7543
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Pipe

Contrary to popular belief, the Wraith's steeds could run on water.
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Old 09-24-2005, 04:31 PM   #7544
Kath
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The polo game wasn't going too well.
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Old 09-24-2005, 07:11 PM   #7545
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White Tree

Quote:
Invisible minstrels:

Bravely the bold Ringwraiths
Rode forth from Mordor...
They were not afraid to die,
O the brave Ringwraiths
They were not at all afraid to be killed in ways...
Not invisible minstrels...but Ringwraith Minstrels...

Ringwraith Minstrels: Brave Sir Witch-king ran away...
Witch-king: No!
R M: bravely ran away away...
W-K: I didn't!
R M: When danger reared its ugly head, he bravely turned his tail and fled.
W-K: Shutup!
R M: Yes, brave Sir Witch-King turned about, and valiantly, he chickened out.

Or...

The Ringwraiths enjoy a game of Ding-dong Doorbell ditch.
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Old 09-24-2005, 07:53 PM   #7546
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Leaf

Seven Ringwraiths in Back: Kill the imposters!

Two Ringwraiths in Front: I knew we should've gotten black horses.
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Old 09-24-2005, 10:09 PM   #7547
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Sauron pic:

Sauron: "I am Melkor returned, worship me and you will have plenty of man-flesh to eat! No more crow!"

Nazgul pic:

The Nazgul were late for their flight to Bohemian Grove.
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Old 09-25-2005, 12:28 AM   #7548
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Ring-wraiths: "Weren't we riding Black Horses?!"

OR

The wraiths enjoy a stress relieving game of polo.

OR

The Ring-wraiths in front just can't help but look back at their super-cool flowing cloaks.

OR

It's the newest craze in the sporting world! Synchronized Water Horse-Racing! Only on ESPN 8, the Ocho!
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Old 09-25-2005, 12:28 AM   #7549
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Clearance sales at the Gap of Rohan always brought the undesirables of society.
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Old 09-25-2005, 06:06 AM   #7550
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Witch King: Tch! I knew I should've asked what the others were wearing to the halloween party!
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Old 09-25-2005, 06:23 AM   #7551
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Estelyn Telcontar is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.Estelyn Telcontar is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.
Witch-King: Couldn't they have cancelled the polo game when they knew the hurricane was coming??
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Old 09-25-2005, 09:10 AM   #7552
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White Tree

Ringwraiths: Ahh, the next Picture...Gandalf! He's going to uncloak...



Gandalf: Now, you are going to give the Ring to Frodo?

Bilbo: Yes of course (thinks)...he, he, the fake one.
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Old 09-25-2005, 09:17 AM   #7553
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Bilbo: *between teeth* Can I please stop smiling now? It's starting to hurt.
Gandalf: Not until you learn what it'd be like if your face was stuck like that. This will teach you not to play tricks using that Ring of yours.
Bilbo: But, it hurts...
Gandalf: Don't make me uncloak...
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Old 09-25-2005, 09:18 AM   #7554
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Gandalf: So then I uncloaked and the Balrog got scared and he fell!!!!

Bilbo: That's hil... you WHAT!?!?!?!?!?
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Old 09-25-2005, 09:31 AM   #7555
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Gandalf: It's your own fault Bilbo, I tried to warn you. I said you'd be stuck like that if the wind changed and look what happened!
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Old 09-25-2005, 09:56 AM   #7556
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Narrator's voice: Bilbo drank too much ale and almost spilled the beans about the Ring to his guests. Fortunately, Gandalf was quick on the uptake to warn him. Once again, the day was saved by the wise wizard, only drawback being, Gandalf was drunk himself and missed, kicking Bilbo in his privates instead of merely treading on his foot...

Bilbo: Ouch....
Gandalf: What? Ah...um...yes.. Alas! It was this accursed boot that gave the pain. Few now have the skill in healing to match such evil weapons, you must go to Rivendell, for only Elrond can heal you!
Bilbo: m-mm-mm-m...
Gandalf: No 'm-m' ing required, you must go at once!

Narrator's voice: And that's how Gandalf the Wise helped to rekindle Bilbo's passion for traveling and helped the Ring into Frodo's keeping! This is also the reason why Bilbo remained bachelor to the end of his days, for even Elrond's skill was not match enough, as Bilbo's somewhat damaged walking ability took him more than an year to reach Rivendell and it was too late... ahem, you know how it hurts when...ahem, but I'm straying... And they lived happily ever after, they did, yes!
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Old 09-25-2005, 12:02 PM   #7557
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White Tree

The trickster Hobbit had poured Ex-lax in Gandalf's tea...

Gandalf: Mmmm, good tea.

Bilbo: Yes, drink up.
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Old 09-25-2005, 12:34 PM   #7558
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: New Hampshire
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mormegil is a guest at the Prancing Pony.mormegil is a guest at the Prancing Pony.
Plotting their little joke

Gandalf: Okay then after the party we'll act like you have left, then I'll give Frodo your "special ring". Later I'll become convinced it's the one ring and send him on some wild goose chase to destroy the ring.

Bilbo: Do you think he'll believe it's the one ring?

Gandalf: Of course he will, he believes anything I say.
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Old 09-25-2005, 01:40 PM   #7559
Pallando
Wight
 
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Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: On your grave, Dancing.
Posts: 101
Pallando has just left Hobbiton.
Little did Gandalf the Grey know that Bilbo Baggins set his staff aflame...
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Old 09-25-2005, 02:05 PM   #7560
Morsul the Dark
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
 
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Morsul the Dark has been trapped in the Barrow!
Bilbo:So then I says.....
Gandalf(speaking):Really? fascinating
Gandalf(thinking):So I was able to send this guy off and no one cared I wonder if anyone would noticed if he was gone forever.....eru! does he ever stop talking?
Bilbo(continuing):Then I was totally p-oed and I says.........
Gandalf(scratching into table):Redrumredrumredrum
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