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Old 06-23-2018, 08:39 PM   #1
ArcusCalion
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Silmaril The Legend of Amroth and Nimrodel

This is the first draft of the chapter The Legend of Amroth and Nimrodel.

This chapter is a thoroughly mixed bag of sources, and so there is no base text. Because of this, I have marked every instance of any text used, so as to be easy to follow.

The markings are:
FY-HL-xx for all the headlines for the Fading Years.
AN-SL-xx for all expansions and changes to the narrative.

Some conventions of my writing:

Bold Text = source information, comments and remarks
{example} = text that should be deleted
[example] = normalized text, normally only used for general changes, as well as changes which are a part of replacement that is not grammatical.
Underlined Text = text changed for grammatical reasons in the process of combining and inserting and removing.
<source example> = additions with source information
...... = This section of the paragraph is unchanged from the source.

Quote:
FY-HL-08 <THE LEGEND OF AMROTH AND NIMRODEL>

AN-SL-01 <Appendix A After the end of the First Age the power and wealth of Khazad-dûm was much increased; ..... though its people began to dwindle.
It came to pass that in the middle of the Third Age .... and then the glory of Moria passed, and its people were destroyed or fled far away.
Most of these that escaped made their way into the North, .... he found the great jewel, the Arkenstone, Heart of the Mountain.>

AN-SL-02 <GC
{But during}During the Third Age Galadriel became filled with foreboding, and with Celeborn she journeyed to Lórien ..... for Elrond was their kinsman, since he had early in the Third Age {[in the year 109, according to the Tale of Years]} wedded their daughter Celebrían.> AN-SL-03 <HoME 12: TY4 His children were the twin brethren, Elladan and Elrohir, and Arwen Undómiel, the fairest of all the maidens of the Third Age, in whom the likeness of Lúthien her foremother returned to Middle-earth. These children were three parts of Elven-race, but the doom spoken at their birth was that they should live even as the Elves so long as their father remained in Middle-earth; but if he departed they should have then the choice either to pass over the Sea with him, or to become mortal, if they remained behind.>
AN-SL-04 <GC Am.
Amroth was King of Lórien, after his father Amdír was slain in the Battle of Dagorlad. His land had peace for many years after the defeat of Sauron. AN-SL-05 <GC Am. Amroth is explained as being a nickname derived from his living in a high talan or flet, the wooden platforms built high up in the trees of Lothlórien in which the Galadhrim dwelt AN-SL-06 {(see The Fellowship of the Ring II 6)}: it meant ‘upclimber, high climber.’ {It is said here that the}The custom of dwelling in trees was not a habit of the Silvan Elves in general, but was developed in Lórien by the nature and situation of the land: ..... disquiet ever since Dol Guldur was established in Mirkwood.
AN-SL-07 {Such an outlook post, used by wardens of the north-marches, was the flet in which Frodo spent the night.} The later abode of Celeborn in Caras Galadhon was also of the same origin: its highest flet {, which the Fellowship of the Ring did not see,} was the highest point in the land. Earlier the flet of Amroth ..... the only one that was later remembered in legend – was most probably derived.>
AN-SL-08
{Though Sindarin in descent he lived after the manner of the Silvan Elves and housed in the tall trees of a great green mound, ever after called Cerin Amroth. This he did because of his love for Nimrodel.} For long years he had loved {her}Nimrodel, and taken no wife, since she would not wed with him. ..... for the trees, she said, menaced her, and some moved to bar her way.
There Amroth and Nimrodel held a long debate; and at last they plighted their troth, .... did not come in ages past to the shores and have not yet beheld the Blessed Land.’
There is not here the place to tell of their journey .... but in the mountains are many unfriendly Men and evil things.’
The year was waning to autumn, and before long ..... though there were many legends concerning her fate.>
AN-SL-09 <GC Am.
In the tradition of his house Angelimir was the twentieth ..... was noble by blood as they were fair in face and mind.>

AN-SL-10 <GC
After the disaster in Moria and the sorrows of Lórien, {which was now left without a ruler (for Amroth was drowned in the sea in the Bay of Belfalas and left no heir), Celeborn and Galadriel returned to Lórien, and were welcomed by the people. There they dwelt while the Third Age lasted, but they took no title of King or Queen; for they said that they were only guardians of this small but fair realm, the last eastward outpost of the Elves.}> AN-SL-11 <GC when by means beyond the foresight of Galadriel Sauron's power actually crossed the Anduin and Lórien was in great peril, its king lost, its people fleeing and likely to leave it deserted to likely occupied by Orcs, that Galadriel and Celeborn took up their permanent abode in Lórien, and its government. But they took no title of King or Queen, and were the guardians that in the event brought it unviolated through the War of the Ring.> AN-SL-12 <moved from earlier in the note In her wisdom Galadriel saw that Lórien would be a stronghold and point of power to prevent the Shadow from crossing the Anduin in the war that must inevitably come before it was again defeated (if that were possible); but that it needed a rule of greater strength and wisdom than the Silvan folk possessed.>
AN-SL-13 <GC Appendix E
When Celeborn and Galadriel became the rulers of the Elves of the Lórien (who were mainly in origin Silvan Elves ..... had grown dim her name was often altered to Galadhriel. Not in Lórien itself.>
AN-SL-14 <GC Appendix C
Of old the Galadhrim had claimed to govern the woods as far as the falls in the Silverlode {where Frodo was bathed}; southward it had extended far ..... since Ent or Elf had set foot in the other land.>
AN-SL-15 <ORP
In all the days of the Third Age, after the fall of Gil-galad, Master Elrond abode in Imladris, ..... Dúnedain darkened and they became a wandering people.
In Eriador Imladris was the chief dwelling ..... Havens and mighty among the Wise.
Of the Three Rings that the Elves had preserved unsullied ..... Círdan knew to whom it had been committed.
Thus it was that in two domains the bliss and beauty ...... should pass into the twilight and the Dominion of Men begin.>

FY-HL-09 The Stewards

AN-SL-16 <Appendix A It was {thus} in the reign of King Eärnil, as later became clear, that the Witch-king escaping from the North ..... Many of the people that still remained in Ithilien deserted it.
AN-SL-17 <ORP Then Osgiliath, which in the waning of the people had long been deserted, became a place of ruins and a city of ghosts. But Minas Anor AN-SL-18 <moved from later in Appendix A ,which had become the chief city of the realm since the days of King Telemnar, and the residence of the kings,> endured, and it was named anew Minas Tirith, .... west of Anduin, were protected from war and destruction.>
Eärnur was a man like his father in valor, but not in wisdom. ..... retaining his vigor and skill to a later age than was then usual.
When Eärnur received the crown in 2043 the King of Minas Morgul challenged him to single combat, taunting him that he had not dared to stand before him in battle in the North. For that time Mardil the Steward restrained the wrath of the king. AN-SL-19 moved earlier {Minas Anor, which had become the chief city of the realm since the days of King Telemnar, and the residence of the kings, was now renamed Minas Tirith, as the city ever on guard against the evil of Morgul.}
Eärnur had held the crown only seven years when the Lord of Morgul ...... Good Steward ruled Gondor in his name for many years. AN-SL-20 <Appendix A [His son was] Vorondil the Hunter. [Footnote: The wild kine that were still to be found near the Sea of Rhûn were said to be descended from the Kine of Araw, the huntsman of the Valar, who alone of the Valar came often to Middle-earth in the Elder Days. Oromë is the High-elven form of his name.]>
Now the descendants of the kings had become few. Their numbers ..... King Eärnil in the Houses of the Dead, where Eärnur had left it.>
AN-SL-21 <Appendix A
The House of the Stewards was called the House of Húrin, .... Stewardship became hereditary as a kingship, from father to son or nearest kin.
Each new Steward indeed took office ..... against such thoughts the Ruling Stewards hardened their hearts.
Nonetheless the Stewards never sat on the ancient throne; ..... upon which was displayed a white tree in blossom beneath seven stars.>
AN-SL-22 <Tradition of Isildur
When the days of the Kings came to an end and Gondor was ruled by the Stewards descended from Húrin, the steward of King Minardil, ..... therefore be held to mean ‘as long as the state of Gondor endures.’
Nonetheless, the Stewards, partly from awe, and partly from ..... ever-green and at peace under the sky, until the Kingdom of Gondor was changed.>
AN-SL-23 <HoE
After the ending of the kings, {they}[the lords of Dol Amroth] became virtually independent princes, ruling over Belfalas, but they were at all times loyal to the Stewards as representing the ancient crown.>

AN-SL-24 <ORP
Ever most vigilant was Mithrandir, and he it was that most ..... and there was a watchful peace for a long while.> AN-SL-25 <Appendix A {But}[At this time] Thorin I {his} son [of Thráin I] removed from Erebor and went into the far North to the Grey Mountains, where most of Durin’s folk were now gathering; for those mountains were rich and little explored.>
AN-SL-26 <ORP
But at length the Shadow returned and its power increased; ..... But Saruman now began to study the lore of the Rings of Power, their making and their history.>
AN-SL-27 <HoME 12: TY4
About this time it is thought that Déagol the Stoor found the Ring in Anduin near the Gladden Fields where Isildur was slain as he swam. Déagol was murdered by his friend Sméagol, who took the Ring. Sméagol, now called Gollum, {is}was cast out by his own people, and {hides}hid in the Misty Mountains. He {vanishes}vanished out of all knowledge taking the Ring with him.>
AN-SL-28 <Appendix A
After Mardil Voronwë, who was reckoned the first ..... had no great or open war its borders were under constant threat.
In the last years of Denethor I the race of uruks, black orcs of great strength, ..... he became shrunken with pain and died twelve years after his father.>
AN-SL-29 <Appendix A
In the days of Arahad I, AN-SL-30 [Chieftain of the Dúnedain,] the Orcs, who had, as later appeared, long been secretly ..... a large band came so far west as to enter the Shire, and were driven off by Bandobras Took.>
FY-HL-08: This whole period leading up to the Watchful Peace is dominated by the history of Lothlorien, so it seemed fitting to have this as the title.

AN-SL-01: First we open with the story of the Destruction of Moria in order to set the stage for the unrest of Nimrodel and her desire to leave the forest.

AN-SL-02: Here we describe some of the very last movements of Galadriel and Celeborn according to Concerning Galadriel and Celeborn. I removed the comment at the end of CT's about the date in the Tale of Years.

AN-SL-03: This seems the most natural place to discuss Elrond's children, as his wedding with Celebrian is already told in retrospect. Therefore, even though his children were born much much earlier, I think it is ok to mention it here, since the wedding itself is told in retrospect. I took this bit from the Tale of Years draft, as it seems to be the largest text describing it.

AN-SL-04: Here we switch to the Amroth and Nimrodel narrative given in UT.

AN-SL-05: I added here the note about the origin of the name of Amroth, since this is his proper introduction in the text.

AN-SL-06: I removed two comments of CT in order to make the commentary into a narrative.

AN-SL-07: I removed the first sentence, as it references specific details of LotR and can't fit with our historical text. I also added in the word 'later' because Celeborn and Galadriel (at that point) do not live in Lorien, but in Rivendell.

AN-SL-08: Here we return to the Amroth story again, and I removed the first two sentences because the information therein was already contained in the note just given.

AN-SL-09: Here we tell of the legend of the elven blood in the line of Dol Amroth, from the Amroth section of UT.

AN-SL-10: Here we return to the very final part of Concerning Galadriel and Celborn. However, much of the end is replaced as follows.

AN-SL-11: This text, from a note at the end of the Galadriel and Celeborn chapter of UT, is a more detailed description of the events which I removed from the last addition.

[b]AN-SL-12]/b]: This is from an earlier point of the note used in 11, and I used it here as the need of the text dictated. I think this all flows best, even though the markings are a little confusing.

AN-SL-13: This is from the last appendix of the Galadriel and Celeborn chapter in UT. I think this fits best here, and I think it is worth including.

AN-SL-14: This is from the third appendix to the same chapter. It details the boundaries of the realm of Lorien under Celeborn and Galadriel. It's the only portion of the appendix used. I removed the mention of Frodo.

AN-SL-15: Here we turn to Of the Rings of Power. This addition describes the nature of the Three Rings, and the realms under their protection. I used it here because we have just established Lorien as a realm ruled by Galadriel, and so we can discuss its protection under the Ring. This passage also sets up the mystery of who owns Narya, and the fading of the elven rings at the end of the age.

FY-HL-09: This headline I struggled with. After the last addition, the subject matter of the material switches dramatically from elven to Gondorian focus. There should clearly be a subheading here to deliniate that, and I was unsure what to use. Originally I used The Stewards as the title of its own chapter right before The War of the Ring detailing the final days of the Stewards and the kingdom of Gondor. But in this part of this chapter is where the most Stewards technically ruled, and so I think it might make more sense to use it here as a subheading and change the other chapter to be called Concerning Gandalf, Saruman, and the Shire, although that is still not ideal, as it leaves the second half of that chapter with a lesser focus. I would appreciate any other suggestions for these headings and titles.

AN-SL-16: Here we return to the Gondorian narrative and the downfall of the last king. I removed the 'thus' because it has lost its antecedent.

AN-SL-17: This addition from Of the Rings of Power details things which are absent from the Appendix A narrative.

AN-SL-18: Since this is now the place where we mention the name change of the city, I figure we should move the unused part of the Appendix A narrative that discusses this change.

AN-SL-19: I just marked where I removed the 18 addition.

AN-SL-20: This is an odd notation, but in the beginning of Appendix A, there are lists of names of Stewards. I took this one, which has a footnote with valuable information, and added 'His son was' in order to make sense of it. I employ the same editing style later for the Kings of Rohan, so let me know if it is unclear.

AN-SL-21: Here we transition to the Stewards portion of Appendix A.

AN-SL-22: This is the portion of the Tradition of Isildur that talks about the role of the Stewards in general and their relation to the Tradition. There is only a bit left, which is the part discussing Cirion and Eorl, and is used at that place in the narrative.

AN-SL-23: This addition from Heirs of Elendil is the only place I could find detailing the role of the Princes of Dol Amroth in this event.

AN-SL-24: Here we turn back to Of the Rings of Power in order to introduce us to the Watchful Peace.

AN-SL-25: This addition from Durin's Folk in Appendix A is the only noteworthy event to occur during the Watchful Peace that was recorded in any of the texts beside the Tale of Years, and so I added it here.

AN-SL-26: Here we return to Of the Rings of Power to describe the end of the Watchful Peace. The entire 400 year period goes by without any narrative, which seems odd to me, but I couldn't find anything written about it.

AN-SL-27: Here is where the finding of the Ring by Gollum is discussed. The Tale of Years draft once again is the only narrative I could find of this outside of the text of LotR itself. I changed the tenses to agree with the rest of the work.

AN-SL-28: Here we have an overview of the Stewards taken from Appendix A.

AN-SL-29: Here we return to Arnor to discuss the relevant details of its history at this point in time.

AN-SL-30: I added this in so that we know who we are referring to, since it has been a while since we discussed the Dunedain.

This is a long and difficult chapter, and I am anticipating many additions from Fin, as well as suggestions to improve the narrative flow. This was one of the harder chapters to construct, so I am sure it is very imperfect.

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Old 06-24-2018, 04:13 PM   #2
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AN-SL-01: I think we should place this differently. I agree that it should be told here as a kind expansion of the Legend of Amroth and Nimrodel but especially if we follow with the earlier movement of Celeborn and Galadriel it seems out of place and loses its connection to the flight of Nimrodel. Therefore I would start the chapter with AN-SL-02 and place An-SL-01 thus:
Quote:
AN-SL-08{Though Sindarin in descent he lived after the manner of the Silvan Elves and housed in the tall trees of a great green mound, ever after called Cerin Amroth. This he did because of his love for Nimrodel.} For long years he had loved {her}Nimrodel, and taken no wife, since she would not wed with him. She loved him indeed, for he was beautiful even for one of the Eldar, and valiant and wise; but she was of the Silvan Elves, and regretted the incoming of the Elves from the West, who (as she said) brought wars and destroyed the peace of old. She would speak only the Silvan tongue, even after it had fallen into disuse among the folk of Lórien; and she dwelt alone beside the falls of the river Nimrodel to which she gave her name.>

AN-SL-01<Appendix A After the end of the First Age the power and wealth of Khazad-dûm was much increased; for it was enriched by many people and much lore and craft when the ancient cities of Nogrod and Belegost in the Blue Mountains were ruined at the breaking of Thangorodrim. The power of Moria endured throughout the Dark Years and the dominion of Sauron, for though Eregion was destroyed and the gates of Moria were shut, the halls of Khazad-dûm were too deep and strong and filled with a people too numerous and valiant for Sauron to conquer from without. Thus its wealth remained long unravished, though its people began to dwindle.
It came to pass that in the middle of the Third Age Durin was again its king, being the sixth of that name. The power of Sauron, servant of Morgoth, was then again growing in the world, though the Shadow in the Forest that looked towards Moria was not yet known for what it was. All evil things were stirring. The Dwarves delved deep at that time, seeking beneath Barazinbar for mithril, the metal beyond price that was becoming yearly ever harder to win. Thus they roused from sleep [Footnote to the text: Or released from prison; it may well be that it had already been awakened by the malice of Sauron.] a thing of terror that, flying from Thangorodrim, had lain hidden at the foundations of the earth since the coming of the Host of the West: a Balrog of Morgoth. Durin was slain by it, and the year after Náin I, his son; and then the glory of Moria passed, and its people were destroyed or fled far away.
Most of these that escaped made their way into the North, and Thráin I, Náin's son, came to Erebor, the Lonely Mountain, near the eastern eaves of Mirkwood, and there he began new works, and became King under the Mountain. In Erebor he found the great jewel, the Arkenstone, Heart of the Mountain.>

AN-SL-08.5<GC Am. {But when}When the terror came out of Moria and the Dwarves were driven out, and in their stead Orcs crept in, {she}Nimrodel fled distraught alone south into empty lands. Amroth followed her, and at last he found her under the eaves of Fangorn, which in those days drew much nearer to Lórien. She dared not enter the wood, for the trees, she said, menaced her, and some moved to bar her way.
AN-SL-08.6 to AN-SL-08.8: Did you leave out the story of Nimrodel rest at the fall of the Gilrain out by some reason or was it just forgotten? I would edit it thus:
Quote:
… Of what befell Nimrodel nothing is said here, though there were many legends concerning her fate.>
AN-SL-08.6<GC Am. When Nimrodel fled from Lórien it is said that seeking for the sea she became lost in the White Mountains, until at last (by what road or pass is not told) she came to a river that reminded her of her own stream in Lórien.> AN-SL-08.7<GC Am. The Gilrain came swiftly down from the mountains as did the other rivers of that region; but as it reached the end of the outlier of Ered Nimrais that separated it from the Celos{ [see the map accompanying Volume III of The Lord of the Rings]} it ran into a wide shallow depression. In this it wandered for a while, and formed a small mere at the southern end before it cut through a ridge and went on swiftly again to join the Serni.> AN-SL-08.8<GC Am.{Her}Nimrodel’s heart was lightened, and she sat by {a}the mere, seeing the stars reflected in its dim waters, and listening to the waterfalls by which the river went again on its journey down to the sea. There she fell into a deep sleep of weariness and so long she slept that she did not come down into Belfalas until Amroth's ship had been blown out to sea, and he was lost trying to swim back to Belfalas. This legend was well known in the Dor-en-Ernil (the Land of the Prince), and no doubt the name was given in memory of it.>
AN-SL-09<GC Am. In the tradition of his house Angelimir …
FY-HL-09: This headline it self is okay, and fits well to the content that follwos, but niether the headline nor the content fit into the chapter The Legend of Amroth and Nimrodel. The Galadriel stuff and even the telling about the Elven-Rings and what and where their bearers worked are okay under that title. But what conection is their between The Stewards and The Legend of Amroth and Nimrodel?
When it is fitting I would shift it to the next chapter The Ride of Eorl, as that tells about the connection between Gondor and the Eotheod and that was build-up by the Stewards, it seems better to explain first in that chapter how their rule came about.
About the second title we should discuss when we reach it.

AN-SL-21: Here I have agian additions from The Heirs of Elendil:
Quote:
AN-SL-21<Appendix A The House of the Stewards was called the House of Húrin, for they were descendants of the Steward of King Minardil (1621-34), Húrin of Emyn Arnen, a man of high Númenorean race. After his day the kings had always chosen their stewards from among his descendants; and after the days of Pelendur AN-SL-21.2<HoE , Steward to King Ondohir,> the Stewardship became hereditary as a kingship, from father to son or nearest kin. AN-SL-21.4<HoE{if}If a Steward left no son, the office might pass in the female line, that is to his sister-son, or to his father's sister-son.
The choice was made according to their worth among the near kin by the Council of Gondor. But the Council had no power of choice if there was a son living.
The Stewards belonged to a family of the ancient Elf-friends AN-SL-21.6<HoE though the Hurinionath were not in the direct line of descent from Elendil, they were ultimately of royal origin, and had in any case kept their blood more pure than most other families in the later ages.> {who}They used (beside the Common Speech) the {Noldorin}[Sindarin] tongue after the fashion of Gondor.[Footnote to the text: Since this had long ceased to be a 'cradle-tongue' in Gondor, but was learned in early youth (by those claiming Numenorean descent) from loremasters, and used by them as a mark of rank, it had changed very little since the Downfall; and though the Men of Gondor altered a little some of the sounds, they could still understand the Eldar and be understood by them. In the later days, however, they saw them seldom.] Their official names (after Mardil) were in that tongue and drawn mostly from the ancient legends of the Noldor and their dealings with the Edain.>
Each new Steward indeed took office with the oath …
AN-SL-30: I agree to the need of this addition, but I don’t think it is sufficient. I would add ’Chieftain of the Dúnedain of the North,’.

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Old 06-24-2018, 07:30 PM   #3
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AN-SL-01: Agreed.

AN-SL-08.6/08.7: I knew there was something I forgot! Thank you Fin.

AN-SL-08.8: This is an addition from the main text of The Rivers and Beacon Hills of Gondor, and it actually has a tiny bit more at the very end:
Quote:
and no doubt the name was given in memory of it, or rendered in Elvish form from an older name of the same meaning.
We should include the whole thing.

FY-HL-09: I agree that it has nothing to do with the legend of Amroth and Nimrodel, but unfortunately it also has nothing to do with the Ride of Eorl. I do not think the problem will be solved by putting this large swath of information at the beginning of a chapter with which it has nothing to do.

AN-SL-21: Great find! Agreed. One thing, it should be Ondoher, not Ondohir.

AN-SL-30: Agreed.

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Old 06-25-2018, 11:41 AM   #4
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FY-HL-09: Well if it does not fit to The Legend of Amroth and Nimrodel nor to The Ride of Eorl then we must separate it as a full chapter of its own. And I don’t think that these chapters become too small. Looking back they have a similar length to chapter 19 and 20 of our Silmarillion.

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Old 06-25-2018, 01:58 PM   #5
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Very well, this can work. Is there a different title that may fit better? Perhaps The Watchful Peace? I would still prefer to use a subheading in the chapter Concerning Gandalf, Saruman, and the Shire. But I suppose we can discuss that when we come to it.
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Old 06-26-2018, 10:23 AM   #6
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FY-HL-09: If we really need The Stewards later The Wachtful Peace might be an alternative. But let us wait for the later chapter before the decision.

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Old 01-11-2019, 03:38 PM   #7
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I think this chapter turned out really nice! Some comments/questions:

1) Is the title of the chapter "The Legend of Amroth and Nimrodel" or "Part of the Legend of Amroth and Nimrodel"? In Unfinished Tales, Christopher Tolkien chose to use the subheading "Amroth and Nimrodel" but apparently his father labeled his text "Part of the Legend of Amroth and Nimrodel recounted in brief". I personally like "The Legend of Amroth and Nimrodel" as the title, but that is just personal preference.

2) Some typos:

Quote:
for Lórien after the end of the first millennium of Third Age became a land
There is a missing "the" before "Third".

Quote:
Less than a ship-load; and they had only seaworthy ship.
There is a missing "one" before "only".

Quote:
its people fleeing and likely to leave it deserted to likely occupied by Orcs
The second "likely" should be "be".

3) I had a thought while reading through this chapter and parts of Unfinished Tales. Do you think we should explicitly call out the haven Amroth travels to by the name Edhellond? I believe Pauline Baynes' map is the first place this haven is explicitly named. For example, we could add something like:

Quote:
Then he told her of the haven in the south, AN-SL-08.5.1 Pauline Baynes’ map <Edhellond>, where many of his own people had come long ago.
I'm not sure if editorial additions like this are in the scope of the project, but I had
to look up which haven this was on the internet. We mention the haven of Edhellond in a footnote in "Of the Rings of Power". Explicitly naming the haven Edhellond in this chapter would create more of a sense of continuity.

4) I think this section is awkward:

Quote:
… Of what befell Nimrodel nothing is said here, though there were many legends concerning her fate.>
AN-SL-08.6<GC Am. When Nimrodel fled from Lórien it is said that seeking for the sea ...
It says "nothing is said here" about the fate of Nimrodel then immediately says stuff about the fate of Nimrodel. I propose this change:

Quote:
... Of what befell Nimrodel nothing is AN-SL-08.5.2 {said here} known, though there were many legends concerning her fate.>
AN-SL-08.6 <GC Am When Nimrodel fled from Lórien it is said that seeking for the sea ...
5) I added in a small part that was removed which I think makes the text flow better and adds in an additional detail.

Quote:
Galadriel and Celeborn took up their permanent abode in Lórien, and its government. AN-SL-11.5 Moved from AN-SL-10 <They were welcomed by the people.> But they took no title of King or Queen, and were the guardians that in the event brought it unviolated through the War of the Ring.
The fact that the people welcomes them is a nice detail and flows nicely into "But they took no title of King or Queen".

6) Just a comment:

Quote:
But the Red Ring remained hidden until the end, and none save Elrond and Galadriel and Círdan knew to whom it had been committed.
I like that we decided to keep this detail hidden in the text as well.
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Old 01-12-2019, 09:56 AM   #8
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1) The title we used so far was ‘The Legend of Amroth and Nimrodel’. And I agree that we should keep that. But may be we should indicate that we changed it from Tolkiens original.

2) Thanks again for pointing these out.

3) Yes such changes are in the scope of the project, so I agree to the change. But the editing should be a bit different (we never use to points in an editing mark):
Quote:
… Then he told her of the haven in the south, AN-SL-08.55<Pauline Baynes’ map Edhellond, >where many of his own people had come long ago. …
4) Okay, but I suppose:
Quote:
… Of what befell Nimrodel nothing is AN-SL-08.57{said here}[known for sure], though there were many legends concerning her fate.
5) Agreed.

6) Yes, I as well think this is fortunate decision.

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Old 01-12-2019, 12:44 PM   #9
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These are all wonderful, for 4) I would say "known for certain". I think that sounds more Tolkien-esque
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Old 01-12-2019, 01:23 PM   #10
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Yeah, "known for certain" sounds more Tolkien to me as well.
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Old 01-13-2019, 12:13 PM   #11
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I am okay with that as well.

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Old 01-14-2019, 10:00 PM   #12
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Here are my comments on "The Stewards" which became a new chapter after you guys discussed it (I definitely agree with making it a new chapter):

1) One small typo:

Quote:
They were not expelled while the Third Ago lasted...
"Ago" should be "Age".

2) In AN-SL-21 it says, referring to Hurin the steward:

Quote:
After his day the kings had always chosen their stewards from among his descendants..
But in "Of Gondor and the Heirs of Anarion" it said, referring to the family of Hurin:

Quote:
From that time on the kings usually chose their steward from this family…
"Of Gondor" says the stewards were usually chosen from Hurin's family, here we say they were always chosen from Hurin's family. I say we change "usually" in the "Of Gondor" chapter to "always" to be factually correct.

3) AN-SL-21.6 is missing an "and" to be grammatically correct since it is starting a new thought:

Quote:
The Stewards belonged to a family of the ancient Elf-friends AN-SL-21.6b <HoE and though the Húrinionath were not in the direct line of descent from Elendil, they were ultimately of royal origin, and had in any case kept their blood more pure than most other families in the later ages.>
4) AN-SL-24 feels like a really abrupt transition, but I can't think of anything to add which works well. This is my best attempt, but it feels slightly awkward:

AN-SL-24 <ORP In these days ever {Ever} most vigilant was Mithrandir ...

Do you guys have any better suggestions, or do you think it's fine as it stands?
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Old 01-15-2019, 12:39 PM   #13
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1) nice catch!

2) Agreed

3) Agreed

4) Personally I am fine with it as it stands. I gave it a space between the preceeding paragraph so that it would be clear it is beginning a new train of thought.
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Old 01-15-2019, 03:17 PM   #14
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1) Good catch!

2) Agreed, we should name that change GHA-SL-14.6.

3) AN-SL-21.6b: Agreed.

4) AN-SL-24: Yes, transition is bad. But your suggestion will change the sense to much. The biggest issue is for me the missing reference: compared to whom is Mithrandir most vigilant? And this lake of reference is due to our editing. So what about:
Quote:
AN-SL-24c<ORP Ever most vigilant among the Istari was Mithrandir, and he it was that most doubted the darkness in Mirkwood, ...
Does that smothe the transition in your opinion?

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Old 01-15-2019, 06:28 PM   #15
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4) You're exactly right, Findegil! I think the main reason this sentence felt off is because it doesn't have the proper context. In "Of the Rings of Power" this sentence is in a discussion of the Istari, so I like your proposed change.
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Old 01-15-2019, 07:03 PM   #16
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Agreed
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