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Old 02-24-2010, 09:35 AM   #13481
Tuor in Gondolin
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Tolkien

Those Rivendell elves boyfriends said they'd do WHAT
with this sword to Merry and Pippin just because they
got really friendly at Elrond's toga party!
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Walking To Rivendell and beyond 12,555 miles passed Nt./Day 5: Pass the beacon on Nardol, the 'Fire Hill.'
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Old 03-14-2010, 06:47 AM   #13482
Parmastahir
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All good things must come to an end

Sam: "Is that a sword in your hand or are you just happy to see me, Mr. Frodo."

Pippin: "I think it's time to break up this fellowship!"
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Old 03-14-2010, 09:36 PM   #13483
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Dark-Eye

Sam: "Cheer up, Mr. Frodo. You can't win if you don't try, my gaffer always used to say."
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Old 03-15-2010, 02:26 PM   #13484
Eönwë
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Eönwë is a guest of Elrond in Rivendell.Eönwë is a guest of Elrond in Rivendell.Eönwë is a guest of Elrond in Rivendell.
Pippin steps in something sticky.
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Old 03-15-2010, 02:59 PM   #13485
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Formendacil is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Formendacil is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Formendacil is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Formendacil is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
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The trouble with taking Hobbits on a major quest was that they were easily distracted by shiny or moving objects.

Pippin: "Squirrel!"
Merry: "Squirrel!"
Frodo: "Shiiiiiiiny!"
Sam: "Squirrel!"
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Old 04-18-2010, 07:55 AM   #13486
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It's either this . . .

or we need a new picture!

Pippin: "Aaauuggghhh!"

Merry: "Dum de dum doo doo, errrr . . ."

Frodo: "eh eh eh eh"

Sam: "I told you not look when Gandalf is uncloaking!"
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Old 04-18-2010, 01:38 PM   #13487
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The photographer despaired at the attempts of the latest Middle-earth boy band to appear 'aloof'.
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Old 05-18-2010, 06:33 AM   #13488
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Frodo had noticed that Gandalf seemed even older, more tired these days; he was taking a very long time to uncloak, anyway.
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Old 05-22-2010, 04:42 PM   #13489
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White Tree

Unsuccessful Hobbit invention #314: The human compass.

Frodo: My sword definitely points north!
Merry: No, mine says north...
Sam: Two norths?! Is it some sort of dark magic at work?
Pippin: But we just came from the north... this is stupid.
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'The Hobbit' 1st impressions: 1. Thorin is hot... Oh god, I fancy a dwarf. 2. Thranduil is hotter. 3. Is that... Figwit! 4. Does Elijah Wood never age?
2nd: It's all about Fili & Kili, really. 3rd: BARD! OMG, Bard.
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Old 06-07-2010, 02:43 PM   #13490
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Rune Son of Bjarne is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.Rune Son of Bjarne is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.Rune Son of Bjarne is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.
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Along the lines of Formendacil

Frodo was the first person ever to be hypnotized by a sword.
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Old 07-27-2010, 07:57 AM   #13491
narfforc
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narfforc has been trapped in the Barrow!
Sam: I told you not to go and follow Mr Merry again, He always getting Lost.
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Old 08-03-2010, 06:28 AM   #13492
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narfforc has been trapped in the Barrow!
Sean Astin:- Now remember what that nice Mr Jackson told us, 'Don't damage The Ringwraiths clothing', as he wants to hire it out to The Dementors in the next Potty Harry movie.
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Old 08-08-2010, 09:11 AM   #13493
Parmastahir
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New Picture

Help! We need a new picture! This one has been up since February. Please, precioussss!
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Old 08-08-2010, 10:43 AM   #13494
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Thumbs up

Okay then...



Theoden: These new pants are a little too big... And Horse shaped...

OR

Thoeden refused to admit he failed his horse riding test...
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Old 08-08-2010, 11:33 AM   #13495
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Inziladun is a guest of Galadriel in Lothlórien.Inziladun is a guest of Galadriel in Lothlórien.Inziladun is a guest of Galadriel in Lothlórien.Inziladun is a guest of Galadriel in Lothlórien.Inziladun is a guest of Galadriel in Lothlórien.
The Rohirrim's inability to fashion weight-training equipment led to some odd improvisations.
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Old 08-08-2010, 02:18 PM   #13496
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Loslote is a guest of Elrond in Rivendell.Loslote is a guest of Elrond in Rivendell.Loslote is a guest of Elrond in Rivendell.
Theoden soon realizes the problems involved with using a horse as a blanket.
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Old 08-08-2010, 03:18 PM   #13497
Tuor in Gondolin
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Snowmane: "Oh right. Great plan, kingy. Just charge right
into a humongous army led by a pteradactyl riding nazgul.
What could possibly go wrong? Next time I get a wizard
rider. I should have listened to my mother. Go north, young
horse, to Bree, she said. But no, I had to...."

Thedoen: "Will you shut up. I'm dying here!"
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Old 08-10-2010, 08:42 AM   #13498
narfforc
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narfforc has been trapped in the Barrow!
'I'm supposed to take the saddle off when you are standing, not when you've lain down Snowmane!'



or




The untimely Death of Theoflat Edskew
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Old 08-10-2010, 11:49 AM   #13499
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Theoden: This wasn't in the drivers manual!

or

Theoden: You know, this could be a very relaxing day, laying here in the sun, no clouds. Too bad this horse is laying on me!

Snowmane: I have a name you know!
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I'm going to buy you a kitty, I'm going to let you fall in love with the kitty, and one cold, winter night, I'm going to steal into your house and punch you in the face!
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Old 08-11-2010, 01:30 AM   #13500
Eomer of the Rohirrim
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Eomer of the Rohirrim is a guest at the Prancing Pony.Eomer of the Rohirrim is a guest at the Prancing Pony.
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"A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a- Curse you, ironic genie!"
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Old 08-11-2010, 01:38 AM   #13501
Hookbill the Goomba
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Thumbs up

Theoden thought there was something suspicious about the new weight lifting equipment in the Edoras gym.
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Old 08-11-2010, 03:28 PM   #13502
Mattius
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GET YOUR HOOFS OFF OF ME YOU DAMN DIRTY HORSE!

or

As he awoke in the morning, Theoden realised that he should never have refused Don Corleone's demand.
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Old 08-17-2010, 08:23 PM   #13503
Parmastahir
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Parmastahir has just left Hobbiton.
News Flash!

"This just in on Edoras Channel 5 Evening News! A horrible accident has occurred on the 'Ride the Mearas' Carousel. We take you live to the amusement park where correspondent Anderune is on the scene . . . "
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Old 08-17-2010, 08:26 PM   #13504
Parmastahir
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New Flash!

Théoden: "Here I am trapped under Snowmane. I feel the approach of the Witch King! Oh no . . . It's worse. AAIIIYYEEE! GANDALF UNCLOAKING!"
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Old 08-17-2010, 08:31 PM   #13505
Parmastahir
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Parmastahir has just left Hobbiton.
One for the record books . . .

Going for the Guiness Book of World Records for lowest limbo under a horse , Théoden's attempt goes awry when he knocks the bar loose.

(Guess I had a bit of pent up humor waiting to bust loose with a new picture!)
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Old 08-17-2010, 10:17 PM   #13506
Finrod Felagund
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Theoden : I was going to throw my sword to the Witch-King's chest when this narcoleptic horse threw up!
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Old 08-18-2010, 09:20 PM   #13507
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What's in a word?

Théoden: "I said that I was cold and wanted a horseblanket. Not a horse as a blanket!"
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Old 08-18-2010, 09:34 PM   #13508
Parmastahir
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Lord of the Python (or is it 'Monty of the Rings'?)

WK: "Victory is mine! Glory to Lord Sauron!"

Théoden: "Have at you!"

WK: "You're kidding me, right?"

Théoden: "Certainly not! Afraid to contest the field?"

WK: "Look, you can't get out from under your horse much less make a run at me."

Théoden: "I've had worse!"

WK: "You lie!"

Théoden: "C'mon you pansy!"

WK: "What are you going to do, bite my legs off?"

Théoden: "Alright, we'll call it a draw."
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Old 08-18-2010, 09:41 PM   #13509
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Parmastahir has just left Hobbiton.
Not Quite the Distance . . .

Théoden realizes too late that he's too old for the horse put at the quadrennial Rohan Olympics.
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Old 08-18-2010, 10:21 PM   #13510
Oddwen
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Oddwen is a guest of Elrond in Rivendell.Oddwen is a guest of Elrond in Rivendell.Oddwen is a guest of Elrond in Rivendell.
Theoden: Argh! Not again! If I can't put the cart before the horse, and putting the horse before the cart ends in this, what am I supposed to do?

Or...

I know an Rohirrim who swallowed a Ring...
I don't know why he swallowed that Ring, perhaps he'll die!

I know a Rohirrim who swallowed a Gollum
It wiggled and jiggled and tickled inside him!

He swallowed the Gollum to catch the Ring
But I don't know why he swallowed that Ring, perhaps he'll die!

I know a Rohirrim who swallowed a Strider
He swallowed the Strider to catch the Gollum
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside him
He swallowed the Gollum to catch the Ring
But I don't know why he swallowed that Ring, perhaps he'll die!

I know a Rohirrim who swallowed a Glorfindel
He swallowed the Glorfindel to catch the Strider
He swallowed the Strider to catch the Gollum
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside him
He swallowed the Gollum to catch the Ring
But I don't know why he swallowed that Ring, perhaps he'll die!

I know a Rohirrim who swallowed an Arwen
He swallowed the Arwen to catch the Glorfindel
He swallowed the Glorfindel to catch the Strider
He swallowed the Strider to catch the Gollum
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside him
He swallowed the Gollum to catch the Ring
But I don't know why he swallowed that Ring, perhaps he'll die!

I know a Rohirrim who swallowed an Elrond
He swallowed the Elrond to catch the Arwen
He swallowed the Arwen to catch the Glorfindel
He swallowed the Glorfindel to catch the Strider
He swallowed the Strider to catch the Gollum
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside him
He swallowed the Gollum to catch the Ring
But I don't know why he swallowed that Ring, perhaps he'll die!

I know a Rohirrim who swallowed a Gil-Galad
He swallowed the Gil-Galad to catch the Elrond
He swallowed the Elrond to catch the Arwen
He swallowed the Arwen to catch the Glorfindel
He swallowed the Glorfindel to catch the Strider
He swallowed the Strider to catch the Gollum
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside him
He swallowed the Gollum to catch the Ring
But I don't know why he swallowed that Ring, perhaps he'll die!

I know a Rohirrim who swallowed a Sauron
He swallowed the Sauron to catch the Gil-Galad
He swallowed the Gil-Galad to catch the Elrond
He swallowed the Elrond to catch the Arwen
He swallowed the Arwen to catch the Glorfindel
He swallowed the Glorfindel to catch the Strider
He swallowed the Strider to catch the Gollum
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside him
He swallowed the Gollum to catch the Ring
But I don't know why he swallowed that Ring, perhaps he'll die!

I know a Rohirrim who swallowed a Luthien
He swallowed the Luthien to catch the Sauron
He swallowed the Sauron to catch the Gil-Galad
He swallowed the Gil-Galad to catch the Elrond
He swallowed the Elrond to catch the Arwen
He swallowed the Arwen to catch the Glorfindel
He swallowed the Glorfindel to catch the Strider
He swallowed the Strider to catch the Gollum
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside him
He swallowed the Gollum to catch the Ring
But I don't know why he swallowed that Ring, perhaps he'll die!

I know a Rohirrim who swallowed a Silmaril
He swallowed the Silmaril to catch the Luthien
He swallowed the Luthien to catch the Sauron
He swallowed the Sauron to catch the Gil-Galad
He swallowed the Gil-Galad to catch the Elrond
He swallowed the Elrond to catch the Arwen
He swallowed the Arwen to catch the Glorfindel
He swallowed the Glorfindel to catch the Strider
He swallowed the Strider to catch the Gollum
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside him
He swallowed the Gollum to catch the Ring
But I don't know why he swallowed that Ring, perhaps he'll die!

I know a Rohirrim who swallowed a Starglass
He swallowed the Starglass to catch the Silmaril
He swallowed the Silmaril to catch the Luthien
He swallowed the Luthien to catch the Sauron
He swallowed the Sauron to catch the Gil-Galad
He swallowed the Gil-Galad to catch the Elrond
He swallowed the Elrond to catch the Arwen
He swallowed the Arwen to catch the Glorfindel
He swallowed the Glorfindel to catch the Strider
He swallowed the Strider to catch the Gollum
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside him
He swallowed the Gollum to catch the Ring
But I don't know why he swallowed that Ring, perhaps he'll die!

I know a Rohirrim who swallowed a Hobbit
He swallowed the Hobbit to catch the Starglass
He swallowed the Starglass to catch the Silmaril
He swallowed the Silmaril to catch the Luthien
He swallowed the Luthien to catch the Sauron
He swallowed the Sauron to catch the Gil-Galad
He swallowed the Gil-Galad to catch the Elrond
He swallowed the Elrond to catch the Arwen
He swallowed the Arwen to catch the Glorfindel
He swallowed the Glorfindel to catch the Strider
He swallowed the Strider to catch the Gollum
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside him
He swallowed the Gollum to catch the Ring
But I don't know why he swallowed that Ring, perhaps he'll die!


I know a Rohirrim who swallowed Bill the Pony

...Bill the Pony? He's dead, of course!
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I listen for returning feet and voices at the door


Last edited by Oddwen; 08-19-2010 at 10:43 AM. Reason: I edited this post to catch some errors, i made some errors by typing too fast, i typed too fast 'cause the joke was long...
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Old 08-19-2010, 06:11 AM   #13511
Parmastahir
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Parmastahir has just left Hobbiton.
Breaking News (Pun Intended)

"This just in on Edoras Channel 5 Evening News! A horrible accident has occurred during The Horse event at the quadrenniel Rohan Olympics. We take you live to the venue where correspondent Anderune is on the scene . . . "
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Old 09-08-2010, 02:02 AM   #13512
Eomer of the Rohirrim
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Eomer of the Rohirrim is a guest at the Prancing Pony.Eomer of the Rohirrim is a guest at the Prancing Pony.
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Gandalf discovered that uncloaking in front of horses could have dire consequences.
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Old 09-12-2010, 01:42 PM   #13513
Kuruharan
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Kuruharan is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.Kuruharan is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.Kuruharan is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.
Boots

Theoden: I've fallen...and I can't get up!
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Old 09-15-2010, 08:11 AM   #13514
SamwiseGamgee
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SamwiseGamgee has just left Hobbiton.
Pipe

Alas, methinks a change is needed!



Eomer: 'I don't think anyone saw us, but Grima- this has to stop. It's tearing me apart!'
Grima: 'Oh, shut up and kiss me again, you handsome big horsemaster, you!'
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Old 09-16-2010, 01:38 PM   #13515
skip spence
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skip spence is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.skip spence is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.
Time for a change then...


(starting off with the obvious)

Butterbur: The gentleman over there? Oh lordy, look away! That's Gandalf and he's uncloaking again!
Sam: Too late...
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Old 09-16-2010, 09:39 PM   #13516
Oddwen
Drummer in the Deep
 
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Location: Next Sunday A.D.
Posts: 2,246
Oddwen is a guest of Elrond in Rivendell.Oddwen is a guest of Elrond in Rivendell.Oddwen is a guest of Elrond in Rivendell.
Frodo: I don't want that pie. I wanted the pie next to it.

Barliman: What, that pie? You can't have that pie.

Frodo: I paid you extra for that very pie!

Barliman: I tell you, you cannot have that pie! They are all the same, anyway!

Pie: Quack!

Barliman: ...... The other pie, coming right up, sir.
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Old 09-17-2010, 12:04 AM   #13517
Loslote
The Werewolf's Companion
 
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Location: The Moon
Posts: 3,032
Loslote is a guest of Elrond in Rivendell.Loslote is a guest of Elrond in Rivendell.Loslote is a guest of Elrond in Rivendell.
Frodo: It's a creeper!

Sam: It's a Ringwraith!

Barliman: It's just Strider.
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Old 09-17-2010, 01:19 AM   #13518
Hookbill the Goomba
Alive without breath
 
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Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 6,153
Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Thumbs up

Butterbur was not sure if this was the right place to test out Frodo's jet-pack...
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THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...
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Old 09-17-2010, 03:04 AM   #13519
SamwiseGamgee
Shade of Carn Dûm
 
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Location: In the warm bosom of a Warg
Posts: 378
SamwiseGamgee has just left Hobbiton.
Pipe

Frodo: Strider you say? Hmmm. And just go through with me one more time why he's wearing high heels.
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Old 09-17-2010, 07:03 AM   #13520
Inziladun
Gruesome Spectre
 
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Location: Heaven's doorstep
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Inziladun is a guest of Galadriel in Lothlórien.Inziladun is a guest of Galadriel in Lothlórien.Inziladun is a guest of Galadriel in Lothlórien.Inziladun is a guest of Galadriel in Lothlórien.Inziladun is a guest of Galadriel in Lothlórien.
"Here you go, Mister Underhill. Compliments of your 'Southern friends' in the corner. They said not to worry if it tastes funny."
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