Visit The *EVEN NEWER* Barrow-Downs Photo Page |
03-19-2006, 06:40 AM | #10041 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 6,153
|
Denethor: How dare Gandalf call me childish? He has no basis for such an assumption. *slurp* Bring me my Teddy! I need a nap!
__________________
I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
03-19-2006, 07:32 AM | #10042 |
Scion of The Faithful
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: The brink, where hope and despair are akin. [The Philippines]
Posts: 5,430
|
Dead butler.
Denethor: Why is this Ecto Cooler? I told you to get me Orange Lavaburst!
__________________
フェンリス鴨 (Fenrisu Kamo) The plot, cut, defeated. I intend to copy this sig forever - so far so good...
Last edited by Nilpaurion Felagund; 03-19-2006 at 07:35 AM. |
03-19-2006, 09:41 AM | #10043 |
Wight
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Green Hill Country
Posts: 196
|
"Well, Master Peregrin, I hope that you used yesterday to your profit, and to your liking? Though I fear that the board is barer in this city than you could wish. What would you do in my service?"
"I thought, sir, that you would tell me my duties." "I will, when I learn what you are fit for . . . which would seem to be eating. Therefore, you will be my food taster. Servants! Bring more Hi-C and some Twinkies. Better you than me, if you know what I mean!"
__________________
Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement. For even the very wise can not see all ends. |
03-19-2006, 09:48 AM | #10044 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 6,153
|
More product placement jokes, sir!
Balrogs in 'bling'? Gandalf with a Marks and Spencer's bag? Lembas replaced my Big Macs? And now this! No wonder people were confused as to what time setting Jackson wanted the films to be in.
OR Denethor: And Bring me some Barrow B-O! Or even: Denethor: That Gandalf is so stupid and ungentlemanly. Not like me. I'm an inteli-gent!
__________________
I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... Last edited by Hookbill the Goomba; 03-19-2006 at 09:58 AM. |
03-19-2006, 09:13 PM | #10045 |
Raffish Rapscallion
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-(
Posts: 3,025
|
Denethor: "I hope, Boromir, that you don't think this makes up for you not bringing me the Ring..."
|
03-19-2006, 09:42 PM | #10046 |
Shadow of the Past
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Minas Mor-go
Posts: 1,032
|
Everyone knew Gondor was headed downhill when the Steward began endorsing fruit juices.
Denethor: Buy Hi-C! With 750% of your daily recommended dose of vitamin C, it's on fire! *winks, thumbs-up* |
03-19-2006, 10:16 PM | #10047 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: |Away
Posts: 654
|
Denethor knew that drinking his Hi-C too fast might have ended up getting his tongue suctioned to his straw... But how fast is too fast? Not even the wisest could tell.
__________________
"Loo, what sholde a man in thyse dayes now wryte, 'egges' or 'eyren'?" - Caxton, Eneydos
|
03-19-2006, 10:48 PM | #10048 |
Sword of Spirit
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Oh, I'm around.
Posts: 1,507
|
Denethor: "No, I know you're wrong! Let me finish this off and then we'll really see if I'm drinking from a box or a bag!"
OR Pippin: "What's that you're drinking? Oh, wait, let me look...*looks* Oh, now 'Hi see!'*falls on floor laughing*"
__________________
I'm on a Mission from God. |
03-20-2006, 12:45 AM | #10049 | |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 6,153
|
Quote:
OR Denethor: What do you mean, "a bit big"? It's "Fun size"! FUN, I tell you!
__________________
I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
|
03-20-2006, 07:51 AM | #10050 |
Wight
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: In crazy captions waving an angry fist at the outside world
Posts: 155
|
Denethor:This isn't oil!! I said bring oil not hi c!! For gods sake are you deaf!?
Guard: Hmmm? Sorry I wasn't listening! Denethor: |
03-20-2006, 08:07 AM | #10051 |
Byronic Brand
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: The 1590s
Posts: 2,825
|
So terrible were the travails of the Siege of Gondor that the Steward himself resorted to drinking anakronisms...
__________________
Among the friendly dead, being bad at games did not seem to matter -Il Lupo Fenriso |
03-20-2006, 11:29 AM | #10052 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 6,153
|
Denethor: I'll have you know, Peregrine Took, that this is a very sophisticated drink in Gondor.
Pippin: Then why are the guards sniggering?
__________________
I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
03-20-2006, 01:19 PM | #10053 |
Sword of Spirit
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Oh, I'm around.
Posts: 1,507
|
An ancient Gondorian add used to read: "HI-C: The drink of Kings!"
Denethor: "Maybe if I drink enough HI-C, they'll let me be king!"
__________________
I'm on a Mission from God. |
03-20-2006, 04:11 PM | #10054 |
Sword of Spirit
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Oh, I'm around.
Posts: 1,507
|
MallornCard Ad
Stewardly robes: $293.50
Stewardly throne: $750.00 Orange-Lavaburst HI-C: $0.95 Forgetting the worries of ruling a nation while sipping juice from a box like a kid: Priceless There are some things money can't buy; for everything else there's MallornCard.
__________________
I'm on a Mission from God. |
03-20-2006, 04:20 PM | #10055 |
Raffish Rapscallion
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-(
Posts: 3,025
|
Hi-C Ad
Denethor: "Drink Hi-C! It really puts the curl in your wig."
|
03-20-2006, 07:03 PM | #10056 |
Hauntress of the Havens
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: IN it, but not OF it
Posts: 2,724
|
Studies show that drinking Hi-C increases a person's combustibility by 100%.
|
03-20-2006, 08:29 PM | #10057 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
|
It can be said by many that Denethor's pyro problems began in the wee days of ill govern daycare and otherwise suspicious sugary drinks his nursemaid would slip him on the fear of a toasty demise...
~ Ka
__________________
Vinur, vinur skilur tú meg? Veitst tú ongan loyniveg? Hevur tú reikađ líka sum eg, í endaleysu tokuni? |
03-20-2006, 08:59 PM | #10058 |
Drummer in the Deep
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Next Sunday A.D.
Posts: 2,246
|
*slllllluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrpppp ppppppp!*
Or... Denethor was *very* grumpy, as he had just neglected to remember the rule every mother teaches their child: NEVER squeeze a juice box.
__________________
But all the while I sit and think of times there were before
I listen for returning feet and voices at the door |
03-20-2006, 09:35 PM | #10059 |
Raffish Rapscallion
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-(
Posts: 3,025
|
Denthor: “I hope MapQuest doesn't think this lame sample of Hi-C makes up for them getting me lost for the millionth time...”
|
03-21-2006, 12:49 AM | #10060 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 6,153
|
Another Family Guy joke...
Denethor: *Slurp* *Spit* Yuk! What's in this?
Pippin: Sugar! Denethor: Well bring it back with manure in it like I asked! Pippin: Would you prefer a new picture? Bilbo: Nobody panic! Everything is under control. Just ignore the fire... I mean... There is no fire!
__________________
I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... Last edited by Hookbill the Goomba; 03-21-2006 at 01:03 AM. |
03-21-2006, 03:07 AM | #10061 |
Animated Skeleton
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: England
Posts: 48
|
Lesson 1 in fire-handeling: Never let Hobbitses take control. |
03-21-2006, 03:22 AM | #10062 |
Scion of The Faithful
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: The brink, where hope and despair are akin. [The Philippines]
Posts: 5,430
|
Auction?
Bilbo: Do I hear five pieces of gold? Five pieces of gold for a fire extinguisher*?
__________________ *italics due to anakronism rules .
__________________
フェンリス鴨 (Fenrisu Kamo) The plot, cut, defeated. I intend to copy this sig forever - so far so good...
|
03-21-2006, 03:29 AM | #10063 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Muddy-earth
Posts: 1,307
|
Bilbo telling his stories again: Now this is the really interesting bit. Imagine that is Lake Town and this, he said, holding up the object in his left hand, is The Old Dwarven Device of Extinguishing
__________________
[B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER. |
03-21-2006, 07:09 AM | #10064 |
Wight
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Green Hill Country
Posts: 196
|
"In closing, I say 'Live Long and Prosper!' Dang! I can never get my fingers to go like Mr. Spock's!!!"
__________________
Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement. For even the very wise can not see all ends. |
03-21-2006, 07:28 AM | #10065 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: May 2003
Location: The Party Tree
Posts: 1,096
|
It's a little known fact that I took down Smaug with this, not Bard! I shall now demonstrate.
__________________
Holby is an actual flesh-and-blood person, right? Not, say a sock-puppet of Nilp’s, by any chance? ~Nerwen, WWCIII |
03-21-2006, 07:30 AM | #10066 |
A Mere Boggart
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: under the bed
Posts: 4,814
|
Another intake of new employees at the Green Dragon sit through an induction session given by Bilbo Baggins, Principal Health & Safety Officer. Lesson 5: Why pipes and cake do not mix.
__________________
Gordon's alive!
|
03-21-2006, 08:04 AM | #10067 |
Maundering Mage
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 4,679
|
Tiring of those trick candles that reignite themselves Bilbo took desperate measures this year.
or Bilbo was never good at telling a story Little Hobbit Child: Ummm Mister Bilbo sir, I think your cake is catching the woods on fir... Bilbo:....Hold on there little one, I haven't finished telling you my story about how I invented this red little device. I call it 'the red device'. You see it was on my birthday and I was floating into lake town, though at the time the fact that it was my birthday had slipped my mind. Now, I was riding a barrell not unlike this one on which I am standing, did I mention that I invented the red device which I hold...
__________________
When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators. -- P. J. O'Rourke |
03-21-2006, 08:39 AM | #10068 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 6,153
|
Bilbo: Who threw this?
OR Bilbo: Well, Frodo, if you ever see the Eye of Sauron, you may need this!
__________________
I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
03-21-2006, 11:39 AM | #10069 |
Raffish Rapscallion
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-(
Posts: 3,025
|
The life-sized cardboard stand-up Bilbo looked reassuring but it wasn't the most practical thing for the situation...
|
03-21-2006, 12:37 PM | #10070 |
Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 6,153
|
Bilbo: Stay back! I'm not afraid to use this!
OR Bilbo the salesman tried his luck with fire safety for the Denethor appreciation society...
__________________
I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
03-21-2006, 01:20 PM | #10071 |
Raffish Rapscallion
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-(
Posts: 3,025
|
Bilbo: "I don't need the extinguisher, I can put it out by my own methods! Concentrate...feel the force flow through you...concentrate..."
Someone in the crowd: "Just use the extinguisher already!!" |
03-21-2006, 01:59 PM | #10072 |
Wight
|
One extinguisher to rule them all
One extinguisher to find them One extinguisher to bring them all And in the darkness ... extinguish them -- OR -- If only it read: "Ash ghash durbatuluk Ash ghash gimbatul Ash ghash thrakatuluk Agh burzum-ishi ghabatul" then they would be ready.
__________________
"Come away! Let the cowards keep this city!" -- Fëanor to the Noldor Last edited by Eldar14; 03-21-2006 at 02:10 PM. |
03-21-2006, 02:04 PM | #10073 |
Mischievous Candle
|
The mathoms Bilbo gave away got more and more peculiar every year.
__________________
Fenris Wolf
|
03-21-2006, 02:12 PM | #10074 |
Denethor's True Love
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Mirkwood. With Thranduil... *swoon*
Posts: 2,118
|
Bilbo was the only one sensible enough to take precautions where Gandalf's dodgy fireworks were concerned.
__________________
'The Hobbit' 1st impressions: 1. Thorin is hot... Oh god, I fancy a dwarf. 2. Thranduil is hotter. 3. Is that... Figwit! 4. Does Elijah Wood never age? 2nd: It's all about Fili & Kili, really. 3rd: BARD! OMG, Bard. |
03-21-2006, 03:04 PM | #10075 |
Cryptic Aura
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 6,163
|
Bilbo stood ready with his canister of helium in case the doll who popped out of the cake needed a little touch-up reinflation.
__________________
I’ll sing his roots off. I’ll sing a wind up and blow leaf and branch away. |
03-21-2006, 03:19 PM | #10076 |
A Mere Boggart
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: under the bed
Posts: 4,814
|
The Hobbits held their breath and their noses as they waited for Bilbo's grand finale to his Le Petomane of The Shire act.
__________________
Gordon's alive!
|
03-21-2006, 03:38 PM | #10077 |
Maundering Mage
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 4,679
|
Bilbo reading the instructions on how to operate the extinguisher
Bilbo: Wait! This doesn't seem quite right... 1. Hold extinguisher firmly 2. Pull out ring *handwritten* from your pocket Ahhh that gollum trying to trick me again! (sorry this was funnier in my mind because I had a hand drawn image)
__________________
When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators. -- P. J. O'Rourke |
03-21-2006, 06:17 PM | #10078 |
Shadow of the Past
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Minas Mor-go
Posts: 1,032
|
Bilbo: Listen, ladies and gentleman! I, the amazing Bilbo, will defy the powers of nature, by eating this flaming cake, and living to tell the tale!
Hobbits: *gasps!* Bilbo: Now folks, this amazing act of superhuman strength is extremely dangerous! I have filled this tub behind me with water, in the event that I am lit on fire! Hobbits: *gasps again!* Bilbo: And my only help will be this magical red bottle, discovered in the deepest of dwarf-halls during my exotic travels across the known world! Hobbits: *ooooh* |
03-21-2006, 06:54 PM | #10079 |
Shade of Carn Dűm
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: In the warm bosom of a Warg
Posts: 378
|
Well, here it comes...
Bilbo: And believe me, if that Gandalf even looks as though his cloak's coming off he'll discover just exactly what it feels like to have 25 litres of pressurised CO2 unleashed on your body!
__________________
-- Well, I'm back. |
03-21-2006, 07:40 PM | #10080 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
|
Bilbo had to think fast as the crowd of angry party children soon discovered his mistake with the cake...
Bilbo: Hey! Look at this! ... Anyone into magic tricks? ... Anyone? ~ Aesthete
__________________
Vinur, vinur skilur tú meg? Veitst tú ongan loyniveg? Hevur tú reikađ líka sum eg, í endaleysu tokuni? |
Thread Tools | |
Display Modes | |
|
|