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Old 07-14-2003, 09:25 AM   #1
Elennar Starfire
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Sting Movie Bloopers Continued

Since the old movie bloopers thread was closed for length, I'm starting a new one.

In Rivendell, when Bilbo gets his evil face, Frodo is so startled that he jumps backwards and falls out the window.
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Old 07-14-2003, 10:09 AM   #2
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Eye

At the Doors of Moria:

GANDALF: Annon edhellen! Edro hi ammen!

*doors won't open*

*Gandalf trys to push them open*

FRODO: Mellon?

*The doors suddenly open and Gandalf falls on his face*
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Old 07-14-2003, 11:23 AM   #3
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Sting

For those of you who have seen the Simpsons stonecutters episode.

Gandalf: You cannot pass!
Balrog: But what if I was to shake your hand... like this!
(secret stonecutter handshake)
Gandalf: I didn't know you were a member! Here, pass all you want
(Gandalf steps aside to let the Balrog pass. Unfortunately, what with the bridge being so narrow, he falls off it.)
Gandalf: I cannot fly! You fools, help me!
Balrog: i'll save you
(Balrog jumps off the edge of the bridge. On the long way down an argument starts about whether cheese tastes green. A fight starts)

Well, it was funny in my head. But then, my sense of humour is rather... strange.
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Old 07-14-2003, 11:41 AM   #4
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Sting

So sorry, Mr. Barrow-Wight! I won't do any more Lord of the pants, I promise.

[ July 21, 2003: Message edited by: Elennar Starfire ]
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Old 07-14-2003, 03:53 PM   #5
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In Lothlorien-

Galadriel: May it be a light for you in dark places, when all other lights go out. *the phial crackles and shorts out*

OR...

Galadriel: Farewell, Frodo Baggins.
*Galadriel starts kissing Frodo on the mouth*
Celeborn: Gosh! You do this every time! [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]
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Old 07-15-2003, 10:42 AM   #6
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Sting

Wouldn't it be funny if someone got hiccups?

Legolas: Crebain! from *hic* Dunland!

Gandalf: I am the servant of the secret *hic* fire, wielder of the *hic* flame of Anor! You cannot *hic* pass!
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Old 07-16-2003, 08:49 AM   #7
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Sting

At Amon Hen -

Boromir: My brother, my captain, my King.
Aragorn: Boromir, I am your father.
Boro: No, you're my brother..... my captain... my king.
Ara: No, I am your father.... F-A-T-H-E-R
Boro: But the script quite plainly says My brother, my captain, my king.
Ara: *looks at script* What, you mean this ISN'T star wars? So... this is star trek.
Boro: That's it. I'll be in my trailer. *storms off*
PJ: Wait, you still have to die!

Ok.... it was funny in my head...

At the gate of Mordor -

*trolls are opening the gates*
Sam: Frodo, what are they doing?
Frodo: It seems to me, my dear Watson, that they are attempting to open the gates to let in those Easterlings and gatehr an army of unbeatable strength.
Sam: *has an idea* Why don't we actually try to stop them and so foil Sauron's plan? *runs towards the gates*
PJ: FRODO! Stop him! He's gonna ruin the set, let alone the script!
Frodo: Go Gollum, my faithful pet.
Gollum: Gollum. Gollum Oh, this is so degrading. *pushes Sam off the edge*
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Old 07-16-2003, 10:29 AM   #8
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Oxymoron!

(The fellowship enter Lothlorien. Leaves are falling about them)

Aragorn: Idly fall the leaves of Lorien.
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Old 07-16-2003, 10:48 AM   #9
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Sting

Extended version:

On the platform in Lothlorien the fellowship waits as Haldir and Aragorn argue in Elvish.

Pippin: I wonder what they are saying.

Aragorn in Elvish: Come on Haldir let us through. Just one night, we will even clean our own bathrooms.

Haldir in Elvish: For the last time Aragorn, your Master card was declined. No Visa, no check in, no room.

[img]smilies/tongue.gif[/img]
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Legolas 20 ales later: I feel something, a slight tingling in my fingers. I think it's affecting me.

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Old 07-16-2003, 02:10 PM   #10
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Sting

Aragorn is floating down the river, half dead. Arwen appears above him.
She leans down to kiss him, but instead falls on top of him.

Aragorn (spluttering): What the- I was having a great dream there!

Crew from above: Shouldn't have had those extra donughts, Arwen! *dangles broken rope*


*applauds all other bloopers and hands Meneltarmacil a Blooper Award for the super image of Gandalf falling flat on his face *giggles*
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Old 07-16-2003, 05:21 PM   #11
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Thumbs up

Quote:
*applauds all other bloopers and hands Meneltarmacil a Blooper Award for the super image of Gandalf falling flat on his face *giggles*
Why thank you, Meela. [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]
*humbly accepts it*
By the way, have you checked out some of my posts on the "New Movie Script" thread?

[ July 16, 2003: Message edited by: Meneltarmacil ]
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Old 07-16-2003, 06:21 PM   #12
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The first thread was closed partly for length, but also for only about 5% of the bloopers being decent enough to read.

Give these things some effort! And no more pants! I delete those on sight!
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Old 07-17-2003, 08:06 AM   #13
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Sting

EOMER: To the King!

*the riders of Rohan come over the hill*

RIDER: Oops!! *his horse trips*
*his horse crashes into another rider...who crashes into another rider...who crashes into another rider...*

*all the riders tumble off the hill and crash headfirst into the Uruk Hai*
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Old 07-17-2003, 11:27 AM   #14
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Sting

Good one Meneltarmacil! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

********
Rivendel: Gandalf and Elrond are talking about Saurman.

Gandalf: Then he threw me on the roof!

Elrond: The horror!

Gandalf: Yes, but at least the eagle came and got me otherwise I would have been up there past Christmas.

Elrond: Didn't you hear? Santa wouldn't give my people a raise. So we locked him in the closet and went on strike so Christmas is canceled.

:Elrond glances towards the closet as its door rattles:

Ok at least I tried. [img]smilies/tongue.gif[/img]

[ July 17, 2003: Message edited by: Silmiel of Imladris ]
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Legolas 20 ales later: I feel something, a slight tingling in my fingers. I think it's affecting me.

Figwit on his name: Are you suggesting that I have the wit of a fig?
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Old 07-17-2003, 11:44 AM   #15
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Eye

Here's another one.

(Boromir's funeral boat)
BOROMIR: (wakes up) Man, I must have been unconscious for a while... Wait, where am I?
*sees waterfall*
BOROMIR: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH
*splash*
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Old 07-17-2003, 09:13 PM   #16
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Sting

Ha ha! Another winner! When is Meela going to start giving out awards again?

Anyway... ready for another lameo? [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]

Aragorn and Arwen are on the bridge kissing.

:Arwen pulls back and wipes her lips:

Arwen: Lipstick? Lipstick??!!! I don't wear lipstick!!!

Aragorn: Well I don't wear lipstick either.

:Arwen slaps Aragorn causing him to fall of the bridge:

PJ: Cut!!! Cut!!! Cut!!! Ok who is responsible for this lipstick?!!

:Elrond and a make up artist snicker:
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Figwit on his name: Are you suggesting that I have the wit of a fig?
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Old 07-17-2003, 09:28 PM   #17
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Silmaril

I saw some blooper from a movie where the actor couldn't stop laughing because his line was so mean.

In Orthanc-

*"Saruman" is repeatedly attemping to beat the tar out of "Gandalf"*

Ian M: Gees, Christopher! I'll pay you if you'll just GET THE SCENE RIGHT!!
P.J: Here, here...
Christopher: *drops the staffs* I-I can't do this! *tears well up* I'm not a violent person! It's just not my nature.
Ian M: *coaxingly* C'mon, Chris. It's your character. It'll be alright. Just pretend I'm Obi Wan Kenobi, 'cause I know how much you hate Kenobi!
Christopher: Well...
Ian M: *snaps fingers & smiles* I'll buy you a smoothie.
Chistopher: *aspect changes at once* A smoothie you say? *turns sly* What kind of smoothie?
Ian M: Banana, 'cause I know how much you love bananas.
Christopher: Done deal! Okay, Pete, roll it! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

[ July 17, 2003: Message edited by: Lily Bombadil ]
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Old 07-17-2003, 09:45 PM   #18
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Sting

I'm limiting Blooper Awards to either at the end of one of my own posts or at the end of a page or two in case the thread gets closed again. I didn't know if they were seen as appropriate or not, but I'm not taking any chances.

Quote:
Ian M: *snaps fingers & smiles* I'll buy you a smoothie.
Chistopher: *aspect changes at once* A smoothie you say? *turns sly* What kind of smoothie?
That gets an award right now [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]
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Old 07-17-2003, 11:59 PM   #19
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Pipe

these are ALL VERY-VERY-VERY-FUNNY!!!!!!! lol! anywho.... since I'm posting, lets see what I can come up with....

********************************************
******************************************

*while gandalf in on top of isengard*

Saroman: well, I asked you nicely... sorry 'bout my naaaasty temper... honestly, PJ could have hired me for a less dramatic movie... You want some tea? or maybe I could come up with somthing a little stronger! I've got soem ale from ____(date goes here)___ what say we open one?

*time passes*

Saroman: I could make you some eggs if you like.

Gandalf:*coming up from behind* just tea, thank-you.

********************************************
what you have to remember through that is that Saroman is a bag guy
*************************************

Frodo: but the ring cannot stay here!

Gandalf: no,*comes in closer* no, it can't.

Frodo: *clenches his fist around the ring* what must I do?

Gandalf: you must leave, and leave quickly.

Frodo: are you sure? why couldn't I just throw it away?

Gandalf: I don't beleive those were your lines, Elijah, *turnes to PJ* were they?

PJ:no! and niether were those! I could fire you, you know!

Ian M.: really? that would be nice... does the fire come with marshmellows??

************************************************** ************************

more babling from me, yours truely, Edeline Telcontar [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

[ July 18, 2003: Message edited by: Edie ]
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Old 07-18-2003, 05:00 PM   #20
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Silmaril

Marshmallows! Genius! Thank you for the Award, Meela! *begins to sing "We Are the Champions"*
On Weathertop, just as the Witch King is about to stab Frodo-

Frodo: Al-alright, it looks to me like we have some Ring issues here. What say we discuss this rationally over a cup of tea?
W.K: Mmm... Alright! *shrugs*
2 HOURS LATER....
Frodo: So-so then he said... y'all are out to get us!
Frodo & W.K: *point at Aragorn & laugh*
Aragorn: *rolls his eyes*
W.K: Out to get you?! *laughs heartily* I say, that's absolutely PREPOSTEROUS, old chap! Hmmm... You know, Frodo, old chap? I think there was something Saruman told me to do today... Ah well! It couldn't have been all that important; I've forgotten it already!
Frodo & W.K: *laugh merrily & carry on conversation*

(Guess what everyone? Last night I saw Elijah Wood in a movie when he was maybe 6 or 7 years old. Awwww... He was swimming in his underwear.)
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Old 07-19-2003, 01:10 AM   #21
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Silmaril

I've got a theory on how the Ring was really destroyed...

Nazgul: Bagginsss!!!

Frodo: Nooo!!!

Sauron: Baggins!

Frodo: Hey, Sauron! I'm playing hide and seek with the Nazgul. Maybe you could help me hide.

Sauron: Sure...here, inside Mount Doom.
*Frodo jumps into Mount Doom*

Sauron: Not with the Ring, you fool!!!


[img]smilies/evil.gif[/img] [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img] [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img]
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Old 07-19-2003, 02:12 AM   #22
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Silmaril

In the scene when the fellowship leave Rivendell in the extended version.

Elrond: The ringbearer is setting out on a quest... (trails off, Aragorn is staring at Arwen.) **cough cough Aragorn, is there something you wish to share with the class?** (Agragorn regains his attention in Elrond's speech.


Elrond ctd.: No oath is laid to go further than you will... (Aragorn and Arwen at now back staring at each other.)

Elrond: Thats it!
Aragorn: What?
Elrond: Ive told you once, you listen to me, im the centre of attention when at Rivendell! buggeroff! just go, obviously the ranger thinks you dont need my long boring speech, off you go then, the lot of you!


-----


The next scene when they are walking form the bridge away from Imladris, you see Gimli stick out his leg and trip Legolas who falls into the waterfall.
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Old 07-22-2003, 01:54 PM   #23
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Arwen has just ridden off with Frodo.

*Glorfindel comes running up with a huge bruise on his head*

GLORFINDEL: Help! Somebody just hit me over the head and stole my horse!

[ July 22, 2003: Message edited by: Meneltarmacil ]
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Old 07-22-2003, 02:00 PM   #24
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Sting

*In Helm's Deep, Legolas is busy firing arrows, Gimli is fighting next to him. Suddenly Legolas can't get an arrow out of his quiver.*

Legolas: Gimli?
Gimli: Yes?
Legolas: What exactly did you do with that bubblegum I gave you last night?
Gimli: Hehehehe.
Legolas: You didn't!?
Gimli: I did!
Legolas: I told you not to give it to Aragorn, no wonder he was dancing around in his pink fairy costume singing 'I'm a Little Teapot'!
Gimli: *Buries head in hands* (mutters)Why did I get stuck with the thick elf.
(to Legolas) I STUCK YOUR ARROW IN YOUR QUIVER!!!!
Legolas: *holding arrow in front of him with bubblegum stuck to the end, bewildered look on his face) Gimli? Are you sure you gave that bubblegum to Aragorn?
Gimli: I give up! *Walks out of picture in a huff*

I'm tired...
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Old 07-22-2003, 03:04 PM   #25
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Sting

Lothlorien: Haldir is leadig the Fellowship up the long flight to steps to see Celeborn and Galadirel.

Merry: How many more steps?!! :huff puff: I.. :huff puff:...can't take..:huff puff:..this...:huff puff:...anymore!

Boromir: I..have.. :huff puff:..got to start..:huff puff:...using that stairmaster...:huff puff: more.

Haldir: Oh stop your whinning were at the top!

:Merry, Pippin and Boromir hit the top few steps in relief but start rolling back down taking the Fellowship with them as they go. They all land in the heap at the bottom of the stairs:

:Haldir appears at the base of the stairs a few seconds later:

Haldir: Congratulations. Out of 2382 steps you only had 3 to go but now your back to square one.

Aragorn, Glimi, and Legolas: You stupid fat hobbits and fat man in a little coat!!!

[ July 22, 2003: Message edited by: Silmiel of Imladris ]

[ July 22, 2003: Message edited by: Silmiel of Imladris ]
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Legolas 20 ales later: I feel something, a slight tingling in my fingers. I think it's affecting me.

Figwit on his name: Are you suggesting that I have the wit of a fig?
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Old 07-24-2003, 02:25 PM   #26
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Silmaril

At Bag-end-
Frodo: What must I do?
Gandalf: You must head west for Kan-tuc-key.
Frodo: Tell me, sir, how is it that I must head west?
Gandalf: Well, you kind of face to the north and turn real sudden like to the left.
*Hawkeye and Duncan walk onto the set*
Hawkeye: You know, Duncan? Those sound alot like our lines.
Duncan: Yeah...
*Hawkeye takes the script*
Hawkeye & Duncan: Hey! These are our lines!
*The script cover reads The Last of the Mohicans*
(Back in North Carolina...)
Cora: A si i-duath u-orthor, Aagorn- Wait. That's not my line!

(Only works if you've seen The Last of the Mohicans and, yes, I do realize that it was filmed in the early '90's.)

[ July 24, 2003: Message edited by: Lily Bombadil ]
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Old 07-25-2003, 05:10 AM   #27
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Silmaril

The charge led by Aragorn with the soldiers at helms deep..

Aragorn is running hard-out and then trips over a rock slamming into the ground, mud all over his clothes (uh, well that wouldnt be a change would it???)

Ah, its a really funny mental image, if you can get it into your head.


I still think the best blooper by far is one done by Meela (???) when they are at Lothlorien and Celeborn gets knocked over revealing him to be a cardboard cut out. I still remember it form the old thread.
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Old 07-25-2003, 09:19 AM   #28
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I didn't write it, but it was super [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

Checked: all praise goes to Aragorn52
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'The Hobbit' 1st impressions: 1. Thorin is hot... Oh god, I fancy a dwarf. 2. Thranduil is hotter. 3. Is that... Figwit! 4. Does Elijah Wood never age?
2nd: It's all about Fili & Kili, really. 3rd: BARD! OMG, Bard.
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Old 07-26-2003, 05:28 AM   #29
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Quote:
Eeny meeny Denethor, catch a match and light the floor. If he squeals let him burn, then you'll know it's not his turn.
Meela youre sig is a blooper on its own... [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/tongue.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]
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Old 07-27-2003, 10:19 PM   #30
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Okay, here I go again with the What if the LotR cast accidentally got the "Last of the Mohicans" script bloopers......

*Gimli is just about to jump off the bridge of Khazad-dum when P.J. stops him*
P.J: Cut! Cut! Cut! What is going on here?!
Viggo: Well, you see, our Gimli here is under the impression that he has to jump.
P.J: Why? And where's Legolas?
Viggo: *points down* At the bottom.
P.J: What is he doing there?!
Viggo: Well, you see, it all started when this orc comes out of nowhere, speaking Huron, and lays into Legolas with a tomahawk. He then throws him off the bridge. See, it says so here in the script.
*Sean Bean hands P.J. the script*
P.J: *looks it over* Alright... Sooo where's Frodo?
Viggo: Oh, he was burned at the stake about ten pages back.
*P.J. flips back ten pages*
P.J: Who the h*ll is Duncan?
*The Fellowship exchange confused glances and back in North Carolina Chingachgook stands on the cliff yelling, "You shall not pass!!!"* [img]smilies/eek.gif[/img]
(I know, really weird, but it was so funny at the time & I put a lot of thought into this!)
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Old 07-27-2003, 11:59 PM   #31
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I must have another go. My cousin asked me to post this...

*In Moria, the Fellowship is sitting on the ground. Gandalf is smoking his pipe, Legolas is painting his nails, Gimli is sharpening his axe, Aragorn, Merry, & Pippin are playing poker, Frodo & Sam are swapping girlie secrets, and Boromir is picking his nose then looking at it(sorry that's gross). Suddenly, legions of orcs come out and surround the Fellowship.*

P.J: Cut! Why aren't you guys doing anything?
Orlando: 'Cause we read in the script that we survive.
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Old 07-28-2003, 12:54 AM   #32
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Quote:
Viggo: Oh, he was burned at the stake about ten pages back.
*P.J. flips back ten pages*
P.J: Who the h*ll is Duncan?
CLASSIC [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]


Aragorn, Gimli, Legolas and Gandalf the White are sitting on their horses talking about Edoras which lays before them.

Gandalf: Edoras, pretty much a hole... nothing around here for miles, not to mention any one. NO, its the most boring place in the world.

Suddenly riding past is a leather clad woman with raven hair being persued by a bad of ruffians.

Legolas: Who was that?

Aragorn: I think it was Xena.
Legolas: Really!
Gandalf: now now, we have to get to Edoras and tell them... something... actually why the hell are we in Edoras?
Gimli: Uh...
Aragorn: screw the ring, screw Merry and Pippin, screw Frodo and Sam, i want Xena's autograph!...
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Old 07-28-2003, 12:10 PM   #33
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Quote:
screw the ring, screw Merry and Pippin, screw Frodo and Sam, i want Xena's autograph!...
That was the creme de la creme right there, Everdawn. I've got some more...

*Frodo, Sam, Merry, & Pippin are approaching Bree when they find that Bree is under attack. They sneak inside.*

Frodo: Barley! What's going on?!
Barley: I dunno, chappie. These French guys just started attacking us!
Frodo: Well then let's get P.J. to stop them!
Barley: *fires off a musket* No way, man! I'm havin' fun! Wooo! Whooo!!! The colors! The colors!
P.J: Stop! Stop!! STOP!!! My set! Oh, my beautiful set! D*mn French militia!
(Meanwhile, from the French point of view...)
Marquis: *with French accent* Magua, why do you attack this fort?
Magua: Magua does not know why his father's army attacks this fort. Magua's father say, 'It is in the script.'

I know; lame, huh? I'm trying really hard. Honest.

[ July 28, 2003: Message edited by: Lily Bombadil ]
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Old 08-01-2003, 01:31 PM   #34
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Pipe

Here's one...

In Moria
Legolas: *gets out magnifying glass* After much deduction and deliberation I have come to the conclusion that this dwarf is...dead!
Aragorn: Legolas, have you been reading 'Sherlock Holmes' again?
Legolas: Elementary, my dear Aragorn!

And another...

In Fangorn
Aragorn: Wow Gandalf! You glow in the dark!
Gandalf: It's one of the perks of the job.

And yet another...

The Fellowship stop for rest.
Aragorn, Frodo, Merry, Pippin, Sam, Gandalf, Gimli: *get out pipes*
Legolas: *Tacks a large 'No Smoking' sign onto a tree and sits back looking smug.* It kills, you know!
Gimli: Stupid elf. He's immortal!

How about s'more?

Down the Anduin
Legolas: *Speeds past everyone in a high-power motor boat* Galadriel must love me! Look at my boat! Mwa a hahaha!
Gimli: Bah! All I got was a pedal-o!

Well, *they* were lame. But quite good fun all the same.
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Old 08-01-2003, 06:42 PM   #35
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Quote:
In Moria
Legolas: *gets out magnifying glass* After much deduction and deliberation I have come to the conclusion that this dwarf is...dead!
Aragorn: Legolas, have you been reading 'Sherlock Holmes' again?
Legolas: Elementary, my dear Aragorn!
Now that definitely deserves a Blooper Award! And perhaps several cookies.
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'The Hobbit' 1st impressions: 1. Thorin is hot... Oh god, I fancy a dwarf. 2. Thranduil is hotter. 3. Is that... Figwit! 4. Does Elijah Wood never age?
2nd: It's all about Fili & Kili, really. 3rd: BARD! OMG, Bard.

Last edited by Meela; 11-27-2004 at 07:06 AM.
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Old 08-02-2003, 09:13 AM   #36
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Lol, thanks Meela!

I used to have a whole bunch of bloopers that I reeled off but I deleted thm by accident (how stupid am I? Very.)
But here is another that I just thought of. When I first read it in the book I actually thought that they were going to do it and was quite dissapointed when they didn't.

On the way into Lothlorien.
Aragorn: Okay, okay, blindfold us all then.(sorry, I can't for the life of me remember what he actually says)
Haldir: *blindfolds Legolas, then the rest of the Fellowship*
Gimli: *consents for himself to be blindfolded*
Haldir: *blindfolds Gimli*
Rest of Fellowship: *Takes off their blindfolds and walk along sniggering*

har har...

I love bloopers.
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Old 08-07-2003, 02:09 PM   #37
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In the extended FotR...
*Frodo and Sam are watching the elves from behind a fallen tree*

Frodo: Sam, get your hand off my butt.
Sam: Sorry, Mr Frodo. It was an accident.
Frodo: *testily* It's still there...
Sam: It's still an accident!
Frodo: Sam, it's still there!!
Sam: He, he, yeah.... [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img]
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Old 08-07-2003, 11:12 PM   #38
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Heres 1 just 1.

*Lurtz prepares to hit Boromir with an arrow*
Out of nowhere a huge earthquake strikes and sends boromir plunging down the hill and into the water.
Boromir: *Cough* *Cough* Note to self never EVER give hobbits dynamite.
Merry:*completely chared*Lets do another.
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Old 08-08-2003, 07:46 AM   #39
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Gimli: What are we waiting for?

Swings axe at the ring, misses and hits his foot.
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Old 08-08-2003, 09:27 AM   #40
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I'm not sure if this is in the movie, but it's in the book (TTT):
Uruk: Lie quiet, or I'll tickle you with this! *displays a big knife*
Pippin: Meeeep! *scared*
Uruk: Alright! You know what THIS means!
*Uruk starts tickling Pippin with the knife*
Pippin: Da, ha, ha! Da, ha, ha! Oooh!! That TICKLLLLES!!!
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