Crazy Captions - Page 159 - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

The Only Real Estel · 07-30-2005, 07:56 PM

Gandalf: "Now Gollum (*condescending head pat*), I think you're confused. This picture that you have in your head of wargs being half-lemmings, half warthogs just isn't true."

Naz · 07-30-2005, 09:22 PM

Mysterious Arm: I'm touching you... does this bother you...? I'm not touching you....

Gollum: *STARES*

Gurthang · 07-30-2005, 11:26 PM

Gollum, Ian, and the Mysterious Man (all werewolves) plan the night's killing.

Holbytlass · 07-31-2005, 05:58 AM

Gollum: iisssn't thiss sexual harrassssment?!

Nilpaurion Felagund · 07-31-2005, 08:02 AM

Actually, Gollum is just having his head rubbed.

Man: Hey, you! Off the display!

Hookbill the Goomba · 07-31-2005, 08:16 AM

Ian: I'm sorry Gollum, but its time for you to get neutered.

Gollum: NO! New picture quick!

Pippin finds a Marks and Spencer's label on those Lothlorian cloaks
Pippin: Those lazy creeps! They told us they made them themselves!

OR

Pippin: *reading out* "do not use washing machine, may cause Sauron to resurrect" Oh dear...

mormegil · 07-31-2005, 08:30 AM

Pippin finds a mirror

"Man I'm ugly!"

Kath · 07-31-2005, 09:06 AM

Cloak label: May swallow the bearer by accident.

Hookbill the Goomba · 07-31-2005, 09:17 AM

This cloak belongs to... Gandalf the Grey!

Kitanna · 07-31-2005, 09:57 AM

Pippin: "Made in China"...those Elves lied to us!

Estelyn Telcontar · 07-31-2005, 10:37 AM

"This cloak handcrafted by Polly-Esther"

Gelmir · 07-31-2005, 11:00 AM

Pippin: Aww, I hate bleech, it's gone all pink. I know, I'll lick it off!

Hookbill the Goomba · 07-31-2005, 12:12 PM

This cloak will self destruct in one second.

OR

Pippin finally finds out why the Orcs have been shooting at him, there was a target painted on the backs of those cloaks.

the guy who be short · 07-31-2005, 12:44 PM

Pippin: I cannot read the fiery letters...

Gandalf [Offscreen]: No, but I can. The letters are Elvish, of an Ancient Mode, but the language is that of Mordor, which I shall not utter here. But this, in the Common Tongue, is what is said, close enough:

One Cloak to Rule them all, One Cloak to find them
One Cloak to Wrap them all, and in the warmth bind them

It is only two lines of a verse long known in Elven-lore:

Silky Cloaks for the Elf-Lords under the sky,
Rough Cloaks for the Dwarf Lords in their halls of stone,
Mass-produced Itchy Cloaks for mortal Men, doomed to die,
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne
In the Land of Mordor, where the Mosquitoes fly,
One Cloak to Rule them all, One Cloak to find them
One Cloak to Wrap them all, and in the warmth bind them
In the Land of Mordor, where the Mosquitoes fly.

This is the Master Cloak, the One Cloak to rule them all. This is the One Cloak that he sewed many ages ago, to protect him from mosquito bites. He greatly desires it - but he must not get it!

Eomer of the Rohirrim · 07-31-2005, 12:53 PM

4 O'Clock already? Guys! Can we wrap this battle up? I have a dentist appointment.

The Only Real Estel · 07-31-2005, 01:29 PM

Pippin: "Dude. I broke a nail! Now that just stinks."

Gelmir · 07-31-2005, 01:40 PM

Pippin: Argh! Dvdtown.com is everwhere, on my armour, on my wig, now my cloak! Aww, man. Dvdtown.com is ruling the world!

Hookbill the Goomba · 07-31-2005, 02:00 PM

Please return this cloak to Sauron, Barad-dur, Mordor. Please bring a ring of power with you to gain entry.

OR

Pippin: *reading* This cloak belongs to Tom Bombadill. If you can answer this simple question He will grant you three wishes. Who is Tom? ... Oh stickle bats!

The Only Real Estel · 07-31-2005, 02:55 PM

Pippin: "Replica of Elven cloak. Made in Gondor. What a gyp, wait until Sam & Gimli hear that Galadriel didn't make their cloaks!"

wilwarin538 · 07-31-2005, 03:40 PM

Pip: Greenish/Grey! What is Merry talking about? And they say Im colour blind. This cloak is definetly purple.

Boromir88 · 07-31-2005, 04:00 PM

In really small print Pippin reads...

Warning:
Do not put in reach of children. They may choke on the small brooch.
Do not wrap around your head, you may sufficate.
Do not eat, contains poisonous dyes. If you did happen to eat it see a doctor immediately.
Do not attempt to fly. This is a cloak, not made for flying.
Do not let this cloak come in contact with your eyes.
Do not excessively smell this item, you may become intoxicated. If you think you have become intoxicated please see a doctor immediately.
Wearing this cloak excessively could result in headaches, nausea, heartburn, indigestion, monkey hair, warts and/or boils, and death. If you get any of these symptoms see your doctor immediately.

Firefoot · 07-31-2005, 04:06 PM

Pippin thought it would be funny to switch cloaks with Frodo... until he realizes (much too late) that Frodo had sewn the Ring into the hem of his cloak for safe keeping.

Lalwendë · 07-31-2005, 04:13 PM

Pippin makes an appearance on What Not To Wear and weeps as he is told he must give up his wardrobe of old cloaks and go out to buy a capsule collection of puce pullovers.

**The Saucepan Man** · 07-31-2005, 05:17 PM

Pippin is oblivious to the battle raging about him as he surveys the results of his latest attempt to pull the tablecloth off the table while leaving everything standing.

Gurthang · 07-31-2005, 05:45 PM

Pippin: *SNEEZE* "Ewwww!"

OR

Pippin: "I can barely read this, and my eyes hurt. I think it says: 'Warning! Do not read this! May cause harmful stress to your eyes!'"

OR

Pippin: "It says take a left at the Black Gate?! That can't be right. Ohh! I hate MapQuest!"

The Only Real Estel · 07-31-2005, 06:08 PM

Pippin: "Woh, there's a finger in this cloak! I should sue!"

Gil-Galad · 07-31-2005, 07:46 PM

Mail: 58$
Riding-Pony: 67$ a day
nice riding gloves: 23$
finding that Frodo ditched you so that you can fight in the war alone: Priceless

For everything else, there's The One Ring

Naz · 07-31-2005, 08:42 PM

Pippin at one of those Early Bird Sales. Apparently he wasn't early enough. His face falls in dissappointment as he picks through what's left.

Gurthang · 07-31-2005, 10:55 PM

Pippin realized that there was a hole in his extra large bag of pipeweed.

mormegil · 07-31-2005, 11:35 PM

Heedless of the war raging all around when the stain was discovered Pippin immediately had to attempt to remove it.

Pippin: "Boy this is a stubborn one"

Holbytlass · 08-01-2005, 06:29 AM

Oooh, I found Harry Potter's invisibility cloak!!

Mithalwen · 08-01-2005, 06:32 AM

Pippin clutches his security blanket as he wonders how he, a hobbit amongst men, got to be the tallest thing on the battle field..

The Only Real Estel · 08-01-2005, 07:30 AM

Pippin: "A stain on my new cloak!? Inconceivable!!!"

Gelmir · 08-01-2005, 07:40 AM

Merry(out of screen): Look pippin mushrooms!
Pippin: I've got one here.

Frodo:I've got to get this ring out of my arm!

CaptainofDespair · 08-01-2005, 07:42 AM

Pippin, always the most sensitive hobbit, is attending the mid-battle trampling of a now dead Orc.

Pippin: *tearing up* Why? Why did he die so young?! *sobs*

mormegil · 08-01-2005, 07:57 AM

Can't see this one at all

Hookbill the Goomba · 08-01-2005, 08:02 AM

Just when Frodo thought he had got to the bottom of that staircase, he found there was another set going down for another five miles.
Frodo: I give up!

OR

Frodo watches with interest as two ants fight each other to the death.

[EDIT]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v6.../TTTFrodo4.jpg

That any better, mormegil?

Oddwen · 08-01-2005, 08:34 AM

Even after Scouring the Shire, Bag End just wasn't the same for Frodo.

Or...

Frodo sits thinking about puppies and rainbows, but meanwhile he is about to be eaten by a giant cave.

Or...

Frodo pauses to contemplate outside the door to Moria, wherein he had *finally* lost that darned Fellowship.

The Elf-warrior · 08-01-2005, 08:41 AM

Frodo: "How do we know that Merry and Pippin are alive?"

Sam: "What does your heart tell you?"

Frodo: "That they are dead."

Sam: "Look, Mr. Frodo, you can't think like that. The heart is supposed to be a source of hope."

Frodo: "What about Daddy Three Foot Six's angina?"

**The Saucepan Man** · 08-01-2005, 09:06 AM

Gordon the Stone Troll was very proud of his new Frodo the Ringbearer ear stud.

07-30-2005, 11:26 PM	#6323
Gurthang Sword of Spirit Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Oh, I'm around. Posts: 1,507	Gollum, Ian, and the Mysterious Man (all werewolves) plan the night's killing. __________________ I'm on a Mission from God.

07-31-2005, 05:58 AM	#6324
Holbytlass Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: May 2003 Location: The Party Tree Posts: 1,096	Gollum: iisssn't thiss sexual harrassssment?! __________________ Holby is an actual flesh-and-blood person, right? Not, say a sock-puppet of Nilp’s, by any chance? ~Nerwen, WWCIII

07-31-2005, 08:02 AM	#6325
Nilpaurion Felagund Scion of The Faithful Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: The brink, where hope and despair are akin. [The Philippines] Posts: 5,430	Talk about lifelike! Actually, Gollum is just having his head rubbed. Man: Hey, you! Off the display! __________________ フェンリス鴨 (Fenrisu Kamo) The plot, cut, defeated. I intend to copy this sig forever - so far so good...

07-31-2005, 08:16 AM	#6326
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 6,153	Ian: I'm sorry Gollum, but its time for you to get neutered. Gollum: NO! New picture quick! Pippin finds a Marks and Spencer's label on those Lothlorian cloaks Pippin: Those lazy creeps! They told us they made them themselves! OR Pippin: reading out "do not use washing machine, may cause Sauron to resurrect" Oh dear... __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

07-31-2005, 08:30 AM	#6327
mormegil Maundering Mage Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Texas Posts: 4,679	Pippin finds a mirror "Man I'm ugly!" __________________ When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators. -- P. J. O'Rourke

07-30-2005, 07:56 PM	#6321
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 3,025	Gandalf: "Now Gollum (condescending head pat), I think you're confused. This picture that you have in your head of wargs being half-lemmings, half warthogs just isn't true."

07-30-2005, 09:22 PM	#6322
Naz Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: May 2003 Location: my TARDIS! Posts: 288	Mysterious Arm: I'm touching you... does this bother you...? I'm not touching you.... Gollum: STARES

07-31-2005, 09:06 AM	#6328
Kath Everlasting Whiteness Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Perusing the laminated book of dreams Posts: 4,725	Cloak label: May swallow the bearer by accident. __________________ “If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.”

07-31-2005, 09:17 AM	#6329
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 6,153	This cloak belongs to... Gandalf the Grey! __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

07-31-2005, 09:57 AM	#6330
Kitanna Child of the West Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Watching President Fillmore ride a unicorn Posts: 2,390	Pippin: "Made in China"...those Elves lied to us! __________________ "Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry." - Mark Twain

07-31-2005, 10:37 AM	#6331
Estelyn Telcontar Princess of Skwerlz Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: where the Sea is eastwards (WtR: 6060 miles) Posts: 7,645	"This cloak handcrafted by Polly-Esther" __________________ 'Mercy!' cried Gandalf. 'If the giving of information is to be the cure of your inquisitiveness, I shall spend all the rest of my days in answering you. What more do you want to know?' 'The whole history of Middle-earth...'

07-31-2005, 11:00 AM	#6332
Gelmir Haunting Spirit Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Lothlorein Posts: 62	pippin and his cloak Pippin: Aww, I hate bleech, it's gone all pink. I know, I'll lick it off! __________________ No more knee caps for you! No more Life for you! And you! No more toe nails for you! mwahahaha!

07-31-2005, 12:12 PM	#6333
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 6,153	This cloak will self destruct in one second. OR Pippin finally finds out why the Orcs have been shooting at him, there was a target painted on the backs of those cloaks. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

07-31-2005, 12:44 PM	#6334
the guy who be short Shadowed Prince Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Thulcandra Posts: 2,496	Pippin: I cannot read the fiery letters... Gandalf [Offscreen]: No, but I can. The letters are Elvish, of an Ancient Mode, but the language is that of Mordor, which I shall not utter here. But this, in the Common Tongue, is what is said, close enough: One Cloak to Rule them all, One Cloak to find them One Cloak to Wrap them all, and in the warmth bind them It is only two lines of a verse long known in Elven-lore: Silky Cloaks for the Elf-Lords under the sky, Rough Cloaks for the Dwarf Lords in their halls of stone, Mass-produced Itchy Cloaks for mortal Men, doomed to die, One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne In the Land of Mordor, where the Mosquitoes fly, One Cloak to Rule them all, One Cloak to find them One Cloak to Wrap them all, and in the warmth bind them In the Land of Mordor, where the Mosquitoes fly. This is the Master Cloak, the One Cloak to rule them all. This is the One Cloak that he sewed many ages ago, to protect him from mosquito bites. He greatly desires it - but he must not get it!

07-31-2005, 12:53 PM	#6335
Eomer of the Rohirrim Auspicious Wraith Join Date: May 2002 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 4,992	4 O'Clock already? Guys! Can we wrap this battle up? I have a dentist appointment. __________________ Los Ingobernables de Harlond

07-31-2005, 01:29 PM	#6336
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 3,025	Pippin: "Dude. I broke a nail! Now that just stinks."

07-31-2005, 01:40 PM	#6337
Gelmir Haunting Spirit Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Lothlorein Posts: 62	DVDTown.com Pippin: Argh! Dvdtown.com is everwhere, on my armour, on my wig, now my cloak! Aww, man. Dvdtown.com is ruling the world! __________________ No more knee caps for you! No more Life for you! And you! No more toe nails for you! mwahahaha!

07-31-2005, 02:00 PM	#6338
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 6,153	Please return this cloak to Sauron, Barad-dur, Mordor. Please bring a ring of power with you to gain entry. OR Pippin: reading This cloak belongs to Tom Bombadill. If you can answer this simple question He will grant you three wishes. Who is Tom? ... Oh stickle bats! __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

07-31-2005, 02:55 PM	#6339
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 3,025	Pippin: "Replica of Elven cloak. Made in Gondor. What a gyp, wait until Sam & Gimli hear that Galadriel didn't make their cloaks!"

07-31-2005, 03:40 PM	#6340
wilwarin538 Fluttering Enchantment Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Canada Posts: 2,661	Pip: Greenish/Grey! What is Merry talking about? And they say Im colour blind. This cloak is definetly purple. __________________ Comme une étoile amarante Comme un papillon de nuit C'est la lumière qui m'attire La flamme qui m'éblouit Fenris Muffin

07-31-2005, 04:00 PM	#6341
Boromir88 Laconic Loreman Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: USA Posts: 7,559	In really small print Pippin reads... Warning: Do not put in reach of children. They may choke on the small brooch. Do not wrap around your head, you may sufficate. Do not eat, contains poisonous dyes. If you did happen to eat it see a doctor immediately. Do not attempt to fly. This is a cloak, not made for flying. Do not let this cloak come in contact with your eyes. Do not excessively smell this item, you may become intoxicated. If you think you have become intoxicated please see a doctor immediately. Wearing this cloak excessively could result in headaches, nausea, heartburn, indigestion, monkey hair, warts and/or boils, and death. If you get any of these symptoms see your doctor immediately. __________________ Fenris Penguin

07-31-2005, 04:06 PM	#6342
Firefoot Illusionary Holbytla Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 7,646	Pippin thought it would be funny to switch cloaks with Frodo... until he realizes (much too late) that Frodo had sewn the Ring into the hem of his cloak for safe keeping.

07-31-2005, 04:13 PM	#6343
Lalwendë A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed Posts: 4,814	Pippin makes an appearance on What Not To Wear and weeps as he is told he must give up his wardrobe of old cloaks and go out to buy a capsule collection of puce pullovers. __________________ Gordon's alive!

07-31-2005, 05:17 PM	#6344
The Saucepan Man Corpus Cacophonous Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: A green and pleasant land Posts: 8,468	Pippin is oblivious to the battle raging about him as he surveys the results of his latest attempt to pull the tablecloth off the table while leaving everything standing. __________________ Do you mind? I'm busy doing the fishstick. It's a very delicate state of mind!

07-31-2005, 05:45 PM	#6345
Gurthang Sword of Spirit Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Oh, I'm around. Posts: 1,507	Pippin: SNEEZE "Ewwww!" OR Pippin: "I can barely read this, and my eyes hurt. I think it says: 'Warning! Do not read this! May cause harmful stress to your eyes!'" OR Pippin: "It says take a left at the Black Gate?! That can't be right. Ohh! I hate MapQuest!" __________________ I'm on a Mission from God.

07-31-2005, 06:08 PM	#6346
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 3,025	Pippin: "Woh, there's a finger in this cloak! I should sue!"

07-31-2005, 07:46 PM	#6347
Gil-Galad Psyche of Prince Immortal Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Above a Parapet Obvious exits are: North, South, and Dennis Posts: 5,054	Mail: 58$ Riding-Pony: 67$ a day nice riding gloves: 23$ finding that Frodo ditched you so that you can fight in the war alone: Priceless For everything else, there's The One Ring __________________ Love doesn't blow up and get killed.

07-31-2005, 08:42 PM	#6348
Naz Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: May 2003 Location: my TARDIS! Posts: 288	Pippin at one of those Early Bird Sales. Apparently he wasn't early enough. His face falls in dissappointment as he picks through what's left.

07-31-2005, 10:55 PM	#6349
Gurthang Sword of Spirit Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Oh, I'm around. Posts: 1,507	Pippin realized that there was a hole in his extra large bag of pipeweed. __________________ I'm on a Mission from God.

07-31-2005, 11:35 PM	#6350
mormegil Maundering Mage Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Texas Posts: 4,679	Pippin's OCD Heedless of the war raging all around when the stain was discovered Pippin immediately had to attempt to remove it. Pippin: "Boy this is a stubborn one" __________________ When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators. -- P. J. O'Rourke

08-01-2005, 06:29 AM	#6351
Holbytlass Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: May 2003 Location: The Party Tree Posts: 1,096	Now I can be like Frodo.... Oooh, I found Harry Potter's invisibility cloak!! __________________ Holby is an actual flesh-and-blood person, right? Not, say a sock-puppet of Nilp’s, by any chance? ~Nerwen, WWCIII

08-01-2005, 06:32 AM	#6352
Mithalwen Pilgrim Soul Join Date: May 2004 Location: watching the wonga-wonga birds circle... Posts: 9,916	Pippin clutches his security blanket as he wonders how he, a hobbit amongst men, got to be the tallest thing on the battle field.. __________________ “But Finrod walks with Finarfin his father beneath the trees in Eldamar.” Christopher Tolkien, Requiescat in pace

08-01-2005, 07:30 AM	#6353
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 3,025	Pippin: "A stain on my new cloak!? Inconceivable!!!"

08-01-2005, 07:40 AM	#6354
Gelmir Haunting Spirit Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Lothlorein Posts: 62	Newun! Merry(out of screen): Look pippin mushrooms! Pippin: I've got one here. Frodo:I've got to get this ring out of my arm! __________________ No more knee caps for you! No more Life for you! And you! No more toe nails for you! mwahahaha!

08-01-2005, 07:42 AM	#6355
CaptainofDespair Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 452	Pippin, always the most sensitive hobbit, is attending the mid-battle trampling of a now dead Orc. Pippin: tearing up Why? Why did he die so young?! sobs