LotR2-TTT-Seq22

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"Almira Gulch. Just because you own half the town doesn't mean that you have the power to run the rest of us. For twenty-three years I've been dying to tell you what I thought of you! And now... well, being a Christian woman, I can't say it!" - Auntie Em, The Wizard of Oz


The three hobbits (well, Gollum used to be a hobbit) are marched into Osgiliath. Faramir has gotten them onto the western shore somehow, and one wonders two things – if he could cross the Anduin upstream of Os, why did he bring the three into such a ‘hot zone,’ and if he could cross as Os, then how did all of those enemy miss them and why aren’t the bad guys using the same route?

Arrows and rocks are shot back and across the Anduin, the damage light on both sides. While some soldiers get splashed, Faramir learns that their position is bad , and that the garrison of Os will be soon overrun. Great place for a Halfling with Isildur’s Bane to be hanging out. Like, what if the scouting reports were wrong, and the invasion were to come in a matter of minutes? Is it a good idea to have brought the Ring here? I’m starting to think that Denethor may have been unkind, but honest, about his second-born.

Suddenly, Frodo gets the heebie-jeebies again. I’m not much of a lip-reader, and so can’t make out much that Sam mouths to his master. Think that he says, “Brace yourself, Master, soon you’re gonna see a huge plot hole coming on wings.”

Faramir also must be under some spell as he allows others to bear his gift to his father. Didn’t anyone in this family read The Prince (meaning that you let others bring bad news, and you always bring gifts in person)? He also still thinks that this weapon will change Gondor’s fortunes in this war. Guess that this movie Faramir was a pupil of Radagast, as that’s a bit bird-brained. Didn’t anyone notice how much the One Ring changed Sauron’s fortunes of war?

Sam’s has had enough of this Captain, and begins to spout off. That’s the way to get on someone’s good side, Sam – talk bad about their dead kinfolk. And I would disagree with Sam, as the Ring did not kill Boromir, nor even the lust for it. After he renounced the Ring, that was when Boromir was slain. It’s been mentioned on this forum that for sin to be atoned, blood must be spilled. And it’s also been said that Thangorodrim hath no fury like a Ring scorned. Brings back memories of an older TV show about curious goods.

Where are you going, O Boromir my love? One just doesn’t walk away from my golden promises…

Conveniently, before Faramir defends his brother’s actions – note that neither of these two really know how Boromir died – a tower falls and that gets everyone’s eyes up. Frodo gets all creepy, and I think that PJ was going for some kind of Poltergeist reference. “They’re here. They’ve come.” Note the plural.

Faramir sounds the alarm and everyone takes cover. Guess that he’s already seen the Wraths on Wings, as did everyone else, as no one looks for a black horseman. The scene ends with Frodo and Sam shoved into a corner awaiting their fate.

Back at Helm’s Deep, it’s an open house. The Uruks must be having a sale on horseflesh. They wave banners trying to get passersby’s attentions while others take stock of their new digs.

Did men really lose the Deep?

In the Citadel, the onslaught continues, and the Uruks try to get at the King, who is shut up like an old badger in trap. The twelve survivors of the attack (did anyone win back to the caves?) pile furniture against the door, knowing that if the Uruks break through, they will fall all over themselves trying to get the best deal. “We’ve come for your end tables!”

Did I hear that right? Théoden concedes the game and tells the men to let the orcs come. Is he giving up on his people, the men, women and children who thought that he would save them? Open the door and let them butcher us? Is this not like another Lord of men that we soon will see in RotK?

This is no King, and why PJ makes him thus, I can only speculate. Do we need a more heroic Aragorn, and so are blessed with a less heroic Théoden? Anyway, Aragorn chides the other King that men defend the fort, and that men have died defending the fortress. Sure there may have been elves here at one time, but they must have all left, for surely one of the 100 or 1000 would have survived…

We get a scan of the caves, and there are no soldiers – men, children or elves – there either.

Aragorn continues to look for a solution. The women and children can make an escape, like so long ago in Gondolin, if, that is, they are given time to retreat. Surely Saruman, who had spied out all of the land, has this in mind too. But the defenders have to try something…have to maintain some hope. Théoden, even hearing about his charges, continues to despair when thunk! an apple strikes Aragorn right on his head. It doesn’t, actually, but it looks like his idea of riding out comes from out of the blue.

Let’s ride.

Aragorn’s enthusiasm grows like the sunlight – but wasn’t it light out while the Uruks had their little picnic outside? Or was that just Dawn’s rosy fingers? The words of Gandalf come back to Aragorn, and I think that even King Théoden even hears them.

Let’s ride…even if it be… one …last… time!

You can’t but help getting caught up in the emotion. If we go down, we go down swinging…together. Théoden states that this be the hour that he and King Aragorn draw swords together. Not sure what all of that other stuff going on the last few hours was about…

Gimli sounds the horn of Helm Hammerhand, and Théoden states the best lines of the movie, “Fell deeds await. Now for wrath, now for ruin and a red dawn.” The Helmingas ride out – about nine horses total – and inflict heavy casualties on the Uruks. And again, to me it seems that the Uruks are just the neat freaks, as Helm’s Deep looks better than when the battle started. And just where are all of the dead stowed?

A White Rider appears on the horizon. It’s the Wizard’s Pony Express! The Uruks give pause to this newcomer, and we find that Théoden King isn’t the only rider who’s not alone. The Rohirrim ride down into the waiting Uruks, who seem to me well prepared and equipped to meet the horsemen. Saruman’s White Hand band sp and stands ready with their pikes. But Dawn’s real first light (not be confused with all of that other light we’ve been seeing) is just too much for our Uruks and so the riders have the advantage - which is good as they are galloping down a hill of loose material into a wall of large spikes. The newcomers hack and slash their way to the King (who could have been taken out by just one orc with a crossbow, but…) and we’ll have to wait and see if the Uruks counter - or get shades.

The Ents too are on the attack against Saruman’s minions. They use boulders to bowl down the mini-Orcs that stayed behind at Orthanc. There’s also a lot of hasty stomping, mashing and clubbing of these little tree killers. A few orcs get lucky with a chain and pull down one of the Ents, but before their axes have much of a bite another bowling boulder strikes. Merry and Pippin do their part with well thrown pebbles.

Saruman, watching from his tower, is dismayed. Even when his orcs torch an Ent, he’s still none too happy. He’s probably thinking to himself, “there were about ten of these Ents at the Dingle, and they all voted to stay out of the way. Now, there’s about five score or more of them, and there’s not an undecided vote in the bunch. Darn Hobbits!”

“If only I could shoot fireballs…”

An Ent, at the direction of Treebeard (who secretly had the whole attack planned and only played dumb to fool the other Ents), takes out the supports for the dam, and the water begins to pour into the plain of Isengard.

The amount of water that floods the plain is ridiculous, but I’ve pretty much have given up on TTT. The waters sweep the orcs and their works into the pits, and the Ents make sure that every Orc get a chance to go swimming. The Burning Ent dips its body into the deluge, and the flames are extinguished.

We’ll have to wait until we return to Isengard to see if the Ents get their hands on the Tree Killer and make another hasty decision.

[Elladan and Elrohir]

The Forth Eorlingas scene is pretty good, even with stupid Theoden ready to give it all up like Denethor will in ROTK. When he says "For death and glory," I wonder if he's lost touch with reality. He's not off fighting some obscure foe in a distant land; he's fighting the ultimate enemies of mankind in his own backyard, with the fate of his country in the balance. Whatever, dude. Whatever.

Won't even comment on the blind Nazgul scene. It's there, and I've accepted it, but that doesn't mean I like it.

The flooding of Isengard is spectacular, and once again the music gives it that "wow" kind of feeling. I DETEST the fact, however, that every rock thrown by Merry and Pippin, EVERY SINGLE ONE, apparently kills or at least permanently maims some orc. Some unrealistic things I can accept, but not that.