Star Wars meets The Lord of The Rings - Page 2 - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Merry_Pippin_Frodo_Sam · 11-29-2002, 09:25 PM

episode2

at the meeting of the empirial senate:

Jar-Jar: We thinkss, preciousssss, thatss we givesss masster chancsselor emergencsssyyy powwerssss, yessss precioussss!

Senator Palpatine: *high-pitched screem*

jar-Jar: Yessssss, precioussssss!!! we gives him powersss to create great fisssshhh armiesssss, OH YESSSS preciousssssss! *GOLLUM*

sorry i tried again!

Merry_Pippin_Frodo_Sam · 11-29-2002, 09:41 PM

Ringwraith: Baaaggiinsssss?

Ringwraith: can you tell me where baggins is?

*Gandalf waves hand*

Gandalf: You do not want me to tell you where Baggins is.

Ringwraith: I do not want you to tell me where Baggins is.

Gandalf: You want to go home and re-think your life,

Ringwraith: yeah, I wanna go home and re-think my life!

[ November 30, 2002: Message edited by: Merry_Pippin_Frodo_Sam ]

The Squatter of Amon Rûdh · 12-05-2002, 07:51 AM

Gandalf The Black Land of Mordor: Nowhere in Middle-earth will you find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. You must be careful.

-------------------------------------

Bilbo This is Sting. This is the weapon of a Ringbearer. Not as clumsy or random as an Orc-spear. An elegant weapon of a more civilised age.

The Squatter of Amon Rûdh · 02-20-2003, 09:35 PM

There have been a number of rumours on the forum about alleged major plot changes in The Return of the King, and I believe that I may have evidence that such changes have, in fact, been incorporated into the final installment of the trilogy. The following was passed to me by a disgruntled employee of New Line Cinema, who shall remain nameless. It was apparently found in the conference room after a meeting with the film's backers. As you can see, Frodo now faces Sauron in person, to emphasise the inequality of his struggle.

Sauron: Oh, I'm afraid the Ring will be quite operational when your friends arrive.

<He glances at the Ring on his finger>

You want this? Take it. Strike me down with all your hatred and your journey to the Dark Side will be complete.

Frodo: Never. I'll never fight you.

Sauron: Then, young Ringbearer, you will die...

At this point the paper is roughly torn off. The remainder of the text is missing.

The Squatter of Amon Rûdh · 03-02-2003, 06:55 AM

Further to the above, the following has come to my attention from the same source. It is clearly a scene dropped from The Fellowship of the Ring.

At the Prancing Pony, a scurvy-looking fellow shouts something in a foul dialect. His equally ill-favoured companion accosts Frodo

Talkative Goon: He says he doesn't like you.

Frodo (unsure what to say): I'm sorry

He turns back to his drink

Talkative Goon: I don't like you either. You'd better watch yourself: we have the death sentence in nine kingdoms.

Frodo still doesn't know what to say to this

Frodo: I'll be careful.

Talkative Goon: You'll be dead!

Strider approaches softly

Strider: This little one isn't worth the effort. Here, let me buy you a drink.

The talkative goon and his friend shove Frodo out of the way and attack Strider, who kills them effortlessly with the hilt-shard of Narsil

At this point the fragment ends. This intriguing scene gives us such a deep insight into the ways and customs of the Breelanders that I can only assume that it was dropped for copyright reasons.

Sillabub · 03-06-2003, 10:13 PM

I can just imagine Saruman and Gandalf doing a light-saber fight in slow motion with the appropriate music in the backround etc...

Anything but Arwen · 03-08-2003, 12:49 PM

lol, Squatter.....you sound liek Christopher Tolkien in the Unfinished Tales.....now theres a thought...

Anything but Arwen · 03-08-2003, 01:11 PM

Ok, i wrote this ages ago, so lets see if i can remember it......

<b> Fellowship of the Clones </b>
Startling similarities between the two...

Frodo=Luke: Noble bold heroes who arent half as interesting as everyone else

Sam=The Force: Trusty sidekick who does as hes told

Merry and Pippin=R2 and C3PO: Comedy duo who irritate everyone else

Saruman=Jabba the Hutt: Decoy villains who let others do their dirty work

Boromir=Lando Calrissian: Charming ruffians who may, just may, turn on their fellows...

Gandalf=Obi Wan: Bearded wizards who snuff it in the first instalment, yet come back later bearing advice. Also played by Sirs.

Aragorn=Han Solo: Rugged,stubbly, weapon wielding heroes who eventually get the girl.

Arwen=Leia: Pretty girls who do a bit of butt kicking and get hitched to one of the above...

Elrond=Yoda: Past it wiise guys who relate the plot for popcorn munching morons.

Orcs-Stormtroopers: Army of the villain. Lucky they cant shoot for peanuts...

Horse-Maiden of the Shire · 03-08-2003, 11:51 PM

Heeey...
Merry/Pippin/R2D2/C3PO dont ALWAYS annoy everyone! Sometimes they's good.

Kalimac · 03-09-2003, 01:19 AM

GANDALF: We haven't got time to argue about it in committee!

ELROND: I am NOT a committee!

(or something like that)

I'd satirize something from Eps I and II but mercifully I can't really remember much of the dialogue, except for...

ARAGORN: I don't like the rocks in Mordor. They're hard and rough. Not like you, Arwen. You're soft and smooth.

(Hey, who could resist giving up their immortality to hear poetry like that?)

The Squatter of Amon Rûdh · 04-20-2003, 01:37 PM

This is how I would imagine schedules are kept in Mordor:

Khamul: My lord, this is an unexpected pleasure. We are honoured by your presence.

The Witch-King: You may dispense with the pleasantries. I am here to put you back on schedule.

Khamul: I assure you, lord, my men are working as fast as they can.

The Witch-King: Perhaps I can find new ways to motivate them.

Khamul: I assure you, Lord; this fortress will be operational as planned.

The Witch-King: The Dark Lord does not share your optimistic appraisal of the situation.

Khamul: But he asks the impossible. I need more men.

The Witch-King: Then perhaps you can tell him when he arrives

Khamul: The Dark Lord is coming here?

The Witch-King: That is correct. And he is most displeased with your apparent lack of progress.

Khamul: We shall double our efforts.

The Witch-King: I hope so for your sake. The Dark Lord is not as forgiving as I am.

Mornie Alantie · 04-20-2003, 02:20 PM

Somehow the scipts got messed up and.....

Padme: I don't need more protection I need answer, I want to know who's trying to kill me.

Anakin: Its over there on the mantelpiece...no wait its here in my pocket.

Leah: What?!?!

Grand Mof Tarken(or whatever the guy who is in control of the death star): Your far to trusting you may fire it when ready.

Leah: Its mine I found it! It came to Me!!!!

Death Star Guy: Theres no need to get angry.

Leah: Well If im angry its your fault, we are a peacful planet we have no weapons!

Darth Vader: Are you frightened?

Leah: Yes.

Yoda: You will be.......wait......

Jar Jar: Any help here woulda be hot. (or what he says when inprisoned by the gungans)

Qui-gon: Jar Jar Bink! Do not take me for some conjurer of cheap tricks! I am not trying to help you, I'm trying to kill you.

Lily Bombadil · 04-20-2003, 03:11 PM

(Merry_Pippin_Frodo_Sam, those little short ones are Ewoks. The Wookies are the tall furballs)
Know what? When Frodo screamed in Moria he sounded just like Luke when he screamed after Darth told him they were father & son.
The wimpy characters always scream the best. I think their talents were ill-proportioned.

Lily Bombadil · 04-20-2003, 03:28 PM

OH!

Pippin says, "Mesa called Pippin Took!"
___________________________________________

Strider & the 4 hobbits are flying through space in the Millenium Falcon when this big star starts to pull them towards it.
Inside, Darth Vader is like "Welcome to the Evenstar. Coo pur, coo pur..."
_________________________________________

Arwen is Queen Undomiel instead of Amidala
___________________________________________

Faramir comes crying to Eowyn saying, "I slaughtered them like animals." Then he relates the story of his revenge on the Uruk-hai bcause they killed Boromir.
________________________________________

Legolas says of Aragorn, "This is no mere Jedi. He is Obi Wan Dunedain. You owe him your allegiance."
________________________________________

Arwen says, "You're not all-powerful, Aragorn."
"Well I should be."
____________________________________________

Sam says, "Mister Frodo, I need to be serviced."

(OKAY, THESE ARE DUMB! [img]smilies/frown.gif[/img] )

11-29-2002, 09:25 PM	#41
Merry_Pippin_Frodo_Sam Animated Skeleton Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Buckland Posts: 41	episode2 at the meeting of the empirial senate: Jar-Jar: We thinkss, preciousssss, thatss we givesss masster chancsselor emergencsssyyy powwerssss, yessss precioussss! Senator Palpatine: high-pitched screem jar-Jar: Yessssss, precioussssss!!! we gives him powersss to create great fisssshhh armiesssss, OH YESSSS preciousssssss! GOLLUM sorry i tried again! __________________ `Merry';)

11-29-2002, 09:41 PM	#42
Merry_Pippin_Frodo_Sam Animated Skeleton Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Buckland Posts: 41	Ringwraith: Baaaggiinsssss? Ringwraith: can you tell me where baggins is? Gandalf waves hand Gandalf: You do not want me to tell you where Baggins is. Ringwraith: I do not want you to tell me where Baggins is. Gandalf: You want to go home and re-think your life, Ringwraith: yeah, I wanna go home and re-think my life! [ November 30, 2002: Message edited by: Merry_Pippin_Frodo_Sam ] __________________ `Merry';)

12-05-2002, 07:51 AM	#43
The Squatter of Amon Rûdh Spectre of Decay Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Bar-en-Danwedh Posts: 2,177	Gandalf The Black Land of Mordor: Nowhere in Middle-earth will you find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. You must be careful. ------------------------------------- Bilbo This is Sting. This is the weapon of a Ringbearer. Not as clumsy or random as an Orc-spear. An elegant weapon of a more civilised age. __________________ Man kenuva métim' andúne?

02-20-2003, 09:35 PM	#44
The Squatter of Amon Rûdh Spectre of Decay Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Bar-en-Danwedh Posts: 2,177	There have been a number of rumours on the forum about alleged major plot changes in The Return of the King, and I believe that I may have evidence that such changes have, in fact, been incorporated into the final installment of the trilogy. The following was passed to me by a disgruntled employee of New Line Cinema, who shall remain nameless. It was apparently found in the conference room after a meeting with the film's backers. As you can see, Frodo now faces Sauron in person, to emphasise the inequality of his struggle. Sauron: Oh, I'm afraid the Ring will be quite operational when your friends arrive. <He glances at the Ring on his finger> You want this? Take it. Strike me down with all your hatred and your journey to the Dark Side will be complete. Frodo: Never. I'll never fight you. Sauron: Then, young Ringbearer, you will die... At this point the paper is roughly torn off. The remainder of the text is missing. __________________ Man kenuva métim' andúne? Last edited by The Squatter of Amon Rûdh; 06-15-2004 at 05:57 AM.

03-02-2003, 06:55 AM	#45
The Squatter of Amon Rûdh Spectre of Decay Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Bar-en-Danwedh Posts: 2,177	Further to the above, the following has come to my attention from the same source. It is clearly a scene dropped from The Fellowship of the Ring. At the Prancing Pony, a scurvy-looking fellow shouts something in a foul dialect. His equally ill-favoured companion accosts Frodo Talkative Goon: He says he doesn't like you. Frodo (unsure what to say): I'm sorry He turns back to his drink Talkative Goon: I don't like you either. You'd better watch yourself: we have the death sentence in nine kingdoms. Frodo still doesn't know what to say to this Frodo: I'll be careful. Talkative Goon: You'll be dead! Strider approaches softly Strider: This little one isn't worth the effort. Here, let me buy you a drink. The talkative goon and his friend shove Frodo out of the way and attack Strider, who kills them effortlessly with the hilt-shard of Narsil At this point the fragment ends. This intriguing scene gives us such a deep insight into the ways and customs of the Breelanders that I can only assume that it was dropped for copyright reasons. __________________ Man kenuva métim' andúne?

03-06-2003, 10:13 PM	#46
Sillabub Wight Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: GONDOR!! Posts: 138	I can just imagine Saruman and Gandalf doing a light-saber fight in slow motion with the appropriate music in the backround etc... __________________ They were holding umbrellas. Not just any umbrellas- BLACK umbrellas. Not just ANY black umbrellas- these were...(knuckle-biting time) the BLACK UMBRELLAS OF DEATH!!!!! cue sinister music

03-08-2003, 12:49 PM	#47
Anything but Arwen Wight Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: In my own little world. Its OK, they know me here. Posts: 230	lol, Squatter.....you sound liek Christopher Tolkien in the Unfinished Tales.....now theres a thought... __________________ The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits! (Dontchya just love my avatar? I got a "Tickle Me Boromir" one too...

03-08-2003, 01:11 PM	#48
Anything but Arwen Wight Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: In my own little world. Its OK, they know me here. Posts: 230	Ok, i wrote this ages ago, so lets see if i can remember it...... <b> Fellowship of the Clones </b> Startling similarities between the two... Frodo=Luke: Noble bold heroes who arent half as interesting as everyone else Sam=The Force: Trusty sidekick who does as hes told Merry and Pippin=R2 and C3PO: Comedy duo who irritate everyone else Saruman=Jabba the Hutt: Decoy villains who let others do their dirty work Boromir=Lando Calrissian: Charming ruffians who may, just may, turn on their fellows... Gandalf=Obi Wan: Bearded wizards who snuff it in the first instalment, yet come back later bearing advice. Also played by Sirs. Aragorn=Han Solo: Rugged,stubbly, weapon wielding heroes who eventually get the girl. Arwen=Leia: Pretty girls who do a bit of butt kicking and get hitched to one of the above... Elrond=Yoda: Past it wiise guys who relate the plot for popcorn munching morons. Orcs-Stormtroopers: Army of the villain. Lucky they cant shoot for peanuts... __________________ The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits! (Dontchya just love my avatar? I got a "Tickle Me Boromir" one too...

03-08-2003, 11:51 PM	#49
Horse-Maiden of the Shire Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Chillaxin' with Glorfindel-441 miles on the RtR Posts: 1,197	Heeey... Merry/Pippin/R2D2/C3PO dont ALWAYS annoy everyone! Sometimes they's good. __________________ "There's a big...machine in the sky...some kind of electric snake...coming straight at us." "Shoot it," said my attorney. "Not yet...I want to study its habits."

03-09-2003, 01:19 AM	#50
Kalimac Candle of the Marshes Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Flyover Country Posts: 780	GANDALF: We haven't got time to argue about it in committee! ELROND: I am NOT a committee! (or something like that) I'd satirize something from Eps I and II but mercifully I can't really remember much of the dialogue, except for... ARAGORN: I don't like the rocks in Mordor. They're hard and rough. Not like you, Arwen. You're soft and smooth. (Hey, who could resist giving up their immortality to hear poetry like that?) __________________ Father, dear Father, if you see fit, We'll send my love to college for one year yet Tie blue ribbons all about his head, To let the ladies know that he's married.

04-20-2003, 01:37 PM	#51
The Squatter of Amon Rûdh Spectre of Decay Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Bar-en-Danwedh Posts: 2,177	This is how I would imagine schedules are kept in Mordor: Khamul: My lord, this is an unexpected pleasure. We are honoured by your presence. The Witch-King: You may dispense with the pleasantries. I am here to put you back on schedule. Khamul: I assure you, lord, my men are working as fast as they can. The Witch-King: Perhaps I can find new ways to motivate them. Khamul: I assure you, Lord; this fortress will be operational as planned. The Witch-King: The Dark Lord does not share your optimistic appraisal of the situation. Khamul: But he asks the impossible. I need more men. The Witch-King: Then perhaps you can tell him when he arrives Khamul: The Dark Lord is coming here? The Witch-King: That is correct. And he is most displeased with your apparent lack of progress. Khamul: We shall double our efforts. The Witch-King: I hope so for your sake. The Dark Lord is not as forgiving as I am. __________________ Man kenuva métim' andúne? Last edited by The Squatter of Amon Rûdh; 06-15-2004 at 05:46 AM.

04-20-2003, 02:20 PM	#52
Mornie Alantie Wight Join Date: May 2002 Location: Somewhere above earth cause people say i should come down to it Posts: 226	Somehow the scipts got messed up and..... Padme: I don't need more protection I need answer, I want to know who's trying to kill me. Anakin: Its over there on the mantelpiece...no wait its here in my pocket. Leah: What?!?! Grand Mof Tarken(or whatever the guy who is in control of the death star): Your far to trusting you may fire it when ready. Leah: Its mine I found it! It came to Me!!!! Death Star Guy: Theres no need to get angry. Leah: Well If im angry its your fault, we are a peacful planet we have no weapons! Darth Vader: Are you frightened? Leah: Yes. Yoda: You will be.......wait...... Jar Jar: Any help here woulda be hot. (or what he says when inprisoned by the gungans) Qui-gon: Jar Jar Bink! Do not take me for some conjurer of cheap tricks! I am not trying to help you, I'm trying to kill you. __________________ Instead of pepper spray, you pack a glass bottle and scream "Aiya Earendil Elenion Ancalima!!!" at muggers.

04-20-2003, 03:11 PM	#53
Lily Bombadil Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Hold on...let me consult this broken compass... Posts: 279	(Merry_Pippin_Frodo_Sam, those little short ones are Ewoks. The Wookies are the tall furballs) Know what? When Frodo screamed in Moria he sounded just like Luke when he screamed after Darth told him they were father & son. The wimpy characters always scream the best. I think their talents were ill-proportioned. __________________ "YOU!" "Indeed."

04-20-2003, 03:28 PM	#54
Lily Bombadil Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Hold on...let me consult this broken compass... Posts: 279	OH! Pippin says, "Mesa called Pippin Took!" ___________________________________________ Strider & the 4 hobbits are flying through space in the Millenium Falcon when this big star starts to pull them towards it. Inside, Darth Vader is like "Welcome to the Evenstar. Coo pur, coo pur..." _________________________________________ Arwen is Queen Undomiel instead of Amidala ___________________________________________ Faramir comes crying to Eowyn saying, "I slaughtered them like animals." Then he relates the story of his revenge on the Uruk-hai bcause they killed Boromir. ________________________________________ Legolas says of Aragorn, "This is no mere Jedi. He is Obi Wan Dunedain. You owe him your allegiance." ________________________________________ Arwen says, "You're not all-powerful, Aragorn." "Well I should be." ____________________________________________ Sam says, "Mister Frodo, I need to be serviced." (OKAY, THESE ARE DUMB! [img]smilies/frown.gif[/img] ) __________________ "YOU!" "Indeed."