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Old 09-09-2005, 04:38 PM   #361
Orominuialwen
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This has been mentioned before, but I'll do it again.

I assign allergies to Mordor. Especially when you used to only be allergic to things like red salad dressing and antibacterial soap that are fairly easy to stay away from, then suddenly develop a pollen allergy that's it's impossible to avoid, and then are completely miserable. Plus, allergies feel as bad as being sick, but you're not allowed to stay home from school because of them. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...
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Old 09-09-2005, 06:10 PM   #362
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You don't *have* to read this. You've been warned.

Allergies and excess mucous have been sent to Mordor, but there is one thing I would like to see sent with them:

Hankerchiefs.

Not nice clean ones, those are a very good thing, but the used ones. The ones that you seem to soak repeatedly. The ones you struggle to find a dry spot on.

Along with used hankerchiefs goes the feeling of a wet used hankerchief when you have to stick it back in your pocket. Cold and clammy...or worse, warm and clammy.

Or if you happen to use tissues, the piles and piles of wet tissued piled around the chair where you happen to be seated.

I would also like to send dog bites to Mordor. And the dog that gives them. (Stupid Sheila...)
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Old 09-09-2005, 08:25 PM   #363
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To Mordor I assign the person who invented those shoes which were loose around your ankles, yet tight upon your toes, so that I hurt to wear the blasted things. By Ilúvatar, does it feel good to take them off at the end of the day!
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Old 09-10-2005, 06:45 AM   #364
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Off puddle jumping

Terrorists have already been sent to Mordor, so I'll send the little worries that pick at the mind of whether I'll be safe in those double decker busses or in the underground of London. Anyway, I'll be back in three weeks. I'm off to England tomorrow. Have fun and keep making this thread a hoot to read. Even about snotty hankies!
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Old 09-10-2005, 08:39 AM   #365
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Practice job interviews - with your parents.
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Old 09-10-2005, 11:43 AM   #366
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Quote:
Originally Posted by littlemanpoet
Terrorists have already been sent to Mordor, so I'll send the little worries that pick at the mind of whether I'll be safe in those double decker busses or in the underground of London. Anyway, I'll be back in three weeks. I'm off to England tomorrow. Have fun and keep making this thread a hoot to read. Even about snotty hankies!
Have a good trip! I'll be heading to London the last week of December.

Since we're talking about travel, I'll assign flight delays. I hate being trapped in the airport, especially when said delay has the potential to make you miss important appointments.
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Old 09-10-2005, 08:15 PM   #367
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After a week of waiting, figuring out you ordered the mIcroeconomics book when you needed the mAcroeconomics book. The test is in three days.
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Old 09-10-2005, 11:44 PM   #368
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I send people who don't show up for the fourth time in a row when you invite them some place. I don't necessicarily assign that particular person, but just that he keeps saying he'd be delighted to come to things and then not showing up. When he asked me to do something with him, I came, so it would be nice if he would do the same thing for me. At least I do get ice cream out of the fact that he didn't come, though...
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Old 09-11-2005, 07:08 AM   #369
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People who just don't understand introverts. We like being by ourselves sometimes.

Especially extroverts who try to make conversation when you are clearly not in the mood. The expression on my face clearly shows I've had a hard day at 6th Form. I can't be bothered to make conversation about trivial matters with you. Go away.

Also, being introverted and shy when you're around people you know you'll get on excellent with, once you get to know them.
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Old 09-11-2005, 08:54 AM   #370
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nuranar
After a week of waiting, figuring out you ordered the mIcroeconomics book when you needed the mAcroeconomics book. The test is in three days.
No worries, dear. Just tell your professor that economics is simply the study of scarcity of resources and how society decides to allocate what they've got. If you feel like being brave, add a bit about how society is obvious bad at this job, because we've got enough resources on our planet, we're just bad at shuffling so that everybody gets what they need. Add a pinch about how current events affect all levels of economics (or did nobody else see gas prices shoot up about $0.30 right after Katrina?) and you should be covered. Or just PM the phantom. He likes the subject.

I assign classes that I couldn't stand but that I still did really well in. Just because I aced the final (five essays in one hour) in Economics didn't mean that I wanted to tutor anybody in the class. Just because I could scrape a B in Calculus didn't mean that I a) liked it or b) had any idea how I managed it. Just because I understood just how E could equal MC^2 didn't mean I was comfortable enough with the theory to explain it to anybody else.

And I assign crystal clear memories. Not the good ones... the good ones you can never quite remember perfectly any how. It's always the bad ones that you'd like to put away in a deep vault (hooray for repression!) that spring to mind most clearly and leave you feeling just like you did four years ago this day. It's always the bad ones that leave you to remember each word from each person (they had been scarce that day) and each gut-wrenching reaction the entirely unbelievable that you were watching happen live on a television in front of you, when you should have been in class. And remembering seeing your most stoically unflappable teacher.... crying. Those memories should go.
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Old 09-11-2005, 12:24 PM   #371
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Also, being introverted and shy when you're around people you know you'll get on excellent with, once you get to know them.
I send being introverted to Mordor! Sometimes I get all tongue tied, even at work, and I can't even summon up the courage to ring people so I have to e-mail them instead. I also send to Mordor those people who don't understand why you feel that way sometimes, those people who try and make you feel bad about being nervous!
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Old 09-11-2005, 12:58 PM   #372
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Hmm...I'm introverted and can't imagine being any other way, though it is a problem never phoning people. I think they will feel I don't care for them!

What I would like to propose sending to Mordor is the feeling one gets when one opens one's check book and instead of finding the prewritten check one expects to find, you find one you thought you sent off last Monday! That feeling is to closely followed by a second, even more unpleasant, the realization that you did indeed send a check in that envelope, but you have no way of knowing if it was made out to your church or your Insurance company! Ergh....
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Old 09-11-2005, 01:28 PM   #373
Feanor of the Peredhil
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Let's just send telephones to Mordor.

They are possibly the most evil creations around... Alexander Grahm Bell, shame to you.

Example 1: The dreaded after-date paranoia. Will he call? Do I want him to call? No. Will I be offended when he doesn't? Yes. What's wrong with me? Why isn't he calling. Oh my God, the phone just rang... I don't want to talk to him! It's not for me? What do you mean it's not for me. He's supposed to call.

Example 2: The dreaded business call. How do I address my future employer? She wrote "Michelle" on the paper by her number, but she's quite a lot older than me. Should I call her Missus? Professor? Is it unprofessional to call her by name? This is her home number... will I be interrupting her? What time is most appropriate for a business call?

Example 3: No news is good news. They said they'd call when they had news... but do I want to hear it? Is it better to get bad news in person? Should I just go over there? Or wait by the phone...

Example 4: Is it even for me? No, of course not. Wait, it is? Do I actually feel like talking? What if there's awkward silence... should I just fill it? God I hate talking on the phone. Is it rude to have a three minute conversation? I'd rather just talk in person.

Example 5: It's my parents, and they want to know about university. Should I tell them about that crazy party my floor had? It's not like there was booze there at all... how much is too much information? Should I lie and say that all I do on campus is homework? What about that really cute guy in my Psych class who I simply *must* get to know. Are they more curious about my work, or my life here? What am I supposed to tell them. Oh hi, Mom. What's up?

Example 6: The unidentified caller. Hi, it's me. Ooooookay. Do you know what time we're going to Mac's? Do I know who you are? Did so-and-so say anything about me? No clue... I recognize her voice, but who is this? She recognizes my voice... I feel like a jerk for not recognizing hers.

And last but not least, Example 7: It's not for you any how. Hi. *faints over the identity of guy on phone* Hey, how'd you get my extension; playing it cool. Actually, I'm calling for your room mate/brother/cousin/friend/fill in the blank.

Phones... are simply put on this Earth to make you question everything. Do you want to answer? What if it's somebody who you'd prefer got the message "She's not here right now". Or how do you conduct a formal business meeting over a phoneline?

Things should be done in person, or in writing. It's just entirely too nerve-wracking to use one of those horrible ringing, caller ID-ing, message taking works of Morgoth. I hope LMP's Mordor-escapees have to make a nerve-wracking phone call at least one. Come to think of it... perhaps Canonicitiwen (name subject to change) will have to...
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Old 09-11-2005, 10:48 PM   #374
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Declaring feelings to somebody and them not returning them... or the other way around. I would only let people declare feelings unless the other person feels the same way.
Damn Locker combination got stuck. Wisdom teeth.

Ypu can tell today isn't a good day for me!
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Old 09-12-2005, 04:50 AM   #375
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I would send windshield wiper blades that always streak right in the line of vision to Mordor, but I think that they must be manufactured there!
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Old 09-12-2005, 04:54 PM   #376
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Forgetting what it was you had been wanting to post here all day.

Creepy teachers. (Like my math teacher who married a former student of his, and has had so many harassment complaints made about him, and yet the school refuses to do anything about it. )

When a bunch of your friends are in the same class, and you aren't in any classes with any of your friends (at least for the time being).

When your'e in a class that is supposed to be about current events/civics/ethics sorts of things, and the entire class has the exact same opinion on everthing, except for you, who pretty much consistently disagree with them all. It's kind of hard to have debate when it's 31 vs. 1 and you're afraid of how nasty you know at least some of the people will most likely act when the class really gets down to serious issues, not just introductory sorts of things. And as well, the one friend you know will protect you when people get nasty (even when it's other friends of his, and even when he disagrees with you) isn't in your class. In other words, this class could be okay if the students' viewpoints were a bit more evenly balanced.

Homework that keeps you from the much more educational experience of coming here.

Having such an irrational fear of phone calls that the number of people who you can call on the phone without panicking is limited about 2 friends and your immediate family members.



Edit: Something to definitely not assign to Mordor: my 500th post! (It certainly took me long enough to get there!)
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Old 09-12-2005, 07:58 PM   #377
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Imagine, if you will, sheer excitement coursing through your veins. You have your dance class... a new and interesting hobby that you have already fallen in love with. You know that you are going to finish 1 1/2 hours of hard exercise dripping with sweat, aching horribly, slightly dehydrated, and dying for need of food. But it's okay, because you will have danced. You know that you can go take a half hour long shower to soothe your aching muscles, and you know that you'll be able to wash your hair and self and come out of it all feeling better than ever.

Now imagine that you find out that you have a mandatory meeting about honors scholarships five minutes after your class ends, when you will still be sweaty, achy, hungry, and dressed in your dance clothes and that they will be photographing you for your home town newspapers and to send the pictures to those providing the money.

Might I be allowed to send that hilarious bit of life to Mordor? That awaits me tomorrow...
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Old 09-13-2005, 02:10 PM   #378
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I must say it... really, I have no choice.

SAVEs. They must go to Mordor.

The burst of excitement upon seeing that one of your fellow writers has posted on a game thread is so much fun that when you quickly click the link... the revelation that there is no continuation but rather a promise that there soon will be... is just plain depressing.
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Old 09-13-2005, 02:18 PM   #379
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Originally Posted by Feanor of the Peredhil
SAVEs. They must go to Mordor.
I quite agree, especially when they're the kind that are posted on the Entish Bow RPG - they last forever!
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Old 09-13-2005, 03:13 PM   #380
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Not having enough time to respond to PMs, or create PMs you want to send.

In fact, the entire time-consuming nature of 6th Form goes to Mordor.
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Old 09-13-2005, 03:17 PM   #381
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Quote:
I quite agree, especially when they're the kind that are posted on the Entish Bow RPG - they last forever!
I've noticed.

Oh, and I would like to send people who pronounce ramen noodles as ray-men noodles to Mordor. For heaven's sake, it's ramen.... that's rah-min. And with them, can go all of the pop drinkers. We drink soda in these here parts.
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Old 09-13-2005, 03:34 PM   #382
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And with them, can go all of the pop drinkers. We drink soda in these here parts.
I say all y'all better git goin' there quick. Y'all should know there ain't no such thang as soda or pop! It's all just coke. Yuh wanna coke? We got Dr Pepper, Sprite, Root Beer, Big Red...
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Old 09-13-2005, 03:40 PM   #383
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Coke is Coke, and in itself can be sent to Mordor. Pepsi's better.

*pulls out can of Dr. Pepper*
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Old 09-13-2005, 07:44 PM   #384
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Originally Posted by Estelyn Telcontar
I quite agree, especially when they're the kind that are posted on the Entish Bow RPG - they last forever!
Yet another in a long list of items keeping me in Mordor ...
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Old 09-13-2005, 08:49 PM   #385
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Pipe

Soda & coke drinkers. It's called pop here, unless it's an actual Coke of course.
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Old 09-13-2005, 08:59 PM   #386
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1420! <-- not a soda, but close enough

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fea, my Fellow New Yorker
We drink soda in these here parts.
Hear, hear!

Also to Mordor: apathetic English teachers who don't care enough to really listen to what you have to say about the literature the class is reading. Can I get credits from the Downs?
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Old 09-14-2005, 06:17 AM   #387
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Not having enough time to respond to PMs, or create PMs you want to send.

In fact, the entire time-consuming nature of 6th Form goes to Mordor.
I send to Mordor the nature of the modern world, taking all the fun out of life. Back in my time, a day in 6th form consisted of listening to Cure tapes for an hour, followed by locking the deputy head boy in a cupboard and then going to the woods for the rest of the day.
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Old 09-14-2005, 08:21 AM   #388
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Eye

Quote:
Y'all should know there ain't no such thang as soda or pop! It's all just coke. Yuh wanna coke? We got Dr Pepper, Sprite, Root Beer, Big Red...
Good grief, that is so dumb. When I'm in Texas I hate when I order a "Coke" in a resturaunt and they say "What kind?"

What do you mean, "what kind"? I said I wanted "COKE"- not Sprite, Root Beer, or anything else. If I say "Coke" just bring me a friggin' Coke!

Sheesh. It's like asking a car dealer if you can look at his Ferraris and he says "What kind of Ferrari- Ford, Nissan, or Honda?"

No! A Honda isn't a Ferrari! If I wanted to look at the Hondas I would've said "Honda". And if I wanted a Sprite I'd say "Sprite", not "Coke". And if I want a chicken sandwich I won't ask for the hamburger! And if I wanna see a football game I won't drive to the baseball stadium! And if I want to rant about something that annoys me I'll go to the "What do you assign to Mordor" thread!
Quote:
Soda & coke drinkers. It's called pop here, unless it's an actual Coke of course.
Right on, bro.
Quote:
Example 6: The unidentified caller. Hi, it's me. Ooooookay. Do you know what time we're going to Mac's? Do I know who you are? Did so-and-so say anything about me? No clue... I recognize her voice, but who is this? She recognizes my voice... I feel like a jerk for not recognizing hers.
Ha ha! Yeah, I hate that.
Quote:
And last but not least, Example 7: It's not for you any how. Hi. *faints over the identity of guy on phone* Hey, how'd you get my extension; playing it cool. Actually, I'm calling for your room mate/brother/cousin/friend/fill in the blank.
Heh heh. I do that. My friend's little sis likes me so I'll call her cell and tell her "I think your brother doesn't have his phone on- is he there?" even though I haven't really tried her brother's phone. Every so often (once every two months maybe) I'll actually have a long conversation with her- that way every time I call she thinks that just maybe I'm calling to talk to her for a long time and she gets her hopes up.

I think I might qualify for Mordor on that one.
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Old 09-14-2005, 11:43 AM   #389
Feanor of the Peredhil
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Originally Posted by the phantom
Right on, bro.
Unforgivable.

Quote:
I think I might qualify for Mordor on that one.
Yes, yes you do. But at least when I go in to rescue Eomer and Johnny Depp I can say hi.
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Old 09-14-2005, 12:12 PM   #390
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All my wishy-washy talk of clemency is gone.

Irritating History masters who e-mail you summoning you out of the relative comfort of your lair and into the cold wastes of the village to collect some reading matter, only to not turn up...

They shall be sent to the slave-fields of Nurn...
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Old 09-14-2005, 02:38 PM   #391
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Just kidding.
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Old 09-14-2005, 03:51 PM   #392
Orominuialwen
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Being left at school for two hours because the answering machine didn't record the message when you called and asked to be picked up, and then screamed at for not calling more times and lied to about the last time you were left someplace when you finally are picked up.

When your violin still isn't fixed, even though you were told it would be ready several days ago. I'm going into withdrawal, especially since I got a bunch of wonderful new music to play which I can't until I get the violin back, since a lot of it isn't really suited to the penny whistle.
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Old 09-25-2005, 11:02 AM   #393
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I assign colds to mordor! I also assign the fact that there aren't enough tissues in my house. Stuffy nose, soar throat, headache. The whole works. IT SUCKS! To Mordor you go, and don't come back!
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Old 09-25-2005, 11:57 AM   #394
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Wilwarin, you seem to be dealing with the same problems as me. What a strange-and painful- coincidence. And while we are at it I am tempted to send my cute little dog into Mordor for eating most of my tissues. And students who insist on coming to school when they are sick so they can generously spread their viruses should go to Mordor and become one of the many weapons that the Dark Lord uses.
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Old 09-25-2005, 03:14 PM   #395
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Ah I've missed this thread It's nice to have a place where you can rant.

I would like to assign people who you think are your friends and then they turn round and stab you in the back. Not literally, that might actually be a little less painful though.
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Old 09-25-2005, 04:54 PM   #396
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Thumbs up My icon embodies my sarcasm

Quote:
Originally Posted by littlemanpoet
SAVE


Just kidding.
Indeed! Well, given my recent circumstances (Evacuating from New Orleans to Houston. And now form Houston to Dallas) i now assign Hurricanes to Mordor. They are just pure evil! Pure! There is nothing good about them in nature. And think of all the baby puppies that you see on the news that are now up for adoption. All that goes through their mind is and : ( ...and occasionally . Hurricanes are definetly Mordor material!
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Old 09-28-2005, 11:37 AM   #397
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Having to go back to work and my vacation being over next week. But I'm not dwelling on it, no way.
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Old 09-28-2005, 01:03 PM   #398
Feanor of the Peredhil
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Knowing that you are completely out of clean clothes... and there not being a single open washing machine. Actually, I'll expand that to having to share a laundry facility with 140 women. Do you have any idea how many clothes a dorm full of women goes through? There's never an open machine. And then if there is, the dryers are in use for the next several hours after your load finishes.

Not, of course, that I'm annoyed by this or anything.

PS: welcome back LMP!
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Old 09-28-2005, 01:43 PM   #399
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Eye

Quote:
having to share a laundry facility with 140 women.
Let me see... 140 college girls... and me...

That doesn't sound very Mordorish at all!

I would tend to place it somewhere between awesome and heavenly.
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Old 09-28-2005, 01:51 PM   #400
Cailín
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I just have to...

Phonetics should go to Mordor. Including all people who actually like phonetics. They scare me.

The difference between English and American spelling should go to Mordor, too. Honestly, why couldn't you keep it at one system and vocab?

Also, the expression sanguine about definitely does not belong in a happy land. Nobody knows what that means, anyway *sulks*

And evil, sarcastic, sadistic teachers - who say you argue like the American president - should be assigned to Mordor immediately.

-- Cailín *having some college issues*
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