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Old 03-09-2005, 03:39 AM   #4281
Rimbaud
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Rimbaud has just left Hobbiton.
It was a hairdresser's nightmare as the contestants lined up before Gondor's first makeover show.
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Old 03-09-2005, 03:45 AM   #4282
The Saucepan Man
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The Saucepan Man has been trapped in the Barrow!
Boots Saruman equips Wormtongue with some advanced technology ...

Grima: Hold still everyone! Theoden, could you move slightly to your left please? And you at the back, please face forward. That's it. Now everyone say ... goodbye!

*FLASH!*

*BANG!*
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Old 03-09-2005, 08:00 AM   #4283
Fordim Hedgethistle
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THEODEN:

I am the very model of a medieval general,
I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I know the kings of Eriador, and I quote the fights historical
From Celebrant to Pelennor, in order categorical;
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical,
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical,
About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news,
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.


ALL:
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.


THEODEN:
I know our mythic history, Eorl the Young and Helm Hammerhand;
I answer hard acrostics, I've a pretty taste for paradox,
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a medieval general.


ALL:
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
He is the very model of a medieval general.


THEODEN:
Then I can write a washing bill in Numenorean cuneiform,
And tell you ev'ry detail of Ecthelion’s uniform:
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a medieval general.


ALL:
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
He is the very model of a medieval general.


THEODEN:
For my military knowledge, though I'm plucky and adventury,
Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century;
But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a medieval general.


ALL:
But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
He is the very model of a medieval general.



With apologies to Gilbert and Sullivan.
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Old 03-09-2005, 09:04 AM   #4284
Eomer of the Rohirrim
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Eomer of the Rohirrim is a guest at the Prancing Pony.Eomer of the Rohirrim is a guest at the Prancing Pony.
Boots Such disappointment

"Sorry gentlemen but the disco is full. On your way now..."
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Old 03-09-2005, 09:12 AM   #4285
TomBrady12
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TomBrady12 has just left Hobbiton.
Theoden and the boys watch in wonder as Ron Popeil demonstrates the fat cutting benefits of cooking their mutton on the RONCO Rotisserie Barbeque...

Ron: you just slide the juicy leg o' lamb onto the nonstick spitrod and....

Everyone: SET IT AND FORGET IT!!!!

TB12

P.S. Only 3 easy payments of 29.99 gets you all of the above, band of Rohirrim not included.
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Old 03-09-2005, 03:25 PM   #4286
Lalwendë
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Lalwendë is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.Lalwendë is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.
Theoden began to suspect that the irritating groaning noises that had been bothering him all day might in fact be coming from the undead zombie horde behind him, which was slathering for his blood.
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Old 03-09-2005, 07:13 PM   #4287
The Only Real Estel
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Pipe a pox on commercials...

Everyone together: We wish we could taste our beer...
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Old 03-09-2005, 10:03 PM   #4288
Oddwen
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Oddwen is a guest of Elrond in Rivendell.Oddwen is a guest of Elrond in Rivendell.Oddwen is a guest of Elrond in Rivendell.
Theoden: By Grapthar's hammer ... ... ... what a savings.
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Old 03-09-2005, 11:25 PM   #4289
THE Ka
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bachelorette of Rohan!

What happend when Saruman really cut back on quality television in Rohan...


* Announcer voice: And, from our fifty some odd contestants, who all have boasted that thet in fact do shower, (except for one who, is still questionable) and know the way to a warg's heart, our lovely bachelorette will choose twenty lucky fellows!

(Gigantic Female warg struts in...)


Contestants: Eww! Err... oh! Aw! lovely! *Weak wistle
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í endaleysu tokuni?
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Old 03-10-2005, 02:33 AM   #4290
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The Gang of Rohan:
*menacing stares*
We know where you live! Now hand us that soap bar and nobody gets hurt!

(btw - what's with the guy whose back you see in front of the camera? I feel I should include him in the caption but I don't know how ).
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Old 03-10-2005, 02:53 AM   #4291
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Nilpaurion Felagund is a guest at the Prancing Pony.Nilpaurion Felagund is a guest at the Prancing Pony.
1420! Not this again!

They all saw Gandalf the Grey uncloaked!
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The plot, cut, defeated.
I intend to copy this sig forever - so far so good...
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Old 03-10-2005, 09:13 AM   #4292
Esgallhugwen
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White Tree

Helm's Deep the water park turned out to be not such a great idea after all, *note man doubled over tossing his cookies*
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Old 03-10-2005, 02:23 PM   #4293
Eomer of the Rohirrim
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Eomer of the Rohirrim is a guest at the Prancing Pony.Eomer of the Rohirrim is a guest at the Prancing Pony.
Boots

Lal, I couldn't rep you but that was the funniest, most ridiculous caption I've seen in a while.


This game isn't funny anymore....

....Gandalf takes a nice little game of wrestling too far, gouging out Gimli's eyes in the process *note Gimli's lack of, well, eyes!*
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Last edited by Eomer of the Rohirrim; 03-10-2005 at 02:26 PM. Reason: for clarity
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Old 03-10-2005, 02:50 PM   #4294
davem
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davem is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.davem is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.
Theoden & the rest turn their backs in disgust on the warrior behind Aragorn after he makes it clear for the last time that he won't share his easter egg with them...
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Old 03-10-2005, 03:35 PM   #4295
Hookbill the Goomba
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Thumbs up

Theoden and all: WE NEED A NEW PICTURE!



Sam: I'll show you just how many hobbits it takes to change a light bulb!!
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Old 03-10-2005, 05:14 PM   #4296
Formendacil
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Formendacil is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Formendacil is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Formendacil is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Formendacil is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
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Lightbulb-Witch-king: "Fool! No living man may hinder me!"

Sam-Merry, brandishing sword: "A man! Indeed I am not!"
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Old 03-10-2005, 05:25 PM   #4297
The Only Real Estel
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Pipe

Already self-conscious about his newly-gained weight, Sean had finally heard one to many fat-jokes from Elijah.
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Old 03-10-2005, 05:54 PM   #4298
THE Ka
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Energizer Ad for Middle Earth: "Even in the hands of a hobbit, it keeps going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going..."

* two hours later

Sam: Shut it! I'm not a *pink rabbit!




* P.A.S.F.C.P. completes another mission...

~Hedwig Ka
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Hevur tú reikað líka sum eg,
í endaleysu tokuni?

Last edited by THE Ka; 03-10-2005 at 06:15 PM. Reason: reduntive... hedwig save my soul...
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Old 03-10-2005, 06:12 PM   #4299
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Sting

Sam: "Let him go you filth!!"

Shelob: "Ha! Art thou bedlam? Be prepared to be folded up in Shelob's fatal web! Hence! I am qualmish at the sight of lightbulbs!"

Sam and Shelob fight. After Sam sticks Shelob she retreats.

Sam: "Oh, here's a groat to heal your belly!"

Shelob: (Running away.) "Not for Cadwallader and all his goats!"
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Old 03-10-2005, 07:54 PM   #4300
The Only Real Estel
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The Only Real Estel has just left Hobbiton.
Pipe

Sam: "My name is Samwise Gamgee. You turned my gaffer out of Bagshot Row. Prepare to die."
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Old 03-10-2005, 08:41 PM   #4301
Oddwen
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Oddwen is a guest of Elrond in Rivendell.Oddwen is a guest of Elrond in Rivendell.Oddwen is a guest of Elrond in Rivendell.
Sam: Inhale this, but do not touch.
Shelob: I smell nothing.
Sam: What you do not smell is called iocaine powder. It is odorless, tasteless, dissolves instantly in liquid and is among the more deadly poisons known to man.

Or...on another Nerd Channel...

Sam: Perhaps together Mr. Frodo, the Makhtar Chant of Strength! Nurak, turath! Nurak, turath!

Or...on the Geek Trail...

Shelob: What happen?
Shelob: Someone set up us the Elf Warrior.
Sam: Hello you filth.
Sam: All Mr. Frodo is belong to us.
Sam: You have no time to survive make your time.
Sam: Ha ha ha ha ha.

Or...on a more Boring Level...

Sam: This is DISTILLED vinegar!

Or...on a Silly Level...

Sam: To be, or not to be, if you follow me!
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Old 03-10-2005, 10:52 PM   #4302
The Perky Ent
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1420!

Sam: WHAT DID YOU DO TO ROSIE?!? I SWEAR IF YOU TOUCHED HER, I'LL TURN YOU INTO POTATOE STEW!!!
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Old 03-10-2005, 11:14 PM   #4303
Nilpaurion Felagund
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1420! Gardeners.

Sam: You touched my petunias?!
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The plot, cut, defeated.
I intend to copy this sig forever - so far so good...
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Old 03-11-2005, 03:09 AM   #4304
Lalwendë
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Lalwendë is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.Lalwendë is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.
Sam's joy at finding a bottle of beer in the wastes of Mordor was short lived when he realised he had forgotten to bring the bottle opener.
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Old 03-11-2005, 04:03 AM   #4305
Hookbill the Goomba
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Thumbs up

Sam: For the five-hundredth time... I name this ship: "Titanic"! *Bottle fails to smash* AAAGH!

EDIT: Hurrah for my 501st post! *Waves small flag*
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Old 03-11-2005, 09:26 AM   #4306
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Eomer of the Rohirrim is a guest at the Prancing Pony.Eomer of the Rohirrim is a guest at the Prancing Pony.
Boots

Gardeners often surprise you; Sam used his specialised knowledge to devise a new weapon in the fight against Sauron: The Glowing Parsnip of Doom!
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Old 03-11-2005, 10:44 AM   #4307
Maeggaladiel
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Maeggaladiel has just left Hobbiton.
I DO believe in fairies! I do! I do!

Once Sam captured Tinkerbell, lighting the way to Mordor was a cinch.
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Old 03-11-2005, 10:46 AM   #4308
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Maeggaladiel has just left Hobbiton.
Sam- BEHOLD! The Molotov Cocktail of Galadriel!

Shelob didn't stand a chance.
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Old 03-11-2005, 12:26 PM   #4309
Esgallhugwen
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White Tree

Sam has a bright light and a pointy object what could possibly go wrong?

I know I shouldn't do this but I was meaning to type it the last time. I have issues letting go of the past.

Faramir pic: Sure the strawberry is cute and the marshmellow is funny but did you have to make the helm entirely out of pancakes....I think I have syrup in my ear.
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Old 03-11-2005, 03:02 PM   #4310
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Feanor of the Peredhil is a guest of Elrond in Rivendell.Feanor of the Peredhil is a guest of Elrond in Rivendell.Feanor of the Peredhil is a guest of Elrond in Rivendell.
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Silmaril

Sam's opinion on Glow by J.Lo. shows through.
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Old 03-11-2005, 04:05 PM   #4311
Eomer of the Rohirrim
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Eomer of the Rohirrim is a guest at the Prancing Pony.Eomer of the Rohirrim is a guest at the Prancing Pony.
Boots

As the wave of lucite is about to wash over him, Sam sets himself into classic Lorne Greene pose from Battlestar Galactica : "Best. Death. Ever."
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Old 03-11-2005, 04:15 PM   #4312
Gurthang
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Gurthang has just left Hobbiton.
Trying to prove that he had been out of the Shire, Sam produces the Special Edition Galadriel's Phial Lighter that he picked up in the Lothlorien gift shop.
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Old 03-11-2005, 04:21 PM   #4313
TomBrady12
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Sam, Frodo and Gollum play a rousing game of Pepper durring some down time in Mordor.


-Probibly only funny if you're as obsessed with baseball as I am...even then, probibly not

TB12
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Old 03-12-2005, 06:24 AM   #4314
Lalwendë
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Lalwendë is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.Lalwendë is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.
Rosie: "Sam, for the hundredth time, will you please stop swinging off the lightbulb and pretending the lampshade is Shelob, and just get in bed?"
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Old 03-12-2005, 09:47 AM   #4315
luthien-elvenprincess
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Angered by comments that he was a "dim bulb", Samwise Gamgee forcibly responded by pulling a lighted bulb out of his sleeve. Thus passing, with highest honors, the final test of the"Magician for Dummies" home correspondence course he had been wading through the last six monthes, and silencing his accusers.
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Old 03-12-2005, 12:14 PM   #4316
Lalwendë
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Lalwendë is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.Lalwendë is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.
"So I'm packing my bags for the Misty Mountains..."

Samwise gets really over-excited at the Led Zeppelin reunion gig. When Misty Mountain Hop starts up he can't decide between holding his lighter aloft or playing air guitar on Sting.
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Old 03-12-2005, 01:44 PM   #4317
Hama Of The Riddermark
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When IKEA kits go wrong...

or

Forced to cut costs somewhere, Galadriel watched on in amusement as Sam realised that the light of Earendil was in fact a glass bottle full of yellow ink...
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Old 03-12-2005, 06:43 PM   #4318
The Saucepan Man
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The Saucepan Man has been trapped in the Barrow!
Boots

Frodo: Darn! These Shire power cuts are becoming a nuisance!

Sam: Don't worry Mister Frodo Sir, I have a novelty candle here.

Frodo: Well light it quickly then. I hate the though of spiders creeping up on us in the dark.

Sam: There we go Mister ...

Frodo and Sam: Woooaarrgh! That's one big spider!
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Old 03-12-2005, 07:03 PM   #4319
The Only Real Estel
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Pipe

Initially, the light of the Phial gave Sam hope that he could defeat the giant spider...then he saw by its light that all but the hilt of Sting had disintegrated.
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Old 03-12-2005, 08:07 PM   #4320
Gil-Galad
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Gil-Galad has been trapped in the Barrow!
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Sam: look at what the elves have made

Frodo: what is it?

Sam: i do beleive they call it a LIGHT-BULB

Frodo: a light-bulb? Brilliant!

Sam: and now with special darkness-scaring powers

Frodo: Brilliant!
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Love doesn't blow up and get killed.
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