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Old 07-23-2003, 11:23 AM   #41
elfearz1
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If I'm doing to many scenes feel free to tell me to shut up [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]

*Pippin is throwing rocks in the water*
Aragorn: do not disturb the water *grabs his hand
Pippin: But why?
Aragorn: because I said so
Pip: but you never gave me a good reason. huh? why? why? why?
*Aragorn picks up Pip and throws him in the water. Then steps over Gandalf and enters the mine. All follow with Frodo and Pippin in the back.*
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Old 07-23-2003, 03:12 PM   #42
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Shield

*Fellowship walks through the gates of Moria-suddenly the Watcher in the Water grabs Frodo*

Pip: Frodo! Frodo! Where are you going?

Frodo: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!

*Legolas starts shooting arrows while Jimmy slashes at the Watcher with his sword. Out of the gloom, Boromir comes charging out*

Boromir [img]smilies/frown.gif[/img]you have to have read Make your own crazy Scene with Pics to get this)SSSSSSQQQQUUUUIIIIDDDD!!!!!!!

*Boromir lunges at the Watcher with a fork and knife*
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Old 07-23-2003, 03:54 PM   #43
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Sting

Boromir eats the watcher in the water.
The fellowship enter the mines of Moria.

Boromir:*belches loudly*

The door collapses.

Gandalf: Fool of a... oops, wrong person.
You idiot! now we can't get out, and who knows what heard you!

That's all I can think of for now, sorry it's so short.
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Old 07-23-2003, 05:28 PM   #44
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*they walk through Moria for a while, Gandalf gets lost.*

GANDALF: I have no memory of this place...
FRODO: Would it kill you to ask for directions?
GANDALF: NEVER!!!! A wizard does not ask for directions! He ALWAYS knows exactly where he is!
FRODO: Then how come you're lost?
GANDALF: Am not!
FRODO: Are too!
GANDALF: Am not!
FRODO: Are too!
(several hours later)
GANDALF: Am not.. Wait! It's that way! I knew it all along! And YOU said I was lost!
GIMLI: Ohh! *sees Balin's grave and then starts bawling like a little girl*
LEGOLAS: It's okay.. don't cry...*hugs Gimli*
*Aragorn and Boromir start looking at him strangely*
*Pippin knocks the skeleton into the well, etc.*
GANDALF: Fool of a Took! Throw yourself in next time, and rid us of your stupidity!
ARAGORN: I second the motion!
BOROMIR: Me too!
GANDALF: *sigh*
*Boromir looks out the doorway*
*he gets shot with an arrow*
BOROMIR: AAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHH *dies*
PJ: Cut! What was that?!
BOROMIR: Well, you SAID I was supposed to die in this movie, so...
PJ: Not YET!!!
BOROMIR: Oh, if you insist... *comes back to life* They have a cave troll!
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Old 07-24-2003, 07:53 AM   #45
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Sting

Gimli: Let them come. There is one dwarf yet in Moria who still draws pretty pictures.

Pippin throws himself into the hole, following Gandalf's earlier advice. Merry, Frodo and Sam follow suite.
The rest of the fellowship jump into the hole. They all land in a pile on the ground. Somehow, Frodo is on the bottom of the pile instead of Pippin.
Everybody except Frodo gets up.

Sam: Frodo? Frodo!

Aragorn: Oh, no.

As he turns him over. Frodo groans...

Sam: He's alive!

Rest: Damn.

Frodo: I'm alright. I'm not hurt.

Aragorn: You should be dead.
The impact of the fall, then all of us landing on you would have squished a wild Boar into some form of edible mush.

Gandalf: I think there's more to this Hobbit than meets the eye.

Frodo reveals his Mithril.

Gimli: Mithril! You are full of surprises, Master Baggins!

Gandalf looks around him.

Gandalf: How handy. We're on the bridge.

[ July 24, 2003: Message edited by: the guy who be short ]

[ July 24, 2003: Message edited by: the guy who be short ]
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Old 07-24-2003, 08:23 AM   #46
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Quote:
How handy. We're on the bridge.
I'm going to change that to the stairs with the big break in them, just so I can have some fun with that.

GANDALF: Ah, now all we have to do is...
RRRRROOOOAAAAAAWWWWWWWRRRRR!!!!
BOROMIR: What is this new devilry?
GANDALF: A Balrog. This foe is beyond any of you...
ARAGORN: So what should we do?
GANDALF: RUN! Oh, all except Pippin. You stay here.
PIPPIN: HEY!! *runs anyway*
*Legolas and Gandalf jump over the break in the stairs*
*Boromir throws Merry to them, but throws Pippin over the side into the abyss.*
*Somehow Pippin appears on the other side anyway*
GANDALF: *sigh*
*Boromir jumps, then Aragorn tosses Sam*
GIMLI: Nobody tosses a dwarf! EYAAAAAH!
*Legolas catches him by the beard*
GIMLI: AAAH! Not the beard!
LEGOLAS: Fine then. *lets go*
*Gimli manages to pull himself up*
GIMLI: *mutters something nasty about elves*
*Aragorn and Frodo manage to get across*
*the Fellowship comes to the bridge*
BALROG: RRRROOOOOAAAAWWWWRRRR!!!!
GANDALF: You cannot pass!
FRODO: Gandalf!
GANDALF: I am a servant of the secret fire, wielder of the flame of Arnor. Dark fire will not avail you, flame of Udun! Go back to the Shadow. YOU SHALL NOT *slips*
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!
BALROG: Haha! What an idiot. I'll just fly down and put him out of his misery.
*he swoops down, but finds out that he really DOESN'T have wings. [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img] *
BALROG: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!
GANDALF(from far below): You can't fly, you fool!

[ July 24, 2003: Message edited by: Meneltarmacil ]
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Old 07-24-2003, 02:25 PM   #47
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Sting

I would like to reserve the scene when Legolas tells the hobbits about lembas, I have a nice lil parody of that, so please save it for me.
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Old 07-24-2003, 03:27 PM   #48
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Sting

*the fellowship rushes out of Moria and pause in sorrow*

*Aragorn looks stern*
*Leggy looks confused*
*Boromir has hair in his eyes and has Gimli in a headlock thinking it's Pippin*
*Merry has no such hair in his eyes and is strangling Pippin*
*Sam is sobbing his poor li'l heart out*

Aragorn: Get them up!

*He proceeds to do so, then notices Fro is not among them*

A: Frodo? FroDO!

*Frodo is walking off*

Fro (wild eyed): I-I think I dropped the Ring when we fell down the well! Help me find it!!!!!

All: RRRAAAAHHHH!!!!

Fro: Oh, here it is, heh heh. I was just trying to lighten the mood...Oh never mind.
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Old 07-24-2003, 05:24 PM   #49
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(The fellowship is walking along)

Pippin: (singing) This is this song that never ends...

Merry: Where are we going?

Frodo: Deja vu.

Aragorn: We must reach the woods of Lothlorien.

Legolas: Sweet.

Gimli: WHAT?! I have to be holed up with some more stinkin' Elves! As if one isn't bad enough!

Pippin: ...And it goes on and on my friend....

Legolas: Stinking? Me?! Yikes! Where's my Herbal Essence Shampoo?!!! Help me find it quick!

Merry: (quickly transfers the empty shampoo bottle from his coat to Pippin's pocket)

Pippin:...Some people start a'singing it not knowing what it was....

Boromir: Will somebody shut him up?!?!?!

Legolas: (shrieking) WHERE'S MY SHAMPOO!!?!?!?!?!??

Pippin: .......And they'll continue singing it forever just because.....

Boromir: (chase after Pippin)

Aragorn: The joys of traveling.

(The fellowship is so busy fighting, singing, searching for shampoo, etc. that they fail to notice that they have reached the woods of Lothlorien until they find arrows in their faces.)

Haldir: You dudes are all so freaking loud that we could shoot you at night in a hail storm, blindfolded with earpluggs!

Gimli: *growls*

Legolas *sobs*

Aragorn: [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]

Pippin: Hey! He called me a dude!

Boromir: [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]

(The fellowship is on Haldir's flet)

Haldir: Ah, Aragorn! Long time no see dude!

(Aragorn and Haldir do the Parent Trap handshake)

Haldir: (To Legolas) Hey dude! You're from Mirkwood right?

Legolas: Yup

Haldir: Sweet!

Legolas: Totally! You don't have any Herbal Essence shampoo do you?

Haldir: Sorry dude! I'm afraid we've only got Biolage!

Legolas: Heathens!

Haldir: Now that was totally rude dude!

Frodo: Not really. Biolage isn't that great ya know.

Haldir: Now you dudes have totally ticked me off. So you go further over my dead rotting body!

Gimli: Can be arranged.

(Fellowship draws weapons)

Haldir: Riiiiiiight....You dudes will follow me.


Okay I'll stop now! I'm sure you're all sick of my nonsense. [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

[ July 24, 2003: Message edited by: Firondoiel ]
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Old 07-24-2003, 08:48 PM   #50
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Quote:
*Somehow Pippin appears on the other side anyway*
bahahahahhahaha! somehow I can imagine this dumb look on his face as he stands on the other side hahahhahahah- anyway...

Celeborn: (looking around) Good, all of you are here!
Galadriel: (elbowing him) Gandalf has fallen into shadow. (looks oddly happy)
The quest stands on the edge of a knife, stray but a little and you will fail to the ruin of all. So, you better keep an eye on that one *points to Pip who is picking the leaves of a Mallorn tree. Borrums picks him up and throws him, yet a second later he remains in his same spot with a dumb look on his face. Galadriel clears her throat.*
... Yet hope remains while company is true. *gives Borrums a death stare [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img]* Do not let your hearts be troubled go now and rest. *a voice in Frodo's head says "save the stuffed animals!" he looks confused.*
Sam(whispering) what is it Mr. Frodo?
Frodo: ....nothing sam
Gal: for you are weary with sorrow and much annoyancce *gives pip a death stare* Tonight you shall rest in peace *Haldir ties pip to a tree*
*All are back at their resting spot. Music by the spice girls is playing in the Background*
Leggy: A lament for my lost shampoo
Merry: what do they say about it?
Leggy: I have not the heart to tell you. For me the grief is still too near. ( [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img])

(he he. mine never make much sense! [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img] oh well)
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Old 07-29-2003, 01:47 PM   #51
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Sting

As soon as Frodo leaves, there is a piercing screech in the distance. Gally runs over to investigate, and finds her hubby on his knees in the dirt sobbing.

Gally: Sweetums, what is it?

Celly: Can't you see?

Gally: No, what?

Celly: They took my ELANOR!!!!! WAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!

Gally looks up and hears several elven voices singing in the distance...

We picked all his yellow elanor, yellow elanor, yellow elanor...
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Old 08-02-2003, 05:45 PM   #52
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Present giving Keremony: (
[img]smilies/evil.gif[/img] see you know your obsessed when...)
Gally: My gift to you Legolas is a bow of the Galadhrim.
*Leggy takes the cute-pink bow and ties it on his head*
Gally:Worthy of our woodland kin. These are the dagger of the Noldorin. *hands them to Merry and Pip. Pip acidently slices his finger open and bawls like a baby. ( [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] )*
Gally: Do not fear, young Peregrin Took. You may suffer more then just that. *Pip is not comforted*
Gally:And for you, Samwise Gamgee, Elven rope made of hithlain, a grain of dirt and a singing Pony.
Pony: I'm a littly pony, clippity clop, clippity clop. Such a pretty pony clippity clop, clippity clop. I love to have my cooooat brushed under the old Mallorn tree. I'll jump and run and have some fun when you come and play with me!
All:

[img]smilies/eek.gif[/img]
Sam: uh... thanks My Lady. What, no shiny daggers?
*Haldir throws one at sam narrowly missing his head*
Gally:And what gift would a Dwarf ask of the Elves?
Gimli:Nothing...Actually, there was one thing. No, no, I could'nt. It's quite impossible.Stupid to ask
Gally: go ahead
Gimli: Some french mineral water, some M&M's with all the brown ones picked out because brown is ugly, my pillow fluffed, some extra of those little shampoos and conditioners, a 6 AM wake up call and a swedish massage
Gally: Too bad here's some of my hair
Gimli: *grump* *grump*


hmmm.... Don't ask!

[ August 02, 2003: Message edited by: elfearz1 ]
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Old 08-02-2003, 06:24 PM   #53
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Tolkien

I'm new at this, so bear with me here. [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]

SAM: row row row your boat...
BOROMIR: SHUT UP sam!!
Legolas feels sea sick, and leans over the edge.
Gimli points out that his face matches his clothes. [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img]

meanwhile, behind the boats:

GOLLUM: row row row your log...

At the camp that night:

After recovering from his sickness, Legolas commences to throw pinecones at Gimli and chase him through the forest, not realising that its actually Pippin. After running out of pinecones Legolas returns to the camp and grabs all the remaining firewood, and runs away shrieking "How dare you insult my fair face!!!".

PIPPIN: I'm not Gimli!!
LEGGY: Yea right, you're too fat to be a hobbit!!

Boromir growls and goes off to get more firewood.
Frodo meanwhile, is climbing up the tallest tree in the forest in hopes of catching a squirrel for dinner.
He scrapes his hand on the bark, and squeels. Boromir looks up, grabs GImli's axe, and starts hacking madly at the tree. Gimli, meanwhile, sits on a log, watching Leggy chase Pippin, chuckling all the while. After a fit of chuckling, he mutters, "You stupid elf!". Leggy, with his elvish ears, hears GImli, and abandons Pippin, and starts chasing the REAL Gimli, who looks for his axe, and realising its gone, grabs a squirrel sitting calmy nearby.

Frodo, from the tree, sees the squirrel and falls out of the tree yelling, "DINNER!!". As he lands, he slips on the ring, and attempts to creep up on the squirrel. Boromir drops Gimli's axe, which then lands on his foot.
BOROMIR: AHHHHHHH!!!! STUPID HOBBIT!!!
Frodo sneaks away with the squirrel in hand.


That's all for now folks!! Hope you like it.
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Old 08-02-2003, 07:47 PM   #54
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Heehee. I'll try this too. Boromir madly chases after Frodo, trying to avenge his foot. ALong the way, he comes up with the idea to use the one ring as a TOE ring so that ihs toe can have all power and live forever. Frodo takes of the ring to eat his squirrel (yikes!). Meanwhile, back at camp, Merry is helping Pippin nurse his wounds from the pinecones, while Aragorn is boiling cabbage, while humming a song he made up about cabbage. Sam plugs his ears to plug out the vile noises. Legolas is still chasing Gimli, muttering about how he wants to wash his hair with the new Herbal Essence "Fruit FUssions".

Frodo has finished his squirrel "YUM!", and is unaware of the stalking toe-lover Boromir behind the tree beside Frodo.
BOROMIR: GIve it to us precious!!
FRODO: *gasp*
BOROMIR: My toe needs it Frodo, don't you understand!!??
FRODO: uhhh....your toe?!

thats all for now. toodles.
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Old 08-03-2003, 05:29 PM   #55
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I know its already past this, but I like the lembas scene, so...

Legolas shows the hobbits lembas

Legolas: *takes a bite, makes a face and spits it out* Gack! this doesn't taste like lembas! EEWWWW it's sooo gross!

Galadriel: *cries*

Celeborn: you probably got the salt and sugar mixed up again, it could happen to anyone.

Galadriel: *sniff* But I keep them in clearly marked containers since the last time!*sniff*

Several people: Pippin!

Pippin: It wasn't me! It was Aragorn, I saw him sneak into the kitchen!

Aragorn: Arwen told me to! It was her idea!
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Old 08-03-2003, 07:47 PM   #56
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Sting

Hmm...that makes us where now? So much that we have missed...

*At Orthanc*

Saruman (to a very muscly body-builder orc): Do you know how orcs were created?

LurtZ: Uhhh, no.

Saruman: They were elves once. Captured by the dark powers of red tape...forced to fill out miles of paperwork in dark rooms...tortured and mutilated. And now...perfected...adding machines of great power!

Lurtz: But that is highly illogical!

Saruman: Who do you serve?

Lurtz: No sir, it's whom do you serve.

Saruman: A-HEM!

Lurtz: Oh, uh...SARUMAN!

(Oh, I call dibs on the very last scene if we get to RotK, the Grey Havens and all that, if you would please.)

*The fellowship are continue boating the next day. Sam keeps hearing things over the singing of the pony and the arguing of Frodo and Boromir. He turns and sees a log bump into the last boat, which incidentally has Gimli and Leggy in it. It tips over.*

Gimli: Och! Stupid elf! Ye tipped the boat!

Leggy: I did no such thing! It was obviously your great girth that sunk us!

*Merry and Pippin are collapsed in the bottom of their boat laughing.*

Sam (muttering): Now that's funny...

Fro: It certainly is! Ha ha ha!

Sam: No, I think I see a log with eyes!

Fro (in a lowered voice): Hush! Speak not of it. Remember that line has been taken from you and given to one deemed more worthy of it!

Sam: Oh, right.

*That night, Boromir is collecting rocks for his "That's The Biggest Rock I've Ever Seen!" collection that he started in emmory of Gandalf who would often do that just to see Pippin carry more baggage.*

Aragorn (coming up from behind): It's Gollum.

Boromir: What? This rock?

Aragorn: No! Over there, on the water.

Boromir: Where, there?

Aragorn: No, there! The log with eyes!

Gollum: Row, row, row your logsss, gently down the streamssss, merrily merrily merrily merrily, life is great if I only had the Precioussss.....

Boromir: Sorry, I forgot my glasses.

Aragorn: I've been trying to catch him for hours already. But he's slimy, yech!

Sam (in a different part of camp): Mr. Frodo, you ought to eat something.

Fro: No, Sam. I'm not hungry.

Sam: But you haven't eaten in...*gasp! That Galadriel got to you, didn't she! Merry and Pippin and myself all got told that we were fat! She's turned you into an anorexic! I will save you!

Fro: No, really, I had a snack in the boat...

Sam: Hold on, sir, I'll save you!

Fro: No, mmrrfff!! *Sam starts stuffing food down his gullet*

*back at the rock*

Boromir: I think we should strike out to Minas Tirith from here.

Aragorn: Are you nuts? Wait, nevermind...

Boromir: Why don't you trust Men? You are quick enough to trust the, burarum! Hastyhandedpointyearedsuperclean elf beings. But there is courage, there is honor to be found in men! I personally have never heard of it, but I'm sure it exists.

Aragorn: Forget it. I know you. You just want to get back in time for the Disco Danceoff. If we did that, we would be delayed until too late! I'm not takin' you near that city, bub!

*The next day, back in the boats*

Pippin: Hey, Boromir, would you pass me the...

Borrums: *snap!* Grrrrowwwlll! *grump*

Pip: Yipe! Nevermind...

(Sorry for the length. Next scene, the Argonath.) Hey, what do you think about Boromir not dying, at least not at Amon Hen?
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Old 08-03-2003, 09:24 PM   #57
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Sting

*extremely dramatic music plays along with fancy camera zooming in action*
ARAGORN: The Argonath. Long have I desired to look upon the kings of AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHH!!!!
*one of their heads rolls off and lands right on top of him, sinking the boat*
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Old 08-03-2003, 10:19 PM   #58
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Sting

This has been wonderful, everybody! I think I'll take a stab at it. Feel free to... well... not laugh.

The company manages to get everyone out of the sunken boat.

Aragorn: We cross the lake at nightfall, hide
the boats and continue on foot..we
approach Mordor from the North.

Gimli: Oh yes? Oh, yes, just a simple matter of finding our way through Emyn Muil, an
impassable labyrinth of razor sharp
rocks. And after that gets even
bettea: a festering, stinking
marshland, far as the eye can see. AND what about second breakfast????

PJ: Cut, cut. Wrong page, John. You've been stumbling over your lines alot. Let's take a break for today and you can recover your strength

Gimli (John rhys-davies): Recover my-- Recover my STRENGTH? Pay no heed to that, young hobbits!

Legolas: We should leave now!

Aragorn: We must wait for cover of darkness.

Legolas: But orcs see even better in the dark then they do in the light!

Aragorn: mutters "damn insubordinate elf... he'll get whats coming to him"

Legolas: What was that?

Aragorn: What was what?

Legolas walks away, eyeing Aragorn suspiciously.
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Old 08-04-2003, 03:57 PM   #59
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Going on with Genevieve's post:

Boromir: my toe should live forever Frodo.
Frodo: No...I'm the only one who can take it, Gandalf said so.
Boromir: But we needs it, we do. We needs the precioussssss....

Frodo slpis on the ring, and runs away. Boromir begins to cry, babbling about his poor toe, and how bad he's been. Frodo runs into Aragon who is getting more cabage.

Aragorn: Ufffff! Hey watch wher your going....(looks around and doesn't see anybody) Hello? Frodo, are you playing with the ring again?

Frodo slips off the ring, and stares at Aragorn. Aragorn begins walking towards Frodo offering him cabage.
Frodo: Stay back! (draws Sting) I'm warning you!
Aragorn: You don't want cabage? (starts to cry)

Brain Lag! Latter!
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Old 08-04-2003, 06:33 PM   #60
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Since I started the politician theme, maybe I should do something more with the idea.

Frodo runs to the top of Amon Hen and sits in the Seat of Seeing. The camera zooms in on the Washington DC capitol building and then zooms in on the Senate hall where all the Politicians are gathered. Suddenly, a big flaming image of George W. Bush appears in front of Frodo. He screams, pulls of the Ring, and falls off the Seat onto the ground.
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Old 08-05-2003, 11:07 AM   #61
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Quote:
Suddenly, a big flaming image of George W. Bush appears in front of Frodo.
Now that would be scary!

Frodo runs away.

Aragorn: *thinks* maybe I can catch him if I go around this way! I'm sure he wants cabbage, I just surprised him, that's all. *walks around the corner and sees the orc army* Doh! *hits himself on the head with his sword*
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Old 08-05-2003, 04:17 PM   #62
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Frodo runs down the mountain untill suddenly he trips and rolls down into a circle of Orcs.

Frodo: AHHHHHHHH!

Orcs: AHHHHHHHHH!

Frodo: AH!

Orcs: AH!

Merry: AH!

Pippin: AH!

Frodo: Merry! Pippin! How will we escape?

Merry: What do you mean? These orcs are my old College buds.

Pippin: Ya, we were just having a drink untill you came in. Want to join us?

Frodo: I'd love to but the script says I have to heroicly go to Mordor on my own.

Pippin: Well that sucks. See you later then.

Frodo continues down to the boats gets in one and starts rowing across the river. Sam who was sleeping in the boat wakes up.

Sam: Huh? Where am I? What's going on?

Frodo: I'm going to Mordor and I guess you're coming with me.

Sam: What! No! *fights Frodo for the paddle and falls out of the boat* Frodo! Help! I'm drowing!

Frodo: Sam! Stand up!

Sam does so an it turns out he was in two inches of water.

Frodo: let's go.
[img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]
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Old 08-05-2003, 06:02 PM   #63
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LOL these are great! keep up the good work! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

Well, I'd guess the next scene is where Boromir dies protecting Merry and Pippin, but I am fresh out of ideas at the moment. BTW, could you save the warg attack in Rohan for me? I've got a funny idea for that.
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Old 08-05-2003, 11:32 PM   #64
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Sting

Well, time for the all famous death of Boromir (I'm going off of Rose Cotton's idea):

Borormir is still gathering wood when he walks up on the orc circle with Merry and Pippin in the middle.

BOROMIR: Merry! Pippin! I'll save you! (he draws his sword, and blows into the horn)

Merry:Wait! You have the wrong idea! These are just our buddies! This here is- (is cut off as the orcs jump inot battle)

Pippin: Hey! Can't we solve this over a few drinks? Well, maybe more than a few.

Meanwhile, Aragorn is buisy staring into space. Legolas is playing with is hair, and Gimli is the only one who hears it.

Gimli: Get up ye stupid Elf! That's the Horn of Gondor! (kicks Legolas)

Leggy: Hey! What was that for! I'm just looking at my poor split ends!

Aragorn: Horn of Gondor? no I though it sounded like (another blast is sounded) like that. Well, I guess it is. (sighs) and I was having a lovely day dream about Arwen...

Gimli and Legolas rolls their eyes, and they all head out in the sound of the horn.

Back at the Battle:

Lurtz: Merry! Pippin! We'll kill this pansie!

Boromir: Who you callin' a Pansie, Pansie!

They run at eachother and begin a cat fight. The other orcs cheer on as they slap and claw at eachother. Suddenly Lurtz screams.

Lurtz: Oh my God! You broke my nail.

Boromir: Well, sorry about that. I didn't mean to or anything.

Lutz draws his sword and hits Boromir over the head with the butt. Boromir falls to the ground.

Pippin: He's dead!

Lurtz: Nah, just stunded a bit. He'll wake up with some luck. Come on, I hear there's a great pub near these parts.

Merry: Great, but my foot's asleep. Could one of ya carry me?

Pippin: Yah, and me too?

Lurtz: Sure why not!

The orcs pick up the hobbits and run off yelling and singing drinking songs.

Legolas: I think I hear something.

Gimli: Like what?

Legolas: It sounds like hobbits in pain, yelling for help.

The group runs into a clearing, there in the middle is Boromir. Aragorn runs over.

Aragorn: Boromir! Boromir! Can you hear me?

Boromir: Yes, I can hear you. My head really hurts, and I can't see anything.

Leggy: he must be dying.

Boromir: What? I'm not dy-

Aragorn: Do not speak. Where are they?

Boromir: You just told me not to not(sighs)...They took them. The orcs took the little ones!

Leggy: Stupid human.

Boromir [img]smilies/frown.gif[/img]reaches for his sword) Why you little....

Aragorn picks up the sword, places it in Boromirs hand, and puts them on his chest.

Boromir: You think I'm dying? You fool, I'm fine, my head just hurts!

Aragorn: Yes, I will find the hobbits. Sleep now, my friend.

Boromuir: Sleep? Well, it does sound kinda nice. Mabe I'll just nap for now. (he lays his head back suddenly, but hits his head on a shield really hard, and goes limp)

Leggy: Then that is it, he is dead.

Gimli: Are you sure, it looks like he's breathing...

Aragorn: No, Legolas is right, the son of Gondor is dead.

Heh heh heh....feel free to add on!

Nehani
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Old 08-06-2003, 07:44 AM   #65
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Just so we dont miss any important bits, here is a script for y'all. Please read it, 'cos we are missing a few scenes I think.

LotR script
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Old 08-06-2003, 10:14 AM   #66
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EDIT: As of January 15th, 2007, I thought I'd go back and change this, as I don't particularly care for what happened earlier. I used this idea earlier as a movie blooper, or so I recall, but I thought it'd fit well here. The storyline isn't going to be altered a whole lot.

ARAGORN: Farewell, Boromir. I'm sorry you're dead.

LEGOLAS: He's still breathing.

ARAGORN: No he's not. Let the boat loose already!

GIMLI: Whatever you say.

LEGOLAS: But...

*the boat has been sent off*

ARAGORN: Let's get out of here, shall we?

GIMLI: Sure!

LEGOLAS: Um...

*they leave*

BOROMIR: What a splitting headache... Huh? Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh *sploosh*
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Old 08-06-2003, 11:45 AM   #67
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*Cut to Frodo and Sam wandering aimlessly about Emyn muil....*
Frodo: for some reason I feel like I've been here before...
flashback to Frodo and Gollum sitting on Emyn Muil getting insanely drunk and falling asleep in each others arms [img]smilies/eek.gif[/img]
Frodo: ahh yes...eh hem er...uh...Sam give me the map!
Sam: But Mr. Frodo... you used it for toilet paper about a day ago remember?
Frodo: er...Let's just have a nap then...
*While Sam and Frodo sleep peacefully Gollum watches them from above...*
Gollum: Niiiiicccce Hobbitses we wants to have them over for tea doesn't we? We doesn't even wantssss the prec- *slips and falls on Sam and Frodo, drawn out struggle ensues*
Gollum: We just *smack* wantsss *bif over head* some tea with *uppercut* the hobbitsesss
Frodo: Wait Sam... this might be tottally uncalled for...
Sam: [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img] But look at him squeal!

eh. I tried [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

[ August 06, 2003: Message edited by: Cinderella ]
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Old 08-06-2003, 04:05 PM   #68
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Note that I changed my last post because it screwed up the storyline too much. But I think the revised version is a lot funnier. So the next person can either do...

A) The next Frodo/Sam/Gollum scene
B) Merry, Pippin, and the Orcs
or
C) Aragorn/Legolas/Gimli hunting the Orcs.
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Old 08-07-2003, 04:19 PM   #69
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Sting

Are you doing the TTT script aswell? If so...then I have a request...now, I'm not good with requests...so please...read my mind or something...what do you mean you can't!?

Fine, fine.

If you're doing TTT too...could you please save the Grima/Eowyn scene for me ... please...
*Runs and hides*

Yours hiddenly

~Naurwen [img]smilies/redface.gif[/img]
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Old 08-07-2003, 10:50 PM   #70
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Here gose everything...

Merry and Pippin are being carried by the orcs and are handcoffed.

Merry: Whens breakfast?
Orc1:Whats breakfast?
Orc2:Ask the other haf-ling.
Pippin:Breakfast is what gives you the first birst of energy. When you wake up!
Orc1 and 2*Giving death stares at the orc leaders*:I thought that was coffe!
Merry and Pippin:-_- [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]
Merry: when can we stop?
Orc1:...
Pippin:I am hunry.
Orc2:...
Orc3:Shut the haf-lings up!!!
Pippin:Why?
Orc4:'Cause!
Merry:Whens breakfast?
*34hours later...*
Orc Leader:ROOOOHHHHHHHAAAN!!!!!!

~Le End~
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Old 08-14-2003, 10:32 AM   #71
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I think we skipped over a Frodo/Sam/Gollum scene back there, so here it is.
GOLLUM: It burns! It burns us It freezes! Nasty elves twisted it, curse them! Take it off us!!
FRODO: Sorry, dude, we're outta here.
*they go a few steps and are stopped by a man wearing a suit and carrying a briefcase*
SAM: Who are you?
LAWYER: I am Gollum's lawyer, and I am suing you for torturing my client with that rope.
FRODO: No! NOOOOOO! *unties Gollum*
LAWYER: That won't help. I'm still suing you. Unless you let Gollum take you to Mordor, and then feed you to a huge spider.
FRODO: Yes, yes, We'll do that! Anything but getting sued!
*the lawyer leaves*

Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli are running across the plains of Rohan.
ARAGORN: Their pace is quickened. They must have caught our scent.
*gives Gimli a death stare*
GIMLI: What? So what if I haven't had a shower for two weeks? I can't help smelling like all dwarves should!
ARAGORN: *picks up brooch* Not idly do the leaves of Lorien fall.
*they run on*
*Gimli rolls off a hill to the ground*
*he hits his head on a rock and faints*
LEGOLAS: Come, Gimli! We're gaining on them!
*no answer*
LEGOLAS: Gimli?
ARAGORN: No time to stop. Keep running!
*they leave Gimli behind*

Next scene is Saruman/Orcs/Dunlendings, followed by Eothain/Freda and their mother and then Theodred's death and Eomer being banished.
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Old 08-14-2003, 06:10 PM   #72
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Sting

Saruman/Orcs/Dunlendings/Inquisition Spoof

*For weeks, Saruman has tortured the Dunlenders with constant prases from the Spanish Inquisition, Nazi training books and the Viking Culture. Now they will follow his every command.


Saruman: The Horsemen are the enemy!
Dunlendings (Southern Hics): Yahhh Man!
Saruman: Together with my orcs, you will defeat them!
Dunlenders: Yah man, we're From the South!
Saruman: Burn Every Village!
Dunlendings: Hallelulia!
Saruman: Kill Them All!
Dunlendings! Yeah Brother!
Saruman: You will do this now, without complaint!

*The Nazi training takes action.

Dunlenders: Heil Hitler!

*The entire row snaps to attention and the famous salute is held indefinantly. Then suddenly, the Viking instinct takes over.

(Mean Looking Dunlender): Fresh Meat Boys!

Dunlenders! Fresh Meat! Fresh Meat! Fresh Meat! Fresh Meat!

*They run off with the orcs to kill the Horsement.
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Old 08-16-2003, 06:52 PM   #73
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Just for the record, the next scene is the Orcs and Dunlendings burning the Rohan village and Eothain and Freda riding off to Edoras. If somebody does that scene, I've got a good parody for the death of Theodred.
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Old 08-18-2003, 10:13 AM   #74
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Since apparently nobody else is going to do it, I'll parody the next scene.
*the Orcs and Dunlendings are burning the village*
WOMAN: Eothain! Get your sister and let's go!
*Eothain and Freda get on the horse and ride off*
WOMAN: Hey! Wait for me!
EOTHAIN: Sorry, mom! We're outta here!
WOMAN: *sigh* Kids these days...

Meanwhile, at Edoras...
(EDIT: As of January 2007, I've revised this, as I don't particularly like what was done here earlier.)
EOMER: Theodred! You're dying!
THEODRED: No, I'm not.
EOMER: It says you're dying right here in the script.
THEODRED: But I don't want to die.
PJ: Too bad. *pulls out knife and stabs Theodred*
THEODRED: Uuuuuughh...
The next scene is Eomer's banishment from Rohan.
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Old 08-18-2003, 03:20 PM   #75
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Eomer's banishment:

Eomer: My lord, we must do something about these orcs! Last night they ruined the vegetable garden, and the week before they graffitied the deeping wall itself! And that's not counting all the times your chariot was egged...

Theoden: (quietly) mmmf...

Grima: What are you doing here? Look, you've gotten mud on the royal rug! I just bought it last week! Carpets from the West Emmet coat factory aren't cheap!

Eowen: Like, zip it about the rugs.

Eomer: My lord, we must do something about the orcs. They are free to ruin your kingdom if you do nothing!

Grima: Get out! both of you! the king is tired, very tired.

Eomer: *continues pleading with theodoen.

Grima: Get out! *he jumps at eomer.

Eomer: *grabs Grima, pushes him across the room into the soup and the fire. Hot coals fill Grima's pants, and he performs a strange dance while guards drag Eomer outside. Thus, he is banished.

I forget what comes next...
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Old 08-18-2003, 03:36 PM   #76
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Two Towers Script

Merry & Pip W/ orcs at Fangorn should be next but some scenes were skipped I think... oh well

[ August 18, 2003: Message edited by: Cinderella ]
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Old 08-20-2003, 11:02 AM   #77
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Ok moving right along then...

Orc: We ain't goin' no further till we've had a breather.
Uglúk: Fine fine then... here's your inhalers, everyone nice and slow deep calming breath...very good!

Merry: I think, we might have made a mistake, leaving Kansas...erm... I mean the Shire...
Pippin: Right em....What's making that noise?
Merry: It's the trees Toto.
Pippin: *stares blankly with mouth open*
Merry: You remember the Old Forest back home in Colorado? The monkeys used to say that there was something in
the water that made the trees come alive.
Pippin: *blinks*
Merry: Trees that could play poker, dance, even the foxtrot!


*hangs head in shame* [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]
THe next scene is the orcs fighting about meat and Merry and Pip escaping .

[ August 20, 2003: Message edited by: Cinderella ]
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Old 08-21-2003, 10:33 AM   #78
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Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli are chasing the orcs. Aragorn listens to the ground.

Legolas: What is it? What do you hear?

Aragorn: SHHHH!!!

Legolas: *trys to listen to the ground* I don't hear anything.

Aragorn: Neither do I. I felt like taking a nap.

legolas:*kicks Aragorn*

Aragorn: owww...

Gimli comes running up behind, breathing hard.

Gimli: I...can't...breathe...*falls off a rock and rolls down a hill*

Quote:
(She slaps him)
He may have deserved that... [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img]

EDIT: oops, sorry

[ August 21, 2003: Message edited by: Elennar Starfire ]
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Old 08-21-2003, 11:43 AM   #79
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Ummmm, I already did the Aragorn/Legolas/Gimli chasing the Orcs scene. The next scene is where Aragorn and Co. meet up with Eomer's riders.
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Old 08-25-2003, 09:43 AM   #80
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(Aragorn, Gimli and Leggy hide behind a rock as the Riders come up.)

Aragorn: Little hey little ho!
Riders: Little hi little ho!
Eomer: What business have a man, a woman and a child in Rohan? Speak slowly, I have bad hearing.
Gimli: Child? Child? You have bad sight too. Do you wanna swap names, by any chance? Gimli gets a bit tiring after a while...
Eomer: I would cut off your head, Child, if I could find my sword. *squints*
Gimli: I am no child!!!
Leggy: And I no woman! *strings bow*
Aragorn: Let there be peace. I am Aragorn, and am Aragoing to find my friends who were abducted by alie- er, Orcs.
Eomer: Can you speak up please?

[ August 25, 2003: Message edited by: the guy who be short ]
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