Crazy Captions - Page 278 - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Gurthang · 07-01-2006, 08:55 AM

PJ and Saruman try their hand at the Cingular "More bars in more places" commercials but come up a few bars short.

Hookbill the Goomba · 07-01-2006, 11:12 AM

Neither Peter Jackson, the experienced film maker, nor Christopher Lee, the well renounced actor, could ever have expected to see Ian Macellan... crying over dropping his ice cream.

Formendacil · 07-01-2006, 02:13 PM

Here presented is a paparazzi shot from the Isengard Times of Saruman and his new international ally- the Dark Lord himself.

The Only Real Estel · 07-01-2006, 03:19 PM

PJ: "He's really all right, not too dangerous usually."

Tenant: "I don't care, sir. The contract you signed says 'no pets or wizards to be kept in the house' and that's what it means."

The Elf-warrior · 07-01-2006, 08:50 PM

PJ: "There's a good subject for you to test your fireball on."

The Only Real Estel · 07-01-2006, 09:10 PM

Saruman and Wormtongue look on crestfallen as their favorite team, Argentina, is knocked out of the World Cup.

-or-

Saruman and Wormtongue look on crestfallen as their favorite team, England, is knocked out of the World Cup.

-or-

Saruman and Wormtongue look on crestfallen as their favorite team, Brazil, is knocked out of the World Cup.

Gandalf_the _white · 07-02-2006, 01:10 AM

Although the sight was horrible neither PJ nor Saruman could look away from...

Gandalf uncloaked

Farael · 07-02-2006, 01:16 AM

PJ: Alright Chr... I mean, Mr. Lee, let's do this one more time... it's step, step, look to the right, turn, stop, moonwalk, look to the left, ok? it's not so hard...

Nilpaurion Felagund · 07-02-2006, 04:14 AM

Saruman: I say, is he supposed to do that?

PJ: I dunno, but he's good.

The Only Real Estel · 07-02-2006, 12:21 PM

"I'm sorry sir, but we're going to have to go with Christopher Lee on this one. He just looks more...Saruman-like I'd have to say."

PJ: "Well I do have the beard though."

THE Ka · 07-02-2006, 08:18 PM

Gandalf causes some smoldering problems on set...

PJ: He's doing it again, isn't he?

Saruman: ...Yes

PJ: If only we could have kept him away from that hobbit weed, we only have a limited amount for the limited amount of scenes the hobbits actually smoke!

Saruman: At least he's not in his uncloaking hype again...

PJ: True... True...

~ Aesthete

Boromir88 · 07-02-2006, 08:25 PM

Gandalf: Turn your head to the left.

(PJ and Saruman do so)

Gandalf: Oh, Simon didn't say!

OR...if anyone here is a Celebrity Death Match Fan.

Jackson: I want a good clean fight. Now, Let's get it on!

narfforc · 07-03-2006, 07:57 AM

Saruman punts his new friend around the flooded and water damaged Isengard, complaining bitterly about the clean up bill, and who is going to pay, and furthermore how he never got his feet wet when he was Count DracDooku

The Only Real Estel · 07-03-2006, 09:30 AM

PJ: "All right, if I hear one more person teasing Christopher about "not being able to get up the stairs in his dress" people are going to get fired."

Lee: *pouts*

The Elf-warrior · 07-03-2006, 04:49 PM

Troll: "Where there's a pot, there's a way."

Hookbill the Goomba · 07-04-2006, 12:42 AM

Gandalf was never helpful in the morning.

OR

Before they were famous: The Balrog of Moria.

Naria · 07-04-2006, 01:15 AM

The Orc picked Frodo up to get a closer look at his tattered boots, but was greatly surprised to see that they were not in fact boots, but the hobbit's very, very hairy feet!!

narfforc · 07-04-2006, 05:05 AM

Troll: Ere what are you?

Bilbo: I'm supposed to be a hobbit, however by the look of you the artist does'nt seem to have read the books

The Only Real Estel · 07-04-2006, 09:24 AM

Doctor: "Here's the newborn sir!"

William: "What? He doesn't look at all like me! ETHEL!!! Is there something you need to tell me!?"

dancing spawn of ungoliant · 07-04-2006, 12:58 PM

A sharp temper wasn't the only feature that made hobbits stay out of Aunt Lobelia's way...

Formendacil · 07-04-2006, 01:05 PM

TROLL: "And since when do Hobbits wear socks? And tattered socks, at that?"

BILBO: "Um... since about the same time that Trolls started looking like hornéd toads?"

Holbytlass · 07-05-2006, 04:30 AM

A Middle-Earth "pick me up".

mormegil · 07-05-2006, 06:49 AM

It was particularly dangerous to travel through the Misty Mountains as there were the wandering bands of wedgie orcs.

Orc: AHA! Got you! WEDGIE!!!

Hookbill the Goomba · 07-05-2006, 01:47 PM

This be my...

1000th Crazy Captions Post!
*****

Anyway...

Troll: Let's see... "Best before 145 II age"

OR

Troll: a package for a Mr. "Neckromancer-who-is-defiantly-not-the-Dark-Lord-Sauron-looking-for-his-lost-ring-of-power-with-which-he-could-take-over-the-world."

OR yet!

Troll: Hmmm... I'd say about 14 ounces. That'll be 59 pounds mate.

Kitanna · 07-05-2006, 01:50 PM

Bilbo's mother before she put her "face" on for the day.

Mithalwen · 07-05-2006, 01:59 PM

The troll midwife started to think she had smacked the wrong end...

Oddwen · 07-05-2006, 06:53 PM

Looks like someone took a smack at the midwife...

The Only Real Estel · 07-05-2006, 09:17 PM

An enraged German fan prepares to chuck a victorious Italian fan.*

-or-

An enraged Portugal fan prepares to chuck a victorious French fan.*

*No offense to either German or Portuguise fans, I'm sure you look nothing like that!

mormegil · 07-05-2006, 09:27 PM

In an alternate version of The Hobbit Tolkien toyed with the idea of creating Theagol older brother of Smeagol

Theagol: Alright enough riddles what do you have in your pockets?

THE Ka · 07-05-2006, 10:27 PM

Very early in his career, Sauron tried to cater to the parential needs of his orcs and other servants - Dark Tower Adoption Service, where hobbits were rare, but greatly desired for the holiday season...

Orc: Timothy! Oh Tim! Look, I've found a hobbit one! And it's feet are completely free of lice! Wow, what a bargain!...

~ Aesthete

Hookbill the Goomba · 07-06-2006, 03:32 AM

Troll: What about their heads? They don't need those!

OR

Troll: Who are you? Lobilia?

Bilbo:

The Only Real Estel · 07-06-2006, 06:33 PM

Troll: "So you're the wise guy that glued these turnips to my ears!!!"

The Elf-warrior · 07-06-2006, 07:05 PM

Williams: "This is Homio Sapiens Burrahobbitus."

Tom: "Come on! That ain't nothin' but a pint sized Homo Sapiens Sapiens."

Bert: "It's Homo Quendi Pygmyus you gourd-brain!"

Williams: "There ain't no such thing as Homo Quendi Pygmyus you lunkhead!"

Tom: "I'm hungry! Lets boil it!"

EDIT: Hooray! This is my 600th post.

Holbytlass · 07-07-2006, 04:38 AM

Bilbo instantly knew he had crossed the line with his "A Priest, A Rabbi and an Orc went into a bar..." joke.

The Only Real Estel · 07-07-2006, 09:28 AM

Britney Spears catches Bilbo in her makeup room...

Britney: "Now he must die, he knows what really lies underneath the several inches of plastic & makeup!"

Lalwendë · 07-07-2006, 01:23 PM

Bilbo's greatest peril on his adventures was getting assigned the posting of being John Prescott's new PA.

The Only Real Estel · 07-08-2006, 01:37 PM

The Troll/Orc didn't take very kindly to poor Bilbo's comments on his "Donald Trump-like hair"...

Hookbill the Goomba · 07-09-2006, 12:17 PM

Troll: What's it got in it's pockets?

Bilbo: It's just a new picture!

Pippin: Lets just walk away, maybe they won't find the-

*From behind the orcs* BOOM!

OR

Pippin: I told you to be careful with that Christmas reef thing. I'm not going to get it off you next time!

Glirdan · 07-09-2006, 12:20 PM

Pippin and Merry stare in stunned scilence as, not Gandalf uncloaks, but the Uruks!!

Kath · 07-09-2006, 12:33 PM

Merry: It was him that made that continuity error not me, why do I have to be the one with all this rope!?

07-01-2006, 08:55 AM	#11081
Gurthang Sword of Spirit Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Oh, I'm around. Posts: 1,507	PJ and Saruman try their hand at the Cingular "More bars in more places" commercials but come up a few bars short. __________________ I'm on a Mission from God.

07-01-2006, 11:12 AM	#11082
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 6,153	Neither Peter Jackson, the experienced film maker, nor Christopher Lee, the well renounced actor, could ever have expected to see Ian Macellan... crying over dropping his ice cream. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

07-01-2006, 02:13 PM	#11083
Formendacil Dead Serious Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Perched on Thangorodrim's towers. Posts: 3,347	Here presented is a paparazzi shot from the Isengard Times of Saruman and his new international ally- the Dark Lord himself. __________________ I prefer history, true or feigned.

07-01-2006, 08:50 PM	#11085
The Elf-warrior Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Virginia. Posts: 952	PJ: "There's a good subject for you to test your fireball on." __________________ Fenris Wolf: WW LXXX.

07-01-2006, 09:10 PM	#11086
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 3,025	World Cup anyone? Saruman and Wormtongue look on crestfallen as their favorite team, Argentina, is knocked out of the World Cup. -or- Saruman and Wormtongue look on crestfallen as their favorite team, England, is knocked out of the World Cup. -or- Saruman and Wormtongue look on crestfallen as their favorite team, Brazil, is knocked out of the World Cup.

07-01-2006, 03:19 PM	#11084
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 3,025	PJ: "He's really all right, not too dangerous usually." Tenant: "I don't care, sir. The contract you signed says 'no pets or wizards to be kept in the house' and that's what it means."

07-02-2006, 01:10 AM	#11087
Gandalf_the _white Wight Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: In crazy captions waving an angry fist at the outside world Posts: 155	It had to come sooner or later... Although the sight was horrible neither PJ nor Saruman could look away from... Gandalf uncloaked

07-02-2006, 01:16 AM	#11088
Farael Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: In hospitals, call rooms and (rarely) my apartment. Posts: 1,549	PJ: Alright Chr... I mean, Mr. Lee, let's do this one more time... it's step, step, look to the right, turn, stop, moonwalk, look to the left, ok? it's not so hard... __________________ I prepared Explosive Runes this morning.

07-02-2006, 04:14 AM	#11089
Nilpaurion Felagund Scion of The Faithful Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: The brink, where hope and despair are akin. [The Philippines] Posts: 5,430	Breakdancing Balrog. Saruman: I say, is he supposed to do that? PJ: I dunno, but he's good. __________________ フェンリス鴨 (Fenrisu Kamo) The plot, cut, defeated. I intend to copy this sig forever - so far so good...

07-02-2006, 12:21 PM	#11090
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 3,025	Casting "I'm sorry sir, but we're going to have to go with Christopher Lee on this one. He just looks more...Saruman-like I'd have to say." PJ: "Well I do have the beard though."

07-02-2006, 08:18 PM	#11091
THE Ka Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: As with the flygja Posts: 1,612	Gandalf causes some smoldering problems on set... PJ: He's doing it again, isn't he? Saruman: ...Yes PJ: If only we could have kept him away from that hobbit weed, we only have a limited amount for the limited amount of scenes the hobbits actually smoke! Saruman: At least he's not in his uncloaking hype again... PJ: True... True... ~ Aesthete __________________ Vinur, vinur skilur tú meg? Veitst tú ongan loyniveg? Hevur tú reikað líka sum eg, í endaleysu tokuni?

07-02-2006, 08:25 PM	#11092
Boromir88 Laconic Loreman Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: USA Posts: 7,559	Gandalf: Turn your head to the left. (PJ and Saruman do so) Gandalf: Oh, Simon didn't say! OR...if anyone here is a Celebrity Death Match Fan. Jackson: I want a good clean fight. Now, Let's get it on! __________________ Fenris Penguin

07-03-2006, 07:57 AM	#11093
narfforc Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Muddy-earth Posts: 1,307	Saruman punts his new friend around the flooded and water damaged Isengard, complaining bitterly about the clean up bill, and who is going to pay, and furthermore how he never got his feet wet when he was Count DracDooku __________________ [B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER.

07-03-2006, 09:30 AM	#11094
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 3,025	If you've seen the extended documentary stuff... PJ: "All right, if I hear one more person teasing Christopher about "not being able to get up the stairs in his dress" people are going to get fired." Lee: pouts

07-03-2006, 04:49 PM	#11095
The Elf-warrior Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Virginia. Posts: 952	Troll: "Where there's a pot, there's a way." __________________ Fenris Wolf: WW LXXX.

07-04-2006, 12:42 AM	#11096
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 6,153	Gandalf was never helpful in the morning. OR Before they were famous: The Balrog of Moria. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

07-04-2006, 01:15 AM	#11097
Naria Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 501	The Orc picked Frodo up to get a closer look at his tattered boots, but was greatly surprised to see that they were not in fact boots, but the hobbit's very, very hairy feet!! __________________ MONEY Anyone who says it doesn't buy happiness.....is probably broke. Last edited by Naria; 07-04-2006 at 01:24 AM.

07-04-2006, 05:05 AM	#11098
narfforc Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Muddy-earth Posts: 1,307	A Blurri-hobbit Troll: Ere what are you? Bilbo: I'm supposed to be a hobbit, however by the look of you the artist does'nt seem to have read the books __________________ [B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER.

07-04-2006, 09:24 AM	#11099
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 3,025	Desperate Trollwives??? Doctor: "Here's the newborn sir!" William: "What? He doesn't look at all like me! ETHEL!!! Is there something you need to tell me!?"

07-04-2006, 12:58 PM	#11100
dancing spawn of ungoliant Mischievous Candle Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: So near to Russia, so far from Japan, quite a long way from Cairo, lots of miles from Vietnam. Posts: 1,267	A sharp temper wasn't the only feature that made hobbits stay out of Aunt Lobelia's way... __________________ Fenris Wolf

07-04-2006, 01:05 PM	#11101
Formendacil Dead Serious Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Perched on Thangorodrim's towers. Posts: 3,347	Sort of based off Naria's... TROLL: "And since when do Hobbits wear socks? And tattered socks, at that?" BILBO: "Um... since about the same time that Trolls started looking like hornéd toads?" __________________ I prefer history, true or feigned.

07-05-2006, 04:30 AM	#11102
Holbytlass Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: May 2003 Location: The Party Tree Posts: 1,096	A Middle-Earth "pick me up". __________________ Holby is an actual flesh-and-blood person, right? Not, say a sock-puppet of Nilp’s, by any chance? ~Nerwen, WWCIII

07-05-2006, 06:49 AM	#11103
mormegil Maundering Mage Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Texas Posts: 4,679	It was particularly dangerous to travel through the Misty Mountains as there were the wandering bands of wedgie orcs. Orc: AHA! Got you! WEDGIE!!! __________________ When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators. -- P. J. O'Rourke Last edited by mormegil; 07-05-2006 at 09:29 PM.

07-05-2006, 01:47 PM	#11104
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 6,153	This be my... 1000th Crazy Captions Post! ***** Anyway... Troll: Let's see... "Best before 145 II age" OR Troll: a package for a Mr. "Neckromancer-who-is-defiantly-not-the-Dark-Lord-Sauron-looking-for-his-lost-ring-of-power-with-which-he-could-take-over-the-world." OR yet! Troll: Hmmm... I'd say about 14 ounces. That'll be 59 pounds mate. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

07-05-2006, 01:50 PM	#11105
Kitanna Child of the West Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Watching President Fillmore ride a unicorn Posts: 2,390	Bilbo's mother before she put her "face" on for the day. __________________ "Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry." - Mark Twain

07-05-2006, 01:59 PM	#11106
Mithalwen Pilgrim Soul Join Date: May 2004 Location: watching the wonga-wonga birds circle... Posts: 9,916	Picking up on TORE's post The troll midwife started to think she had smacked the wrong end... __________________ “But Finrod walks with Finarfin his father beneath the trees in Eldamar.” Christopher Tolkien, Requiescat in pace

07-05-2006, 06:53 PM	#11107
Oddwen Drummer in the Deep Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Next Sunday A.D. Posts: 2,246	Following TorE & Mith... Looks like someone took a smack at the midwife... __________________ But all the while I sit and think of times there were before I listen for returning feet and voices at the door

07-05-2006, 09:17 PM	#11108
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 3,025	And I predicted both games... An enraged German fan prepares to chuck a victorious Italian fan.* -or- An enraged Portugal fan prepares to chuck a victorious French fan.* *No offense to either German or Portuguise fans, I'm sure you look nothing like that!

07-05-2006, 09:27 PM	#11109
mormegil Maundering Mage Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Texas Posts: 4,679	In an alternate version of The Hobbit Tolkien toyed with the idea of creating Theagol older brother of Smeagol Theagol: Alright enough riddles what do you have in your pockets? __________________ When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators. -- P. J. O'Rourke

07-05-2006, 10:27 PM	#11110
THE Ka Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: As with the flygja Posts: 1,612	Very early in his career, Sauron tried to cater to the parential needs of his orcs and other servants - Dark Tower Adoption Service, where hobbits were rare, but greatly desired for the holiday season... Orc: Timothy! Oh Tim! Look, I've found a hobbit one! And it's feet are completely free of lice! Wow, what a bargain!... ~ Aesthete __________________ Vinur, vinur skilur tú meg? Veitst tú ongan loyniveg? Hevur tú reikað líka sum eg, í endaleysu tokuni?

07-06-2006, 03:32 AM	#11111
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 6,153	1001 Troll: What about their heads? They don't need those! OR Troll: Who are you? Lobilia? Bilbo: __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

07-06-2006, 06:33 PM	#11112
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 3,025	Troll: "So you're the wise guy that glued these turnips to my ears!!!"

07-06-2006, 07:05 PM	#11113
The Elf-warrior Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Virginia. Posts: 952	Troll scientists. Williams: "This is Homio Sapiens Burrahobbitus." Tom: "Come on! That ain't nothin' but a pint sized Homo Sapiens Sapiens." Bert: "It's Homo Quendi Pygmyus you gourd-brain!" Williams: "There ain't no such thing as Homo Quendi Pygmyus you lunkhead!" Tom: "I'm hungry! Lets boil it!" EDIT: Hooray! This is my 600th post. __________________ Fenris Wolf: WW LXXX.

07-07-2006, 04:38 AM	#11114
Holbytlass Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: May 2003 Location: The Party Tree Posts: 1,096	Bilbo instantly knew he had crossed the line with his "A Priest, A Rabbi and an Orc went into a bar..." joke. __________________ Holby is an actual flesh-and-blood person, right? Not, say a sock-puppet of Nilp’s, by any chance? ~Nerwen, WWCIII

07-07-2006, 09:28 AM	#11115
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 3,025	Britney Spears catches Bilbo in her makeup room... Britney: "Now he must die, he knows what really lies underneath the several inches of plastic & makeup!"