The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum


Visit The *EVEN NEWER* Barrow-Downs Photo Page

Go Back   The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum > The New Silmarillion > Translations from the Elvish - Public Forum
User Name
Password
Register FAQ Members List Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read


Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 08-29-2017, 03:39 PM   #1
Findegil
King's Writer
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,694
Findegil is a guest of Tom Bombadil.
3 Concerning Naugrim, Ents and Eagles

This is the first draft of the chapter 3 Concerning Naugrim, Ents and Eagles.

Our basis text is that of QS77 given on page 16-17. Were ever the text is different from that this is marked by an editing mark.

The markings are:
DE-SC-xx for Dwarves and Ents, Script, to document the backward development of the basic text, to the source text as given in HoME 11. I normally will not comment on this. The reasons for these changes should be easily found in HoME 11; part 2; chapter 13 and part 3; chapter IV

DE-EX-xx for Dwarves and Ents, Expansions

Some conventions of my writing:
Normal Text is from the basic text that is mentioned above (when I change the basic-Text it will be mentioned)
Bold Text = source information, comments and remarks
{example} = text that should be deleted
[example] = normalised text, normally only used for general changes
<source example> = additions with source information
example = text inserted for grammatical or metrical reason
/example/ = outline expansion
Normally if an inserted text includes the beginning of a new § these is indicated by a missing “>” at the end of the § and a missing “<” at the beginning of the next.

The title of the chapter might be explained best here: It is combination as is the chapter itself. The first part is documented as title of the replacement for the first part of the LQ 1 chapter 10, the second part is taken from the title given by Christhoper Tolkien to a appropriate chapter in HoME 11 documenting the text of Anaxartaron Onyalie.
Quote:
3 Concerning Naugrim, Ents and Eagles
DE-SC-01<[b]Concerning the Dwarves; HoME 11[B] Of Aulë and the Dwarves
Here are the words of Pengolod concerning the Naugrim
The Naugrim are not of the Elf-kind, ... that he was unwilling to await the fulfilment of the designs of Ilúvatar. DE-SC-02 <QS77 And Aulë made the Dwarves even as they still are, ... But fearing that the other Valar might blame his work, he DE-EX-01{wrought in secret: and he made first the Seven Fathers of the Dwarves in a hall under the mountains in Middle-earth.
Now Ilúvatar knew what was done, and in the very hour that Aulë's work was complete, and he was pleased, and began to instruct the Dwarves in the speech that he had devised for them, Ilúvatar spoke to him;}<Concerning the Dwarves; passage (b) {He} wrought in secret in a hall under the mountains in Middle-earth. There he made first one Dwarf, the eldest of all, and after he made six others, the fathers of their race; and then he began to make others again, like to them but of female kind to be their mates. But he wearied, and when he DE-EX-02{[}had{]} made six more he rested, and he returned to the seven fathers and he looked at them, and they looked at him, and whatever motion was in his thought that motion they performed. And Aulë was not pleased, but he began to teach them the language that he had designed for them, hoping thus to instruct them.
But Ilúvatar knew all that was done, and in the very hour that the Eldest Dwarf first spoke with tongue, Ilúvatar spoke to Aulë;> and Aulë heard his voice and was silent. And the voice of Ilúvatar said to him: 'Why hast thou done this? Why dost thou attempt a thing which thou knowest is beyond thy power and thy authority? For thou hast from me as a gift thy own being only, and no moreDE-EX-03<Letters; no. 212 {He had only one life, his own derived from the One}, and {could}thou can at most only distribute it>; and therefore the creatures of thy hand and mind can live only by that being, moving when thou thinkest to move them, and if thy thought be elsewhere, standing idle. DE-EX-04<Letters; no. 212 Though you have devised a language for them, they can only report to thee thine own thought. This is a mockery of me.> Is that thy desire?'
Then Aulë answered: ... Do with them what thou wilt. But should I not rather destroy the work of my presumption?'
Then Aulë took up a great hammer to smite the Dwarves; ... and they bowed down their heads and begged for mercy. DE-EX-05<Letters; no. 212 And as he withheld his stroke, astonished, he heard the laughter of Iluvatar. >And the voice of Ilúvatar said to Aulë: 'DE-EX-06<Letters; no. 212 Do you wonder at this? >Thy offer I accepted even as it was made. ... 'May Eru bless my work and amend it!'
But Ilúvatar spoke again and said: ... the children of my choice.'
DE-EX-07{Then Aulë took the Seven Fathers of the Dwarves, and laid them to rest in far-sundered places; and he returned to Valinor, and waited while the long years lengthened.} <Concerning the Dwarves; passage (e) Then Aulë took the Seven Dwarves and laid them to rest under stone in far-sundered places, and beside each he laid his mate, save only beside the Eldest, and he lay alone. And Aule returned to Valinor and waited long as best he might. But it is not known when Durin or his brethren first awoke, though some think that it was at the time of the departure of the Eldar over sea.>
Since they were to come in the days of the power of Melkor, Aulë made the Dwarves strong to endure. Therefore they are stone-hard, stubborn, fast in friendship and in enmity, and they suffer toil and hunger and hurt of body more hardily than all other speaking peoples; and they live long, far beyond the span of Men, yet not for ever. DE-EX-08<HoME 11; substitution to QS $5. The Naugrim were ever, ... wherefore their race multiplied slowly, and now is dwindling.
>DE-EX-09<Letters; no. 212 This is the Elvish legend of the making of the Dwarves{; but the Elves report that Iluvatar said thus also: ... Nonetheless there has been for the most part little love between the Dwarves and the children of Iluvatar}. And of the fate that Iluvatar has set upon the children of Aule beyond the Circles of the world Elves and men know nothing{, and if Dwarves know they do not speak of it}. >Aforetime it was held among the Elves in Middle-earth that dying the Dwarves returned to the earth and the stone of which they were made; yet that is not their own belief. For they say that Aulë the Maker, whom they call Mahal, cares for them, and gathers them to Mandos in halls set apart; and that he declared to their Fathers of old that Ilúvatar will hallow them and give them a place among the Children in the End. Then their part shall be to serve Aulë and to aid him in the remaking of Arda after the Last Battle. DE-EX-10<HoME 12; Last Writings The Dwarves add that at that time Aule gained them also this privilege that distinguished them from Elves and Men: that the spirit of each of the Fathers {(such as Durin) }should, at the end of the long span of life allotted to Dwarves, fall asleep, but then lie in a tomb of his own body,[Footnote to the text: The flesh of Dwarves is reported to have been far slower to decay or become corrupted than that of Men. (Elvish bodies robbed of their spirit quickly disintegrated and vanished.)] at rest, and there its weariness and any hurts that had befallen it should be amended. Then after long years he should arise and take up his kingship again{.}[Footnote to the text: What effect would this have on the succession? Probably this 'return' would only occur when by some chance or other the reigning king had no son. The Dwarves were very unprolific and this no doubt happened fairly often.DE-EX-11<HoME 12; Last Writings {... the}The reappearance, at long intervals, of the person of one of the Dwarf-fathers, in the lines of their kings {- e.g. especially Durin - }is not when examined probably one of rebirth, but of the preservation of the body of a former King {Durin (say) }to which at intervals his spirit would return. But the relations of the Dwarves to the Valar and especially to the Vala Aule are (as it seems) quite different from those of Elves and Men.]>{They say also that the Seven Fathers of the Dwarves return to live again in their own kin} and to bear once more their ancient names: of whom Dúrin was the most renowned in after ages, father of that kindred most friendly to the Elves, whose mansions were at Khazad-dűm.>DE-EX-12<HoME 12; Last Writings Of these Durins the Dwarves reported that they retained memory of their former lives as Kings, as real, and yet naturally as incomplete, as if they had been consecutive years of life in one person.[Footnote to the text: Yet it is said that their memories were clearer and fuller of the far-off days.]
How this could come to pass the Elves did not know; nor would the Dwarves tell them much more of the matter.[Footnote to the text: That the Elves ever came to know so much (though only at a time when the vigour of both their races was declining) is thought to be due to the strange and unique friendship which arose between Gimli and Legolas. Indeed most of the references to Dwarvish history in Elvish records are marked with 'so said Legolas'.]>DE-SC-03 <HoME 11
Anaxartaron Onyalie
Of the Ents and the Eagles
><QS77 Now when Aulë laboured in the making of the Dwarves he kept this work hidden from the other Valar; ... Many a tree shall feel the bite of their iron without pity.'
But Aulë answered: ... without respect or without gratitude.'
'Not unless Melkor darken their hearts,' said Yavanna. And she was not appeased, but grieved in heart, fearing what might be done upon Middle-earth in days to come. Therefore she went before Manwë, and she did not DE-SC-04 {betray}<HoME 11 bewray> the counsel of Aulë, but she said: 'King of Arda, is it true, as Aulë hath said to me, that the Children when they come shall have dominion over all the things of my labour, to do as they will therewith?'
'It is true,' ... the teaching of Aulë?'
Then Yavanna was silent ... be free from the dominion of others?'
'If thou hadst thy will ... thou hold dearest?'
'All have their worth,' said Yavanna, 'and each contributes to the worth of the others. But the kelvar DE-SC-05 <HoME 11 [Footnote: animals, all living things that move]> can flee or defend themselves, whereas the olvar that grow cannot. ... and punish those that wrong them!'
'This is a strange thought,' said Manwë.
'Yet it was in the Song,' said Yavanna. 'For while thou wert in the heavens and with Ulmo built the clouds and poured out the rains, I lifted up the branches of great trees to receive them, and some sang to Ilúvatar amid the wind and the rain DE-SC-06 <HoME 12 and the glitter of the Sun>.'
Then Manwë sat silent, ... and yet he saw that all was upheld by the hand of DE-SC-07{Ilúvatar}<Eru>; and the hand entered in, and from it came forth many wonders that had until then been hidden from him in the hearts of the Ainur.
Then Manwë awoke, ... and their just anger shall be feared. DE-SC-08 {For a time: while the Firstborn are in their power, and while the Secondborn are young.}’ But dost thou not now remember, ... the Eagles of the Lords of the West.'
Then Yavanna was glad, ... that the Eagles of the King may house therein!'
But Manwë rose also, ... as from the paths of the winds.
'Nay,' he said, ... But in the forests shall walk the Shepherds of the Trees.'
Then Manwë and Yavanna parted for that time, ... whose wrath they will arouse at their peril.'
'Nonetheless they will have need of wood,' said Aulë, and he went on with his smith-work.
DE-EX-01: Here I replaced a part of the text with an earlier passage. I know that this is risky, but I can not see why it should be better not mention the dwarf women here.
DE-EX-02: This was an expansion for grammatical reason done by Christopher Tolkien, which we should follow.
DE-EX-03: The draft for the Letter was contemporary to the text, but it adds some information missing from the text. In this case the possibility to ‘distribute once being’, which corresponds nicely to the ‘dispersion’ of Melkor.
DE-EX-04: I toke this up because it exemplifies that speaking does not mean that being has a ‘soul’.
DE-EX-05: Where if not here are we ever to hear the laughter of Eru?
DE-EX-06: This passage goes with the laughter I think.
DE-EX-07: Both the information about Durin being alone and of the elvish guess when the Dwarves awoke are want, from my point of view.
DE-EX-08: The info about the beards should not be lost.
DE-EX-09: I think that is a good way to introduce the false believe of the Elves and the Dwarvish believe of Mahal taking care of them.
DE-EX-10: Here I replaced a part of the text with a more sophisticated and probably later text.
DE-EX-11: To put this younger much short version into this footnote seems to be the best way to include the info it contains.
DE-EX-12: Both the info that the reanimated Kings did posses memories of their former lives and that all this info a marvel to the Elves and only was gained by the friendship of Legolas with Gimli I desire to give in our version.

Respectfully
Findegil

P.S.: I had to do the chapter all over again, since when I tried to find the sources of my original draft, I found other passages to be added. What as well came up was the fact that for the chapter 20 Of the Naugrim and the Edain not enough about the Naugrim is left. Some passages might be used, but I think we will place them rather in chapter 17 Of BEleriand and it's Realms.

P.P.S.: Please do not expact that I follow up with the next drafts in the same frequency. I put up chapter 1, 2 and 3 get the bridge to the already posted draft of chapter 4.
Findegil is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-29-2017, 07:25 PM   #2
ArcusCalion
Quentingolmo
 
ArcusCalion's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 525
ArcusCalion has just left Hobbiton.
Silmaril Thoughts

I loved all your additions, and the Legolas thing adds a very nice Bilbo-ish dimension to everything. I had only a few comments.

DE-EX-10: I had a question.
Quote:
DE-EX-10<HoME 12; Last Writings The Dwarves add that at that time Aulë gained them also this privilege that distinguished them from Elves and Men: that the spirit of each of the Fathers {(such as Durin) }should,
Why is (such as Durin) removed? also in DE-EX-11.

DE-EX-11: There is a minor grammatical issue that arises out of combining different sources.
Quote:
Then after long years he should arise and take up his kingship again [.....] and to bear once more their ancient names: of whom Durin was the most renowned in after ages, father of that kindred most friendly to the Elves, whose mansions were at Khazad-dűm.
The italicized words should be changed to "his" and "name" respectively.

That was it!
ArcusCalion is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-29-2017, 11:20 PM   #3
ArcusCalion
Quentingolmo
 
ArcusCalion's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 525
ArcusCalion has just left Hobbiton.
I actually noticed one more issue. If much of this lore is said to come from Legolas, then how can these be "the words of Pengolodh." I would say the Pengolodh subheading should be removed, since the Legolas bit is later, but that is a matter of debate.
ArcusCalion is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-30-2017, 02:56 PM   #4
Findegil
King's Writer
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,694
Findegil is a guest of Tom Bombadil.
DE-EX-10 and DE-EX-11: I had some doubts about the naming of Durin here, but I am open to retake the mentionings of Durin. I would only remove the last:
Quote:
... but of the preservation of the body of a former King {Durin (say) }to which at intervals his spirit would return. ...
Here I think we should be more general.

DE-EX-11: gramatical issue: Agreed.

The Legolas/Pengolod issue: Our text is an amalgament of diffrent texts, so I wouldn't say it is a problem.

Respecfully
Findegil
Findegil is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-30-2017, 03:01 PM   #5
ArcusCalion
Quentingolmo
 
ArcusCalion's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 525
ArcusCalion has just left Hobbiton.
awesome, looks good!
ArcusCalion is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-04-2017, 11:12 PM   #6
Findegil
King's Writer
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,694
Findegil is a guest of Tom Bombadil.
I have forgotten to add one important bit from Of Dwarves and Men:
Quote:
<Concerning the Dwarves; passage (e) Then Aulë took the Seven Dwarves and laid them to rest under stone in far-sundered places, and beside each he laid his mate, save only beside the Eldest, and he lay alone. And Aule returned to Valinor and waited long as best he might. But it is not known when Durin or his brethren first awoke, though some think that it was at the time of the departure of the Eldar over sea.>
DE-EX-07.2<Of Dwarves and Men, HoME 12 In the Dwarvish traditions of the Third Age the names of the places where each of the Seven Ancestors had 'awakened' were remembered; but only two of them were known to Elves and Men of the West: the most westerly, the awakening place of the ancestors of the Firebeards and the Broadbeams; and that of the ancestor of the Longbeards,[Footnote to the text: He alone had no companions. DE-EX-07.3{; cf. 'he slept alone' (III.352). [The reference is to the beginning of Appendix A, III. The passage in the text is difficult to interpret. My father refers here to four places of awakening of the Seven Ancestors of the Dwarves: those of 'the ancestors of the Firebeards and the Broadbeams', 'the ancestor of the Longbeards', 'the Ironfists and Stiffbeards', and 'the Blacklocks and Stonefoots'. (None of these names of the other six kindreds of the Dwarves has ever been given before. Since the ancestors of the Firebeards and the Broadbeams awoke in the Ered Lindon, these kindreds must be presumed to be the Dwarves of Nogrod and Belegost.) It seems that he was here referring to Durin's having 'slept alone' in contrast to the other kindreds, whose Fathers were laid to sleep in pairs. If this is so, it is a different conception from that cited in XI.213, where Iluvatar 'commanded Aule to lay the fathers of the Dwarves severally in deep places, each with his mate, save Durin the eldest who had none.' On the subject of the 'mates' of the Fathers of the Dwarves see XI.211-13. - In the margin of the typescript my father wrote later (against the present note): '}He wandered widely after awakening: his people were Dwarves that joined him from other kindreds west and east.{'; and at the head of the page he suggested that the legend of the Making of the Dwarves should be altered (indeed very radically altered) to a form in which other Dwarves were laid to sleep near to the Fathers.]}] the eldest in making and awakening. The first had been in the north of the Ered Lindon, the great eastern wall of Beleriand, of which the Blue Mountains of the Second and later ages were the remnant; the second had been Mount Gundabad (in origin a Khuzdul name), which was therefore revered by the Dwarves, DE-EX-07.4{and its occupation in the Third Age by the Orks of Sauron was one of the chief reasons for their great hatred of the Orks.[Footnote to the text: [In the rejected conclusion of note 21 the place of the awakening of the ancestor of the Longbeards was 'a valley in the Ered Mithrin' (the Grey Mountains in the far North). There has of course been no previous reference to this ancient significance of Mount Gundabad. That mountain originally appeared in the chapter The Clouds Burst in The Hobbit, where it is told that the Goblins 'marched and gathered by hill and valley, going ever by tunnel or under dark, until around and beneath the great mountain Gundabad of the North, where was their capital, a vast host was assembled'; and it is shown on the map of Wilderland in The Hobbit as a great isolated mass at the northern end of the Misty Mountains where the Grey Mountains drew towards them. In The Lord of the Rings, Appendix A (III), Gundabad appears in the account of the War of the Dwarves and Orcs late in the Third Age, where the Dwarves 'assailed and sacked one by one all the strongholds of the Orcs that they could [find] from Gundabad to the Gladden' (the word 'find' was erroneously dropped in the Second Edition).]]} The other two places were eastward, at distances as great or greater than that between the Blue Mountains and Gundabad: the arising of the Ironfists and Stiffbeards, and that of the Blacklocks and Stonefoots. Though these four points were far sundered the Dwarves of different kindreds were in communication, and in the early ages often held assemblies of delegates at Mount Gundabad. In times of great need even the most distant would send help to any of their peopleDE-EX-07.5{; as was the case in the great War against the Orks (Third Age 2793 to 2799)}. Though they were loth to migrate and make permanent dwellings or 'mansions' far from their original homes, except under great pressure from enemies or after some catastropheDE-EX-07.6{ such as the ruin of Beleriand}, they were great and hardy travellers and skilled road-makers; also, all the kindreds shared a common language.[Footnote to the text: According to their legends their begetter, Aule the Vala, had made this for them and had taught it to the Seven Fathers before they were laid to sleep until the time for their awakening should come. After their awakening this language (as all languages and all other things in Arda) changed in time, and divergently in the mansions that were far-sundered. But the change was so slow and the divergence so small that even in the Third Age converse between all Dwarves in their own tongue was easy. As they said, the change in Khuzdul as compared with the tongue of the Elves, and still more with those of Men, was 'like the weathering of hard rock compared with the melting of snow.']>
Since they were to come in the days of the power of Melkor, Aulë made the Dwarves strong to endure. Therefore they are stone-hard, stubborn, fast in friendship and in enmity, and they suffer toil and hunger and hurt of body more hardily than all other speaking peoples; and they live long, far beyond the span of Men, yet not for ever. DE-EX-08<HoME 11; substitution to QS $5. The Naugrim were ever, as they still remain, ...
Porbably we also should do something with the informtion from the footnote that 'other Dwarves were laid to sleep near to the Fathers'. But I hesitate about that in the moment.

Respectfully
Findegil
Findegil is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 04:46 AM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.9 Beta 4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.