ME Poetry, a feeble attempt

[Galadel Vinorel]

Yeah, I wouldn't mind, and I'm sure that no one else would be if the stories/ poems were published, as long as you gave credit to each of the writers.

[Gorothlammothiel]

Of course the poets would get the credit that they deserve. [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img] Anyone who would like to have their poems put it another forum post here and when we have a collection we can begin a new thread?

[Galadel Vinorel]

You can use the poem that I posted, you know, the one called "Elssar". If you need any help with what you are doing, just ask. I'll be happy to help. See ya around!! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/cool.gif[/img]

[Starbreeze]

I don't mind mine being used, this should be great, how are we going to get it all sorted out?

[Gorothlammothiel]

To be honest I am not sure on that Starbreeze. We ourselves could start another thread but I don't think it would work. Do you think perhaps there is any chance that Mr Barrow-Wight might take control and create a poetry thread/section? It may have a little more effect and success that way.

[Galadel Vinorel]

YAH!! That might work!! Why don't you ask him? [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]

[Gorothlammothiel]

I think I shall, but what to say? Any ideas?input? I could send an e-mail with comments from others, show opinion etc..

[Galadel Vinorel]

My comments to send to Mr, Underhill-

I think that it would be nice to start a Poetry Forum. There people could post their poems and get and give advice on how to write poems. It would show a good, creative side to Barrowdowns, and would be a place where we could put all of the poems that everyone seems to be so eager to share on this site.

~~~~

I hope that he considers letting us do it. Good luck to you and your worthy cause, Gorolthlammothiel!! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

[Samwise]

Wow, Galadel Vinorel, great! Hope all goes well!
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"I should make nothing of it but a log and the dusk and sleep in your eyes, Sam." said Frodo.

[Starbreeze]

Wow Galadel, I could not say it better. I have nothing to add, save that I belong to other forums with Poetry sections (often with fanfic merged in) and they always add spirit and creativity and give members a chance to step into a world where their poetry is taken on face value rather than who they are.

[Jeli Baggins]

ok here's mine, i may b a hobbit, but i'm fasinated w/ elves and dwarfs and humans and yah noe, get all nervous around them, the usual. (really i do, that's the scary part) [img]smilies/eek.gif[/img]

The Mines of Moria once filled with a great light
The dwarves thrusting hammers with all of thier might
Still greed came over all of thier mind
And they came upon a perilous find

A distant boom was heard in the dark
The dwarves of old had made thier last mark
Weapons and axes the dwarves did not lack
As the orcs came upon then and made thier attack

The once distant boom was growing near
And even the orcs looked up in fear
They all knew that they would be dead
And ere long the orcs had fled

The merciless shadow blocked all light
When one of the dwarves started to write
"We cannot get out, we cannot get out"
And of this saying there was no doubt

haha this is the 1st and only poem i've wrote about my homeland, ME, hope u guys liked it! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

[Starbreeze]

Wow! Jeli (cool name!), that poem is so good - the rhythm and the rhyme just seem so right! And I love the way the momentum of the poem bulids up as you read it! Oh, and I love the inclusion of the "we cannot get out" bit! Great - you must write more! Prehaps a little poem about the istari prehaps? [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

[Gorothlammothiel]

I too would like to congratulate you Jeli (nice name) [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img], for a first attempt 'tis very good. Do write more, you are very talented...

(I'm working on the e-mail which hasn't been sent yet, although I am going on holiday in a few days so I may leave it until I get back, if that is okay with everyone).

[Jeli Baggins]

thx everyone 4 enjoying it, and don't worry i will rite more.... after this summer reading and all those hard courses in high school.... [img]smilies/frown.gif[/img] [img]smilies/eek.gif[/img]

You guys are so good at poetry! I liked all of the poems posted here but especially the one entitled, "We Will Meet" (I forgot the author...sorry).
I want to go write my own poetry now but before I do, here's one I wrote last month.

The Lay of Undómiel
Long ago in ages past
Ere the immortals sailed away.
Silver light the moon did cast
On Imladris glistening.
The Evenstar dwelt therein
Fairest of them all.
For in her the blood of Luthien
Was ever flowing.


In the twilight of the trees,
There came Aragorn.
Of him many tales were told of deeds
Dark and harrowing.
Sighting a maiden from afar,
He halted gazing.
For before him was the Evenstar
Her raiment glimmering.


He called to her ‘Tinuviel!'
Fearing she would flee.
And he felt as if under spell
Of the maiden smiling.
‘Her name does not belong to me,
But perhaps her doom.'
Then Elven-light he did see
In her eyes twinkling.


In golden Lórien the fair,
Upon Cerin Amroth.
A loving troth they would share,
Forever binding.
In the city of the Kings
On Midsummer's day.
The Elven minstrels did gladly sing
Of their rejoicing.


Now many years did come and fade
In a fearless world.
Ere Aragorn chose to be laid
In endless slumbering.
Evenstar bade farewell
To her loving people.
In silent Lórien she fell
Amongst elanor withering.
------------------------

I tried to write it like The Lay of Luthien in FotR but when I finished I realized that the fourth and eighth line were suppose to rhyme. Oh well.

[ August 26, 2002: Message edited by: Erendis ]

[Starbreeze]

Erendis, I love your poem - it is somewhat different in style to the others in this thread and that makes it stand out.

[the guy who be short]

After consulting Gorothlammothiel I have decided to revive this thread. Here's a poem:

Lightly fall the leaves in Lorien
Lighter than they fall in mortal realms
Lightly fall the leaves
Yet heavy are the griefs
For all the elves have left Lothlorien.

Heavy fall the tears for Lorien
Deep are the woes of mortal men
For Queen and King have left
The land is now bereft
And all the elves have left Lothlorien.

Empty stand the woods of Lorien
Forgotten is it's lore by mortal men
But at Cerin Amroth at the last
Lies memory of the past
The green mound of fair Arwen.

[Elennar Starfire]

Guy who be short, that is so good! I almost cried reading it. *sniffles*

Here's mine:

Teeth and eggses, fish and time,
Answers to riddles asked in rhyme,
A promise broken, an underground chase,
Escape through a door left only one trace,
Buttons scattered on the ground.
Then running away without making a sound,
A surprise for companions then traveling on,
Onward till the light was gone,
To find the Lonely Mountain tall,
Where dragon slept in hidden hall,
There lay the mighty dragon Smaug,
Looking like a flying frog.
A stolen cup Smaug's wrath awoke,
and part of the mountain went up in smoke...

That's as far as I've gotten, and I need to add more that I left out. My friend came up with the flying frog bit.

[ August 05, 2003: Message edited by: Elennar Starfire ]

[Orominuialwen]

I'm so happy this thread has been resurected! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] I just discovered it and was getting very worried because all the posting dates were so old that I thought it'd been totally abandoned. I have a total inability to write rhyming poems, but I do haikus. The BD haiku contest inspired me to start writing, but i discovered the site too late to enter. I'll post my poems as soon as I consult my little brother who is a fellow Tolkien fan and my literary critic.(I won't post anything he doesn't think is good enough to put up, so you should be spared the worst)
Namarië!

[Samwise]

I do write poetry, but I fear I haven't in a while. ;p I think my "The Gardener" is somewhere in this thread, but I won't repost it and bore you folks, so...

Two friends alone in the dark
grasping each other's hands
"Mr. Frodo, where are you?"

Searching through the gloom and stench
grabbed by foul enemy!
A struggle for is own life

But my own does not matter!
"Frodo, where are you?"
Blood then does grow icy cold

A foul beast with evil eyes
a battle powered by rage
Die, horrid cat of Sauron!

All then is silent
He speaks, but there's no answer.
A stout heart then breaks.

I will do it alone, then
How can I go on?
I'll be back for you, I swear

If I do come back...

(c)2003 Stacey Uffelman

...there. Bored you with that instead! Forgive me for blithering, just trying to get my juices flowing again.....
[img]smilies/frown.gif[/img] [img]smilies/redface.gif[/img] [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

"looking like a flying frog"

[img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] Very amusing. Good poem too.

-The Guy Who Be Short: that poem about Lorien almost made me cry. Beautiful work.

Here's some of my own stuff. The first is a riddle, actually. The answer is Bilbo.:

Like a bee my subject is
With humour quite distorted
And although struck by lightening once
His enemies he's thwarted
Son of a drug
Hair like a rug
His madness was barely aborted

This was done one night when I was really ticked at my brothers and I was trying to zone out so I didn't have to hear them. I named it Of the Nazgul

Pitch dark shadows on a field
Of glowing orbs of endless light.
Grown men frozen, terror wielded
By a horror of the night.
Weapons: breath of blackness, fear;
Puppets on the Darks Lord's strings.
Our souls are evil, purpose clear
Death delayed by Sauron's rings.
Wounds from us can not be healed.
To resist, a hopeless fight.
Our winged steeds in circles wheeled
Searching from astounding height.
We've roamed and served, for many years
We are your long forgotten kings.
In nightmares now, we're ever near.
And who we are: Wraiths on Wings.

I won't even include the third one I wrote, because the only connection to LOTR is that it was inspired (vaguely) by the Seven Dwarf Lords. If anyone really wants to read it, PM me.

Fea

[Naurwen_of_Lothlorien]

Alright...I'll give it a go...
I had a character in mind when I started this and I got kind of carried away so it probably bares no resembalence...anyway, see if you can guess who the character is...and who they are speaking about...

Twisted Love


You see the darkness in my eyes,
But do you see the light?
It’s shining dimly, so dimly,
You’re love could rekindle the dying flame,
You’re beauty astounds me,
Shining from your eyes,


Can you see into my soul, I ask you?
Please hear my words,
You could be mine, if I were yours,
To have you in my arms, such thoughts haunt me,
These images in my dark and twisted mind,
The desires that control me, please, please see me,


Oh, the feelings I have for you,
Tearing up my mind, my soul,
The most beautiful pain imaginable,
You’re an icy rose; it’s petals frozen,
Cold and breathtaking, how I want to touch you,
How I want to tell you these things I feel,

Please don’t flinch at my cold touch,
Don’t walk away from me again,
Oh why, oh why, I try so hard,
Bewitched by you, I’m yours I swear!
Just be mine, now and for eternity,
Embrace me and love me.

Forbidden I know, but I care not!
You’re hatred of me kills me inside,
But no, I’m already dead…
I implore you, take my hand!
And bring the life back into me,
Despise me no longer, worship me I beg!

It’s twisted love, I know it is,
Return my twisted love, I plead!
Revive my soul and pity me,
Fall into my loving arms,
Trust my words, for they are true,
forbidden love, I yearn for you…


I know, it was terrible....well I tried :-)

Yours terribly

~Naurwen [img]smilies/redface.gif[/img] [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]

[Tinuviel of Denton]

Wow, I'm glad I stumbled onto this thread. I have some, but not handy. I'll have to go dig them out of the mess that is my journal.

Moth, from the signature on your poem, am I correct in guessing that you are a guy? (I never have quite been able to tell. *blushes*) I know that post was a long time ago, but I had to ask.

[ August 07, 2003: Message edited by: Tinuviel of Denton ]

[Sapphire_Flame]

OMG Naurwen, that was so good!!! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] At the beginning I kind of thought it was Gollum talking, but as I went on it sounded more like Wormtongue talking about/to Eowyn. Am I right? *crosses fingers* But no matter. That is such a brilliant poem!

Now a detour; I have a poem of my own I'd like to post...

Vanya Syl (Fair Winds)

"Weathered pines
Standing tall amid a rubble of boulders.
Wind whistles mournfully through
Dry branches
The sky is grey,
Forshadowing a coming trouble.
A single mountain looms,
A dark sentinal over an open plain.
The wind shrieks over bare stones;
Fire licks over the horizon
Nearing the peak.
The golden-red beast, wings urging the fire,
Eyes glow with the thought
Of the gold hidden in the mountain.
Sending tongues of flame down the slopes,
He alights on the pinnacle:
A fiery point in a black cloud,
Gloating silently over his new domain.
The dragon has come."

(c)2002 Sarah Hansen

Abedithon le,

~*~Aranel~*~

[ August 07, 2003: Message edited by: Sapphire_Flame ]

[Naurwen_of_Lothlorien]

Correct!!
The poem was about Grima talking to/about Eowyn. I'm so glad you liked it. You're words made me blush with joy ^-^
And your own poem! What wonderful descriptions!! It seems that every 'downer is a poet!

Yours always

~Naurwen

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Sapphire-Flame: my congratulations on a poem well-done. The imagery is beautiful... I felt like I was right there when I was reading it, seeing it all for myself.

And I think the reason that we're all decent to amazing poets is that we all appreciate beautiful literature ( [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] ), and are able to see... hm... lost my train of thought. Anyway, we do all seem to be pretty good at this!

Fea

[Sapphire_Flame]

*bows* Thank 'ee much. [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

Abedithon le,

~*~Aranel~*~

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

I was very glad to find this thread, and heartened to see some very good poems here. Originally I wrote the lines that follow for the 'alliterative verse' thread, but the rules of that game are not those of the genuine Old-English alliterative style, such as can be seen in Tolkien's Lay of the Children of Húrin or real Anglo-Saxon verse, such as Beowulf or The Dream of the Rood.

Having spent hours on these two stanzas, it is clear to me that this ancient and very strict form is not for the faint-hearted.

Blessed Eärendil, boldest and brightest
Of mariners mighty in minstrelsy meshed,
Stirred with his speech the slumbering sword-arms
Of the host of the West, that withering wind
That Melkor the mighty, Morgoth the mirth-slayer
Threw from his throne as on malice he thought.

The crown of the cruel one now clasps as a collar
The neck of the Noldor's night-cloaked foe
By Valinor vanquished when victor he thought him
Of the wars of the Wide Lands, now sunk 'neath the sea
And sky-bound Eärendil sails on the star-sea
With bane-meshed Silmaril bound on his brow

Admittedly it's not up to Tolkien's standard, but I couldn't let it moulder away on a couple of pieces of note-paper. For more information on the meter and the fall of the alliterative syllables, I can give no better reference than Tolkien's essay 'On Translating Beowulf', in which those aspects of that poem are discussed in detail.

[Estelyn Telcontar]

To Squatter: not squandered * * * the excellent effort,
The work of the wordsmith; * * * I thank for your thought.
Your following the footsteps * * * of towering Tolkien
Just shows us how shining * * * his brightness does blaze.

[ August 17, 2003: Message edited by: Estelyn Telcontar ]

[Sapphire_Flame]

Mae carnen, mellon nin! *profuse applause for Squatter of Amon Rûdh*

Abedithon le,

~*~Aranel~*~

[the guy who be short]

My knowledge of Elvish is limited, so this may be flawed:

A! Aulë venësamno,
Árë ar isilmë anto,
Noldondil ar minyatano,
Aina Ainu Aiyalmë le.

Literal translation:
A! Aulë vessel-maker,
Sunlight and moonlight giver,
Noldo-friend and first-smith,
Holy Ainu, we hail you.

[Måns]

I must say that I am indeed impressed by the poetry that has been written hereand am glad to have been allowed to read it, thanks to all our excellent poets. This might not rhyme very well, nor be very Middle Earth topic, but I hope you all will be satisfied with this "Out-of-the-back-of-my-head" translation of something that should really have been posted in Swedish.

Emma, yet have I only seen you briefly, like ma far away vision of a higher beauty. Like a mountain, seen from afar by the tired wanderer who inspired by the marvellous sight of it is filled with renewed strength and joy, but when the vision ahs been taken away from him after but a short time, he is obsessed by it, ever seeking to once again look upon hte great glory that he once saw. The memory of the bauty he saw is driving him on, driving him mad, forever he struggles to see it once again, if not succesful dieing in the attempt. To see you today, it was such an undescribable glory that I cannot say with any tongue what love and courage I was filled with, I unworthy. Now, no work is hard or wearying, if it is your wish, I will do it for you, hastily and with joy for you are my Empress. With beauty and wiseness you are gifted in excess, none can compete with you, but that is to all clear, I think. You are the foremost of all, and I unworthy belong to you forver, oh Emma!

Emma, ännu har jag endast skådat dig flyktigt, som en vision av en fjärran och högre skönhet. Du är för mig som ett berg, hastigt skymtat i fjärran av den trötte vandraren som av lycka och längtan fylls med nya krafter, men när det alltför snart ryckts iväg från honom så söker han det tills han unnats att bese det igen eller stupat. Minnet av skönheten han en gång skådat finns för alltid etsat i honom, det driver honom vidare, alltid strävar den arme efter att åter få skåda dess underbara skönhet. Att se dig idag, så skön men också så flyktig gav mig styrkan att uthärda den olycklige Konung Phineus outhärdliga kval, genomföra Sisyfos arbete med lätthet och placera hans sten fast på toppen om du så önskade, härskarinna. Med skönhet och klokskap är du till övermåttan begåvad och alla står i din skuggan, ja ensam så står du främst, varken jämnåriga, yngre eller äldre kan med dig tävla. Du är av alla främst, och till dig hör jag ovärdige för evigt, O Emma!

Swedish version is much better than that pathetic translation, I'll get something ot eat and try again to translate it.

Måns

[Sindafalathiel]

I wrote a LotR baseed poem for school last year, and I'm working on a few Song parodies to songs that are rather obscure and unknown, at least where I live. The poem I wrote for school has been posted on Fanfiction.net under my name of Syenya, However, I will put it here as well.
Ballad of the Last Alliance

Long ago in Middle Earth
Late in the second age
Twenty rings of Power
Were forged and given to
The three main races.

The kings of the Elves
Got three silver* rings,
The Humans got
Nine of gold.*

The Dwarven Lords
Got 7 rings
And the Dark Lord
One of his own.

It’s amazing that war
Can be won and lost
Over such little things
As a plain gold ring.

Years passed in
Middle Earth
And the Dark Lord
Almost controlled Arda.

Finally, Men and Elves
Created an alliance
To overthrow
The Dark Lord.

At last, when all hope failed,
Isildur of the Dúnedain
Picked up a broken sword
And sliced the One Ring
Off the Dark Lord’s hand.

It’s amazing that war
Can be won and lost
Over such little things
As a plain gold ring.

Isildur now had the chance
To throw the ring
Into the fires of Mount Doom.
He gave up the choice
And kept the ring,
Sealing the fate of Arda.
~*~

[Orominuialwen]

Måns, that was beautiful [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]! It was wonderful considering that it was just a rough translation. Please keep writing more!

I am very sorry that I didn't post my poetry like I said I would, but I was gone on vacation for 2 weeks, and then just didn't have the time to transfer my poetry to this computer (I wrote it on another). I tried to take out all the dumb ones, but some may have managed to slip through, so please forgive me.They're all really short because all I can write are haikus. Anyway, here they all are.

The Great Journey
Bright light of Aman
but green forests are so fair
a choice lies ahead

Ainulindale
Beautiful and yet
So terrible all at once
The divine music

Andunië
Sunset in the west
the painted sky lingers on
home of the Faithful

Shelob
The malevolent
spawn of Ungoliant sits
watching and waiting

Nessa
Dancing joyfully
on Almaren, the deer come
to dance along too

Tulkas
Mighty in Battle
the possessor of great strength
yet always laughing

Vairë
Story of the world
ever-changing tapestry
the days are woven

Mandos
Sternly judging all
the doomsman of the Valar
pities only once

Ulmo
Lord of the waters
the powerful waves crash
plunging to the deeps

Estë
The healer of Lórellin
bringing sweet rest to the world
the gentle lady

Amarië of the Vanyar
Finrod’s beloved
not fated to journey far
refusing exile

Lúthien
Tinúviel sings
enchanting in Doriath
doomed to be mortal

The Sickle of the Valar
Swinging in the North
challenging he who would dare
the Valacirca

Castamir the Usurper
Curse you, usurper,
for stealing the crown from those
who deserve it more

Dews of Telperion
Shining and twinkling,
the dews of Telperion
rekindle the stars

The Shire’s Mallorn
The only mallorn
west of the Hithaeglir and
east of Belegaer

Tol Morwen
Stone of the hapless
cannot be thrown down, even
when the world is changed

Nirnaeth Arnoediad
The unnumbered tears
brings grief to the hearts of all
so many are lost

Azaghâl
Wounding the dread worm
king of the mighty fortress
amid the tears

Balrog
Dark flame of Udûn
bane to more than just Durin
scourges of fire

Irmo
The garden-keeper
dream bringer of Lórien
master of spirits

Manwë
Dearest to Eru
Súlimo, lover of birds
wisest of Valar

Huan
Ever-faithful one
the wolfhound of the Valar
loving to the end

[Orominuialwen]

I have a new one:
Éowyn
Fair and yet so cold
the shieldmaiden of the North
great deeds will be hers

[Samwise]

Orominuialwen, WOW! I have a few haikus somewhere... [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img] maybe I can find them later. [img]smilies/tongue.gif[/img]

[Orominuialwen]

The reason I have so many is that they were written over a period of about 9 months and I just posted them all at once.

[Samwise]

I did a bunch of Haikus in one night (there's an explination for that, but I won't bore you with it)--I just need to figure out where the journal is that they're in! ;p [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]