The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum


Visit The *EVEN NEWER* Barrow-Downs Photo Page

Go Back   The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum > Middle-Earth Fun and Games > Middle-earth Mirth
User Name
Password
Register FAQ Members List Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read


Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 01-09-2007, 07:58 AM   #41
Elonve
Wight
 
Elonve's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Where the stars go blue.
Posts: 153
Elonve has just left Hobbiton.
Make fat jokes about his 'Mummy'

Talk in a very annoying spitty voice.

Prance around in his knickers singing, "I am Lord Sauron! Weeeeee!"
________
Vaporizers For Sale

Last edited by Elonve; 04-09-2011 at 06:23 PM.
Elonve is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-09-2007, 06:59 PM   #42
Morai
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
 
Morai's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Where young people go to retire
Posts: 747
Morai has just left Hobbiton.
Send a message via MSN to Morai Send a message via Yahoo to Morai Send a message via Skype™ to Morai
Boots

Quote:
Get an overweight Orc to wear Sauron's armour and parade around in it doing poor impressions of The Dark Lord.
Nah, I think an prissy, stuck up elf would be better. Or, in case the elf refuses on grounds of poor pay, have Saruman do the job. That would really tick Sauron off.
__________________
"So why the safe distance, this curious look? Why tear out single pages when you can throw away the book? Why pluck one string when you can strum the guitar?
MeWithoutYou http://fortyfifthparadox.com
Morai is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-17-2007, 04:12 AM   #43
Elonve
Wight
 
Elonve's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Where the stars go blue.
Posts: 153
Elonve has just left Hobbiton.
poke him in his eye
________
SQUIRTING WET

Last edited by Elonve; 04-09-2011 at 06:23 PM.
Elonve is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-17-2007, 09:59 AM   #44
Morai
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
 
Morai's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Where young people go to retire
Posts: 747
Morai has just left Hobbiton.
Send a message via MSN to Morai Send a message via Yahoo to Morai Send a message via Skype™ to Morai
Boots Random Titles get pulled over....

Walk up to Sauron, and tell him in a professional voice "Boss? The Police called earlier. It seems they've written you a ticket for using a Palantir while driving."
__________________
"So why the safe distance, this curious look? Why tear out single pages when you can throw away the book? Why pluck one string when you can strum the guitar?
MeWithoutYou http://fortyfifthparadox.com
Morai is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-17-2007, 10:01 AM   #45
Hookbill the Goomba
Alive without breath
 
Hookbill the Goomba's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 6,153
Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Morris Dancing... Orcs?
__________________
I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once.
THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...
Hookbill the Goomba is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-30-2007, 02:22 AM   #46
Alphaelin
Wight
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Tottering about in the Wild
Posts: 132
Alphaelin has just left Hobbiton.
Tell him you've enrolled the Orcs in ballet class, and that he has to watch their recital. Dress the Orcs in pink costumes, with maribou feathers. Make the Orcs dance to 'I'm a little teapot', and make them practice it about fifty times a day. Be sure to plan the recital for the exact moment Aragorn's army shows up at the Morannon.
__________________
Not all those who wander are lost . . . because some of us know how to read a map.
Alphaelin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-30-2007, 10:33 AM   #47
Elmo
Pittodrie Poltergeist
 
Elmo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: trying to find that warm and winding lane again
Posts: 659
Elmo has just left Hobbiton.
Claim that the size of Barad-Dur is Sauron trying to compensate for something

THE LACK OF A SECOND EYE of course, what did you think i was meaning

Chant ma me ma mo, ma me ma mae over and over again in an irritating high pitch voice, no wait just get Pippin to do it
__________________
As Beren looked into her eyes within the shadows of her hair,
The trembling starlight of the skies he saw there mirrored shimmering.
Elmo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-30-2007, 01:13 PM   #48
Thenamir
Spectre of Capitalism
 
Thenamir's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Battling evil bureaucrats at Zeta Aquilae
Posts: 990
Thenamir has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Thenamir has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Thenamir has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Thenamir has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Thenamir has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Thenamir has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Thenamir has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Thenamir has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Thenamir has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Thenamir has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Thenamir has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!
Send him a case of Visine.
__________________
The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.
~~ Marcus Aurelius
Thenamir is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-15-2007, 03:39 PM   #49
Celegost
Pile O'Bones
 
Celegost's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Hobbiton
Posts: 25
Celegost has just left Hobbiton.
Send a message via MSN to Celegost
Shield

When hes adressing his massive orc army, shout "everybody dance now"
__________________
From the ashes a fire shall be woken, A light from the shadows shall spring; Renewed shall be blade that was broken, The crownless again shall be king.
Celegost is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-15-2007, 06:49 PM   #50
xyzzy
Haunting Spirit
 
xyzzy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Ozark, MO
Posts: 53
xyzzy is still gossiping in the Green Dragon.
Vividly describe a dream to him which you had where he dies a torturous death.

Include stabbing sound effects for bonus points.

Eye stabbing sounds.
xyzzy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-16-2007, 06:01 AM   #51
The Sixth Wizard
Shade of Carn Dûm
 
The Sixth Wizard's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Stuck under a rock in Valinor with Ar-Pharazon.
Posts: 495
The Sixth Wizard has just left Hobbiton.
Send a message via MSN to The Sixth Wizard
Thumbs up

Build up a massive army of elves, men and other nice people, invade Barad-Dur and set a dog on him 'just like old times'.

Tell him Luthien is better than him.

Tell him Felagund nearly beat him at singing.

Laugh at his singing.

STOP HIM SINGING.

Tell him that even if Minas Tirith had been invaded and there was a second Dark Years that Eru would have put a foot in and sunk the party anyway.

Tell him his old vampire suit makes his rear end look big.

Listen to him say his eye is superior to all attack and sees all, then get a mate and sneak up on him from behind and front simultaneously.

Tell him that he has the worst army in Battle For Middle Earth 2.

Tell him Saruman's orcs are bigger, smarter and have more dynamite.

Inform him of the fact he was beaten by a dog OVER AND OVER AND OVER.

Then inform him of the fact he was beaten by a midget.

... And his chief servant was beaten by a girl.

Tell him Aragorn looks more manly than him.

Ask whether wearing a big black helmet hides his pimples.

Enlighten him upon Olay Ultra-Clear. (the spot is gone in 24 hours!)

Tell him Artemis Fowl is WAY smarter than him.

Then prove it in a game of cross-book correspondence chess.

Ask whether he is really a HE.

...Run away from her.


Aaaaaah, cynicality.
The Sixth Wizard is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-18-2007, 07:06 AM   #52
lothlorien
Registered User
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Stalking the fellowship
Posts: 38
lothlorien has just left Hobbiton.
Sting

Throw popcorn kerdles into mount doom and then ask him what movie does he want to watch with you.

Then ask to watch it on the eye of Sauron and when he says no pout and say well you said you can see everything" and then complain that he never wants to do anything with you.
lothlorien is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-18-2007, 08:50 AM   #53
Boo Radley
Wight
 
Boo Radley's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Ohio. Believe it or not.
Posts: 154
Boo Radley has just left Hobbiton.
When the spotlight-like beam from his eye hits you, go into an old soft shoe number.

That's what I'd do.

Seriously.
__________________
Don't believe everything you read on the interwebs. That's how World War 1 got started!
Boo Radley is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-15-2008, 11:55 PM   #54
Morgoth's Apprentice
Animated Skeleton
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: In Angband, chillin with Morgoth and learning how to take over the world
Posts: 38
Morgoth's Apprentice has just left Hobbiton.
Send a message via MSN to Morgoth's Apprentice
Dark-Eye

-dump a bucket of water on his eye
-try to put his eye out with a pointed stick
-insult him right to his face (i mean eye i guess)
-tell him that the witch king is a poor choice for a servant
-insult Morgoth in front of him
-play hide and seek with him until he gets ****ed off that he cant find you

..more to come later...
Morgoth's Apprentice is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-22-2008, 06:02 AM   #55
kementari
Haunting Spirit
 
kementari's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Amongst the Ferns: New Zealand
Posts: 58
kementari has just left Hobbiton.
Send a message via MSN to kementari
Dark-Eye Annoying Sauron

Firstly misplace his morning supply of coffee...
Pull all the blankets on to your side (he doesn't need them, he's all flames anyway)
Don't iron the creases out of his work shirts.

I'm sure he's not that tempamental, but hey who knows.
__________________
~ Kementari ~

Elen síla lúmenn' omentielvo.
kementari is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-2010, 07:01 PM   #56
Galadriel55
Blossom of Dwimordene
 
Galadriel55's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: The realm of forgotten words
Posts: 10,299
Galadriel55 is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Galadriel55 is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Galadriel55 is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Galadriel55 is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
The Eye

Tell him he's cross-eyed.
Spray hair-spray into his eye.
Tell him that 9 fingers really isn't enough for a King of ME.
Offer him to tutor him in music. Particularly in singing.
Ask him if he ever blinks.
Present him with a fake Ruling Ring.
Through sand in his eye.
Tell him that a hairy midget will destroy him.
Knock on Barad-dur's gates and say "pizza's here!"
Tell him that there are atom bombs prepared in Minas Tirith, and his best weapon is a rusty musket.
Tell him that his eye would be more attractive if it was green.
Say "Huan" in his earshot (eye-shot?)
Remind him that he doesn't have a license to use a palantir.

There are so many ways!
__________________
You passed from under darkened dome, you enter now the secret land. - Take me to Finrod's fabled home!... ~ Finrod: The Rock Opera

Last edited by Galadriel55; 12-22-2010 at 05:38 PM.
Galadriel55 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-22-2010, 05:18 PM   #57
Galadriel55
Blossom of Dwimordene
 
Galadriel55's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: The realm of forgotten words
Posts: 10,299
Galadriel55 is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Galadriel55 is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Galadriel55 is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Galadriel55 is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
And another one:

Ask Sauron, "can I please borrow your contact lenses?"

Or simply tell him that he needs glasses.
__________________
You passed from under darkened dome, you enter now the secret land. - Take me to Finrod's fabled home!... ~ Finrod: The Rock Opera
Galadriel55 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-27-2014, 06:56 PM   #58
Lotrelf
Shade of Carn Dûm
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 265
Lotrelf has just left Hobbiton.
Dear Sauron, can I hire your country and especially Barad-dur for a month or so? I want to shoot for an episode of Man vs. Wild. We'll come on Eagles so that it doesn't take long.
And
Don't you get bored sitting all the time in your creepy Tower? Go and see the world it's better.
__________________
A short saying oft contains much wisdom.
~Sophocles
Lotrelf is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-18-2014, 02:34 AM   #59
Ivriniel
Shade of Carn Dûm
 
Ivriniel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 433
Ivriniel has just left Hobbiton.
Tell him that, really, he was just jealous of Arwen, because, secretly, he had the hots for Aragorn, and never coped with the rejection. And offer him anti-stalking counselling.
Ivriniel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-18-2014, 08:02 AM   #60
Lotrelf
Shade of Carn Dûm
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 265
Lotrelf has just left Hobbiton.
Another one: Show him this thread. We'd see if he isn't annoyed! And doesn't come to kill us ALL.
__________________
A short saying oft contains much wisdom.
~Sophocles
Lotrelf is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 04:38 AM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.9 Beta 4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.