Which Downer Am I!

[Hilde Bracegirdle]

Very true. Too much of a leap, albeit a fun one.

...Title, eh?

[Gil-Galad]

When you say Tea i imediately think Hookbill

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Such associations will surely lead you into error. You must unlearn what you have learned.

[Hilde Bracegirdle]

Could it be Tigerlilly Gamgee?

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

It could be, but isn't. This poster isn't a regular.

[Hilde Bracegirdle]

Hmm...

What about maikafanawen with "Tears of Simbelmynë"?

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

This could easily become a complete list of members.

I'm afraid that's still not the answer.

[Bêthberry]

You know, I wouldn't put it past Squatter to refer to himself. And he is not on the first page. Let's see... suspicious tea. Well, a spectre of decay would definitely produce a suspicious oozy 'tea-like' fluid. But that is a stretch--or perhaps I should say, stinker.

On the other hand, a suspicious tea could well be a from of prohibited substance, and we all know who carries around all those pots with him. But The Saucepan Man is indeed on the first page.

Well, that's all the time I have to devote to silliness.

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Much as I dislike deterring the participation of our more astute members, neither of those is right. Top marks for deviousness, though.

No, I'm afraid that referring to myself might be a little too obscure these days, at least until I can work out some way of posting more regularly. As for Saucepan, he's been mentioned in this thread so many times that I expect his ears are heating his office. I thought perhaps I ought to give him a rest. Still, you might remember this member. I thought it was a great nick when I first saw it.

[JennyHallu]

I think it is Lord of Angmar, whose title, "Tyrannis Incorporalis" is an alternative way to refer to his screen name.

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

I've never drunk Lord of Angmar's tea, but I'm fairly sure that it wouldn't be as suspicious as any brewed by the member I have in mind.

[Hilde Bracegirdle]

Gwaihir the Windlord as "Essence of Darkness" I imagine would brew rather stiff tea.

But most suspicious would be that of HCIsland the "Zombie Cannibal".

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Neither of those, I fear.

I think a repetition of the clue and a few pointers are in order.

Different alternative makes suspicious tea.

The meaning's probably clearer if I rephrase it: Different set of circumstances makes suspicious tea

In order to get this, you don't need to know anything about the member in question, not even their personal title. My clue only refers to the user name itself, albeit very allusively. I've also rather cruelly chosen a member who's been out of circulation for a long while.

[JennyHallu]

Perhaps one of the Greenleafs?

There are Lyra, Mariska, and a third. They would make an odd tea if they were really leaves...

[The Saucepan Man]

I do believe that Jenny has it.

Lyra, in the His Dark Materials series, lives in a parallel universe - an alternative set of cirumstances - and Greenleaf Tea might be regarded as suspicious.

Well done Jenny. That one had been puzzling me for some time.

[Bêthberry]

I am quite happy to hear that Squatter was able to resist the urge to employ a T Rex cryptic. But that would have been some sort of right funny allusion, if not divine right.

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Why should I stoop so low as self-promotion, Bêthberry, when my fame was for some time trumpeted from your signature for all to see? I could, I suppose have made myself the answer and referred to that quoted conversation, but I think I've already appeared in this thread.

You know, for some time I've been wondering who'd get this one. Obviously at the back of my mind I'd been thinking that perhaps Saucepan would come in and casually drop in the right answer. I'd even gone so far as to ask myself whether this would usher in a new age of cryptic domination on this thread. Now, at long last, I have my answer.

That answer is, of course, 'no'.

This has nothing to do either with the Greenleaf clan or with Philip Pullman's Oxonian guttersnipe. That was a nice bit of forum archaeology, though, JennyHallu.

[JennyHallu]

I didn't think that was correct. And Archaeology it was not. Archaeology is a science--i was merely sifting through sand.

And I don't like Phillip Pullman's series...at all...so I'm glad it isn't that.

[The Saucepan Man]

Bah! Back to the drawing board ...

[JennyHallu]

I'm so awful at cryptic clues...never managed to finish a single crossword...

But they're tantalizing. You know the whole time that the answer is...well...stalking you. There's no other way to put it. I keep hoping I will mentally turn around and find the answer wasn't quick enough to hide. Oh well...back to pretending I don't know it's there.

[Bêthberry]

Originally Posted by The Squatter of Amon Rûdh

Why should I stoop so low as self-promotion, Bêthberry, when my fame is trumpeted from your signature for all to see?

Oh dear me! It is? Squatter, I 've never known you to misuse a verb tense. Estelyn can verify the time frame here, as my new sig went up some time before your reply.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

TPotSS

Simply because when you read it, it sounds like teapotsssssssss with that ssssssss like a suspicioussss ssssnake. Or Gollum, if you will, my preciousssss.

Don't know how it could fit in with that first part of the clue, though.

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Good guess, Eomer, but I'm afraid it's the wrong answer: I don't remember seeing that name before. You are on the right track, though.

Bêthberry: I have better things to do with my time than to keep track of every deranged fangirl that mentions me in her signature. Nevertheless I must appease the dark gods of pedantry whom I serve. I have edited my last post for temporal accuracy, but now you owe me a gerundive, you silly mod.

[Bêthberry]

Originally Posted by The Squatter of Amon Rûdh

Bêthberry: I have better things to do with my time than to keep track of every deranged fangirl that mentions me in her signature. Nevertheless I must appease the dark gods of pedantry whom I serve. I have edited my last post for temporal accuracy, but now you owe me a gerundive, you silly mod.

Will an ablative absolute do?

I'm sure you have made Mark 12_30 aka Helen's day. We really have needed something to spark a bit of energy in Books these days.

And, lest I be called on being off-off-topic, let me say that I think any one of these long out of circulation nicks could be called "a great nick."

Vilya Elathelas of Rivendell

Lord Syslox of Emyn Beverli

The Mirrorball Man

I won't say what the tea of the first might be but the other two are highly suspicious.

[Mithalwen]

Originally Posted by JennyHallu

I'm so awful at cryptic clues...never managed to finish a single crossword...

But they're tantalizing. You know the whole time that the answer is...well...stalking you. There's no other way to put it. I keep hoping I will mentally turn around and find the answer wasn't quick enough to hide. Oh well...back to pretending I don't know it's there.

Jenny, while a slightly warped mind is an asset, it is possible to learn how to "read" cryptic clues and you will find various websites to help you get started. It is also helpful for learners to look back at the previous day's puzzle with the answers. The clues here are particularly hard because there is no help from the grid.

[JennyHallu]

Oh I know, I know...and you have no idea how many times I have done just that. Generally, I sat down with the answers and think, gee, that was obvious...and then still can't figure it out.

Oh well, off to find some java-script crossword so that I can practice.

*shakes fist at Squatter* Ye fiend, ye!

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

And, lest I be called on being off-off-topic

Heaven forfend.

Long years past it was the custom in these parts to toast live butterflies over an open refrigerator on St. Brigit's Day. In these more lemon-scented times, however, the practice has given way to an annual race between two teams of gooseberry rollers from the great universities of Harrogate and Christmas Island.

As the legendary 'Cicero of Skegness', Obadiah Ottershaw, once put it "I am, of course, pulling your leg. I was wondering how long anyone would read a quotation for before they realised that it was completely invented by me." I am disinclined to argue with his undeniably prescient words.

Also, apparently, sprach Zarathustra. But that is a different story entirely, and a dark and terrible tale it is too.

There follows the answer to Bethberry's guesses, disguised as a gratuitously parenthetical quotation. Let's pretend it's from last week's Sunday Times.

Those are indeed great names (although Lord Syslox could have obtained a far punchier name by omitting a location), but how many times have we seen greatness denied? This, I fear, is to be one of those times, since none of those undeniably departed members is the long-defunct forum correspondant of whom I speak.

[JennyHallu]

I thought maybe "makes suspicious tea" referred to an anagram. But no one anagrams directly to that. So...must figure out "Different alternative"

Am I on the right track at all?

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

You are now that you've abandoned the anagram approach. Once you know the name I'm looking for, the 'suspicious tea' will make perfect sense, I assure you.

[JennyHallu]

So confused.

[Hilde Bracegirdle]

camomile makes a fairly suspicious tea.

[JennyHallu]

If that's the answer I will be forced to pound my head on my desk in the spirit of the great "Oh, duh!"

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Camomile tea isn't particularly suspicious, although it is the beverage most likely to be mentioned in novels that begin with a chapter of described internal monologue. Incidentally, my rule of thumb is that where camomile tea is mentioned in the first paragraph, the second will probably contain the phrase 'she remembered' and the third won't be worth reading.

Anyway, I digress. I didn't realise that there were so many tea-related names here. That part of the clue (which isn't exclusively to do with tea) is probably the part to focus on, but it's only one part of the answer.

[Hilde Bracegirdle]

Fíriel of Ao Tea Roa, is a name that sets me in mind of a noble lady steeped in Red Rose tea - which perhaps is a little removed from those stories in which characters sip camomille tea as they remember. For instance, was it Lancelot or Galahad who finds the boiled girl?

Perhaps if I were fluent in obscure fictitious languages this name might mean something more?

EDIT: Just to tidy things up, it was Lancelot who found the boiled girl named Elaine in T.H. White's Once and Future King.

[Lalaith]

Curse you, Squatter. I've been ploughing through the forgotten dusty vaults of the members list for a clue...I hope this tealady/gent of yours has more than one post to his/her name, that's all....

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Hilde: I'm afraid not. I think you're getting too hung up on the tea connection and forgetting the rest of the clue. It all has to fit.

Lalaith: I can assure you that this member has more than one post. They reached the dizzy heights of wightdom before disappearing.

[piosenniel]

And now for a completely wild guess:



Ultimatejoe

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

I don't think that 'no' quite covers it, pio. Perhaps 'why?' is a better response.

[Lalaith]

Mintyztwin ?

Mint tea....

[Mithalwen]

I think I have it (thanks to all the hints, of course) !

Kettle of Fish

As in "A different kettle of fish", an alternative.

Something suspicious is fishy and so would the tea made in a fish kettle be.