B.B., phone home!

[alatar]

I finally broke down and started carrying a cell (mobile) phone. Oh the joy... Though I work in a hi-tech field, I resisted getting a phone as I find them annoying and useless, having not had one for most of my life (here's a clue, plan ahead). People thought it odd when asking for my cell number, and I replied that I didn't have one.

(Yes, I know, some of you are already thinking that people may find me odd even *with* a cell phone. )

Anyway, I have tried to make use of the phone that I received as a gift from the kids (how could I say no?), just so I don't follow in other dinosaurs' footprints, and I will need to understand what the kids' are doing with theirs once they get them (and we never see them again as they stand around texting each other).

One feature I like, which seemed impossible when I was a lad, is the voice recognition technology. I just say, "Call my wife" and the phone dials 'my wife.' I've tried to make each contact somewhat distinct, so that I have to argue with the phone as little as possible as below:

"Call my brother."

"Did you say, 'Call my mother?"

"No."

"Did you say, 'Call my brother?"

"Yes."

"Mobile?"

"No."

"Home?"

"Yes."

"Calling my brother home."

"Finally..."


Anyway, I wanted to know if you use any Tolkien words in your contacts, or could suggest some so I could 'phone home' with something more distinctive than 'my house,' 'my home' or 'mi casa.'

"Call Bag End."

[Aganzir]

I started (Middle-earth) roleplaying with my friends when I was 11 or 12, and in the beginning we used our characters' name everywhere, including our contacts. Actually I even signed an exam as Fundin once instead of using my real name... (But it was okay since it was elementary school. ) Lommy was our GM and because it felt weird to call her by her NPCs' names, I think we just called her Thinlómien (yes the name dates that far back) or made up some other nice and friendly nicknames.

Bag End is a really cute name for home. But sometimes there might times when Mordor would be more accurate (although of course your cell might confuse it with 'mother', what with the way you Americans pronounce Mordor)...

[Bêthberry]

Voice recognition technology? Hey, I must check out my new cell to see if I have that. But I can just imagine the scenario if I get a cold or flu and my voice changes. How to convince the bloomin' machine I am who I say I am without sounding like Popeye?

Tolkien names would be good, but I'd have to remember them, so I couldn't let mine get too fancy. Would I remember that "Call Mr. Bliss" is my garage mechanic? That "Call Annatar" is for Santa/the North Pole? I'd use Dol Guldur for the boss only I don't have one. "Call Minus Teeth" might be easy to remember for the dentist. Ditto "Call Athelas" for the local pharmacy. But I bet I couldn't remember that "Call Old Man Willow" is the Income Tax Number, at least not for long after the April deadline for tax submission.

As for home, I guess I'd have to stick with "Call Bombadil."

[Ibrîniðilpathânezel]

My cell phone is considered an antique by the people who keep trying to sell me a new one -- it's not that old, but it's not a smart phone in any sense of the word. If it were smart enough to recognize my voice (which it is not), I would probably tell it to call Aman or the Uttermost West when calling home. Of our local group of Tolkien fans, we were always and coincidentally the ones who lived farthest west, hence the name. I suppose I'm glad it doesn't have voice recognition; getting my personalized ring tone on it was hard enough. (And for those familiar with my symphonies and suites, my ring tone is the theme I wrote for the Ring. Bad pun, I know, but I'll never get it confused with someone else's. My husband uses my theme for Sauron as the ring tone for me when I call. I should be miffed at that, but I just can't be. )

[mark12_30]

I wish I could turn the voice recognition off. It is cheesy and clumsy and I never use it ($20 phone) and I wish it would just go away and let me poke buttons.

But if I DID use it... I don't know whether I'd be digging into a Sindarin dictionary for the elvish words (what is the elvish word for Home?) (Instead of Cell Phones, do my friends each have a Palantir?)

Or maybe I'd be going with "Rivendell". Is work "Mordor"? I think of it more as the Road to Mordor (my quest to destroy the Ring of my weaknesses and frailties, which just happens to take place in an office.) But then I'd need the elvish word for "Quest."

Golly, it's as hard as coming up with passwords.

[Legate of Amon Lanc]

I remember a friend of mine (Honza - for the few 'Downers who know him) used to have a phone with this function, and you can imagine the fun we had with it. But you don't need to, of course, limit yourself to such prosaic ways to express yourself. Just for the sake of coolness, and for utter discrediting yourself in the eyes of the "normal" people, you might try to use for a few cases to call things like "Elbereth Gilthoniel!" or "Ash Nazg Durbatuluk" (both with some appropriate intonation). I think the image of a person with a sudden movement reaching into his pocket, taking out a mobile phone shining in the evening dark as it's being switched on, lifting it high in front of himself and crying "Elbereth Gilthoniel!" is pretty stunning... But of course, that's just one alternative.

It might be good for example for any emergency calls.

[Mithalwen]

Surely there is a very obvious choice for a suitably favoured person:

"Mellon!"