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Old 07-11-2018, 10:47 PM   #1
ArcusCalion
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Silmaril The Hunt for the Ring

This is the first draft of the chapter The Hunt for the Ring.

This chapter uses the text of The Hunt for the Ring from UT as a base text, and I mark the first instance of the main text. In UT, several variants and later or contemporary versions are given, and so wherever these are inserted into the story, I have used a marker.

The markings are:
FY-HL-xx for all the headlines for the Fading Years.
HR-SL-xx for all expansions and changes to the narrative.

Some conventions of my writing:

Bold Text = source information, comments and remarks
{example} = text that should be deleted
[example] = normalized text, normally only used for general changes, as well as changes which are a part of replacement that is not grammatical.
Underlined Text = text changed for grammatical reasons in the process of combining and inserting and removing.
<source example> = additions with source information
...... = This section of the paragraph is unchanged from the source.

Quote:
FY-HL-17 <THE HUNT FOR THE RING>

HR-SL-01 <ORP Now by fortune and his vigilance Mithrandir first learned of the Ring, ere Sauron had news of it; ..... and he sent forth the Nazgûl to take it.>
HR-SL-02 <HR text A
Gollum was captured in Mordor in the year 3017 and taken to Barad-dûr, and there questioned and tormented. HR-SL-03 <HR text D Gollum would not know the term ‘Hobbit,’ which was local and not a universal Westron word. He would ...... But for it, the Black Riders would have reached the Shire weeks sooner.>
When he had learned what he could from him, ...... would thus be led to the Ring. HR-SL-04 <HR text D {[}After his release from Mordor{]} Gollum soon disappeared into the Dead Marshes, where Sauron's emissaries could not or would not follow him.>
Gollum, however, was before long ..... beside the banks of the Gladden.
Now Sauron learning of the capture of Gollum by the chiefs of his enemies was in great haste and fear. HR-SL-05 <HR text B When and how this happened cannot of course .... on the twenty-first of March. [Footnote: Gandalf arrived two days later, ..... journey of nearly eight hundred miles.]
It is thus most likely that the first news of Gollum ..... and that Gandalf had passed into Thranduil's realm.>
Yet all his ordinary spies and emissaries ...... which Sauron held.
Now few could withstand even one ..... perceived and their mission be guessed by the Wise. HR-SL-06 <HR text B {All}In addition, all except the Witch-king were apt to stray when alone by daylight; and all, again save the Witch-King, feared water, and were unwilling, except in dire need, to enter it or to cross streams unless dryshod by a bridge. [Footnote: At the Ford of Bruinen only the Witch-king and two others, with the lure of the Ring straight before them, had dared to enter the river; the others were driven into it by Glorfindel and Aragorn.]>
So it was that Sauron prepared two strokes ..... These things were done towards the end of June 3018. HR-SL-07 <HR text B In the panic of the first assault, when the Witch-king was allowed to reveal himself briefly in his full terror, the Nazgûl crossed the bridge at night and dispersed northwards.> Thus Sauron tested the strength and preparedness of Denethor, ..... his policy of war against Gondor.
Therefore when Osgiliath was taken .... abode in Dol Guldur as Sauron's lieutenant, with HR-SL-08 {one other}two others as his messengers. <From Note 1: [Footnote: {From notes counting in detail the movements of the Black Riders in the Shire it emerges that it}It was Khamûl who came to Hobbiton and spoke to Gaffer Gamgee, who followed the Hobbits along the road to Stock, and who narrowly missed them at the Bucklebury Ferry {(see p.360)}. The Rider who accompanied him, whom he summoned by cries on the ridge above Woodhall, and with whom he visited Farmer Maggot, was {"}one of his companions from Dol Guldur.{"} Of Khamûl it is said {here} that he was the most ready of all the Nazgûl after the Black Captain himself, to perceive the presence of the Ring, but also the one whose power was most confused and diminished by daylight.]>
The Lord of Morgul therefore led his ..... seeking for the Shire, the land of the Halflings.

HR-SL-09 <HR It seems clear that pursued both by Elves and Orcs Gollum .... after which all trace of him was lost.
What then happened to Gollum cannot of course ...... for Gollum that the Nine Walkers arrived when they did.>

About the twenty-second of July HR-SL-10 {they}the Ringwraiths met their ....... learn any news that availed them.
At length they returned; but the summer ..... and secrecy must be abandoned.
The Ringwraiths therefore were ordered ..... was coming on the heels of the black horses.
HR-SL-11 <HR text C The Black Riders arrived at the Gate of Isengard while Gandalf was still a prisoner in the tower. {In this account,} Saruman, in fear and despair, ..... Eagle flying towards Edoras.
Now Saruman's case was worse. If Gandalf ..... Master that you have done so.’
This skillful speech convinced even the Witch-king ...... some bearing messages to him.
When he was rid of the Riders Saruman ..... Eriador all the spies, spy-birds, and agents that he could muster.>
HR-SL-12
{Two days after Gandalf had departed from Orthanc, .....
...
...
...
...
...
...
... would slay him with torture.}
HR-SL-13 <HR text C When the Black Riders were far across Enedwaith and drawing near at last to Tharbad, they had what was for them a great stroke of good fortune, but disastrous for Saruman, and deadly perilous for Frodo.
Saruman had long taken an interest ...... Isengard Saruman was still recognized as an ally.
Some while ago one of Saruman's most trusted servants ...... and notes concerning the Shire.
This Dunlending was overtaken ..... for immediate visit and enquiry.
The Witch-king had now a clearer understanding ...... and sent turn on to Bree as an agent. HR-SL-14 {He was the squint-eyed southerner at the Inn.}>
Night was waning on the twenty-second ...... Gandalf upon Shadowfax was riding over Rohan far behind.>
HR-SL-15 <HR text B
{In version B it is noted that the}The Black Captain did not know ...... while he himself visited the Barrow-downs. HR-SL-16 {In notes on the movements of the Black Riders at that time it is said that the}The Black Captain stayed there for some days, and the Barrow-wights were roused, and all things of evil spirit, hostile to Elves and Men, were on the watch with malice in the Old Forest and on the Barrow-downs.>
FY-HL-17: This title is self-explanatory, as the main text of the chapter is from this work.

HR-SL-01: We start off the chapter with the bit from Of the Rings of Power which describes (in brief) the events prior to LotR. It serves as a nice introduction to the material of the chapter, which is concerned with Saruon's hunt for the Ring.

HR-SL-02: Here we enter into the base text of the chapter, text A of The Hunt for the Ring.

HR-SL-03: Here we pull in the first expansion from another version of the text. This is from text D, which expands on Gollum's role in the events. This information is worth giving.

HR-SL-04: Another tidbit from text D worth giving.

HR-SL-05: These movements of Aragorn are given in text B, and are worth giving, and I think this is the place that fits them best. I have chopped up much of the text B snippet given, and I have also not used all of it, but only because it is mostly redundant with text A, giving in some places no new info. I have taken all the bits I feel are substantially different enough to warrant giving.

HR-SL-06: These are given as weaknesses of the Nazgul in text B, so I felt they belonged here, where their weakness is discussed in text A.

HR-SL-07: This detail is absent from text A, so i took it from B.

HR-SL-08: CT notes that in the Tale of Years, it lists three Nazgul as dwelling in Dol Guldur, and that he thinks this is a slip of the pen for Tolkien, so I think we should follow his word, especially since it is such a minor change. I took the bits from the note that were worth giving.

HR-SL-09: This information about Gollum entering Moria is not given outside of text D, and sets the stage for his introduction into the narrative of LotR later.

HR-SL-10: Because of the text D addition, the 'they' has lost its antecedent. I changed it to be correct.

HR-SL-11: This is the most radical change to the base narrative, however, text C is later than text A, so it would (by our rules) represent the more correct version to give. Therefore I replaced all of this part of the story in text A with the version given in text C.

HR-SL-12: I mark here the deletion of the old text A story.

HR-SL-13: Here we return to the text C story at the point where we left off.

HR-SL-14: This reference to a very specific event in LotR does not work for me. No matter what we include in the draft for the next chapter, we will not mention the squint-eyed southerner from the inn, so this reference will go unexplained. I would rather remove it. There may be other such references which I missed, which should maybe also be removed.

HR-SL-15: This snippet of text B seems to be the latest piece of info on the movements of the Black Riders given in the UT text. In Lord of the Rings: A Reader's Companion more bits are published, but they refer to very specific events in LotR, and the narrative is presented in near bullet-point form, and I think is not worth including, due to both of these reasons. Therefore, I think we can end the chapter here.

HR-SL-16: This is just cleaning it up from CT commentary into narrative.

Last edited by ArcusCalion; 07-11-2018 at 10:58 PM.
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Old 07-13-2018, 05:21 PM   #2
Findegil
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I have few remarks about this chapter. Everything I don’t comment on I agree to.

HR-SL-02: The addition itself is okay but after it I think we should change the following:
Quote:
When he had learned what he could from {him}Gollum Sauron released him ...
A tipo found here (marked broad)
Quote:
… But all that you need to know on the mission that he has given you is where 'the Shire' lies. That says Mithrandir, is northwest from here some six hundred miles, …
HR-SL-12: I think you removed too much. Later when they approach Sarn Ford our text says ‘Night was waning on the twenty-second day of September when drawing together again they came to Sarn Ford …’. So they must have been split. I would edit as follows below.
HR-SL-14: I think we can be sure that readers of our work know LotR and Hobbit. So we should be glad of these ‘bridges’, and not remove them.
And another three typos brqad printed in the middle and last give paragraph.
Quote:
… sent out into Eriador all the spies, spy-birds, and agents that he could muster.>
HR-SL-12b{Two days after Gandalf had departed from Orthanc, …



… Sauron's vengeance could wait.}
Now he divided his company into four pairs, and they rode separately, but he himself went ahead with the swiftest pair, Thus they passed west out of Rohan, and explored the desolation of Enedwaith HR-SL-13b{, and came at last to Tharbad}.<HR text C When the Black Riders were far across Enedwaith and drawing near at last to Tharbad, …



Saruman had long taken an interest in the Shire – because Gandalf did, and he was suspicious of him; … When Gandalf had refused to treat with him Saruman had redoubled his efforts. …



… He put therefore the Shadow of Fear on the Dunlending, and sent him on to Bree as an agent. HR-SL-14 He was the squint-eyed southerner at the Inn.> Thence they rode through Minhiriath, and even though they were not yet assembled a rumor of dread spread about them, and the creatures of the wild hid themselves, and lonely men fled away. HR-SL-14.5{But some fugitives on the road they captured; and to the delight of the Captain two proved to be spies and servants of Saruman. One of them had been used much in the traffic between Isengard and the Shire, and though he had not himself been beyond the Southfarthing he had charts prepared by Saruman which clearly depicted and described the Shire. These the Nazgûl took, and then sent him on to Bree to continue spying; but warned him that he was now in the service of Mordor, and that if ever he tried to return to Isengard they would slay him with torture.}
Night was waning on the twenty-second day of September …
HR-SL-15: In the text A that we used, the Stoors have been died out long before the Hunt for the Ring. So must remove the attack here in text B. I do nit agree that we should end the Hunt here, but we might discuss this issue after you posted the draft of the next chapter.

HR-SL-16: This at least we have in the words of JRR Tolkien:
Quote:
HR-SL-15<HR text B{In version B it is noted that the}The Black Captain did not know whether the Ring was still in the Shire; that he had to find out. The Shire was too large for a violent onslaught HR-SL-15.2{ such as he had made on the Stoors}; he must use as much stealth and as little terror as he could, and yet also guard the eastern borders. Therefore he sent HR-SL-15.4{some}<The Lord of the Rings Companion; Three is Company five> of the Riders into the Shire, with orders to disperse while traversing it; and of these Khamûl was to find Hobbiton, where ‘Baggins’ lived, according to Saruman's papers. HR-SL-15.4<The Lord of the Rings Companion; Three is Company {[}One{]} keeps to the east, passing northwards, towards the Marish, and the Bridge. {[}One{]} takes road leading northwest to Michel Delving, and {[}another{]} goes with him, but there [?]fares on and traverses the North Farthing. {[}The other tow{]} go through the central Shire, until they reach the East Road, probably near the Three-Farthing Stone. ({[}These{]} were probably Khamûl and his companion, from Dol Guldur; and {[}Khamûl{]} {[}is{]} the most ready of all (save {[}the Witch-King{]}) to perceive the presence of the Ring, but also the one whose power was most confused and diminished by sunlight). Drawn by the Ring {[}Khamûl{]} goes to Hobbiton which he reaches at evening on {Fri. Sept.}Friday September 23rd. {[}His companion{]} keeps an eye on the East Road and Stock Road, lurking probably between the two, just south of Whitefurrows. {[}Khamûl{]} just misses Frodo, and misled by the {Gaffers [sic]}Gaffer starts out east again.
{[}On 24 September he{]} picks up the stock Road, and overtakes Frodo at approaches to Woody End – probably by accident; he becomes uneasily aware of the Ring but is hesitant and uncertain because of the bright sun. He turns into the woods and waits for night.
>HR-SL-16b<The Lord of the Rings Companion; Fog on the Barrow-Downs {In Marquette MSS 4/2/36 (The Hunt for the Ring) it is said that after}After the Black Riders had overcome the Rangers guarding Sarn Ford, four of the Riders{
} pursue the Rangers along Greenway, and having slain them or driven them off Eastwards, make a camp at Andrath (where the road passes between the Barrowdowns and the South Downs){ [cf. note for p.177]}. {[}The Witch-king{]} now visits the Barrowdowns and stops there for some days (probably until late on 27th). This proves a main error, though in fact it was nearly successful, since the Barrowwights {are}were roused, and all things of evil spirit, hostile to Elves and Men, {are}were on the watch with malice in the Old Forest and on the Barrowdowns. {[}The other three Black Riders{]} are left to guard the eastern borders, to watch Greenway, and guard against Elves or Dúnedain coming from eastwards.>
Respectfully
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Old 07-13-2018, 06:50 PM   #3
ArcusCalion
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I agree with everything except HR-SL-15.4 for two reasons. The first and smaller one is that there remain a good many verbs that are in the present tense, when they should be in past tense, which I have changed (this problem also exists in 16b, but I agree to that change, and I corrected them on my draft). The larger issue with this insert, which is related to why I did not put it in, is that ir is very spefiic with its description of events of LotR, far more so than any text we can hope to create. In fact, if we keep this addition at all, I think we must move it to next chapter, since it takes place so clearly after Frodo has left Hobbiton. Therefore, I think if we decide to keep this addition, we should move it to the next chapter, and if we do not keep this change, we can leave it here. As you say, either way, it requires review of the next chapter's draft, so I will post that as soon as possible. Once I post that draft, we may discuss there how best to incorporate these lines.
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Old 07-13-2018, 08:22 PM   #4
ArcusCalion
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Actually, reviewing the draft for the next chapter, I think it is best to take the entire addition of HR-SL-15 through the end of HR-SL-15.4 and move it to the next chapter. It fits into that draft quite smoothly. I will place it there in my post for that chapter. I also added in the rest of the Hunt for the Ring narrative given in A Reader's Companion.

Last edited by ArcusCalion; 07-13-2018 at 11:49 PM.
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Old 07-13-2018, 11:59 PM   #5
ArcusCalion
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Sorry to triple post, but I found this addition for the chapter only just now. Right after HR-SL-11 finishes and the part I removed (HR-SL-12) begins, I propose we add this in given in A Reader's Companion from the Hunt for the Ring manuscripts:
Quote:
HR-SL-11.5 <Lord of the Rings Companion; The Council of Elrond Gandalf {escapes}escaped on the night of 17/18. {Full}It was a Full Moon 6 days waned, but bright because the weather after long cloud {has}had become clear. Gandalf {cannot}could not descend on an Eagle before the Gates of Edoras, and in any case {has}had to avoid the pursuit of Saruman. He {is}was set down therefore by Gwaihir in the foothills of the White {Mts.}Mountains at dawn on September 18 (west of Edoras), and {does}did not come to Edoras until Sept 19 - in a beggarly guise on foot. He {cannot}could not get an audience with Théoden, {[}the king{]}, and {is}was treated as a beggar at the doors. It {is}was not until {Sept}September 20 that his persistence (and growing anger which {alarms}alarmed the doorwards) {gains}gained him entrance to Théoden, warning him against Saruman. Wormtongue (secretly in Saruman's service, and with great influence over the king) {is}was absent HR-SL-11.7 {for some reason} and Théodred, {[}the king's son{]}, {is}was more favorable to Gandalf; so Théoden {is}was troubled but {will}would not make up his mind. He {says}said he {will}would speak of it again next day. But on the next day, the 21 of September, Wormtongue {reappears}reappeared. It was really for him that Théoden waited (since he {has}had become enthralled by his counsel).
Wormtongue {now opposes}then opposed Gandalf as Théoden {bids}bade him begone next morning: it then being late in the day. ({W'tongue}[Wormtongue] (as {G.}[Gandalf] {guesses}guessed or {knows}knew) {sends}sent off a messenger to Isengard that night. But the messenger even with utmost haste {does}did not reach Saruman until late on the 24 of {[}September{]}. It {is}was about 250 miles from Edoras to Isengard.)
Gandalf {says}said that this {is}was ill-treatment which Théoden {will}would rue. He {does}did not understand the urgency of the times. He {mentions}mentioned the dreadful rumors of the passage of the Black Riders which have terrified all Rohan. Now,’ said Gandalf, ‘if no one else dare oppose these evil things, I dare. But not on foot. One might look for aid in such business from a great king, lord of horses. Then Théoden rashly {exclaims}exclaimed: {why}’Why, take any horse you wish - and begone! This {is}was much to dislike of {W'tongue}[Wormtongue] but Théoden {is}was reluctant to take back his word, and Théodred {opposes W'tongue}opposed Wormtongue, saying that a king {cannot}could not do so even to a beggar, but that for his part he {thinks}thought more honor and heed should be paid to Gandalf Greyhame.
So on 22 {[}September{]} Gandalf {leaves}left Edoras and {goes}went to the horse-sheds. (They {are}were some way from Edoras. Gandalf {does}did not get there until evening{?}) There he {sees}saw Shadowfax, and {decides}decided to have him alone. {S'fax}[Shadowfax] {is}was wild wary and unwilling, and {walks}walked away whenever Gandalf {approaches}approached. It {is}was not till late on the 22 that {S'fax will}Shadowfax would allow Gandalf to come up and speak to him; and not until Sept 23rd that he {is}was tamed and {will}would allow Gandalf to ride off. Gandalf {sets}set off 6 pm 23rd of September.>
HR-SL-11.7: I removed this because in the narrative before this addition, it says that Wormtongue was still on his way back to Rohan from Isengard at the time of Gandalf's escape, so we don't need to say 'for some reason,' as we have already given the reason.
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Old 07-15-2018, 08:41 AM   #6
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HR-SL-11.5: Godd find! I agree, so I think we should edit it in on place a bit different:
Quote:
Gandalf {says}said that this {is}was ill-treatment which Théoden {will}would rue{. He does}, and that Theoden did not understand the urgency of the times. He {mentions}mentioned the dreadful rumors of the passage of the Black Riders which have terrified all Rohan. ...
To the issue with the structure I will come back, when I have analysed the next chapter in more detail.

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Old 07-15-2018, 10:04 AM   #7
ArcusCalion
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Agreed to the editing change, and I await your restructuring proposal.
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