Crazy Captions - Page 232 - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Eomer of the Rohirrim · 01-17-2006, 04:19 PM

Palantir use took forever in Isengard, because Saruman was easily distracted by his outrageously handsome reflection.

davem · 01-17-2006, 04:33 PM

Saruman: 'Ah, Grima, well done! My favourite - prairie oyster!'

Grima: 'Er, well, master, there weren't any bulls about, but I found this dead warg....

Elu Ancalime · 01-17-2006, 06:25 PM

Sauruman to Gandalf: "Ha! Now that I've switched my plan to Pallan-tel, I can use this Palantir on top of Orthanc and not have to worry about fell beasts and horses disturbing the signal!!!"

Gandalf: "Puuushaw. I got a camera and textmessaging on my staff when I went to White."

Sauruman: "Curse capitalism and technology!!"

Gandalf: "You invented both of those."
________
FORD AXOD TRANSMISSION SPECIFICATIONS

Hookbill the Goomba · 01-18-2006, 12:57 AM

Saruman catches Sauron at a bad time.

Sauron: Awww. But I was going to send out legions today!

Sauron's mother: Not until you've tidied this room, young Maiar!

Sauron: Not fair!

Nilpaurion Felagund · 01-18-2006, 03:00 AM

Éomer pic

Éomer: I am pretty, oh so pretty . . .

Hobbits pic

Frodo: I left my heart in San Fransisco . . .

Saruman pic

Sauron: Sing once again with me, our strange duet. My power over you, grows stronger yet. And though you turn from me, to glance behind, the Phantom of the Black Tower is there, inside your mind.

gralin musicteeth · 01-18-2006, 08:37 AM

Saruman consults the Palantir to find out how to get his pointy staff removed from the side of his head.

mormegil · 01-18-2006, 01:36 PM

Another telemarketer contacts Sauraman at a bad time.

"No I am not interested in you credit card nor saving money on long distance!"

Maeggaladiel · 01-18-2006, 01:41 PM

Tired of rings and uruk-hai, Saruman creates his greatest invention yet: The One Paperweight To Rule Them All. All he had to do now was create twenty more and dupe the leaders of each race to accept one as a gift...

OR

Saruman loved the Garden Decoration of the Month Club. Last month he got a free garden gnome, and this month he recieved the perfect gazing ball to sit in the fountain by the back porch!

narfforc · 01-18-2006, 02:11 PM

"See how clever I am Gandalf, I have invented the first Videophone. Behold my marvelous PAL Hand T.V, The Seeing-phone of Orthanc.

Big screens and loud rings
With polytones three
How good it is, to have at hand
A thing with which to see
Seven styles of seven phones
With one its tariff free

Hookbill the Goomba · 01-18-2006, 02:45 PM

He's got the whole world in his hands.

Or

Crown Green Bowling was a little known pass time of Saruman's.

Lalwendë · 01-18-2006, 05:11 PM

Saruman groaned with fatigue as he struggled to lift the last marble into the tower of the giant Ker-plunk set at the Isengard Tavern.

Farael · 01-18-2006, 05:55 PM

Saruman: At last... my greatest invention yet. A Balrog seed! just add a big ol' mountain, some mitrhil, lots of greedy dwarves and after an age or two... Voila!!! Balrog.

Disclaimer: Balrogs are not assured to have wings... but then, it is not certain they lack them either.

The Elf-warrior · 01-18-2006, 06:01 PM

Saruman: "Good job, Sauron, tying Arwen's fate to the Ring. Muhahahha!"

Elu Ancalime · 01-18-2006, 07:37 PM

Denethor: "Hobbit, are you just going to give me the puppy dog eyes all day?" <sigh> "Come have some beefroast."
________
Honda ns500

Gil-Galad · 01-18-2006, 08:13 PM

Denethor: You shall get a Shrubbery! a nice one, not to plump, oh and not to expensive!

Glirdan · 01-18-2006, 09:28 PM

Denethor: Pippin, this scene looks odly familiar.

Pippin: It does indeed My Lord, but I can't quite place my finger on where I have seen this?

narfforc · 01-18-2006, 10:40 PM

Denethor: Why have I got cold chicken when I wanted it fried.

Pippin; Someone has stolen all the oil my Lord.

Denethor: Then couldn't it be warmed up

Pippin: Sorry my Lord but someone stole the wood also

Denethor: Ok, Ok, but make sure no-one steals the matches

THE Ka · 01-18-2006, 11:52 PM

When it seemed that Denethor wasn't taking his pills, Sidney Taurel sent in Pippin with a syringe...

~ Ka

Hookbill the Goomba · 01-19-2006, 12:49 AM

Pippin's starring contest with the cup enters its fourth day.

OR

Denethor: That jug just said 'good morning'. Stupid thing, its afternoon. Guards, have this jug whipped.

Farael · 01-19-2006, 01:34 AM

Denethor: Pippin for the hundreth time!! My servants have spent HOURS setting the table for it to be ready for the painting that is being taken... no, you may NOT have just a little taste of the chicken!

Gurthang · 01-19-2006, 02:53 AM

Pippin informs Denethor that he has recieved the most votes and will be lynched.
Denethor: "Ah, at least I'll die full."

OR

Denethor realizes that the last thing he just stuffed into his mouth was actually Pippin's ear!

Gandalf_the _white · 01-19-2006, 05:18 AM

Ganalf(off screen): Pippin offering his services to Denethor is one thing but pretending to love him!! Sheesh!!
Pippin:Who's pretending!!

(Sigh)
(Every one faints)
Pippin: At last!! I can get a bit of that food!!! Now, wheres my pipe?

Hookbill the Goomba · 01-19-2006, 08:27 AM

Denethor: No, Pippin, for the last time, you can't drive Minas Tirith!

OR

Denethor: Not now, Gandalf, I'm eating.

Kath · 01-19-2006, 08:46 AM

Pippin wonders whether that goblet will explode if he stares at it long enough.

The Only Real Estel · 01-19-2006, 09:03 AM

Somewhat paraphrased from one of the books...

Butcher off camera: “Well, so much for that beast. The nerve of it offering me gifts for not killing it!? Why that stag...” Denethor felt like he had just eaten a human for he was not eating a regular beast but the meat of a talking stag – a Narnian beast!

Oddwen · 01-19-2006, 09:13 AM

Young wizard children always have the most fun with their fathers.

S: C'mon little Curunir, catch the fiery ball...there's my boy!

Meela · 01-19-2006, 11:20 AM

Pippin wonders if he should point out that Denethor's sleeve is dangling in the gravy.

OR

Pippin's revenge was merciless - he'd emptied the whole pot of pepper onto that plate.

The Only Real Estel · 01-19-2006, 11:29 AM

With unrivled concentration and singleness of purpose, Denethor leaned forward, cocked his head slightly to the left...then slightly to the right...then fell forward and puked all over the table.

mormegil · 01-19-2006, 04:27 PM

Denethor doesn't quite know how to respond after Pippin had the audacity to ask him for a piggy-back ride.

Kitanna · 01-19-2006, 05:01 PM

Burping the ABC's always wore Denethor out, but it completely impressed Pippin.

The Elf-warrior · 01-19-2006, 07:15 PM

Denethor: "Pippin my boy, tonight you will join the night watch. Dogberry will show you the ropes."

Elu Ancalime · 01-19-2006, 07:48 PM

Denethor: <Pauses from eating> -sigh- Youd think being a Steward the food would be high quality. Sooner or later they will start calling it Minas Tofu. Sir Hobbit, fetch some beef, its whats for dinner.
________
Mazda Capella History

narfforc · 01-20-2006, 08:07 AM

Denethor to Pippin: Next time I send you for fast food, just get the Bargain Bucket I asked for, and not this Hobbit Light Lunch.

Anguirel · 01-20-2006, 08:29 AM

This new delicacy-live Hobbit-from Eriador was so endearing Denethor almost didn't have the heart to eat it...

Hookbill the Goomba · 01-20-2006, 08:53 AM

Denethor: *nibbles a bit of food* that's it, I'm full. Throw the rest away.

Pippin:

Nooo!

OR

Denethor: Can you sing, master Hobbit?

Pippin: No. Well, yes. Well enough for my own people.

Denethor: Never mind then. Its probably rubbish.

mormegil · 01-20-2006, 09:12 AM

Pippin: Oopps...excuse me Lord!

The Only Real Estel · 01-20-2006, 10:17 AM

Denethor decides to compete in the AWSSC (Annual Watermelon Seed-Spitting Contest).

narfforc · 01-20-2006, 11:59 AM

Pippin is thinking to himself, how well Denethor has stripped the meat from the large bone sat on the edge of the table.

Maeggaladiel · 01-20-2006, 02:04 PM

Denethor: *Sigh* He's just like a stray dog. Feed him once, and he'll never go away. What, he expects to eat EVERY DAY?

OR

Pippin had problems serving Denethor after the Steward placed a restraining order on him. Now he couldn't get within ten feet of the dinner table without the Guards jumping him.

Boromir88 · 01-20-2006, 02:55 PM

Pippin fears Denethor is losing his mind as he keeps babbling on about this Finduilas...

Denethor: Well, dear how about you try some of the cherry tomatoes. They're quite plump....What do you mean I ruined your appetite for cherry tomatoes?

OR...

(continuing with tomatoes)...

Denethor: Tell me master hobbit is it tomatoe or tomotoe?

Pippin: Tomotoe.

Denethor: Jeesh...and I suppose you think it's pototoe too.

01-17-2006, 04:19 PM	#9241
Eomer of the Rohirrim Auspicious Wraith Join Date: May 2002 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 4,992	Palantir use took forever in Isengard, because Saruman was easily distracted by his outrageously handsome reflection. __________________ Los Ingobernables de Harlond

01-17-2006, 04:33 PM	#9242
davem Illustrious Ulair Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: In the home of lost causes, and forsaken beliefs, and unpopular names,and impossible loyalties Posts: 4,256	Saruman: 'Ah, Grima, well done! My favourite - prairie oyster!' Grima: 'Er, well, master, there weren't any bulls about, but I found this dead warg.... __________________ “Everything was an object. If you killed a dwarf you could use it as a weapon – it was no different to other large heavy objects."

01-17-2006, 06:25 PM	#9243
Elu Ancalime Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Anador Posts: 479	Sauruman to Gandalf: "Ha! Now that I've switched my plan to Pallan-tel, I can use this Palantir on top of Orthanc and not have to worry about fell beasts and horses disturbing the signal!!!" Gandalf: "Puuushaw. I got a camera and textmessaging on my staff when I went to White." Sauruman: "Curse capitalism and technology!!" Gandalf: "You invented both of those." ________ FORD AXOD TRANSMISSION SPECIFICATIONS Last edited by Elu Ancalime; 03-03-2011 at 10:43 PM.

01-18-2006, 12:57 AM	#9244
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 6,153	Eye see thee! Saruman catches Sauron at a bad time. Sauron: Awww. But I was going to send out legions today! Sauron's mother: Not until you've tidied this room, young Maiar! Sauron: Not fair! __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

01-18-2006, 03:00 AM	#9245
Nilpaurion Felagund Scion of The Faithful Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: The brink, where hope and despair are akin. [The Philippines] Posts: 5,430	Musical? *Éomer pic* Éomer: I am pretty, oh so pretty . . . *Hobbits pic* Frodo: I left my heart in San Fransisco . . . *Saruman pic* Sauron: Sing once again with me, our strange duet. My power over you, grows stronger yet. And though you turn from me, to glance behind, the Phantom of the Black Tower is there, inside your mind. __________________ フェンリス鴨 (Fenrisu Kamo) The plot, cut, defeated. I intend to copy this sig forever - so far so good... Last edited by Nilpaurion Felagund; 01-18-2006 at 03:15 AM. Reason: coding conniptions

01-18-2006, 08:37 AM	#9246
gralin musicteeth Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Tossing half-sick between grotesque reality and savage, frightening dreams Posts: 384	Saruman consults the Palantir to find out how to get his pointy staff removed from the side of his head. __________________ Where was the stooped and mealy-coloured old man I used to call Poppa when the merry-go-round broke down?

01-18-2006, 01:36 PM	#9247
mormegil Maundering Mage Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Texas Posts: 4,679	Another telemarketer contacts Sauraman at a bad time. "No I am not interested in you credit card nor saving money on long distance!" __________________ When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators. -- P. J. O'Rourke

01-18-2006, 01:41 PM	#9248
Maeggaladiel Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: The end of the world as we know it. I feel fine, incidentally. Posts: 512	Tired of rings and uruk-hai, Saruman creates his greatest invention yet: The One Paperweight To Rule Them All. All he had to do now was create twenty more and dupe the leaders of each race to accept one as a gift... OR Saruman loved the Garden Decoration of the Month Club. Last month he got a free garden gnome, and this month he recieved the perfect gazing ball to sit in the fountain by the back porch! __________________ "Wide ne bith wel," cwaeth se the geheirde on helle hriman.

01-18-2006, 02:11 PM	#9249
narfforc Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Muddy-earth Posts: 1,307	"See how clever I am Gandalf, I have invented the first Videophone. Behold my marvelous PAL Hand T.V, The Seeing-phone of Orthanc. Big screens and loud rings With polytones three How good it is, to have at hand A thing with which to see Seven styles of seven phones With one its tariff free

01-18-2006, 02:45 PM	#9250
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 6,153	He's got the whole world in his hands. Or Crown Green Bowling was a little known pass time of Saruman's. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

01-18-2006, 05:11 PM	#9251
Lalwendë A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed Posts: 4,814	Saruman groaned with fatigue as he struggled to lift the last marble into the tower of the giant Ker-plunk set at the Isengard Tavern. __________________ Gordon's alive!

01-18-2006, 05:55 PM	#9252
Farael Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: In hospitals, call rooms and (rarely) my apartment. Posts: 1,549	Saruman: At last... my greatest invention yet. A Balrog seed! just add a big ol' mountain, some mitrhil, lots of greedy dwarves and after an age or two... Voila!!! Balrog. Disclaimer: Balrogs are not assured to have wings... but then, it is not certain they lack them either. __________________ I prepared Explosive Runes this morning.

01-18-2006, 06:01 PM	#9253
The Elf-warrior Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Virginia. Posts: 952	Saruman: "Good job, Sauron, tying Arwen's fate to the Ring. Muhahahha!" __________________ Fenris Wolf: WW LXXX.

01-18-2006, 07:37 PM	#9254
Elu Ancalime Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Anador Posts: 479	Sauruman: "I see Denethor, I see Uruk-Hai, I see Denethor eating Thai!" Denethor: "Hobbit, are you just going to give me the puppy dog eyes all day?" <sigh> "Come have some beefroast." ________ Honda ns500 Last edited by Elu Ancalime; 03-03-2011 at 10:43 PM.

01-18-2006, 08:13 PM	#9255
Gil-Galad Psyche of Prince Immortal Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Above a Parapet Obvious exits are: North, South, and Dennis Posts: 5,054	Denethor: You shall get a Shrubbery! a nice one, not to plump, oh and not to expensive! __________________ Love doesn't blow up and get killed.

01-18-2006, 09:28 PM	#9256
Glirdan Energetic Essence Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Where Lark Nor Eagle Ever Flew Posts: 3,449	Denethor: Pippin, this scene looks odly familiar. Pippin: It does indeed My Lord, but I can't quite place my finger on where I have seen this? __________________ *I'm going to buy you a kitty, I'm going to let you fall in love with the kitty, and one cold, winter night, I'm going to steal into your house and punch you in the face!* Fenris Wolf

01-18-2006, 10:40 PM	#9257
narfforc Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Muddy-earth Posts: 1,307	Denethor: Why have I got cold chicken when I wanted it fried. Pippin; Someone has stolen all the oil my Lord. Denethor: Then couldn't it be warmed up Pippin: Sorry my Lord but someone stole the wood also Denethor: Ok, Ok, but make sure no-one steals the matches

01-18-2006, 11:52 PM	#9258
THE Ka Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: As with the flygja Posts: 1,612	... Sidney strikes again When it seemed that Denethor wasn't taking his pills, Sidney Taurel sent in Pippin with a syringe... ~ Ka __________________ Vinur, vinur skilur tú meg? Veitst tú ongan loyniveg? Hevur tú reikað líka sum eg, í endaleysu tokuni?

01-19-2006, 12:49 AM	#9259
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 6,153	I'm sure we've done this before! Pippin's starring contest with the cup enters its fourth day. OR Denethor: That jug just said 'good morning'. Stupid thing, its afternoon. Guards, have this jug whipped. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

01-19-2006, 01:34 AM	#9260
Farael Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: In hospitals, call rooms and (rarely) my apartment. Posts: 1,549	Denethor: Pippin for the hundreth time!! My servants have spent HOURS setting the table for it to be ready for the painting that is being taken... no, you may NOT have just a little taste of the chicken! __________________ I prepared Explosive Runes this morning.

01-19-2006, 02:53 AM	#9261
Gurthang Sword of Spirit Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Oh, I'm around. Posts: 1,507	Pippin informs Denethor that he has recieved the most votes and will be lynched. Denethor: "Ah, at least I'll die full." OR Denethor realizes that the last thing he just stuffed into his mouth was actually Pippin's ear! __________________ I'm on a Mission from God.

01-19-2006, 05:18 AM	#9262
Gandalf_the _white Wight Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: In crazy captions waving an angry fist at the outside world Posts: 155	wooo my 50th post!!!! Ganalf(off screen): Pippin offering his services to Denethor is one thing but pretending to love him!! Sheesh!! Pippin:Who's pretending!! (Sigh) (Every one faints) Pippin: At last!! I can get a bit of that food!!! Now, wheres my pipe?

01-19-2006, 08:27 AM	#9263
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 6,153	Denethor: No, Pippin, for the last time, you can't drive Minas Tirith! OR Denethor: Not now, Gandalf, I'm eating. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

01-19-2006, 08:46 AM	#9264
Kath Everlasting Whiteness Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Perusing the laminated book of dreams Posts: 4,725	Pippin wonders whether that goblet will explode if he stares at it long enough. __________________ “If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.”

01-19-2006, 09:03 AM	#9265
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 3,025	Narnia/LotR Somewhat paraphrased from one of the books... Butcher off camera: “Well, so much for that beast. The nerve of it offering me gifts for not killing it!? Why that stag...” Denethor felt like he had just eaten a human for he was not eating a regular beast but the meat of a talking stag – a Narnian beast!

01-19-2006, 09:13 AM	#9266
Oddwen Drummer in the Deep Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Next Sunday A.D. Posts: 2,246	For the Saruman pic: Young wizard children always have the most fun with their fathers. S: C'mon little Curunir, catch the fiery ball...there's my boy! __________________ But all the while I sit and think of times there were before I listen for returning feet and voices at the door

01-19-2006, 11:20 AM	#9267
Meela Denethor's True Love Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Mirkwood. With Thranduil... swoon Posts: 2,118	Pippin wonders if he should point out that Denethor's sleeve is dangling in the gravy. OR Pippin's revenge was merciless - he'd emptied the whole pot of pepper onto that plate. __________________ 'The Hobbit' 1st impressions: 1. Thorin is hot... Oh god, I fancy a dwarf. 2. Thranduil is hotter. 3. Is that... Figwit! 4. Does Elijah Wood never age? 2nd: It's all about Fili & Kili, really. 3rd: BARD! OMG, Bard.

01-19-2006, 11:29 AM	#9268
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 3,025	With unrivled concentration and singleness of purpose, Denethor leaned forward, cocked his head slightly to the left...then slightly to the right...then fell forward and puked all over the table.

01-19-2006, 04:27 PM	#9269
mormegil Maundering Mage Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Texas Posts: 4,679	Denethor doesn't quite know how to respond after Pippin had the audacity to ask him for a piggy-back ride. __________________ When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators. -- P. J. O'Rourke

01-19-2006, 05:01 PM	#9270
Kitanna Child of the West Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Watching President Fillmore ride a unicorn Posts: 2,390	Burping the ABC's always wore Denethor out, but it completely impressed Pippin. __________________ "Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry." - Mark Twain

01-19-2006, 07:15 PM	#9271
The Elf-warrior Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Virginia. Posts: 952	Denethor: "Pippin my boy, tonight you will join the night watch. Dogberry will show you the ropes." __________________ Fenris Wolf: WW LXXX.

01-19-2006, 07:48 PM	#9272
Elu Ancalime Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Anador Posts: 479	Denethor: <Pauses from eating> -sigh- Youd think being a Steward the food would be high quality. Sooner or later they will start calling it Minas Tofu. Sir Hobbit, fetch some beef, its whats for dinner. ________ Mazda Capella History Last edited by Elu Ancalime; 03-03-2011 at 10:44 PM.

01-20-2006, 08:07 AM	#9273
narfforc Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Muddy-earth Posts: 1,307	Denethor to Pippin: Next time I send you for fast food, just get the Bargain Bucket I asked for, and not this Hobbit Light Lunch.

01-20-2006, 08:29 AM	#9274
Anguirel Byronic Brand Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: The 1590s Posts: 2,825	This new delicacy-live Hobbit-from Eriador was so endearing Denethor almost didn't have the heart to eat it... __________________ Among the friendly dead, being bad at games did not seem to matter -Il Lupo Fenriso

01-20-2006, 08:53 AM	#9275
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 6,153	Denethor: nibbles a bit of food that's it, I'm full. Throw the rest away. Pippin: Nooo! OR Denethor: Can you sing, master Hobbit? Pippin: No. Well, yes. Well enough for my own people. Denethor: Never mind then. Its probably rubbish. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...