Survivor: Surviving the Minor Works

[Bêthberry]

Originally Posted by The Saucepan Man

But my dear Bb, old bean, I was simply trying to avoid offending those delicate vegetarian sensibilities of which you spoke. Sacred sausages would not do at all.

Sacre bleu!

Tabernac! Whimpeys doesn't serve veggie burgers and soya sausages? Are we left then with the sacred Baldrick?

[Elu Ancalime]

++ Smith of Wootton Major

The one whom I owe allegence to has called me....oathkeeper, I am!

I think Tolkien might have been bored when he was righting this one, and ripped off The Adventure of Link, Halo (Master Cook!?) and Feast of Good Children is definetly straight from Santa Claus' early ideas and experiments. Let's git rid of the (as we say in the 'Souf',) "bo-bo brand.
________
Glass bubblers

[The Only Real Estel]

++ Smith

Mainly to prevent a Smith/Giles showdown because that would be a horrible groaner.

And should Smith go I, at the very least, will have SpM's vote against Long-Name tomorrow...

[Alcarillo]

++Gram

A dog on a medieval farm is certain not to have all of the proper shots. God knows what horrible diseases the animal carries. I wouldn't be surprised if half the contestants have rabies by now.

[Diamond18]

It was a banger of a day -- reinforcements were summoned on both sides, and the mod actually had to write the votes down instead of counting them on her fingers. Like, work.


Smith of Wootton Major: 9 votes

Gram: 8 votes

Queen of Faerie: 1 vote


And so, as Sauce gave a delirious whoop for joy, Smith was trussed up like a chicken and given a sound drubbing with saucepans, frying pans, soup pans, and those fun leather whips with the ball bearings and sharp tacks woven in. He fell to the ground, whimpering, "I just wanted to eat cake," before he bled out his life upon the Watchers Rock. His heart was removed and used for some vile purpose that involved hula dancing and ritual cannibalism.

Ang leered nastily at the weeping widow, Nell, and Smith's supporters gnashed their teeth, vowing revenge.


Day the Thirty-Fifth finds 8 contestants remaining:


Those Who Belong to Faerie

Goldberry
Alf the Prentice, King of Faerie
Queen of Faerie
Chrysophylax Dives

Those Who Don't

Ægidius Ahenobarbus Julius Agricola de Hammo (Farmer Giles of Ham)
Gram, his dog
The Parson
Nell

[Anguirel]

Excellent. Now let's hang that unpleasant dog...

++GRAM adding insult to injury mode

[Formendacil]

Originally Posted by Anguirel

Excellent. Now let's hang that unpleasant dog...

++GRAM adding insult to injury mode

Gram?

Fie on you, Anguirel, to abandon so soon your standings of old.

I who played Kingmaker yesterday shall try my hand at it again. To the vote of Nell, I summon thee!

++ Nell

If nothing else, watching the broken remnants of the Pro-Smith party make a ruckus of defending his widow should be interesting.

[tom bombariffic]

you won't make me give up that easily.

++ QUEEN OF FAERIE

Right, you can all see that I personally don't like her. But think about it! She's manipulating, a temptress, practically a kidnapper. A very bad influence.

There's a word for people like that. Jailbait.

Do the right thing.

bombariffic

[Celuien]

I told you that Diamond would kill Smith if he got voted off.

Now, what's the best way to take my revenge?

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Mercy! Mercenaries upon us! Where did all the voters come from so suddenly?

Fie upon not-so-bombariffic tom - blaming the woman for the man's situation is an excuse that goes all the way back to the Garden of Eden!

Now, which choice to make today - I could continue voting for Gram, thereby risking being considered boring...

Nell and the Parson are the other least important characters...

As the latter said, "A little closer inspection will be required."

[tom bombariffic]

well as a woman you ought to be perfectly aware of your potential for influence and the immorality of abusing it.

Poor little smith, he didn't know what had hit him.

Das Uber-Bombariffic Tom

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Huh?? Only the person doing something is responsible for his actions, no one else!

You overestimate my potential.

[tom bombariffic]

You're making it very hard for me to keep mistrusting the queen!

please let me sit at home and nurse my dislike in peace. Stop being so persuasive, you're like the queen...so I suppose that means I'm to blame...

I'm getting confused now. Think I need to sit down and eat a sandwich.

bombariffic

[Anguirel]

For reasons that I shall for the moment conceal I will not be party to the eviction of Nell.

However I do agree that, purely because of the surfeit yesterday, my ailurophile attack on Gram lacks novelty.

--GRAM, ++THE PARSON

I've detested this religious bigot ever since he stirred up the mob against the unfortunate Persian Artaxerxes...

[The Saucepan Man]

Hehe. I knew that this would start to become interesting once Smith was knocked out. The outcome of the show is now a lot less certain and a number of interesting issues are raised. Will the Smithsonians coalesce around a single alternative candidate or will they be reduced to rancour and petty squabbling without their sacred (veggie) sausage to rally round? How will the opposing factions and the independents react? Will the Alliance of DOOM put in a return appearance? Will anyone ever understand what Ang is trying to achieve? Will Celuien be avenged? Does bombariffic's deep-seated dislike of the Faerie Queen stem from an unfortunate episode in his childhood? All these quesions and more will be answered over the coming days. And so the show is beginning to catch the vewing public's imagination once more. I shall be rendering a modest fee for saving the show in due course, Diamond.

Originally Posted by Celuien

Now, what's the best way to take my revenge?

There isn't one, as far as I am concerned, I am afraid. You see, that's the beauty of not having a favoured candidate. My only aim was to evict Smith, so I'm happy whatever the outcome now.

Originally Posted by Esty

Mercy! Mercenaries upon us! Where did all the voters come from so suddenly?

Aha! Nobody expects the Alliance of DOOM! Our chief weapon is surprise ... surprise and fear ... fear and surprise ... Our two weapons are fear and surprise ... and ruthless efficiency ... etc etc

Sorry, but desperate times called for desperate measures. And I see that the so-called League of Extraordinary Downers was called upon too. Happily, the Alliance prevailed once more.

As for my vote, well I must honour my pledge to The Only Real Estel (thanks, by the way, TORE ):

+ + Ægidius Ahenobarbus Julius Agricola de Hammo

I quite like the old chap, but a promise is a promise. And title characters always make fun evictees. Oh yeah, and he has an improbably long and inexcusably Latin name.

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Aha! Nobody expects the Alliance of DOOM! Our chief weapon is surprise ... surprise and fear ... fear and surprise ... Our two weapons are fear and surprise ... and ruthless efficiency ...

And an almost fanatical devotion to the pope!

And for any who oppose the eviction of
+ + Ægidius Ahenobarbus Julius Agricola de Hammo (Farmer Giles of Ham)

Put them on the rack and give the rack a turn!!!
Hahahahahahaha!

[Celuien]

Originally Posted by The Saucepan Man

There isn't one, as far as I am concerned, I am afraid. You see, that's the beauty of not having a favoured candidate. My only aim was to evict Smith, so I'm happy whatever the outcome now.

Unfortunately for me, I think that's entirely true. My only method against you is to oppose any campaign you start, which isn't all that satisfying. So I won't bother.

Now Anguirel, who was also a culprit in Smith's demise, is more likely to be irritated by any future scheming. I think I'll focus my efforts on thwarting him.

Save The Parson!

++ Ægidius Ahenobarbus Julius Agricola de Hammo (Farmer Giles of Ham)

How in Middle-earth has this anakronism wielding imposter survived so long?

[littlemanpoet]

Originally Posted by Diamond18

...before he bled out his life upon the Watchers Rock

Hey! That's my tale!

Smith's supporters gnashed their teeth, vowing revenge.

Indeed. You will pay.

++ Giles

Let's whip the boy, the usurper, the liar and thief. Not to mention his smarts was in his gut, seat, and hand instead of his head.

[Anguirel]

Unlike some, I do not jealously cling onto hegemony and success, attempting a monopoly of my candidates.

Lady Celuien, you have my full support. However, I would appreciate a movement against the turbulent priest tomorrow.

--THE PARSON, ++FARMER GILES OF HAM

[Diamond18]

Originally Posted by littlemanpoet

Hey! That's my tale!

Well, are you not Smith?

Will anyone ever understand what Ang is trying to achieve?

I know exactly why Ang won't vote for Nell anymore... and it makes me giggle. The boy is so easy to mess with.

[Anguirel]

Let's wait for things to progress to see who's been messed with, alright, almighty Moddess?

[Diamond18]

Oooooookay. I predict you'll be voting for Chrys eventually, purely to tick me off. Prove me wrong.



Forgot to reply to this:

Originally Posted by SpM

I shall be rendering a modest fee for saving the show in due course, Diamond.

Oh do ye, now? So where's MY payment for that lovely death of Smith you were so looking forward to?

[Estelyn Telcontar]

How monotonously predictable the voting is today! A few scattered alternatives, and already a majority for Giles. Well, just to do "something completely different", I shall vote for someone who has not been mentioned today:

++Alf Prentice, King of Faerie

[The Saucepan Man]

Originally Posted by Esty

How monotonously predictable the voting is today!

The difference, however, is that these votes have all been prompted by different motives. I am honouring the pledge I made yesterday, Tuor has always had it in for Giles, Celuien thinks she's avenging herself on Ang, Elempi is just lashing out and Ang ... well, who knows what Ang is up to?

On prior days, the majority vote has generally been directed towards a single purpose: SOS (save our Smith).

It all bodes marvellously well for forthcoming days and, indeed, the final. And how wonderful the prospect of eliminating the last surviving title character is.



(Btw Di, Ang likes Dragons. Though whether he considers Chrys a "proper" Dragon, I know not. For my own part, I merely question his presence in the Faerie team. He was far too practical and pragmatic a Dragon to be a true Faerie creature. Faerie by birth maybe, but not be nature. )

[Diamond18]

My Faerie/Not-Faerie classifications are entirely random and based on whims. And a desire to have to two tribes of equal number.

I know Ang likes dragons, that's why a vote for Chrys would merely be for spite.

[littlemanpoet]

Originally Posted by Diamond18

So where's MY payment for that lovely death of Smith you were so looking forward to?

Lovely? Your tastes are indeed questionable. But you have given me an idea for my revenge.

[Celuien]

Originally Posted by Anguirel

Lady Celuien, you have my full support. However, I would appreciate a movement against the turbulent priest tomorrow.

What, you vote for my death, then ask for my support? I find that a difficult option to accept. Very difficult. I'm afraid I won't be able to join you tomorrow unless I am forced to out of necessity.

I'm not telling what that situation would comprise that necessity.

[tom bombariffic]

childhood schmildhood, I have my reasons. And I will not be subject to any more vile speculation thank you very much.

And Estelyn, voting for the KING OF FAERIE? What did he do wrong? Methinks you're just being confrontational. Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry-a-dillo.

I stand by my choice. And when she finally goes, the satisfaction will be all the sweeter.

bombariffic

[The Only Real Estel]

++ Ægidius Ahenobarbus Julius Agricola de Hammo (Farmer Giles of Ham)

If I've said it once (which I have) I've said it a thousand times (which I also have), I'll not waste space & time repeating myself now.

Thanks to SpM for actually honoring his agreement (hey, this is Survivor, remember ). Not that he doesn't have time to change it still...

[The Saucepan Man]

Originally Posted by TORE

Thanks to SpM for actually honoring his agreement ...

You mean you expected me not to ...

Ah well, in that case ...

No. I'll stick with my vote. While I like Giles as a character and find his tale to be the best of the Minors, I prefer to vote in a way which enlivens the game than purely according to my tastes. It amuses me to see most of the major minor characters go down and I think it is likely to make for a more interesting finale.

Besides, it doesn't look like it would make much difference now.

And I was truly grateful for your vote yesterday.

[Bêthberry]

My! Someone I haven't yet voted for. I must correct this oversight. Or, in the immortal words of many a WWII submarine adventure: dive, dive, dive!

+ + Chrysophylax Dives

[Alcarillo]

Down with the Latin-naméd blunderbuss-brandisher!

++Ægidius Ahenobarbus Julius Agricola de Hammo (Farmer Giles of Ham)

After all those days of voting for him, I finally get to see his head on the chopping block...

[Formendacil]

What a deadly boring day...

Say what you like, man of many Saucepans, but this blind coalition of Giles-voters are dead boring. Where is the suspence in a predetermined race?

Sauce at least has a good excuse... but most of you? Pathetic.

Alas, but there is virtually nobody to join with to form even an attempt at a counter-bandwaggon. But I shall try- for the sake of interest.

-- Nell, ++ Alf, King of Faerie

I too have memories of Alien Alf- and I was an easily scared child at the time...

[Gurthang]

Hello!

Just thought I'd jump in to join the bandwagon!

++Ægidius Ahenobarbus Julius Agricola de Hammo (Farmer Giles of Ham)

++And your little dog, too! ( )

Oh, guess I can't do that.

--his little dog, Gram

I best stick around; got to make sure Bêthberry doesn't off my personal favorite!

[Diamond18]

Ægidius Ahenobarbus Julius Agricola de Hammo (Farmer Giles of Ham) - 8 votes

Alf the Prentice, King of Faerie: 1 vote

Queen of Faerie: 1 vote

Chrysophylax Dives: 1 vote

And so, The Only Real Estel gleefully shot Giles with his own blunderbuss. However, the wound was not fatal, so Alcarillo assigned him to Mordor for anakronistic usage of said blunderbuss. (Giles, not TORE.)


Day the Thirty-Sixth finds 7 contestants remaining:

Also, I've rearranged the tribes on a whim:


The Dudes:

Alf the Prentice, King of Faerie
The Parson


The Chicks:

Goldberry
Queen of Faerie
Nell


The Beasties:

Gram
Chrysophylax Dives

[Formendacil]

Okay, the "chicks" really do need culling. Let's even out this field a little...

And the dullest of the lot is clearly Nell.

++ Nell

Once again into the breech....

[Celuien]

++ Chrysophylax Dives, the hypocritical dragon.

[tom bombariffic]

In the interests of protecting the lovely little dragony waggony, I'll have a crack at

++Nell

what? you didn't really think I was going to vote for the queen of Faerie again did you? Wouldn't want to irk fraulein estelyn any more than I have been.

bombariffic

[Anguirel]

++THE PARSON

A disgrace that this pedantic fundamentalist now represents 50% of the male population.

[Tuor of Gondolin]

A difficult choice between a (can he even be
called a beastie) Gram) and the preacher-----ah

+ + The Parson

since rumor has it he was seen smirking at Chrysophylax Dives
and as the proverb goes: "Never laugh at live dragons."