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Old 04-08-2002, 04:27 PM   #1
Alcarinque
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Tolkien Funny lyrics that LOTR characters would never sing

Well I am not really sure under which category to post this invention of mine... seriously, I just thought of it right now while watching MTV...

Funny lyrics that LOTR characters would never sing:

1. We've got a little world for Sauron... (sang by Frodo, Sam and Gollum... to the rythym of Westlife's "WORLD OF OUR OWN")
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Old 04-08-2002, 07:46 PM   #2
Elven-Maiden
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Sting

hehe that's a good one! [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]
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Old 04-08-2002, 11:07 PM   #3
Tigerlily Gamgee
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Silmaril

"Yo-ho-Yo-ho a Ringwraith's life for me" (following the theme to the Pirates of the Caribbean).
"Hi Ho, Hi Ho, it's off to work I go" (Sauron as he goes to Numeanor)
"There once was a story 'bout a Hobbit named Sam. He followed his master to a dark and dreary lan'. And then one day he was climbin' up Mount Doom, and helped poor Frodo with some on settin' gloom... Evil that is... One Ring... Sauron." (to the theme of the Beverly Hillbillies)
OK, that was really bad, sorry [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]
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Old 04-08-2002, 11:50 PM   #4
greyhavener
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Silmaril

Where is Weird Al when you need him?

Legolas sings: (to tune of Youth of the Nation)

We are we are the elves of Lothlorein.

Went in the creepy cave
that became the grave
of gangsta dwarves.
Kill by orcs
those evil dorks
Defending their horded gold,
Sure they were bold,
Greedy gangsta dwarves.

We are we are the elves of Lothlorien.
We are we are the elves of Lothlorien.

Followed this wiz
who was minding the biz
of hobbits and men.
Guarding the ring,
Defending the king,
Hangin' with the short guys
Swattin' Morder's flies,
Then us elves are gonna bail.

We are we are the elves of Lothlorien.
We are we are the elves of Lothlorien.
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Old 04-09-2002, 01:33 AM   #5
Bramblerose Gamgee-Took
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Hey greyhavener, I love those lyrics!.
[img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]. I can never think of funny things like that [img]smilies/frown.gif[/img]
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Old 04-09-2002, 03:51 PM   #6
Lomelinde
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Silmaril

Hee, hee, very cute! [img]smilies/tongue.gif[/img] I'm not original enough to come up with this kind of thing but if you want to see some REALLY good song spoofs from LOTR, go here They are absolutely hilarious! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]
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Old 09-02-2002, 10:16 PM   #7
Samwise_Gamgee
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"I'm black la de de la do da" (From that song that Eifel64 sings) What the nazgul sing...
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Old 09-02-2002, 10:47 PM   #8
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"The B---- Is Back", by Elton John, sung by Gandalf at the return of Sauron in FOTR.

[ September 03, 2002: Message edited by: Melichus ]
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Old 09-03-2002, 12:49 AM   #9
Kithrèna Greenarrow Legolas
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Frodo: There once was a Dwarf from Nantucket...

SORRY!!! I coulden't help Myself...BAD KITH, BAD! *Glomps self over head with an Orc*

Legolas: (To the tune of "In The End" By Linkin' Park)

One thing,
I dont know why,
I coulden't find a fly swater to get a fly,
That landed on My nose,
And it made Me blow,
Jumpin around like an ideiot,
I stumped My toe,
All I know,
Is that My hair dont look good green,
Some punk even called My Mr. Bean,
As I was up on stage,
Tryin' to get a laugh,
But in the end it gave the aduince gass.

Sam: *The tune of "high Hopes"*

Once there was a little ol' Hobbit,
The end of the world,
He thought he could stop-it,
Everyone knows a hobbit can't stop-it,
but he kept tying anyways,
Cause he had,
Hiiiigh Hopes,
He had,
Hiiigh Hopes,
He had,
High Hobbit pies in the,
Skyyy hopes.
So anytime your gettin' low,
Instead of lettin' go,
Just remember that hobbit.
Woops there gose another wor-er-er-er-rld end!

Well...I tried...
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Old 09-03-2002, 04:34 PM   #10
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Sting

that's hilarious kith!!! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]
Quote:
Jumpin around like an ideiot,
I stumped My toe,
[ September 03, 2002: Message edited by: Lady_Báin ]
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Old 09-03-2002, 04:48 PM   #11
Kithrèna Greenarrow Legolas
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Eye

Thanks...I could just imagen Legolas hopping around on one foot, craddleing the other one shouting "MY TOE, MY TOE!"
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Old 09-03-2002, 04:56 PM   #12
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From Robin Hood: Men in Tights

We're Elves!
We're Elves in tights!
We roam around the forest looking for fights.
We're Elves!
We're Elves in tights!
We take from the rich and give to the poor that's right!
We may look like sissies,
But don't get us wrong,
Or else we'll put out your lights.
We're Elves in TIGHTS!

um.....ya. [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

I can think of more, just give me a minute.
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Old 09-03-2002, 06:05 PM   #13
Kithrèna Greenarrow Legolas
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*Bends over laughing her guts out* BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! THATS HULLIERUS!

Just one question, Who sung it?

Keep up the good work!
*Faints from lack of Oxygen because she laughed to much*
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Old 09-03-2002, 06:48 PM   #14
ArwenVardaurwenEvenstar
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Tolkien

Tune Yellow Submarine Frodo's ring song
In the age when i was born
There was a ring
of power! { power!]
I've been carrying it for years
Though it's been a burden [ burden!]
We all hate sauran
who created this ring
who created this ring
we all hate sauran
who created this ring'
who created this ring

corny huh? lol cyaz
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Old 09-04-2002, 10:01 AM   #15
Robin Headstrong
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Sting

Gimli about Legolas:
Elf looks like a lady! (Aerosmith's "Dude Looks Like a Lady")

Parody of "Smooth Criminal" by Michael Jackson (remade by Alien Ant Farm)
As they rode off to Weathertop,
Sounds of screeches just wouldn't stop.
Came to the camp of the hobbits,
Sensed the Ring and tried to rob it.
He put on the Ring, his from harm,
But he was struck down, right in the arm.

Frodo are you okay?
Are you okay?
Are you okay, Frodo?
Frodo are you okay?
Are you okay?
Are you okay, Frodo?

Frodo are you okay?
Could you tell us that you're okay?
There's a sign at Weathertop
That he struck you
Screech that won't stop, Frodo!
They came into your camp
Sensed the Ring now,
Right in your camp.
Then you went and put it on, now
You were struck down,
In the arm now.

Frodo are you okay?
Are you okay?
Are you okay, Frodo?
Frodo are you okay?
Are you okay?
Are you okay, Frodo?
Frodo are you okay?
Are you okay?
Are you okay, Frodo?
You've been hit by,
You've been struck by
A Black Rider!
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Old 09-04-2002, 02:33 PM   #16
Kithrèna Greenarrow Legolas
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BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I belive Mr. Jackson coulden't have done better himself.
*Still humming "we'er Evles in tights"*

Gandalf: *To The rytem of "Amaircan Pie"*

My, My,
This here Frodo guy,
Has a ring that can destroy the world,
And the eyes of a squrill,
As he runs from Wraiths,
they all sing in sync,
"When will we ever catch this guy?
When will we ever catch this guy?"

OK, that was lame...
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Old 09-04-2002, 03:50 PM   #17
LaurinaAinur
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Sting

Fellow fanatics, LaurinaAinur thinks these songses are WAAAY too funny. ROFL!! I was in the process of looking for a tune to sing Tom Bombadil's songs and 'The Road Goes Ever On' to when I came across these...funny, huh?
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Old 09-04-2002, 03:58 PM   #18
Kithrèna Greenarrow Legolas
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Sting

Yep, tottally LaurinaAinur!

Sourn: THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH!
THOUGH IT IS SUCH A PERFECT PLACE TO START, MY LOVE! (James Bond song)

Legolas&Frodo:
THE HILLL ARE ALIVE WITH THE SOUND OF MUSIC!
WITH SONGS THEY HAVE SUNG, FOR A THOUSAND YEARS!!!!
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Old 09-04-2002, 04:18 PM   #19
galadwen29
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Pipe

sauron singing to the culture club's do you really want to hurt me?

give me time
to realize my crime
let me rule
with the ring
i see things
with my lidless eye
how can i rule freeeeeeeeeee?

do you really want to hurt me?
do you really want to make me cry?
do you really want the ring?
do you really want to make me cry?

biblo cuts in- (with gandalf)

you've been talking 'bout believe me
the magic ring's no way to go
precious ring- believe me
i don't want to let you go


how's that for a start- more soon! (i hope!)
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Old 09-05-2002, 12:30 AM   #20
Kithrèna Greenarrow Legolas
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Eye

Contenueing from galadwen29's last post

Sauron:
If its the ring you want from Me,
Then go-o,
Away.
You can't have,
This pressuise ring,
Now go-o,
awaaayyyyy,

Do you really want to hurt Me,
do you really want to make Me cry,--

Legolas&Gimly: *Cuts in*
Yes we really want to hurt you,
as a matter of fact,
we want to poke your eye, *Gimli cuts out because he can't strike high notes*
YES WE REALLY WANT TO HUUURRT YOOOUUU!!!,
YES WE REALLY WANT TO MAEKE YOU CRYYYY!!!!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Frodo *Rythem of "Here comes the rain again" By the Erithmics*

Here comes the Ring again,
Following Me like a bloody curse,
Everytime I look its in My purse...
I want to run away from it,
If I don't I think I'll have a fit.
Wanna dive into an ocean,
Perhaps then I'll get away from it

[ September 05, 2002: Message edited by: Kithrèna Greenarrow Legolas ]
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Old 09-05-2002, 04:47 PM   #21
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Okay, me and my friends love celtic music and were inspired to write a parody of Mummer's Dance by Loreena Mckennitt - it's not that great... I'm only putting the chorus and second verse...

(Chorus)
We've been runing all of the night
And sometime of this day
Now removing into Bree
We bring some wraiths so free

Who will go down to that lonely inn
And summon some pints there
And meet the ranger known as Aragorn
In the autumn of the year
The screams of the wraiths seem to fill the wood
And when the hobbits eat
All their voices can be heard
Long past the screeching gul

(Chorus)

--Elven (should be hobbit!) Mistress--
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Old 09-05-2002, 05:19 PM   #22
Kithrèna Greenarrow Legolas
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^That was wonderful!
I could imagen her singing that!

Sauron: *Take off of "I Want It That Way" by The Backstreet Boys*

You are,
My pressuisse,
My one,
Desire,
Belive,
When I say,
I want that Dam** Ring!

Tell Me why,
I can't have that bloody ring,
Tell Me why,
I can't have that pressuse Ring,
Tell Me why,
You never gonna say,
"Here, have the ring Sauron"

OK, that was lame.... [img]smilies/frown.gif[/img]
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Old 09-05-2002, 07:23 PM   #23
Minyaharmawen
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Shield

I'm luaghing so hard *falls of chair*... i'm okay
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Old 09-05-2002, 09:33 PM   #24
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JUST SOMETHING I THINK MOST GIRLS WANT TO SEE
LEGOLAS: IM TOO SEXY FOR MY SHIRT ... TOO SEXY FOR MY SHIRT... SO SEXY IT HURTS
(WHILE STRIPPING DOWN OF COURSE [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img])
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Old 09-05-2002, 09:50 PM   #25
Keeper of the Feet of Melkor
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Tolkien

I cant think of anything, but yours are great!!!
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Old 09-07-2002, 11:16 AM   #26
Maltaharma
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Sting

(To the tune of the can-can)
The Uruk-hai:
Can!
Can you serve Saruman?
Can you do his can-can?
Are you his biggest fan?
Saruman:
You better be or else your dead!
Uruk-hai:
You don't wanna be dead
Don't lose your head, head
Or else your dead
Or else you dead. Hey!
Enter Lady Orcs:
Can!
Can you do the can-can?
Orcs can do the can-can
And we'll kill Boromir
Uruk-hai:
At least that's what it says in the script!
Enter Boromir:
Sucks.
My life really sucks sucks
Orcs can't really dance dance
(Pause. All orcs glare at him)
Boromir:
But don't take it personally. AHHHHHH!
(www.geocities.com/lotrthelostdiaries)
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Old 09-07-2002, 11:18 AM   #27
Maltaharma
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Tolkien

LOL Morgul Queen, and now in the spirit of your reply...
Saruman: I'm too sexy for my-
Entire LOTR Cast: STOP!!!!
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Old 09-07-2002, 11:20 AM   #28
Maltaharma
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Sting

Sauron, singing to the tune of Home on the Range, being backed up by Riders on kazoos and banjos
Oh give me my ring
So I don't have to sing
And everyone can go and die
I'll take over the land
And kill Saruman
And he'll never to the can-can again
Ring! Where may you be?
Why won't you come home to me?
Don't you miss me?
Though I have no body
I'm just a big eye all alone!
Orcs: Eye all a-looooone!
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Old 09-07-2002, 12:56 PM   #29
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Silmaril

LOL!!! All these songs are hilarious!!! About a month ago I'd made a couple lines of Heaven on Their Minds (from Jesus Christ Superstar) fit with LotR, but it was only a few lines, and I can't even remember most of them (i remember i'd made the song about Frodo: "You have set them all aflame, they know you've got Isulder's Bane, and they'll hurt you if you don't destroy it..."). There was more, but I can't remember.....
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Old 09-08-2002, 04:09 AM   #30
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Sting

These are all hilarious!
My feeble and brief attempt:

Boromir: Always look on the bright side of life! (whilst whistling and wearing a huge smile)

[ September 08, 2002: Message edited by: Ringwraith Number Two ]
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Old 09-08-2002, 07:30 AM   #31
Judge Simon
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1420!

Come on now lets not forget our lady elves...

Wannbe-Spice Girls-Sung by Arwen...
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Old 09-08-2002, 11:07 AM   #32
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Sting

Ooh! Ooh! I got one!

Pippin, Merry, and Frodo: "We are the Hobbits Who Don't Do Anything! We just stay home and lie around. And if you ask us to do anything, we'll just tell you ..."

Pippin: "We don't do anything!"

Frodo: "Well, I've never been to Mirkwood and I've never been to Rohan, and I've never gotten treasure from an ancient dwarven hall, and I've never been to Lorien and I've never been to Moria, and I've never been to Gondor in the fall."

All: "'Cuz we're the Hobbits Who Don't Do Anything! We just stay home and lie around. And if you ask us to do anything, we'll just tell you ..."

Merry: "We don't do anything. And I never practice swordplay and I never shoot at targets, and I never practice jumping 'cuz I never ride at all, and I've never been in battle and I've never owned a warhorse, and I've never been to Gondor in the fall."

All: "'Cuz we're the Hobbits Who Don't Do Anything! We just stay at home and lie around. And if you ask us to do anything, we'll just tell you ... We don't do anything!"

Pippin: "Well, I've never plucked a rooster and I'm not too good at ping-pong, and I've never thrown my mashed potatoes up against the wall, and I've never kissed a chipmunk and I've never gotten head lice, and I've never been to Gondor in the fall!"

Frodo: "Huh? What are you talking about? What's a rooster and mashed potatoes have to do with being a hobbit??"

Merry: "Hey, that's right! We're supposed to sing about non-hobbity things we don’t do!"

Pippin: "Oh ..."

Frodo: "And who ever kissed a chipmunk? That's just nonsense! Why even bring it up? Am I right? What do you think?"

Merry: "I think your eyes are freakishly huge."

Frodo: "Huh? They are not!"

Merry: "Are too."

Frodo: "Are not!"

Merry: "And you have a weird neck.”

Frodo: "That's it, you're helping Sam with the garden!"

Merry: "Says who?"

Frodo: "Says the master of Bag End, that's who!"

Merry: "Oh, yeah? Yes, sir, ‘master!’”

Frodo: “Arrg!”

Pippin: "And I've never licked a spark plug and I've never sniffed a stink bug, and I've never painted daisies on a big red rubber ball, and I've never bathed in yogurt and I don't look good in leggings..."

Frodo: "You just don't get it!"

All: "And we've never been to Gondor in the fall!"
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Old 09-08-2002, 11:11 AM   #33
The Thriceling
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1420!

Oh, and another one! (I'm horrible...)

Frodo was a man who thought he was a hobbit,
But he knew it wouldn't last.
Frodo left his home,
(In fact, old Lotho bought it)
Now Frodo's at Morgul Pass.

Get Back!
Get Back!
Get Back to where you once belonged!
Get Back!
Get Back!
Get Back to where you once belonged!

Sweet Legolas fought and thought he was a warrior,
But they had another plan.
All the girls around him said "Hey, he's a hottie!"
And they'll get him if they can.

Get Back!
Get Back!
Get Back to where you once belonged!
Get Back!
Get Back!
Get Back to where you once belonged!
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Old 09-08-2002, 12:42 PM   #34
Galadrie1
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Silmaril

The Thricleling, those are hilarious!!!!! I'm laughing sooooooo hard!!!! heehee...

[ September 08, 2002: Message edited by: Galadrie1 ]
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Old 09-08-2002, 01:20 PM   #35
Lothiriel Silmarien
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Silmaril

Quote:
We're Elves!
We're Elves in tights!
We roam around the forest looking for fights.
We're Elves!
We're Elves in tights!
We take from the rich and give to the poor that's right!
We may look like sissies,
But don't get us wrong,
Or else we'll put out your lights.
We're Elves in TIGHTS!
That's so funny!! I love that movie.

[ September 08, 2002: Message edited by: Lothiriel Silmarien ]
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Old 09-08-2002, 02:32 PM   #36
galadwen29
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1420!

ok got another 1

the ring:

at first i was afraid
i was petrified
thinkin i could not live
without the someone by myside

then sauron left
without me!
left me to get along
did you think i crumble?
do you think i lay down and cry

i will survive
i will survive
oh as long as i've smeagal by myside
i will survive

ok that was lame

how about "complicated"?

biblo to gandalf!

lay back
what u yelling for
chill out
never seen that before
and if you could let me
have the ring
you would see

somebody else
not like no1 else
me lookin young
with a cool flashyyy ringgg!
not like no fool
but really really coool to me
tell meeeeeee!!

why do have to make things so complicated
i see the way look at the ring
i see that you wanna take it!
you will fall
you will bawl
'cos your tall
and i'll kick you
you never said you would try and take it
noo noo nooo

i just want to say ta very much to kithrena! i was really stuck on do you really want to hurt me?

more soon! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]
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Old 09-08-2002, 05:02 PM   #37
The Thriceling
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Wow! I am honored that the Lady of the Wood finds me amusing. [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]
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Old 09-08-2002, 05:12 PM   #38
Catherine
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Gandalf sings to every one who finds out he is alive:
Guess whos back, back again, Gandalfs back, tell a friend...
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Old 09-08-2002, 05:27 PM   #39
Alaggaeriel
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Silmaril

Hey Catherine, I LOVE that one!! That would be funny to hear him sing that one! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]
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Old 09-10-2002, 02:49 PM   #40
Firondoiel
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The Thricleling, HEHEHEHEHEHE!!! Those were SOOOO funny!!!!!! ROFL!!!!! Veggie Tales Rocks!!!!!!!
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