Crazy Captions - Page 320 - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Bêthberry · 11-01-2007, 06:15 PM

Serious Cat prepares for a walkabout.

The Might · 11-01-2007, 06:42 PM

The Fellowship disappointed as LotR sales are bad 4 years after the movies creat a boy group called Bagshot Row Boys

Folwren · 11-01-2007, 07:34 PM

I can't see the picture.

Bêthberry · 11-01-2007, 08:20 PM

Does this work for you?

The Might · 11-01-2007, 09:16 PM

As the WK managed to break the gate, he had a big surprise...

Morsul the Dark · 11-06-2007, 01:53 PM

The Wargs were a little bigger than gandalf thought

Oddwen · 11-06-2007, 07:45 PM

When the true king's away, the cats will play...

Or...

WK: I will break the wizard.

Gandalf: Away foul dwimmerlaik........holy crap.

Or...

Tall ships and tall kings
Three times three
What brought they from the foundered land
Over the flowing sea?
Seven stars, and seven stones,
and one white fe-
line.

Or...

Smaugcat: "Well, thief! I smell you and I feel your air. I hear your breath. Come along! Help yourself again, there is plenty and to spare!"

Bilbo Mousekins: "No thank you, O Smaugcat the Tremendous! I did not come for presents. I only wished to have a look at you and see if you were truly as great as tales say. I did not believe them."

Smaugcat: "Do you now?"

Bilbo Mousekins: "Truly songs and tales fall utterly short of the reality, O Smaugcat the Chiefest and Greatest of Calamities!"

Smaugcat: "You have nice manners for a thief and a liar. You seem familiar with my name, but I don't seem to remember smelling you before. Who are you and where do you come from, may I ask?"

The Elf-warrior · 11-06-2007, 09:13 PM

Denecat goes eyeballs to eyeball with the Dark Lord. OR

Denecat: "Im in ur city, depriving teh house of Elendil of teh throne." OR

Nobody tosses a cat!

narfforc · 11-22-2007, 05:19 AM

Who's thrown gondor where?

TEH HAS DONE IT!

Hookbill the Goomba · 11-22-2007, 05:24 AM

Sauron finally found out why the Gondorians were so secretive about what went on in Minas Tirith... It wasn't what he was expecting.

OR

The new gate was made to look like a cat on the logic that 'Not Even Sauron could hurl a battering ram against this face!'
Unfortunately, Sauron had had a bad childhood which involved cats and he felt that the Gondorians were making a cruel joke...

Rune Son of Bjarne · 11-23-2007, 09:05 PM

This is actually just lego with a very rare disease.

The Elf-warrior · 11-23-2007, 09:16 PM

Who knows what evil lurks in the heart of cats? The Shadow knows. Ha, ha ha!

Hookbill the Goomba · 11-26-2007, 05:52 AM

The first idea for Minas Taxi wasn't so well thought out.

Melilot Brandybuck · 11-26-2007, 08:26 AM

When the Rhovanion delegation was forced to use the servant's entrance, King Tarannon made a mental note to have a word with Beruthiel about over-feeding the cat.

Oddwen · 11-30-2007, 12:06 AM

Wait...you want me to clean what up?

Or...

And Legolas bade his fangirls worship him, and lo! they placed ale mugs on his altar and burned a dwarvish sacrifice. And Legolas was pleased.

Or...

L: I feel a slight tingling in my fingers. I think it's affecting me....arrrgh! *dies of alcohol poisoning*

Or...

(after two drinks)

Leggy: I swear to drunk I'm not Eru! *hic*
Gandy: Hmm...you've a bit more in common with Galion than Thranduil, don't you?
Leggy(tapping his nose): Let's not schpread that around too far, shall we, private family matter'n all... *hic*

Hookbill the Goomba · 11-30-2007, 03:25 AM

Legolas is surprised when his imaginary friend beats him at the drinking game...

OR

Legolas is sure the mugs are talking to him...

mormegil · 11-30-2007, 08:53 AM

Legolas: Gimli, I don't care how dirty you are, I am NOT going to give you a sponge bath.

THE Ka · 12-08-2007, 08:00 PM

Legolas was beginning to worry that his 'if all else fails add shampoo to ale' measure to cure Gimli of his stank was going in a different direction...

Also, forgive me for trespassing the rules, but I think this thread needs some reviving as I would hate to see it fall into oblivion...

Denethor: Pippin, if you break into song one more time I'll have no choice but to throw this overpriced and tasteless gruel in your face...

~ Ka and Koffee

Alonna · 12-09-2007, 12:13 PM

Sauron's new plot to rule Middle Earth involved driving all the people of Middle Earth into debt by selling them ridiculously expensive coffee.

Rune Son of Bjarne · 12-09-2007, 10:46 PM

That photo is scary. . .not funny!

Farael · 12-09-2007, 11:21 PM

Denethor: "Of course I am mad! There are no Tim Horton's left in Middle Earth, and if there are some in the lands of the West, only the elves know."

Hookbill the Goomba · 12-10-2007, 03:48 AM

Denethor: How dare you insult me like this! I asked for a Costa Coffee!

OR

Denethor: What do you take me for? I would never surcome to the temptations of product placement...

THE Ka · 12-10-2007, 11:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rune Son of Bjarne

That photo is scary. . .not funny!

Why thank you, you've noticed the extra masterplan if it was hailed with a shower of 'dare not post early!'. There was also the musing of using him as a handy warning of some kind, or mascot for the 'send to Mordor' thread, but eh. What evil happens, happens. I in no way support this though, mind you...

Ahem, anyways so I am not attacked by the galliant skwerl of chatter:

Denethor: Faramir, to crush any further hope, let's just say i'd rather send this beverage into Rivendell than you.

~ Ka...

mormegil · 12-10-2007, 11:43 PM

Denethor: So Gandalf, you didn't think that I would discover Sauron's cup of power, did you? With this cup, I shall have the power Gondor needs to overthrow Sauron and Mordor once and for all.

Brinniel · 12-11-2007, 12:14 AM

The peoples of Middle-earth knew their world was going to the dogs when Gondor started up its own Starbucks chain.

OR

STARBUCKS: The Coffee of Stewards.

(This ad has been approved by Denethor son of Ecthelion II)

satansaloser2005 · 12-11-2007, 12:51 AM

....But Sauron had brewed another cup of coffee in secret, deep within the fires of Mount Doom. One cup of coffee to rule them all....

luthien-elvenprincess · 12-11-2007, 07:10 PM

Pippen, you know I demand my caramel cappuccino decaf skinny with no froth...I can't afford to be bloaty and gassy today, I'm going to a barbeque later.

The Might · 12-12-2007, 06:52 AM

LotR fan: Hey, that's not in the books either!
PJ: Well, how do you think we managed to get the money for the films?

shieldmaiden4xsword · 12-17-2007, 12:27 PM

Denethor always had a cup of coffee to jump start his day.

***Thenamir*** · 12-17-2007, 12:33 PM

Through his dark arts Sauron had decaffeinated Denethor's elixir, driving him to the madness which eventually caused him to set himself on fire and throw himself off the topmost parapet in Minas Tirith.

mormegil · 12-17-2007, 01:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Might

LotR fan: Hey, that's not in the books either!
PJ: Well, how do you think we managed to get the money for the films?

Denethor: Yes Pippin, this is called product placement and with this innovation I plan to systematically ruin cinema, take over Middle-earth and give something for marketing professors to discuss for years to come.

Hookbill the Goomba · 12-24-2007, 04:29 PM

Denethor: Give me more coffee! I haven't slept all night! Pippin was singing!

OR

Gandalf: So, has your new obsession affected your rule at all?

Denethor: No! Why do you say that? Nothing changes me! I'm all the time good steward. Good stew! Yes! I want stew! No, no, no! I want soup! Oooh, have you ever had tomato soup with chicken? No? Me neither! Sounds good? Who are you? GET OUT! COME BACK! LOOK AT ME! GET OUT! LOOK AT ME! GET OUT! LOOK AT ME WHILE YOU GET OUT!

TheGreatElvenWarrior · 01-01-2008, 07:03 PM

So this is what happens when Orcs steal toddlers.

Hookbill the Goomba · 01-03-2008, 03:31 PM

Child: Uglug... I Am your father!

Uglug: No-ooooo!!

OR

Uglug: And would sir like Child with that?

OR EVEN

Child: Hey! You promised me a clown for my party!

Uglug: I CAN BE FUNNY! ... ... Erm... What do you get when you cross a Hobbit with an orc?
...
A freak of nature...

Child: ... MUMMY!!

narfforc · 01-04-2008, 01:27 AM

Ugluk is slightly unhappy that a child has been sick all over his forehead, the child is also unhappy at losing his vanilla milkshake so easily.

Gwathagor · 01-04-2008, 01:58 AM

Both: MOM!

TheGreatElvenWarrior · 01-04-2008, 11:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gwathagor

Both: MOM!

Or
BOTH: (with a bit of shock in voice)MOM?

mormegil · 01-04-2008, 12:42 PM

This cannot be my stunt double

The Elf-warrior · 01-04-2008, 05:25 PM

Ugluk: "Eating kids is a special treat, it grows long hair and great big teeth."

Hookbill the Goomba · 01-04-2008, 05:51 PM

Ugluk: This one's broken. Get me a new one.

11-01-2007, 06:15 PM	#12761
Bêthberry Cryptic Aura Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 6,165	Serious Cat prepares for a walkabout. __________________ I’ll sing his roots off. I’ll sing a wind up and blow leaf and branch away.

11-01-2007, 06:42 PM	#12762
The Might Guard of the Citadel Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Oxon Posts: 2,287	The Fellowship disappointed as LotR sales are bad 4 years after the movies creat a boy group called Bagshot Row Boys __________________ “The invisible and the non-existent look very much alike.” Delos B. McKown

11-01-2007, 07:34 PM	#12763
Folwren Messenger of Hope Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: In a tiny, insignificant little town in one of the many States. Posts: 5,228	I can't see the picture. __________________ A young man who wishes to remain a sound atheist cannot be too careful of his reading. - C.S. Lewis

11-01-2007, 08:20 PM	#12764
Bêthberry Cryptic Aura Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 6,165	Does this work for you? __________________ I’ll sing his roots off. I’ll sing a wind up and blow leaf and branch away.

11-01-2007, 09:16 PM	#12765
The Might Guard of the Citadel Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Oxon Posts: 2,287	As the WK managed to break the gate, he had a big surprise... __________________ “The invisible and the non-existent look very much alike.” Delos B. McKown

11-06-2007, 01:53 PM	#12766
Morsul the Dark Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 3,502	The Wargs were a little bigger than gandalf thought __________________ Morsul the Resurrected

11-06-2007, 07:45 PM	#12767
Oddwen Drummer in the Deep Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Next Sunday A.D. Posts: 2,246	When the true king's away, the cats will play... Or... WK: I will break the wizard. Gandalf: Away foul dwimmerlaik........holy crap. Or... Tall ships and tall kings Three times three What brought they from the foundered land Over the flowing sea? Seven stars, and seven stones, and one white fe- line. Or... Smaugcat: "Well, thief! I smell you and I feel your air. I hear your breath. Come along! Help yourself again, there is plenty and to spare!" Bilbo Mousekins: "No thank you, O Smaugcat the Tremendous! I did not come for presents. I only wished to have a look at you and see if you were truly as great as tales say. I did not believe them." Smaugcat: "Do you now?" Bilbo Mousekins: "Truly songs and tales fall utterly short of the reality, O Smaugcat the Chiefest and Greatest of Calamities!" Smaugcat: "You have nice manners for a thief and a liar. You seem familiar with my name, but I don't seem to remember smelling you before. Who are you and where do you come from, may I ask?" __________________ But all the while I sit and think of times there were before I listen for returning feet and voices at the door

11-06-2007, 09:13 PM	#12768
The Elf-warrior Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Virginia. Posts: 952	Denecat goes eyeballs to eyeball with the Dark Lord. OR Denecat: "Im in ur city, depriving teh house of Elendil of teh throne." OR Nobody tosses a cat! __________________ Fenris Wolf: WW LXXX.

11-22-2007, 05:19 AM	#12769
narfforc Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Muddy-earth Posts: 1,307	Eht, hte, eth, het..........THE...... Who's thrown gondor where? TEH HAS DONE IT! __________________ [B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER.

11-22-2007, 05:24 AM	#12770
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 6,153	Sauron finally found out why the Gondorians were so secretive about what went on in Minas Tirith... It wasn't what he was expecting. OR The new gate was made to look like a cat on the logic that 'Not Even Sauron could hurl a battering ram against this face!' Unfortunately, Sauron had had a bad childhood which involved cats and he felt that the Gondorians were making a cruel joke... __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

11-23-2007, 09:16 PM	#12772
The Elf-warrior Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Virginia. Posts: 952	Who knows what evil lurks in the heart of cats? The Shadow knows. Ha, ha ha! __________________ Fenris Wolf: WW LXXX.

11-26-2007, 05:52 AM	#12773
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 6,153	The first idea for Minas Taxi wasn't so well thought out. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

11-26-2007, 08:26 AM	#12774
Melilot Brandybuck Animated Skeleton Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 35	When the Rhovanion delegation was forced to use the servant's entrance, King Tarannon made a mental note to have a word with Beruthiel about over-feeding the cat. __________________ The original and best Mel B

11-30-2007, 12:06 AM	#12775
Oddwen Drummer in the Deep Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Next Sunday A.D. Posts: 2,246	Wait...you want me to clean what up? Or... And Legolas bade his fangirls worship him, and lo! they placed ale mugs on his altar and burned a dwarvish sacrifice. And Legolas was pleased. Or... L: I feel a slight tingling in my fingers. I think it's affecting me....arrrgh! dies of alcohol poisoning Or... (after two drinks) Leggy: I swear to drunk I'm not Eru! hic Gandy: Hmm...you've a bit more in common with Galion than Thranduil, don't you? Leggy(tapping his nose): Let's not schpread that around too far, shall we, private family matter'n all... hic __________________ But all the while I sit and think of times there were before I listen for returning feet and voices at the door

11-30-2007, 03:25 AM	#12776
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 6,153	Legolas is surprised when his imaginary friend beats him at the drinking game... OR Legolas is sure the mugs are talking to him... __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

11-30-2007, 08:53 AM	#12777
mormegil Maundering Mage Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Texas Posts: 4,679	Legolas: Gimli, I don't care how dirty you are, I am NOT going to give you a sponge bath. __________________ When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators. -- P. J. O'Rourke

12-08-2007, 08:00 PM	#12778
THE Ka Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: As with the flygja Posts: 1,612	Legolas was beginning to worry that his 'if all else fails add shampoo to ale' measure to cure Gimli of his stank was going in a different direction... Also, forgive me for trespassing the rules, but I think this thread needs some reviving as I would hate to see it fall into oblivion... Denethor: Pippin, if you break into song one more time I'll have no choice but to throw this overpriced and tasteless gruel in your face... ~ Ka and Koffee __________________ Vinur, vinur skilur tú meg? Veitst tú ongan loyniveg? Hevur tú reikað líka sum eg, í endaleysu tokuni? Last edited by THE Ka; 12-08-2007 at 08:06 PM. Reason: The idea struck me after the saving... :-P

12-09-2007, 12:13 PM	#12779
Alonna Animated Skeleton Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 33	Sauron's new plot to rule Middle Earth involved driving all the people of Middle Earth into debt by selling them ridiculously expensive coffee.

12-09-2007, 11:21 PM	#12781
Farael Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: In hospitals, call rooms and (rarely) my apartment. Posts: 1,549	Denethor: "Of course I am mad! There are no Tim Horton's left in Middle Earth, and if there are some in the lands of the West, only the elves know." __________________ I prepared Explosive Runes this morning.

12-10-2007, 03:48 AM	#12782
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 6,153	Denethor: How dare you insult me like this! I asked for a Costa Coffee! OR Denethor: What do you take me for? I would never surcome to the temptations of product placement... __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

12-10-2007, 11:43 PM	#12784
mormegil Maundering Mage Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Texas Posts: 4,679	Denethor: So Gandalf, you didn't think that I would discover Sauron's cup of power, did you? With this cup, I shall have the power Gondor needs to overthrow Sauron and Mordor once and for all. __________________ When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators. -- P. J. O'Rourke

12-11-2007, 12:14 AM	#12785
Brinniel Reflection of Darkness Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Polishing the stars. Well, somebody has to do it; they're looking a little bit dull. Posts: 3,027	The peoples of Middle-earth knew their world was going to the dogs when Gondor started up its own Starbucks chain. OR STARBUCKS: The Coffee of Stewards. (This ad has been approved by Denethor son of Ecthelion II) __________________ Nolite te bastardes carborundorum

12-11-2007, 12:51 AM	#12786
satansaloser2005 The Sweetest Spoiler Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: from beneath you it giggles incessantly Posts: 5,810	....But Sauron had brewed another cup of coffee in secret, deep within the fires of Mount Doom. One cup of coffee to rule them all.... __________________ "My heart always cowers behind the defense of my wit." Friendship is two pals munching on a well-cooked face together. Fenris bookworm.

12-11-2007, 07:10 PM	#12787
luthien-elvenprincess Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: what are you doing here? did you come here to eat my popcorn? Posts: 1,034	Pippen, you know I demand my caramel cappuccino decaf skinny with no froth...I can't afford to be bloaty and gassy today, I'm going to a barbeque later. __________________ York Peppermint Patties taste better than Pearson's Peppermint Patties! But, Junior Mints are the best!

12-12-2007, 06:52 AM	#12788
The Might Guard of the Citadel Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Oxon Posts: 2,287	LotR fan: Hey, that's not in the books either! PJ: Well, how do you think we managed to get the money for the films? __________________ “The invisible and the non-existent look very much alike.” Delos B. McKown

12-17-2007, 12:27 PM	#12789
shieldmaiden4xsword Wight Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: where people stick out their tongues at their youth pastor.... Posts: 220	Denethor always had a cup of coffee to jump start his day. __________________ Sometimes the peril is not in what is around us, what enemies or trials that may come, but what is in our own hearts.

12-17-2007, 12:33 PM	#12790
*Thenamir* Spectre of Capitalism Join Date: May 2001 Location: Battling evil bureaucrats at Zeta Aquilae Posts: 990	Through his dark arts Sauron had decaffeinated Denethor's elixir, driving him to the madness which eventually caused him to set himself on fire and throw himself off the topmost parapet in Minas Tirith. __________________ The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane. ~~ Marcus Aurelius

12-24-2007, 04:29 PM	#12792
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 6,153	Denethor: Give me more coffee! I haven't slept all night! Pippin was singing! OR Gandalf: So, has your new obsession affected your rule at all? Denethor: No! Why do you say that? Nothing changes me! I'm all the time good steward. Good stew! Yes! I want stew! No, no, no! I want soup! Oooh, have you ever had tomato soup with chicken? No? Me neither! Sounds good? Who are you? GET OUT! COME BACK! LOOK AT ME! GET OUT! LOOK AT ME! GET OUT! LOOK AT ME WHILE YOU GET OUT! __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

01-01-2008, 07:03 PM	#12793
TheGreatElvenWarrior Mighty Quill Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Walking off to look for America Posts: 2,346	So this is what happens when Orcs steal toddlers. __________________ The Party Doesn't Start Until You're Dead. Last edited by TheGreatElvenWarrior; 01-04-2008 at 12:01 PM.

01-03-2008, 03:31 PM	#12794
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 6,153	Child: Uglug... I Am your father! Uglug: No-ooooo!! OR Uglug: And would sir like Child with that? OR EVEN Child: Hey! You promised me a clown for my party! Uglug: I CAN BE FUNNY! ... ... Erm... What do you get when you cross a Hobbit with an orc? ... A freak of nature... Child: ... MUMMY!! __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

01-04-2008, 01:27 AM	#12795
narfforc Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Muddy-earth Posts: 1,307	Uruk-inthe-Eye Ugluk is slightly unhappy that a child has been sick all over his forehead, the child is also unhappy at losing his vanilla milkshake so easily. __________________ [B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER.

01-04-2008, 01:58 AM	#12796
Gwathagor Shade with a Blade Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: A Rainy Night In Soho Posts: 2,613	Both: MOM! __________________ Stories and songs.

01-04-2008, 12:42 PM	#12798
mormegil Maundering Mage Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Texas Posts: 4,679	This cannot be my stunt double __________________ When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators. -- P. J. O'Rourke

01-04-2008, 05:25 PM	#12799
The Elf-warrior Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Virginia. Posts: 952	Ugluk: "Eating kids is a special treat, it grows long hair and great big teeth." __________________ Fenris Wolf: WW LXXX.

01-04-2008, 05:51 PM	#12800
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 6,153	Ugluk: This one's broken. Get me a new one. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...