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#1 | ||||
Mighty Quill
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Walking off to look for America
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Sex Amongst the Maiar (and the Other Beings in Arda)
This is just a little awkward for me to write, but I will anyway. It begs to be discussed. On Aganzir's hair colour thread I accidentally pulled the entire thread off-topic with one sentence. It was this:
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__________________________________________________ ________ It is well known that the Valar got married, and presumably had sex with each other. Sex is, after all, an integral part of marriage. That was mentioned on the other thread. My assumption about Sauron being asexual firstly came from me not imagining sex in my reading unless it is brought up by the author, but also because I don't believe that Sauron ever had any loves or crushes, courtships or whatnot. Before Sauron became The Eye, I always imagined him being a humanoid, and therefore he would have the parts to have sex. That was not the issue in my mind; I just thought that he would have never had the inclination to partake in it. He was very busy being evil and all, I assumed that he just didn't have the time. Thinking this would be an interesting topic to discuss in its own thread, I am opening up sex for discussion. What do you think about the maiar having sex? Obviously, I did not think that Sauron would have been interested, but we do have examples of children being born to maiar, like Luthien, so therefore some of them were. Were other maiar interested in that intimacy too, or was Melian's case relatively isolated? Would the maiar be more interested in a mental connection to others, or a sexual one? As I muse over this, I would love to read all of your thoughts. P.S. In answer to the original question, I don't think that wraiths would have been able to have sex. Their physical bodies have all but vanished, and that would make it impossible.
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#3 | |
Cryptic Aura
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 6,169
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![]() One would assume that Tom and Goldberry--not that I'm calling them Maiar--had a fulfilling marriage. Yet we don't see any little Toms or Berrys.
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#4 | |
Mighty Quill
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Walking off to look for America
Posts: 2,346
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#5 |
Cryptic Aura
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 6,169
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Well, given that she was known for being deeply in touch with nature, doing rain dances and such, presumably she was proficient at the rhythm method.
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#6 | ||
Blossom of Dwimordene
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: The realm of forgotten words
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![]() Seriously, though, I would like to bring up this nice little bit from The Sil: Quote:
I personally believe that taking a shape similar to a human does not necessarily give you human anatomy (f.ex., the Valar don't necessarily have two kidneys and a liver, and thus also don't necessarily have reproductiove organs). I guess that if they choose to be similar to the Children in that way, they may become so, like Melian did, but I prefer to think that they do not even bother themselves with such thoughts. I wonder now if it's possible to have a hermaphrodite or androgynous ainu. (Seems from Agan's thread about Sauron's hair colour that the question of homosexuality is already decided on by Tumblr. ![]() (As a side note, you should have seen my facial expressions as I was typing all this! A family member who came into the room asked me if I'm ok. ![]()
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#7 |
Curmudgeonly Wordwraith
Join Date: Jun 2007
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I take it you've never been married.
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And your little sister's immaculate virginity wings away on the bony shoulders of a young horse named George who stole surreptitiously into her geography revision. |
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#8 |
Curmudgeonly Wordwraith
Join Date: Jun 2007
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Perhaps she had an arbortion.
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And your little sister's immaculate virginity wings away on the bony shoulders of a young horse named George who stole surreptitiously into her geography revision. |
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#9 |
Hidden Spirit
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 1,436
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We've got one solid example of an Ainu reproducing with an incarnate being, which shows us that yes, the Ainur do have sex. As my esteemed colleague obloquy has previously pointed out, engaging in such activity has certain deleterious consequences that a clear thinking Ainu would be eager to avoid. In general I think it is safe to say that the Valar and Maiar would avoid such procreative (subcreative?) tendancies, while other sorts of Ainur (dark lords, balrogs) might indulge.
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#10 | |
Flame Imperishable
Join Date: Dec 2007
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Hm, I seem to remember having a similar discussion recently. I think, when incarnate in the form of a reproducing creature, sex makes sense, as in the case of Melian. Of course, the issue then is of the nature of the fëa of the child. It depends how new fëar are created (which would make an interesting discussion in its own right), and whether they come from Eru or are a product of their parents in some way as well.
Then we get to the issue of the Istari. I never thought of them as sexual, but now, after thinking about how they had to actually live in the bodies of Men, I would assume that they were also fully functional in that department. And then one wonders whether they ever did uncloak in the days of their physical youth. Or at least had the desire to, now that they were human and bound to the physical. Or would that be diverting from their mission? As for other incarnates, I think it's more vague. What about about Balrogs? Would they have sexual organs? And if so, why? Or would Morgoth have denied them those to stop them getting 'distracted'? And as G55 said, it would be interesting to know whether incarnate Ainur were actually biologically sound, or whether it was just a façade. Or is that what makes the difference between 'light' and 'proper' incarnation? And then there are the Ainur in their incorporeal state. I'd imagine that rather than going the physical route, their sex would be something like that of the angels in Paradise Lost, when Raphael tells Adam: Quote:
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#11 |
Loremaster of Annúminas
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 2,301
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The case of Melian is discussed in an essay in Morgoth's Ring. I don't have time to look it up right now, but IIRC Melian's physical coupling with Thingol was described as an exception, a unique event, permitted because the birth of Luthien and thus of her descendants Earendil and the Houses of Elros and Elendil were part of the Divine Plan.
In earlier writings Tolkien conceived of the Valar as having children, notably Fionwe (later Eonwe) and Kosomot (>Gothmog) "son of Melko"; but he changed his mind and converted the Children of the Valar into the Maiar.
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#12 | |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Aug 2012
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It is eluding me at the moment but I seem to remember a remark Professor Tolkien made somewhere which suggested that the marriages of the Valar (and Maiar) were not completely comparable to those of the Children of Ilúvatar, which is to say that they were based more on compatibility in the thought of Eru than bearing some physical element of attraction. The nearest I can find is this from a footnote to the word 'wife' (regarding Yavanna to Aulë) in Letter 212:
"It is the view of the Myth that in (say) Elves and Men 'sex' is only an expression in physical or biological terms of a difference of nature in the 'spirit', not the ultimate cause of the difference between femininity and masculinity." (p. 285) So sexual difference, and consequent sexuality, was apparently only a manifestation of a deeper, indeed fundamental, gender allocation within the soul, which is presumably the level at which gender was an equivalent concept for both the Children of Ilúvatar and the Ainur. Given that they were of their primary nature discarnate beings the Ainur would seemingly not express their femininity/masculinity through sexual difference except when they made themselves incarnate, but those bodies were just raiment and not part of their nature; in the sentence to which the above footnote is attached Professor Tolkien goes on to indicate that Yavanna also had the habit of becoming incarnate as a tree! "Sex" was, perhaps, a meaningless term to attribute to them because it was a purely physical term, and the bodies in which they incarnated were not "part" of them the way they were for Elves and Men. This would correlate in my mind with Professor Tolkien's eventual decision that the Valar did not have children. Personally I believe that the Ainur were asexual and that their marriages were based on 'spiritual' masculine-feminine attraction/compatibility resulting from their discarnate nature. Indeed it could perhaps be said that they experienced the "true" or "undiluted" male/female dichotomy while Elves and Men only experienced it mediated through its physical expression as sex (and sexuality). This precludes the need for a sexual element to the Ainur, which would be a corollary of one sex or the other being part of their nature, which it was not because sex is seen as a physical concept and they were not of their nature physical beings. I apologise for being repetitious but I want to make clear that I am not confusing 'sex' (biological situation as male or female) with 'sex' (the reproductive act) but am taking the two concepts as related. I suppose what I am trying to say is that in my view the Ainur had 'gender' but did not have 'sex' (or indeed 'have sex' if you'll pardon the expression). That being said! it is altogether possible to my mind that protracted/intense periods of incarnate existence might give rise to a sexual capacity and impulse on the part of the Ainur, in the negative sense regarding Morgoth's assorted lusts and in the positive regarding Melian's love for Thingol. While I would argue that it was not in Melian's original nature to be sexual (or indeed capable of reproduction) it might be the case that her incarnation and prolonged relationship with one of the Children could alter that. Of course it might also have been an exception on the part of Eru. Perhaps it was possible for an Ainu and an Eruhin to reproduce given the primary nature of one of the participants as an incarnate, but not for an Ainu and another Ainu (nor could a relationship of that nature, Eruhin-like, even transpire between them). Quote:
That being said, these are just my thoughts on the matter. Perhaps it's worth noting Letter 43 where Professor Tolkien wrote to his son Michael about love and sexuality where he suggests that an entirely genuine and non-sexual relationship between a man and a woman "may happen between saints." (p. 48) I can see him as perhaps considering such a nature to have been an admirable trait to give to the Holy Ones of his sub-creation. It's far from conclusive though, and the issue of the Ainur's relationships is a curious and singular one. I think it's one of those interestingly vague concepts which adds to the overall magic of Arda - there's something which is both impressive and intriguing about Tinúviel having a genuine Angelic Power for a parent! |
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#13 |
Loremaster of Annúminas
Join Date: Oct 2006
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Here it is:
Melian alone of all [the Maiar] assumed a bodily form, not only as a raiment but as a permanent habitation in form and powers like to the bodies of the Elves. This she did for love of Elwe; and it was permitted, no doubt because this union had already been forseen in the beginning of things, and was woven into the Amarth of the world, when Eru first conceived the being of his children, Elves and Men.Reflecting a somewhat different idea at least wrt 'uniqueness' is this: The least [of the Maiar] could have been primitive (and much more powerful and perilous) Orcs; but by practising while embodied procreation they would (cf. Melian) become more and more earthbound, unable to return to spirit-stateHowever, in this essay T (very much here 'thinking with the pen') then immediately rejected the idea of Maia-orcs having offspring, concluding that Eru would not create fear for them. There is also a note to the Athrabeth, not specifically about Melian but connected, which posits that Luthien's becoming of man-kind, and Beren's return from death, were a great Exception granted in order that a strain of the divine would pass down among the Eruhini.
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The entire plot of The Lord of the Rings could be said to turn on what Sauron didn’t know, and when he didn’t know it. |
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#14 | |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 1,031
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Osanwe-kenta note 5 notes that (a note on the use of the hroar [roughly translated: 'bodies'] by the Valar, and a 'self arraying' of the Valar and Maiar)...
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#15 |
Loremaster of Annúminas
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 2,301
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Nice catch.
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The entire plot of The Lord of the Rings could be said to turn on what Sauron didn’t know, and when he didn’t know it. |
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#16 | |
Wight
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Black Country, West Midlands
Posts: 130
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"They came therefore in the shape of Men, though they were never young and aged only slowly..." Appendix B, The Third Age. It seems reasonable to assume that they did this as a way of avoiding the hormones and distractions of youth.
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#17 | ||
A Mere Boggart
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: under the bed
Posts: 4,814
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And from Galin's quote from the Osanwe-kenta...a few things...
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2. Also eating and drinking can be binding - how much do we see the Istari doing this? We certainly see Gandalf smoking a lot, which might also be counted as something 'done to the body' that may bind him to the hroa he chose. 3. I note that having a child was the most binding, and no doubt Tolkien chose to do this to emphasise that having a child is a serious thing and you can't just flounce off back to your incorporeal form when you choose once you have kids to fend for. In his writing, he always seems to view family responsibilities as a very serious matter. I'm also interested in whether we view the Valar/Maiar as having a sex or a gender. Because a gender in the modern understanding may not necessarily mean they looked like we might assume someone of that gender to look. In that respect, an androgynous Ainu would indeed be possible. I quite like that Tolkien seems to suggest they had a choice depending on how they felt. Very modern ![]() Quote:
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#18 | |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 1,031
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It was said that the Valar usually took the shape of the bodies of Elves and Men -- of majestic but not gigantic stature (and in some degree radiant), vested in robes expressing their individual natures and functions.
Also, that the Valar and Maiar could assume other shapes (Yavanna as a great tree and so forth, as in Silmarillion), although it's noted in RGEO that the Eldar seldom saw other inhuman forms taken by the Valar. I initially thought that we could easily say the same of the Maiar, but then I remembered this little interesting note from JRRT in Morgoth's Ring: 'Living things in Aman. As the Valar would robe themselves like the Children, many of the Maiar robed themselves like other lesser living things, as trees, flowers, beasts. (Huan.)' ... which has me wondering a bit. Anyway in notes regarding the word fana(r) Tolkien seems to describe the fanar of the Valar and Maiar, but in RGEO (published by JRRT himself), unless I missed something, he speaks there of only the Valar, technically. In posthumously published notes there is an interesting distinction: Quote:
This bit also does not appear in RGEO, in any case. |
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#19 |
A Mere Boggart
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: under the bed
Posts: 4,814
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So Melkor's Maiar were smelly...that has made me chuckle. It probably gives even more reasons to fear a Balrog. And maybe the One Ring was an air freshener.
I wonder what Radagast smelled like?
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#20 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Lonely Isle
Posts: 706
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So Sauron 'stank', did he?
![]() If the second was the case, then he would have had to be careful, in the days when he wore a fair form, to keep himself very clean to avoid detection. Perhaps Middle-earth owed a lot to his taking regular baths and developing the deoderant. Did orcs and others who acknowledged his rule fear him because he insisted that they also wash regularly? ![]() Of course, this would have to have been before the Downfall of Númenor. Now that he was stuck in the form of a dark lord, he wouldn't need to bother with such cleanliness. Perhaps he then abandoned it, and his people followed his example... ![]() Last edited by Faramir Jones; 06-15-2016 at 04:06 PM. |
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#21 | ||||
Haunting Spirit
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Saw that in fb and thought to give my 2 cents.
![]() To properly answer a question, one should know what is meant by the terms used. We know who Maiar are, Beings are only relevant if we want to discuss any specific being, but what is this "sex" thingy... In the original question I see hints for 4 possible definitions. Quote:
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My answer depending on what that s-word means: I. Couple Glue: Sauron: Not interested in such thing. Wears only friend in his world on his finger until he looses both. Valar: They surely had a couple thingy. Tantric sex that Sting hasn't dreamt of or something. Maiar: Not as apparant as the Valar but probably yeah. II. Love pendant (Obsession) Sauron: The REAL baddies in Tolkien's world aren't some misunderstood emos (for which he has my respect). They don't love or obsesse over gals. EXCLUSION: While he was a blender, he might have faked it (if it was useful for him he would have). Valar/Maiar: Dunno. Probably. Possibly. They want the couple thingy, after all? III. Physical activity Sauron: Surely. I mean why not? And the time argument is irrelevant if we exclude the love/obsession/couple thing. Valar/Maiar: The ones that were happy to try new things surely... Unless it was binding to human form and/or the couple thingy was great enough. Wizards: The time argument holds, as they will also engage in a love/couple thingy. The old age probably protected them from it. Saruman, just as Sauron, was a complete Baddy: yeah he prolly did it. He even got new clothes, as he probably tried to tell himself that the women actually liked him for himself. IV. Reproduction Sauron: Deffo not. Immortals probably had some way to controll this, as there was no overpopulation issue in ME. But he would probably kill his women and eat the babies before he conceives possible competition. Valar: Couldn't. If the tantric thing was also as good as sting thinks - lucky bastards. Maiar: Had probably something to do with choice.
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#22 |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Aug 2012
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I just noticed this. Is it a metaphorical statement? Surely it is well-established that Sauron was never just a big floating eyeball. Nonetheless I can't think that Sauron, whose first fixation was Order and later simply hatred for those who appeared to obstruct his vision of Order, would have had much interest in anything sexual even at his most incarnate level of spiritual degradation. Sauron seems to me to have been an obsessive person, who in the Third Age at least had two overriding goals: the conquest of the West of Middle-earth and the recovery of the Rings of Power (and especially, of course, the One Ring). He does not strike me as the kind of person who put those fixations aside for the sake of his leisure.
I am still convinced that the Ainur were largely asexual unless confined to a single incarnation, and that their marriages were based on a "purer" form of "gender-attraction" rather than the sexual attraction that Incarnates had to put up with. Again, it seems to me that Professor Tolkien considered sexuality to be in many cases a wearisome obstacle in the relations between men and women in this world ("The dislocation of sex-instinct is one of the chief symptoms of the Fall." (Letters p.48)) and that an emotionally intimate relationship between the two without sexuality would be an admirable thing. Hence in the secondary world Ainur couples would be "better" than Incarnate couples because they wouldn't have sexuality mediating the affection and compatibility of partners. Likewise I am almost entirely sure that Professor Tolkien made a remark somewhere to the effect that marriages among the Ainur were non-sexual in nature (more explicitly than in the quote I've already provided in my previous post, that is) but I still cannot find it... |
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#23 | |
Wight
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Black Country, West Midlands
Posts: 130
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Also, while I agree that sexual attraction among incarnate beings is something they/we have to "put up with" (ie. a drive with a power that can distract from 'higher' aspirations and duties) it is not a bad thing in itself. Rather its distractive power lies in its being a means by which Incarnates can experience, be it only fleetingly, that union of being which the Maiar/Valar live in. Theirs (including Morgoth and Sauron) is the Great Song that wove the world together: "Hey! Come derry dol! Can you hear me singing?" Of course there is still the notion that the Dark Lord might have abused sex as a means of asserting his will to power, but again I don't think it half as horrific as the threat of the Witch King: "He [Sauron] will bear thee away to the houses of lamentation, beyond all darkness, where thy flesh shall be devoured, and thy shrivelled mind be left naked to the Lidless Eye." The Battle of the Pelennor Fields .
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#24 | |
Regal Dwarven Shade
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: A Remote Dwarven Hold
Posts: 3,685
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It is kind of disturbing if you think about it from any number of perspectives whether you consider orcs to be of elvish, mannish, or bestial stock. It puts the "torments" that he inflicted on the progenitors of the race into a whole new light. *goes to bathe brain in acid*
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#25 | |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Lonely Isle
Posts: 706
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#26 | |
Pilgrim Soul
Join Date: May 2004
Location: watching the wonga-wonga birds circle...
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Of course immortals don't have the biological imperative that affects mortals who live on in their children so they will be less driven by their hormones. Elvish spirits are much more in control of their bodies and as they age the spirit takes precedence IIRC. And what is true for elves is likely to be true to a even greater degree for the Valar so I agree that the Ainur are not likely to be affected by desires of the flesh and that the lust of Sauron is more likely to be about the desire to overpower, possess and exert control rather than about sex per se.
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#27 | ||||||||||||
Woman of Secret Shadow
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: in hollow halls beneath the fells
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My take on this is that if there's no sex, why call it marriage? There are other quite sufficient words - why not call it friendship instead?
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I think the Ainur's incarnations are too closely knitted with their fëar to allow sex changes, but I wouldn't rule it out that Arda Marred would occasionally see fëar born in the wrong body. Quote:
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Speaking of the fire Maiar, Arien didn't show a particular interest in romance either, so it may have been some spirit of fire thing. Quote:
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Also, there were some couples that were married from either the creation of the Ainur or the beginning of Arda, depending on what you consider canon, such as Manwë and Varda, but there were also those who only got married later, like Tulkas and Nessa. Personally I find it more probable that there was a period of flirting/courting and 'you+me=swoon' before the wedding rather than a sudden discovery that they were just, you know, really compatible in Ilúvatar's thought. Quote:
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#28 |
Regal Dwarven Shade
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: A Remote Dwarven Hold
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The use can be a bit idiosyncratic, but the proper definitions of the words explicitly mean "baby making" and not just making love.
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#29 | |||
Cryptic Aura
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 6,169
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If conception amongst the elves is an act of will, that is, if elves procreative only when they choose to procreate, does that not mean that Eru isn't part of the procreation? It would appear to be another version of the free will question. That would appear to differ from at least some Christian ideology which claims that all pregnancies derive from God. Not that Tolkien's legendarium can't differ. Just an observation. Quote:
![]() Let me put it this way instead. Is it in fact a valid assumption that old people no longer enjoy sexual relations?
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#30 | |
Blossom of Dwimordene
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: The realm of forgotten words
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You passed from under darkened dome, you enter now the secret land. - Take me to Finrod's fabled home!... ~ Finrod: The Rock Opera |
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#31 | ||
Woman of Secret Shadow
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: in hollow halls beneath the fells
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![]() (And yes, your original phrasing made me take a second look, but since I'm not an Ainu, this is not the time nor place. Suffice to say, I find it unlikely I'll ever know any man as old as Gandalf. As for procreation of free will, there's this part in Laws and Customs which is quite interesting: Quote:
1. Only First Age Elves were eager to increase their kind 2. Ilúvatar was eager to avoid overpopulation later The text basically says that either the former is true, or the Eldar spent a considerable amount of their time in the bedroom in the First Age. And you remember why he was called so? Because he came late. ![]() Sorry.
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#32 | |
Wight
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Black Country, West Midlands
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As for conceiving and begetting, both are terms which we use to avoid the idea of sex. They are 'detached' terms, the chief difference between them is that "conceive" is associated more with female nature and "begat" with the male. That said, only a woman can conceive a baby, but anyone can conceive an idea, as Eru conceived the world, while begat is something you wear on a big 'ed. .
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We see everything from behind, and it looks brutal. That is not a tree, but the back of a tree ...everything is stooping and hiding a face. ~ G.K. Chesterton |
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#33 |
Curmudgeonly Wordwraith
Join Date: Jun 2007
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Perhaps they just preferred Ainul sex.
![]() Sorry, I just can't be serious with this topic.
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And your little sister's immaculate virginity wings away on the bony shoulders of a young horse named George who stole surreptitiously into her geography revision. |
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#34 |
Shade of Carn Dûm
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Henneth Annûn, Ithilien
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I think the Powers had sex. Melian certainly did with Thingol, Ungoliant did with lesser creatures. I figure if they can enjoy the fruits of the earth and ingest them then they can enjoy other fruits of the earth.
"so also did they EAT and DRINK, and GATHER THE FRUITS of Yavannah from the Earth" [Sil, p. 82]
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"For believe me: the secret for harvesting from existence the greatest fruitfulness and the greatest enjoyment is - to live dangerously!" - G.S.; F. Nietzsche |
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#35 | |
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Lonely Isle
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In the same way Smeagol, due to the influence of the One Ring, from being a hobbit came to be something else, his life prolonged far beyond what was normal for his race. I liked the fact that Tolkien never called Gollum a hobbit, only saying once that he might look like a very ancient hobbit. |
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#36 | |
Mighty Quill
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Walking off to look for America
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I did not have the time earlier to read everyone's responses to this thread, but I am glad that it sparked a good (and mostly serious
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After reading this thread, my current opinion is that the "higher" beings in Middle-earth had the power to either desire or not desire intimacy with each other. I still can't see Sauron having any inclination to perform the act of sex. My feelings on the physical bodies of these beings (when they are in a humaniod state, anyway) are thus: they had bodies that worked much the same as ours. Going back to eating and drinking, we know that the Valar, for instance, ate and drank, so therefore they must have needed a digestive tract and some way to dispose of their waste, so why not also have reproductive organs?
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The Party Doesn't Start Until You're Dead.
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#37 | |
A Voice That Gainsayeth
Join Date: Nov 2006
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Quote:
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"Should the story say 'he ate bread,' the dramatic producer can only show 'a piece of bread' according to his taste or fancy, but the hearer of the story will think of bread in general and picture it in some form of his own." -On Fairy-Stories |
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#38 | |
Mighty Quill
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Walking off to look for America
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Quote:
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The Party Doesn't Start Until You're Dead.
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#39 |
A Voice That Gainsayeth
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I guess that would come back to what you were talking about with Bethberry, and with which I agree, as in, by no means would I want to diminish any sexual desires among older people, but generally it probably isn't as common or as strong, and with this I would say that the Wizards were indeed not of "that cathegory" and so their distractions would come from different hobbies, interests, and so on. Especially if you take into account that they were in the position of having an entirely new world to explore, literally.
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"Should the story say 'he ate bread,' the dramatic producer can only show 'a piece of bread' according to his taste or fancy, but the hearer of the story will think of bread in general and picture it in some form of his own." -On Fairy-Stories |
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#40 | |
Curmudgeonly Wordwraith
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And your little sister's immaculate virginity wings away on the bony shoulders of a young horse named George who stole surreptitiously into her geography revision. |
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