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Old 04-17-2004, 06:31 PM   #41
The Saucepan Man
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Pipe Well now, that's easy ...

Quote:
What's black and white and red all over?
The Red Book of Westmarch.
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Old 04-17-2004, 07:07 PM   #42
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black & white & red all over

A guard of the Citadel in the thick of battle.

Eeew.
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Old 04-19-2004, 08:18 AM   #43
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Dark-Eye

Why do birds fly south?

To rescue hobbits from volcanoes.
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Old 04-20-2004, 02:08 PM   #44
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Why do birds fly south?

Movie Treebeard: Because they always liked going south. Somehow it feels like going downhill....
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Old 04-20-2004, 04:40 PM   #45
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Marvelous, Saucepan.

mark12_30, you have inspired me with that Gondor idea...

What's black and white and red all over?

A Guard of the Citadel in a blender.
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Old 04-21-2004, 02:47 PM   #46
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White Tree

Continuing on that line of thought-

*What's black and white and red all over?*

The guard of the Citadel with a bad allergic reaction.

Heh heh! Wait, that wasn't funny... Oh well. Humor me. It's my birthday!
-MAEG

PS- I like the new tree icon!
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Old 04-22-2004, 12:27 AM   #47
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What's black and white and red all over?
Saruman's beard after a spraypainting by M&P.
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Old 04-22-2004, 11:21 PM   #48
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Gandalf: What is black and white and red all over?

Sam: Please Mr. Gandalf, don't turn me into anything...unnatural!
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Old 04-25-2004, 07:57 PM   #49
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Silmaril

What is black and white and red all over?

Sam: Po-ta-toes!

Right.
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Old 04-25-2004, 10:35 PM   #50
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Narya Optional...

Why do birds fly south?

Legolas: You neither need borrow a horse or be troubled by one.

What's black and white and red all over?

Halbarad put catsup all over Aragorn's banner.
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Old 04-26-2004, 01:55 PM   #51
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Eye

What's black and white and red all over?
PJ's script.

Why do birds fly south?
They're reporting to Isengard, of course!

Meh heh heh!
MAEG!
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Old 04-26-2004, 05:21 PM   #52
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We are sick, sick people.

What's black and white and red all over?

Orthanc with a Canadian flag on it!
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Old 05-04-2004, 01:32 AM   #53
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Silmaril

Quote:
Halbarad put catsup all over Aragorn's banner.
How about the Mouth of Sauron squirting mayonnaise all over Barad-dur's banner?
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Old 05-04-2004, 06:42 AM   #54
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Oooooo-kay, let's try a new one... (eeeew.)

How about:

To the house of a friend,
the road is never long.
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Old 05-12-2004, 01:54 PM   #55
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Boots

To the house of a friend,
The road is never long.

Bilbo- Except when the Road goes ever on and on...

Oh great, not the singing again!!!!
~Maeg
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Old 05-17-2004, 02:39 AM   #56
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Narya Top ten reactions to

To the house of a friend,
the road is never long.

10. Sauron: It's long. Yes, it's long. *starts walking to the void*
9. Túrin: What friend? I killed 'em all!
8. Fatty: As long as they have mushroom for supper.
7. Bilbo: But never leave without a pocket-handkerchief.
6. Finrod: Though I wish it weren't so. Drat you, Beren!

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Brain lag! The rest of the list later...this year.
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Old 05-18-2004, 03:00 PM   #57
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To the house of a friend...

Smeagol: Smeagol will lead you on safe paths through the mist. Follow Smeagol.

Boromir:
Long have I wandered by roads forgotten.

Bilbo:
If that was worth a journey of a hundred and ten days to hear, you had best listen to it.
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Old 05-19-2004, 09:02 AM   #58
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The Eye

To the house of a friend,
the road is never long.

Treebeard: Don't be hasty!
Galadriel: I cannot tell you what path to take, or what is right or wrong that is for you to decide. (*Can't remember exact quote *)
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Old 05-20-2004, 05:09 AM   #59
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Silmaril To the house of a friend, the road is never long...

Theoden and Aragorn: Really? Then why did it take us so long to reach Minas Tirith?

Denethor (whispers): Because I am not your friend. *sniff*
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Old 06-15-2004, 11:41 AM   #60
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White Tree Why do birds fly South?

I hate to revert, but I simply cannot believe no one posted this:

Whay do birds fly South?
Legolas: Something stirs in the East.
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Old 07-02-2004, 06:22 PM   #61
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I'm reviving this thread because I like it.Anyway, I'm not sure this is an old saw.

The early bird gets the worm, but the early worm gets eaten.

Treebeard: If it would not have been so hasty it would not have been eaten.
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Old 07-02-2004, 07:12 PM   #62
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The early bird gets the worm

Gollum: Iss it juicy? Iss it ssweet? Is it ssscrumptiously crunchable?
Sam: You'll make Mr. Frodo sick, eating it like that!
Gollum (again): Give it to us raw and wwwrrrriggling!

Legolas: One bite is enough to fill the stomach of a grown man!
Merry: so... how many did you eat? Pippin: *burp* umm... four?

Legolas: Would you like me to describe it? (ew.)

and legolas again.. my favorite quote ever!
Legolas: He was twitching. *nod*

haha this is a good one!
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Old 07-02-2004, 09:09 PM   #63
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the early bird gets the worm

Gwaihir: "Or the Hobbit."

Wormtongue: "Un-claw me, Eagle!"
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...down to the water to see the elves dance and sing upon the midsummer's eve.
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Old 07-04-2004, 05:38 PM   #64
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Boots The early bird gets the worm

Galadriel: Leave it out! Celeborn's not that bad.

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Old 07-06-2004, 10:56 PM   #65
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Narya The early bird gets the worm, but the early worm gets eaten.

Túrin: So does that make me a bird?
Glaurung: I don't think so...


Post-mortem:
Sorry this took so long...

Top Ten replies to...
To the house of a friend,
the road is never long.

5. Gandalf: Tell me, friend, why is your house three hundred stories tall? With no elevator!
4. Olwë: What friend? They killed half my people!
3. Treebeard: There's this dormouse. He lives in my beard. He tickles me sometimes. Yep, he's my friend.
2. Frodo: Sam trashed my house. We're no longer friends.

And...
1. Bombadil: Eh, what?
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Old 07-16-2004, 10:54 PM   #66
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Silmaril The early bird gets the worm...

Crebain from Dunland: ...or the Nine Walkers.
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Old 09-15-2004, 01:58 AM   #67
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Narya New old saw!

Sticks and stones may break my bones . . .

Théoden: . . . but it was my horse who killed me.
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Old 09-15-2004, 01:30 PM   #68
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Good one, Nilp!!

Sticks and stones may break my bones--

Grima: "I told you to forbid his staff!"
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Old 09-18-2004, 07:59 AM   #69
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Why did the chicken cross the road? and Why do birds fly south?

Pippen and Merry: They can search far and wide, they can drink the whole town dry, but they'll never find a beer so brown as the one we drink in our home town.
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Old 09-19-2004, 01:44 AM   #70
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Silmaril Sticks and stones may break my bones...

Saruman's minions in Isengard (movie): ...and they did. Dratted hobbits!!!
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Old 09-19-2004, 01:42 PM   #71
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Sticks Ands Stones may break my bones-- especially those peices of Minas Tirith...
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Old 09-19-2004, 02:08 PM   #72
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Why did the chicken cross the road?

Elrond (Film): Chickens are a virus!

The early bird gets the worm,


Aragorn: Really? Well let Anduril speak!

Anduril: Hello!
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Old 09-19-2004, 02:13 PM   #73
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Sticks and stones may break my bones

Frodo: But arrows shall never hurt me.
Ent: I don't have bones.
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Old 09-20-2004, 10:25 AM   #74
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The Eye Sticks and stones may break my bones ...

Witch King: But no living man may hinder me.
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Old 09-22-2004, 01:24 AM   #75
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Narya Sticks and stones may break my bones . . .

Gollum: Don't hurt us with nasty cruel steel!

What?
What?!

What!?
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Old 09-22-2004, 06:10 AM   #76
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Sticks and stones may break my bones . . .

Aragorn: "But wait'll you hear my list of names!"
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Old 09-23-2004, 12:29 AM   #77
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Narya Sticks and stones may break my bones . . .

Treebeard: Wait. Sticks are my bones.
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Old 09-26-2004, 12:59 AM   #78
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Silmaril Sticks and stones may break my bones . . .

Eol: But they didn't. The law of gravity did.

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Old 11-10-2004, 08:12 AM   #79
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Frodo:

Sticks and stones may break my bones--
but this ring will break my heart.
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Old 11-10-2004, 08:23 AM   #80
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The Eye Sticks and stones may break my bones . . .

William Huggins: ... it makes 'em easier to chew on.
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