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Visit The *EVEN NEWER* Barrow-Downs Photo Page |
04-20-2002, 11:02 AM
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#1 |
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Ghost Eldaran Queen
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: A remote mountain in Valinor
Posts: 353
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Middle Earth Commercials!
OK...we've had Middle Earth riddles, recipies, and nursery rhymes. How about some commercials! I'll start. Oh...keep it clean and keep it related to Middle Earth, or the Mighty Mr. Barrow Wight will kill us! (on knees bowing in reverence to BW!)
If it says lembas, lembas, lembas on the label, label, label, then it should be on your table, table, table! Sting...don't leave home without it!
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A lelyat, wen! (Quenya Elvish for "You go, girl!" |
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04-20-2002, 11:54 AM
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#2 |
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Hostess of Spirits
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Meduseld
Posts: 1,056
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OK, here goes...
One gold ring... $1500 A sword that glows blue... $650 Your finger... $1000 The chance to destory the Dard Lord... PRICELESS! |
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04-20-2002, 02:48 PM
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#3 |
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Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: In a box with a fox
Posts: 1,347
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Bunch of horses running around through rugged terain.
kid: Zoom Zoom! VO: get your own rohirum horse today! (sorry, that was really lame)
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"Wake up! Wake up! Wake up, sleepies, we must go, yes, we must go at once." |
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04-20-2002, 03:05 PM
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#4 |
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Sword of the Spirit
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Washington State
Posts: 1,325
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Hobbits... when you care enough to send the very best. [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]
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Blessed be the Lord my Strength, Who trained my hands for war and my fingers to fight. Psallm 144:1 |
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04-20-2002, 03:07 PM
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#5 |
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Wight
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Scotland
Posts: 102
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"I saw this and thought of you..."
*camera shot of plain gold ring* (very much in the style of the Royal Mail adverts we get here in UK) [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]
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Meanwhile these three remain: Faith, Hope and Love. And the greatest of these is Love. |
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04-20-2002, 03:19 PM
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#6 |
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Candle of the Marshes
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Flyover Country
Posts: 780
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The scene begins with Frodo, Sam and Gandalf on a balcony in Rivendell. All are wearing masks and carrying guns and walkie-talkies.
Gandalf: Ready, Halflings 001 and 002? Frodo: Ready, Istari 002! Gandalf: Let's go! [The three of the them leap off the balcony Matrix-style and begin running down the sylvan path that they land on, running crouched low while blasting the way clear of objects and random Elves with their guns. Sam trips and falls]. Frodo: Gandalf! Sam's down! Gandalf: Leave him! There's no time! [Frodo and Gandalf crash through a pair of wooden doors to find the Council of Elrond already in session, and all the chairs taken]. Elrond: Sorry, guys. Council's full. Try again next age. Frodo: Abort! Abort! Abort! [Cut to Frodo and Gandalf walking gloomily away through the now-destroyed doors]. Voiceover: Don't want to miss the big show? Get your tickets ahead of time on Fandango. (Do you know how many TIMES I suffered through that commercial? [img]smilies/mad.gif[/img] ). [ April 20, 2002: Message edited by: Kalimac ]
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Father, dear Father, if you see fit, We'll send my love to college for one year yet Tie blue ribbons all about his head, To let the ladies know that he's married. |
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04-20-2002, 03:25 PM
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#7 |
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Sword of the Spirit
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Washington State
Posts: 1,325
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Hahaha... You have a knack for describing camera shots! [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]
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Blessed be the Lord my Strength, Who trained my hands for war and my fingers to fight. Psallm 144:1 |
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04-20-2002, 05:13 PM
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#8 |
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Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: A place worse then Mordor........School!
Posts: 1,075
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Frodo is going to put the ring on.
Sam: Frodo, you shouldn't wear that ring. It's bad for your health. Anouncer: Friends don't let friends wear evil magical rings. This has been a public service anouncement from Barad-dur.
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"There's nothing you can do, Harry... nothing... he's gone."-Remus Lupin "The closer we are to danger, the further we are from harm."-Pippin (now how can you argue with that logic?) |
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04-22-2002, 05:05 PM
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#9 |
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Ghost Eldaran Queen
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: A remote mountain in Valinor
Posts: 353
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OMG!!! These are great! Here's one:
Scene: The Prancing Pony; Several denizens of Bree (known as BDs) at the bar, with Pippin off to one side. BD#1: How ya doin'? BD#2: How ya doin'? Pippin: I'm very well thank you! Just got in tonight. My friend there Mr. Baggins drug us through the rain with some wraiths chasing us. Been here a few hours and am enjoying a few pints. BOy am I glad to get out of that rain, I tell you what... Enter another BD. BD#1: How ya doin'? BD#2: How ya doin'? BD#3: How ya doin'? BD's 1 & 2 look at 3 and shake their heads in an attempt to keep #3 from asking Pippin the same question. Pippin: I'm very well thank you... I really love that commercial! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]
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A lelyat, wen! (Quenya Elvish for "You go, girl!" |
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04-22-2002, 06:01 PM
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#10 |
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Haunting Spirit
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Over the river and through the woods (literally)
Posts: 59
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*Ringwraiths shown in a long dark pipe*
VO: Evil clogging up your sink? *Rush of foamy horses comes charging down the pipe, sweeping the Wraiths into black oblivion* VO: With new foaming action to wash Darkness right down the drain! *oh geez that was lame [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img] * [ April 22, 2002: Message edited by: Fingo ]
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"We are raised to honor all the wrong explorers and discoverers- thieves planting flags, murderers carrying crosses. Let us at last praise the colonizers of dreams." |
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04-22-2002, 07:01 PM
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#11 |
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Eerie Forest Spectre
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Buried in scrolls of fanfiction
Posts: 798
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Sweeping shots of Gandalf walking in a Shire sunset... peaceful theme music..
Close-up of Gandalf: "At the end of a hard Age, I deserve some time off. That's when I pull up a chair, and fill up my pipe.. with Old Toby.. ..the finest weed in the Four Farthings." Blows smoke rings. "After all, you deserve the best."
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Deserves death! I daresay he does... And some die that deserve life. Can you give it to them? |
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04-22-2002, 07:04 PM
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#12 |
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Eerie Forest Spectre
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Buried in scrolls of fanfiction
Posts: 798
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Galadriel stands at her mirror "it shows things that have been, some things that are, and some that have not yet come to pass."
LOUD ANNOUNCER BREAKS IN - "But for the rest of us, there's the KLPU Weather Report, at 6 and 11!"
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Deserves death! I daresay he does... And some die that deserve life. Can you give it to them? |
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04-22-2002, 07:04 PM
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#13 |
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Wight
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Middle-Earth
Posts: 210
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Barliman Butterbur carries tray with toast on it down some stairs, opens a door to find Frodo sitting in bed. Frodo picks up toast, takes a bite and, sighing, murmurs:
"i can't believe its not butter!" |
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04-22-2002, 07:06 PM
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#14 |
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Wight
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Middle-Earth
Posts: 210
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just think: that "Mr. Clean" guy replaced with a bald Gandalf.
"keep your counter clean and salmonella-free with Istari-approved 'gandalf' brand cleaners!" |
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04-22-2002, 07:36 PM
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#15 |
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Sword of the Spirit
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Washington State
Posts: 1,325
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Wecome to the Barrow-Downs, Aosama.
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Blessed be the Lord my Strength, Who trained my hands for war and my fingers to fight. Psallm 144:1 |
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04-23-2002, 03:42 PM
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#16 |
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Haunting Spirit
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: See that mound of earth? No, no, the one to the left.....There you go
Posts: 96
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Hmm...
Cheap Commercial "Are you or have you been a ring-holder? If so, you are prequalified for the Ring Holders Anonamous Credit Card and Life Insurance. Lost a finger because of a ring? Don't fret! RHA will gladly pay for surgery and recovery. With the RHA credit card, you are privy to some of Middle-Earth's greatest discounts at all your favorite stores. Don't delay! Call 1-800-RHA-2DAY, that's 1-800-742-2329 (this number is non-existent)
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"And at night, I cruise the streets of Gotham City in my Davemobile" -Dave Nelson |
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04-23-2002, 04:23 PM
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#17 |
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Ghost Eldaran Queen
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: A remote mountain in Valinor
Posts: 353
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But wait...there's more! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]
Frodo, Gollum, and Saruman at Mount Doom, Frodo & Gollum are wrestling on the ground by the fire. Saruman: Boys! What's all this about? Frodo: Well, Gollum and I were arguing over the ring, and we got into a fight, and we were wrong. Saruman: Why don't you hand me the ring. Frodo hands Saruman the ring. Saruman: Oh goody, goody, goody! (Runs off to use the ring for evil). Gollum: What just happened, Frodo? Frodo: We got hosed, Gollum! We got hosed! [ April 23, 2002: Message edited by: Aralaithiel ]
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A lelyat, wen! (Quenya Elvish for "You go, girl!" |
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09-08-2002, 06:38 PM
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#18 |
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Haunting Spirit
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Middle-Earth
Posts: 68
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*Think of this as the Geico commercial*
Cave Troll (replacing the gecko): Hello! Balrog (replacing the Taco Bell Dog): Oh great, a talking Cave Troll (Yes I know, it belongs in a drain! [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img] )
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"Your bodygaurd?" "His Gardner" |
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09-09-2002, 03:38 PM
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#19 |
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Haunting Spirit
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Hobbiton
Posts: 69
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haha! those are so0o funny! I espesally like the "i can't believe it not butter" one and the mastercard one with the PRICELESS thingy! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] do sum more cause i can't think of ne!
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"My dear Frodo! Hobbits really are amazing creatures. You can learn all that there is to know about their ways in a month, and yet after a hundred years they can still surprise you." ~ Gandalf to Frodo |
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09-10-2002, 10:34 AM
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#20 |
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Animated Skeleton
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Buckland
Posts: 41
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ok! i liked the 1 in Sam's scenes post? (i think) .. i can't find it so it's goin from memory....
Arwen: That's right folks! You can have this here hobbit all just for $19.95!!!! but wait! call within 5 minutes and we'll through in this ruling ring absolutly free! but hurry! suplies are limited, offer only while supplies last! .... sort of..
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`Merry';) |
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09-10-2002, 08:11 PM
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#21 |
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Haunting Spirit
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Hobbiton
Posts: 69
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ok u noe that stupid clorox commercial where the song keeps repeating in your head?! Well i'm gonna use that one b/c I can never forget it.
You see Frodo holding the ring and doin a hobbity dance. The singer comes in, and this is how the song goes: Frodo has the One, a ring filled with magic. Bilbo gave it to him, that part was tragic. Frodo has the One, a ring filled with magic. Frodo has the power of, the One. It's ended with Frodo and Bilbo doing the hobbity jig together, and then Frodo suprisingly dissapears [img]smilies/eek.gif[/img] haha i noe that was dumb [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]
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"My dear Frodo! Hobbits really are amazing creatures. You can learn all that there is to know about their ways in a month, and yet after a hundred years they can still surprise you." ~ Gandalf to Frodo |
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09-10-2002, 09:59 PM
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#22 |
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Shade of Carn Dűm
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Dontgonearthe Castle
Posts: 414
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Merry and Pippin fighting over a phone
Pippin: Pizza Pizza Pizza!! Pippin grabs phone and has a blank look Merry:0800-30-40-50and ask for mega top it has 50% more mushrooms and its only $2 extra! fade out to a picture of a pizza completely covered in mushrooms!!! OMG i hate that commercial its on at least twice every commercial break!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [img]smilies/mad.gif[/img] [img]smilies/mad.gif[/img]
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Athrabeth *is still doing the wave for Boromir the Disco-King* Oh...and call me Morgy! |
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09-11-2002, 05:29 PM
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#23 |
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Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Where young people go to retire
Posts: 747
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Hehehe [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img]
{shows a lonely hobbit} Ever feel lonely, looked down upon, picked on {shows men beating up hobbits} Well, fear no more! Buy your own personal Ring Wraith! For only $19.95! You will never feel loney! People will shudder in fear! Plus you get a good chance of finding the one ring! Warning: May cause fear. People who oppose Sauron or posses the one ring should not use this product. [ September 12, 2002: Message edited by: Morai ]
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"So why the safe distance, this curious look? Why tear out single pages when you can throw away the book? Why pluck one string when you can strum the guitar? MeWithoutYou http://fortyfifthparadox.com |
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09-11-2002, 05:41 PM
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#24 |
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Haunting Spirit
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Middle-Earth
Posts: 68
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Thought of another one....
*This is about those country commercials* Announcer: Don't you wish you could relive the music of Middle-Earth... *Gandalf sings* The road goes ever on and on... *Then Sam sings* Gil-Galad was an elven king... Announcer: Then get this set of songs on 2 cassettes or 2 CDs. *Then Frodo sings* O! Wanderers in the shadowed land.... *Then Pippin sings* Sing hey! for the bath at close of day... Announcer: This collection of songs includes artist like Gandalf the Grey, Frodo Baggins, Peregrin Took, and much much more! *The blue screen comes on with the phone number and all that junk* Announcer: Don't delay act now!
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"Your bodygaurd?" "His Gardner" |
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09-11-2002, 06:11 PM
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#25 |
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Shade of Carn Dűm
Join Date: Sep 2002
Posts: 421
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Diamonds are forever!
Buy her the Nenya Ring (Galadriel's) Today!And may your love be eternal! |
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09-11-2002, 08:26 PM
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#26 |
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Pile O'Bones
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 14
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OMG i am laughing so hard right now.
Okay here's mine it's lame Verion wireless guy: (on the top of orthank)*takin in to the planinter (sp?)* can you hear me now... good. ..... okay thatwas dumb [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]
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"It is said never go to the elves for advice for they will andswer with both No, and Yes" |
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09-11-2002, 08:49 PM
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#27 |
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Shade of Carn Dűm
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: The Pacific Northwest - Tir Nan Og
Posts: 306
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That was fabulous, I suppose I should contribute.
[scene opens to a husband and wife , the husband holding the mail. He opened one of the envelopes and exclaims] husband: Have you see these surcharges? It like been raided! [in back ground see hordes of orcs and men running to the couple and their goods] wife: Do not be beside yourself! Be at ease, we have the new RangerOne card, no suprise charges and lower rates. [the hordes stop and are now fustrated. An orc removes his helmet and throws it to the ground and begins to jump on it.] announcer: gives shpell about the credit card [an smaller orc with his short sword ready and a grin] orc: What's in your wallet? The best commercial was the medieval barbarians and the two knights, after that it got pretty lame.
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Mes sana in corpec sano- (lt.) A sound mind in a sound body |
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09-12-2002, 12:04 PM
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#28 |
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Pile O'Bones
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Rivendell
Posts: 15
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You see Gandalf and Pippin on Shadowfax. Shadowfax whips around. Facing foward. Pippin says " Whats the matter? "
Gandalf replies " I forgot my ale " then Pippin says " uh oh" You see Shadowfax whinny and take off. You see a drunk look at Gandalfs ale on a post out side of the tavern. He picks it up. Just then you see Gandalf and Pippin on Shadowfax. Shodowfax jups on to a pile of barrels, leap and do a summersault. Gandalf grabs his ale from the drunk and starts pouring down his throat. Then him and Shadowfax lands..... You know A " Middle-Earthenized" Mountain Dew commercial.
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~* Telwilyaiel*~ |
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09-17-2002, 01:53 PM
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#29 |
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Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: A place worse then Mordor........School!
Posts: 1,075
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Aragorn is running around fighting orcs. Blue swet is running down his face.
Then the announcer guy says "Gatorade! Is it in you?"
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"There's nothing you can do, Harry... nothing... he's gone."-Remus Lupin "The closer we are to danger, the further we are from harm."-Pippin (now how can you argue with that logic?) |
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09-22-2002, 06:12 PM
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#30 |
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Shade of Carn Dűm
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Crawled in a dark corner
Posts: 369
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for some reason, i have the thought of tom bombadil as a used-car salesmen in my head.
scary...
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"It's not stupid, it's advanced!" -Invader Zim |
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09-22-2002, 06:34 PM
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#31 |
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Wight
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: At the bottom of a black hole. Actually, it's quite nice. Hey, is that Elvis?!
Posts: 136
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Arwen: Do you remember when we first met?
Aragorn: You said you would bind yourself to me forever. Arwen: And to that I hol...What is that amazing smell? Announcer: Do you want to attract someone, but are too ashamed of your bodily odour? Then get Eau de Aragorn, the rugged smell of sweat, blood, and other foresty things we're not allowed to mention on air. Just two sprays, and you'll be attracting your own Evenstar. Eau de Aragorn: When regular cologne just isn't enough.
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In my opinion, Tolkien is a lot like Alexander Keith's: Those Who Like It, Like It A Lot!! Yay for Great Big Sea!! Aitken Centre, November 22 |
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09-22-2002, 11:47 PM
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#32 |
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Animated Skeleton
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 45
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Sauron-Are you tired of having middle-earth helmet hair? Then buy your Solid Sauron Hair gel today!
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Nazgul, just evil hiding under sheets (reference to the Chronocals of Zoe and Kelly, retrieved from the depths of English class) |
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09-23-2002, 03:08 PM
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#33 | |
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Wight
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: At the bottom of a black hole. Actually, it's quite nice. Hey, is that Elvis?!
Posts: 136
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Quote:
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In my opinion, Tolkien is a lot like Alexander Keith's: Those Who Like It, Like It A Lot!! Yay for Great Big Sea!! Aitken Centre, November 22 |
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09-23-2002, 06:42 PM
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#34 |
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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Oh gosh I'm going to fall out of my chair laughing,this is too much..can't stop laughing..
<A shot of a jumbled company of hobbits,men,elves,dwarves and a few orcs inside an inn,all appear to be drinking the same drink. <A close-up shot of a strangely familiar hobbit is shown,he takes a sip of his drink,sighs and raises the mug, "Proper fourteen-twenty!" <A smooth announcer's voice comes on and a shot of a full and frothy mug is shown, "1420,when it's that good." Oh dear,that's really bad. Like really,REALLY, really bad! Ah well...maybe not too many people will read it.. ~Willowberry~ |
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09-24-2002, 09:17 PM
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#35 |
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Reflection of Darkness
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Polishing the stars. Well, somebody has to do it; they're looking a little bit dull.
Posts: 3,027
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Sorry, Isilya. I'm kind of using your scene.
Ok, here's my lame attempt. Arwen: Do you remember when we first met? Aragorn: I thought I had strayed into a dream. Arwen: That was long ago. You did not have the cares you carry now. Do you remember what I told you? Aragorn: Uhhh, you told me I had bad breath. Arwen: Yes, and your breath smells so wonderful now. Oh, Aragorn! You have stopped smoking! I love you! *Arwen kisses Aragorn* *Aragorn turns to the camera with a cheesy smile* Announce: He didn't stop smoking. He used Rivendell Fresh Breath Spray, the #1 breath freshener used by light to heavy smokers all over Middle-earth!
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Nolite te bastardes carborundorum |
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09-24-2002, 09:29 PM
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#36 |
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Shade of Carn Dűm
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: The Pacific Northwest - Tir Nan Og
Posts: 306
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These post continue to be clever, very entertaining! Especially the helmet hair!
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Mes sana in corpec sano- (lt.) A sound mind in a sound body |
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09-25-2002, 12:01 PM
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#37 |
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Wight
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: The Cliffs of Insanity
Posts: 178
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*Frodo standing outside Bag End, admiring the freshly-varnished front door*
VO: Do you want a smooth front door like this one without the worry of rain spoiling your varnish? *begins to rain, Frodo shrugs and goes inside* VO: Then you need Ronsil 30 minute varnish... it does exactly what it says on the ring, er, I mean, tin!
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You mean you'll put down your rock and I'll put down my sword and we'll try to kill each other like civilized people? |
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09-25-2002, 04:53 PM
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#38 |
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Wight
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: At the bottom of a black hole. Actually, it's quite nice. Hey, is that Elvis?!
Posts: 136
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My apologies to Tigerlily, but the commercial's a classic.
Glowing sword: Inherited Mithril Vest: Inherited One Gold Ring: Inherited The chance to beat the crap out of the Dark Lord and only lose one finger in the process: Priceless There are some things money can't buy. For everything else, there's Bilbo&Frodocard.
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In my opinion, Tolkien is a lot like Alexander Keith's: Those Who Like It, Like It A Lot!! Yay for Great Big Sea!! Aitken Centre, November 22 |
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10-03-2002, 01:12 PM
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#39 |
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Shade of Carn Dűm
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Crawled in a dark corner
Posts: 369
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THIS IS YOUR BRAIN
 THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON LEAF 
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"It's not stupid, it's advanced!" -Invader Zim |
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10-03-2002, 04:10 PM
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#40 |
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Eidolon of a Took
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: my own private fantasy world
Posts: 3,561
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Ahahaha! I especially love "Eau de Aragorn", Isilya, and the Mountain Dew parody, Telwilyeil Greenleaf!
*Deep breath* now I shall try my hand: Pippin is sitting by himself in the dark. Announcer: You've been dragged around by Uruk-hai, had to sit through a three-day Entmoot, and Gandalf snapped at you the very first time you saw him after he came back from the dead! What would make you feel better? Pippin: Pipe-weed? Announcer: No! You need to come to Palantíri-R-Us! Black ones, blue ones, purple ones, chartreuse ones! Look in a Palantír today and all your troubles will go away! Okay, so that was lame. Maybe I'll come back if I get a decent idea...
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All shall be rather fond of me and suffer from mild depression. |
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Linear Mode
