Funniest Lines

[GaladrieloftheOlden]

I am <B>sure</B> that there is a thread on this somewhere, but I couldn't find it. If you know where it is, please post the link. Meanwhile... what did you think were some of the funniest lines in the movies? (Don't post them all, this thread will be taking up too much room.) <P>I'll post a few... one for now<BR>In the extended version, when the Fellowship comes to the Gates of Moria, I like this exchange:<BR>Gimli: The walls of Moria!<BR><The company rounds the lake. Gimli taps on the wall.><BR>Gimli: Gimli: Dwarf doors are invisible when closed.<BR>Gandalf: Yes Gimli, their own masters cannot find them if their secrets are forgotten.<BR>Legolas: Why does that not surprise me? <BR><Gimli rolls his eyes and growls.><BR> <p>[ February 26, 2003: Message edited by: GaladrieloftheOlden ]

[Meela]

in ttt:<P>Elrond: let her go. let her take the ship into the undying lands. there it will be evergreen!<P>the way he says evergreen makes me fall off my seat laughing

[Rochelle]

I found the most comic lines were spoken between Gimli and Legolas (I at one point had two of them in my signature...) <P>Here are two of the best!<P> <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Gimli: What's happening out there?<BR>Legolas: Shall I describe it to you? Or would you like me to find you a box? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>and...<P> <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Gimli: Legolas, two already!<BR>Legolas: I'm on seventeen!<BR>Gimli: Arg! I’ll have no pointy-ear outscoring me! <BR>Legolas: Nineteen! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>*lol* That last one is one of my all time favorites...it varies slightly in the book (see sig) but I must announce that Gimli beat Legolas by one!

[Peri]

Almost anything that Gollum said was funny. I liked the line "You don't have any friends. Nobody likes you!" It's just so funny. Here's some other good ones:<P>Pippin: "The closer we are to danger, the further we are from harm."<BR>Treebeard: "Then again you are very small."<P>Faramir: "Your bodyguard?"<BR>Sam: "His gardener."

[BethoHOG]

I love it when Smeagol is in the Forbidden Pool, and is singing:<P>Rock and pool<BR>Is nice and cool<BR>So juicy sweeeet!<BR>I only wish<BR>To catch a fish<BR>So juicy sweeeet!<P>It's so hilarious the way he wacks the fish against the rock at the same time.

[GaladrieloftheOlden]

Those were some of the ones that I liked too, definitely. Here are some more:in the beginning of the extended version, Bilbo is writing in his book. I rather liked this exerpt (did I spell that right?): "In fact, it has been remarked by some that Hobbits' only real passion is for food. A rather unfair observation, as we have also developed a keen interest in the brewing of ales and the smoking of pipe-weed."<BR>Also in the estended version: Frodo: "Half the Shire's been invited. And the rest of them are turning up anyway." I also find it a bit funny now (though not at the point when I was watching it for the first time)that the hobbits were basically running underneath the Black Rider's horse at one point, and he didn't catch tham, and that Frodo, a hobbit, accomplished such a leap that a rare Man could. Another: Boromir: The shards of Narsil! The blade that cut the ring from Sauron's hand! <Boromir runs his finger up the blade and cuts himself><BR>Boromir: <in amazement> It's still sharp!<BR>I like the <in amazement> part- I mean, no matter how old it is, you would expect a sword to be at least <I>slightly</I> sharp. Okay, I won't put anymore in in this post.

[Morai]

I thik the whole scene with Gollum arguing with himself was extremely funny!<BR>Then there's Gimli explaining the idea of female dwarfs. (Is it just me, or does Gimli seem to be attracted to blondes? i.e. Galadriel in the extended version)<P>In the fellowship of the ring:<P>Pippin: "No second breakfast? What about 3rd, elevensis, Luncheon, Afternoon tea, Dinner, Supper!" <BR>Merry: "Pip, I don't he knows about 2nd breakfast."

[Shy Hobbit]

"Are we lost?"<P>"No."<P>"I think we're lost."<P>"Shh! Gandalf's thinking."<P>"Merry"<P>"What?"<P>"I'm hungry"<P>Just the way that whole conversation flows in whispers...I love it, tee hee!

I personally like;<P>frodo:You're late<BR>gangalf:A wizard is never late, frodo baggins, nor is he early, he arrives presisly when he means too.<P>Then they crack up laughing.<P>I just like that one.

[Arwen_Evenstar]

Gimli: Toss me.<BR>Aragorn: What?!<BR>Gimli: I canne jump that far, you'll have to toss me! Dont tell the elf!<P>That bit cracked me up...and the box one...and the women dwarf thing...OH and:<BR>Merry: Ents? Tree herders!<BR>Pippin: Don't talk to it Merry, Dont encourage it!<P>I thought that was hilarious!

[Eruwen]

Funniest lines? OMG, I could go on forever with this one. {Fortunately, I'm not.} Anyway, here are a few of my favorites from both movies {well, all 3 if you count the extended}...<BR>---------------------------------------------<BR>Gandalf: {says something in Elvish at the doors of Moria}<P>Pippin: Nothing's happening<BR>---------------------------------------------<BR>Pippin: Done.<P>Merry: You're supposed to stick it in the ground.<P>Pippin: It is in the ground<P>Merry: Outside...<P>Pippin: This was your idea...{Lets out a very girlish squeaky scream as the firework shoots into the sky}<BR>---------------------------------------------<BR>Sam: Boy, mind who you're sweet talking...<P>Frodo: Don't worry Sam, Rosie knows an idiot when she sees one.<P>Sam: Does she?<BR>---------------------------------------------<BR>Gandalf: Ah, I once knew every spell in all the tongues of old, then I lost them.<P>Pippin: What are you going to do then?<P>Gandalf: Knock your head against these doors, Peregrin Took, and if that does not shatter them, then I will be allowed a little peace from foolish questions. I'm trying to find the open words.<BR>---------------------------------------------<BR>Legolas: Lembas! Elvish waybred. One small bite is enough to fill the stomach of a grown man.<P>Merry: How many did you eat?<P>Pippin: Four<BR>---------------------------------------------<P>I would do some from TTT, but I fear I have put too many already. I will let others carry on the humor with more lines. Wow. That was alot.

[Arvedui III]

Everything Gollem says is funny.<BR>"Stupid fat hobbitis"

Funniest Line<BR>Gimli: Breathe.....that the key....don't stop breathing<BR> <BR>

[the real nazgul]

Dramatic scene. Soldiers lined up on Helms deep. Camera sweeps left. Just at the point of nerves, there is a voice:<BR>"I should've chose a better spot!"<BR>I laughed at that!

[GaladrieloftheOlden]

I've already mentioned it, but I really like this in the extended version:<P>Gimli: Gimli: Dwarf doors are invisible when closed.<BR>Gandalf: Yes Gimli, their own masters cannot find them if their secrets are forgotten.<BR>Legolas: Why does that not surprise me? <P>When, in TTT, A, G, and L notice that the footprints of Merry and Pippin go into Fangorn they friek out like it's something totally unexpected. But what do you expect a hobbit (or two) to do when they're in the middle of a battle, and there's convenitently a nice forest nearby? They took it as an extreme surprise. Also the expresion on Aragorn's face when he has to drop his sword because it's boiling hot is...interesting.<P>Legolas: You're late. You look terrible.

[Mattius]

GaladrieloftheOlden, the quote yo refer to-<P> <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Boromir: The shards of Narsil! The blade that cut the ring from Sauron's hand! <BR>Boromir: It's still sharp!<BR><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Refers to a programme that Sean Bean stared in called 'Sharpe' as a British general during the Napoleonic Wars. It was fantastic and I don't think it was shown in America.<P>My fav line though is- "Everywhere I lay theres a great big root sticking in my back!"

[Meela]

in fotr, theyre on the rocks near the misty mts. just before the crebain fly over.<P>Gimli: nothing, its just a wisp of cloud.<P>Boromir: its moving fast, and against the wind.<P>i always imagine gimli following boromirs line with:<P>Gimli: nothing, its just a wisp of cloud.<P>talk about mr. ignorant.

[Rochelle]

"Crebain from Dunland!"<P>*lol* The only reason this is hilarious is because my brother and I played a little "game" where we muted the words and spoke the lines ourseleves (yes we've watched it that many times)<P>I wanted to quote Legolas but he insisted he would so I pouted and said "not only do you get to say 'He is Aragorn, son of Arathorn. You owe him your allegiance'...but you also get to say 'Crebain from Dunland!'" *hehe*<P>Sorry...but it did say funny lines!

[GaladrieloftheOlden]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR> <BR>quote:<BR>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------<BR>Boromir: The shards of Narsil! The blade that cut the ring from Sauron's hand! <BR>Boromir: It's still sharp!<P>--------------------------------------------------------------------------------<P>Refers to a programme that Sean Bean stared in called 'Sharpe' as a British general during the Napoleonic Wars. It was fantastic and I don't think it was shown in America.<P> <HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>But isn't ot [possible that there was no pun intended, and he meant exactly what he said? Then again, maybe not.

[Mattius]

Yeah perhaps but either way it is still a good line!

[Goldberry]

Somebody already said this one, but I like it too:<P>Legolas: "Lembas! Elvish waybread. One small bite is enough to fill the stomach of a grown man."<P>Merry: "How many did you eat?"<P>Pippin: "Four."<P>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR>Also, I like Bilbo's line at his speech:<P>"I know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve!" or whatever that is. The hobbits don't know whether that is a good thing or a bad thing, and I like the expression on Gandalf's face. tee hee

Brego giving Aragorn a big smooch while he is dreaming of Arwen.<P>Haldir's "the dwarf breathes so loud we could have shot him in the dark".<P>Elrond's expression when Merry and Pippin burst onto the scene at the Council in Rivendell.<P>Merry and Pippin with the big dragon firework (already mentioned by Eruwen - excellent taste) and the "don't encourage it" line (already mentioned by Arwen Evenstar, who also has excellent taste)<P>Then there's something I always laugh at but probably no-one else does; in the extended version of FOTR, when Arwen is sharing sad farewell looks with Aragorn as the Fellowship leaves Rivendell, there are two elves standing next to her, a man and a woman. The man looks like he belongs in a Mafia movie, and we have dubbed him "Italian elf". Hihihi

I like the quote from bilbo's speech,<P>My dear Bagginses and Boffins! [Cheers from the crowd.] <BR>Tooks and Brandybucks! [Cheers from the crowd.] <BR>Grubbs! [More cheers.] <BR>Chubbs! [Yet more cheers.] <BR>Hornblowers! [Cheers] <BR>Bolgers! [Cheers] <BR>Bracegirdles! And Proudfoots! <P>Proudfoot: Proudfeet! <BR>[The crowd laughs, as Bilbo waves his hand dismissively, in the direction of the Proodfoot Hobbit.] <P>That one is very laughable!<BR>

[GaladrieloftheOlden]

Yes, I loved that one too! <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR> Then there's something I always laugh at but probably no-one else does; in the extended version of FOTR, when Arwen is sharing sad farewell looks with Aragorn as the Fellowship leaves Rivendell, there are two elves standing next to her, a man and a woman. The man looks like he belongs in a Mafia movie, and we have dubbed him "Italian elf". Hihihi<BR> <HR></BLOCKQUOTE><BR>Really? I never noticed. I should look again. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR> Brego giving Aragorn a big smooch while he is dreaming of Arwen. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Yes I noticed that as well, and every time I see that part again, I think, rather stupidly; "Arwen's got competition" and then I look back and wonder what I found so funny. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR> my brother and I played a little "game" where we muted the words and spoke the lines ourseleves (yes we've watched it that many times)<BR> <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I have too, and I play that "game" as well. Welcome to the club!<BR> <p>[ March 04, 2003: Message edited by: GaladrieloftheOlden ]

[Silmarien]

There's a person I know and he puts in these little comments in the really unfunny bits that are hilairious. Anyway here's one.<P>Frodo has just looked in Galadriels mirror and at the end he suddenly is thrown backwards.("Don't let hunger pains hit you!")<P>Now I hear it every time I see that part. <P>I also think the look on Pippins face just after they've come out of Moria is funny (he looks like he's laughing) but it's a bad place to have a funny look.<P>Everyone said all the other ones I can think of.

[GaladrieloftheOlden]

The Pippin look- do you mean when they're crying about Gandalf? i thought I saw something like it there, but you can never be sure.

Those come in pints?

[GaladrieloftheOlden]

Aragorn's floating armor in TTT...I always think of a little tag hanging out that says: Middle Earth armor- special features! It floats! And then, maybe, in smaller letters- Not for battling purposes. Oh, oops, that wasn't a line.<BR>Frodo: I have to leave the Shire. Sam and I must get to Bree. <BR>Merry: Right... Bucklebury Ferry. Follow me. <BR>He makes it rhyme- I know it's not funny now, but somebody mentioned it to me, and every time since that I've seen it, I crack up at that point, gaining many strange looks.<BR>Elrond: You have only one choice. The Ring must be destroyed. <BR>Gimli: Then what are we waiting for?! <BR>(Facial expressions)

[harlindon]

Ok ok ok these are all very funny but, me favorites, well they aren't really quotes. They are off of the subtitles from boot leg copies. Aka illegal copies. ok here are just some of them, i swear i fall over laughing when ever i read these! HAHAHAHAHA<P><BR>Gandalf about Sauron: "His poisonous gases are spreading through Middle-Earth, taking shape..." <P><BR>Gimli to Legolas, entering Moria: "In Moria we will feast on tasty fruit stones: my nephew is very generous!" <P>Gandalf to Frodo: "I simply gave your uncle a nasty kick in the butt!" (From: "All I did was give your uncle a little nudge out of the door".) <P>Merry and Pippin in Maggots' fields: "We are just picking up discarded food" <BR>Maggot shouting after them: "Get the **** out of my field, you half-sized ****! Just let me get you, I'll tear your ears off!" <P>Saruman to Gandalf: "Tell me friend, who and when has smashed your brains out?" (From: "The love to the Shire leaf has clearly slowed your mind"). <P>Bilbo to Gandalf: "This pain is filling me and leaking out, like butter which was placed too thick on a piece of bread (From: "I feel thin --sort of stretched like butter scraped over too much bread") <P><BR>Galadriel while tempted by the Ring: "SHOW ME YOUR LOVE AND DEVOTION!" <P>Sam to Gandalf: "Please don't turn me into a thing!" <P>Galadriel (Starting from: "I amar prestar aen…"): Yummy pestle… <P>The world is crooked. <BR>I soak it up with the water, <BR>I see it in the eyes, <BR>I inhale it with the air. <P>And none, who now lives, remembers anything at all… <P>A bit of the Ring's History <P>Galadriel: "The Ring had come to the hands of creature Golom, who took it to the depth of the magic mountain, and there he was burning with mad lust". <BR>"The Ring didn't live up to expectations of the most powerful rulers. It left Golom. But everybody still had no idea. The Ring came to a man as unlucky as you can only imagine. It came to a hobbit - Bilba Baggins from the village named Shire." <P>Bilbo smoking with Gandalf: "What can be better than getting stoned with your old friend?" <P>Bilbo's speech: My dear Tooks, Brendybucks and errr… [pause] errrr… other respectable families. <P>Bilbo: "I'm old, Gandalf, even if I don't look old. But I begin to feel it with one of my parts. I feel pain, kinda. I feel the oily touch of this pain, which is scratching". (From: "I feel thin - sort of stretched like butter scraped over too much bread") <P>Bilbo's parting advices to Frodo: <P>Bilbo's voiceover advice to travellers (seems to be heartfelt): "If you aren't steady on your legs, something can knock you off and drag away … <P>Bilbo about Sting: "It was forged by Elves… Not far from cannibals. Its blade changes its color to blue. And at moments like that you have to be extra careful." <P>Aragorn throwing Frodo into a room in "Pony": "What the **** are you doing, Mr.Underhill?" <P>Sam meets Aragorn, three different versions: <P>Version 1: <BR>Sam: "Let him go or I will kill you!" <BR>Aragorn: "I'm sure you will. I don't doubt it." <P>Version 2: <BR>Sam to Aragorn in "Pony": "Are you crazy?!" <BR>Aragorn: "You have such a good heart." <P>Version 3: <BR>Sam to Aragorn in "Pony": "You're a dead man!" <BR>Aragorn: "Screw you, shortie". <P>Merry after first seeing Arwen: "Who's that chick?" <P>Saruman about Gandalf: "You are afraid to go into the Mines. Dwarves had crawled into very bowels of the mountain. You know that their shadows and sparks of fire can still be seen in the darkness of Kazad-Dun." <P>Gimli: "You will soon feel the questionable hospitality of the Dwarves." <P>Eccentric Galadriel <P>Galadriel welcoming Fellowship (From: "He has fallen into shadow. .The quest stands upon the edge of a knife. Stray but a little and it will fail to the ruin of all…. Welcome Frodo of the Shire. One who has seen the Eye!") <P>Version 1: <BR>Galadriel: "You have come to the Land of Shadow". <P>Version 2: <BR>Galadriel: "He went to the kingdom of shadows, but adventure continues! Make one wrong step and you will be lost in this world forever. Welcome Frodo. LOOK INTO MY EYES, FRODO!" <P>Boromir to Aragorn (after this greeting): "I'm so sick of this idiot woman, her voice is banging on my brains since we've come to this darned forest." <P>Yeah ok thats enough sorry people i got a little carries away with that. Its just so easy to cut and paste! Oh and I do not have a boot leg copy of this (my friend does thought bad her) i found this on a web site, how i found these i dont know but they are soooooooooo funny!!!!!! : <P>

[Calenamarthiel]

This is quite an enjoyable thread to read through. Thought I'd add some other funny lines. <P>---------------------------<P>Gandalf: Confound it all, Samwise Gangee, have you been eavesdropping again?<P>Sam: I wasn't dropping no eaves sir, honest. I was only cutting the grass under the window there, if you get my meaning.<P>Gandalf: A little late for trimming the verge, don't you think?<P>Sam: I heard raised voices.<P>Gandalf: What did you hear? Speak!<P>Sam: Well, nothing important. That is I heard a great deal about a ring, a dark lord, and something about the end of the world. Please Mr. Gandalf sir, don't hurt me. Don't turn me into anything. . . unnatural.<P>The expressions on Sam's face during this whole exchange were hilarious.<P>-------------------------------<P>Gimli: Well, here's one dwarf she won't ensnare so easily. I have the eyes of a hawk and the ears of a fox!<P>Haldir: The dwarf breathes so loud, we could have shot him in the dark.<P>-------------------------------<P>I also found this exchange rather funny:<P>Pippin: It's talking, Merry. The tree is talking.<P>Treebeard: Tree? I am no tree. I am an Ent.<P>Merry: A tree-herder. A shepherd of the forest.<P>Pippin: Don't talk to it, Merry. Don't encourage it.<P>Treebeard: Treebeard some call me.<P>Pippin: And. . . whose side are you on?<P>----------------------------<P>Gimli: What's happening out there?<P>Legolas: Shall I describe it to you, or would you like me to find you a box?<P>It's a good thing they were already friends by then, else Legolas wouldn't have gotten away with that one.<P>-----------------------------------<P>Gimli: (trying on a coat of chain mail) They should try and get this adjusted. It's a little tight across the chest.<P>Aragorn's and Legolas' expressions were actually as funny as Gimli's disgruntled one.<P>-----------------------------------<P>Gollum/Slinker: Master's our friend.<P>Gollum/Stinker: You don't have any friends. Nobody likes you.<P>This one had most of the people in the theatre cracking up.<P>------------------------------<P>Faramir: Your bodyguard?<P>Sam: His gardener.<P>------------------------------<P>Gimli: Come on, we can take them!<P>Aragorn: It's a long way.<P>Gimli: (considering) Toss me.<P>Aragorn: What?<P>Gimli: I cannot jump the distance. You have to toss me.<P>(Aragorn makes to toss him)<P>Gimli: Don't tell the elf.<P>Aragorn: Not a word.<P>Nice acting by Viggo right there. He looked like he was trying very hard not to laugh in the middle of a battle they were about to lose.<P>--------------------------------<P>Gimli: Legolas! Two already!<P>Legolas: I'm on seventeen!<P>Gimli: Argh! I'll have no pointy-ear outscoring me!<P>Legolas: Nineteen!<P>I'd have to agree with Rochelle, however, that in the book Gimli does beat Legolas by one orc, 42-41. Close fight! <P>--------------------------------<P>Legolas: (To Aragorn) You're late. You look terrible.<P>Something about his stating the obvious makes it so funny.<P>--------------------------------<P>Gimli: (to Eowyn, concerning dwarf women) In fact, we look so much alike, that they're often mistaken for dwarf men.<P>Aragorn: (to Eowyn) It's the beard.<P>Gimli: This in turn has given rise to the belief that there <B>are</B> no dwarf women, and that dwarves just spring out of holes in the ground. Which is of course ridiculous.<P>Well, there are still a lot of other lines I can think of, but I'd better end this before I take up any more space. Thanks again for starting such an enjoyable thread, GaladrieloftheOlden. <p>[ March 19, 2003: Message edited by: Calenamarthiel ]

[Calenedheliel1]

In TTT<BR>Aragon--Legolas what do your elf eyes see?Like we don't know that Legolas is an elf)<P>Legolas--They are taking the hobbits to Isengard(it seems like he is straining really hard to say this and every time my girlfriend and I see it we burst out laughing)<P>Gollum--stupid fat hobbit<P>Samwise--his gardener<p>[ March 06, 2003: Message edited by: Calenedheliel1 ]

[Sapphire_Flame]

At Helm's Deep, Gimli trying to get that mail-shirt on...<BR>Gimli: It's a little tight across the chest.<BR>Aragorn: [gives Gimli a look like, "No....really?"]<P>Another Aragorn look thing. In the Fellowship EV, when they're in Lorien, and Gimli is snoring, Aragorn gives him this <I>look</I>, then just reaches over and decks him!<P>*Pippin: It's talking Merry. The tree's talking.<P>Treebeard: Tree? I am no tree. I am an Ent.<P>Merry: A tree-herder. A shepard of the forest.<P>Pippin: Don't talk to it, Merry. Don't encourage it.*<P>Pippin: The closer we are to danger, the farther we are from harm. It'll be the last thing he expects.<P>Then the Brego thing with Aragorn at the river. I mean, is Arwen *that* bad of a kisser if Aragorn can mistake a horse for her? By the Valar....

[Finnguala]

Pippin: "No second breakfast? What about 3rd, elevensis, Luncheon, Afternoon tea, Dinner, Supper!" <BR>Merry: "Pip, I don't he knows about second breakfast." And that apple!! <P>Gimli: I have the eyes of a hawke and the ears of a fox<BR>Haldir: the Dwarf breathes so loud we could have shot him in the dark <P>Gollum: Taters? What are Taters, precious?<BR>Sam: PO-TA-TOES! (ROFL)

In the extras of the movie, they are filming merry and pippin setting off the firework. Billy boyd didn't know the firework would really go off and he screamed like a girl.<P>It was really funny!

[Eressië Ailin]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR> Nice acting by Viggo right there. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Could he ever do any <B>bad</B> acting?!?!<P>PLEASE don't answer that!!!!<p>[ March 06, 2003: Message edited by: Eressië Ailin ]

[dunadan_aragorn]

Legolas: "Lembas! Elvish waybread. One small bite is enough to fill the stomach of a grown man."<P>Merry: "How many did you eat?"<P>Pippin: "Four."<P>I have to say this again, I just ahve to.<BR>And then the apple thing, that cracks me up every time. That and the whispering, you know "I'm Hungry" And I just adore the part where Merry comes up behind Frodo in the forest just before the nazgul chases them, and he says his "that black rider was looking for something" line, then he says "Buckleberry Ferry!" That cracks me up! I know I shouldn't but I do. I am sooo defiant (sarcasm here if you didn't already percieve it, idiots! more sarcasm, more sarcasm!)

[dunadan_aragorn]

EOMER: Hi! Okay, stop me if you've heard this one. An elf, a man, and a dwarf walk into the Riddermark... <P>LEGOLAS: Ooh! And the elf shoots arrows through this git who rides up on a horse. Yeah, I HAVE heard it! That's one of my favorites.<BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~<BR>GANDALF: Hey, kids. Miss me? <P>ARAGORN: Gandalf! You're alive! <P>LEGOLAS: I almost had a facial expression from the joy of it!<BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR >GIMLI: Ooh, Aragorn, watch out! Cliff! <P>ARAGORN falls off cliff. <P>LEGOLAS: No! This is unbearable! I almost had ANOTHER facial expression!<BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~<BR>ARAGORN arrives and collides with LEGOLAS. <P>LEGOLAS: Oh, good HEAVENS. You look TERRIBLE. You are NOT wearing THAT to the battle tonight, are you? And your HAIR! What will we DO with you? <P>ARAGORN: Nice to see you, too. <BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<BR>GAL ADRIEL: Hello? Is this Elrond? <BR>ELROND: Yes, speaking. <BR>GALADRIEL: Hi Elrond; it's Galadriel. <BR>ELROND: Hey, girl. Where are you? <BR>GALADRIEL: In Lothlorien; where else would I be? Listen, I really wanted to talk to you about Frodo. <BR>ELROND: Yeah, I've been wondering about him lately. <BR>GALADRIEL: He and Aragorn have SO much stuff to do. <BR>ELROND: I know! And Aragorn's being such a wiener, I'm not even sure I want him to marry my daughter... <BR>GALADRIEL: Did you see his hair the other week? Hello, greaseball. <BR>ELROND: And does he, like, only have that one shirt? Humans are so gross.<BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~<BR>SAM seasons their rabbit stew as GOLLUM watches. <BR>GOLLUM: Ssstupid fat hobbit! Using sage in stew like thisss! <P>SAM: What's your problem? Sage brings out the flavor. <P>GOLLUM: Smeagol would use nice mix of rosemary and lavender, yess, precious. <P>FRODO: Hey, you guys? Something's out there in the forest. <P>SAM: Rosemary? Hm, maybe. But you know what WOULD be good with this, is a basic bechamel sauce with some dill. <P>GOLLUM: Sssimple hobbit; anyone makesss bechamel. Vichyssoise much tastier and more difficult; yes... <P>FRODO: Hello? Guys? Seriously, someone's coming. <P>SAM: Now, if you only found us some eggs, I could make crepes, wrap up the meat, drizzle the juices over it with a little bit of blackcurrant chutney... <P>FRODO: Hey, you guys, look! It's Martha Stewart! <P>GOLLUM: Where? <P>SAM: Where? <BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<P >ROHIRRIM GUARD: Sire, there are some really femmy people at the gate. They have bows. <BR>ARAGORN: Those are Elves. Let them in. <P>ROHIRRIM GUARD: Oh! Elves! Wow, I didn't expect that. <P>PEOPLE WHO READ THE BOOK: Neither did I... <P>GIMLI: Arr! I'm funny because I'm short. <P>LEGOLAS: I'm funny because I make fun of how short you are!<BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ <BR>GOLLUM: (mumble, mumble)...Kill...(mumble)...death to hobbits...(mumble mumble)...feed them to HER...(mumble, mumble)...pain, suffering...(mumble)...make them cry...(mumble)...kill hobbitses...(mumble) ...she will destroy hobbitses... <P>PEOPLE WHO HAVEN'T READ THE BOOK: (loudly) "SHE"? Did he say "she", and "her"? Who's "SHE"? <P>PEOPLE WHO HAVE READ THE BOOK: SHUT UP!<BR>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~<BR>Ok these are parodies, sorry!<BR>I also like my signature, but that's another parody. *sigh* oh well......<BR> <P>[ March 07, 2003: Message edited by: dunadan_aragorn ]<P> Galadriel: Weeeeeellcccooommmeee tooooo Looooorriiiiieeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnnnn <BR> Celeborn: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ..........<p>[ March 08, 2003: Message edited by: dunadan_aragorn ]

[Meela]

they were brilliant!!

[Finnguala]

ROFL, aww, can I use some of those for my cartoons?? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE??

[Airehiriel]

Treebeard: <BR>That doesn't make sense to me, but then you are very small.<P>I always like going south. Some how it feels like going down hill.