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Old 03-17-2017, 11:46 AM   #1
Estelyn Telcontar
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Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!
Sting "And then the murders began..."

Here's a little game - add "And then the murders began" after the first sentence in a book. I'll start with this example:
"When Mr. Bilbo Baggins of Bag End announced that he would shortly be celebrating his eleventy-first birthday with a party of special magnificence, there was much talk and excitement in Hobbiton." And then the murders began.
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'Mercy!' cried Gandalf. 'If the giving of information is to be the cure of your inquisitiveness, I shall spend all the rest of my days in answering you. What more do you want to know?' 'The whole history of Middle-earth...'
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Old 03-17-2017, 12:08 PM   #2
Inziladun
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Inziladun is a guest of Galadriel in Lothlórien.Inziladun is a guest of Galadriel in Lothlórien.Inziladun is a guest of Galadriel in Lothlórien.Inziladun is a guest of Galadriel in Lothlórien.Inziladun is a guest of Galadriel in Lothlórien.
Nice!

In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. And then the murders began.
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Old 03-17-2017, 01:06 PM   #3
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Picking up the nearest book...

"This is where the dragons went. And then the murders began." - Guards! Guards! by Terry Pratchett

Hmm.
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Old 03-17-2017, 03:03 PM   #4
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White-Hand

Off the top of my bedside table:

"Ash fell from the sky. And then the murders began." - Mistborn

"A window burst open high above the market. And then the murders began." - Perdido Street Station

"The sea had broken him. And then the murders began." - The Sky-Slayer
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Old 03-17-2017, 03:51 PM   #5
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It was a bright cold day in April and the clocks were striking thirteen. And then the murders began. - Orwell

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. And then the murders began. - Dickens
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Old 03-17-2017, 04:20 PM   #6
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More accurate than I initially predicted.

"We should start back," Gared urged as the woods began to grow dark around them. And then the murders began. (ASOIAF, Game of Thrones)

Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much. And then the murders began. (HP - Philosopher's Stone)
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Old 03-18-2017, 06:38 AM   #7
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I can't resist

"There was once a velveteen rabbit, and in the beginning he was really splendid. And then the murders began..." Lord of the Flies (or not)

"Where's Papa going with that axe?" said Fern to her mother as they were setting the table for breakfast. And then the murders began..." Charlotte's Web

"Chug, chug, chug. And then the murders began..." The Little Engine That Could
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Old 03-18-2017, 12:27 PM   #8
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If you want a loose interpretation of "book"...

Frodo woke and found himself lying in bed. And then the murders began. (FotR book 2)


Aragorn sped on up the hill. And then the murders began. (TTT book 1)


"Well, Master, we're in a fix and no mistake," said Sam Gamgee. And then the murders began. (TTT book 2)


Pippin looked out from under the shelter of Gandalf's cloak. And then the murders began. (RotK book 1)


Sam roused himself painfully from the ground. And then the murders began. (RotK book 2)
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Old 03-20-2017, 09:54 AM   #9
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This is fun!

"Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendía was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice. And then the murders began." - 100 Years of Solitude

"Someone must have slandered Josef K., for one morning, without having done anything truly wrong, he was arrested. And then the murders began." - Kafka, The Trial

"Stately, plump Buck Mulligan came from the stairhead, bearing a bowl of lather on which a mirror and a razor lay crossed. And then the murders began." - Ulysses

"The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel. And then the murders began." - Neuromancer

(In case you find yourself away from your books, as tends to happen to Downers in need of a quote, here's a handy collection of first lines.)
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Old 03-20-2017, 10:08 AM   #10
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"Sherlock Holmes took his bottle from the corner of the mantelpiece, and his hypodermic syringe from its neat morocco case. And then the murders began." A.C. Doyle The Sign of Four

"Mr. Jones, of the Manor Farm, had locked the hen-houses for the night, but was too drunk to remember to shut the popholes. And then the murders began." Orwell Animal Farm
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Old 03-20-2017, 01:07 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Inziladun View Post
"Sherlock Holmes took his bottle from the corner of the mantelpiece, and his hypodermic syringe from its neat morocco case. And then the murders began." A.C. Doyle The Sign of Four
That's a great one! It's so creepy, making it sound like the murders were caused by a certain aforementioned syringe. Fantastic!
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Old 05-13-2020, 07:42 AM   #12
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Silmaril Quite true

Alas for the Book nearest to me right now...

"In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth." And then the murders began.


Edit: Adding a couple more popular creation stories because I was curious.

"There was Eru, the One, who in Arda is called Ilúvatar; and he made first the Ainur, the Holy Ones, that were the offspring of his thought, and they were with him before aught else was made." And then the murders began.

"This is a story about something that happened long ago when your grandfather was a child." And then the murders began.

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Old 05-13-2020, 07:59 AM   #13
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I have recently seen a more fantasy-oriented variant on this that instead adds "And then the dragons arrived", which works spectacularly well for The Hobbit, and pretty darn well for the rest of Tolkien:

Once upon a time there was a little dog, and his name was Rover. He was very small, and very young, and then the dragons arrived.

Ćgidius de Hammo was a man who lived in the midmost parts of the Island of Britain, and then the dragons arrived.

There was once a little man called Niggle, who had a long journey to make; and then the dragons arrived.

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Old 05-13-2020, 10:32 AM   #14
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Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. And then the murders began.
(Anna Karenina, by Leo Tolstoy)

However:

- Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. And then the dragons arrived -

Is a better hook for a story starter.
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Old 05-13-2020, 11:16 AM   #15
THE Ka
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Oddwen View Post

"Well, Master, we're in a fix and no mistake," said Sam Gamgee. And then the murders began. (TTT book 2)


Sam roused himself painfully from the ground. And then the murders began. (RotK book 2)
I enjoy that Sam has turned into a murderhobo in these...

----

"What did you do with the goblin and the Warg?" asked Bilbo suddenly. "Come and see!" said Beorn. And then the murders began.
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Old 05-14-2020, 01:39 AM   #16
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A king there was in days of old:
ere Men yet walked upon the mould
his power was reared in cavern's shade,
his hand was over glen and glade,
and then the dragons came.
-The Lay of Leithian

Lo! the golden dragon / of the God of Hell,
the gloom of the woods / of the world now gone,
the woes of Men, / and the weeping of Elves
fading faintly / down forest pathways,
is now to tell / and the murders begin.
- The Lay of the Children of Hurin

(Ouch.)

"On a March day in 1891 the steamer Roslin Castle left dock to sail from England to the Cape. Standing on the stern deck, waving to the family she would not see again for a long time, was a slim good-looking girl of twenty-one. Mabel Suffield was going to South Africa to marry Arthur Tolkien, and then the dragons arrived." - J.R.R. Tolkien: A Biography

"Towards the end of his life, J.R.R. Tolkien was deprived for a few weeks of the use of his right arm, and then the murders began." - Letters of J.R.R. Tolkien.

(This sounds legit.)

hS
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Old 05-14-2020, 05:23 AM   #17
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About 13,5 Billion years ago, matter, energy, time and space came into being in what is known as the Big Bang. And then the murders began. (Yuval Noah Harari: Sapiens)

In the beginning human beings created a God who was the First Cause of all things and Ruler of heaven and earth. And then the murders began. (Karen Armstrong: A History of God)

In many rituals the sacrifical act assumes two opposing aspects, appearing at times as sacred obligation to be neglected at great peril, at other times as a sort of criminal activity entailing perils of equal gravity. And then the murders began. (René Girard: Violence and the Sacred)
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Old 05-14-2020, 06:45 AM   #18
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"On turning over in my mind the contents of your last letters, I have put myself into great agony, not knowing how to interpret them, whether to my disadvantage, as you show in some places, or to my advantage, as I understand them in some others, beseeching you earnestly to let me know expressly your whole mind as to the love between us two." And then the murders began. (The Love Letters of Henry VIII to Anne Boleyn)
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Old 06-02-2020, 02:14 AM   #19
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This one just passed across the quote ticker on the Downs, and it seemed inevitable:

‘No thank ’ee,’ said Ted, ‘I won’t. I heard tell of them when I was a youngster, but there’s no call to believe in them now. There’s only one Dragon in Bywater, and that’s Green,’ he said, getting a general laugh, and then the dragons arrived.

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