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Old 06-01-2019, 04:29 PM   #1
Urwen
Ghost Prince of Cardolan
 
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Meneltarma
Posts: 2,845
Urwen has just left Hobbiton.
The True Hero of Forgotten Ages (Don't read this if you value your brain cells)

I think we all know who the true hero of Beleriand is.

It's the WRENCH.

You know it in your hearts that no one else can compare to this divine object. Why, the Valar themselves held the WRENCH in higher regard than Silmarils themselves, and the only reason the book wasn't named the WRENCHRILLION was because the Valar were too embarrassed to admit to the real, actual truth.

The Valar were wrong, and the deeds of the mighty WRENCH will remain in song until the end of time.

What else can there be said? Oh, yeah, some guy named Ispitonurgrave disliked the idea that the WRENCH had its own religion built around it, for he believed people were more important than objects. How silly is that? He, with his cousin, Igetboredeasily, went and created a different religion centered around spuds. Spuds! Can you imagine that? They're creepy. More creepy than that guy with an evil shark could ever hope to be. Iprobablysuck, they called the shark guy, for he was even weaker than the weakest guy in the world.
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Tuor: Yeah, it was me who broke his arm. With a wrench. Specifically, this wrench.

I am suffering from Maeglinomaniacal Maeglinophilia.

Last edited by Urwen; 06-01-2019 at 04:37 PM.
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