No digestive track? Or just REALLY good food?

[Lord Halsar]

Why is it that, in LotR, Silmarillion, and Tolkien's other works, that noone has to ever go to the John? Do the people of ME/Valinor/Numenor/ etc. not have large intestines, or is the food so pure that they have no need to?
There are no outhouses in Rivendell. No Port-o-Potties in Mordor. Why?
I want everyone's honest opinion.

[The 1,000 Reader]

I believe that Sam stumbled upon a "waste" hole in the Two Towers.

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Just because we're not told about such things does not mean that they don't exist. Or do you give information like that about yourself when you write your blog?! (The last sentence does not apply if your nick is 'burrahobbit'...)

[The Sixth Wizard]

Coincidentally, the term is digestive tract I do believe.

[Beanamir of Gondor]

It is "tract." Nice catch.

It's not just Middlearth, either. I mean, did you read about Sydney Carton asking to use the gaol bathroom before they cart him off to the guillotine? He was there for two days! And in her ten years at Lowood, did we ever read about Jane Eyre running off to the privy?
In general, authors avoid writing about bathroom functions unless it's an essential part of the story: as in, writing about someone with Crohn's disease, or making a point about the horrible food at someone's house. It saves time and awkwardness.

P.S. (I know the thread is a joke. Viva la digestion-less hobbits! )

[The Might]

This makes me however woner if a city like Minas Tirith really was as nice as it sounds. If there was no good canalization system, it could well be that MT was as dirty and filthy as any European Medieval town...
Anyway, back to the subject, I guess there was little point in really developing on this....though it is mentioned that Bilbo had bathrooms:

No going upstairs for the hobbit: bedrooms, bathrooms, cellars, pantries (lots of these), wardrobes (he had whole rooms devoted to clothes), kitchens, dining-rooms, all were on the same floor, and indeed on the same passage. ~ The Hobbit

[Legate of Amon Lanc]

Not only Bilbo, if it has to be especially me to remind of the famous scene in Crickhollow...

[the phantom]

Oh, come on. Tolkien definitely made mention of outhouses and the like. Why do you think Bilbo made sure there was a huge tree inside the main party tent? How did Gollum track Sam and Frodo so easily? Why was the water below Faramir's hideout called the "Forbidden Pool"?

Think about it.

On one occasion in particular JRRT tactfully described a, uh, moment of relief.

FOTR, Lothlorien-

For a moment Frodo stood near the brink (of Nimrodel) and let the water flow over his tired feet... he felt that the stain of travel and all weariness was washed from his limbs.

Why would Frodo stop in a stream, I ask you? It's not difficult to figure out. Tolkien says he found relief from "ALL weariness", which would include the weariness of holding it. And Tolkien also mentioned Frodo's "limbs". I don't think he meant just arms and legs.

Also, do you recall when Frodo and Sam leave the road in Mordor to head straight at Mt Doom, and Sam says to Frodo, "Why not lighten the load a bit?" What do you think he was speaking of?

Oh, sure, they toss aside their orc gear and cooking equipment, but don't you think Tolkien was implying that the two hobbits dropped more than equipment into the pit?

And what about the Ring and the story itself as a whole? Surely you realize that LOTR is symbolic of an individual desperate to use the restroom after having consumed an unsettling meal. The food causing the intestinal disturbance is represented by "evil". The result of "evil" is The Ring, or diarrhea. Mount Doom, of course, represents a toilet, large and powerful enough to handle having even the most severe "evil" dumped into it. Frodo's struggle to contain the power of The Ring is agonizingly easy to understand for anyone who has ever had tortured bowels and is unable to locate a restroom.

What a shame it is that Frodo controls it for miles upon miles and actually makes it all the way to the stall, you might say, and then while standing upon the very rim of the bowl, loses control, and is forever stained.