Middle Earth Idol

[Glirdan]

Lote
I'm going to have to disagree with...Cowell over there. You took a really hard song and gave it your all. You've got the showmanship and got great talent. I do agree with him on the fact that it seemed like you didn't reherse it at all. But, if you promise me that you'll do better in the next round, it will be a definite yes.

[The 1,000 Reader]

(Movie Legolas is shoved onto stage)

Legolas: Do I have to?

Voice: Well, the downers could tie you to a rock while the book Legolas shot you.

Legolas: (Sighs)

(White Town's "Your Woman" starts to play, music only)

****************************************

"Just tell me what you've got to say to me
I've been waiting for so long to hear the truth
It comes as no surprise at all you see
So end the lies and tell me that we're through

Now I know your heart, I know your mind
You don't even know you're bein' unkind
So much for all your highbrow Dwarvist ways
Just use me up and then you walk away
Boy, you can't play me that way

Well I guess what you say is true
I could never be the right kind of elf for you

I could never be your woman
I could never be your woman
I could never be your woman
I could never be your woman

When I saw Galadriel yesterday
She said she never liked you from the start
Well me, I wish that I could claim the same
But you always knew you held my heart

And you're such a charming, handsome dwarf
Now I think I finally understand
Is it in your genes, I don't know
But I'll soon find out, that's for sure
Why did you play me this way

Well I guess what you say is true
I could never be the right kind of elf for you

I could never be your woman
I could never be your woman
I could never be your woman
I could never be your woman

Well I guess what they say is true
I could never spend my life with a dwarf like you

I could never be your woman
I could never be your woman
I could never be your woman
I could never be your woman"

***************************************

Voice: He was singing to Gimli by the way.


In case you hate it, I'll be leaving the country.

[wilwarin538]

The 1,000 Reader

Ummm....uh.....that was.....interesting...a little scary.....but still interesting. Uh, I suppose, I will.......uh....give you a yes.

*Leaves the room a little freaked out by the singing Legolas*

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Rargh! Roar! Moo! Meow! You [bleep]ing judges! Are you [bleep]ing tone-deaf?! You [bleep]ing [bleep]s couldn't tell a [bleep]ing good perormance from a [bleep]ing massacre! [Bleep] you all! [Bleep]!

.

.

.

.


.

(Again, peace. )

[Glirdan]

1,000....Uhh...I mean...Movie Legolas
Dude, I'm going to be blunt....THAT SUCKED!!! It's a MAJOR no from me.

[Sleepy Ranger]

Movie Legolas

Collect your tickets out of the country from Vala, its a no.

[Valesse]

*Vala squints at the camera for a few awkward moments with the sounds of William ranting in the background*

Sleepy and Glirdy were in rare form for Movie-Legolas' preformance... shooting down the perfumed heart-throb before the lovely Wilwa Abdul could compose herself after what was an emotional preformance. If its any consulation, Movie-Legolas, I would have voted yes for you-- which should mean something because I'm used to listening to other preformers' music and all...

*Vala finishes waggling brows at Wilwa*

[Sleepy Ranger]

Sleepy looks at Vala and shakes his head. "Hey you DJ, go back to ruining parties and let me do my job!" He says shooting her an angry glare.

[Valesse]

... Right *squints some more.*

Leaving Edoras with 19 hopefuls (or 18 hopefuls and one William) the crew made way to Moria where they anticipated finding the last 5 contestants needed to move onto the next round. Will the outlook be as dim as the lighting? Or as stunning as the echo?

So far those advancing to the Hall of Fire in Rivendell include:

Alc- I mean "Steve": A mysterious personality who appears to have offended the guards but not the judges! Getting three yes' in one go. Anguriel showed the judges exactly what he was made of, and each one of them sang back to him their praise after a stunning and brilliantly preformed piece.

Then there was Elu Ancalime, who just squeezed by the judges earning three unclear yes'. Folwen, however, impressed the judges as few others before her could with three yes' under her belt and a very illustrious "best audition" from the one and only Sleepy Cowell.

Even after all that shaking and jittering, Hookbill managed to win over Sleepy and Glirdy to earn his spot in the Hall of Fire. Wilwa warned that he's going to have to work on his confidence before he can even hope to advance further.

After some trials from Sleepy, JennyHallu came out a winner, proving to both him and Glirdy her prowless, even when Wilwa saw it from the start. However, Kath proved without question her formitable ablities as a preformer. Legolas in Spandex failled to please Cowell, but that could mean many things... Usually obscure. With two yes' from Glirdy and Wilwa this oddly-clad artist was on her way to Rivendell.

When she stepped on stage Lhunardawen was already ready to wow the judges. Gracefully earning three yes' and celebrating her fortune quietly outside where the other hopefuls watched in awe.

littlemanpoet proved that there certainly is more talent than in just toddlers, boldly impressing his stylings where few other contestants could venture. Almost as the last moments passed by in Edoras, Lote22 managed to snag her appointment to the Hall of Fire.

Mithalwen set the standard for the other following preformers with her stunning "Flowers in the Window". I'm sure she won't have to work very hard to win some flowers from her fans in the rounds to come. Morai may have moved Wilwa and Sleepy, but Glirdy -shockingly- disagreed with both of his comrades on this appointment to the Hall of Fire.

Through orcs and high water Nilp AKA "William" will be carried off to Rivendell. His breathtakingly new style of music has touched the judges in a new and beautiful way. It is beautiful. It is poetic. It is love between a music coinsure. William is going to be a hard personality to beat once inside the Hall of Fire.

Nogrod Won Wilwa and Glirdy's approval but failled to impress Sleepy because of a lacking (mysterious) X-factor. None-the-less this unique artist is moving on.

Oromin maybe small, but she knows how to sing. It took a while for the judges to get their voices back, but not a single one of them had something negative to say about this well versed halfling.

Standing out with his talent and his tailoring Saucey stirred up the show with some real down home stylings. Though his garments didn't win over all of the judges, his voice sure did.

There was something about THE Ka that certainly grabbed Sleepy's attention

Originally Posted by Sleepy

Well uh, yes, uh, ahem. I, uh... uh... ahem...

However it went without saying that she had made a place for herself in Rivendell.

TORE rocked the judges harder than the Iron Hills, taking their breath away, the stage by storm, and leaving with three votes in his favor.

[Glirdan]

And the arguments start...Well, this is going to be a fun year... If anybody needs me, I'll be in the back trying to get my hearing back after Sleepy's and 1,000..I mean Legolas's performance. I really seriously think I've gone tone deaf...

[wilwarin538]

Sleepy looks at Vala and shakes his head. "Hey you DJ, go back to ruining parties and let me do my job!" He says shooting her an angry glare.

And the arguments start

Can't we all just get along? *smiles sweetly*

[Glirdan]

Can't we all just get along? *smiles sweetly*

But then there's not point in the show!! Besides....wait a minute....why are you being so nice? Are you...drunk? That's it!! Who's spiked her cola!?!?

[Elu Ancalime]

"So does that mean I can freestyle again?
________
FORD 427 SIDE OILER

[The 1,000 Reader]

Originally Posted by Glirdan

And the arguments start...Well, this is going to be a fun year... If anybody needs me, I'll be in the back trying to get my hearing back after Sleepy's and 1,000..I mean Legolas's performance. I really seriously think I've gone tone deaf...

Don't worry, I didn't even want to compete. I just wanted to diss the movie Legolas and scare people.

Appearantly, it worked.

(I'm so evil.)

[Glirdan]

Ka
You are to early for the next round. We are still missing 5 more contestants. We'll be starting once we find those final five.

[THE Ka]

Oh I knew it!

Gorey's Prattle Sticks! Well, I am afraid I cannot post again until this thurday or friday, and being in a usual plan-ahead thinking scheme, I went ahead out of that sake. Well, I will save the post for later I guess, and remove it quickly until later time.

Thank you for the notification though.


I be off for now, see you all until later this week.

Sincerely,

Ka

[Boromir88]

So, I'm Boromir, and I'll be singing "Truly, madly, deeply" by Savage Garden...(so rock-I think, in the voice of Faramir).

This song was first sung by Faramir after meeting Eowyn in the Houses of Healing, so here it is...Truly Madly Deeply.

I'll be your dream
I'll be your wish
I'll be your fantasy.
I'll be your hope
I'll be your love
Be everything that you need.
I love you more with every breath
Truly madly deeply do..
I will be strong I will be faithful
'Cos I'm counting on a new beginning.
A reason for living.
A deeper meaning.

I wanna stand with you on Mindolluin
I wanna bathe with you in the Anduin
I wanna lay like this forever
Until the sky falls down on me

And when Varda is shining brightly
In the velvet sky,
I'll make a wish
Send it to Iluvatar
Then make you want to cry..
The tears of joy
For all the pleasure and the certainty.
That we're surrounded
By the comfort and protection of..
The highest power.
In lonely hours.
The tears devour you..

I wanna to stand with you on Mindolluin,
I wanna to bathe with you in the Anduin.
I wanna to lay like this forever
Until the sky falls down on me

[Sleepy Ranger]

Boromir88

That was a hard song to sing but you carried that out rather well. However, it sounded a lot like the original, at this point that really isn't something to fret about but in the later stages of the contest I'd expect a bit more originality in your voice, from the way you sang it seems that this is your comfort zone, when I see you do more I think I'll be impressed. Oh and yes, its a yes.

[Diamond18]

Hi, I'm Diamond, and today I would like to sing for you a variation on the song "Unwell" by Matchbox Twenty. I will be assuming the characters of Gollum/Smeagol. Since I'm female, I'll be putting a bit of a twist on the singing style, think more Emiliana Torrini than either Rob Thomas or Andy Serkis.

[Gollum]

All day staring at the precious
Making food of orcses in our cave
All night hearing voices telling us
That we should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for fishing

[Smeagol]

Hold on
Feeling like I'm headed for a breakdown
And I don’t know why

[Both]

[G:]But We’re not crazy, we're just a little unwell
We know right now you can’t tell
[S:]But stay awhile and maybe then you’ll see
A different side of me
[G:]We’re not crazy, we're just a little impaired
We know right now you don’t care
[S:]But soon enough you’re gonna think of me
And how I used to be...me

[Gollum]

We’re talking to ourself in secret
Dodging glances from the hobbits
And we know, we know the nasty fat one's been talking about us
We can hear him whisper

[Smeagol]

And it makes me think there must be something wrong with me
Out of all the hours thinking
Somehow I’ve lost my mind

[Both]

[G:]But We’re not crazy, we're just a little unwell
We know right now you can’t tell
[S:]But stay awhile and maybe then you’ll see
A different side of me
[G:]We’re not crazy, we're just a little impaired
We know right now you don’t care
[S:]But soon enough you’re gonna think of me
And how I used to be

[Gollum]

Yes we wants the Precious back
Pretty soon we’ll get it back
Yeah, we'll take Precious awaaaaaaaaaay

[Both]

[G:]But We’re not crazy, we're just a little unwell
We know right now you can’t tell
[S:]But stay awhile and maybe then you’ll see
A different side of me
[G:]We’re not crazy, we're just a little impaired
We know right now you don’t care
[S:]But soon enough you’re gonna think of me
And how I used to be

[Smeagol]

Yeah, how I used to be
How I used to be
Well, I’m just a little unwell
How I used to be
How I used to be
I’m just a little unwell

[Gurthang]

Good Evening (or Afternoon or Morning or Night). I'm Gurthang, from the long forgotten land of Nargothrond, and I'm here to try to be Middle Earth's Idol, if it's not too late. I'll be singing "I am a Rock" by Simon and Garfunkel (fourth verse altered) in the (suprisingly on-key) voice of the slightly demented Denethor.

A winter's day-
in a deep and dark December
I am alone-
Gazing from my window to the streets below
On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow.

I am a rock, I am an island.

I've built walls,
A fortress deep and mighty
That none may penetrate
I have no need of friendship
friendship causes pain
It's laughter and loving I disdain

I am a rock, I am an island

Don't talk of love
but I've heard the word before
It's sleeping in my memory
I won't disturb the slumber of the feelings that have died
If I never loved I never would have cried

I am a rock, I am an island

I have my palantir
and my will to protect me
I am shielded by animosity
Hiding in my room, safe within this tomb,
I touch no one and no one touches me.

I am a rock, I am an island

And a rock feels no pain, and an island never cries.

[wilwarin538]

Wow, good day.

Boro88
That's so sweet, very touching, made my eyes water. I think you did an amazing job with that! Welcome to the next round.


Diamond18
Very interesting, very creative. You did a great job with that. I say yes.


Gurthang
That was very powerful and strong sounding. I think you showed great emotion with that, one of the best so far I think. I say yes.

[Sleepy Ranger]

Diamond18

That was an okay performance, it started off boring, everything in the middle was good and then you ended boring. It was like a sandwhich made with stale bread. Everything in between is tasty but you want to throw away the rest! I'm not convinced, its a no.

Gurthang

I'm impressed, that was an interesting song choice and you sang it well. I think it was a bit rough in some places but you did it well. I enjoyed it, its a yes. You're through to the next round.

[Glirdan]

Well, it seems that I only have to vote on one because the other two have already made it and besides, I think I'd say yes anyway.

Diamond18
That was a wicked performance girl! You can sing! But, I do agree with Cowell that you have to work on all the parts of the song. So, I'm going to say yes and I want to see improvement in the next round.

*Has air guitar readily slung over shoulder* Hello, I'm Scaramouche and will be singing along to Queen's "Spread Your Wings" in a solemn, somewhat ballad-ish Gandolf voice.
-------
Frodo was low,
Just watching his hole,
Day after day, again.
Knew it was time,
He'd made up his mind,
To leave the cursed ring behind.
But the ring said to him,
"Hobbit, you'd better begin
To get those crazy notions right out of your head.
Frodo who do you think that you are?
You should be taking me
To Mordor, it's not very far."

Ditch your ring and run away,
Run away, far away
Ditch your stupid ring and run away,
Run away, far away.
Pull yourself together,
'Cos the ring don't make you better,
That's 'cos you're not a free hobbit.

He used to spend his evenings alone in his peaceful hole,
Keeping his thoughts to himself,
He was happy there.
Now wishing he was miles and miles away,
The ring kept following,
Wouldn't give him his way.

*Scaramouche starts playing mean air guitar solo*

Since he was short,
To the ring he'd resort.
Now it was time,
He'd made up his mind
"This could be my last chance."
The ring threatened him "Now listen Hobbit,
You're always dreaming,
You haven't prepared, you can't get far from me,
Frodo Baggins, can't you see it by now?
I'll haunt you forever, I'll know where you are."

So hobbit,

Ditch your ring and run away,
Run away, far away
Ditch your stupid ring and run away,
Run away, far away.
Pull yourself together,
'Cos the ring don't make you better,
That's 'cos you're not a free hobbit.
-------
Dunno if I entered it in time, but you gotta admit a voice so close to Freddie Mercury's is too good to pass up, right? ...right?

[Glirdan]

Scarmouche
What in Eru's name was that!? All I heard was....actually, I didn't hear anything! Dude! Why would you take on that kind of song for an audition? The vocals were really off. I'm going to have to say no dude.

[Sleepy Ranger]

Scarmouche

That was wrong on so many levels that I don't even know where to begin! I don't mean to sound rude but that performance was terrible, it felt as if you were sent here to assasinate us before the next round. Spread your wings and fly out of here, its a no.

And what is it with everyone trying to sing such difficult songs at this stage? Sleepy accidently spills his glass of water onto Wilwa.

[wilwarin538]

Sleepy accidently spills his glass of water onto Wilwa.

*gives Sleepy evil eye* This was a brand new skirt, and now it's ruined, thanks a lot Sleepy!
*grabs water and pours(sp?) it on Sleepy, on purpose*


anyway...

Scaramouche
Ah, sorry hun but that was kinda bad. I'm afraid I'm going to have to agree with the boyd and say no.

*gives Sleepy another evil eye*

[Sleepy Ranger]

"You call that a 'pour water on somebody'? I mean it was like 'so what'?"

Cowell shakes his head, crosses his arms and sighs at Wilwa.

"That was so terribly wrong and appalling. I'm sorry, dear, its a no from me."

In a wild swing of his arms to show his bordem from the perfomance he accidently knocks Glirdy's glass onto Wilwa.

[Glirdan]

Cowell! Wilwa! Will you stop pouring water all over each other and just go out all ready!? It's getting rather annoying! Vala! Can you get me a glass of water asa well as tell these two children to smarten up!?

[The 1,000 Reader]

Sorry. You have no authority in chaos. It's in your contract.

Fight! Fight! Fight!

(P.S. The stage crew (orcs) stole all the liquids from water to oil and drank/sold them, so unless you intervene yourself this fight will go on.)

(P.P.S Or you could get Vala to fight... )

[Valesse]

Originally Posted by The 1,000 Reader

(P.P.S Or you could get Vala to fight... )

I'm passive in nature and do not fight. However, I am a DJ, and if you think poetically enough that means that I'm offically somewhat talented in the art of harmony making... In a way. It also means that Sleepy should withhold any comments on my previous statement.

...

After removing all of the drinking water from the audition room the last two contestants were about to be decided... or about to audition... or blowing their noses. The semi-finals were about to begin, and those being shipped (or more politely "boarded") off to Rivendell were racking their minds to come up with their next preformance.

[Elu Ancalime]

If this show has a Reunion episode, it's going to be more epic than all of the episodes of "Flavor of Love" combined.
________
Vaporizer Review

[Morai]

"That was so terribly wrong and appalling. I'm sorry, dear, its a no from me."

Now that's the Sleepy--I mean Cowell--ah, whatever. I'll be in the vehicle-a-jig, prepping for my next act. (looks down) Hey, who jacked my yellow boots?

[Caranlondien]

Enter Movie-Elrond

Movie-Elrond: Hello, Mr Anderson... I mean, Mr... Whatever your names are... My name is Movie-Elrond, and I'll be performing a song I wrote for my daughter, Movie-Arwen. It's called "She's Come Undone", by the Guess Who. Although I like the Zombies version, personally. Anyway, here goes...

Begins singing, in, of course, Hugo Weaving's voice

She's come undone
We didn't know what she was headed for
And when we found what she was headed for
It was too late

She's come undone
She has a line-count that is far too high
I think that there's a scene in which she flies
It is too late!

It's too late
She's gone too far
She saw "her son"
She's come undone
What ever happend to that Glorfindel guy?
And those water-horses were totally mine.
That was so lame!

She's come undone
We didn't know what she was headed for
And when we found what she was headed for
Nana, it was too late!

Too many scenes, and not enough off-screen time,
Too much drama, about sailing to the Undying Lands,
Too many powers, I mean since when can she do magic?
Too many lines; Did she even talk in the book?

It's too late
She's gone too far
She's replaced the sun.
She's come undone!

[Sleepy Ranger]

Caranlondien (Movie-Elrond)

I am stunned... that performance was quite good. You were a bit shaky in the start and your voice was high-pitched but I'd say towards the middle you got better and went through till the end but the start was just horrible. I can see you've got no signs of nervousness but frankly, it was good but I don't think it was good enough. I'm sorry its a no.

[wilwarin538]

Caranlondien
I think that was a good and creative performance. You did a great job with that, and I think you could do fairly well in this compitition. I say yes.

[Glirdan]

Caranlondien (Movie-Elrond)

Firstly, I'd like to say this: Cowell, you are an oxymoron. Next, Elrond, you rocked that performance! It's a major yes from me!

[Celuien]

Hello. I'm Panakeia, and I'm going to sing a little Schubert for you. This is his most famous song, "Der Erlkönig." The words are from a poem about the King of the Elves as known (or not) in Harad.

Wer reitet so spät durch Nacht und Wind?
Es ist der Vater mit seinem Kind;
Er hat den Knaben wohl in dem Arm,
Er faßt ihn sicher, er hält ihn warm.
(Who rides so late, through night and wind?
It is the father, with his child;
He has the young lad clasped in his arms,
He holds him securely, he holds him warm)

"Mein Sohn, was birgst du so bang dein Gesicht?"
"Siehst, Vater, du den Erlkönig nicht?
Den Erlkönig mit Kron und Schweif?"
"Mein Sohn, es ist ein Nebelstreif."'
("My son, why do you hide your face?"
"Father, don't you see the Elf King?
The Elf King, with his crown and cape tail?"
"My son, it's just a strip of fog.")

"Du liebes Kind, komm, geh mit mir!
Gar schöne Spiele spiel' ich mit dir;
Manch' bunte Blumen sind an dem Strand,
Meine Mutter hat manch gülden Gewand."
("You lovely child, come with me!
So many lovely games I will play with you.
Many colorful flowers are by the shore,
My mother has many golden robes.")

"Mein Vater, mein Vater, und hörest du nicht,
Was Erlenkönig mir leise verspricht?"
"Sei ruhig, bleibe ruhig, mein Kind;
In dürren Blättern säuselt der Wind."
("My father, my father, can't you hear,
The promises the Elf King is whispering to me?"
"Be quiet, stay quiet, my child;
It's just the dry leaves rustling in the wind.")

"Willst, feiner Knabe, du mit mir gehn?
Meine Töchter sollen dich warten schön;
Meine Töchter führen den nächtlichen Reihn,
Und wiegen und tanzen und singen dich ein."
("Fine lad, will you come with me?
My daughters will tend to you;
My daughters will put you to bed every night,
And cuddle and sing and dance you to sleep.")

"Mein Vater, mein Vater, und siehst du nicht dort
Erlkönigs Töchter am düstern Ort?"
"Mein Sohn, mein Sohn, ich seh es genau:
Es scheinen die alten Weiden so grau."
("My father, My father, can't you see over there?
The Elf King's daughters at that dreary place?"
"My son, my son, I see it clearly,
It's just the old willows so grey.")

"Ich liebe dich, mich reizt deine schöne Gestalt;
Und bist du nicht willig, so brauch ich Gewalt."
"Mein Vater, mein Vater, jetzt faßt er mich an!
Erlkönig hat mir ein Leids getan!"
("I love you, your beautiful figure excites me;
And if you're not willing, then I will use force."
"My father, my father, he's grabbing me!
The Elf King has done something terrible to me!")

*At this point, the Barrow-Downs Society of Elf-Friends storms the stage with Anguirel at their head, brandishing a frozen tuna.*

"Have at thee, scoundrel! How dare you spread such lies about the Elves?"

"But it's just a song."

*Anguirel stares threateningly while tapping the fish against his hand. Panakeia whimpers and turns to the judges.*

Umm. In light of the situation, I'd like to withdraw my entry. Instead, I'll sing "Bridge Over Troubled Water." It's a tune by Paul Simon, and I think Sam might have liked to sing it to Frodo.

When you’re weary, feeling small,
When tears are in your eyes, I will dry them all;
I’m on your side. When times get rough
And friends just can’t be found,
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.

When you’re down and out,
When you’re near defeat,
When evening falls so hard
I will comfort you.
I’ll take your part.
Oh, when darkness comes
And pain is all around,
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.

Sail along, silver ship,
Sail on by.
Your time has come to shine.
All your dreams are on their way.
See how they shine
Oh, if you need a friend
I’m sailing right behind.

Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind.

(EDIT: I hope you don't mind making an appearance, Ang. It seemed appropriate, given our history in a certain other thread. But just give me the word, and I'll take out the reference to you.)

[Anguirel]

No, it's fine...though I was enjoying the Schubert...

[Sleepy Ranger]

Celuien

That performance had no originality! It was plain and boring, a third rate copy. To be honest it was little more than a lame karaoke. If you're not going to take any risks or bring anything new to the table then I doubt you're headed anywhere. You've neither impressed nor convinced me, its a no. Sorry dear.