Melian's Heir and Other Mothers of Middle-Earth

[Belin]

We've had a thread about motherlessness in Middle-Earth, and a more current one about the role of women in LotR, and both of them have spurred me to think about mother-figures, both literal and symbolic, and about Galadriel (whom I've named "Melian's Heir" in the title because Melian was her teacher, and she has taken Melian's role as the maker of lembas) in particular.

Her protection of both Lorien and the Fellowship, her prophetic abilities, her unreachable wisdom, her combination of sternness and gentleness, and of course the handing out of lembas give her the aura of a motherly figure. In fact, when I read the Carpenter biography, I remember Tolkien's mother reminding me of Galadriel (although since I don't remember why I made that association and I don't have the thing with me, I don't suppose that connection will be a very useful one, unless somebody else thought so too). Child also pointed out that Tolkien associated her with the Virgin Mary, another powerful, archetypal mother-figure. So my first question is, what does everyone else think of her in this role? What light does this cast on her character? Where can we go with this?

My second question is, in fact, the second part of my title. What about the other mothers and mother figures of ME? What about Melian? Varda? Gilraen? What do they add to the story? How are we to see them? How much power do they really have?

This is the first time I've started a topic, and I can't wait to see where it will go.

--Belin "I can't believe I'm finally a Wight" Ibaimendi

[lathspell]

Great topic!
I'm sorry to say that I've no time to answer them now, for it would take some time. But I'll certainly come back to make an answer.

greetings,
lathspell

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Wonderful, Belin - you started this topic!! Alas for me that it should be one day before I leave on a 10-day vacation, with no certainty of internet access... I will try to post what occurs to me today and hope for an opportunity to continue.

One quick example for a start: The characteristics of a mother are inherited by her childran - I know, that's not an achievement, but it is an important factor in the life of Bilbo Baggins! Had he not been the son of the fabulous Belladonna Took, would he have been prepared for an adventure? Apparently Gandalf thought his mother important, for he mentions her twice in his first conversation with Bilbo in the "Hobbit":

To think that I should have lived to be good-morninged by Belladonna Took's son, as if I was selling buttons at the door!

...for the sake of poor Belladonna, I will give you what you asked for.

As far as I know, that is the only place Belladonna Took is mentioned - does anyone know of another?

[Estelyn Telcontar]

As you can tell by my signature quote, I’m interested in Gilraen, having read the story of Aragorn and Arwen in the appendix many times. I looked into it yet again to see what Gilraen was like as a mother. There’s not much, more reading between the lines than specific information, but here’s what I gleaned.

Gilraen was a “single” mother, being widowed when Aragorn was only two years old. Since his life was in danger, being the heir to the throne, her first action was protecting her child. She brought him to Rivendell, hiding him there, and thereby did something quite important – she gave him a substitute father – Elrond. That way he had a male role model – a very vital thing for a boy. The next time we’re told anything of her, Aragorn had fallen in love with Arwen. She noticed his preoccupation and asked what was wrong. When he told her, she gave her opinion, voiced her fears, but did not act to hinder his choice. She didn’t press her forebodings on him and kept his secret, telling no one else. When it was time for him to leave, to begin to accomplish his task in life, she let him go, though she certainly knew that his travels took him into danger. She lived her own life, going back to her own people.

Then came her final leave from him – she had lost hope and expected death. She could not accept his comfort and hope. Instead of her encouraging him, we read that he went away with a heavy heart. After being a pretty good mother, as I see it in above examples, did she desert him in the end?

[Child of the 7th Age]

Belin -- Great topic. I am cramped for time right now and won't be back till Sunday. But I did want to mention one thing.

I particularly see Galadriel acting as a "mother figure" for Frodo on his quest. It is mothers who give children what they need to light their path in life, and it is Galadriel who gives Frodo the phial, with its splinter of light from the Silmarils.

In the Road Goes Ever On, Tolkien discusses the song which Galadriel sings to the departing company. There is one part at the end where it says: "Farewell. Maybe thou shalt find Valimar. Maybe even thou shalt find it." Tolkien tells us that Galadriel addressed this specifically to Frodo. (I never knew that till I read these notes.) TThe author says: "The last lines express a wish (or hope) that though she(i.e. Galadriel) could not go, Frodo might perhaps be allowed to do so." This, again, is the good mother, singling out "her son" for something very special, even when she can not have it.

Finally, in the Letters themselves, there are hints that Galdriel, as well as Gandalf and Arwen, were involved in arranging Frodo's passage to the West.

All these to me are "motherly" functions. I have indeed sometimes imagined that she countinued to fill this "motherly function" for the hobbit after his passage to the Blessed Lands.

[Imperica]

Finally, in the Letters themselves, there are hints that Galdriel, as well as Gandalf and Arwen, were involved in arranging Frodo's passage to the West.

I don't have the honors of reading the letters, can you show the hints please?

[Eowyn of Ithilien]

I don't believe Gilraen deserted him...she loved him still, but can anyone blame her for finally becoming tired of life??? Her beloved husband had died years ago leaving her with a son who would either lead the Dunedain to glory or final darkness...she did indeed give her Hope to them.

[Nar]

Excellent topic, Belin. For some reason I connect Gilraen's exhaustion (I hope HER hope was dimned and not gone completely) and Miriel's exhaustion after giving birth to Feanor. I don't know why, Gilraen's was at the end of her life, not directly after pregnancy. It's something to do with giving so much to your child there's nothing left.

Galadriel is a fascinating mother figure, because at the well, she's challenging and frightening-- there's something of the knife-edge of a crazy-brilliant mother, manic-depressive or nearly, and then as she resists the lure of the ring, she becomes giving and nurturing but also wise as a sage. A mother's good advice is stereotypically ignored, ignore Galadriel's advice at your ultimate peril! In addition to Frodo, Sam seems to have a particular connection to her, almost mystical, on the cliffs and during the journey through Mordor. It seems like Sam was taking on the Luthien/Huorn role of rescuer at that point, and Frodo was taking on the Beren role of seeker and sacrifice. So-- if Galadriel was Melian's heir in that era, and Sam was Luthien's heir in that era, Galadriel would be Sam's honorary mother! And Frodo's honorary mother-in law. I'm sure she'd be honored.

[Child of the 7th Age]

Nar ---

Your reflections on Beren/Frodo and Luthien/Sam are extremely interesting as well as the idea of how this affected Galadriel. I had never thought of these relationships quite like that before, but it is a helpful analogy. Great idea!

sharon, the 7th age hobbit

[ July 07, 2002: Message edited by: Child of the 7th Age ]

[Belin]

Belladonna Took... I forgot about her completely! She seems to be less important in herself than as part of the very important notions of hobbit kinship.. she's mentioned first of all as "one of the three remarkable daughters of the Old Took" (the others are Donnamira and Mirabella, the grandmother of Frodo!), so her parentage is as important as her status as a parent. But of course hobbit kinship in itself would lend a great importance to mothers (and fathers).

The Gilraen/Miriel connection is an interesting one, and I like your point about the use of energy. With my mania for connecting things, the line about Aragorn feeling heavy-hearted as he left Gilraen reminds me more a line in The Lays of Beleriand (which I've just started) about Turin feeling heavy-hearted as he left Morwen... Morwen, at some points anyway, seems to be the opposite of Gilraen and Miriel. After sending Turin to Doriath, she refuses to join him, because she will not leave Hurin's house. Her energy is focused on her husband rather than her children, and her exhaustion is useless... is this part of what leads to Turin's tragedy? This brings up another question... what's a mother's responsibility in ME? Gilraen seems to have succeeded, in spite of the end of her relationship with Aragorn, but is Turin's failure Morwen's as well? What role did Miriel's abscence play in Feanor's life? Could she have done anything? Should she have? I really like Estelyn's analysis of Gilraen's role, that of leaving Aragorn's decisions up to him while still providing him with the information she has.

I really like Child's and Nar's comments on Galadriel... the crazy/brilliant description and the connection of Frodo and Sam add much to this topic, I think. Her continued influence on them as they trek across Mordor is, I think, quite a statement about the strength of her presence.

A mother's good advice is stereotypically ignored, ignore Galadriel's advice at your ultimate peril!

This reminds me of her messages to the Three Hunters, in which advice and prophecy meet... perhaps combining the roles of sage and mother?

Sorry if this post is a little jumbled....

--Belin Ibaimendi

[Estelyn Telcontar]

I would like to come back to this topic, which is by no means exhausted yet! Granted, not too many alive mothers show up in LotR, but I was impressed with an example of a mother who made a major mistake, told in the Unfinished Tales.

The mother is Erendis, her daughter and only child, Ancalimë. Erendis' and Aldarion's marriage was an unfortunate union - more about that on Unhappy Marriages. Because their interests were so different that the love that had bound them to one another cooled off, only one child was born to them. (I wonder how much that marriage owed to the kind-hearted, well-meaning, but ill-fated meddling of Aldarion's mother!) When Aldarion went to sea, Erendis moved with her daughter to a home of her own and became a single mother, basically.

There the problem began: Erendis influenced her daughter to adopt her mother's bitterness to her father, then to all men.

She sought ever to mould her daughter to her own mind, and to feed her upon her own bitterness against men.

Her (Ancalimë's) mother had spoken unceasingly against men.

Erendis surrounded herself and her daughter with women, cut off from all male influence.

Erendis had made Ancalimë accustomed to the society of women.

She made that mistake which is so easy for parents who are estranged to make: Involving the child(ren) in their animosity. And Ancalimë was clever enough to try to use that situation for her own advantage.

Not only that, she was a clinging mother:

Such love as she had was all given to her daughter, and she clung to her, and would not have Ancalimë leave her side.

Not even her education was entrusted to another:

All Ancalimë's teaching was from her mother.

The whole atmosphere of the house was joyless:

There was little enough of laughter for Ancalimë... It was hushed and without music.

Ancalimë took over the attitude of her mother, and it ruined her life later as well.

She had something of her mother's coldness and sense of personal injury.

She did not wish to marry or have children, though she did so in the end because of political necessity. She hated her husband, as her mother had hated her father.

Erendis tried to resolve the conflict in old age, since she was:

neglected by Ancalimë and in bitter loneliness.

But it was too late for reconciliation, and certainly too late for her daughter to profit from her experience.

The moral of the story? Our children are not extensions of our selves - we need to solve our own problems and let them solve their own instead of repeating ours! (At least that's my version - how do you read this story?)

[Ravenna]

What about Lobelia? Although we do not see a great deal of her in the mother role, surely she had a great influence on the son Lotho.
A very strong willed lady, Lobelia, we are primed to dislike her from the start by both Bilbo and Frodo's attitude, but you have to admire her tenacity, both of purpose; ie getting her hands on Bag End, and of life itself after her incarceration in the Lockholes. She obviously cared deeply for her son, as evidenced by her courage in attempting to confront Sharkey, and her sorrow on learning of Lotho's death. I've rambled on long enough, hope you get my point.

[Childlike Empress]

I'd like to mention another mother I see as something of a failure: Aredhel.
I always thought Eol was slightly psychotic in the extent of his rejection of the rest of the world and Aredhel failed to protect Meaglin from his father's insanity. I'm not saying she didn't try; she did when she agreed to escape to Gondolin, but her effort was, as I see it, too little, too late. Meaglin had already had all of his childhood and his young-adulthood learning his father's prejudices and when they did get to Gondolin, she failed give him the guidance he needed to grow up as a balanced human being (so to speak).
I see Aredhel as weak. She allowed all these things to just "happen" to her without really doing anything to empower herself. As a result, her son betrayed her and her homeland to destruction.

Did he also kill her? I couldn't find the account of her death in my copy of the Silmarillion, so if someone would point me to it, I'd appreciate it.

[Birdland]

I can only reconcile the idea of Galadriel as a mother figure if we are thinking in terms of "maiden-mother-crone" aspects of the Goddess. We speak of "Mother Earth" and "Mother Nature", but Earth and Nature can deal out some very un-motherly-like surprises to us all. "Cross her at your own peril" indeed.

One of the most enduring aspects of mothers that I can think of is unconditional love. And we all know that this is not part of Galadriel's philosophy! [img]smilies/eek.gif[/img]

[mark12_30]

Birdland,

Interesting; why do you say that about Galadriel and unconditional love?

--mk12_30

[Tirned Tinnu]

Errrrrrr.....
I cannot associate Galadriel as Mother. Varda, Elbereth, yes, but not Galadriel. I think of her rather like the feminine leader, the strong woman with the gift.

I do not know where virginity came into this, as Galadriel is not virginal. If you wish to say ah, worshipped like the Virgin Mary was in Medieval times, then, perhaps she bears some resemblance.

Frodo's relationship with Galadriel was one of a "warrior" or Knight on a mystic quest, tapping the Oracle before he left on his journey. I get a picture of the Oracle at Dephi, bay laurel smoke rising out of the cypress planted temple.
(Dang, I must stop reading The Golden Bough so often, it's getting to my brain.)

[Kettle of fish]

I have to agree with Tirned Tinnu. I never really saw Galadriel as a mother figure for Frodo. I think Frodo was no less cautious of her than the 'big folk' he travelled with (Gandalf excepted). He does not offer the ring to her out of the love a son gives his mother. She does not really inspire that love in him (although I'm less sure in Sam's case).

[Birdland]

T.T. - Good analogy. Or you could see her as Ninian, if you want to go the L'Morte d'Arthur route. (Is Ninian right? Been awhile.)

Interesting; why do you say that about Galadriel and unconditional love?

(Gulp) Now I'll have to go looking for chapter and verse B.B. I don't know, just a feeling. [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]

[*Varda*]

Birdland - I'm unsure who you mean by Ninian - do you mean Nienor/Niniel?

As for Aredhel, I agree with the points mentioned above, but at the same time remember that she did die for her son when Eol tried to kill him. She did love him.

[Eol]

This is very fascinating topic, I am glad to see it brought up.

As to Aredhel, I feel she was not a bad mother. There seems to be this theme of fate and doom in the Silmarillion....then there was that curse placed on him by his father.

I felt she was a good mother. She spoke of her home, teaching Maeglin and telling him stories of her family. Maeglin did not want to be with his father, especially since as one point that Eol tried to disown him, rejected child.

Maeglin also cared deeply for his mother. That love is evident of what care Aredhel gave him. He wanted to see her homeland, and she wanted to go home. Maeglin desired to car for his mother. That, is the true sign of a good relationship, when the child wants to return what the parent had done for him/her.

[Childlike Empress]

Oh, Eol killed her. All right, well that undermines everything I said before, doesn't it? If she died for her son.

I just always saw her as morally and emotionally weak, which doesn't have a lot to do with her skills as a mother, but, combined with Eol's problems as a father, it does sort of cast Maeglin out on his own, which is very hard on a child and can lead to "tweaked" morals, such as falling in love with your own cousin.

[ September 15, 2002: Message edited by: Childlike Empress ]

[Belin]

It came back!

My notion of her as mother, Birdland, was partly your own fault for raising the issue of mothers in the first place [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img] , and partly due to the awe and respect they felt toward her, and the way she seems to be watching over them both in Lothlorien and later on (by sending messages and by simply remaining in their minds), as well as her insight into them (surely this is a motherly feature if anything is!) and her provider role (she keeps a safe space, she gives them gifts, lembas), as well as a kind of "coattail motherhood" that comes from her association with other characters, and that last is probably not much of a reason.. I rather like the alternative Tirned Tinnu has provided. Galadriel as patroness....yes, I see that. There's definitely a status difference there, and a foreignness, that tempers the caretaking and does make it that of a leader.

Of course, it's easy enough to confuse these roles, if you want to get patriarchal (erm, matriarchal) about it. Hm... I'm still thinking about this. Whatever she's doing, she seems to be very good at it.

Birdie, is your non-unconditional-love impression perhaps related to the way she seems to test the Fellowship when she meets them originally? I saw that as part of the mother's ability to understand things that are hidden, but perhaps after all that too fits better as a quality of a patroness.

As to Aredhel and Maeglin... I definitely see a lot of her in him, perhaps imprinted upon him by Aredhel herself. She passes on to him her recklessness and her desire for independence, which is inconvenient as he moves from one highly constricted situation to another. She also allowed him to make the decision to go back to Gondolin, thus essentially giving up the good influence of any wisdom she may have gained in the meantime (or maybe she hadn't?). She certainly loved him, and in another situation her mothering might have turned out quite well, but she seems ill-suited to the life she's in. Some of what Estelyn said about Erendis seems to apply here as well--Aredhel basically taught her son to be her.

Then again, she did die for him, that's got to count for something.

But it's odd, how we have mothers at both of these extremes--absent ones like Miriel and clingy ones like Erendis. I suppose the secret would be in striking some kind of balance?

--Belin Ibaimendi

[ September 19, 2002: Message edited by: Belin ]

[Eol]

Balance, I think there will never be such a thing. I just find this subject quite interesting at best.

I would agree that Aredhel was reckless in her behavior, you never venture out on your own, in a strange land. Weird and twisted creatures lurk in the shadows. Heck, even the best of men did not favor traveling alone much or not for long( Tuor was guided by Ulmo and later ran into volome).

[Selmo]

Although we don't read much about her, I think that Rose Gamgee (nee Cotton) is an important figure.

Rosie's role as wife and mother is so very ordinary. She has no magic, little learning and no power, except the power we all have, the power of honest, selfless love. She could be the wife or mother of any of us.

She's there to welcome Sam back after the last of the magic has departed from Middle Earth, back to a mundane family life of hard work and simple pleasures.
She's also there to ease us, the readers, back to reality now that the fantasy is over.

[ September 19, 2002: Message edited by: Selmo ]

[Snowdog]

I would have to mention Ivorwen,
grandmother of Aragorn as having the smallest mention but the biggest impact. For she convinced her husband, Aragorn's grandfather, to allow the marriage of Arathorn and Gliraen despite their age difference. She had foresight!

[Finwe]

I think the main similarity between all mothers in Middle-earth is that they all had some degree of foresight regarding their children. We know that Miriel knew that Fëanor would do both great and terrible things, we know that Nerdanel saw some of her sons' fates, and we know that Earwen gave Galadriel her mother-name (Nerwen) for a reason. The main way that we can see the foresight in Elven mothers is through their children's mother-names, which were given for a reason. It is said that a mother has insight into her child's fate at birth and shortly after, which is how she gives the child its mother-name.

As for human mothers, I still think the same applies. I think that Erendis, to some degree, saw that her daughter's fate was going to be much like her own, and thus, instilled more of her bitterness into her. Gilraen and Ivorwen definitely saw their children's fates, and were able to make key decisions based on that. If Ivorwen had not seen the possibility of Aragorn's birth, Aragorn might not have ever been born. Thus, the foresight of mothers has played a pivotal role in the main events of Middle-earth.